The difficulty of Fromsoft's games is very explicitly part of the experience. Miyazaki has repeatedly said that he wants to create a feeling of overcoming a major challenge in his games. Take that away and there's no massive dopamine rush when you finally beat that boss you've been stuck on for weeks. You just sort of get a middling feeling of satisfaction otherwise. Going against Miyazaki's intent doesn't just shit on the designer (let's be honest though nobody really cares about that), but it does rob you of a better experience for yourself. People really need to learn to appreciate delayed gratification and be comfortable that they aren't going to clear a boss on the first, second or even twentieth attempt.
"Git gud" might sound like a very dismissive reply from the community, and I do think at times it isn't helpful when it comes to defending these games' difficulty level, but at the end of the day it's just a shorthand for "keep at it, learn some strategies, and i'm sure you'll get there eventually bro". Tough love basically. Step past the phrase though and I think there's a really strong community spirit behind the From games. I see a lot of helping people via jolly co-operation, detailed strategy videos and the deep wikis that spring up every release. There are very few games where the discourse online continues well beyond the confines of the game like that.
In terms of difficulty options, I can see an argument that what is just somewhat hard for one player might be extremely hard for another, but it's very tricky to tune difficulty in such a way that it's the perfect level for everyone. If a player picked a difficulty setting that is too low for them, that carefully designed challenge of the game will end up robbing them of the intended experience. I think Miyazaki's approach of giving the game a flat difficulty level, which is just universally hard for everyone, is much wiser. It keeps everyone on the same page when it comes to strategizing ways of overcoming it. This really helps the social aspect of the game. It also creates a bonding opportunity between players. If I tell you I just beat Malenia, you already know what i've been through and so there will be a mutual respect for each other. And everyone wanting to be part of that exclusive feeling "I beat Elden Ring" club adds a subtle amount of competition between people.
I also think there's evidence that developers can't actually make difficulty "too hard". Elden Ring is now one of the best selling games of all time, sitting at 30 million copies sold as of April 2025. It mopped up the 2022 awards season. Clearly a high difficulty level is not a deterrent for people's purchases or enjoyment of the game. Profoundly disabled people have been able to overcome Elden Ring. People playing on Donkey Konga bongos or Guitar Hero controllers have been able to as well. Really there ought to be no excuses. It isn't ever "impossible", which should really be an uplifting takeaway message, but perhaps people don't want to admit to themselves that the will to actually do it might take a modicum of effort. Which is entirely on them at the end of the day. So in a way I do view a lot of the begging for difficulty options as a sort of admission of personal weakness.