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November Wrasslin |OT| Ask Not The Jobber How John Cena Wins
- Thread starter Plywood
- Start date
Mr. Luchador
Member
I always associate Voodoo Child with Hollywood Hogan now, whenever I hear it I get flashbacks to 90s WCW. I have to resist the urge to the do the old Hogan air guitar duckface entrance routine.
Yep getting hyped up about it here as well.
simplythebest
Banned
There are only three people in this galaxy who have an amiable relationship with Vince:
1) Triple H
2) Vince's dimwitted daughter
3) John Cena
4)D!ck Ebersol, D!ck Cheney and D!ck Clark.
Vince loves Dicks!
1) Triple H
2) Vince's dimwitted daughter
3) John Cena
4)D!ck Ebersol, D!ck Cheney and D!ck Clark.
Vince loves Dicks!
I I can't
It's like, even if you merged them you'd still be way off the mark.
bitesnintendog
Member
Sad that Spike wants nothing to do with wrestling anymore. I can't think of any other large channels who'd even give wrestling a shot at this point.
simplythebest
Banned
slightconfuse
Banned
Ricochet vs gargano was rad
Don't flatter yourself, brah. You're Elvis Grbac tier at best.
Mr. Luchador
Member
Were TNN/Spike big before they took wrestling on? Could be a chance for a smaller market channel to grab some wrestling and grow.
simplythebest
Banned
FallingEdge
Member
bitesnintendog
Member
TNN as The Nashville Network was pretty small but they were seemingly on a lot of cable packages and they spent a lot of money to do some aggressive rebranding.
I haven't had cable in years so I'm not sure if any channels fit wrestling past the ones who were interested before. WGN and Ion got burned by WWE and I doubt they're strong enough to launch an unknown like Spike could.
shaowebb
Member
I am actually surprised by how good the production and matches are on Lucha Underground. Nice to see John Morrison find a home. Pretty good roster...Lowki, Homicide, John Morrison, Pentagon, Drago, Fenix , Ricochet, Blue Demon, Chavo Guerrero, Mascarita Dorada, Prince Puma...really quality fast paced technical matches. Nice stuff from the announce team of Matt Striker/Vampiro and having Konnan as a crooked manager is pretty smart too.
Heres an episode to watch
Odd aesthetic to it with the whole underground lucha thing, but the booking and roster carries it really well.
Heres an episode to watch
Odd aesthetic to it with the whole underground lucha thing, but the booking and roster carries it really well.
simplythebest
Banned
Just more of the same old bullshit from this fucking developer.
My main fear with Lucha Underground is that it won't find enough of an audience to warrant multiple seasons. The people backing it have to be pretty passionate about it, as it looks like it costs a lot of money to produce. I want to support them as much as I'm able to from Canada, but it's tough. I'd totally add to their weekly viewer numbers if I could, but I don't get El Rey.
Torah Talk with Stro 11/16/2014: The Genesis of McGillicutty
God created shit. Flipped on the light switch and there was light. That there light, friends, it was good.
God created man just so he could tell someone to go fuck himself. I'm pretty convinced this is the actual meaning of the story. He creates Adam, lets him name everything because why not. His dick ran deep, so deep, so deep it put Adam's ass to sleep. Then he pulled a rib about and formed Eve out of it. Then he told Adam to be fruitful and multiply. Eve is part of him. God created man just to tell him to go fuck himself. Which in my mind, being part Jew, is SUCH a Jewy thing to do. I love it, Maggle. Episode of Curb waiting to happen.
The serpent was probably like a lizard. Maybe a talking dragon. God seemed to really over react to the eating of fruit from the tree of knowledge. He didn't want humans to be as smart as him, so he forbade them to eat any of those fruits. A. Why did he not want humans to be as smart as him? B. Why the fuck would he put that tree there in the first place? There is also a tree of life in Eden and if they had eaten from that, they'd have ever lasting life. But then he's like, "Nah, FUCK YOU, now women are going to have terrible labor pains and men are cursed. And serpent, fuck you even more, Imma get rid of your limbs and make you crawl on your belly and eat dirt, BITCH." From the very start, God seems like a bit of a dick head.
Cain and Abel seems like a shitty story to begin with. God immediately preferred Abel because Abel gave better gifts to him. So, of course Cain was pissy. He worked just as hard and even before they were born, God seemed to prefer Abel. What kind of shit is that? And so, Damon Cain chokeslams Abel straight to Hell. God asks him where his brother is, knowing full well where that son of a bitch was. Mother fucker is omnipotent and omniscient. He's just trying to trap Cain again. Cain and his descendents are the first humans to be cursed. The Mean Mark of Damon Cain is a sign to anyone that wishes to kill him should not, lest they get an even more severe punishment from God. It seems Cain's line died out in the great flood, though.
Angels were most definitely coming to earf to fuck and impregnate women.
A lot of weird shit with brothers and sisters. Actual brothers and sisters, and married people claiming to be brothers and sisters. Husbands totally pimping out their wives and daughters.
God seemed really into the idea of circumcision. Seems like a weird thing to make your ever lasting sign of your covenant. Maybe like...cut your hand or something?
Lot totally offered his daughters up to rapists. Later, they would get him drunk and rape him so they could get pregnant, because there were no men left around.
God is pretty sick of humans by this point, the angels fucking the women also didn't seem to please him, so he decides he's going to kill everything. But Noah is such a dope dude that he gives Noah time to build an ark and get pairs of every animal and creature on earth, and he will survive with his family/followers since he believes so much. They do and shit starts over again.
People decide they're going to build a tower so high they can reach the heavens. Well, God gets pissed at that, sabotages the tower, and then makes sure no one speaks the same language ever again just to be a dick about it all.
Honest Abe lies to his son and followers in order to get Isaac alone to sacrifice him to God. But attacking him, bounding him, and then was about to stab him with a knife when an angel (probably Gabe), came down and was like, "JK".
A boring as SHIT section which lists the family lines of everyone for about 8 generations. A begets B, B begets C....on and on and on and on. There are like 6 of these, one of which goes I swear over 100 names.
Jacob wrestled with either God or an angel, and one of those motherfuckers had the temerity to pull the Flair holding the ropes for leverage while doing the figure four spot. And Jacob didn't tap and eventually the match was ruled a no contest when Jacob was blessed to stop. He also got his name changed to Israel after the match.
But before this, Jacob and his brother Esau had some issues. Much like Cain and Abel, God favored Jacob from birth. You see, they were twins, and God said that the elder shall serve the younger. Well, Esau was first born. One day, Esau had worked hard and Jacob had made some stew. Esau begged for the stew, which Jacob would only give to him if Esau gave away his birthright. Esau was so hungry he agreed. Now, Jacob had scammed his brother out of his inheritance. It wasn't illegal and was actually seen as proof that Jacob was better, because he was smarter. The moral of the story is that it is better to be smart and sometimes less than honest than to be head strong and unable to make discriminating choices. Later on, Jacob would dress up as Esau to trick Isaac, who was now blind, at the permission of his mom. When Isaac found out, he doesn't take back the blessing, then refuses to give one to Esau, but eventually relents and gives him a lesser one. Bucha dicks in this book.
A dude fucked Jacob's daughter after this. Something you just didn't do. He convinces everyone that if all of the males in the city circumcise themselves, he will forgive the discretion and the families will join together. They do so. But then some of his sons come through at night and kill all the males in the city. Some of his other sons plunder. Jake wasn't happy about it.
Jake's favorite son was Joseph, who was also his youngest. The other brothers were jelly and decided they were going to kill him, but Reuben Sandwich decided they should just run him off instead. When they came back, Joe had escaped, so they killed some random kid and dipped Joe's tunic in the blood, then took it back to Jake, who thought a beast must have eaten Joe and was very upset.
Judah had a son named Er. God didn't like him, so he killed him. Er's brother, Onan was then supposed to take over and get Er's wife pregnant, but he made sure to pull out when they had sex, because the kids wouldn't be legitimately his. So God killed him, too. Judah told this woman to stay with her father until his other son was grown. Well, after Judah's wife died, he ended up unknowingly fucking his twice widowed daughter in law and got her pregnant. She revealed the SWERVE later on, and he didn't fuck her again. But she had twins. When the hand of the first one popped out, the mid wive wrapped a "crimson thread" around his hand to signify it was the first born. But then the other twin snatched his brother back in and came out first instead.
The story of Joe getting put in prison for NOT fucking the Pharaoh's wife, which I covered in Koran Korner. But the follow up that was not included: Joe was good at translation dreams and told the Pharaoh that his nightmare's were God telling him of the upcoming famines. Big P made Joe second in command, and Joe made sure there were plenty of left overs so everyone would have food when the famines came. Eventually, it spread to the whole world and his brothers came asking for help. They didn't recognize him. He pretended not to recognize them. He fucks with them over and over before revealing himself as their brother and requesting they send pops to Egypt as soon as possible. Blah blah blah, Jacob died in Egypt but didn't want to be buried there. He also blessed the younger son of Joe's first, which seems to be a theme in Genesis.
God created shit. Flipped on the light switch and there was light. That there light, friends, it was good.
God created man just so he could tell someone to go fuck himself. I'm pretty convinced this is the actual meaning of the story. He creates Adam, lets him name everything because why not. His dick ran deep, so deep, so deep it put Adam's ass to sleep. Then he pulled a rib about and formed Eve out of it. Then he told Adam to be fruitful and multiply. Eve is part of him. God created man just to tell him to go fuck himself. Which in my mind, being part Jew, is SUCH a Jewy thing to do. I love it, Maggle. Episode of Curb waiting to happen.
The serpent was probably like a lizard. Maybe a talking dragon. God seemed to really over react to the eating of fruit from the tree of knowledge. He didn't want humans to be as smart as him, so he forbade them to eat any of those fruits. A. Why did he not want humans to be as smart as him? B. Why the fuck would he put that tree there in the first place? There is also a tree of life in Eden and if they had eaten from that, they'd have ever lasting life. But then he's like, "Nah, FUCK YOU, now women are going to have terrible labor pains and men are cursed. And serpent, fuck you even more, Imma get rid of your limbs and make you crawl on your belly and eat dirt, BITCH." From the very start, God seems like a bit of a dick head.
Cain and Abel seems like a shitty story to begin with. God immediately preferred Abel because Abel gave better gifts to him. So, of course Cain was pissy. He worked just as hard and even before they were born, God seemed to prefer Abel. What kind of shit is that? And so, Damon Cain chokeslams Abel straight to Hell. God asks him where his brother is, knowing full well where that son of a bitch was. Mother fucker is omnipotent and omniscient. He's just trying to trap Cain again. Cain and his descendents are the first humans to be cursed. The Mean Mark of Damon Cain is a sign to anyone that wishes to kill him should not, lest they get an even more severe punishment from God. It seems Cain's line died out in the great flood, though.
Angels were most definitely coming to earf to fuck and impregnate women.
A lot of weird shit with brothers and sisters. Actual brothers and sisters, and married people claiming to be brothers and sisters. Husbands totally pimping out their wives and daughters.
God seemed really into the idea of circumcision. Seems like a weird thing to make your ever lasting sign of your covenant. Maybe like...cut your hand or something?
Lot totally offered his daughters up to rapists. Later, they would get him drunk and rape him so they could get pregnant, because there were no men left around.
God is pretty sick of humans by this point, the angels fucking the women also didn't seem to please him, so he decides he's going to kill everything. But Noah is such a dope dude that he gives Noah time to build an ark and get pairs of every animal and creature on earth, and he will survive with his family/followers since he believes so much. They do and shit starts over again.
People decide they're going to build a tower so high they can reach the heavens. Well, God gets pissed at that, sabotages the tower, and then makes sure no one speaks the same language ever again just to be a dick about it all.
Honest Abe lies to his son and followers in order to get Isaac alone to sacrifice him to God. But attacking him, bounding him, and then was about to stab him with a knife when an angel (probably Gabe), came down and was like, "JK".
A boring as SHIT section which lists the family lines of everyone for about 8 generations. A begets B, B begets C....on and on and on and on. There are like 6 of these, one of which goes I swear over 100 names.
Jacob wrestled with either God or an angel, and one of those motherfuckers had the temerity to pull the Flair holding the ropes for leverage while doing the figure four spot. And Jacob didn't tap and eventually the match was ruled a no contest when Jacob was blessed to stop. He also got his name changed to Israel after the match.
But before this, Jacob and his brother Esau had some issues. Much like Cain and Abel, God favored Jacob from birth. You see, they were twins, and God said that the elder shall serve the younger. Well, Esau was first born. One day, Esau had worked hard and Jacob had made some stew. Esau begged for the stew, which Jacob would only give to him if Esau gave away his birthright. Esau was so hungry he agreed. Now, Jacob had scammed his brother out of his inheritance. It wasn't illegal and was actually seen as proof that Jacob was better, because he was smarter. The moral of the story is that it is better to be smart and sometimes less than honest than to be head strong and unable to make discriminating choices. Later on, Jacob would dress up as Esau to trick Isaac, who was now blind, at the permission of his mom. When Isaac found out, he doesn't take back the blessing, then refuses to give one to Esau, but eventually relents and gives him a lesser one. Bucha dicks in this book.
A dude fucked Jacob's daughter after this. Something you just didn't do. He convinces everyone that if all of the males in the city circumcise themselves, he will forgive the discretion and the families will join together. They do so. But then some of his sons come through at night and kill all the males in the city. Some of his other sons plunder. Jake wasn't happy about it.
Jake's favorite son was Joseph, who was also his youngest. The other brothers were jelly and decided they were going to kill him, but Reuben Sandwich decided they should just run him off instead. When they came back, Joe had escaped, so they killed some random kid and dipped Joe's tunic in the blood, then took it back to Jake, who thought a beast must have eaten Joe and was very upset.
Judah had a son named Er. God didn't like him, so he killed him. Er's brother, Onan was then supposed to take over and get Er's wife pregnant, but he made sure to pull out when they had sex, because the kids wouldn't be legitimately his. So God killed him, too. Judah told this woman to stay with her father until his other son was grown. Well, after Judah's wife died, he ended up unknowingly fucking his twice widowed daughter in law and got her pregnant. She revealed the SWERVE later on, and he didn't fuck her again. But she had twins. When the hand of the first one popped out, the mid wive wrapped a "crimson thread" around his hand to signify it was the first born. But then the other twin snatched his brother back in and came out first instead.
The story of Joe getting put in prison for NOT fucking the Pharaoh's wife, which I covered in Koran Korner. But the follow up that was not included: Joe was good at translation dreams and told the Pharaoh that his nightmare's were God telling him of the upcoming famines. Big P made Joe second in command, and Joe made sure there were plenty of left overs so everyone would have food when the famines came. Eventually, it spread to the whole world and his brothers came asking for help. They didn't recognize him. He pretended not to recognize them. He fucks with them over and over before revealing himself as their brother and requesting they send pops to Egypt as soon as possible. Blah blah blah, Jacob died in Egypt but didn't want to be buried there. He also blessed the younger son of Joe's first, which seems to be a theme in Genesis.
I think they were dumb as shit. WCW also has really weird and stupid PPV ads.
Idk. I know tree of Joey Lawrence had been used online for a long time. Tree of Keanu probably had been used somewhere.
Looking forward to more Torah Talk. Just a bunch of guys fucking their sisters and spreading their seed all the while hoping they're not pissing off God. And God is a dick to a bunch of people. He's like John Cena just wanting to protect his spot.
CM Punk was building a ziggurat/the Tower of Babil, but God Cena was like "Fuck that, you ain't touching me. Down you go!" And no one could understand each other because they just couldn't figure out how they were ever supposed to ascend to God Cena's heights.
CM Punk was building a ziggurat/the Tower of Babil, but God Cena was like "Fuck that, you ain't touching me. Down you go!" And no one could understand each other because they just couldn't figure out how they were ever supposed to ascend to God Cena's heights.
Terrabyte20xx
Junior Wrestlemania XXX Champion
I have this bookmarked on both my laptop and my phone just in case a time comes when it's appropriate to use. Finding it via google seems to be impossible for some reason.
NXT commentary is such shit. God damn. Albert and Alex Reily are terrible. Albert says the same shit every match. "WE'VE SEEN THIS BEFORE!" "OOOOOOHHHH!" Alex's example of how great of an athlete Bliss is is comparing her to a cheerleader. Not a great wrestler, not a WNBA player, not a pro soccer player, not an Olympic athlete. A cheerleader. They both yell too fucking much. I don't know why they continue to put people with no aptitude as color commentators at the booth.
reptilescorpio
Member
Does anyone else hate crowd "THIS IS AWESOME" chants? Really shits me for some reason.
Spirit of Jazz
Banned
Fuckers really getting into a wrestling match they've paid to see and letting their appreciation for the workers who put their bodies on the line to entertain them be known? What total cunts.
Are you Vince McMahon?
Autumn Wind
Member
Eh? What do you mean muting the themes?
Spirit of Jazz
Banned
Some wrestlers use licensed music which can't be legally streamed without the rights to it so it ends up muted.
I absolutely love this picture.
Shit I was looking for this image too. I was going to edit it with Bork's face and Paul Heyman kneeling back during Summerslam.
if my title just floated away from me like that i'd be pretty shook too
Incredible.
reptilescorpio
Member
Well hey, like I said, not sure why it shits me but it does. I hear it pretty much every time I watch wrestling now, maybe I'm just sick of hearing it.
That dirty son of a bitch! He has a magnet!
Should be just Brennan and Albert. I'm legit shook when Riley said the cheerleader comment. He could have compared Bliss to Bayley and it would have been a fine comparison.
Macho Madness
Member
Serpentine
Banned
uh what is happening there
lmao. lmao lmao.
wow, they replicated the myfuckingratings.gif! great attention to detail! good job, developers!
Sweeney Tom
Banned
Fuck it, just gonna stick to playing SVR06 and HCTP forever. WWE games are cursed
HOMEBOY OVER HERE
Banned
I'm not a fan of Undertaker's gimmick but goddamn could he really go back in the 90s especially for his size. That suicide dive he used to do like weekly eventually then becoming a WM only spot. His matches with Austin and pretty much all his matches in like 1998/1999 were all really good too. 1998 Taker was great. I'm also in shock he didn't break his neck at WM25.
Probably the best of the people they have that are a) doing nothing better and b) willing to/capable of doing the job adequately (for the E, which is no great feat.). Three of the NXT regulars are RAW washouts; might be their last chance to justify the paychecks they're getting.
Also considering the RAW commentators, seems like paying for new blood might not be something Vince wants to pursue. When they cycle someone out, they usually use someone in house to replace them.
Carnby
Member
He is a magnet. Champ Magnet Punk.
Professor Beef
Banned
my fucking metacritic
Albert is also a trainer in NXT so he's set. Riley has nothing to contribute.
giancarlo123x
Banned
Best in the world talking on talking dead.
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