I agree with zackiechan here. Plus You can't bang her degree, that's my philosophy
that I just came up with now.
Edit: also if you need to fenagle dates you should probably adhere to the "beggars can't be choosers" philosophy as well.
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Online Dating |OT| Please Respond
- Thread starter Jhoan
- Start date
I agree with zackiechan here. Plus You can't bang her degree, that's my philosophy
Edit: also if you need to fenagle dates you should probably adhere to the "beggars can't be choosers" philosophy as well.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Cut your hair, kurt you goddamn hippy.
Much better picture. You still look somewhat afraid, but babysteps.
Much better picture. You still look somewhat afraid, but babysteps.
I'd also add that your pose is a bit slouched. Make sure to stand up straight on your next picture. Not stiff, but not slouched either. It makes you look confident.
ZackieChan
Member
Lift some weights, too
Update:The girl brought it up to the girl I'm currently dating (who I'll call Mary). Not entirely sure how she knew Mary and I were dating...but I think Mary invited her to a meetup we're a part of, she saw me on the page, and told Mary that her and I had a "thing". Mary asked her if it would be awkward, to which the girl replied "Not for me. If it's awkward for him, to hell with him".
Mary don't care, though. Her main comment was "I don't see how you two would work as a couple. She's so perky." Didn't stop us from having a damn good date.
(The girl didn't come to the meetup. Nor did she show up to this other event she knew I'd be at - we both'd volunteered as extras for a short film Mary/the girl's friend was doing)
Man I'm starting to get cynical about dating again. I never heard back from the 36 year old I after I texted her yesterday for the first time since last Wednesday. My gut feeling was right on her giving me the fade last week which was confirmed yesterday. It sucks and I'm still feeling a bit bummed out by it but I moved on. Then again, two dates was not really a good indicator that things were going exceptionally well.
Tinder messages have dried up possibly because I'm not moving fast enough to ask girls out; I haven't been on a Tinder date since early last month. I get lots of great back and forth going initially but then 1-7 days pass and radio silence or in some cases I've got gotten the good old "I'm on vacation and won't be back for x weeks" reply. If I message a second time after no reply the first time, I either get unmatched or no reply.
On the positive side, I've been talking to handful of girls on OKC so we'll see where that goes. Some have fallen off so I'll try again. I'm trying to keep myself in good spirits and remind myself that I need to have fun with it, not take it super seriously. Also go for the date much sooner than later while the iron is hot.
Also, is it just me or is Tinder taking forever to find matches on Android? I mean the Android version is buggy as sin as is.
Tinder messages have dried up possibly because I'm not moving fast enough to ask girls out; I haven't been on a Tinder date since early last month. I get lots of great back and forth going initially but then 1-7 days pass and radio silence or in some cases I've got gotten the good old "I'm on vacation and won't be back for x weeks" reply. If I message a second time after no reply the first time, I either get unmatched or no reply.
On the positive side, I've been talking to handful of girls on OKC so we'll see where that goes. Some have fallen off so I'll try again. I'm trying to keep myself in good spirits and remind myself that I need to have fun with it, not take it super seriously. Also go for the date much sooner than later while the iron is hot.
Also, is it just me or is Tinder taking forever to find matches on Android? I mean the Android version is buggy as sin as is.
ZackieChan
Member
Less talk, more dates, bro.
electricshake
Member
How come it took you so long to text her? If you were keen why not ask her out again sooner?
Noted. X activity on x day at x time isn't drilled into my head enough after a certain point in the conversation. I'm taking two steps back and one step forward. I think part of it is because I'm trying to control the amount of dates I go on per week but it's been dry lately either way.
Because I figured to drop contact after asking her out twice last week on short notice and (expectedly) got declined both times so I left it be a few days. It seemed to backfire on me since someone out a day beforehand is a huge mistake given that he/she will probably already have plans. I suppose I can try texting her one more time and ask her out for pool since that's what I had in mind for doing with her this week but I'm not holding my breath on a response.
ZackieChan
Member
You didn't exactly ask a question begging for an interesting answer. Step your game up.
I second the suggestion of sending a sticker or gif.
I don't send out of left field stuff but I guess it could work. If there is nothing to go on and you don't feel like sending a gif just tell her some variation of "you are hot" ...If the girl thinks you are attractive it really doesn't matter what you say, and it opens you up to potential sexy talk sooner without having to make that awkward transition from "so what is your job?" and other small talk to "looking to bang or what?"
I don't send out of left field stuff but I guess it could work. If there is nothing to go on and you don't feel like sending a gif just tell her some variation of "you are hot" ...If the girl thinks you are attractive it really doesn't matter what you say, and it opens you up to potential sexy talk sooner without having to make that awkward transition from "so what is your job?" and other small talk to "looking to bang or what?"
Girl with one photo and no personal info could also mean she's not looking to tell anyone any details that could identify her, but she wants to find someone to hook up with...
thats just what I've heard 😏
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Gifs are actually pretty effective on tinder.
I hope the above poster didn't actually send that bitchy response to 'gd'. Unnecessary.
I hope the above poster didn't actually send that bitchy response to 'gd'. Unnecessary.
literally every opener i send is just "hey
cute pictures" and it hasn't affected my response rate one bitI will add to that if there's anything interesting in her profile to comment on though.
literally every opener i send is just "hey
I will add to that if there's anything interesting in her profile to comment on though.
Anecdotal of course, but many girls I've talked to feel like this is a boring as shit opener. I mean if it works for you then by all means keep going, but I wouldn't recommend it to anyone.
oh of course, just because it works for me doesn't mean it'll work for everyone.
and I can understand the pov that that's kind of a lame opener, but at the same time i don't want to put so much effort into coming up with something cool right off the bat.
I've put real thought into openers before only to get ignored. and in a sense, a plain opener acts as a filter of sorts - I'm not out to impress anyone with my amazing convos (though of course I'll try to take things in more interesting directions after the opener), and I want girls who are already highly interested in my profile to begin with - in which case almost anything works
Yep I agree. Keep it simple and don't waste time. If anything unless the girl is super hot and I wanna make sure I get a word in I'll just let them send the first message. Otherwise I'll have too many people to chat with. Not really a brag, it's easy as shit to match girls in China as a foreigner
unless you are zackiechan
ZackieChan
Member
🙄
Final Spark
Member
Downloaded Tinder for the first time. Any tips/info i should be aware of ?
Wish me luck.
Wish me luck.
Don't be duped by the super obvious bots asking you to click links or send phone number or whatever. Are they still on there?
Good photos. Not bathroom selfies.
Congrats on the sex.
Of course not, that would be ridiculous. I just found "gd" hilarious.
Conversation is also still going on. ¯\_(ツ
_/¯Well here's my experience / advice
Don't get attached to anyone and know it's not going to last and you'll have a better time. If you end up being wrong and it does last by some off chance, cool.
I have a girl who is more attached to me than I am to her. I wouldn't want the opposite, because I know what it feels like when it doesn't work out. I'm not upset about that stuff anymore.
Worst case scenario (and I'm not talking about just hooking up for sex) is to at least become friends with someone. I'm more interested in that at the moment than cliche commitment. Hell, in my search for women I met a guy (no, not gay) who has become a friend I enjoy talking with more than women. You should remember that aside from sex, you want to be emotionally healthy, to feel cared about or to share experience with another. Talking with a person who makes you comfortable regardless of gender may be all you're craving.
Don't get attached to anyone and know it's not going to last and you'll have a better time. If you end up being wrong and it does last by some off chance, cool.
I have a girl who is more attached to me than I am to her. I wouldn't want the opposite, because I know what it feels like when it doesn't work out. I'm not upset about that stuff anymore.
Worst case scenario (and I'm not talking about just hooking up for sex) is to at least become friends with someone. I'm more interested in that at the moment than cliche commitment. Hell, in my search for women I met a guy (no, not gay) who has become a friend I enjoy talking with more than women. You should remember that aside from sex, you want to be emotionally healthy, to feel cared about or to share experience with another. Talking with a person who makes you comfortable regardless of gender may be all you're craving.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Geez I have almost 300 posts in this thread. I'm one of the success stories here, so for those still looking, don't give up.
Parted ways with my girlfriend at the conclusion of our trip together (she'll be coming back in a month) and it hit me hard. I mostly held it together at first (for her sake), but later in the airport by myself, sitting there with no WiFi (seriously, get it together JFK), I literally started tearing up. I realized it was like drug withdrawal: spending 24/7 with someone for days and then suddenly they're not there, even the knowledge that she'll be back wasn't enough to keep my composure. It was a long flight, but being home and around people has helped.
EDIT: top of the page, yikes.
Parted ways with my girlfriend at the conclusion of our trip together (she'll be coming back in a month) and it hit me hard. I mostly held it together at first (for her sake), but later in the airport by myself, sitting there with no WiFi (seriously, get it together JFK), I literally started tearing up. I realized it was like drug withdrawal: spending 24/7 with someone for days and then suddenly they're not there, even the knowledge that she'll be back wasn't enough to keep my composure. It was a long flight, but being home and around people has helped.
Yes I was in NYC. No I didn't know about the Vaporeon in Central Park. Yes my hotel room was at a Pokestop, and yes I did say on more than one occasion "I'll go to bed after this lure expires."
EDIT: top of the page, yikes.
There's a Vaporeon in Central Park?! Welp, now I know where I'm heading to on a date. Thank heavens for Pokemon Go because it's proving to be a fantastic and cheap date idea as well as good conversation fodder. Why it's almost damn near phasing out Netflix and chill (not really)!Lone_Prodigy said:
I wonder what Pokestop was this? Y'know you could have popped into the NYC GAF thread and said something but I understand you were with your girlfriend so no worries. I find the weekly Story Time thread in the Tinder and OKC subreddit to be inspirational and funny.
Just as I lamented about dates seemingly drying up, another wave of dates decides to crash down into my beach! As someone else said in the Dating-Age, it is so damn vital to move things to a face-to-face meeting ASAP as soon there's a rapport.
I'm meeting up with the med school girl on Friday night at a museum; an Asian girl who lives in my neighborhood on Monday evening , got a potential date lined up for Saturday and possibly Sunday. Oh brother! Thanks Pokemon Go! I have a bunch of dates themed around that. Oh and we've hit the 12,000 posts mark. Keep them coming guys!
I legit feel that is the case. When I was single last year it was "what's the last thing you marathoned on Netflix?" followed by "Yeah lets get together and watch that!" Started taking online dating seriously today and now I have a PokeDate this weekend in Central Park.
Hahaha, exactly! See? It's quite the phenomenon! PokeDates are becoming de rigeur. I was going to have one in Central Park but I had to cancel on the girl since I had already set up a date with another girl on Friday but even then, we're still going to end up going to Central Park after hitting up The Met. I told the aforementioned girl to download Pokemon Go since she's not aware of it. I finally have something I can get in on since I don't have Netflix.
It's legit crazy how big it is. Girl I dated briefly last year texted me a screenshot of her account being level 19. I don't think she even plays video games otherwise.
True Savior
Member
Dont have bad photos (second most important rule on Tinder). Don't get overly attached. Try to be funny and different (if a girl is somewhat active on it she will get A LOT of messages). Being normal actually works but it has to be a girl who very rarely uses it (impossible to know). Don't prolong conversations endlessly, and after a while take the conversations away from tinder to another messaging app. Use condoms.
I think it is. You can thank Pokemon Go for taking over it since I think this is a direct response to it but sounds like it was in development before said game launched. I find it and the new UI a bit jarring since it's still buggy. Here's what Tinder has to say on it:
More in the the link including a video on it.
I think we need to form the NYC Tinder Rat Pack.
On Tinder Social:
https://defaultnamehere.tumblr.com/post/147747146865/stalking-your-facebook-friends-on-tinder
So yeah there's that.
https://defaultnamehere.tumblr.com/post/147747146865/stalking-your-facebook-friends-on-tinder
So yeah there's that.
ZackieChan
Member
I really don't care if my friends see that I'm on Tinder or can see my profile. Are people still embarrassed to use dating apps?
It seems pretty ridiculous. "Hey lets all hang out!" When I first had a group of three girls show up while swiping I thought it was some weird group sex feature.
Checked it out to see which friends are on it. I guess the majority of my friends chose to opt out of Social because I know there are way more on there (one of which I went out with recently after we matched) but it only will let me invite 4 of them.
I think so, especially older people. Also there are a lot of people like me that use FB basically to communicate with people and don't feel the need to post everything that they're doing. Also keep in mind the people on apps who might be in a relationship and wouldn't want to post that they're on Tinder, even if it's "just looking". Not everyone needs to know everything on social media. A little bit of privacy (or even at least the appearance of it) is a good thing.
Ya, it asks you to form a group. #TeamValor
That's not what I'm implying. Did you read the blog post? One can see "success ratio" (probably how much you match), position, last login and more. You know, the feature they removed (except it's still there). It's kind of shitty for an app to leak that much sensitive info, and when confronted with it they're like "eh".
ZackieChan
Member
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Back in OLD-land for AD. It's been an interesting few weeks: I went out with a girl a couple weekends ago, and now we're great friends. Conversely, I had to scale back replying to messages because I was exhausted from going out after work. Currently have a third date planned with a super cute lawyer with whom I have insane chemistry (as in "when, not if," territory) and I honestly think about her . . . well, intermittently but not infrequently.
Meanwhile, I went out with two other girls. One emailed me and talked about how much she wants to sleep with me. She's catching feelings so hard and fast that I'm a little unnerved by it. She's intelligent and hot, of course, but . . . there's the first girl.
With the third girl, we had a lovely conversation and I wasn't fishing for chemistry, considering I had enough on my plate, and I think we've friended each other (I hope?), with plans to see a comedy show or play at some point.
Meanwhile, I went out with two other girls. One emailed me and talked about how much she wants to sleep with me. She's catching feelings so hard and fast that I'm a little unnerved by it. She's intelligent and hot, of course, but . . . there's the first girl.
With the third girl, we had a lovely conversation and I wasn't fishing for chemistry, considering I had enough on my plate, and I think we've friended each other (I hope?), with plans to see a comedy show or play at some point.
ZackieChan
Member
Don't do it bro. Don't let it get you down. Take a break and do some things for yourself. Learn a language or do Stronglifts or something.