Horrified Investigators Find Unresponsive Legislative Body In Capitol Building
WASHINGTONDescribing it as one of the most disturbing scenes they have ever been called upon to investigate, horrified officers from the Washington Metropolitan Police Department told reporters Wednesday they had found an unresponsive legislative body in the U.S. Capitol building. At approximately 11:30 a.m., after receiving multiple tips from concerned citizens, law enforcement officials dispatched patrolmen to an address at the corner of East Capitol Street and First Street. According to police sources, many of those who entered the building were overwhelmed by what they discovered inside, and onlookers reported that officers walking out of the property appeared visibly shaken and pale.
Responding officers found the lawmaking body on the floor of the congressional chambers, completely rigid and making no movements of any kind, said Chief Detective Mike Logan, explaining that it was evident to those on the scene that efforts to revive the subject would be futile. In addition to being completely inert, the body showed signs of advanced decay. Preliminary forensic tests suggest it has been in this state for months, perhaps even years, he added.
Upon learning what transpired in the Capitol building, residents admitted they were saddened but ultimately unsurprised given the bicameral legislatures condition in recent years. It had reportedly begun to display symptoms of deterioration, not just moving slower, but exhibiting decreased problem-solving skills, poor judgment, and an inability to complete routine tasks.