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[Hunter S.]

My election day topic is complete. If you guys have a consensus title?

Obamanation

 

[MasterShotgun]

Nate Silver vs the World

Haha. This has my vote.

 

[Paches]

Nate Silver vs the World

I support this title!

 

[Officerrob]

I posted pictures in the sandy thread. If you experience something like me, your viewpoint will change.

However my point stands: Us non-college educated workers are lazy and spoiled in general. That's exactly why we are losing jobs to China.

Yep, it has absolutely nothing to do with the Chinese doing the same job for peanuts

 

[SouthernDragon]

Nate Silver vs the World

I second this motion.

 

[Amir0x]

Edit... ok I'll use that one ^

 

[TacticalFox88]

Damn, that fanfic was amazing. Hahahaha

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

Willard stepped out of the shower and turned to the mirror. Two years of campaigning had taken its toll on his body and mind. The last three months alone had aged him more than the past three decades. But it was worth it. America needed a leader, a true leader, and no other wealthy white man was better suited than him.

He splashed a handful of cold water on his face and smiled. That charming, beautiful, pearly-white smile. The smile that drove all of those frumpy Ohio housewives and closeted queers mad.

"I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve of this glisten. Heh heh, you charming sunofagun."

A screech from the bedroom spoiled the moment.

"Mitt!" yelled his wife. "Come quick!"
....
Willard smiled.

I think I love you.

 

[CHEEZMO™]

Nate Silver vs the World

This.

 

[Trurl]

THat title is unfair to Sam Wang.

 

[HylianTom]

Mr Bertram.. I tip my hat to thee. Jolly good!

And Nate Silver vs the World is fantastic. Hell yes!

 

[Link Man]

Bert, you're golden.

 

[ClovingWestbrook]

I posted pictures in the sandy thread. If you experience something like me, your viewpoint will change.

However my point stands: Us non-college educated workers are lazy and spoiled in general. That's exactly why we are losing jobs to China.

I agree whole-heartedly. I mean, it's not like companies are able to pay Chinese workers pennies on the dollar what they pay American workers. Nope. It's definitely that the U.S. workers are lazy and spoiled.

 

[CoffeeJanitor]

Nate Silver vs the World

Vote cast

 

[NihonTiger90]

They see him trollin'

They hatin'

Patrollin'

Tryin' ta catch him pollin' durty

There, tweaked that a bit.

 

[SpeedySwaf]

THat title is unfair to Sam Wang.

No one is shitting on Sam (yet).

 

[TacticalFox88]

I agree whole-heartedly. I mean, it's not like companies are able to pay Chinese workers pennies on the dollar what they pay American workers. Nope. It's definitely that the U.S. workers are lazy and spoiled.

If I didn't know any better I would've thought that post was made by Alphanoid. :/

 

[markatisu]

My in laws in Southwest Iowa who have voted republican for the past 30 years just voted for Obama.

The reason, Ryans Medicare plans LOL

 

[Snaku]

Nate Silver vs the World

Winner, winner, chicken dinner.

My in laws in Southwest Iowa who have voted republican for the past 30 years just voted for Obama.

The reason, Ryans Medicare plans LOL

Boom headshot.

 

[gcubed]

One more clarification post and it will be pure idiocy

 

[BLACKLAC]

Nate Silver vs the World

Perfect.

 

[ViperVisor]

I'm ready to spin the theme song for the thread.



The second time around
Ooh, the second time is so much better, baby
The second time around
And I'll make it better than the first time

You know I really love you
And I paid for my mistakes, yes, I did, girl
The more I try to hide my feelings, baby
This old heart gets in the way
And love won't let me wait

The second time around
Girl, with me it's better than the first time
The second time around
Let's do it one more time, say it again

 

[BertramCooper]

Thanks for the compliments.

I had been dying to write one, and the Romney/Christie story inspired me.

 

[Cloudy]

It should be "Election forecasters vs. the world". I kind of feel bad for Sam Wang, Drew Linzer and others who are even more bullish on Obama lol

 

[Amir0x]

Election Day topic here

thanks for the title guys

 

[Hunter S.]

It should be "Election forecasters vs. the world". I kind of feel bad for Sam Wang, Drew Linzer and others who are even more bullish on Obama lol

The title also implies the world really thinks Romney will win.

 

[apana]

Reuters/Ipsos state polls released

Ohio: 47-46 Obama
Virginia: 48-45 Obama
Florida: 47-47 tie

-1 in Ohio and Fl, no change Va.

no big deal. with a lead of 3, we'd expect a few 1s. The fact that he's had so few is promising. Lead might be closer to 4.

You're probably right but I can't shake this feeling that Ohio is a little more red than people realize. Virginia is probably a little more blue than it is getting credit for, I expect Obama to slightly outperform the aggregate of polls in that state.

 

[gkryhewy]

However my point stands: Us non-college educated workers are lazy and spoiled in general.

Whereas hardworking college educated workers sit around watching the non-college educated workers and writing political fanfic. Got it.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

As a "new" person to Poli-GAF (and sensible Republican) I'm looking forward to the election being over and discussing everything beyond that. Just wanted to let you all know I planned on sticking around, I've heard you guys complain there's not enough Republicans up in here so...

And if you guys want me to meltdown if Obama ends up taking it, I wouldn't plan on it - the real political changes don't happen on election day, and apart from a lot of people out there in my party, I'm not too fussed about an Obama victory (as it plays into a few of my own personal wants, but not as much as a Romney win would)

 

[Amir0x]

As a "new" person to Poli-GAF (and sensible Republican) I'm looking forward to the election being over and discussing everything beyond that. Just wanted to let you all know I planned on sticking around, I've heard you guys complain there's not enough Republicans up in here so...

And if you guys want me to meltdown if Obama ends up taking it, I wouldn't plan on it - the real political changes don't happen on election day, and apart from a lot of people out there in my party, I'm not too fussed about an Obama victory (as it plays into a few of my own personal wants, but not as much as a Romney win would)

thank God. Please stay!

 

[Trurl]

Ouch. :-(

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=43931273&postcount=20

 

[VanMardigan]

Willard stepped out of the shower and turned to the mirror.
Willard smiled.

So where do I donate so you can spend the next 3 months writing a full length novel for this election cycle in this same style? I don't even know how and have no idea where to start, but I want to be your publisher.

 

[SouthernDragon]

As a "new" person to Poli-GAF (and sensible Republican) I'm looking forward to the election being over and discussing everything beyond that. Just wanted to let you all know I planned on sticking around, I've heard you guys complain there's not enough Republicans up in here so...

And if you guys want me to meltdown if Obama ends up taking it, I wouldn't plan on it - the real political changes don't happen on election day, and apart from a lot of people out there in my party, I'm not too fussed about an Obama victory (as it plays into a few of my own personal wants, but not as much as a Romney win would)

You.

I like you.

Stick around.

 

[speculawyer]

Jay Cost seems to think Romney has this in the bag. But his prediction depends on "not taking polls at face value." He seems to have a lot of contempt for the idea of predictive statistical modeling.

http://www.weeklystandard.com/blogs/morning-jay-why-i-think-romney-will-win_660041.html

So his argument is:
1) Polls are bullshit.
2) These parts of the polls that tell me what I want to hear are right.

 

[Hunter S.]

Any Republicans that read this would seemingly already have resigned themselves to a loss. This is nothing, but a demoralizing atmosphere to a life long Republican for sure.

 

[coldfoot]

Whereas hardworking college educated workers sit around watching the non-college educated workers and writing political fanfic. Got it.

When I see Mexican workers build a highway overpass in 3 weeks (in Mexico) and the same task here takes 8 months here, it's obvious who is to blame. Every person deserves a fair shot and free education, but if they are too dumb to graduate from college, they should make significantly less (1/4 for example) than an engineer or a scientist and not $73/hour like an unionized GM assembly line worker.

When you don't incentivize being smart and hard work enough, you are only encouraging lazy and dumb people. Idiocracy at its finest.

 

[Deleted member 47027]

Any Republicans that read this would seemingly already have resigned themselves to a loss. This is nothing, but a demoralizing atmosphere for sure.

Naw. It does suck it's pretty much all left up to Ohio, but it's definitely not over. A lot of Republicans like myself have a lot of faith in the rednecks and hillbillies coming up out of the woodwork who never get polled, etc.

It's REALLY tough to tell what the vocal minority is though, because I feel polls in essence aren't a good enough representation.

 

[AlteredBeast]

As a "new" person to Poli-GAF (and sensible Republican) I'm looking forward to the election being over and discussing everything beyond that. Just wanted to let you all know I planned on sticking around, I've heard you guys complain there's not enough Republicans up in here so...

And if you guys want me to meltdown if Obama ends up taking it, I wouldn't plan on it - the real political changes don't happen on election day, and apart from a lot of people out there in my party, I'm not too fussed about an Obama victory (as it plays into a few of my own personal wants, but not as much as a Romney win would)

Turn back. You are not wanted here.

 

[Trurl]

So his argument is:
1) Polls are bullshit.
2) These parts of the polls that tell me what I want to hear are right.

You forgot that he now understands history and geography and has moved beyond the silly statistics phase so many people go through in their youth.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

Any Republicans that read this would seemingly already have resigned themselves to a loss. This is nothing, but a demoralizing atmosphere to a life long Republican for sure.

Don't parrot radio and Fox News talking points and add to conversation and you'll be fine.

There's a reason people were sad when ToxicAdam self exiled and it was just lulz when Kosmo got nerfed.

Healthy discourse is great--an echo chamber isn't.

 

[Puddles]

As a "new" person to Poli-GAF (and sensible Republican) I'm looking forward to the election being over and discussing everything beyond that. Just wanted to let you all know I planned on sticking around, I've heard you guys complain there's not enough Republicans up in here so...

And if you guys want me to meltdown if Obama ends up taking it, I wouldn't plan on it - the real political changes don't happen on election day, and apart from a lot of people out there in my party, I'm not too fussed about an Obama victory (as it plays into a few of my own personal wants, but not as much as a Romney win would)

What did you think about the debt ceiling crisis last year? Were you disappointed in your party's behavior during that debate?

 

[Hunter S.]

Naw. It does suck it's pretty much all left up to Ohio, but it's definitely not over. A lot of Republicans like myself have a lot of faith in the rednecks and hillbillies coming up out of the woodwork who never get polled, etc.

It's REALLY tough to tell what the vocal minority is though, because I feel polls in essence aren't a good enough representation.

On that note, do you participate in any conservative forum? I can see why it is not too infuriating as issues are not discussed now as much as political drama and polls.

 

[Xeke]

Just got back from canvassing in Pittsburgh. Back out to the trenches tomorrow. Amazing how many people say they love Obama but can't give 2 hours to make some calls or go door to door.

 

[BertramCooper]

So where do I donate so you can spend the next 3 months writing a full length novel for this election cycle in this same style? I don't even know how and have no idea where to start, but I want to be your publisher.

How many fanfics have we had?

We should compile them into a lurid, nonsensical short story collection.

 

[BuggyDClown]

Election day lOTl Stop playing halo and go vote

 

[Hawkian]

I knocked on 54 doors today, and in total the OFA outfit I was working for knocked on almost 3,000. All registered voters. I'm not exaggerating or speaking metaphorically when I say that this operation is being run out of my parents' dining room. But there are tons of volunteers (there was never a time where someone wasn't coming or going) and in general a really enjoyable energy.

Lots of people claimed they went to try to early vote today but the lines were multiple hours long and are taking off work.

Someone from the campaign asked me to help staff the event in Hollywood with Obama tomorrow, pretty psyched for that. There is a dry run tonight I have to go to in a few hours.

The most interesting thing that happened to me was one woman stopping me who wasn't on my list. She was very enthusiastic about Obama and promised to get her friends to vote with her on Tuesday, but what really struck me was this little anecdote she told me: she's Catholic and at the most recent sermon at her church, the priest said, while he didn't explicitly endorse Romney, "If hundreds of thousands of murdered fetuses aren't enough of a reason to go vote, then I can't think of one." She told me she personally didn't support abortion but would never want it to be made illegal and couldn't believe her church would try to motivate people with that one, lone issue. Said she was considering leaving the church.

Faith++

 

[Rocket Scientist]

Because I find your curiosity in our politics – especially the desire to see some legislation pass – very interesting.

It does seem like American politics have some kind of universal appeal. There's more non-US Gaffers who seem passionate so to say, about what's going on in the US.

 

[Hunter S.]

Don't parrot radio and Fox News talking points and add to conversation and you'll be fine.

There's a reason people were sad when ToxicAdam self exiled and it was just lulz when Kosmo got nerfed.

Healthy discourse is great--an echo chamber isn't.

I am not even close to a Republican, lol, I have always been registered as an Indy. It is just a very united mob of liberal hooligans here.

 

[ryutaro's mama]

How many fanfics have we had?

We should compile them into a lurid, nonsensical short story collection.

A series of short stories:

Barry and Hilary
Mitt and Chris
Joe and Mrs. Ryan
Bill and Michelle
Karl and Ann

 

[RustyNails]

Willard stepped out of the shower and turned to the mirror. Two years of campaigning had taken its toll on his body and mind. The last three months alone had aged him more than the past three decades. But it was worth it. America needed a leader, a true leader, and no other wealthy white man was better suited than him.

He splashed a handful of cold water on his face and smiled. That charming, beautiful, pearly-white smile. The smile that drove all of those frumpy Ohio housewives and closeted queers mad.

"I'm Mitt Romney, and I approve of this glisten. Heh heh, you charming sunofagun."

A screech from the bedroom spoiled the moment.

"Mitt!" yelled his wife. "Come quick!"

Willard wrapped a towel around his waist and ran to Ann's side. Her eyes were glued to the television. The authoritative voice of political ace Wolf Blitzer played over a montage of the president with Chris. His Chris.

The president touching Chris' shoulder, offering comfort in the midst of chaos. The president sitting next to Chris in Marine One, giving him a bird's-eye view of the destruction. The president and Chris locked in a warm embrace, letting him know that he would do anything to help.

His Chris. With him.

"This is truly an unprecedented showing of bipartisanship," said Blitzer as CNN's footage came to a merciful end. "One cannot help but wonder what Governor Romney is thinking about this new relationship between the president and one of his closest allies. Next up, is your cat giving you cancer? More after the break."

Willard sat down at the edge of the bed, his eyes red. His wife placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. Willard recoiled.

"It's nothing, Ann," said Willard, turning away, not wanting his wife to see his tears.

"You don't have to hide it from me, Mitt," said Ann. "I know how much he meant to you."

Willard turned to his wife, a look of pure disgust lining his chiseled face-like face.

"You have no idea," he choked. "No fucking idea."

Willard sprinted to the bathroom, his towel falling on the floor behind him. He slammed the door shut, sat on the toilet, and buried his face in his hands.

He remembered the moment where he lost him. Lost Chris. His Chris. And it was all his doing.

It was a warm August evening. Willard's brow was drenched with sweat. It was time for him to make the call; the call he was dreading. His heart pounded as he waited for Chris to answer.

Beep. Beeeeeep. Beeeeeeeeeeep.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Chris. It's Mitt. Mitt Romney."

"No shit? I thought it was some other Mitt," said Chris.

Willard laughed. His Chris had a wonderfully crude sense of humor.

"Oh, you jokester. Listen, I have some news."

"I hope it's what I think it is," said Chris. Willard could sense the anticipation in his voice. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"First of all, I just want you to know how much I value your support. You've been a true friend to me, and I know that we'll always work together for our country's best interests. Having you as a friend..."

"Stop," said Chris.

"What?"

"Stop rambling Mitt. I know what this is, so stop fucking around."

"C'mon, Chris. Just calm down a second."

"Is it the Mexican?"

"The Mexican?"

"The one from Florida. The Mexican."

"Marco? No. I mean, he's actually Cuban, but I mean, I wasn't going to go in that direction, to be honest..."

"Portman? That boring fuck from Ohio? My colon could move more tracking polls than Portman."

"No."

"That redneck Indian? Jeb? Condi? Just spit it the fuck out, Mitt."

"Ryan. It's Paul Ryan."

The receiver went silent. Ominously silent.

"Chris? Chris, are you there?"

"Paul Ryan."

"What?"

"Paul Fucking Ryan. That bird-legged fuck from Minnesota?"

"Wisconsin."

"Same fucking thing."

"Now listen, Chris, I know you're upset, but I really think..."

"Upset?" said Chris, his voice quivering. "What do I have to be upset about? That you showered me with praise and told me how much you loved my take-no-prisoners approach to politics? That you spoiled me with lavish gifts and campaign donations and ham? That you called me baby and told me everything would be alright? What do I have to be upset about?"

"Chris, just let me explain."

"What happened to appealing to moderates? What happened to healing our country through bipartisanship? That Ryan fuck told me he wants to privatize babies, I swear to Christ!"

"Chris, I'm so sorry," said Willard, truthfully. "He's young, he's passionate, and he's from a swing state."

"And he's thin."

"What? No. That had nothing to do with it. How could you accuse me..."

"You told me you love me as I am. 'Every big round Republican pound,' you said."

"Chris, I said a lot of things. We both did."

"You're right. We did. But not anymore. We're done, Mitt. Goodbye."

And it was over.

Willard tried to forget it, and to forget him. Ryan was sharp as a tack and emboldened his base, but he couldn't shake the doubt that Chris, his Chris, could have reshaped the whole election.

And now, at the time when he needed him most, Chris had turned against him. And sided with his adversary.

His Chris, whom he cared for with all of his heart, had chosen people - impoverished, undignified, homeless people - over political loyalty. The betrayal was almost too much to bear.

Almost. But not quite.

The tears stopped. Willard stood up faced himself in the mirror once more.

"You are better than this," he said. "Your people need you. Your church needs you. Your country needs you. And by darn, you're not going to let some silly storm turn everyone against you."

Mitt woke up the next morning, his passion for fiscal reform and conservative values rejuvenated. He grabbed the Wall Street Journal outside his hotel room door. Obama up 5 in Ohio; race dead even said the headline.

Willard smiled.