ACH1LL3US
Member
Guys,
I never post personal things like this on here but.. maybe some of you have experience or know someone that has gone through this. I just need some clear guidance or expertise.
So here goes.
October 1, 2014, some friends and I from work end up a strip club, it is a very high end one in Charlotte. As soon as I walk in I see her... she seriously is a ten guys and I told my buddy standing next to me that she was my dream girl and she called her over. I talk to her for 3 hrs, no dancing or anything. She had just gave birth about a month prior and hadnt worked in over a year. She was just there to make some money.
She ends up asking for my phone number that night. The next day she texts me and asks to comeover at like 11pm to help her with her laptop. I say yes.. she comes over and we just talk and I help her with her laptop.
As the days go by she reaches out to me everyday asks to hang out. I oblige of course. I meet her little son, I meet her mom. Within a week in a half I was literally living at her place. Taking care of her and her son as much as I can, I work full time at in insurance company as a manager and it takes alot of my time up.
So anyway, after a month in the relationship she leaves for the Domincan Republic where she is originally from, she has a condo there and went there for two months. We had an amazing first month. I on my own gave her about $1k before she left because she was giving subtle hints that she didnt have any money and I felt bad for her and the child, as I care very much for them.
Things started going bad when she was in the DR, she was asking me for more money and at the time I didn't have much as I was paying my penalty to leave my apartment lease so I could move in with her when they got back. She just kept raking me over the coals for two months about how I didnt help her etc.
So I after almost two months of her doing this I just flat out said look, " I know I promised to help you out as much as I could but I cant right now, and I did help you before, I gave you money without you asking".... well she exploded at me. Said alot of mean things etc.. the next day she gets on a plane and shows up at my door with all the money I gave her and hands it to me.
I was shocked. I took the money back. Sorry... but I thought it was over with her and it wasn't a couple of bucks. We tried to work things out after that but I felt uneasy because I started to feel that she was with me as a sponsor.. someone to help her financially.
What has been a struggle with me with her is that I am in love with her, she is in love with me, I can tell, she says so. But it is always about her needing money and that in her culture and with the men she has been with in the past always helped out.
She is divorced and also has an ex-fiance. She left to the DR again about a month ago and is gone until the end of April, so another two months away, if anyone is counting that is 6 months dating her and only being around her for 2 months total.
I have to say a couple of importants things here, I will put it in bullet format:
- She got pregnant back in February by me, she had a miscarriage, she never showed proof of pregnancy, never showed one bill from the Doctor as it was an Ecoptic pregnancy and she had to have the remains removed, no proof, no dr name as she refused to give it to me.
- before she left this last time to DR , I was feeling that she was living a double life. I checked her phone and saw multiple wire transfers from a man, it happen to be her ex-fiance, she claims he just does that because he is nice, and she doesnt ask for the money
- She worked in Vegas for 10 yrs as a stripper, at the largest club their in Vegas, I cant recall the name, she claims she was one of the top ones there.
Ok, here is the final chapter. Back in december she said she was going form DR to Miami for a day to get some jewelry that was hers form her girlfriend that she could sell, when checking out her phone I saw a plane ticket from her exfiance to Miami and he had a ticket too to meet her there, I confronted her on it and she said he just wanted to meet in person to finally understand why she cant be with him. She claims nothing happened with them, but you can understand what is going through my mind, she really got pregnant by him not me... she claims he has been fixed for 10 yrs as he is still married and has 3 children.
I didn't treat her nice after knowing these things as my heart was broken, I felt lied to, she underplayed all of htis and kept focusing in on things I did wrong like not getting her breakfast that day when I confronted her and not hepling her financially.
In the end she is still in DR now, she still needs financial help and I haven't given her any. I am still in love with her, I know she is with me too but she really focuses in on the money more than anything because she has no job. She plans to come back to the states and go back to stripping to pay her bills. This doesnt bother me, her job that is. I met her there.
I just dont know what to do, I was cautious to financially support a girlfriend, I feel that I can help out but to take on her finacial responsibilities ( she owees $13k to IRS for taxes, has a million dollar home that is paid off but has to pay property taxes on it, has two cars, two additional condos, one in DR and one in Vegas). I just cant afford to help out with all of that. Its not that I dont want to help out it is just that she asks for fairly large amounts of money.
She just constantly brings up stuff that upsets her with me, like not helping out financially, not treating her like a princess, I moved into her place for a couple of days, moved all of my stuff but the apartment complex was going to fine me $7800 and I thought it was not wise as I was given incorrect information to move out early and the fees given to me previously was incorrect, etc.. It is hard to be positive when the person your with constantly wants to bring up the negative things you have done.
So what say you GAF?
I never post personal things like this on here but.. maybe some of you have experience or know someone that has gone through this. I just need some clear guidance or expertise.
So here goes.
October 1, 2014, some friends and I from work end up a strip club, it is a very high end one in Charlotte. As soon as I walk in I see her... she seriously is a ten guys and I told my buddy standing next to me that she was my dream girl and she called her over. I talk to her for 3 hrs, no dancing or anything. She had just gave birth about a month prior and hadnt worked in over a year. She was just there to make some money.
She ends up asking for my phone number that night. The next day she texts me and asks to comeover at like 11pm to help her with her laptop. I say yes.. she comes over and we just talk and I help her with her laptop.
As the days go by she reaches out to me everyday asks to hang out. I oblige of course. I meet her little son, I meet her mom. Within a week in a half I was literally living at her place. Taking care of her and her son as much as I can, I work full time at in insurance company as a manager and it takes alot of my time up.
So anyway, after a month in the relationship she leaves for the Domincan Republic where she is originally from, she has a condo there and went there for two months. We had an amazing first month. I on my own gave her about $1k before she left because she was giving subtle hints that she didnt have any money and I felt bad for her and the child, as I care very much for them.
Things started going bad when she was in the DR, she was asking me for more money and at the time I didn't have much as I was paying my penalty to leave my apartment lease so I could move in with her when they got back. She just kept raking me over the coals for two months about how I didnt help her etc.
So I after almost two months of her doing this I just flat out said look, " I know I promised to help you out as much as I could but I cant right now, and I did help you before, I gave you money without you asking".... well she exploded at me. Said alot of mean things etc.. the next day she gets on a plane and shows up at my door with all the money I gave her and hands it to me.
I was shocked. I took the money back. Sorry... but I thought it was over with her and it wasn't a couple of bucks. We tried to work things out after that but I felt uneasy because I started to feel that she was with me as a sponsor.. someone to help her financially.
What has been a struggle with me with her is that I am in love with her, she is in love with me, I can tell, she says so. But it is always about her needing money and that in her culture and with the men she has been with in the past always helped out.
She is divorced and also has an ex-fiance. She left to the DR again about a month ago and is gone until the end of April, so another two months away, if anyone is counting that is 6 months dating her and only being around her for 2 months total.
I have to say a couple of importants things here, I will put it in bullet format:
- She got pregnant back in February by me, she had a miscarriage, she never showed proof of pregnancy, never showed one bill from the Doctor as it was an Ecoptic pregnancy and she had to have the remains removed, no proof, no dr name as she refused to give it to me.
- before she left this last time to DR , I was feeling that she was living a double life. I checked her phone and saw multiple wire transfers from a man, it happen to be her ex-fiance, she claims he just does that because he is nice, and she doesnt ask for the money
- She worked in Vegas for 10 yrs as a stripper, at the largest club their in Vegas, I cant recall the name, she claims she was one of the top ones there.
Ok, here is the final chapter. Back in december she said she was going form DR to Miami for a day to get some jewelry that was hers form her girlfriend that she could sell, when checking out her phone I saw a plane ticket from her exfiance to Miami and he had a ticket too to meet her there, I confronted her on it and she said he just wanted to meet in person to finally understand why she cant be with him. She claims nothing happened with them, but you can understand what is going through my mind, she really got pregnant by him not me... she claims he has been fixed for 10 yrs as he is still married and has 3 children.
I didn't treat her nice after knowing these things as my heart was broken, I felt lied to, she underplayed all of htis and kept focusing in on things I did wrong like not getting her breakfast that day when I confronted her and not hepling her financially.
In the end she is still in DR now, she still needs financial help and I haven't given her any. I am still in love with her, I know she is with me too but she really focuses in on the money more than anything because she has no job. She plans to come back to the states and go back to stripping to pay her bills. This doesnt bother me, her job that is. I met her there.
I just dont know what to do, I was cautious to financially support a girlfriend, I feel that I can help out but to take on her finacial responsibilities ( she owees $13k to IRS for taxes, has a million dollar home that is paid off but has to pay property taxes on it, has two cars, two additional condos, one in DR and one in Vegas). I just cant afford to help out with all of that. Its not that I dont want to help out it is just that she asks for fairly large amounts of money.
She just constantly brings up stuff that upsets her with me, like not helping out financially, not treating her like a princess, I moved into her place for a couple of days, moved all of my stuff but the apartment complex was going to fine me $7800 and I thought it was not wise as I was given incorrect information to move out early and the fees given to me previously was incorrect, etc.. It is hard to be positive when the person your with constantly wants to bring up the negative things you have done.
So what say you GAF?
