Thanks for the kind words everyone, it means so much. He's been having swallowing problems for months now. He had a gastroscopy and colonoscopy (they do them together since why not, you're passed out). Anyway the blockage/tumor is so big they couldn't even get the cam down his throat. They could take pics from above and well it's not looking good. Biopsy results aren't in yet but considering my dad is a long time smoker he's about as cynical as you can get about it. Tomorrow they go to the hospital for another gastroscopy with a smaller tube.
He's of the opinion that he wants to basically die still standing and does not want to pay out the ass to prolong his life if it means suffering and taking money away from my mother. I'm just in shock but I support whatever he wants to do. This is the guy who spent 5 years of his life weaning his own mother after her stroke and seeing her deteriorate day after day. He basically does not want to put me or my mother through the same ordeal again. I'm hoping whatever it is, is as benign or least aggressive as it can get so I at least get more time with him. He seems relatively calm about it like "it is what it is." I feel awful for my mom since she has to deal with her best buddy and husband of 27 years time possibly coming up here sooner than she probably imagined. My parents didn't kid themselves that she would outlast him but he's only 59.
At this point it's wait and see. What needs to be done. How much my dad is willing to fork over. I'll stand by him whatever he chooses. He's been such a great dad and I don't want to lose him just yet but that's life.
