Goddammit I'm so tired of not discussing this game with you all. I've been trying to read through the whole thread, but with the holidays and time with the girlfriend and all that the thread is always at least five pages ahead of me. So fuck it, discussion time
I'm just about to enter the sixth dungeon. So far, this game is absolutely breaking my heart
This game is good. At times, it's great. And every so often, it's fucking amazing and reminds me why Nintendo is my favorite company in gaming
I find it near inexcusable then, for all of these lazy stupid-ass decisions that SIGNIFICANTLY tarnish the final product. With one of the most talented development teams in the industry, one of the strongest and (previously) most innovative franchises as a basis, FIVE FUCKING YEARS OF DEVELOPMENT TIME (which is almost unheard of), and with a budget that I'm assuming was way deeper than what 90% of other developers can even dream of, there is absolutely NO excuse for this game to not be universally accepted as one of the most amazing creations in the entire medium.
Amir0x, you have been my favorite poster in this thread, primarily because we had virtually the same expectations going in. I was so convinced that this was going to be the pinnacle of the franchise. Everything shown pre-release, and everything talked about by those crafty Nintendo PR masters (which I can't get too upset at, because they did a damn good job of making the game sound way better than it is, and I'm a PR major so I'm rather impressed), made it seem like this experience would be one of the rarest of treats in entertainment. It seemed like the Zelda team was drawing upon every single element that had made the franchise great for the past 25 years, and combining it all into one masterful creation.
So what in the UNHOLY FUCK went wrong? There are so many downright baffling decisions, I can barely wrap my head around it. It doesn't follow any sort of logic at all.
Let's start with the character that makes Navi look like a sexy, knob-slobbing, big titted dream vixen. This game undeniably has some of the most creative puzzles in the entire series. It is beyond crazy, then, when Fi does something like repeating an objective that the player has JUST been told through another character. Fi alerts you when your hearts are low too. Why was this design philosophy implemented? The only thing I can think of is that Miyamoto and Co. thought that the depleted heart meter at the top of the screen, Link flashing red, and the incessant beeping noise combined to create such a sensory overload that the player didn't notice any of those three painstakingly obvious hints that you are on the verge of death. Therefore, Fi must come to the rescue!
"MASTER, YOU ARE LOW ON HEARTS! AND I AM LOW ON SHUT THE FUCK UP!"
There are some truly innovative challenges in this game, so when the game expects you to figure out some of these outside-the-box puzzles on your own, yet insists on always reiterating the same basic bullshit that a blind 2 year old neanderthal could grasp, I am left scratching my head. Obviously I'm not suggesting they should spoil the harder puzzles (which Fi occassionally does anyway, that whore), I'm merely trying to figure out what was going through the minds of the dev team. "HMM LET'S MAKE THE ENTIRE GAME LIKE ONE HUGE DUNGEON! BUT SHIT, AS PLAYERS TRAVERSE THE LAND SOLVING PUZZLE AFTER PUZZLE AFTER PUZZLE THEY MIGHT NOT REALIZE THEIR HEART METER IS LOW. FI TO THE RESCUE, FUCK YEAH!" [Iwata: laughs]
I don't even want to continue ranting about Fi, because she is such an unholy abortion that it almost makes me wish I was never born (similar to how I feel about the Metallica/Lou Reed album). Considering she was the ONLY other element shown besides Link in that very first piece of concept art so long ago, I expected a hell of a lot more from her. Especially coming off of Midna (did that sound dirty?), who was one of the best sidekick characters in Zelda history. I own and have beaten every game in this series, and I can say pretty conclusively that Fi is my least favorite character in the entire 25 years of the franchises' existence.
And then there is the stupid padding/fetch quest stuff. Truthfully, it hasn't been so bad for my on my first runthrough, but I know it will make replays an absolute chore. Amir0x had it right when he said almost half the game could be cut and the experience would be drastically better. I'd rather have one non-stop 15 hour Zelda orgasm than an experience that continually alters from flaccid to erect like Bob Dole popping viagra, boning his wife, and then doing it all over again. Christ.
What else? Oh yeah. The fucking sidequests. Some of them are neat, sure. But I checked online yesterday to see what the rewards were, and they all amount to useless shit. At least, compared to something as amazing as the Fierce Deity Mask, for example. The rewards are in fact so useless that I will not bother finishing the rest of the sidequests, because why the hell would I? Even something like the magic armor from Twilight Princess would have been a lot more useful in this game, because, unlike Twilight Princess, this game is occasionally challenging. And since the primary reason for collecting bugs is to *GASP!* sell them for rupees, it at least could have made that aspect more relevant if you had a powerful item that ran on rupees as a fuel source. Not that I would truly care about something like magic armor in this game anyway, since it's still way too easy for my tastes
I could go on about my complaints of this game, but I've been drinking (it's only 1 pm on a Sunday, what of it?) and am really itching to get back to the game. Because for all my complaints, I'm still having a blast with it. Some of the best dungeons on the series, the best use of items in who knows how long, amazing soundtrack (most of the time), vibrant and colorful graphics (something that I felt was sorely lacking from Twilight Princess), and a story that apparently gets super badass post dungeon 6 (which is where I'm at)
I will say one last thing though. As a communication major, I am particularly fond of communication theory. And in particular, I reckon a lot of the defending of blatantly terrible mechanics in this game is a result of cognitive dissonance. We've waited for this game for five years. A lot of us, like with Twilight Princess, succumbed to hype that was way too lofty for the product we ended up with. So instead of accepting reality, some people are doing complex mental gymnastics to convince themselves that some of the games problems either aren't very bad or are a matter of "preference". I know entertainment isn't objective by any means, but there has to be at least SOME standard based on reasoned opinion by which to judge games, or else every single game could be both the best and worst thing ever because it would solely come down to a completely neutral, impartial, subjectivity that doesn't place value on good design decisions over bad ones.