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[Monocle]

Kinsey scale.

Fixes every damn problem.

Even the general idea of sexuality being a spectrum rather than a set of binary states makes the whole issue of sexual identity way easier to wrap your head around.

To me, it makes perfect sense to identify as straight or gay if you're mostly attracted to one sex. The labels hold pretty well unless you have a really inconsistent pattern of attractions. That said, confusion can arise when people assume that straight or gay means exclusively attracted to either men or women, no exceptions.

That's why amateur is the best.

But what if I like really fit people and professional production values?

Having a dick up yer butt is nice regardless of whether you're gay or not. You're gonna cum and you're gonna like it.

I mean if it's consensual. If it's not you should call the cops.

Magical post.

 

[Sanjuro]

I would probably make out with Emily Blunt though.

She wouldn't make out with me though.

Just keep edging until tomorrow, breh.

 

[Five]

None of those things are "inherently" anything. They're ideas that people made up.

You can certainly decide that the idea of "straight" refers only to people who are 100% absolute, who have never in any way done or even thought about something that hints at same-sex attraction, but then you have a world with a tiny number of "straight" and "gay" people who pass this purity test and a uselessly huge quantity of "bi" people who have almost nothing in common.

I agree that the number of people who are actually straight or gay is small. That's why it upsets me that the labels are being hidden behind. If those are the safe spaces (especially straight), and a lot of people like me understand them to be absolute, then that just encourages people to hide their true feelings. Someone who calls him or herself straight is going to have to act straight even if they don't completely align with the general perception of that label.

The point of this distinction is that people are identifying as straight because their overall behavior is "straight" -- they're primarily interested in women, they are invested in having a heterosexual relationship for family formation, they don't have any interest in men outside specific boundaries or any desire to participate in queer culture, etc.

Then call them straight-leaning. Or be more specific and accurate, like "primarily interested in women."

 

[akira28]

SMG was such a cutie when she was younger.

 

[Kinyou]

it's just sex, bro.

But sex kind of defines your sexuality... right?

 

[ISWThunder]

Is the relationship with guys a turn-off, or is it disinterest? Some people have the former, but if you have the latter, just getting off because sex is fun works for them. (And it's far easier to find a dude on short notice.)

I don't know. If a really hot girl wanted to have sex but said that another guy would be present. I'd probably do it, so the sight of him wouldn't turn me off. But we'd have to be on opposite ends. Any contact would turn me off.

I've never seen a guy that would turn me on and if I was really horny and couldn't find a girl, masturbation would br the answer. Definitely not fooling around with a guy.

 

[pixelation]

I've never known any straight men who had sex with other men. I think the author is either deeply confused, or has a book she wants to sell

I know dudes, who are not bi-gay or whatever who have had their dicks sucked by other dudes and they brag about it openly.

 

[The Hermit]

Here's a neat diagram that's not limited by hetero/homo. I'm sure it's not in anyway complete, but more comprehensive than most. I personally identify as gynephilic.

WTF

And I though I was liberal.

 

[freenudemacusers]

But sex kind of defines your sexuality... right?

sex no, sex-sex yes

 

[chronic_archaic]

I see straight guys who want to experiment all the time. I remember camming once with a dude who had a wife, but always "liked" cocks. I don't know, but it seems to be you're bi, not straight, if you want the d that bad

 

[Monocle]

Here's a neat diagram that's not limited by hetero/homo. I'm sure it's not in anyway complete, but more comprehensive than most. I personally identify as gynephilic.

Human sexuality is a gay butterfly.

 

[Winter John]

I know dudes, who are not bi-gay or whatever who have had their dicks sucked by other dudes and they brag about it openly.

Well, if they're engaging in sex with other men I'd say there's a pretty good chance they're homosexuals

 

[Vicetrailia]

You often hear about straight men having sex with other men for money, or doing porn. Hell you hear about desperate men looking for a mouth at a gloryhole. Sexually a male or female can be any combination they want. Been this way through documentation in the classic days.

 

[Kinyou]

sex no, sex-sex yes

Oh, of course did I mean sex and not sex

 

[YoungHav]

Why is her book focused on White Men?

 

[freenudemacusers]

Why is her book focused on White Men?

don't worry, her next book is gonna be about tupac and dmx.

and an epilogue about erick sermon.

 

[JinjoUnchained]

But what if I like really fit people and professional production values?

Such is the nature of life, give up one thing to get another. Professional looks better and as such makes you feel more like you're there. But amateur (real amateur, not "pro-am") actually portrays what it would be like if you were really doing it.

So do you want a realistic simulation of a much less appealing situation, or a poorer simulation of a much more appealing event? I think the answer has wider implications than this specific topic.

 

[Karl_Dilkington7]

Human sexuality is a gay butterfly.

Hey! It's my avatar background!

 

[YoungHav]

don't worry, her next book is gonna be about tupac and dmx.

lmao. "The thugs showed a young brotha loooooove!"

 

[Idontknow]

But sex kind of defines your sexuality... right?

Nope. Sexual orientation is only determined by sexual attraction; sexual behavior has absolutely nothing to do with it. If having sex with someone determined someone's sexual orientation, than a virgin couldn't have a sexual orientation. But, they do. Unless, they are asexual, a virgin is sexual attracted to either males or females.

 

[ChawlieTheFair]

A straight guy is completely unwilling to do it, a Bi guy has a price.

The whole point of the price is that you don't want to do it unless you get paid. Do you want to go to work? No but you get paid for it.

Why is her book focused on White Men?

Cause there are no gay black people.

 

[okno]

Gay sex among the straight athletes in my high school was very common and not at all a secret.

Only two of them ever came out as gay, and most of the others are now married and have kids.

I kind of doubt they are all secret homos. Just because you didn't do it doesn't mean it isn't happening all around you.

 

[Sheroking]

Well, we have asexuals and pansexuals, bisexuals, heterosexuals, homosexuals and transgenders who can fit in with ANY of those other labels.

I think it's probably safe to assume we have people who don't need attraction for sex. They simply do not have the "repulsion" for same sex encounters that other men/women do, and once your passed that, is there a real reason NOT to do it?

Like, low level bisexuality. Not finding men or sex with men particularly appealing, but willing to do it anyway because an orgasm is an orgasm.

 

[Skellig Gra]

I know dudes, who are not bi-gay or whatever who have had their dicks sucked by other dudes and they brag about it openly.

Uh they are at the very least bi.

 

[Kinyou]

Nope. Sexual orientation is only determined by sexual attraction; sexual behavior has absolutely nothing to do with it. If having sex with someone determined someone's sexual orientation, than a virgin couldn't have a sexual orientation. But, they do. Unless, they are asexual, a virgin is sexual attracted to either males or females.

Good point

 

[bill0527]

A straight guy friend I used to know offered to suck my dick once.

True story.

He wasn't straight.

He was bi-curious.

Had he actually sucked your dick, he would then be bi-sexual.

Craigslist definitions. Not mine.

 

[rtcn63]

Why is her book focused on White Men?

Because Law & Order SVU already did that one episode about weekend poker games as a front for peeps on the down low.

 

[ThusZarathustra]

But sex kind of defines your sexuality... right?

Nope. Sexuality is a complex thing and is mostly about mental and psychological identity. For instance I "m happy to flirt a bit with anyone who's interested in me, man or woman, but if it's a man it's very different. There's a clear line, and some self-identifying gay men get that immediately and others never do. I've actually had some problems with this where I just feel like I'm testing how well-constructed the other guy's personality is and he thinks I'm into him beyond just a bit of verbal back and forth.

I'd love to get into a more deeply nuanced discussion of sexuality and the nature of gender roles, but I'm not sure the board is mature enough to handle it at that sort of theoretical level. For myself, it's about finding where I differ from the other, basically. Men are too much like me to be truly attractive on a physically intimate level, or even at a deeply emotional or psychological one. I'm not against homosexuality for myself in theory, but in practice gay men just aren't feminine enough, both physically and mentally. They don't fill the gap in my own sense of self, y'know?

There's a much more nuanced psychological discussion to be had here touching on narcissism, how individual identity is formed, social and historical context and more but all evidence points to folks just wanting to run with simple labels rather than more detailed descriptions, so yeah, no wonder there's no much weird bullshit surrounding it all.

 

[Alchemy]

Gay sex among the straight athletes in my high school was very common and not at all a secret.

Only two of them ever came out as gay, and most of the others are now married and have kids.

I kind of doubt they are all secret homos. Just because you didn't do it doesn't mean it isn't happening all around you.

Probably not "secret homos", but just bisexual and homosexual male relationships are highly stigmatized by society so they're unlikely to admit to anything, to publicly act on it, and will likely perpetuate society's negative attitude towards gay men.

 

[Five]

Gay sex among the straight athletes in my high school was very common and not at all a secret.

Only two of them ever came out as gay, and most of the others are now married and have kids.

I kind of doubt they are all secret homos. Just because you didn't do it doesn't mean it isn't happening all around you.

Just because they're leading heterosexual lives now doesn't mean they were never bi- or homosexual. People change.

 

[kirblar]

I don't know. If a really hot girl wanted to have sex but said that another guy would be present. I'd probably do it, so the sight of him wouldn't turn me off. But we'd have to be on opposite ends. Any contact would turn me off.

I've never seen a guy that would turn me on and if I was really horny and couldn't find a girl, masturbation would br the answer. Definitely not fooling around with a guy.

Yeah, that's the trick- the contact isn't a turn-off to these sorts of guys, so they can get off with a buddy or a stranger and it's no biggie to them.

It's focusing on white guys because other ethnic groups have different cultures surrounding this stuff.

 

[Captain Europe]

I've never known any straight men who had sex with other men. I think the author is either deeply confused, or has a book she wants to sell

You expect everyone to tell you everything?

We live in a world where homosexuality is seen as inferior to heterosexuality, and people don't want to lose their status as straight, especially men. It's the one drop rule when it comes to men, you have one experimental night and you're gay for life. So people likely won't tell you about it.

 

[biggersmaller]

Why are all of these bi people so intent on being labeled straight? I mean, people are free to identify however they want...but getting head from a guy is one of the least straight things I can imagine. Why fight the bi label?

 

[Gun Animal]

Everyone's bi and sexuality is a broad spectrum but our culture likes to boil things down into dichotomies.

Having a dick up yer butt is nice regardless of whether you're gay or not. You're gonna cum and you're gonna like it.

I mean if it's consensual. If it's not you should call the cops.

i agree with this post tbh.

 

[pixelation]

great, now I can't just enjoy sucking a random dick without everyone assuming I'm straight.

It's ok, i won't tell no one.

 

[pixelation]

Well, if they're engaging in sex with other men I'd say there's a pretty good chance they're homosexuals

Uh they are at the very least bi.

Eh, i think they were doing it more in a Alpha Male sorta way, like a dominance thing... i really don't think they're bi-gay or anything like that, but i may be wrong.

 

[E92 M3]

I dream of a world were adults can have sex with each other and not have to explain why they're doing it.

 

[Replicant]

Nope. Sexual orientation is only determined by sexual attraction; sexual behavior has absolutely nothing to do with it. If having sex with someone determined someone's sexual orientation, than a virgin couldn't have a sexual orientation. But, they do. Unless, they are asexual, a virgin is sexual attracted to either males or females.

This actually makes sense.

 

[Africanus]

I don't find this particularly hard to believe. It's recorded in numerous West African societies that men would not uncommonly have sex with each other before settling down with a wife. Given the statistics for bisexuality, I don't believe all or even the majority of those who participated were homosexual or bisexual.

Why, even in Europe you have the well recorded Greeks, who would partake in sexual relations even in marriage with men, without all of them being bisexual or homosexual.

Don't take this as me saying that it is a frequent occurrence now, I believe cultural as well as biological directions shape sexuality, and both are subject to change over time. But for certain people to rapidly dismiss this as "new age progressive thinking" are acting unwisely.

 

[ultratruman]

It's not gay if your balls aren't touching.

 

[charlequin]

But what if I like really fit people and professional production values?

It's kind of funny to me how porn-star-home-life videos (like, adult performers having sex with their real life partners in their house) have started to be a thing to square this circle.

I know dudes, who are not bi-gay or whatever who have had their dicks sucked by other dudes and they brag about it openly.

One of the other funny things about this is how much subculture variance there is in terms of what people consider to cross the line. There are plenty of guys who consider themselves straight even though they jerked off together at boy scout camp. Frat guys who play creepy frat sex games might consider sex gay but not see any problem with eating another guy's jizz as long as it's on a cracker. Some guys might think there's nothing gay about two guys having sex with women in the same cramped spring break hotel room, or with running a train. It's not that uncommon for people to think that butt stuff is always gay but getting a BJ is neutral since it's just a mouth. The defensive can't-be-straight-if-you-ever-saw-a-dick-in-a-porn-video level of distinction is actually pretty rare!

I agree that the number of people who are actually straight or gay is small. That's why it upsets me that the labels are being hidden behind.

It's totally legitimate to be mad about bi erasure and stigmatization but refusing to accept people's identification because you feel like it's unfair for them to have "cover" or whatever isn't a good look.

 

[nullset2]

Let's be realistic: I think it's safe to assume that a vast majority of modern men are either bicurious or bisexual, as much as women are, even if they identify as straight, yet they are way less willing to accept or act on it because, for males, sexual behavior is a power dynamic, and their sexual history will make the other men around him judge him or start acting a certain way towards him (kind of like a totem sort of mentality). Anyone with shower room or office experience can probably attest to this (my work mates are in a constant flow of consciousness full with homosexual innuendo and jokes --you know, all joking, supposedly, but I mean, come on, doing that kind of thing is exactly the way you flirt with women).

It's too bad, no? Because well, in the end, who really fucking cares XD. Just do what brings you pleasure with whoever is willing to go the way, just don't fuck over people and have fun.

 

[charlequin]

Yeah, that's the trick- the contact isn't a turn-off to these sorts of guys, so they can get off with a buddy or a stranger and it's no biggie to them.

This brings to mind the Margaret Cho bit: "Am I gay? Am I straight? And I realized ... I'm just slutty."

Why are all of these bi people so intent on being labeled straight?

Think about this for, like, literally two seconds.

 

[Condom]

Let's be realistic: I think it's safe to assume that a vast majority of modern men are either bicurious or bisexual, as much as women are, even if they identify as straight, yet they are way less willing to accept or act on it because, for males, sexual behavior is a power dynamic, and their sexual history will make the other men around him judge him or start acting a certain way towards him (kind of like a totem sort of mentality). Anyone with shower room or office experience can probably attest to this (my work mates are in a constant flow of consciousness full with homosexual innuendo and jokes --you know, all joking, supposedly, but I mean, come on, doing that kind of thing is exactly the way you flirt with women).

It's too bad, no? Because well, in the end, who really fucking cares XD. Just do what brings you pleasure with whoever is willing to go the way, just don't fuck over people and have fun.

What? Which kind of homosexual innuendo or jokes?

 

[Currygan]

ah, it's one of those articles trying to break the boundaries and sayin that "labels" are meaningless

 

[Captain Europe]

ah, it's one of those articles trying to break the boundaries and sayin that "labels" are meaningless

Not meaningless, but oftenly used in a dumb way.

 

[Izuna]

Nah...

The idea that there is no "completely straight" I find to be a little offensive.

Heterosexuals could develop anything as a fetish, even to like other males. But it's not the same as being bisexual or homosexual.

Lust != love among other things.

 

[charlequin]

What? Which kind of homosexual innuendo or jokes?

The kind that make up like 42% of the dialogue in any given episode of The League, basically.

 

[Aselith]

As a straight man, I never had sex with another man. And as far as I know, no one of my straight friends had any experience like that.

Yeah as far as you know...but when you leave the oils come out and it is the last days of sodom in there.

 

[Jobbs]

I'm sure I'll be viewed as having a simplistic view, but there's no chance of me having homosexual sex. I just have no interest in it.

Anyone who is interested in it is either bisexual or gay. No amount of people saying "everyone is bi" is going to make me attracted to men. I'm just not.