Not's 5th Post (sigh):
OP, When I asked if you guys had conversed about this kind of thing before, I meant before the whole incident you made a thread about started. Like, what's your history of cheating, feelings on sex and relationships and monogamy, fetishes, that kind of thing. Openness to me is super important-- otherwise people have to hide around and do stuff like this. If you're constantly confessing the shit you to do all the time, it might hurt your SO's feelings on a daily basis, but it won't be the whomper out of nowhere that makes you want to pack and leave.
I guess I'll try to stick around and respond after all, if you want to OP. Feels wrong to bail now that I think about it, but I didn't want to add to the overwhelming slurry of ideas and experiences and love and vitriol that GAF is pouring on you.