You've made a huge change to the comparison here, starting with comparing a "good" college essay to a "typical" game review. An average *junior* college essay is not submitting "a paper to academia" (are you envisioning a peer reviewed paper?), it's someone who does not give a shit about the elective course, living by the mantra "Cs get degrees". The guidelines tend to be "basic human communication" and most professors don't hold the barrier very high. The poster who made the comparison was right on, it really does read like one of those (I chose school newspaper, but the idea is the same). You want to say there are forum posts and Steam reviews better than most/all game reviews? I totally agree! But what does that have to do with Engadget's review? The gap is even larger in that case! It's complete drek that makes the average game review look great by comparison.
Anyway, I hate the fact I'm defending game reviewers (went as far as to delete half of the above paragraph to get away from it) and I'm not seeing much value in continuing this conversation. I don't know what the hell you got from this review and what you can say about it other than "it's an opinion and I value opinions!" The only thing I have left to say is that rather than some artful subversion of the professional videogame review, it's actually everything that's bad about them and probably should be studied as such. I might compile my favorite lines, for that matter.