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[Femto.]

I'm pretty good at the "don't date your coworkers" rule, but fuck does it suck sometimes.

I'm a couple of months in my internship and there is this pretty woman who I worked with in the first week of my employment and now I only see her in our monthly staff meetings. We had a staff meeting today and we both had an hour break after the meeting before we were due to be back in.

We had a cup of coffee and chatted. She kept saying things throughout our convo like "I wish you were on my team, because I thought you were going to be." While I kept thinking "I wish we weren't coworkers so I can ask you out."

Just a small rant.

 

[Mediking]

When you overhear two of your friends flirt in the library.....

...and one of them happens to walk past you and see you....

....talk to you while blushing like crazy.....

.... and goes back to flirting with the friend...

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I would but all my friends are kind of scattered in different places, and I'm still working on making some concrete friends where I am now lol

That's understandable. I would look into clubs and activities to meet peoole. It's fun and you know you share something in common.

I've been trying to get out of the house more lately, but for some reason I don't like reaching out to people so I just do stuff alone. Which is better than sitting at home alone, but still gets depressing. I have one person in my city I'd consider a good friend, and a couple acquaintances but I worry I'll bother them if I try to get them to do something. Plus I'm not sure our interests are that similar, they're good people to have a beer with though.

There is no harm in reaching across the table. Just shoot a message to em asking to like see a movie or do some low effort thing. You would be surprised. Some people are way more available to hang if you reach out.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

When you overhear two of your friends flirt in the library.....

...and one of them happens to walk past you and see you....

....talk to you while blushing like crazy.....

.... and goes back to flirting with the friend...

Okay? Be happy for your friends, as they apparently like each other, rather than passively act jealous about someone whom you didn't have feelings for anyway.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Okay? Be happy for your friends, as they apparently like each other, rather than passively act jealous about someone whom you didn't have feelings for anyway.

I dunno. He can be internally jealous all he wants. As long as you aren't outwardly acting like an asshole as far as I'm concerned feel away brother, feel away lol.

 

[Spaced Harrier]

I'm pretty good at the "don't date your coworkers" rule, but fuck does it suck sometimes.

I'm a couple of months in my internship and there is this pretty woman who I worked with in the first week of my employment and now I only see her in our monthly staff meetings. We had a staff meeting today and we both had an hour break after the meeting before we were due to be back in.

We had a cup of coffee and chatted. She kept saying things throughout our convo like "I wish you were on my team, because I thought you were going to be." While I kept thinking "I wish we weren't coworkers so I can ask you out."

Just a small rant.

Dude, ask her out.

 

[Ogodei]

My longer* messages have pretty consistently been getting girls to view my profile in response, i just don't get as many replies.

*(long is more than one sentence, i don't write multiple paragraphs, and they should stick to one point that draws out something from the profile and makes an interesting conversation or establishes common ground).

Photos continue to be a problem. I still think i should get professionals done. Now that i've crossed over to the premium side, i've discovered that all of my likes are from overweight girls. But i don't think i'm messaging out of my league, so to speak, unless the men always have to punch down online to get consistent results or something. Is that the case?

 

[Leeness]

Can I join Leeness on the friendship train?

The girl I was dating for about a month, we just had a conversation and she doesn't want to move further, romantically. We are on good terms, one month isn't enough for any feelings to get hurt. I appreciated her being upfront. I thought she was ghosting and kinda sensed she wasn't super interested, so I saw this coming.

Surprisingly, I genuinely don't mind. I'm actually kind of excited about having a platonic girl friend. I only have guy friends, and I interact with their SOs, but I don't really have any female friends of my own. We have similar interests, so even if nothing physical is happening, she's good company. And she might have single friends, it's not like it's a bad thing to extend my social circle a bit.

So, Leeness, finally, I get you. Tbh, I still wouldn't mind a no-strings-attached fwb arrangement, but I'm already seeing another girl for that.

👍👍👍

Only way to go. Lose the FWB too, and you're golden!

 

[animax]

That just seems too short, zero thought put into it...I don't fucking get this

Look at it this way - the *entire* point of the first text in online dating is to see if she might be interested or not. That's all. If she's interested she'll respond if not she won't.

You could send a text with a single letter "A" and she would still probably respond if interested enough. But don't do that - make it short and ask a single question which prompts a response.

Once she responds then you get into more meaningful conversation

 

[Mediking]

Okay? Be happy for your friends, as they apparently like each other, rather than passively act jealous about someone whom you didn't have feelings for anyway.

Lol I hope I didn't sound jealous. It was just kinda awkward to overhear friends flirting.

I'm pretty good at the "don't date your coworkers" rule, but fuck does it suck sometimes.

I'm a couple of months in my internship and there is this pretty woman who I worked with in the first week of my employment and now I only see her in our monthly staff meetings. We had a staff meeting today and we both had an hour break after the meeting before we were due to be back in.

We had a cup of coffee and chatted. She kept saying things throughout our convo like "I wish you were on my team, because I thought you were going to be." While I kept thinking "I wish we weren't coworkers so I can ask you out."

Just a small rant.

Unless you feel REAL chemistry...

 

[TheOfficeMut]

I'm pretty good at the "don't date your coworkers" rule, but fuck does it suck sometimes.

I'm a couple of months in my internship and there is this pretty woman who I worked with in the first week of my employment and now I only see her in our monthly staff meetings. We had a staff meeting today and we both had an hour break after the meeting before we were due to be back in.

We had a cup of coffee and chatted. She kept saying things throughout our convo like "I wish you were on my team, because I thought you were going to be." While I kept thinking "I wish we weren't coworkers so I can ask you out."

Just a small rant.

Ask her why she wishes she was on your team if you haven't already: "Oh? Why's that?"

Also: "Hey, what do you normally do after work? Do you ever want to grab some coffee or something to eat?"

 

[Ogodei]

In my mind "works in another department" is the only loophole under which coworker dating is allowed. I think that's minimum safe distance, though you still have to be wary.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

For everyone who is wondering what to say to get a response my friend just got a girl to respond to his message which was "What is your third favourite reptile".

You aint gotta say anything deep fam lol.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

In my mind "works in another department" is the only loophole under which coworker dating is allowed. I think that's minimum safe distance, though you still have to be wary.

Not that everyone's experience can be as good as the one I had, but at my previous job I managed to mess around with 3 women in an office of 25 people. Never had an issue. That's certainly not very common, however.

 

[Mediking]

Not that everyone's experience can be as good as the one I had, but at my previous job I managed to mess around with 3 women in an office of 25 people. Never had an issue. That's certainly not very common, however.

?! You are a rarity.

 

[TheOfficeMut]

?! You are a rarity.

Well, it was a weird relationship with these coworkers... lol

I messed around with 3 of them and went all the way with one, but the office was mostly women, and we developed such an odd friendship that when we went out we sometimes found ourselves getting drunk and daring each other to kiss the other person. So eventually most of us ended up making out with one another.

But I don't advocate or suggest trying to develop that type of relationship with your coworkers. That shit is not common and can go south REAL fast. lol

And wow, I was a hoe.

 

[Femto.]

Dude, ask her out.

It's my first professional job and it's a paid internship. Don't really want to risk it if things go way south.

Unless you feel REAL chemistry...

Too little to go off of for me to tell.

Ask her why she wishes she was on your team if you haven't already: "Oh? Why's that?"

Also: "Hey, what do you normally do after work? Do you ever want to grab some coffee or something to eat?"

I did ask what she does outside of work, but not very much other than spend time with her sister or some coworkers. Work takes so much of her time that she hardly goes out and what not. She's over the bar scene so there goes the option for asking her out for drinks.

I even asked if she would be going to this month's social for work but she says she wasn't sure. Probably won't be another month till I talk to her, only form of contact I have with her is our iMessage emails that we use on our company tablets. But asking someone out isn't what that is meant for lol

 

[Miles Quaritch]

For everyone who is wondering what to say to get a response my friend just got a girl to respond to his message which was "What is your third favourite reptile".

You aint gotta say anything deep fam lol.

Yeah, say something unique and funny. Sending shit like 'hey' or 'how's your day' is a waste of time. You're just another message in a sea of other guys saying the same boring shit.

 

[Living the Dream]

Look at it this way - the *entire* point of the first text in online dating is to see if she might be interested or not. That's all. If she's interested she'll respond if not she won't.

You could send a text with a single letter "A" and she would still probably respond if interested enough. But don't do that - make it short and ask a single question which prompts a response.

Once she responds then you get into more meaningful conversation

This is very helpful. Thank you!

 

[names2hard4you]

here's two recent examples...

Oooph man, this is too much. You are coming off waaay too strong. A girl will see that and instantly move on to the next guy.

Apply the Twitter rule: 140 characters. Sometimes an image, or a GIF.

 

[Moose Biscuits]

Apply the Twitter rule: 140 characters. Sometimes an image, or a GIF.

I thought the Twitter rule was anime avatars and casual racism

 

[Dr Duncan Steel]

Debating whether or not to call the girl I've been kinda seeing after finding out she called in sick due to abdominal pain. Just a light casual, "how you doing?" thing. Don't know if it comes off as nice or rather clingy. She recently got back from out of town and we've been keeping contact through Snapchat and some other meaningless social media dregs but idk man.

 

[ZackieChan]

For everyone who is wondering what to say to get a response my friend just got a girl to respond to his message which was "What is your third favourite reptile".

You aint gotta say anything deep fam lol.

Yeah, say something unique and funny. Sending shit like 'hey' or 'how's your day' is a waste of time. You're just another message in a sea of other guys saying the same boring shit.

I have a message that I copy and paste to everyone.

Hi 😊 I'm Zack. What's your name? (If their name isn't in their profile)
[Ask them out for a coffee in the local language]
Add my [local popular messaging app]. My ID is [my ID for local popular messaging app].

I get a decent amount of replies. But I have cute dogs in my profile photo.

I really don't think it matters, as long as your photos are good enough.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I have a message that I copy and paste to everyone.

Hi 😊 I'm Zack. What's your name? (If their name isn't in their profile)
[Ask them out for a coffee in the local language]
Add my [local popular messaging app]. My ID is [my ID for local popular messaging app].

I get a decent amount of replies. But I have cute dogs in my profile photo.

I really don't think it matters, as long as your photos are good enough.

That projects confidence, so it's not surprising you get decent replies. And it's different enough to the standard hey or you're cute messages I imagine most women get.

 

[Living the Dream]

I have a message that I copy and paste to everyone.

Hi 😊 I'm Zack. What's your name? (If their name isn't in their profile)
[Ask them out for a coffee in the local language]
Add my [local popular messaging app]. My ID is [my ID for local popular messaging app].

I get a decent amount of replies. But I have cute dogs in my profile photo.

I really don't think it matters, as long as your photos are good enough.

Interesting

 

[Peltz]

That just seems too short, zero thought put into it...I don't fucking get this

Honestly, that's as long as I'd make it too.

I sometimes just say hi.

 

[Ogodei]

My old roommate gave me advice to play it like a numbers game, build a default message (as Zack said), and go. But he was also, frankly, both gorgeous and built, so there's a bit of a problem there.

What are the options for a guy who's a cat person, has a dad bod (but is not fat by any means, i weigh in the mid 150s), and doesn't like to take pictures of himself and therefore has a slim portfolio? (it's not that i don't like to do interesting stuff, i just never feel the need to document it. For instance, there are no photos of me at the Women's March, though i took many photos and even a video or two. Always feel annoyed when people i'm with pause the excursion for a group photo op).

Edit: Now that i mention marches, the Science March is coming up later this month. Just have to make sure i get one of the folks i march with to take a picture this time. That would be a start.

 

[Jokab]

My old roommate gave me advice to play it like a numbers game, build a default message (as Zack said), and go. But he was also, frankly, both gorgeous and built, so there's a bit of a problem there.

What are the options for a guy who's a cat person, has a dad bod (but is not fat by any means, i weigh in the mid 150s), and doesn't like to take pictures of himself and therefore has a slim portfolio? (it's not that i don't like to do interesting stuff, i just never feel the need to document it. For instance, there are no photos of me at the Women's March, though i took many photos and even a video or two. Always feel annoyed when people i'm with pause the excursion for a group photo op).

Edit: Now that i mention marches, the Science March is coming up later this month. Just have to make sure i get one of the folks i march with to take a picture this time. That would be a start.

Pretty sure Zackie's dad bod is a huge hit with the ladies. For the photos, just ask a friend to take pictures of all these interesting things you do.

 

[ZackieChan]

That projects confidence, so it's not surprising you get decent replies. And it's different enough to the standard hey or you're cute messages I imagine most women get.

True. There's a happy medium, I think.

Interesting

I'm also a white guy in Asia right now, so the deck is stacked in my favor

My old roommate gave me advice to play it like a numbers game, build a default message (as Zack said), and go. But he was also, frankly, both gorgeous and built, so there's a bit of a problem there.

What are the options for a guy who's a cat person, has a dad bod (but is not fat by any means, i weigh in the mid 150s), and doesn't like to take pictures of himself and therefore has a slim portfolio? (it's not that i don't like to do interesting stuff, i just never feel the need to document it. For instance, there are no photos of me at the Women's March, though i took many photos and even a video or two. Always feel annoyed when people i'm with pause the excursion for a group photo op).

It's hard being this gorgeous and built, I'll tell you.

Also, stop being annoyed by photos and embrace it. I love how everyone always pushes back against the simplest advice that actually works, just because it's not something they want to do. You think I liked taking selfies and photos while doing stuff? I hate how I look. But dumb ass shit like my avatar photo and pics of me with dogs and climbing the Great Wall are a great tool for getting dates and keeping girls interested. I send these dumb selfies and they send back "so cute" replies and other nonsense.

Obviously you need to know your audience, but first you need to get over yourself and realize that what you're currently doing isn't working, obviously, and you need to change up your game. Not speaking just to you - there's been a few posters in the last day that are complaining about no dates/matches, but when given basic advice that's probably in the damn OP, they push back like they're a special flower. You're not! I'm not. The game is the game.

Take great photos of you looking good or doing something awesome/cute.
Send confident, short messages that pique interest.
Be fucking awesome, and others will notice.

 

[Ogodei]

My resentment's more founded in regret that i don't have photos of the cool stuff i did now when i really need them. It takes time to build this back up.

 

[Zeyphersan]

I have a message that I copy and paste to everyone.

Hi 😊 I'm Zack. What's your name? (If their name isn't in their profile)
[Ask them out for a coffee in the local language]
Add my [local popular messaging app]. My ID is [my ID for local popular messaging app].

I get a decent amount of replies. But I have cute dogs in my profile photo.

I really don't think it matters, as long as your photos are good enough.

Honestly, if I got a message like that I would assume it was a bot

 

[Darknight]

So question, you have to pay to chat on G2G? How do you deal with it? Just put your handle in your profile somewhere so ppl can chat back to you?

 

[Ogodei]

So question, you have to pay to chat on G2G? How do you deal with it? Just put your handle in your profile somewhere so ppl can chat back to you?

I've heard Geek2Geek is pure spam and bots now, with site ownership looking to scam you into paying by any means they can contrive.

 

[LucidMomentum]

My resentment's more founded in regret that i don't have photos of the cool stuff i did now when i really need them. It takes time to build this back up.

I'm willing to bet you have a friend or two who has an interest in photography and would be happy to help you take some head / body shots if you paid them in some form or another.

 

[brawly]

I'm pretty good at the "don't date your coworkers" rule, but fuck does it suck sometimes.

I'm a couple of months in my internship and there is this pretty woman who I worked with in the first week of my employment and now I only see her in our monthly staff meetings. We had a staff meeting today and we both had an hour break after the meeting before we were due to be back in.

We had a cup of coffee and chatted. She kept saying things throughout our convo like "I wish you were on my team, because I thought you were going to be." While I kept thinking "I wish we weren't coworkers so I can ask you out."

Just a small rant.

You see her once a month? I wouldn't even consider that a co-worker.

 

[Darknight]

I've heard Geek2Geek is pure spam and bots now, with site ownership looking to scam you into paying by any means they can contrive.

I see. Gonna have to ignore it then.

For your entertainment: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gw-ID3eMcEw

I love this story!

 

[Peltz]

My old roommate gave me advice to play it like a numbers game, build a default message (as Zack said), and go. But he was also, frankly, both gorgeous and built, so there's a bit of a problem there.

What are the options for a guy who's a cat person, has a dad bod (but is not fat by any means, i weigh in the mid 150s), and doesn't like to take pictures of himself and therefore has a slim portfolio? (it's not that i don't like to do interesting stuff, i just never feel the need to document it. For instance, there are no photos of me at the Women's March, though i took many photos and even a video or two. Always feel annoyed when people i'm with pause the excursion for a group photo op).

You don't need a whole lot of pictures. Just 3-4 or so. Here's a safe guide:

1. Go somewhere scenic, have a friend photograph you alone in front of the scenery.
2. Play a sport or action-style activity (zip lining, jumping on a trampoline, riding a go-kart... anything really) have a friend photograph you in action.
3. Be in one group photo with 2-3 family members or friends at dinner or something.
4. Have one photo of you doing something you love like a hobby - video game convention, playing chess... whatever. Something that's very you (whatever that may be).

Boom, you're done. Your profile can be built in a weekend. Chances are, you have most of these photos already. Just make sure there are no selfies or repeat things. It should just illustrate some level of diversity in your life.

As far as the first message is concerned, honestly, it doesn't matter. 9 times out of 10 just keep it simple unless you're feeling particularly witty. If she wants to talk to you she will, but if you try to hard or overthink it, it's only going to work against you. Be comfortable with not getting a response because it will happen about half the time and there's nothing you can do about it. It's definitely a numbers thing.

I don't respond to about 90% of the women who message me. And I don't get a response from about 50% of the women I message. And of those that I do converse with, only a very small portion of those conversations turn into dates. And only a small portion of those turn into second dates and so on.

Realistically, go into it only expecting to have a significant interaction with, at most, 5% of the total people you swipe with. To expect more than that is unrealistic for most people.

 

[Milly Osworth]

You don't need a whole lot of pictures. Just 3-4 or so. Here's a safe guide:

1. Go somewhere scenic, have a friend photograph you alone in front of the scenery.
2. Play a sport or action-style activity (zip lining, jumping on a trampoline, riding a go-kart... anything really) have a friend photograph you in action.
3. Be in one group photo with 2-3 family members or friends at dinner or something.
4. Have one photo of you doing something you love like a hobby - video game convention, playing chess... whatever. Something that's very you (whatever that may be).

Boom, you're done. Your profile can be built in a weekend. Chances are, you have most of these photos already. Just make sure there are no selfies or repeat things. It should just illustrate some level of diversity in your life.

As far as the first message is concerned, honestly, it doesn't matter. 9 times out of 10 just keep it simple unless you're feeling particularly witty. If she wants to talk to you she will, but if you try to hard or overthink it, it's only going to work against you. Be comfortable with not getting a response because it will happen about half the time and there's nothing you can do about it. It's definitely a numbers thing.

I don't respond to about 90% of the women who message me. And I don't get a response from about 50% of the women I message. And of those that I do converse with, only a very small portion of those conversations turn into dates. And only a small portion of those turn into second dates and so on.

Realistically, go into it only expecting to have a significant interaction with, at most, 5% of the total people you swipe with. To expect more than that is unrealistic for most people.

Make sure to wear the same clothes in all those photos.

 

[ZackieChan]

Honestly, if I got a message like that I would assume it was a bot

I'm not hot enough to be a bot

 

[Leeness]

The problem with the form message is you'd better be sure who you're messaging.

It happens a decent amount, but I've gotten the same "form" message from guys who I guess forgot they messaged me, and then send it again.

It's somewhat frequent. (Also, for some reason, this guy slightly changed the second message, so...uhhhh. Really not sure what he was thinking.)

 

[vern]

I was wondering how busty are you.

Incredible.

 

[Leeness]

I was wondering how busty are you.

Incredible.

That too. Maybe if you're going to send a form message repeatedly, don't ask for the girl's bra size along with it. 🙄

 

[Salamando]

That too. Maybe if you're going to send a form message repeatedly, don't ask for the girl's bra size along with it. 🙄

Would it help if I Disney-fied it? "On a scale of Mulan to Ariel, how busty are you?"

 

[Astral]

Would it help if I Disney-fied it? "On a scale of Mulan to Ariel, how busty are you?"

Is Ariel canonically the most busty?

 

[Leeness]

Would it help if I Disney-fied it? "On a scale of Mulan to Ariel, how busty are you?"

Trick question

Spoiler

Neither of them

 

[Salamando]

Is Ariel canonically the most busty?

She does have C cups (get it?, 'sea' cups?)

Spoiler

I'm totally going to hell

I don't know if there is a busty-Disney cannon. I hope there isn't. I just know one was able to bind themselves convincingly enough to appear male in an army, and the other had a guy fall in love with her while being unable to talk...

 

[ZackieChan]

I was wondering how busty are you.

Incredible.

I've got titties for days

 

[Leeness]

Anyway, that's my form message advice: don't message the same girl twice in the same week lol. Or same month, I think, because even if you don't see both, she will.

 

[Femto.]

You see her once a month? I wouldn't even consider that a co-worker.

I thought of this way at first in order to justify breaking that rule, but I wasn't too sure lol

 

[names2hard4you]

The problem with the form message is you'd better be sure who you're messaging.

It happens a decent amount, but I've gotten the same "form" message from guys who I guess forgot they messaged me, and then send it again.

It's somewhat frequent. (Also, for some reason, this guy slightly changed the second message, so...uhhhh. Really not sure what he was thinking.)

This man is a legend 😂 I cringed hard.