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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Gotdatmoney
Member
Yup that's the one.
I dont own it but those DC deck buiding games are fun if your friends like comic hero/villain stuff. I dont really like comics but I dunno, if you game you probably arent averse to it so it still is fun.
It's what's known as a hidden roles game. Every player is either a Liberal or a Fascist, and one of the Fascists is Hitler. Liberals are clueless and don't know who anyone is. Hitler doesn't know who is allies are either. But the Fascists know who the other fascists are, and most importantly who Hitler is. Liberals try to figure out who they can trust so they can stop Hitler's rise, Fascists try to sow discord.
I find it lots of fun, but it works best with larger groups (7-10). More people = more chaos!
Betrayal at House on the Hill and 7 Wonders might be worth looking at too.
D
Deleted member 10571
Unconfirmed Member
I deleted myself on like 3 dating sites today. I'd rather know I'm not even on there then to check every now and then and getting nothing out of it anyway geez. Left only Tinder for now 'cause it's at least kinda fun, even when getting no matches at all. I'm really not made for online dating heh.
If I meet someone I will, if not I won't.
.
If I meet someone I will, if not I won't.
Probably won't lol
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
What kind of social activities to meet others would people recommend if you like videogames but not board games?
I've played enough board games in my life to know that the fewer board games I play for the rest of my life, the better.
I've played enough board games in my life to know that the fewer board games I play for the rest of my life, the better.
Please let me know if you find out, I'm in the same situation and all the geeky meetups in town are just board games all day errday. I like the occasional board or card game, but the eight hour shit those people like to play drive me up a wall :|
I've tried going to video game things but I've found those cliquish to the point where I can't actually play any video games, lol. I just want to meet some nerds, darnit!
Miles Quaritch
Member
Fantastic, thanks for the recommends. I'm trying to get some gaming nights going and have it be a mix of videogames and board games, keep things fresh and interesting for everyone.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Tbh, other than board games or multiplayer videogames, do nerds do anything social? I guess LARPing or DnD. Not sure what you would want to do with nerds gathered in one place. And it must be unbearable as a woman. I've been some cons and gatherings, it's harrasment hell for single ladies.
LucidMomentum
Member
Tournaments are how I do it, but they can be insular to a large extent. Sometimes people don't even play other games outside the one the tournament is meant for.
Also the tournament scenes skew highly in the male dominated range. To the point where most women get scared off by people making it weird when they try to enter.
However, arcade meetups / weekend evenings at my favorite arcades in LA have been a great way to meet some people. Everyone bonds over watching each other get better at DDR!
I don't know lol. But honestly, it's less unfortunate than some of the other messages I've gotten that were about my boobs, so...eh.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
Honestly, this is the thing: as a nerd, what I want to do is stay in and play videogames. I don't like board games or tabletop games or D&D or any of that shit because they don't provide the same dopamine rush that videogames do. I don't want to roll dice, I want to pilot a giant robot and fire missiles at stuff.
And I think this is the thing​ that conflicts with the classical advice of 'do hobbies, hobbies let you meet with other people and get to know them'. Because a lot of hobbies traditionally would do this, but with gaming that doesn't happen. (even less nowadays since split screen gaming died a death)
I know this isn't friendship-age, but sweet christmas do I need to vent about this. That board game, Secret Hitler, is poised to split my board gaming group in two. Quote this to see the rest of it...warning, it's pretty fucked up.
Quote to reveal
So damn bizarre. The group met right off a college campus, which made it great for meeting women. Gained three platonic female friends and two now-ex's from there.
Quote to reveal
So damn bizarre. The group met right off a college campus, which made it great for meeting women. Gained three platonic female friends and two now-ex's from there.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
See?! Board & card games are literally the worst things ever invented. That situation sucks man, if I were you I'd probably try to find a group of less crazy friends.
Count Dookkake
Member
*facepalm*
Puns aside, as soon as I found out some people had issue with it, I apologized for bringing it and promised to leave it at home. There's still a shit storm, because apparently a few people (notably the guy and his girlfriend) think his actions towards me were justified.
My current thoughts are "wow, ya'll are crazy, I'll be happy not knowing you, and I'm not engaging with this (Mall) Madness"
That was the only board game pun I could work in.
Incendiary
Banned
I don't do too badly when I actually put effort in. Most women who are poly are amazed when a guy talks to them and understands what poly actually means and doesn't think they're just down for kinky shit from message one. You are right though in that I rarely meet any single poly girls on dating websites - usually they already have long-term boyfriends and/or husbands.
Ahhh, yes, the good old poly = kinky trope. That's why I don't advertise most of the time about my preferences because people take it to extremes. I'm actually really mellow about sex stuffs - it's just I don't get jealous about the sex stuffs and don't care about multiple partners as long as everyone's being safe and stuff. Eh.
Yeah, this is what I'm having the most trouble trying to communicate. Like I don't want to say we're in an "open relationship" because that comes with the connotation that we aren't committed that strongly to each other, which we are. But if I say poly outright people start thinking I'm in a weird Mormon cult or something. Bleh. It's not that hard to understand if you just...think about it for a second or two.
I never realized just how much board games centered around my nerdy social activities until every time I hung out with my friends, board games ended up breaking out. Like dudes, chill, we can just hang out - we don't need to bust out a game every time more than three of us are in the same place.
That being said...yeah, it's pretty hard to meet up in a nerdy social situation outside of like conventions and the like. There are geeky movie nights and weekly showings of Doctor Who episodes near me, but those aren't really conducive to meeting people as it's kind of "come and watch with the friends you already have" sorta thing.
TWrecks310
Banned
So I want to ask out this girl I sit next to in my community college sociology class. She is very pretty, seems nice whenever I or anyone else talks to her, and will laugh at the jokes I say (not in a "I obviously like you kind of way" though). She is out of my league to be honest, but appears to be pretty quiet / shy so it's possible I have a chance here lol. It's possible she's just like that only in this class but I figure I gotta shoot my shot here regardless. Anyways...
I don't really know how to ask a girl out in this situation. The obvious nightmare scenario here is I ask her, she says no, and it's really awkward for the rest of the year. I'm in the mindset right now where I don't know if I should wait until later in the semester to ask her so there is less potential awkward classes if she says no and a hopefully better chance she will like me (I'm working out and doing other kinds of self improvement) but that also means I might wait too long and blow my shot.
If anyone has any experience with situations like this or any advice I would appreciate it a ton. I have tickets to a Chance the Rapper show in early June and want to take a date so I got a deadline here to find someone lol (and no I imagine I would not be taking someone on a first date to a concert).
I'll also add here that I'm 20 and don't have a lot of experience dating girls, if that wasn't obvious already.
I don't really know how to ask a girl out in this situation. The obvious nightmare scenario here is I ask her, she says no, and it's really awkward for the rest of the year. I'm in the mindset right now where I don't know if I should wait until later in the semester to ask her so there is less potential awkward classes if she says no and a hopefully better chance she will like me (I'm working out and doing other kinds of self improvement) but that also means I might wait too long and blow my shot.
If anyone has any experience with situations like this or any advice I would appreciate it a ton. I have tickets to a Chance the Rapper show in early June and want to take a date so I got a deadline here to find someone lol (and no I imagine I would not be taking someone on a first date to a concert).
I'll also add here that I'm 20 and don't have a lot of experience dating girls, if that wasn't obvious already.
LucidMomentum
Member
Just ask her out. Why would it be awkward? If she says no you can find someone else.
Best case you have a date and someone to potentially take to this concert. Worst case nothing changes and you're still classmates.
Fuck if you can't find anyone, I'll go with ya. So there. No worries. Go ask her out.
TWrecks310
Banned
I'm not really worried about asking her out beyond the general worries that come from stuff like that, I just have to sit next to her the rest of the semester and don't want to deal with that awkward tension that I imagine would come. I'm assuming it would be awkward, I've never asked out any girls I sat next to, and I don't think I have for any girls in my class at the time at all. There's a good chance I'm just inflating how awkward it would be and I'm just in my own head with this.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yes, it's in your head. Do you know how many times she's going to be asked out by guys this semester? A lot. Just ask her out, you're no worse off if she says no.
SirJackDaniels
Member
Its in your head. Play it cool like:
Hey! This concert is coming to town. You are pretty cool, ur up for it?
If she says no for whatever reason: ok no problem.
Just continue random conversation.
Dont make it a long story. Like hey one these band is here on blablabla and i was thinking do you want to join me.
TWrecks310
Banned
I see your unsourced claims made to motivate me and I want to let you know I appreciate that lol.
I promise you guys that I'll ask her out, it may or may not be next class (Thursday), but I 100% promise you all that I will ask her.
Wish me luck! Hopefully I'll remember to report back with what happens.
Hey, hold on now I didn't say I would ask her to the concert for the first date. Those tickets were like $300 and I at least want to make sure I will like the girl I'm going with. When I ask her out I'm just gonna be like "hey I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out sometime?" and work out the details from there and go out to dinner or some other first date type of thing.
Unless you guys think I should ask her to the concert for the first date?
an update to my previous post. http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=233244628&postcount=9379
So this girl I went on a date with on Sunday is being extremely flirtatious like alluding to sexual advances via texts messages. I feel like shes messing around but I'm not sure really. I've never been in a situation like this before where someone talks like that. We're going out for dinner tomorrow and and shes coming over after that but idk whats going to happen.
....
Also I just got back from my class and I'm disapointed with how I handled "asking out" the girl in my class. We only talk after class when walking to our cars but tonight she was talking with someone else and I decided not to intrude. I somehow got lucky that she parked next to me and we were able to chat for a bit but by then I internally felt like I missed my chance lol. I decided instead to ask her if she wanted to study together which she agreed to and gave me her number so I don't know what to do now. I seriously felt like every animu MC with how I handled this. ugghhhh
So this girl I went on a date with on Sunday is being extremely flirtatious like alluding to sexual advances via texts messages. I feel like shes messing around but I'm not sure really. I've never been in a situation like this before where someone talks like that. We're going out for dinner tomorrow and and shes coming over after that but idk whats going to happen.
....
Also I just got back from my class and I'm disapointed with how I handled "asking out" the girl in my class. We only talk after class when walking to our cars but tonight she was talking with someone else and I decided not to intrude. I somehow got lucky that she parked next to me and we were able to chat for a bit but by then I internally felt like I missed my chance lol. I decided instead to ask her if she wanted to study together which she agreed to and gave me her number so I don't know what to do now. I seriously felt like every animu MC with how I handled this. ugghhhh
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
So a girl's flirting with you and probably wants to have sex with you. Clearly you know what's going to happen, because I just told you. As far as the other girl, you didn't ask her out. You cowardly asked her to study, which is something friends ask other friends, and then alluded to fucking anime. (Which, thankfully, you realized. So, kudos for that.)
Do not study with her. Do not be her friend unless you want to be her friend. Don't text her. You can talk to her in person and ask her to grab a drink.
always crazy bacon
Banned
I agree, not the concert it's too expensive for a 1st date.
When you ask her out you must be confident and specific not "hey I was wondering if maybe you wanted to go out sometime?" but "I'd like to take you out on a date for (specific activity) on (Specific time and day). If you are vague, she could be vague too with a "yeah, maybe" answer and then you don't know where you are.
I've been pretty lucky on the harrassment front (as in, it hasn't happened), but I don't do DnD or cons (the latter because fuck crowds)
And I dunno. Talk about shit, watch cool movies and TV or something? Having friends that align with my hobbies a little more would be cool, though obviously it's not really something I need at the end of the day. That's what the internet is for!
I tried getting into the Smash scene once, but... I find most fighting game communities don't really like... casual players? Even with my favorite series (which isn't smash) I don't feel a need to git gud, so generally that's frowned upon lol. Also yeah I've heard a few too many horror stories at fighting community meetups.
A DDR meetup sounds like a blast, though! If I had the equipment, I'd definitely try to set that up, lol.
It really, really isn't, but I see most people jump to the same kneejerk reaction regardless:
For a man: "Omg I don't believe you, you just want to cheat on your girlfriend!"
For a woman: [message one] "So let's fuck"
It's so friggin stupid.
TWrecks310
Banned
Got it, this is good advice thank you
LucidMomentum
Member
Don't forget to ask her how busty she is!
I only texted her so far to verify that I got her number. This class is bullshit and I was serious about studying, but yea I see what your saying. I'll probably study with her and keep it focused on the work unless she wants to talk about other things. Thanks for your input.
TWrecks310
Banned
If this is a reference to a GAF post someone made I need a link ASAP.
Hilariously bad dating and relationship threads are the best threads.
LucidMomentum
Member
http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=233307373&postcount=9491
There's nothing saying you can turn a study meetup into an opportunity to go out for a drink after or ask her out, but like I mentioned to another poster just don't make it awkward if she turns you down.
I think that's 90% of the reason people don't ask people out is they think it'd be weird if they get turned down. It's not weird unless you both make it weird.
This was me a year ago. I've worked out like crazy since then so I'm gonna give it another try soon.
But yeah, take a break if it fucks with your self confidence.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Good suggestion, take a break from online dating and try to meet people in real life for a bit.
A few days ago I was getting lunch and I overheard this tall and really lanky employee talking to his coworker how there was some girl he really wanted to talk to and that she was sitting "right there" and stuff. He was kinda freaking out how he was about to get off work and still hadn't thought of what to say. After I got my food I decided to sit near the girl so that I can eavesdrop if he managed to talk to her, and he did. She was studying so he went up to her and said something about the subject she was reading about and if she liked the class, etc. Pretty inspirational stuff.
That awkward moment when a girl you're chatting to very nearly sends you something explicit meant for another guy she's about to fuck...
I'm also chatting to about 10 others so we'll see what happens.
Not too bad! I've been out with 4 different girls since I've started dating again and I'm seeing 2 of them again. With one date tonight and the other tomorrow.
I'm also chatting to about 10 others so we'll see what happens.
I really need to cut that number down...
Miles Quaritch
Member
Yeah, I'm going to rethink the whole games night. Jesus Christ.
BOOOOOO!
always crazy bacon
Banned
I should've clarified.
She sent me a message saying "I've got a free house tonight" and then sent me a panicked message 10 mins later asking what she sent me since one of the messages was for her "friend" and "quite personal".
She's away at her parents this week so it wasn't directed at me.
We have a date arranged for Tuesday, but truthfully I'm treading incredibly carefully. She sounds quite nuts...
always crazy bacon
Banned
Ultramantaro1
Member
Ultramantaro1
Member
Yeah. Like, if the roles were reversed and you sent her a text about being DTF meant for another girl, how would she react ? I don't think many girls would accept that.
My personal trainer is setting me up on a date with one of her clients. Says she's very interested in getting coffee with me. No idea where this'll head, but it'll be fun.
Hey, don't blame the games! One may have started this, but it's a few core "friends" asshole-ness that got it to where it is.
Hey, don't blame the games! One may have started this, but it's a few core "friends" asshole-ness that got it to where it is.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'd go on the date. If she's super crazy, just bail.
She can bang whoever she wants so long as you're not in a relationship. She was probably excited to see that 'friend' and when she realised she fucked up, went into non-thinking panic mode. The asking you what she sent instead to checking the chat kinda supports that.
She can bang whoever she wants so long as you're not in a relationship. She was probably excited to see that 'friend' and when she realised she fucked up, went into non-thinking panic mode. The asking you what she sent instead to checking the chat kinda supports that.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Good luck my dude!
I'm jus flashbacks to a very heated game of connect 4 in uni and I could really do without that shit.
Now you're wondering how a game of C4 got heated...There were some bottled up issues that erupted when someone was on the verge of losing and no, it wasn't me, you cheeky asses.
DJ Lushious
Member
I started seeing a woman, who I have been absolutely having a blast with. I've never laughed so hard for so long with someone. And this is every time we are together.
...but she has two children from two failed marriages. Granted, infidelity was the reason for the marriages crumbling (both guys cheated excessively). One child is an adult and married and the other is 6.
Having never considered a real relationship with someone that has kids*, I'm a bit at a crossroads. The children/marriage is a level of baggage that is going to completely change the dynamic of the relationship in ways I'm not in favor of. No sleepovers, no impromptu dates, always being linked to the ex, and forever being second-fiddle.
I just don't know, GAF. I just don't know... I'm going to see how this plays out and give it a legit try, but these are all things that are running in the back of my mind.
* I've fooled around with someone that had a kid, but it was a very intense physical relationship that was never going to proceed beyond that.
...but she has two children from two failed marriages. Granted, infidelity was the reason for the marriages crumbling (both guys cheated excessively). One child is an adult and married and the other is 6.
Having never considered a real relationship with someone that has kids*, I'm a bit at a crossroads. The children/marriage is a level of baggage that is going to completely change the dynamic of the relationship in ways I'm not in favor of. No sleepovers, no impromptu dates, always being linked to the ex, and forever being second-fiddle.
I just don't know, GAF. I just don't know... I'm going to see how this plays out and give it a legit try, but these are all things that are running in the back of my mind.
* I've fooled around with someone that had a kid, but it was a very intense physical relationship that was never going to proceed beyond that.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I have to disagree. Brother is going on a date. He isn't making her a wife. Who cares? Go on the date, have fun then evaluate from there. It's not like he has trouble getting dates. He has zero reasom to put huge stock in it as opposed to just having fun.
The problem isn't that she's lining up other guys - when you're single/not in a relationship, that's what you do, you play the field, see different people, etc., and that's all good, normal, and expected.
Its the part where she texts the wrong guy that bothers me. I feel like that says a lot about her respect level for him. When I was in my Tinder days, I was talking to multiple women at the same time, going on dates with some, hooking up with some, but I never, mistakenly or not, mixed up the girls or sent a hookup message which I then had to embarrassingly retract because it was intended for another girl. I know dating around is fun and not super serious, but have some respect for people. It takes 0.5 seconds to verify who you're texting before hitting send.
See other topic where I screwed up forever for full backstory.
Basically I'm on dating hiatus right now. Browsed POF the other night just seeing who's out there. There are a couple new people I would message, but I'm not going to for now. Going to take a few weeks to myself.
Playing Persona 5 for the foreseeable future, plus trying to lose some weight, plus visiting my family the weekend after this one.
Also, my confidence level is still low from all that and I can't confidently say that if new girl messaged me I wouldn't try to still be with her. I have a real issue with connections with people. I don't burn bridges when I should, and sometimes I burn bridges that I shouldn't.
Hoping that if I DO meet someone great again:
1) I'm not hung up on anyone I met previously.
2) I don't get too attached to quickly.
3) She's ready for a relationship.
Basically I'm on dating hiatus right now. Browsed POF the other night just seeing who's out there. There are a couple new people I would message, but I'm not going to for now. Going to take a few weeks to myself.
Playing Persona 5 for the foreseeable future, plus trying to lose some weight, plus visiting my family the weekend after this one.
Also, my confidence level is still low from all that and I can't confidently say that if new girl messaged me I wouldn't try to still be with her. I have a real issue with connections with people. I don't burn bridges when I should, and sometimes I burn bridges that I shouldn't.
Hoping that if I DO meet someone great again:
1) I'm not hung up on anyone I met previously.
2) I don't get too attached to quickly.
3) She's ready for a relationship.
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