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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
I've been off the dating app scene for 2 years, but I don't recall using a form message. I'd often just say something random and it usually worked. Sometimes Id say something snarky about something in their profile. Like one girl would have a picture wearing a certain sports team's logo, so I'd trash that team in my opener. That kind of stuff.
I met my girlfriend off of Tinder. Her profile was sparse as fuck. She only had like 3 photos and they frankly all sucked. One was blurry, one was clearly old, and one you could barely see her in. But from the little I could see I thought she was attractive. I said "you look like you could be cute. It's a shame you don't have better pics". It was far from my best opener but we still laugh at it.
I met my girlfriend off of Tinder. Her profile was sparse as fuck. She only had like 3 photos and they frankly all sucked. One was blurry, one was clearly old, and one you could barely see her in. But from the little I could see I thought she was attractive. I said "you look like you could be cute. It's a shame you don't have better pics". It was far from my best opener but we still laugh at it.
LucidMomentum
Member
I thought my intro messages were bad whew.
One of my favorites that worked was "Hey that's a dope jacket. Is it made of girlfriend material?
"
We didn't have all that much in common sadly, but she was cute and it made her laugh.
One of my favorites that worked was "Hey that's a dope jacket. Is it made of girlfriend material?
"We didn't have all that much in common sadly, but she was cute and it made her laugh.
First one is GAF rule. Twitter is full on racism tho, not just the casual shit.
God Twitter is a shithole, yet I visit it all the time
EDIT: I'd post something more substantial but I'm watching those Denko videos and I'm getting some serious deja vu
always crazy bacon
Banned
Some people just want to look at car wrecks, make sure they don't get into one themselves.
names2hard4you
Member
Done. Write your cheques, close the thread and let's go home.
thesoapster
Member
Some pretty nice melons in your avatar. Work boners are uncool, right?
Krauser Kat
Member
RE: the convo about what to message first.
Last night i stopped giving fucks and sent out a bunch of super simple messages to see what responses i would get and almost everyone replied. this was the best convo though.
If a girl is into you, text whatever you want. also, be attractive, dont be unattractive.
Last night i stopped giving fucks and sent out a bunch of super simple messages to see what responses i would get and almost everyone replied. this was the best convo though.
If a girl is into you, text whatever you want. also, be attractive, dont be unattractive.
Milly Osworth
Member
Ehh what is your point?
Ultramantaro1
Member
Curious, what do you look like? I have to imagine this only works if you're really hot. PM a pic if you don't want to go public. Or don't lol, I'll just take your word for it.
I've had success being a little forward on tinder, but never something so upfront. Like the thread that was up a few weeks ago, it's only creepy if you're not hot. Brad Pitt rule and all.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
Yeah, if you're attractive you can do basically whatever.
Meanwhile us goblins have to cultivate interesting personalities and all that shit. That's fair though, since I'm not into other goblins for the same reasons.
Meanwhile us goblins have to cultivate interesting personalities and all that shit. That's fair though, since I'm not into other goblins for the same reasons.
I would think that's not a problem. If they don't reply to it the first time then you can't really lose anything by accidentally sending it again.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Unless you've been dealt a really bad hand genetically, you can do many little things to improve your straight up sexiness. I used to be really skinny (6'1 and 150lbs). I gained about 40lbs in the last 3 years thanks to good eating and the gym and the difference in attention is night and day. I still have the same silly face and crooked teeth, but broad shoulders and thick forearms are all you need. We forget sometimes that girls are just as shallow as we are.
Improve what you can (usually fitness, grooming and fashion) and don't obsess over what you can't control that make you insecure (height, ethnicity, dick size etc..)
Gym won't help if you're ugly, and being lean is better than being fat. You probably just think you're getting more attention, men can be very delusional. Also you're tall so you can compensate with your height.
Spaced Harrier
Member
Your gym will help with confidence and that's half the battle mate.
Ultramantaro1
Member
Oh my, you sound salty as hell bro. I'm lean, jacked and living good, dont worry about me.
Count Dookkake
Member
You sound delusional.
Good man. Nothing worse than a fat and/or ugly person who pines away for hotties, while asking "Why are people so shallow?"
always crazy bacon
Banned
Maybe, but feeling good about yourself and confidence is probably what he's projecting, more than the looks. It's working, but not for the reason you think it might be.
Not sure if someone remembers what I wrote here http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?p=232902027&highlight=#post232902027 but here's some sort of messed up update:
Yesterday I meet one of my friends, he want on holiday the day before I went out for that date/not-date with this girl and he wanted to know how things went. At some point he's like "I'm not sure if I should tell you this but I got a weird message from **".
He shows me the text message, it was in italian ( she speaks italian but poorly ) he didn't know what it meant so he translated it and sent it back to her, and she replies with "sorry this wasn't meant for you please don't tell anyone about it". Italian is my first language, the message talks about an abortion and how the choice was made because it was logical, and at the end of the message it says "we can meet and talk about it". This message was sent the same day I went out with her.
Problem is I couldn't understand whether she was talking about herself or about someone else because the message was written in a poor italian. So now I'm more confused than before. Here is all I know:
She was seeing 2 italian guys not at the same time.
That message was in italian.
I was texting with her few days ago and tells me she went to the doctor to get checked because she had some hormonal issues.
I've known her for about 3 months as well and in this time I didn't notice anything weird other than one time when she came back from a trip to france and was sick on the way here but could mean nothing.
What should I do? I like this girl but don't know how to feel about this, maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know the full story, not sure if I should ask directly to her. Nothing seemed weird when we out too we actually had a lot of fun. I was wondering whether I should just check with her best friend, or just talk with her when she comes back in 2 weeks.
Yesterday I meet one of my friends, he want on holiday the day before I went out for that date/not-date with this girl and he wanted to know how things went. At some point he's like "I'm not sure if I should tell you this but I got a weird message from **".
He shows me the text message, it was in italian ( she speaks italian but poorly ) he didn't know what it meant so he translated it and sent it back to her, and she replies with "sorry this wasn't meant for you please don't tell anyone about it". Italian is my first language, the message talks about an abortion and how the choice was made because it was logical, and at the end of the message it says "we can meet and talk about it". This message was sent the same day I went out with her.
Problem is I couldn't understand whether she was talking about herself or about someone else because the message was written in a poor italian. So now I'm more confused than before. Here is all I know:
She was seeing 2 italian guys not at the same time.
That message was in italian.
I was texting with her few days ago and tells me she went to the doctor to get checked because she had some hormonal issues.
I've known her for about 3 months as well and in this time I didn't notice anything weird other than one time when she came back from a trip to france and was sick on the way here but could mean nothing.
What should I do? I like this girl but don't know how to feel about this, maybe I'm overreacting. I don't know the full story, not sure if I should ask directly to her. Nothing seemed weird when we out too we actually had a lot of fun. I was wondering whether I should just check with her best friend, or just talk with her when she comes back in 2 weeks.
Count Dookkake
Member
Would you prefer to date a pregnant girl?
Ultramantaro1
Member
Yeah, I'm not dumb. I'm sure the girls that like me now would still have liked me when I was a skinny twig. Difference is that back then, I probably would have second-guessed myself at every turn. Now, I look good and feel good when I walk around. And quantifiably, I'm getting more tinder matches since uploading newer pics.
Even if the girl aren't noticing my body, they're noticing my confidence. Same difference.
ZackieChan
Member
You sound like you've got it all figured out, man.
I bet you have terrible photos. Probably had nothing to do with your actual attractiveness.
She's definitely not pregnant.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Yes, I remember. This girl now sounds like she makes troubles and drama. Forget her, find a new girl otherwise you'll be brought into the drama of this 1st girl and the other Italian men.
Count Dookkake
Member
Project much? I'm guessing you don't get matches because of that ugly self esteem, not because of your physical looks.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
Oh, don't worry, I do that too.
No, it's because I'm fat (not """dadbod""", fat) and have zero chin. If I shave properly it's hard to tell where face ends and neck begins.
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you are ugly and unfit, the least you can do for yourself is be ugly and fit. If your ugly you better put in work on the tsngible things you can change. You want the world to change for you? Not gon happen so you better put in work. There are good looking guys also working out, what the fuck is everyone elses excuse? If you cant pull women you better do work on yourself.
And I trust brotha man saying he is getting more attention over you.
There is nothing that pisses me off more than people who wont do work but complain about lack of success. People out here doing everything and then some to find success and they still aimt winning. Why the fuck should anyone feel sorry for you when you aint even trying?
LucidMomentum
Member
Like real talk, I know I'm not that attractive at the moment. I'm working on it.
I see old photos and wish I had the confidence I have now with the bod I had back then, instead of vice versa back in the day.
But yeah, one of the easiest things to "work" on is not being super cynical and pessimistic and trying to put yourself out there more.
Attractiveness can be from more than just looks, and I found once I stopped really being too self conscious and just talking to and asking people out my odds improved dramatically.
I still get turned down for being overweight and a little bit under 6 feet tall but eh, it'll happen. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but no need to get broken up about it.
I see old photos and wish I had the confidence I have now with the bod I had back then, instead of vice versa back in the day.
But yeah, one of the easiest things to "work" on is not being super cynical and pessimistic and trying to put yourself out there more.
Attractiveness can be from more than just looks, and I found once I stopped really being too self conscious and just talking to and asking people out my odds improved dramatically.
I still get turned down for being overweight and a little bit under 6 feet tall but eh, it'll happen. I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea but no need to get broken up about it.
Incendiary
Banned
So the Dating OT7 thread title has to be a variant on How Busty Are You, right?
On a completely unrelated note - does anybody in this thread have any experience with poly dating? I've been seeing someone for almost five months now and we're both poly, and we've already established all the ground rules. But honestly I'm finding it so hard to get the motivation to "date" again. I also don't know how to approach it in real life - on websites it's super easy to just be up front about it but if I meet people I'm interested in just at random places I don't know the threshold of when to say "btw I have a gf but it's ok because..." Especially since general society is kind of skeptical of the whole thing.
On a completely unrelated note - does anybody in this thread have any experience with poly dating? I've been seeing someone for almost five months now and we're both poly, and we've already established all the ground rules. But honestly I'm finding it so hard to get the motivation to "date" again. I also don't know how to approach it in real life - on websites it's super easy to just be up front about it but if I meet people I'm interested in just at random places I don't know the threshold of when to say "btw I have a gf but it's ok because..." Especially since general society is kind of skeptical of the whole thing.
Gotdatmoney
Member
People need to realize that how you project yourself "is" important. It's not fucking bullshit when peoole tell you confidence is attractive and works.
For example, you go to a job interview the number one thing you have to avoid is self depreciating comments. They factually hurt your chances. People who boast, who show confidence do better in interviews. They get more opportunities and more chances.
No one wants to fuck with a negative ass person who doesnt exude positivity. Why the fuck would anyone want that? Confidence isn't just some lying ass bullshit. It's real and observable in all aspects of life, dating absolutely included.
For example, you go to a job interview the number one thing you have to avoid is self depreciating comments. They factually hurt your chances. People who boast, who show confidence do better in interviews. They get more opportunities and more chances.
No one wants to fuck with a negative ass person who doesnt exude positivity. Why the fuck would anyone want that? Confidence isn't just some lying ass bullshit. It's real and observable in all aspects of life, dating absolutely included.
Gotdatmoney
Member
It can't fill a void for a person. But it can help with confidence and is good for you and your body image.
My so and I are technically poly but, like, he has had zero success getting with anyone else for the reasons you stated above. That and, well, he's not really looking all that hard anyway. Even trying Fetlife didn't help with finding anyone. People either don't believe he's actually in a poly relationship, or are not interested in what would essentially a FWB thing.
So, uh... Sorry I can't help lol
ZackieChan
Member
Well, you know what to do. Get on that keto diet. How fat are we talking?
The girl I was with the other day called me fat at least 30 times. Apparently it's not seen as insulting? Different cultures, I suppose. Still hurts my cream filling a bit.
She even yelled it into Google translate a bunch of times so Google would say it back to me in English 😂
We had sex, so wwhatever
Count Dookkake
Member
I suspect that most straight guys in poly relationships get laid a lot less than do their partners.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
I don't know, I haven't owned a scale in years. Probably not good though.
My biggest fault is probably just that I'm super lazy though. And I'm super self-obsessed, I have a load of difficulty caring about or being interested in other people at all.
I imagine the same, considering the kind of messages I get on my still-open OKC account >.>
I haven't checked that lately, I wonder what fresh bullshit I have in there, lol...
Oh man, you guys wanna hear some Poly bullshit? I was just relayed this story this weekend.
About a year ago, a female friend of mine came out as Poly. A mutual male friend of ours (we hang out in a group) came to her, out of the blue, with an offer to go to San Francisco and try something. He forwarded her an article and brochure about the place. It was a sex cult. A literal sex cult. A woman and her boyfriend bought a warehouse and give classes on pleasing women. And he had wanted him to go, with her, as his partner. Bear in mind, they hadn't so much as dated, only hung out in a group. Apparently he though that Poly people are all into some kinky-ass shit (possibly even kinky ass-shit).
Another mutual friend and the female friend met up with him at a coffee shop, to use it as a teachable moment. Let him know how wrong it was, and tell him what polyamory is. He reportedly just told them he was being shamed for his kinks, and left.
This conversation came about because he had openly accused me of being a Nazi (and anti-semetic) on account of me owning the board game "Secret Hitler". I was venting to her, only to find out she had problems with him all her own.
About a year ago, a female friend of mine came out as Poly. A mutual male friend of ours (we hang out in a group) came to her, out of the blue, with an offer to go to San Francisco and try something. He forwarded her an article and brochure about the place. It was a sex cult. A literal sex cult. A woman and her boyfriend bought a warehouse and give classes on pleasing women. And he had wanted him to go, with her, as his partner. Bear in mind, they hadn't so much as dated, only hung out in a group. Apparently he though that Poly people are all into some kinky-ass shit (possibly even kinky ass-shit).
Another mutual friend and the female friend met up with him at a coffee shop, to use it as a teachable moment. Let him know how wrong it was, and tell him what polyamory is. He reportedly just told them he was being shamed for his kinks, and left.
This conversation came about because he had openly accused me of being a Nazi (and anti-semetic) on account of me owning the board game "Secret Hitler". I was venting to her, only to find out she had problems with him all her own.
Krauser Kat
Member
every other week i talk to a counselor about past relationships and current dating shit and being single after being married for my early twenties. I dont have any huge pressing issues but its worth the money having someone in your life that wants you to be the best person you can be and with the tools to help you get there.
I am pretty confident, without a lot of stress but i over think like everyone and talking to someone seriously helps. If you try and be your best person, people react to that and enjoy you more.
I am pretty confident, without a lot of stress but i over think like everyone and talking to someone seriously helps. If you try and be your best person, people react to that and enjoy you more.
Ultramantaro1
Member
This thread is my counselor. Posting here stopped me from hitting the 'send' button on a few regrettable texts. 'Pls respond' type stuff.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I've actually been thinking about getting some board games, what is Secret Hitler like? Worth playing with a group of five?
Tried a more assertive message out there today. Feel like i'm in middle gear since i'm waiting on an ask-out response from this one woman (normally i'd have accepted getting ghosted at this point, but this woman's had weird, arbitrary spans of no-replies despite sounding quite engaged otherwise).
I guess i'm still worried about coming on too strong, but y'all are right: if they're interested in you, then the only way to come off too strong is to be outright creepy (like... whatever the hell it was that Leeness just posted), otherwise its simply confidence. If they're not, no amount of subtlety is going to buy you anything other than wasted time.
I guess i'm still worried about coming on too strong, but y'all are right: if they're interested in you, then the only way to come off too strong is to be outright creepy (like... whatever the hell it was that Leeness just posted), otherwise its simply confidence. If they're not, no amount of subtlety is going to buy you anything other than wasted time.
I just remembered one story my SO told me about a girl he was chatting up. He was basically telling her out situation and why we have an open relationship (sex is generally unpleasant for me, so I'm not looking for anything out of the open realationship, it's for him). This lady flies the fuck off the handle being like IT'S NOT FAIR YOU DO THAT AND SHE DOESN'T and YOU JUST DON'T WANT HER TO DO WHAT YOU DO BECAUSE YOU THINK SHE WOULD BE A SLUT started calling him a sexist pig and shit. He even mentioned it was my idea and she can message me about it if she wants (why I keep my profile open),but at that point it's kinda "don't stick your dick in that" red flag levels.
People really don't understand how open and poly relationships work, like... At all. It's frustrating. I just told him next time, just tell them we're in an open relationship and don't bother with the details, too much trouble.
Also Kat, you're totally right. Anyone that can afford it should totally go to a counselor or therapist, even if they feel they don't need it. It can help you deal with things you didn't even know you needed help with.
People really don't understand how open and poly relationships work, like... At all. It's frustrating. I just told him next time, just tell them we're in an open relationship and don't bother with the details, too much trouble.
Also Kat, you're totally right. Anyone that can afford it should totally go to a counselor or therapist, even if they feel they don't need it. It can help you deal with things you didn't even know you needed help with.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Oh lord, that 'how busty are you' shit is amazing.
You have to wonder why he settled on that. Like did he think it sounded less creepy than 'what's your bra size'?
You have to wonder why he settled on that. Like did he think it sounded less creepy than 'what's your bra size'?
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
Even if you are "ugly" by someone's standards, your appearance is vastly improved if you exercise for a number of reasons:
It demonstrates willpower to work on your body and you develop an attractive physique as a result.
It demonstrates willpower to work on your body and you develop an attractive physique as a result.
Gotdatmoney
Member
There is this western themed card game called Bang! which I played with some friends. Its pretty fun. Maybe check that out
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