always crazy bacon
Banned
Stop thinking with your dick.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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Stop thinking with your dick.
EDIT: typed "Trying." at first but then I realised that I don't agree.
Had plenty of "fun" this weekend and I'm intrigued by her. But, hey, it doesn't matter anymore. I'll run into her again. For now, got a second date lined up with a different girl this week.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
How to pretend to be more active/sociable than I really am in order to hook up with attractive women?
Living the Dream
Member
So does anyone actually respond to letters on OKC or Match? I've been on there for two months now and never get a single response. It shows that they're reading it. I'm also getting zero matches on Bumble and Tinder. WTF is going on? This shit is depressing.
masturbate before talking to her.
will help clear things up
Hoo boy. Did I. And she stuck around in my skull.
artsi
Member
Works just as well as anything else. Doesn't matter how you meet them for the first time, you start building the relationship in real life after that.
To add on, you'll find just about all types of relationship seekers on any site. From what I've seen, only way to really know for sure is to meet and talk with your matches. Tinder just the most popular and accessible one right now.
ZackieChan
Member
Stop writing "letters," maybe?
Of course. They're not strictly "hook up" apps anymore.
Why not try to actually be active/sociable? That's the point. You do it for you, not just to hook up. It makes you way more badass.
Living the Dream
Member
What does one write then?
Crown of sonnets.
Or just say hey and make an interesting quip or non obvious observation... or send a gif apparently. Anything but a letter really.
Living the Dream
Member
Any examples? I don't understand this at all
ZackieChan
Member
Short and sweet. How long are these messages you're sending?
Well I've deleted my tinder and related apps so I can't send screenshots, but just check their profile and say something short and simple but not stupid or obvious. It's not really complicated, 90 percent of guys send the same types of messages I bet. You don't need to be some smooth operator, just say more than "hi beautiful" or "how are you?"... look at the last page or two at armadillo. Don't be boring. If you are boring ummm, stop that ! I guess easier said than done for some people. It also helps to be attractive or at least have interesting photos.
SweetDonuts
Member
Sucks a bit seeing an ex back on a hook up app (it's been 3 months so eh)
TheOfficeMut
Unconfirmed Member
I imagine my ex of 3.5 years didn't like it when I made a Tinder account three or four weeks after we broke up.
Living the Dream
Member
Count Dookkake
Member
Too long.
"My husky thinks you're cute."
"My husky thinks you're cute."
Living the Dream
Member
That just seems too short, zero thought put into it...I don't fucking get this
Count Dookkake
Member
"He thinks you should take him for a walk."
How much thought should be put into it? How has putting thought into it worked for you so far?
Remember, brevity is the soul of wit.
How much thought should be put into it? How has putting thought into it worked for you so far?
Remember, brevity is the soul of wit.
if people aren't responding to your long messages, maybe try writing something short and easy to digest. you are bombarding them with information and questions!
Ultramantaro1
Member
Girls get literally DOZENS of messages per day on these sites. It's really a seller's market and you're buying. Unless you're really hot (and then you wouldn't even have this problem in the 1st place), you gotta make it easy on them. Grab her interest quick with something short and easy to reply to. With these long messages, they're discouraged because they feel like they have to answer a bunch of questions at once and write a long reply back.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Not only is it too long, it's boring too. Just something short and catchy or short and based on their profile.
Living the Dream
Member
Then I guess I'm a boring person. And it was based off their profile
I really don't understand anything you guys are suggesting
Count Dookkake
Member
Lol.
I only asked you 2 questions and you can't even be bothered to answer them.
Now think how the girls you message must feel.
I only asked you 2 questions and you can't even be bothered to answer them.
Now think how the girls you message must feel.
Living the Dream
Member
I think legitimately reading someone's profile should be done before messaging them. None I guess.
do not write long messages asking questions that cover multiple topics, no one has the time for that.
You're ugly, I suggest photoshopping your picture.
Krauser Kat
Member
first messages i have sent on tinder in the past week that returned responsed
"your cat pillow is giving creepy looks. I like it"
"really cute, designer, plant mom thats into fitness too... Hi What type of design do you do"
"hey there, whats your grad school focus" (i went on date with this one)
"your cat pillow is giving creepy looks. I like it"
"really cute, designer, plant mom thats into fitness too... Hi
What type of design do you do""hey there, whats your grad school focus" (i went on date with this one)
Every girl is different and some like longer messages. But if you're good looking you can send paragraphs and you will still get matches. What you write really doesn't matter that much, if a girl really wants to talk to you she will, she's not gonna decide not to talk to you because you wrote a paragraph lol.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I didnt say you were boring. I said those messages are boring. Being an exciting and spontaneous person doesnt mean your writing is such.
You just need something short and cheeky. Your responses read more like greeting some person you vaguely know but only have really basic awkward convos with.
Short and cheeky or inquire about something in their profile you identify with in like 1 sentence.
Reading profiles is okay. Your messages don't need to be that long though. Limit yourself to two sentences, one of them being a good conversation starter. On Tinder, limit yourself to one sentence.
Your pics also probably suck. Not saying you're ugly, they just don't show the best you possible. It's damn common for someone to seek online-dating advice with crappy pics in their profile, and follow it up with "well my friends and I aren't the picture taking type".
artsi
Member
Yep, and in my country Tinder never really developed as a hookup app, it's pretty much what 99% of people use for online dating. Traditional websites and other apps are almost useless as they're so low population.
Moose Biscuits
It would be extreamly painful...
I don't care about being badass, or being sociable for my own sake.
Like, I'm trying to be more sociable at the moment; hanging out with friends I've made at work (I moved to this city a few years ago, don't have any friends outside of work). I get the idea of doing it for me and not just to hook up; otherwise it genuinely feels like work to try and appear sociable.
The only problem is that if I only went out when I actually wanted to I'd barely go out at all, I'd prefer to play videogames.
Fulminator
Member
Ok I'll take this into consideration, thank you
Clay Davis
Member
Hi dating gaf, how is everyone doing today?
I have been following the thread and I do appreciate I might not be someone who can a lot of advice, but I wanted to chime in to say that Zackiechan is absolutely right about socialising. It helped me to gain back lots of confidence that I had lost and it also helped in having things to talk about when I'd message someone on a dating app.
Take baby steps, start doing things you like and then try to incorporate activities you might not do. Yesterday I went to a trampoline park and then to a flower event with a friend and tomorrow I'm going to a talking poetry event with my girlfriend. These are things I never would have done 6 months ago but doing them not only helps in making you feel good about yourself, but it helps to meet people and create memories.
The first few times I went out with friends, I was a nervous wreck, I was sweating and had my head down most of the time I was out. It was difficult but fortunately my friends were supportive and they constantly encouraged me to take part and try to centre days out around me.
I hope something I've said can help. Take it slow and good luck. You're never alone, everyone is rooting for you.
I have been following the thread and I do appreciate I might not be someone who can a lot of advice, but I wanted to chime in to say that Zackiechan is absolutely right about socialising. It helped me to gain back lots of confidence that I had lost and it also helped in having things to talk about when I'd message someone on a dating app.
Take baby steps, start doing things you like and then try to incorporate activities you might not do. Yesterday I went to a trampoline park and then to a flower event with a friend and tomorrow I'm going to a talking poetry event with my girlfriend. These are things I never would have done 6 months ago but doing them not only helps in making you feel good about yourself, but it helps to meet people and create memories.
The first few times I went out with friends, I was a nervous wreck, I was sweating and had my head down most of the time I was out. It was difficult but fortunately my friends were supportive and they constantly encouraged me to take part and try to centre days out around me.
I hope something I've said can help. Take it slow and good luck. You're never alone, everyone is rooting for you.
Crash55118
Member
Keep it to one thought/response direction.
ie:
"Your dog is cute, go to any local dog parks?"
"The grand canyon is awesome - which hike did you go on?"
"I'm always in search of the best tacos in town, where is your favorite place?"
You are showing that you read their profile, and keeping it short and sweet. You'll have much better success with the shorter openers as many others have said. The opener shouldn't be about getting a person's life story/elaborating on every thing in their profile - that is best left for the first date.
Living the Dream
Member
I like this...this is perfect!!!
Fulminator
Member
Speaking of tinder and the like,I've used it before but with minimal success,which i completely contribute to a lack of interesting photos lol
How the hell do you take photos for tinder by yourself
How the hell do you take photos for tinder by yourself
Count Dookkake
Member
Why do they have to be by yourself?
LucidMomentum
Member
Clay, having followed your story since you posted that thread in off topic, I love how you now call the girl you met by chance one day your girlfriend. It's heartwarming.
Glad to hear it's going well and your social life is rewarding!
Gotdatmoney
Member
Take pictures with friends? Tell them, yo lets take a pic.
Fulminator
Member
I would but all my friends are kind of scattered in different places, and I'm still working on making some concrete friends where I am now lol
Ultramantaro1
Member
Can I join Leeness on the friendship train?
The girl I was dating for about a month, we just had a conversation and she doesn't want to move further, romantically. We are on good terms, one month isn't enough for any feelings to get hurt. I appreciated her being upfront. I thought she was ghosting and kinda sensed she wasn't super interested, so I saw this coming.
Surprisingly, I genuinely don't mind. I'm actually kind of excited about having a platonic girl friend. I only have guy friends, and I interact with their SOs, but I don't really have any female friends of my own. We have similar interests, so even if nothing physical is happening, she's good company. And she might have single friends, it's not like it's a bad thing to extend my social circle a bit.
So, Leeness, finally, I get you. Tbh, I still wouldn't mind a no-strings-attached fwb arrangement, but I'm already seeing another girl for that.
The girl I was dating for about a month, we just had a conversation and she doesn't want to move further, romantically. We are on good terms, one month isn't enough for any feelings to get hurt. I appreciated her being upfront. I thought she was ghosting and kinda sensed she wasn't super interested, so I saw this coming.
Surprisingly, I genuinely don't mind. I'm actually kind of excited about having a platonic girl friend. I only have guy friends, and I interact with their SOs, but I don't really have any female friends of my own. We have similar interests, so even if nothing physical is happening, she's good company. And she might have single friends, it's not like it's a bad thing to extend my social circle a bit.
So, Leeness, finally, I get you. Tbh, I still wouldn't mind a no-strings-attached fwb arrangement, but I'm already seeing another girl for that.
This is pretty much my experience. Almost given up on online dating at this point.
Spaced Harrier
Member
Your photos suck.
I've been trying to get out of the house more lately, but for some reason I don't like reaching out to people so I just do stuff alone. Which is better than sitting at home alone, but still gets depressing. I have one person in my city I'd consider a good friend, and a couple acquaintances but I worry I'll bother them if I try to get them to do something. Plus I'm not sure our interests are that similar, they're good people to have a beer with though.
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