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[Gully State]

She doesn't speak mandarin? I speak both and I'm Cantonese.

There's a big group of Cantonese people that don't speak mandarin. My HS was predominantly Cantonese and most of them didn't speak mandarin. The same applies for Taiwanese people as well. I've heard that outside Taipei.. Taiwanese is spoken way more.. Even in Taipei, I've met people that don't speak mandarin

 

[suzu]

I can barely speak/understand my family's native dialect, let alone Cantonese and Mandarin. ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

This makes me miss that creepy white guys tumblr.



Edit: I'm saying your post reminds me of it.

Edit 2: Not implying you're creepy.

Edit 3: I mean if you are, that's cool I guess. No judgement.

Edit 4: Fuck.

:> i love the "Edits" progression :> *patspats* :> :> :>

 

[Opiate]

This makes me miss that creepy white guys tumblr.



Edit: I'm saying your post reminds me of it.

Edit 2: Not implying you're creepy.

Edit 3: I mean if you are, that's cool I guess. No judgement.

Edit 4: Fuck.

Yeah that tumblr was pretty funny.

Edit: I mean, in the sense that I referenced them, sure.

Edit 2: I understand.

Edit 3: I thought we just agreed I'm not?

Edit 4: Okay you're banned.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

^ Ahahahahaha.

Much needed laughter after sitting 60 minutes in traffic to go 15 forsaken miles, and before the stress of my econ final.



(I still don't believe in dinosaurs >=o. Only in the Bible, and there were no dinosaurs in the Bible. So there. Flawless logic okay.)

good luck bunniiiiiiiiii <33333333

and gah traffic >___<

and..... :OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO how ... how are you one of those non-believers of the fabness of dinosaursssssssss .... howwwwwwwwwww

 

[Kevyt]

I'm lost... lol

 

[mdubs]

This is a cool thread, I just stumbled in here and I'm glad I did. A bit about myself, I'm half Chinese (my mom is Chinese fillipino) but you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at me, so I've had an interesting experience coming to terms with my heritage. I'm from Markham (a suburb of Toronto) which I think has the highest proportion of Asian people of any city in North America, making up more than 50% of the population iirc. So growing up in this type of environment I never found I fit in really as a kid and identified much more with my white side and in some cases passively resenting my Asian heritage. It's kind of tough to describe since it was a number of years ago, but I remember really wanting to be considered white and held back by my Asian side. When I think about just society in general, there are a lot of stereotypes about Asian people consistently perpetuated and this was probably a factor now that I think about it. This was never really an active thing but I remember it being in the back of my mind at times. It's odd being part of a minority which is actually the majority in my area, but I really never felt I fit in cleanly with either side of my heritage.

For whatever reason as I matured this became pretty much went away and I've come to terms that I don't need to fit into a categorization in the past few years. I've really started embracing the Chinese side and have enjoyed getting a kick out of Chinese New Year and other things like that so I figured I'd share my experience as I am happy to say that I'm part Asian and now a proud member of Asian-gaf

 

[Cow Mengde]

BTW, anyone here ever had to go through this shit?

http://blogs.wsj.com/korearealtime/...be-takedown-of-south-korean-education-system/

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

BTW, anyone here ever had to go through this shit?

http://blogs.wsj.com/korearealtime/...be-takedown-of-south-korean-education-system/

? Like, suffering the Asian schooling system of learning by rote and having to do cram school after school and having your parents instil into you how much you are of value depending on your school grades?

Or specifically the South Korean system?

I'm a survivor of the first instance. But obviously, I've never ran the South Korean version of the dungeon.

:x

 

[Cow Mengde]

? Like, suffering the Asian schooling system of learning by rote and having to do cram school after school and having your parents instil into you how much you are of value depending on your school grades?

Or specifically the South Korean system?

I'm a survivor of the first instance. But obviously, I've never ran the South Korean version of the dungeon.

:x

Asian education in general. I left China when I was in second grade, so it wasn't as bad back then.

 

[mdubs]

I think suburbs in LA have you beat (some are like 90% Asian), but it's not really a competition haha.

HI. Welcome, and now you owe all of us hong bao plskthx.

I think I get your cultural struggle-- one of my exes sorta went through the same thing. He used to give me a lot of shit about acting Asian or whatever, and he really, really wanted to disassociate himself with being Asian.

I think as he got older, he began to be less defensive about it, but I also do understand the sentiment. I wonder if it has anything to do with the popular portrayal of Asian men in North American media?

Out of curiosity I just googled and apparently Richmond BC takes the North American crown.

I wonder about that since Asian males aren't typically portrayed favourably in kids shows versus the cool portrayal of white men, but I think it has more to do with the demographics of the area. In a weird way, racism against Asians is pretty accepted here since they make up the majority, it's a weird dynamic in general.

But everyone more or less gets along anyways but I'd say it probably played a part in shaping my perception growing up.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

Asian education in general. I left China when I was in second grade, so it wasn't as bad back then.

Aaah. You dodged the insanity~

...

Though, I don't know. I sort of benefitted a lot from that insanity, looking back. When I came over to Australia, they put me up 2 years and I was still slacking like hell, even with doing triple math classes. I even graduated with a special Merit of Achievement from the Department of Education here.

:x

It placed me very well for Uni, and I was fast-tracked through my MBA. Which, helped me a lot back then, to put myself above the rest of my competitions, job-wise. I got into my first job straight after graduation, and my career's been very robust since.


But yeah, I'm a product of the very stereotypical Asian education. I hated it, when I was a child, not going to lie~ Hated, hated, hated it. It sucked my childhood dry. If I have a do-over, I'd probably would have rebelled harder, to be honest.

 

[Septimus Prime]

OH SHIT, DINOSAURS!!!!!

EDIT:

I think as he got older, he began to be less defensive about it, but I also do understand the sentiment. I wonder if it has anything to do with the popular portrayal of Asian men in North American media?

I'm going to use this to segue into another of your favorite topics: PUA. I don't know about others, but I honestly felt that, as the bottom rung of the attractiveness ladder, Asian-American men are more likely to be drawn to it.

 

[Cow Mengde]

She doesn't, and even her Cantonese is not particularly good. She is not particularly tied to her heritage, any more than is forced on her by the fact that so many people think Chinese people are unusual and exotic (she grew up in the Midwest).

Oh right, never occurred to me that she might have never had a Chinese education.

 

[MissDeviling]

This is a cool thread, I just stumbled in here and I'm glad I did. A bit about myself, I'm half Chinese (my mom is Chinese fillipino) but you wouldn't be able to tell from looking at me, so I've had an interesting experience coming to terms with my heritage. I'm from Markham (a suburb of Toronto) which I think has the highest proportion of Asian people of any city in North America, making up more than 50% of the population iirc. So growing up in this type of environment I never found I fit in really as a kid and identified much more with my white side and in some cases passively resenting my Asian heritage. It's kind of tough to describe since it was a number of years ago, but I remember really wanting to be considered white and held back by my Asian side. When I think about just society in general, there are a lot of stereotypes about Asian people consistently perpetuated and this was probably a factor now that I think about it. This was never really an active thing but I remember it being in the back of my mind at times. It's odd being part of a minority which is actually the majority in my area, but I really never felt I fit in cleanly with either side of my heritage.

For whatever reason as I matured this became pretty much went away and I've come to terms that I don't need to fit into a categorization in the past few years. I've really started embracing the Chinese side and have enjoyed getting a kick out of Chinese New Year and other things like that so I figured I'd share my experience as I am happy to say that I'm part Asian and now a proud member of Asian-gaf

Oh hey I'm from Markham too! Small world.

I was born in HK and came to Canada in kindergarten, but I had a really hard time accepting Canadian culture, actually. I still do sometimes, but the hate's simmered down a lot to something like mild annoyance at some things, but I've always identified more with Hong Kong than Canada, even if I don't speak Cantonese well. I also noticed that Chinese people aren't really positively seen around here in Markham by people of other ethnicities (it didn't seem to matter when I was in North York, but I was in elementary back then and we didn't care about that stuff). I think it might actually be because we're such a large portion of the population that other groups feel uncomfortable? At least, that's how I see it. I don't feel the tension when I'm away at university, where it's mostly white people. It might also be because we don't fit that well in social groups, I think. We like to keep to ourselves and talk about stuff that others have a hard time relating to.

I know this is irrational, but sometimes I feel bad for other groups that live in Markham. I know I don't like being a minority, yet at the same time I don't feel comfortable being the majority either.

 

[robox]

She doesn't, and even her Cantonese is not particularly good. She is not particularly tied to her heritage, any more than is forced on her by the fact that so many people think Chinese people are unusual and exotic (she grew up in the Midwest).

sounds sorta like me. i'd say my primary language is english, and know enough cantonese to have casual conversations. and i often mix up cantonese with my family's native dialect of cantonese, toisan. (I know there're more of yous out there!!) and i am damn near useless with mandarin. i have friends and cousins though who don't speak any chinese. communication with grandparents who don't speak english is very limited.

on the other hand, i still have a hard time wrapping my head around the idea of asian american/canadian asian people who didn't grow up on the coasts. especially in small towns, they must be the only ones and the only exposure to asian culture they have is from their immediate family. this is just me though; i sometimes want to visit there to see what it's really like

Out of curiosity I just googled and apparently Richmond BC takes the North American crown.

haha. being from vancouver, of which richmond is a suburb, doesn't surprise me. richmond is like the fobbiest place. the busiest commercial areas are all chinese malls, shops, and eateries.

 

[FeenixRising]

My dad is a Japanese/Filipino mix, all his siblings married white folks.... my dad on the other hand married a black woman.

He is the oldest of his siblings, therefore he was the first to get married. My mom recalled a very tense situation when he brought her home for the first time. I can only imagine what that was like. Fortunately it didn't lead to a falling out like most of these situations do so that's good.

Where I grew up, the Asian population was like nil. As a result, I became immersed in "Black" Culture (as evidenced by my post history) due to my mother's heavy influence in my life..and the fact that I grew up around primarily black people and the only time I would delve in "Asian" culture was when we would visit my grandparents (my dad is pretty Americanized so I wasn't getting it from him... though he was the stereotypical "strict" Asian father.)

Though I'm still kind of miffed that my grandparents took my younger sister to Japan to see their family and not me years ago... oh well, I got to visit Japan and South Korea during my time in the Navy.

 

[Rainy]

My parents have always been strict on grades and are rarely proud of me. But it seems as I've gotten older things have gotten better. They were elated at me graduating from college in June and even more elated that I got into a medical school a few weeks ago. It makes me happy to see them happy. Though I realize a letter grade, etc. doesn't define me, things seem to be going well for me for the first time in a while.

 

[MrChowderClams]

My parents have always been strict on grades and are rarely proud of me. But it seems as I've gotten older things have gotten better. They were elated at me graduating from college in June and even more elated that I got into a medical school a few weeks ago. It makes me happy to see them happy. Though I realize a letter grade, etc. doesn't define me, things seem to be going well for me for the first time in a while.

Haha I can relate. Parents were super strict about grades. High school was terrible because of the grind to keep a perfect gpa. College was amazing though, mostly because I could just about my grades lol (almost flunked out of psych 101... the proudest ive been to get a C lol).

Congrats and kudos to you for doing the med school grind. I had enough of school after 4 years of college. I didn't really have a great relationship with my parents until after I started working. I think they put a lot of pressure on themselves to see me and my siblings succeed, and after I graduated from school they breathed a sigh of relief.

 

[Rainy]

Haha I can relate. Parents were super strict about grades. High school was terrible because of the grind to keep a perfect gpa. College was amazing though, mostly because I could just about my grades lol (almost flunked out of psych 101... the proudest ive been to get a C lol).

Congrats and kudos to you for doing the med school grind. I had enough of school after 4 years of college.

Thanks! And yeah college was definitely refreshing. Hopefully this gap year provides me with some much needed peace before I embark on the tiring journey of med school.

Alas, I've been spending too much of the gap year on Neogaf.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

My parents have always been strict on grades and are rarely proud of me. But it seems as I've gotten older things have gotten better. They were elated at me graduating from college in June and even more elated that I got into a medical school a few weeks ago. It makes me happy to see them happy. Though I realize a letter grade, etc. doesn't define me, things seem to be going well for me for the first time in a while.

grats on med school and gl for the grind ahead o7

bunni,.... ionno haha. i figured if i had been actually smart i wouldnt have hated it so bad :3



parents eh :> i guess at the end of the day they all just want the best for all of us, even if their ideas of "best" sometimes clash with ours :3 haha :>

 

[JoeFu]

My dad is a Japanese/Filipino mix, all his siblings married white folks.... my dad on the other hand married a black woman.

He is the oldest of his siblings, therefore he was the first to get married. My mom recalled a very tense situation when he brought her home for the first time. I can only imagine what that was like. Fortunately it didn't lead to a falling out like most of these situations do so that's good.

Where I grew up, the Asian population was like nil. As a result, I became immersed in "Black" Culture (as evidenced by my post history) due to my mother's heavy influence in my life..and the fact that I grew up around primarily black people and the only time I would delve in "Asian" culture was when we would visit my grandparents (my dad is pretty Americanized so I wasn't getting it from him... though he was the stereotypical "strict" Asian father.)

Though I'm still kind of miffed that my grandparents took my younger sister to Japan to see their family and not me years ago... oh well, I got to visit Japan and South Korea during my time in the Navy.

Is Blasian an offensive term? Because I think Blasian is such a cool word haha.




also back in the land of freedom. I miss the food in Taiwan already. The breakfasts the plethora of vegetarian cuisine

 

[mdubs]

Oh hey I'm from Markham too! Small world.

I also noticed that Chinese people aren't really positively seen around here in Markham by people of other ethnicities (it didn't seem to matter when I was in North York, but I was in elementary back then and we didn't care about that stuff). I think it might actually be because we're such a large portion of the population that other groups feel uncomfortable?

We like to keep to ourselves and talk about stuff that others have a hard time relating to.

I know this is irrational, but sometimes I feel bad for other groups that live in Markham. I know I don't like being a minority, yet at the same time I don't feel comfortable being the majority either.

I think the issue is that other groups feel threatened (especially the white community which historically made up the bulk of the population) with the fact they aren't the majority in the city. It also doesn't help that from my perspective while we have diversity, ethnic communities tend to keep to themselves socially to a large degree which creates the tension.

 

[Dead Prince]

for these winter months. this would have been nice to have.

maybe i'll ask my mom what's the recipe to make the noodles. lol.

Spoiler

no to store packaged noodles

 

[IAmtheFMan]

My parents have always been strict on grades and are rarely proud of me. But it seems as I've gotten older things have gotten better. They were elated at me graduating from college in June and even more elated that I got into a medical school a few weeks ago.

Congrats... but is it too late to change your mind about going into medicine? Go into finance or something, lol.

Oh well if your mind's made up already, be sure to enjoy the hell out of this gap year.

 

[y2dvd]

Is Blasian an offensive term? Because I think Blasian is such a cool word haha.

I hope not. My sister and her black boyfriend have kids together and we all call them blackanese which may sound even more offensive lol. I blame Rush Hour.

 

[FeenixRising]

Is Blasian an offensive term? Because I think Blasian is such a cool word haha.

Nah, I like that term

Funny thing about my pops is, he can't speak either of his parents native languages but he can speak my mothers (Haitian Kreyol) fluently, thats why my moms family loves him... lol.

 

[Tangeroo]

Hey folks, checking in here for the first time.

I'm a second-gen Asian American who was raised in Texas in the 80s/90s. Not sure what I can add to the discussion except that I'm a firm believer in the Asian head nod. Whenever I see another Asian person I don't know, I give them the head nod just to see if I'll get one back. I'd say I've got about a 90% success ratio, which is pretty good. Also works pretty well with black folks too (which, to be fair, is where the minority head nod probably got its start).

 

[FeenixRising]

Hey folks, checking in here for the first time.

I'm a second-gen Asian American who was raised in Texas in the 80s/90s. Not sure what I can add to the discussion except that I'm a firm believer in the Asian head nod. Whenever I see another Asian person I don't know, I give them the head nod just to see if I'll get one back. I'd say I've got about a 90% success ratio, which is pretty good. Also works pretty well with black folks too (which, to be fair, is where the minority head nod probably got its start).

Yes, you are correct with that assumption.

 

[Mowki Kowski]

Hey folks, checking in here for the first time.

I'm a second-gen Asian American who was raised in Texas in the 80s/90s. Not sure what I can add to the discussion except that I'm a firm believer in the Asian head nod. Whenever I see another Asian person I don't know, I give them the head nod just to see if I'll get one back. I'd say I've got about a 90% success ratio, which is pretty good. Also works pretty well with black folks too (which, to be fair, is where the minority head nod probably got its start).

That's a minority thing? I've always done it to people: people I don't know get a downward nod, people I do know get an upward nod, unless I know them well enough to start a conversation >_>

 

[Esch]

Hey folks, checking in here for the first time.

I'm a second-gen Asian American who was raised in Texas in the 80s/90s. Not sure what I can add to the discussion except that I'm a firm believer in the Asian head nod. Whenever I see another Asian person I don't know, I give them the head nod just to see if I'll get one back. I'd say I've got about a 90% success ratio, which is pretty good. Also works pretty well with black folks too (which, to be fair, is where the minority head nod probably got its start).

Lmao.

https://medium.com/matter/the-nod-a...in-an-overwhelmingly-white-place-e12bfa0f833f

 

[Tangeroo]

That's a minority thing? I've always done it to people: people I don't know get a downward nod, people I do know get an upward nod, unless I know them well enough to start a conversation >_>

Sorry, just to clarify, I use the upward nod to minorities I don't know to let them know that we both know what's up.

 

[Mowki Kowski]

Sorry, just to clarify, I use the upward nod to minorities I don't know to let them know that we both know what's up.

Huh.

Come to think of it, I only ever remember getting a response from minorities when I do this...

 

[Rainy]

Congrats... but is it too late to change your mind about going into medicine? Go into finance or something, lol.

Oh well if your mind's made up already, be sure to enjoy the hell out of this gap year.

Nah haha I want to go into medicine a lot lmao.

 

[Tangeroo]

Huh.

Come to think of it, I only ever remember getting a response from minorities when I do this...

Yeah, the more I think about it, I'm pretty sure I learned how to do it from the few black kids at my school growing up. They'd always give me the nod (Asians were also pretty rare in this part of Texas) and I just picked up on it and have been using it ever since. I'll even break it out on white strangers just to see what'll happen and most of the times, they pretend that they didn't see me or they'll give me a weird look.

 

[Tangeroo]

I've NEVER heard of the head nod. Maybe it's because it's LA and we're all a bunch of unfriendly snobs and minorities, but WHAT. WHAT. THERE IS A HEAD NOD AMONG MINORITIES? I don't look at people when I walk around... I kinda assumed no one is supposed to look at anyone else. If someone gave me the head nod I'd be like who the fuck are you do I know you OH MY GOD SHIT I PROBABLY FORGOT WHO THIS PERSON IS.

WHAT.

(I'm going to try this the next time I'm in Texas.) So just to be clear, do I nod up or down. lol.

For what it's worth, I live in Seattle now but as far as I know, the head nod works everywhere in the world. You have to give the up-nod, because you're not just saying hello. You're acknowledging that you both belong to a secret society and signaling each other in plain sight amongst the masses. And your reaction is pretty much the exact reaction I get when I give it to white folks.

 

[jasonng]

I received the nod before. I think it was more of me making a response to someone acknowledging me more than it is an ethnicity pride.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

I think you're probably giving yourself way less credit than you do, but that's normal for people.

& yeah, that's why I can't resent or be angry at my parents, no matter how backwards racist/sexist/whatever they are. I know that they think they are doing what is best for me, and that they'd sacrifice everything for me, so how can I do anything but love them and want to make them happy? It doesn't even matter if it's not "right," I care about them first and more than anything :/.

yeaaaaaaaaaaah. verily. parents eh. <3 im the same with you, bunni :3



re: the nod, i've received and given it! minorities respond in kind tis a secret code or some such XD

 

[clav]

Meh.

Parents can be destructive, too.

My family circle talks about 1-uping their kid at the table (i.e. who is the best kid?), and whoever's kid accomplished the most gets the gossip trophy and mass approval while the rest start shouting, "Why can't you be like xyz? You suck and fail at life!"

Then, they sometimes say, "I regret having you in my life. You are such a nuisance."

Other times, they say, "Raising you was difficult. You are the worst child ever. One day you'll know why."

I'm not close to any of my cousins since we were all used as tools for trophy gossip. We never talk nor contact each other.

 

[Dead Prince]

Meh.

Parents can be destructive, too.

My family circle talks about 1-uping their kid at the table (i.e. who is the best kid?), and whoever's kid accomplished the most gets the gossip trophy and mass approval while the rest start shouting, "Why can't you be like xyz? You suck and fail at life!"

Then, they sometimes say, "I regret having you in my life. You are such a nuisance."

I'm not close to any of my cousins since we were all used as tools for trophy gossip. We never talk nor contact each other.

i think it's like a norm. that's how it was growing up. it was all about bragging rights and comparing your kids to others.

my parents aren't good with the congrats or compliments or anything like that. so if you get an A they'll say you can do better.

 

[Tangeroo]

Meh.

Parents can be destructive, too.

My family circle talks about 1-uping their kid at the table (i.e. who is the best kid?), and whoever's kid accomplished the most gets the gossip trophy and mass approval while the rest start shouting, "Why can't you be like xyz? You suck and fail at life!"

Then, they sometimes say, "I regret having you in my life. You are such a nuisance."

I'm not close to any of my cousins since we were all used as tools for trophy gossip. We never talk nor contact each other.

Wow, I just got chills reading this. It's pretty much the main reason why I moved as far away from home as I could, as soon as I could.

 

[Cybit]

Makes sense... especially if you factor in the sometimes patriarchal and sexist beliefs that seem to thrive in (my? most?) Asian family. The idea that a daughter belongs to the family to look after so they can hand her off to her husband to take care of... .... ugh.

If it makes you feel better, my mom was very happy to have my older brother "off her hands" when he married his white wife, and my mom sort-of-but-not-totally jokes about wanting my current girlfriend and I to get married so "you can deal with him". So, maybe it goes both ways? Or my mom's just a sarcastic ass (which is also true)

For what it's worth, I live in Seattle now but as far as I know, the head nod works everywhere in the world. You have to give the up-nod, because you're not just saying hello. You're acknowledging that you both belong to a secret society and signaling each other in plain sight amongst the masses. And your reaction is pretty much the exact reaction I get when I give it to white folks.

I'm in Seattle as well; but I always do the downward head nod.

In related-ish news; I'm glad the OT is doing well! You all owe BSB a shout-out for convincing me to start it.

 

[JoeFu]

I always took the nod as like a semi-bow.

And I hate how asian culture always compares you to others. My parents chilled out after a while but my mom will use it to talk about how lazy I am lol.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

Yeah, my parents have done the compare and contrast against cousins thing too. It's really annoying and growing up, it used to irk me to no ends. These days, I try to empathize with them, and I think it might be one of their ways to cope with having no measure of how they have been doing parenting. They look at what others have achieved and they wonder why they are getting different results.

It's rough on the kids, no doubt. I have bear the brunt of it, too since I'm almost 30 and still 'single' and THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM for my family. For some reasons, if a girl remains without a bf or a potential husband, they experience massive self-doubt as a parent... :x They are like, "What's wrong with you? Look at your cousins! They are already married last year!" etc.

x_____x;;;;;;;;

(i'm not single. i have a gf, and we've been together for 8 years now, but we are in the closet) (that's another whole can of worms) (haha)

But yeah. Parents can be really trying, but I do remind myself that they probably are doing it out of the best intentions. I love my parents to bits, even if they are flawed.




I do have to say that living away from them makes it easier to love them :x :x :x

 

[Tangeroo]

Yeah, my parents have done the compare and contrast against cousins thing too. It's really annoying and growing up, it used to irk me to no ends. These days, I try to empathize with them, and I think it might be one of their ways to cope with having no measure of how they have been doing parenting. They look at what others have achieved and they wonder why they are getting different results.

It's rough on the kids, no doubt. I have bear the brunt of it, too since I'm almost 30 and still 'single' and THIS IS A MAJOR PROBLEM for my family. For some reasons, if a girl remains without a bf or a potential husband, they experience massive self-doubt as a parent... :x They are like, "What's wrong with you? Look at your cousins! They are already married last year!" etc.

x_____x;;;;;;;;

(i'm not single. i have a gf, and we've been together for 8 years now, but we are in the closet) (that's another whole can of worms) (haha)

But yeah. Parents can be really trying, but I do remind myself that they probably are doing it out of the best intentions. I love my parents to bits, even if they are flawed.

I do have to say that living away from them makes it easier to love them :x :x :x

Let me know if you need a beard (merkin?). I may not be great with my own parents, but I seem to be pretty popular with other peoples' parents.

 

[suzu]

Fortunately(?) most of my cousins and I are dumber than a pile of rocks. lol

The worse thing to me is when they compare your looks and SO (or lack of one) instead.

 

[clav]

i think it's like a norm. that's how it was growing up. it was all about bragging rights and comparing your kids to others.

my parents aren't good with the congrats or compliments or anything like that. so if you get an A they'll say you can do better.

Maybe. I feel I had an extreme side of it.

My parents constantly said things like, "Why are you so short? You need to get taller."

They look at me now, "You are too short. You didn't listen to us. That's why you can't find a different job. No one likes short people. Even girls don't like short people."

Repeat nearly every day. Weekly guaranteed.

Wow, I just got chills reading this. It's pretty much the main reason why I moved as far away from home as I could, as soon as I could.

I wish I could, but I need a starting place for a job that actually has a career.

Attempted a double major in music and engineering. Dropped to just electrical engineering. Didn't really do that well. Focused on studies. Didn't really focus on social life since I was so ill-prepared coming out of high school as everything was about improving the extracurriculars. Why care about building friendships when the college is the most important thing ever?

Welp. Maybe I should have focused on those connections instead of just trying to get As in the class.

Sometimes I wish I could just start over because society doesn't like me.

 

[YesNOnoNOYes]

Let me know if you need a beard (merkin?). I may not be great with my own parents, but I seem to be pretty popular with other peoples' parents.

Awwww that's so sweet of you <3 But I've contemplated that many times in the past and I think it'll lead to even more heartache and complications.... ~i know this because of.... MOVIES~

XD

but thankiiiiiieeee. i honestly have contemplated getting a fakie bf at some points in my life ^___^;;;;

suzu, aaaaaa yes yes. asian culture can be super image-oriented x___x i know this pain well... x___x

clavier, awwww :< hugs are here if you wants them :< sound like your family is particularly rough on you :< that can be super hard on your esteem, and i wont pretend to know how tough you are struggling, but if you ever need to vent or talk or anything.... we're all ears :>

 

[Mowki Kowski]

Reading about all these experiences with harsh parents is interesting for me. My brother and I were born in the US and my parents are from the Philippines, but are pretty thoroughly Americanized (thanks in large part to my dad joining the Army before I was born). They always encouraged me to study and follow my dreams, but were less pushy about it the older I got. I get the feeling that most of my cousins living in the states got the same sort of treatment as well.

The traditional/stereotypical Asian parenting thing sounds pretty nerve-wracking to me. Looking back I kind of wish that my parents were a bit harder on me, but really I only have myself to blame for where I'm at right now lol.

 

[suzu]

The only thing I wished my parents actually pressured me into doing is learning piano/violin or dance as a child. They asked if I wanted to and I said "nope"... and that was that. Dammit, parents! lol