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[Trojita]

http://www.cnn.com/2015/05/08/health/bullying-mental-health-effects/index.html

Bullying can be defined by many things. It's teasing, name-calling, stereotyping, fighting, exclusion, spreading rumors, public shaming and aggressive intimidation. It can be in person and online. But it can no longer be considered a rite of passage that strengthens character, new research suggests.

Adolescents who are bullied by their peers actually suffer from worse long-term mental health effects than children who are maltreated by adults, based on a study published last week in The Lancet Psychiatry.

The findings were a surprise to Dr. Dieter Wolke and his team that led the study, who expected the two groups to be similarly affected. However, because children tend to spend more time with their peers, it stands to reason that if they have negative relationships with one another, the effects could be severe and long-lasting, he said. They also found that children maltreated by adults were more likely to be bullied.

The researchers discovered that children who were bullied are more likely to suffer anxiety, depression and consider self-harm and suicide later in life.

While all children face conflict, disagreements between friends can usually be resolved in some way. But the repetitive nature of bullying is what can cause such harm, Wolke said.

"Bullying is comparable to a scenario for a caged animal," he said. "The classroom is a place where you're with people you didn't choose to be with, and you can't escape them if something negative happens."

Children can internalize the harmful effects of bullying, which creates stress-related issues such as anxiety and depression, or they can externalize it by turning from a victim to a bully themselves. Either way, the result has a painful impact.

The study also concluded with a call to action, suggesting that while the government has justifiably focused on addressing maltreatment and abuse in the home, they should also consider bullying as a serious problem that requires schools, health services and communities to prevent, respond to or stop this abusive culture from forming.

"It's a community problem," Wolke said. "Physicians don't ask about bullying. Health professionals, educators and legislation could provide parents with medical and social resources. We all need to be trained to ask about peer relationships."

 

[BPoole]

That's a shame, considering bullying is basically cyclical in public schools.

In elementary school, the 5th graders are the biggest kids, so they bully the younger kids. Then they go to middle school, and the 8th grades pick on the 6th graders. Then those 8th graders go to high school and literally all the other grades pick on freshmen.

 

[Lord Ghirahim]

http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1038178

 

[hiryu64]

I can confirm this, as I was bullied relentlessly throughout my childhood. It started when I was four and in day care. The first hook was my unusual last name. It just escalated from there, and that would be my life for the next 15 years. It didn't matter what I did, it seemed like anything I did was worthy of ridicule. Sure, the bullying leveled off around late-high school and early college, but the damage was done. I'm 26 now and have been formally diagnosed with, among other things, post-traumatic stress disorder, and still find it hard to trust whether my friends really like me. I'm very hypersensitive to any perceived dislike from others, and although I've improved somewhat, I still don't take well to the thought of rejection.

Years later, the same people would come back to me and act like nothing ever happened and that we were friends. Can you imagine what that's like? I know "forgive and forget" and all that and that "yeah I was an asshole as a kid but kids will be kids and we're grown-ups now, right? :^)" Sorry, but that stuff doesn't just go away. Couple that with the indifference to amusement of the adults that could do anything (I distinctly remember my gym teacher saying "Poor kid" about me to another adult) and it's like... yeah, when you grow up in an inescapable situation in which you're stripped of power and humanity, what do you expect to happen?

Also, the majority of my tormentors growing up were girls, so I have serious issues around women, too. Some of them were the most vile, hateful bullies I encountered, and they really did a number on my ability to trust people. Maybe slightly off-topic, but fuck it, might as well share it. The one time I was ever in a relationship was with the hot girl in the class, and everyone was congratulating me for getting involved with her so I could finally have sex (because I totally wanted that) Us guys, huh? Fun fact: she came on to me by placing her foot on my crotch during class, and all my friends were teasing me about it. So yeah, our "relationship" was initiated with sexual abuse. Cool. She would always pressure me for sex, and I wasn't able to maintain erection (which worked in my favor, because I'm asexual and didn't want to have sex with her). I remember how she got me a birthday card with like fifteen condoms that dropped out of it when I opened it, and everyone around me thought it was hilarious--except me. After she made some comment on my immaturity (I was two years younger than her, go fucking figure), I dumped her. So of course she tells people about my inability to perform, and I get mocked for that, too. Throw it on the pile.

After about seven years had passed, I would cross paths with her at a park one day. She approached me and asked if I knew her. We both obviously recognized each other, but my response was no, and she walked away. I wanted to cry. It wasn't until years later in therapy that I would recognize that entire episode for what it was and how deeply it affected me.

Once I reached college, the damage was done. I felt ostracized by my peers, even if that wasn't what they were setting out to do. And because of my lack of social awareness, I latched onto the precious few people that threatened to be my friend a bit too hard. As a wise philosopher once said, "If you cling too tightly, you're gonna lose control." The wounds of my past were plainly visible through my actions and demeanor, like some kind of dark aura, and I pushed away many people that could have been friends. Lacking the ability to assert myself has hurt me in my adult life in many ways, both professionally and personally.

I have been in and out of psychologists' and therapists' offices over the years. I expressed symptoms of depression as early as eight years old. I have been hospitalized twice, once for suicidal ideation and another time for an actual attempt. I've been in therapy with a pretty solid therapist for the past three years now, and while I'm far better equipped to process and deal with these situations, there's still a broken childhood that always looms over me like some kind of chilling specter. And I'm still pretty much a treasure trove of neuroses.

Spoiler

And, for the record, still single, ayy.

My therapist has commented that I have a lot of fairly positive qualities, and that I could have been a very different person had I not been subjected to all of this. There are times when my personality shines through, but it's always filtered through the cracked lens of my past. I'm having trouble coming up with an analogy, but essentially my personality was supplanted by a lifetime of awful experiences. These people thought nothing of throwing me on the cross for a few fleeting moments of laughter and enjoyment, but I'm the one who has to bear that cross for the rest of his life, while they lead relatively normal lives. And now I'm expected to go to my high school reunion and rekindle old friendships with the people that made me miserable and altered the trajectory of my life? Yeah, I'll pass.

But it's not all bad. I've learned that I can take that power back, and that I'm an adult and not that child that was beaten physically, mentally, and emotionally into submission. But when you go through that stuff, part of you stops developing, and you remain that child in an adult's body. I've steadily but slowly taken the steps to achieve some semblance of normal. And by most accounts, I'm doing okay. But the scars of the past remain, and every so often I find myself sitting in school again, waiting for the moment where I can somehow go home and finally escape the nightmare. When you go through life where everyone your age is simultaneously your friend and your enemy, who do you trust? As I grow older, I'm slowly learning. But sometimes, I forget the answer.

tl;dr: fuck bullying

 

[mujun]

and still find it hard to trust whether my friends really like me. I'm very hypersensitive to any perceived dislike from others, and although I've improved somewhat, I still don't take well to the thought of rejection.

I'm in a similar situation, mostly down to bullying and from what I can piece together, nobody to help me deal with people better from a young age.

I find it an impossible task to make friends. I don't feel comfortable enough to open up, I am really picky in terms of what I need from a friend and I guess I come off as cold and quiet with a lot of people I meet.

I'm 40 now and I'm at peace with my lot in life but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that I think about why the hell I just never figured it out, after 25+ years of actively trying to master fitting in.

 

[Tunin]

I really don't get bullying, specially being something so endemic in the USA.

At least where I grew up (Brazil) we had some minor disputes between in class groups, but that was it. Most of the time people were actually nice to each other and did not encourage harsh bullying.

There's something that I really don't understand regarding the kids in the US, why the fuck people think heavy bullying is acceptable?

 

[Skeyser]

That's a shame, considering bullying is basically cyclical in public schools.

In elementary school, the 5th graders are the biggest kids, so they bully the younger kids. Then they go to middle school, and the 8th grades pick on the 6th graders. Then those 8th graders go to high school and literally all the other grades pick on freshmen.

I guess it varies from school to school, but most of the bullying I've seen was always from kids in the same classroom.

 

[hiryu64]

There's something that I really don't understand regarding the kids in the US, why the fuck people think heavy bullying is acceptable?

It's considered a rite of passage.

No, really. Doubly so for boys. It's part of that toxic "Be a man" culture that we have. As a result, people like me have no real outlet or options for seeking help, because if we succumb it's because we weren't strong enough.