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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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LucidMomentum
Member
I hate you both.
Because I'm jealous.
Have fun y'all!
Spending my weekend driving down to SoCal and catching up with friends, cause my work week is gonna leave little time to even attempt to date next week. Sometimes it's nice to just not worry about the grind of trying to set up first dates and just do something because I want to.
John Wick 2? Sega Dreamcast? That's some solid Valentine's Day plans. My plans aren't nearly as fun those two.
I'm taking my date to a teppanyaki place for dinner and if the weather is nice, we'll be checking out the local ice sculpture festival afterwards. I also concocted a cheesy take "roses are red, violets are blue "poem to send to her on the morning of. If I can at least get a smile out of it, I'll be happy! I might get a small present as well but I haven't decided.
It'll be our 4th date so the nerves are essentially gone now. As silly as it may sound, what I am looking forward to most is to make her laugh. This was never the case with other girls or my ex. I may have entertained them or whatever but it was never my focus. It's weird.
That's what I tried to do during the holidays; tried focusing on me and try not fixate on the pressure of dating. I can't say I was successful though as I found myself scouring dating apps a lot more than I normally would.
I'm taking my date to a teppanyaki place for dinner and if the weather is nice, we'll be checking out the local ice sculpture festival afterwards. I also concocted a cheesy take "roses are red, violets are blue "poem to send to her on the morning of. If I can at least get a smile out of it, I'll be happy! I might get a small present as well but I haven't decided.
It'll be our 4th date so the nerves are essentially gone now. As silly as it may sound, what I am looking forward to most is to make her laugh. This was never the case with other girls or my ex. I may have entertained them or whatever but it was never my focus. It's weird.
That's what I tried to do during the holidays; tried focusing on me and try not fixate on the pressure of dating. I can't say I was successful though as I found myself scouring dating apps a lot more than I normally would.
Shogmaster
Member
We kinda have a date, when she gets back in town, which is soon. I'm pretty sure she is interested in me. I'm definitely interested in her. I'm just not sure about that age gap.
Messofanego
Banned
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I would. (If I could get a date these days.) But we already knew that.
There's always shit to be not sure about before you meet someone. You're not committing to this girl for anything more than a first date. You've got nothing to lose, so stop overthinking things and just look forward to having some fun!
I have to drive for an hour to even start the date though. Which means if we get dumped on with snow it's off!
LucidMomentum
Member
I have to drive for an hour to even start the date though. Which means if we get dumped on with snow it's off!
Yeah but if you get dumped in the snow you can do something to keep warm, I'm sure.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Winner winner chicken dinner.
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
Spiderjericho
Member
I was talking to a woman who took care of her mom (she was 70+) and a single mom. I think the best thing is to be honest. I talked to her for a few weeks and more things came up like she had Lupus, had a bad fall and knee issues which contributed to weight gain made it easy to say it wouldn't work out. But I appreciated her being up front about it.
thestopsign
Member
Gah. I'm nervous. Met a girl I really liked at a bar last week and got her number. Been texting her and she told me she wanted to go out for dinner tonight earlier this week. Wednesday night she stopped mid-conversation with me and hasn't texted back since.
I sent her a text this morning confirming the date and and I see she has read it, but no reply 30 minutes after at this point. I might have got my hopes....
Well actually, while I was typing this post up she texted me back! We are on!
I sent her a text this morning confirming the date and and I see she has read it, but no reply 30 minutes after at this point. I might have got my hopes....
Well actually, while I was typing this post up she texted me back! We are on!
It was just thirty minutes lol.
thestopsign
Member
Well after her not responding to me for a day and a half before that. I wouldn't have been nervous otherwise.
electricshake
Member
We're going out for dinner tonight for Valentine's and just staying in on Tues. Prob do M&S dine in for 2. Prob going to get him a board game as a gift.
always crazy bacon
Banned
It's not an issue unless you make it one. Don't mention it at all during the date, just proceed as normal. My 2nd wife is a similar age difference and it's no problem.
Shadowhelper
Banned
So I am going to start looking for another person also. On a messaging app, this party with a local app, this 21 yr old gorgeous French graphic designer is messaging me to meet, she wants to meet for drinks.
I want to meet her, but I feel bad doing this without telling the girl I've been seeing although she did meet an old lover once, without telling me, she confessed, but not the part that he crashed at her place, which she only admitted because I wanted to see the facebook messages.
I only asked because she has made me show my messages from a couple girls who are only friends, but she was jealous and not trusting.
I am much older than this French girl, she is texting me now. I am not sure, should I meet her tonight, tomorrow, or say next weekend? I am watching what I eat and exercising. The better shape I am in, the easier these things go. 6ft tall but like 185lbs, and I need to be 175lbs - 165 lbs. Or is it pointless trying to pursue even if its just friendship with such a young person? She is the one that messaged me, I aint no creep.
Should I just message her and ask her to meet up tomorrow? I feel as though, when it comes to pretty girls, I don't have any self control when they ask me to do something. I just say, sure! Another odd thing is, just by my looks, relative to most people French girls really like me. I don't know why. Years ago a French girl virtually stalked me until we met.
I want to meet her, but I feel bad doing this without telling the girl I've been seeing although she did meet an old lover once, without telling me, she confessed, but not the part that he crashed at her place, which she only admitted because I wanted to see the facebook messages.
I only asked because she has made me show my messages from a couple girls who are only friends, but she was jealous and not trusting.
I am much older than this French girl, she is texting me now. I am not sure, should I meet her tonight, tomorrow, or say next weekend? I am watching what I eat and exercising. The better shape I am in, the easier these things go. 6ft tall but like 185lbs, and I need to be 175lbs - 165 lbs. Or is it pointless trying to pursue even if its just friendship with such a young person? She is the one that messaged me, I aint no creep.
Should I just message her and ask her to meet up tomorrow? I feel as though, when it comes to pretty girls, I don't have any self control when they ask me to do something. I just say, sure! Another odd thing is, just by my looks, relative to most people French girls really like me. I don't know why. Years ago a French girl virtually stalked me until we met.
I am confused, did you break up with the girl who you called your GF at the top of this page? Doesn't appear so. So you want our advice about how to cheat on her?
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
Definitely see how things go with this French girl...as long as you break up with the girl you've been seeing, because you owe it to that girl to be honest, it's the right thing to do.
you can go out with this french girl as long as you break up with your GF.
das ende.
Did you... like... break up with your girlfriend?
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
DatingGAF, do women care if a guy is super pale? I've heard it's considered somewhat feminine, but I'm someone who burns pretty easily, I don't tan. Is a translucent glow alright?
Edit: No avatar quote
Edit: No avatar quote
Count Dookkake
Member
A lot of them think it's hot.
Ever heard of Twilight?
Ever heard of Twilight?
DatingGAF, do women care if a guy is super pale? I've heard it's considered somewhat feminine, but I'm someone who burns pretty easily, I don't tan. Is a translucent glow alright?
Edit: No avatar quote
Well here in Florida people think you're sick if you're pale. I couldn't even keep my NY pastiness!
I'm joking (about the first sentence). I doubt most people care, though it does make it seem like you don't go outside a lot.
Either break up with the girl you have been seeing or ignore the french girl.
Also grow up, you can refuse a girl/women, it's simple, don't answer or talk to her.
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
Good point.
Well they don't call it the Sunshine State for nothing!
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Sorry to hear that. Don't blame yourself though, sometimes things aren't meant to be.
(I know that's not what you want to hear right now but give it time.)
I know she didn't mean to lead me on but I wish I saw signs of it not working out. I wish we didn't spend time cuddling, laughing and teasing each other on Sunday. I wish she didn't accept V-Day date and I wish I didn't plan all this shit and get my hopes up to impress her.
It's the sudden nature of it all that hurts the most. I know I fucked up by investing too quickly but I honestly don't understand why she's ending it and that's killing me right now.
I'm pretty pale and I've been told I'm somewhat feminine, so maybe there is something to it?DatingGAF, do women care if a guy is super pale? I've heard it's considered somewhat feminine, but I'm someone who burns pretty easily, I don't tan. Is a translucent glow alright?
Edit: No avatar quote
That being said I honestly don't mind being feminine at all anyway. Hell, in some ways I try and embrace it since it goes with being a guitarist*.
*That's what I try and tell myself anyway...
I'm very sorry to hear that dude.
It's incredibly easy to get too invested, especially when things are initially going so well.
I'm still feeling pretty low after things ending with the girl I was dating recently, so I know how you feel. One minute I'm perfectly fine, the next something sets me off and I'm thinking about where things went wrong. You (myself included) have just got to remember it simply wasn't meant to be, unfortunately.
Edit:
This.
The girl I was dating (in my opinion) was too cowardly to end things, so she essentially forced my hand instead and I think it's for this reason I've yet to feel any sort of closure.
The feelings for you will pass in no time, I'm sure!
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
She could've gotten busy. She could've been dating several other people and decided that she wanted to pursue something else with them. Maybe she's exclusive with one of them; maybe she's not. Maybe she knew before she accepted the V-Day date. Maybe she didn't.
You'll never know. And it sucks. But knowing wouldn't make any difference: at least she had the decency to tell you directly and to cancel the date with time to spare. This wasn't a last minute cancelation, and she didn't ghost you and leave you wondering "what if."
In the world of dating, she did you a favor.
Now you know that you can't invest too quickly and that you can't focus all of your attention on someone you're not exclusive with. But don't blame yourself. She wouldn't have done those things with you if she didn't like you. The only data point you've learned is that, for whatever reason, she didn't want to pursue things.
On to the next.
You'll be okay.
Thanks everyone. I have handled other relationships better but this is the first one in a long time where I let my guard down. I don't normally even celebrate Valentines Day with girls I'm with ever since junior high but I found this girl amazing in every regard and threw caution to wind and got burned so hard. There was a level compatibility that I didn't even know existed but obviously it was a one way feeling...
I know I will be okay. Every rational part of me is telling me that this will all pass but it literally took me nearly 20 years to even recognize Valentines Day again and the first time that I do, this happens again? Fuck man.... life is so cruel.
I know I will be okay. Every rational part of me is telling me that this will all pass but it literally took me nearly 20 years to even recognize Valentines Day again and the first time that I do, this happens again? Fuck man.... life is so cruel.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Too bad you, me, and Xun can't go out for a beer on Monday. I've made peace with my last breakup, if only because I completely understand the rationale. To make a long story short, she started a new full-time job, had grad school classes three times a week, and her father's cancer returned. She canceled last Friday's date to take an emergency flight home, then told me -- very forthrightly -- that she didn't have the bandwidth for anything in the near-term.
It was the honest and mature thing to do. Sadly, she was one of the few people I've dated that I actually connected with. I'm wondering if, when things quiet down in her life she might be amenable to trying again.
But I'm not waiting (and she wouldn't expect me to). It's just that dating itself is a hassle, and I wish I could skip ahead to Date Three.
I tried Tinder, and honestly, I fucking hate it. I had a few matches, but I didn't feel inspired to message anyone, even the hot ones. There's something about the medium that doesn't comport well with how I do business, I guess. OKCupid is kind of a cesspool, but I just activated my profile and let the messages roll in. So far, I've responded to one. In the two years that I've been in this city, I think 80% of the girls have "liked" me.
I signed up for volunteering tomorrow, because I'm so over this online shit that I'd rather meet someone in person.
Is this not a flag to anyone here?
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Considering he's apparently trying to cheat on her, I'm guessing she was right to be suspicious.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I'm not a stud. And it's very rare that I want to return the messages.
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I've seen AD's profile. He's a stud.
Can confirm, even though he's a pain in the butt 😑
Zeus The Dino
Member
Real nigga problems heh
names2hard4you
Member
Didn't you have an avatar with your own picture before? You looked alright. But even if you didn't, again, looks aren't everything. The messages bit you probably have to work on lol.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Actually, I was saying that, of the unsolicited messages I get, there are very few I'd want to reply to. (I did reply to one this week!) I can't really work on that unless I lower my standards significantly.
Okay, enough about me. :/
names2hard4you
Member
Okay yeah now I understand. I feel you my man, but you gotta understand it is the same for the opposite sex (times 100). Still, you gotta initiate the convo yourself, I'm of the opinion that if you want something well done, you gotta be the one doing it. This includes sending that first message lol.
So... I have a date for Valentine's Day again. I just basically messaged a cute Japanese girl, told her I had a Valentine's Day reservation and was looking for a +1 and if she was interested. She said yes.
The impetus for even messaging anyone was not that I'm over what happened earlier today but that I didn't want to go through the hassle of calling and cancelling the reservation. This year has been really weird for me.
The impetus for even messaging anyone was not that I'm over what happened earlier today but that I didn't want to go through the hassle of calling and cancelling the reservation. This year has been really weird for me.
Pancake Mix
Copied someone else's pancake recipe
That was fast. Best of luck to you. If it works out you might get over the disappointment earlier quicker than you think.
I'm pretty pale and I've been told I'm somewhat feminine, so maybe there is something to it?
That being said I honestly don't mind being feminine at all anyway. Hell, in some ways I try and embrace it since it goes with being a guitarist*.
*That's what I try and tell myself anyway...
Well there was definitely some truth to that in the 1960's-80's (especially the latter) for sure, it was definitely the look. You're not wrong, it can fit well enough with being a guitarist
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