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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Why would any normal human being get upset for no reason what so ever?

There's a reason all right, she knows what it is and deep down it will not hold up to any scrutiny or logic. She knows it, so enter the game playing and arguing over "the principle" if she ever decided to tell you. Ignoring her back does not work, trust me I've tried that too. The only thing that works is to "pretend" to play the game.

Phone once, she won't answer
Wait 1/2 to 1 hour, phone again, she won't answer.
Send a message after 1/2 hour "hey babe what's wrong? What did I do?" Don't expect and answer.

Put your phone down and spend the rest of your time doing whatever you want, play a game, watch a movie go out with your mates. She'll think your sitting alone being taught a lesson and worrying, your not playing her game and getting on with your life. She'll probably message you tomorrow like nothing has happened.

But seriously, consider looking for someone else to date, it's not worth the stress.
 

DJwest

Member
I can't read this girl, GAF. I clearly told her my intentions because I didn't want to end up in the friendzone: I'm interested in her and would like to date. Her answer is "let's keep hanging out and see where this goes". We keep going out together, and honestly always have a great time i make her laugh and she seems genuinely interested in me when we meet) but my status as a boyfriend is still not confirmed... The worse part is that when we chat on the phone, she's the type of person that replies to messages with "k" or other one word responses so it's really difficult for me to gauge her interest. I don't know what to do GAF.
 
I can't read this girl, GAF. I clearly told her my intentions because I didn't want to end up in the friendzone: I'm interested in her and would like to date. Her answer is "let's keep hanging out and see where this goes". We keep going out together, and honestly always have a great time i make her laugh and she seems genuinely interested in me when we meet) but my status as a boyfriend is still not confirmed... The worse part is that when we chat on the phone, she's the type of person that replies to messages with "k" or other one word responses so it's really difficult for me to gauge her interest. I don't know what to do GAF.

We really need a Dating GAF FAQ added to the OP. Whenever you ask a girl out and the reply is ANYTHING other than a hard yes, the actual answer is NO. Brad Pitt test, would she respond just "K" to him? She likes the attention you give her but she's not ever going to be into you. Find someone else.
 

DJwest

Member
We really need a Dating GAF FAQ added to the OP. Whenever you ask a girl out and the reply is ANYTHING other than a hard yes, the actual answer is NO. Brad Pitt test, would she respond just "K" to him? She likes the attention you give her but she's not ever going to be into you. Find someone else.
Well damn. Thanks for putting me in my place. I thought as much but I'm relieved to hear this from someone else.
 

No_Style

Member
I didn't know that was a thing. How can you tell the difference between it being a shyness situation and them just not being that into you? Because I wouldn't mind going on another dat but it can not be anything like the first.

During the date, I would try to make them laugh in order to ease the situation. I've also straight up asked them if they were nervous or shy with the same intent in mind. Obvious bailing out points (dinner after the museum for example) are also opportunities for them to jump off or continue. If they stick around, then it's likely shyness.

But if I were your situation now, I would just ask. "Hey, sorry for ending the date prematurely. I got the feeling that you just weren't interested in me. Was I right or were you just a little shy?"
 

Roufianos

Member
We really need a Dating GAF FAQ added to the OP. Whenever you ask a girl out and the reply is ANYTHING other than a hard yes, the actual answer is NO. Brad Pitt test, would she respond just "K" to him? She likes the attention you give her but she's not ever going to be into you. Find someone else.

This is a bit extreme.

Seems like she's pretty in to him at least as a friend so I doubt she'd knowingly mislead him.

I'd stick with it, women aren't like us at all. We see someone hot and instantly want to fuck / have them as a girlfriend.

Women are a lot more particular, even if they find you attractive, they need a while to know that you're what they're looking for in a boyfriend.
 
I can't read this girl, GAF. I clearly told her my intentions because I didn't want to end up in the friendzone: I'm interested in her and would like to date. Her answer is "let's keep hanging out and see where this goes". We keep going out together, and honestly always have a great time i make her laugh and she seems genuinely interested in me when we meet) but my status as a boyfriend is still not confirmed... The worse part is that when we chat on the phone, she's the type of person that replies to messages with "k" or other one word responses so it's really difficult for me to gauge her interest. I don't know what to do GAF.

So you're just going out as friends? Or are you going out on dates and she just doesn't want to be exclusive yet? A bit confused from your wording.

If you're going out as friends, and she's telling you "let's see how it goes" - it's never going to go anywhere.

Have you made a move? Have you held hands, kissed, etc? Either do one of those next time you hang out, or just stop. You'll get your answer in an instant.

If you've been going out an actual dates and she just isn't sure about exclusivity yet, feel free to give it some time. Though those phone conversations sound awful and not worth your time.

This is a bit extreme.

Seems like she's pretty in to him at least as a friend so I doubt she'd knowingly mislead him.

I'd stick with it, women aren't like us at all. We see someone hot and instantly want to fuck / have them as a girlfriend.

Women are a lot more particular, even if they find you attractive, they need a while to know that you're what they're looking for in a boyfriend.

I disagree. It's not really extreme at all. No reason in wasting your time pining after someone who won't return the same level of interest (as long as your own interest is at a reasonable level). Plenty more people out there to try dating.

Also, don't really agree with your broad generalizations of how men/women act in the dating world. Lots of women just looking to fuck/snag a guy they find attractive right off the bat. All genders can get over invested quickly.
 

DJwest

Member
So you're just going out as friends? Or are you going out on dates and she just doesn't want to be exclusive yet? A bit confused from your wording.

If you're going out as friends, and she's telling you "let's see how it goes" - it's never going to go anywhere.

Have you made a move? Have you held hands, kissed, etc? Either do one of those next time you hang out, or just stop. You'll get your answer in an instant.

If you've been going out an actual dates and she just isn't sure about exclusivity yet, feel free to give it some time. Though those phone conversations sound awful and not worth your time.
Game Over for me then. And like you've mentioned, I never made a move since I felt that she isn't ready. I guess I should stop being delusional. She probably likes me as a friend but isn't interested in more than that. Too bad.
 

Astral

Member
This is the precise thing that pisses me off about girls. If she doesn't want to talk, then fine, I'll give her a taste of her own medicine. I'm personally not going to make any effort if she behaves like a petulant child.

Hit the nail on the head with the "you don't care/understand me". She's used that line a few times already. "Why don't you ever understand me?" and "I'm a girl, this is what I'm like". Am I really meant to believe that just because she's a "woman", she's allowed to act like a total moron? She's well educated and has a good job, so it does confuse me. Why would any normal human being get upset for no reason what so ever?

I'll also add that if you got her this mad in the first place then you obviously don't like her as much as you think you do because otherwise this never would've happened!

/s
 

artsi

Member
I matched with this very sporty girl who's a full-time personal trainer and arranged a date for valentine's day.

She's been actively messaging me and seems nice, also I'm in pretty good shape myself but somehow I feel for the first time in my dating life that someone is out of my league (looks-wise), lol.
 

I know you are attempting to be funny by using a played out meme, but let's consider the differences.

I don't want to waste time, he doesn't want to appear to be a creep.

Because I know that I am not a creep, I don't give a shit about the behavior of other men having some potential, yet unconfirmed, negative effect on the appearance of mine. Women are no more idiotic than men; they can understand the words that you are using and gauge your physical behavior.

So if you can avoid talking like a creep or an idiot or a bore, and aren't a gropey goon, then don't rule out approaching women IRL. If you are crippled by this unreasonable fear, then stick with apps and god bless you.
 
I know you are attempting to be funny by using a played out meme, but let's consider the differences.

I don't want to waste time, he doesn't want to appear to be a creep.

Because I know that I am not a creep, I don't give a shit about the behavior of other men having some potential, yet unconfirmed, negative effect on the appearance of mine. Women are no more idiotic than men; they can understand the words that you are using and gauge your physical behavior.

So if you can avoid talking like a creep or an idiot or a bore, and aren't a gropey goon, then don't rule out approaching women IRL. If you are crippled by this unreasonable fear, then stick with apps and god bless you.

Oh, agreed.

It's so much easier to meet people in person in the right circumstances. People definitely shouldn't ignore that option.

Hell, last night, I turned down two girls at a birthday party (I already knew them, so this isn't much); and then, I rolled into a bar at 1:30 while waiting for my ex and had a group of three girls swoop in and talk to me - one was playing wingwoman for her two seriously hot friends. I have absolutely no doubt that, had I made an effort, I would've gone home with them or gotten their numbers. Yesterday was an absolute confidence boost for me.

But, I was meeting my ex there. And I ended up kinda-sorta ditching the girl who crashed at my place because she didn't want to drive back to Baltimore to spend the night at my ex's place.
 

Lois_Lane

Member
During the date, I would try to make them laugh in order to ease the situation. I've also straight up asked them if they were nervous or shy with the same intent in mind. Obvious bailing out points (dinner after the museum for example) are also opportunities for them to jump off or continue. If they stick around, then it's likely shyness.

But if I were your situation now, I would just ask. "Hey, sorry for ending the date prematurely. I got the feeling that you just weren't interested in me. Was I right or were you just a little shy?"

Will do. Thanks for the advice.
 

klegnug

Neo Member
Hi,

I would like to get some outside perspective on a situation I have gone through that has left me feeling confused & pretty drained.

I had been dating a girl for just over a month, we shared a lot in common, went on dates that I wouldn't expect to be able to find many people to be able to share but we both an an awesome time. I would say we took things at a slow but healthy pace.

This weekend we slept together (a few times) and it was pretty obvious there was chemistry, it just seemed to work.

I am a person who overthinks everything and before this point I was always thinking it wasn't going to go anywhere, after this point I was certain it was.

Seems I had everything backwards, I have been told she loves spending time with me and the things we do, but she thought about it and she is not ready and doesn't think it's fair to me to see me anymore. I do believe she may have some of her own internal things she is dealing with but I don't want to share this on a public forum.

I am pretty much at a loss, I have never experienced anything like this with woman (I'm 30)

Is this something you come across? Internet dating has been one of the most emotionally draining experiences of my life, I am not certain I have the personality to deal with it but it dose seem like the best way to find the few people I feel I can 'click' with.

Maybe it's time to take a break
 
I went to a small party at my friend's house and spent all day playing video games with her and her roommate that I met for the first time. When we are talking about movies, I mentioned that I haven't seen the Breakfast Club, which prompted the roommate to tell me I MUST see it.

She asked me to come over to her house on Valentine's Day (with a direct reference to the "holiday," rather than saying come over on Tuesday.) Is this a not so subtle way of hinting at asking her out, or am I just overthinking things? I'm 29 and haven't had my first kiss yet due to illness and not really interested in romance, so I'd be oblivious to advances under normal circumstances.

I'm going to follow the advice of "ask her out" if this ends up being merely a "let's hang out as friends" situation. We got along well during the event and she's very attractive to me, both in appearance and personality. Thoughts on this?
 

Jokab

Member
I went to a small party at my friend's house and spent all day playing video games with her and her roommate that I met for the first time. When we are talking about movies, I mentioned that I haven't seen the Breakfast Club, which prompted the roommate to tell me I MUST see it.

She asked me to come over to her house on Valentine's Day (with a direct reference to the "holiday," rather than saying come over on Tuesday.) Is this a not so subtle way of hinting at asking her out, or am I just overthinking things? I'm 29 and haven't had my first kiss yet due to illness and not really interested in romance, so I'd be oblivious to advances under normal circumstances.

I'm going to follow the advice of "ask her out" if this ends up being merely a "let's hang out as friends" situation. We got along well during the event and she's very attractive to me, both in appearance and personality. Thoughts on this?

Did she invite only you to her house, on Valentine's day? That's a lock dude. If he invited other people too then it might be nothing, but then again you lose nothing by asking her out.
 
I have been told she loves spending time with me and the things we do, but she thought about it and she is not ready and doesn't think it's fair to me to see me anymore. I do believe she may have some of her own internal things she is dealing with but I don't want to share this on a public forum.

Is this something you come across?

You were just a break from the problems of her life. An island of normality that recharged her batteries and now she'll go back to her life. It's not you it's her. Don't let this one situation take you out the game, it's usual in online dating to match up with people in different situations under the cover of relative anonymity. At least you didn't get ghosted.

get back on the horse and don't give up.
 
Did you... like... break up with your girlfriend?

No I didn't. And I ended up telling the French girl I was busy, but we are meant to later on.

I patched things up with the girl i was seeing. The original girl I was seeing. I just feel like, these opportunities when they have been presented to people i was seeing, they take it. Like, the whole bullshit ' you only live once.' So why can't I be like that?

I also resent women sometimes in relationships because they always are the ones to decide when its casual and when it should start to be more serious. Maybe its just me being a pussy. But men do take out their work stress moodiness on women a lot more than women ever would, they're better on balance, make no mistake.

Is it wrong, to just see people, on the sly, not sleep with, just see to explore your options? And if you meet someone you like then tell the person you are dating? Maybe I'm justifying my own shittiness, but I feel like I want to date around while also having this GF. The thing is, my GF, when she goes out with her friends, she is constantly being chatted up and hit on.

It just seems unfair, that she is constantly in this state of having options being explored whether she is even looking for it, and I cannot be in the same position. I just want parity! I realise I'm being a bit rambly. Will be more coherent from now on. Apologies.
 
The thing is, my GF, when she goes out with her friends, she is constantly being chatted up and hit on.

It just seems unfair, that she is constantly in this state of having options being explored whether she is even looking for it, and I cannot be in the same position. I just want parity

You're quite the insecure shit actually. Women get hit on all the time, like you have no idea and it's not even when they are going out. Man in the supermarket, colleagues even male friends. It's not even a blatant pass in most cases, just a little "joke" or flirt more often than not that would immediately not be a joke/flirt by that man if a woman responded positively to it.

You're worried that she's getting chatted up and are trying to redress the balance by ACTIVELY chatting up other women. There's a big difference between the two. Get over your insecurity, yes you are in the wrong big time.
 

klegnug

Neo Member
Thanks Crazy Bacon,

I guess I am just not having much luck, I got out of an 8 year relationship that ended badly left it quite sometime then started, I guess 'friendship' with a friend of a friend got led on for 4 months, stood up etc etc. I did a lot of things wrong which was my fault and I let it happen - so I changed my approach.

Met another girl - spoke for a couple of weeks only went on one date 'I'm not ready' again I did a few things wrong but she was upfront and I appreciated it.

This latest one, I did right I took my time, but after 6 weeks and getting psychical I don't think telling someone you think they are gorgeous and like seeing them is too 'full on' right? Maybe she will go back to whatever it is she was doing - but I'm just left feeling used I guess, I have never had a one night stand in my life and because the chemistry was so good, it now just leaves a very bad taste in my mouth.

When you have 3 people tell you the same thing you start to think there is something wrong with yourself (again like I say I fully accept the mistakes I made in the first 2 instances but not the 3rd)

It's just so hard to find people with matching interests who are interested in speaking and the last one was such good fun, I wondering how the hell I find someone like that who wants to go further!
 
Thanks Crazy Bacon,

I guess I am just not having much luck, I got out of an 8 year relationship that ended badly left it quite sometime then started, I guess 'friendship' with a friend of a friend got led on for 4 months, stood up etc etc. I did a lot of things wrong which was my fault and I let it happen - so I changed my approach.

The dating landscape can change so fast and if you are out of the game for 8 years it's natural to make some "mistakes" before you get in sync. Don't look at them like failures, just part of the re-learning curve. Sounds like you know where things have gone wrong and have learned from that. Keep going, it might take a while but you'll get better at it.
 

klegnug

Neo Member
The dating landscape can change so fast and if you are out of the game for 8 years it's natural to make some "mistakes" before you get in sync. Don't look at them like failures, just part of the re-learning curve. Sounds like you know where things have gone wrong and have learned from that. Keep going, it might take a while but you'll get better at it.

Ha! I don't think I have ever been in the game might be the problem here. Maybe I do need to think about it more as a game - I get quite invested & I think to myself it's such hard work and hard to find people you get on that well with so why are people so quick to run away. I also don't particularly like speaking to more than one person at a time - I know this is my own choice - I just feel dishonest when I do it.

I have set up another date but this person seems completely different from the type I normally go for I cant see how we have anything in common but I guess that's one way for me not to get my hopes up.
 
Ha! I don't think I have ever been in the game might be the problem here. Maybe I do need to think about it more as a game - I get quite invested & I think to myself it's such hard work and hard to find people you get on that well with so why are people so quick to run away. I also don't particularly like speaking to more than one person at a time - I know this is my own choice - I just feel dishonest when I do it.

I have set up another date but this person seems completely different from the type I normally go for I cant see how we have anything in common but I guess that's one way for me not to get my hopes up.

See, you learn from your mistakes, don't come on too strong too early it can scare people away. Relax and keep your expectations in check. Having things in common is only the opener, being compatible personalities is what is more important than liking the same things.
 

klegnug

Neo Member
See, you learn from your mistakes, don't come on too strong too early it can scare people away. Relax and keep your expectations in check. Having things in common is only the opener, being compatible personalities is what is more important than liking the same things.

Alright Thanks, Yes that's the part I have been toning back - but like I say I thought after the sex etc it might be ok to say a couple of nice things, anyway I need to think of it as you said, not me.

I'll see how it goes on this new date and write back here, thanks for taking the time to answer me, its nice someone impartial thinks it's also not me (because friends are obviously going to say that).
 

gaiages

Banned
I need opinions. I have a close female friend who I've known for years (I'm a guy). Is there ever a time when it's appropriate for me to tell her that she should dump her boyfriend? I know it's not my business, but she always comes to me crying about how he mistreats her and whatnot. I've always assured her that it's normal, and that he could change, even though I don't believe it. If she were a guy, I wouldn't really feel any hesitation saying what I really feel, but it just seems a bit inappropriate... but I'm starting to get concerned about her emotional state and am starting to think she needs a few harsh words.

Yes or no?

I mean... you can tell her flat out what you think, but the likelihood is she's not going to believe you. Maybe being blunt will help her realize what's going on, though.

I mean, it doesn't seem like you're trying to get into her pants (many people that come in here asking something similar are usually "I like this girl but she has a shitty boyfriend"), so it seems like you have her interests at heart. Hopefully she'll be able to realize that.

Either way, you probably shouldn't continue lying and saying stuff you don't mean. Just because she has tits doesn't mean she can't handle the truth.

If any man could answer that he'd be a god. All women do that, your only hope is that your partner does it less than other women or gets over it quickly.

No, not all women are bipolar maniacs. You know, just a heads up. General emotions aren't a bad thing either ;D

I have gotten into the habit of buying small gifts for my GF. Like today the family and I went stopped by a well-known cheese store on the way to somewhere and ended up buying her a nice cheese. Even wrapped it lol. She gets me things too so it's a nice thing we do

That's cute <3

We really need a Dating GAF FAQ added to the OP. Whenever you ask a girl out and the reply is ANYTHING other than a hard yes, the actual answer is NO. Brad Pitt test, would she respond just "K" to him? She likes the attention you give her but she's not ever going to be into you. Find someone else.

Lol, the OP is practically an FAQ, but no one reads it, so... yeah...

;-;

No I didn't. And I ended up telling the French girl I was busy, but we are meant to later on.

I patched things up with the girl i was seeing. The original girl I was seeing. I just feel like, these opportunities when they have been presented to people i was seeing, they take it. Like, the whole bullshit ' you only live once.' So why can't I be like that?

I also resent women sometimes in relationships because they always are the ones to decide when its casual and when it should start to be more serious. Maybe its just me being a pussy. But men do take out their work stress moodiness on women a lot more than women ever would, they're better on balance, make no mistake.

Is it wrong, to just see people, on the sly, not sleep with, just see to explore your options? And if you meet someone you like then tell the person you are dating? Maybe I'm justifying my own shittiness, but I feel like I want to date around while also having this GF. The thing is, my GF, when she goes out with her friends, she is constantly being chatted up and hit on.

It just seems unfair, that she is constantly in this state of having options being explored whether she is even looking for it, and I cannot be in the same position. I just want parity! I realise I'm being a bit rambly. Will be more coherent from now on. Apologies.

Good fucking god.
 
You're quite the insecure shit actually. Women get hit on all the time, like you have no idea and it's not even when they are going out. Man in the supermarket, colleagues even male friends. It's not even a blatant pass in most cases, just a little "joke" or flirt more often than not that would immediately not be a joke/flirt by that man if a woman responded positively to it.

You're worried that she's getting chatted up and are trying to redress the balance by ACTIVELY chatting up other women. There's a big difference between the two. Get over your insecurity, yes you are in the wrong big time.

Heh, I guess I am. But only this time, not ever usually. There are contributing factors. I know they get chatted up all the time. She gets creeps that hit on her all the time at random times of the day.

Part of it is, I know what one of her best friends is like. And Charlotte will always invite me but from time to time they will not be enthusiastic invites, and she used to say " let me ask the friend if its cool." I just find it weird that she has to ask her friend if its cool I come, but she said its about the group dynamics, and I'm cool with that.

But she insists on then always coming when I meet anyone, although she has very recently stopped doing that. Yes, it's true I am being insecure and stupid. Still feel that is a bit unfair though. She gets so jealous when I got out without her, but she will go out with her friends.

The only reason I am responding to the French person is because she is keeping in touch on social media with old lovers, but she tells me about it. A couple people who don't live in the country, who she claims she doesn't even like, and admits only likes one because he is hot, and she doesn't like I have so many female friends. I'm rambling, I am pressed to write these messages so sometimes it's just shit off the top of my head, but yeah, it would be wrong to meet this French person. Only reason I didn't was because I patched it up with Charlotte and I felt to guilty, but I didnt slam the door shut either.

She said she won't talk to old lovers if I don't want her to, but I wasn't sure what was the right thing to say. Isn't it strange? What should one say, just tell her yeah, don't talk to them anymore? She thinks its weird I have so many female friends, but i don't sleep with them. She's in touch with dudes she used to to sleep with, admittedly only like two. She said she only replied to them when she thinks I am being distant, which is fucking ridiculous, even she admits now. I work for a living lol. I have sacrificed my time for her more than she has for me. She's also twice made me show texts from female friends, out of jealousy, but refuses to show her texts, but I didn't care.
 

Jetman

Member
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.
 

Scotch

Member
Maybe I'm justifying my own shittiness, but I feel like I want to date around while also having this GF.
LOL. Well, at least you are honest with us.

I like how you blame your GF for being jealous, and then proceed to prove her right, at least by your thoughts in this thread.

Why do you want to have this girlfriend, anyway? All I've seen you post here are negative things about her. She doesn't sound like a keeper. It seems she has as many trust issues as you have.

Anyway, this is Dating Age, not Cheating Age. How about you give her as much honesty as you've just given us, and just break up with her.

Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.
What's cool or funny about that? Just bring a regular pizza.
 
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.

Yeah... I wouldn't do that... If anything just bring a regular pizza if you want to go through with this.
 
No I didn't. And I ended up telling the French girl I was busy, but we are meant to later on.

I patched things up with the girl i was seeing. The original girl I was seeing. I just feel like, these opportunities when they have been presented to people i was seeing, they take it. Like, the whole bullshit ' you only live once.' So why can't I be like that?

I also resent women sometimes in relationships because they always are the ones to decide when its casual and when it should start to be more serious. Maybe its just me being a pussy. But men do take out their work stress moodiness on women a lot more than women ever would, they're better on balance, make no mistake.

Is it wrong, to just see people, on the sly, not sleep with, just see to explore your options? And if you meet someone you like then tell the person you are dating? Maybe I'm justifying my own shittiness, but I feel like I want to date around while also having this GF. The thing is, my GF, when she goes out with her friends, she is constantly being chatted up and hit on.

It just seems unfair, that she is constantly in this state of having options being explored whether she is even looking for it, and I cannot be in the same position. I just want parity! I realise I'm being a bit rambly. Will be more coherent from now on. Apologies.

Big difference, she's not chatting actively to these other men. You sound weirdly jealous that you don't get hit on as often. Does she consider herself exclusive with you? If so, and you don't, maybe it's time to cut it off.
 
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.

Why would you celebrate Valentine's Day with someone who isn't your significant other?

I have a best female friend too, but I sure as fuck wouldn't get her a heart-shaped anything. We're both single and not interested in each other, so I could manage a "let's go to Shake Shack and pretend like we have V-Day plans," but that's different.

If you have to ask if something is creepy, there's a 100% chance it is.
 
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.

This sounds awful. Don't do it. Seems awfully weird to me. I don't know your relationship with her, so a slice of pizza might be ok, but definitely not heart-shaped.
 
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.

I get the humour of the act. I think it's pretty funny. But like I agree with your friend. Don't go down the path of ambiguity over something as stupid as Valentines day.


Maybe I'm justifying my own shittiness, but I feel like I want to date around while also having this GF.

Yes you are just justifying your shittiness. You don't have to justify it though, you can be shitty if you want. It's your life. However we aren't gonna give you advice on how to effectively be a dickhead. So I mean, do what you want?
 

Solo

Member
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.

You thought wrong. Such a bad idea, do not do this under any circumstance.
 

Jetman

Member
Why would you celebrate Valentine's Day with someone who isn't your significant other?

I have a best female friend too, but I sure as fuck wouldn't get her a heart-shaped anything. We're both single and not interested in each other, so I could manage a "let's go to Shake Shack and pretend like we have V-Day plans," but that's different.

If you have to ask if something is creepy, there's a 100% chance it is.

Welp, I'm currently single, and was going to do it tonight before class. Valentines Day is for her and her fiancé.
I have other female friends who say their best guy friends get them Valentines...something. Whether it's cards, donuts, whatever. To me cards, donuts, and that shit sounds way weird. Pizza was the least harmless thing I could think of.

"Whatev"

I think someone may be lying to themselves...

Hahaha, don't "Detective GAF" me!
 
Hahaha, don't "Detective GAF" me!

The thought of getting anyone a Valentines gift that isn't your significant other implies there is some sort of attraction. Perhaps you are unaware but yeah.

Yee aint know now you know now.

Valentine's Day sure brings out the weirdness in people...

Honestly the whole day is put on a pedestal so much so I get why people stress out about it. If you are in a relationship everyone asks you about it. If you are single all you see is Valentines day stuff everywhere.

Unnecessary societal pressure.
 
Okay, random question for Dating GAF - I have a good female friend who's a bartender, and she has a fiancée. I'm not trying to sleep with her, hook up with her, anything. Headed to the bar tonight for a few drinks before class and thought it would be cool/funny to show up with a heart-shaped pizza, say "Hey lady, what's up? Happy V-Day! Brought you this pizza, lets eat a few slices, share some with the bar, whatev, before I have to go to class" - thought there would be zero creepiness involved with that.
Another female friend says otherwise, and told me there are other connotations to the heart-shaped pizza? Like some couples profess undying love, ask for a hand in marriage, prom date, etc.....Really? Sooo, it's not harmless?

I mean it's not like I'm bringing candles into the bar, and am putting my dick through the pizza box, hahaha.

My god, you lack awareness. You so obviously like her and are trying the good friend back door gambit should she ever break up with her fiancee. You would NEVER even consider this if you had a girlfriend.
 

artsi

Member
I'm glad that valentine's day isn't that big over here, no pressure despite having a date tomorrow. She invited me to her place so just going to chill.
 
I get the humour of the act. I think it's pretty funny. But like I agree with your friend. Don't go down the path of ambiguity over something as stupid as Valentines day.




Yes you are just justifying your shittiness. You don't have to justify it though, you can be shitty if you want. It's your life. However we aren't gonna give you advice on how to effectively be a dickhead. So I mean, do what you want?

I don't know. Maybe read the next post that literally posed questions? Maybe read that, instead of jumping to conclusions and harping on a single sentence?

What I don't meaningless non replies from people who don't bother even reading the posts. Hope that helps you.
LOL. Well, at least you are honest with us.

I like how you blame your GF for being jealous, and then proceed to prove her right, at least by your thoughts in this thread.

Why do you want to have this girlfriend, anyway? All I've seen you post here are negative things about her. She doesn't sound like a keeper. It seems she has as many trust issues as you have.

Anyway, this is Dating Age, not Cheating Age. How about you give her as much honesty as you've just given us, and just break up with her.

LMAO! What are you on out about? Yeah, because the only reason people come here is to sing praises about their SO. Virtually the only reason anyone comes here is because things aint going smooth.

Yes, believe it or not, its extremely easy being honest on an anonymous board full of anonymous people. Don't know why you wouldn't be. Glad it impresses you though :)
 
I don't know. Maybe read the next post that literally posed questions? Maybe read that, instead of jumping to conclusions and harping on a single sentence?

I did read it. It's further justification for being shitty. It doesn't matter how you rationalize this. If you have a significant other you don't chat up other people.

Your current gf doesn't seem like a fit for you based on all the posts you made. She seems to be at a different stage in life and into some fundamentally different things. You mostly seem to be sticking around due to fear of being alone. You can't smash a square peg into a round hole man.

Does this response sound like someone who hasn't been keeping up?

What I don't meaningless non replies from people who don't bother even reading the posts. Hope that helps you.

I'm not the one who needs help. I'm not the one writing paragraphs asking for advice.

Didn't someone here mention that their matches when up like crazy this week? Women insecure that they don't have a date for Tuesday?

Yeah probably. I mean I know a lot of men and women take the day to mean a lot. As a reflection of self worth and desirability if you are single. As a reflection relationship strength and stability if you are in a relationship.

I don't really think I can judge it as good or bad though. I just can't personally base anything about my life around one day.

I'm glad that valentine's day isn't that big over here, no pressure despite having a date tomorrow. She invited me to her place so just going to chill.

North America loves to go all in on the self defined "special" days.
 
Im definitely overthinking this but I'm curious to hear opinions. Met a girl at a party 1 week ago, got her number, been texting and I asked her out. She asked me when would be good to meet, I offered Wednesday and we set a date.

Would she think anything of the fact I didnt say Tuesday instead (being v-day and all) ? Is v-day a good day for a 1st date or would it have put a little too much pressure? Should even mention v-day at all when I see her Wednesday ?

I was free on Tuesday tbh, but I didn't want to seem over-invested by picking that day for a 1st rendez-vous.

Like I said, I am absolutely overthinking this.
 
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