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[dreamcastmaster]

I can honestly say that reading that literally made my stomach turn. You have to get out of there, man. You have to. That's hell on Earth.

You're being emotionally abused, and it's time for you to become courageous and say "enough is enough." The version of her that you're in love with no longer exists, and you absolutely cannot let your nostalgia for the good times glue you to this demoralizing new version of her for a second longer. All you want is just a glimpse of the girl you fell for, but all you'll get is the girl that tears you down. It's vile.

Right now, she believes she has absolute power over you, and sees you as too weak of a man to ever walk away. That's why she treats you the way she does -- she knows she can get away with it, and that you will keep taking any kick to the gut she pleases. Whether it's your personality, intelligence, actions, or even your weight (my goodness, dude), she clearly enjoys finding new ways to dismantle your self-worth.

It doesn't matter what your personal situation is. No one has a right to misuse a loving partner like that. Moreover, no amount of stress she's dealing with in her own life justifies the treatment you're enduring. You did not enter this relationship to be anyone's punching bag. Work issues, financial issues, staffing issues -- you name it, and it still doesn't excuse calling you fat, idiotic, or any other name in the book.

When a person cares more about the condition of their toilet seat than your feelings, that person doesn't deserve the gift of your love and support. Let that sink in for a second.

Stick around any longer, and she could very well ruin you from the inside out. This is urgent, man. You need to leave as soon as possible.

This post completly nails it, that behaviour is exactly the same as my ex wife. I had enough and divorced her, and she still shit talks me to my family and anyone she knows. Its all in her had as it always was.

I've remarried and my new wife cannot understand the behaviour of the ex wife. My new marriage is just incredible and I didnt need to change anything about myself.

 

[Benzychenz]

Went out clubbing last night and my friend invited a girl along that he wanted to get with (I'm pretty sure he's hooked up with her in the past), and she kept holding my hand and grabbing my ass on the dancefloor all night, and at the end of the night hugged me and whispered "you are so gorgeous" in my ear.

I wanted to initiate something with her but I couldn't do it to the other guy haha. If I bump into her when he's not around though...

 

[watdaeff4]

Getting mad about the toilet seat is actually a thing....?
lol

Usually a sign of something else they are pissed at and not telling you for whatever reason.

My wife brings up the toliet seat every once in awhile, but I know there is something else and we wind up hashing that out instead and move on.

 

[inked_illusion]

Don't know exactly where to put this, so here goes:

Just went to one of my outings to a barcade by myself. It was newly built (about a month ago) and honestly it kicks the shit out of the old barcade downtown. It even has a Third Strike arcade machine (which I freaked out on and proceeded to spend half my tokens on) but that's not the point.

I learned a lot from the whole thing, mainly about getting yourself out there. Maybe it was because it was the hot new bar in town so everybody you could think of was there, good or bad. There were quite a bit of people genuinely there to have fun, but most (at least on the dancefloor) had other things in mind. Once the whole dancefloor opened up and people started dancing to the usual club songs. I can see from a mile away pickup artists and those that aren't doing their thing. I tried getting a phone number but my approach was off so got rejected, no big deal.

What really bugged me was these two guys who basically did their shtick right off Mystery Method play by play. They dressed up in Oktoberfest get ups and started just threw themselves at people. It was funny at first, but they did to every single chick that was dancing. I mainly danced just for the hell of it, people joined and that was it.

Then one of those guys just tried to mack on this one girl way too fast. Here's the problem: she already had a boyfriend. So that ended really badly and instead of just quitting they just did their thing again. I felt sad but mostly angry cause they basically killed the vibe of the bar which was to have fun.

Then again once these guys did their thing, I can tell exactly which guy was just there to get laid and those that were genuinely having fun. I was mainly passive and left half an hour before the bar closed. It wasn't a total loss as I got a stripper poster from some random dude at the dancefloor and a hat that just dropped.

Overall, going to bars is quite fun (probably more so as a group of friends than solo which I did) but it's not my cup of tea. I can do this every once in a while, but doing this on a weekly basis is insane. Also, drank like one pint (didn't wanna get in a habit of drinking too much) and drove home safely. Anyways, thanks for reading.

 

[Incendiary]

So say you find a friend's sibling attractive, any advice or etiquette on that?

 

[names2hard4you]

So say you find a friend's sibling attractive, any advice or etiquette on that?

"Fam your <insert family member> is hot. Wanna link me up?". Can't get any easier than this. Person's your friend, so you should be able to be open with them.

 

[EchoChamber]

I'm not sure if this belong here but...I think a friend wants to fuck me like seriously want me to be inside her, but I don't find her attractive at all, is there a way to tell her that I don't want to fuck her without hurting her feelings?

 

[Ray Wonder]

The fun thing is there is no real answer : You know each other best to decide.

One of my exes started planning months out after only two weeks; I was too young and stupid to appreciate her crazy love.

How old are you? Typically I'd say give at least a few months for "love" and defining - Enjoy yourself together without worrying about labels - but everyone is different. Personally at 19-25 that freaked me out, but at 29 I'd find it flattering since I've learned how hard it is to find a decent woman.

26 and I like it. I'll just go with the flow, and see what happens.

I'm not sure if this belong here but...I think a friend wants to fuck me like seriously want me to be inside her, but I don't find her attractive at all, is there a way to tell her that I don't want to fuck her without hurting her feelings?

Maybe

I don't want to ruin our friendship with sex. I value it too much to complicate it.

Brush it off, until she explicitly says "I want to fuck"

"I got aids."

Fuck her and stop being so selfish lol

 

[gaiages]

I'm not sure if this belong here but...I think a friend wants to fuck me like seriously want me to be inside her, but I don't find her attractive at all, is there a way to tell her that I don't want to fuck her without hurting her feelings?

"No thanks, I only see you as a friend."

If she takes offense, that's her problem, not yours.

 

[bluethree]

My Tinder matches have exploded over the weekend. Something like 40+. I dunno if it has to do with the slight update to my profile (I just added "Not just here for hookups - seriously!") or just dumb luck.

(Not actively looking for anything serious, but it is true I don't just want a ons or anything).

 

[brawly]

I'm not sure if this belong here but...I think a friend wants to fuck me like seriously want me to be inside her, but I don't find her attractive at all, is there a way to tell her that I don't want to fuck her without hurting her feelings?

"I don't want to ruin our friendship".

My Tinder matches have exploded over the weekend. Something like 40+. I dunno if it has to do with the slight update to my profile (I just added "Not just here for hookups - seriously!") or just dumb luck.

(Not actively looking for anything serious, but it is true I don't just want a ons or anything).

Holy shit. Don't think I've had that much ever. I'm really choosy but still.

 

[bluethree]

It really varies for me. Usually it's 2-3 a day at best. If I restart my account it blows up too (one time I got 100+ over a weekend) but then it dries up again. People where I live really do use Tinder for a lot more than just casual sex, so it kind of makes sense here.

I'm also seeing a slight increase in girls sending the first message.

 

[Spinluck]

Where do some of you guys live? Jesus.

I live in the redneck capital of Florida so there's not too much action, but I'll get matches.

 

[ZeronosVega]

Where do some of you guys live? Jesus.

I live in the redneck capital of Florida so there's not too much action, but I'll get matches.

South Georgia, so most of my results are from Tallahassee or surrounding cities. Had a few matches, but nothing even close to that.

 

[bluethree]

Well, in a metro area of 30 million people, it's not that hard. Still go through matching dry spells though, and yeah I know how dire it can be in rural areas.

 

[gaiages]

Where do some of you guys live? Jesus.

I live in the redneck capital of Florida so there's not too much action, but I'll get matches.

Bruh redneck capital ftw *high fives*

Spoiler

Not ftw obviously

I thought Tinder was pretty good in Tally, but that's just what my friends used. I saw a lot of people on OKC when I used it.

But compared to like NYC or any major city, most social things are gonna be pretty shitty in comparison.

 

[TipsyArchmage]

"Fam your <insert family member> is hot. Wanna link me up?". Can't get any easier than this. Person's your friend, so you should be able to be open with them.

I would be sooooo weirded out if a friend said that to me

 

[ZeronosVega]

Bruh redneck capital ftw *high fives*

Spoiler

Not ftw obviously

I thought Tinder was pretty good in Tally, but that's just what my friends used. I saw a lot of people on OKC when I used it.

But compared to like NYC or any major city, most social things are gonna be pretty shitty in comparison.

OKC has a good number of people from Tallahassee and the surrounding area. I live in a small town right now and there's really no one from there, so Tallahassee is where most everyone is. Means I have to travel some to meet up, but that's fine. I like driving and road trips.

 

[jadedm17]

Here's a question : How do you tell if someone is interested in being friends?....

Update : She invited herself over essentially, so hopefully in 90 minutes when she gets off we'll be playing board games with some other coworkers.

Spoiler

My county is one of those barbaric places that closes liquor stores on Sundays and I have tequila; I'll take it, like getting a job I'm horrible at applications but I'll destroy an interview and kick ass at any job I put my mind to : A foot in the door is all I need.

 

[CreepingFear]

Should I actually pay for sites like OKC or Tinder? Does that help at all?

 

[M52B28]

I would be sooooo weirded out if a friend said that to me

A friend of mine a while back mentioned my sister by saying "Dude, your sister has some thighs." or some other benign shit. I wasn't offended, but knowing my friend, I just told him not to bother my sister. He fired back and said, "how are you going to stop me from talking to your sister."

Pretty awkward to have said to me.

Should I actually pay for sites like OKC or Tinder? Does that help at all?

If you can't land proper dates without the addition of paid add-ons, don't expect for it to help much. I paid for OKC with my Google Play credits and found that it frustrated me even more when it told me when girls viewed my messages, but never responded. After that, I just immediately went and disabled my account.

Better chances of going out in person and meeting women. Those sites make it seem like you're going to benefit quite a bit from having their "premium" services, but it's more of the same shit with a few more privileges.

Update : She invited herself over essentially, so hopefully in 90 minutes when she gets off we'll be playing board games with some other coworkers.

Spoiler

My county is one of those barbaric places that closes liquor stores on Sundays and I have tequila; I'll take it, like getting a job I'm horrible at applications but I'll destroy an interview and kick ass at any job I put my mind to : A foot in the door is all I need.

This is the 19 y/o, am I right? Sure, if you like her or she likes you, that good, but involving any alcohol is a bad idea, especially if you're going to be with other co-workers.

I'm pretty confused, so I'd like to think that my assumption is wrong.

 

[Spinluck]

A friend of mine a while back mentioned my sister by saying "Dude, your sister has some thighs." or some other benign shit. I wasn't offended, but knowing my friend, I just told him not to bother my sister. He fired back and said, "how are you going to stop me from talking to your sister."

Pretty awkward to have said to me.


If you can't land proper dates without the addition of paid add-ons, don't expect for it to help much. I paid for OKC with my Google Play credits and found that it frustrated me even more when it told me when girls viewed my messages, but never responded. After that, I just immediately went and disabled my account.

Better chances of going out in person and meeting women. Those sites make it seem like you're going to benefit quite a bit from having their "premium" services, but it's more of the same shit with a few more privileges.

This is the 19 y/o, am I right? Sure, if you like her or she likes you, that good, but involving any alcohol is a bad idea, especially if you're going to be with other co-workers.

I'm pretty confused, so I'd like to think that my assumption is wrong.

Going out and meeting girls will always be better. Online is great for convenience, and I'm finding a lot of girls are leaning towards it now. But just going out is great because you don't have to worry about bullshots among other things. Of course, this doesn't mean you won't be flaked or ghosted. There's also the hurdle of them actually saying yes to a date lol.

 

[names2hard4you]

I would be sooooo weirded out if a friend said that to me

I mean you don't actually say that, it was a joke LOL. But you can ask your friend if she's single or seeing someone. If you aren't a piece of shit, chances are your friend wouldn't mind introducing you. I mean the other person has a brain of their own as well and could instantly say no to the whole thing and that would be that. But if you find them attractive, best way to connect with them is by speaking to someone that knows them.

That being said that date that I had setup for last week? I didn't report about it, but it was a flake out. She was tired, didn't feel like going out, didn't suggest a new time, blah blah. I just cut it off shortly after, we stopped talking. I have been talking to this other girl though, same background as me, same age, pretty cute too. I have the craziest week ahead of me in terms of school, so we agreed to go out Friday night. Fingers crossed for this one to not be a bust too.

 

[M52B28]

Is it a good idea to use volunteering as a date? I do a good amount of volunteer work, and I feel like I get to know people and how they work really well.

What do you all suggest?

 

[eyeball_kid]

When a person cares more about the condition of their toilet seat than your feelings, that person doesn't deserve the gift of your love and support. Let that sink in for a second.

Stick around any longer, and she could very well ruin you from the inside out. This is urgent, man. You need to leave as soon as possible.

Cosigned. Emotionally abusive relationships can really fuck you up. Get out asap.

 

[HolySheep]

So i have this really good friend. I never actually thought about her in a romantic way before. 4 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend and people startet after a while to suggest that we should date or whatever. And after a while i started seeing her in a new light.

I know she doesnt see me that way, and i also know the she probably never will. The thing is i dont really feel happy being around her or talking to her anymore. So i am starting to wonder if i should cut off contact with her until the feelings go away( however long that may be). Its making me feel really selfish though.. and how would i even do it? Do i tell her? or do i just phase her out?

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

 

[Mediking]

I got some crazy high confidence going on... I dunno what triggered it....

 

[Llyranor]

Is it a good idea to use volunteering as a date? I do a good amount of volunteer work, and I feel like I get to know people and how they work really well.

What do you all suggest?

I could see the appeal. What kind of volunteering, though? And not as a first date.

 

[M52B28]

I could see the appeal. What kind of volunteering, though? And not as a first date.

So, you wouldn't suggest it for a first date, that makes sense, but it's something interesting. Maybe a 2nd or 3rd date.

I used to "work" for Habitat for Humanity for a few months in the winter, so usually, when I volunteered, I'd be working on houses, and tearing down walls to replace them, installing code doorways, you know, light construction work.

We sometimes did heavy gardening like tearing out overgrown rose bushes (Thorns!!), and whacking overgrowth out of yards to make building space.

Anyways, that's what I had in mind for a date sometime. You can choose tasks like painting and such, but really, you can do what you want.

What do you think about it? I got to know people very well by just working along side them, and despite it being sometimes heavy work, it's actually fairly social.

 

[Ray Wonder]

So, you wouldn't suggest it for a first date, that makes sense, but it's something interesting. Maybe a 2nd or 3rd date.

I used to "work" for Habitat for Humanity for a few months in the winter, so usually, when I volunteered, I'd be working on houses, and tearing down walls to replace them, installing code doorways, you know, light construction work.

We sometimes did heavy gardening like tearing out overgrown rose bushes (Thorns!!), and whacking overgrowth out of yards to make building space.

Anyways, that's what I had in mind for a date sometime. You can choose tasks like painting and such, but really, you can do what you want.

What do you think about it?

To me, that sounds boring af. I'm just not into that type of thing though. To the right person that might seem like a dream date.

 

[M52B28]

To me, that sounds boring af. I'm just not into that type of thing though. To the right person that might seem like a dream date.

Hmm, I guess to some people, but it's something worth trying.

The girl I know seems interested in philanthropic type things, that's partially why I'm suggest it.

Give it a try &#128523;, you might like knocking walls out with a sledgehammer. For me, it's perfect. I like working on projects, so being able to turn around and see the progress that you've made is really satisfying, that and seeing the homeowner's face when they notice the work you've done.

 

[gwailo]

So, you wouldn't suggest it for a first date, that makes sense, but it's something interesting. Maybe a 2nd or 3rd date.

I used to "work" for Habitat for Humanity for a few months in the winter, so usually, when I volunteered, I'd be working on houses, and tearing down walls to replace them, installing code doorways, you know, light construction work.

We sometimes did heavy gardening like tearing out overgrown rose bushes (Thorns!!), and whacking overgrowth out of yards to make building space.

Anyways, that's what I had in mind for a date sometime. You can choose tasks like painting and such, but really, you can do what you want.

What do you think about it? I got to know people very well by just working along side them, and despite it being sometimes heavy work, it's actually fairly social.

I've done that work for Habitat for Humanity. Not a good date idea. Most people don't like manual labor.

I know she doesnt see me that way, and i also know the she probably never will. The thing is i dont really feel happy being around her or talking to her anymore. So i am starting to wonder if i should cut off contact with her until the feelings go away( however long that may be). Its making me feel really selfish though.. and how would i even do it? Do i tell her? or do i just phase her out?

Why would that make you feel selfish? If anything, keeping her around as a friend while you're pining away for her is selfish because you're not being her friend to be a friend, you're sticking around to try and find an in to being her boyfriend. I would just be honest with her and then delete her contact info.

 

[Dr. Kitty Muffins]

Alright I started dating a younger woman at work recently. At the time she is 21 and I am 36. You heard me. She seems to love it and everyone seems think we are just this amazing couple. I'm getting compliments from everyone. Keep in mind I stopped dating for 4 years because I was in college and working full time. Many of these people were just glad I found someone. No one really had a problem with the ages. She acts like she wants to meet my mom soon and tries to find out what video game to get me for my upcoming birthday. Then she backs out.

When we first went out she had not told she had been with a guy for 6 months. He found out about me and contacted me. I made her break up with him although she farted around about it saying she was going to. During the dating phase, she wrecked her car and got sick at the same time. Her grandfather was able to drive her but I begged each day to drive her back and forth. In the 3 weeks we were dating, we ate out together on dates before, during and sometimes after work on about 15 or 16 days. We spoke to each other tons. We spoke for hours in the car. We had a unbelievable amount in common. We both enjoyed the difference in age and seemed to enjoy touching each other. We kissed. We both were constantly coming up with date ideas and scheduling dates in the near future.... some would take place months away even. She was so glued to my side while walking I was scared I would trip. She seemed more into me than any woman ever has. I took care of her while she was sick. I helped her while puking and wiped stuff off her face. I did all the little things right during that time. I impressed everyone around. Women said they wanted a guy just like me.

Less than one week after telling me that she had been in long term relationships since she was 15 and needed a break we go to an anime convention together. When we broke up she said she could tell I wanted something serious and she couldn't lead me on any longer about wanting that too. I'm thinking it's a date even if she isn't calling it one. I buy her way in the first day and give her my friends pass the second. She Introduces me to her friends and it seems like it is really important to her that we all approve of each other. She seems to be thrilled that we all like each other. She keeps talking about our food and music bond. We have tons in common including our favorite bands and movies. We both love games and Anime, etc. We take pictures together and post them online. There is one problem, she seems to be attracted to one of them. Her body language between me and him is identical. She gets super close and isn't afraid to touch both ways. At times, one or the other is getting frozen out. We both get plenty of attention but this guy is so much better looking than me it shouldn't be a competition. I'm confused. At times it feels like a date between her and I or a date between her and him. She isn't afraid to touch either of us in casual ways. She says she has known him for 7 years. I'm hoping I'm misreading things.

After day 2 she tells me that she wants to buy me a birthday gift and sets up a dinner date and a movie date and she will pay since I'm always paying for her. Except she isn't calling them dates. And I'm a bit unsure of what what her intentions are and what I am to her.

So I tell her I didn't like the body language between him and her and I am confused. I told her I'm still pursuing her. I didn't want to mention it but I had to tell her. I was clearly frustrated but didn't want to blow things. Later I said I didn't want to talk to her because I'm mad. If she can attend the convention before work then go ahead without me. I end up going and she doesn't. She messages back later in the day from work a ton of messages. You can tell she is scared and doesn't want me upset and she is begging me to discuss it with her. She apologizes for the body language, etc. We both apologize in fact. I simply apologize several times for being upset/jealous and we are back on for the dinner and the movie meet ups. I didn't ask about the birthday gift but I did send her a picture of the keychain I then bought her at the convention. She says not to chase after her because she can't get romantic with me but she wants to continue hanging out all the time.

So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.

 

[Ray Wonder]

She says not to chase after her because she can't get romantic with me but she wants to continue hanging out all the time.

So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.

That's a lot, and kinda confusing at times. She said she was in a relationship 6 months ago, yet she was actually still in that relationship?

Although, what I quoted was really all I needed. If you want to be friends with her, be friends. I wouldn't ever expect to do anything else though. And I would even go as far as saying that being her friend only because you think you have the potential to be romantic with her in the future, is creepy. Especially when she told you explicitly that she can't.

Sounds like she's just a friendly person, that thinks you're an ok chap. And wouldn't mind hanging out with you every once in a while.

 

[gwailo]

You are WAY WAY WAY too much into this girl to be her friend. Seriously dude, dating someone for 3 weeks doesn't warrant a wall of text like that and you're going to make yourself miserable hanging out with her.

Your way out is to stop talking with her. She's playing with your emotions and probably keeping you around for the attention and as a "nice guy" back up.

 

[ZackieChan]

Hmm, I guess to some people, but it's something worth trying.

The girl I know seems interested in philanthropic type things, that's partially why I'm suggest it.

Give it a try &#55357;&#56843;, you might like knocking walls out with a sledgehammer. For me, it's perfect. I like working on projects, so being able to turn around and see the progress that you've made is really satisfying, that and seeing the homeowner's face when they notice the work you've done.

That sounds like a terrible first date. Get to know them, feel out if they're interested, then maybe do it later. Not when you first meet them, though.

Ridiculously long post

3 weeks, dude? I know you've been out of the game for a while, but you're getting way too wrapped up in this girl. Why not date others - that will get you right out of the friendzone, because you won't give a shit. She'll either try to get you back, or she won't, but you will make it clear that you don't want to be just friends and you won't play games.

edit: ^ hah, he beat me to it!

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I know she doesnt see me that way, and i also know the she probably never will. The thing is i dont really feel happy being around her or talking to her anymore. So i am starting to wonder if i should cut off contact with her until the feelings go away( however long that may be). Its making me feel really selfish though.. and how would i even do it? Do i tell her? or do i just phase her out?

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

Lol don't tell her shit. Delete number. Block it and move on. I seee this all the time, a lot of people talk about not getting closure, you don't actually want closure or the drama involved. You don't owe someone an explanation of why you can't chill. You just do your own fucking thing and they get the message.

Going "I like you and I know you don't feel the same way so we cant be friends" is just inviting issues. Just do your own thing, let people reach their own conclusion.

 

[hydrophilic attack]

Pretty sure I missed my chance with the girl at my job. I had tried to ask her out for a drink a couple of times and she said she was busy, so I took this as a "not interested" and backed off a bit. Then on Friday she made sure to leave the office at the same time as me and she was dressed up very nicely. I asked her what her plans for the weekend were and she said "nothing". This is where I should have asked her out again, but I didn't because I thought it would have been pathetic to ask her a third time after she had already said "not tonight" twice. But I'm pretty sure she wanted me to ask her out on Friday and I missed my chance. She seemed much colder than usual today. Oh well.

And today the thirstiest dude ever is back at work, and he told me he's making a move. I should probably just get out of the whole situation. It's a bit pathetic that three different guys in ou short corridor is hitting on her at the same time.

 

[Chorazin]

So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.

Don't be that guy pining for a girl for years while being "the nice guy" wondering why she's always dating other people. It will just make you bitter and resentful while opportunities pass you by.

Talk to her like an adult. "Hey, I really like you. Do you want to give dating a shot, or are you not looking for something long term right now?" When she says she's not (she's fucking 21 dude, you can't fault her for wanting to be young and carefree right now.) Say ok, cool, friends it is and look elsewhere.

You're into anime, you're older, LOTS of chicks in that scene are into older guys from what I've observed. As long as you're not creepy you're pretty much in it to win it. Hit the gym, cosplay as some awesome dude. reap the fruits of your labor.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Alright I started dating a younger woman at work recently. At the time she is 21 and I am 36. You heard me. She seems to love it and everyone seems think we are just this amazing couple. I'm getting compliments from everyone. Keep in mind I stopped dating for 4 years because I was in college and workingo full time. Many of these people were just glad I found someone. No one really had a problem with the ages. She acts like she wants to meet my mom soon and tries to find out what video game to get me for my upcoming birthday. Then she backs out.

When we first went out she had not told she had been with a guy for 6 months. He found out about me and contacted me. I made her break up with him although she farted around about it saying she was going to. During the dating phase, she wrecked her car and got sick at the same time. Her grandfather was able to drive her but I begged each day to drive her back and forth. In the 3 weeks we were dating, we ate out together on dates before, during and sometimes after work on about 15 or 16 days. We spoke to each other tons. We spoke for hours in the car. We had a unbelievable amount in common. We both enjoyed the difference in age and seemed to enjoy touching each other. We kissed. We both were constantly coming up with date ideas and scheduling dates in the near future.... some would take place months away even. She was so glued to my side while walking I was scared I would trip. She seemed more into me than any woman ever has. I took care of her while she was sick. I helped her while puking and wiped stuff off her face. I did all the little things right during that time. I impressed everyone around. Women said they wanted a guy just like me.

Less than one week after telling me that she had been in long term relationships since she was 15 and needed a break we go to an anime convention together. When we broke up she said she could tell I wanted something serious and she couldn't lead me on any longer about wanting that too. I'm thinking it's a date even if she isn't calling it one. I buy her way in the first day and give her my friends pass the second. She Introduces me to her friends and it seems like it is really important to her that we all approve of each other. She seems to be thrilled that we all like each other. She keeps talking about our food and music bond. We have tons in common including our favorite bands and movies. We both love games and Anime, etc. We take pictures together and post them online. There is one problem, she seems to be attracted to one of them. Her body language between me and him is identical. She gets super close and isn't afraid to touch both ways. At times, one or the other is getting frozen out. We both get plenty of attention but this guy is so much better looking than me it shouldn't be a competition. I'm confused. At times it feels like a date between her and I or a date between her and him. She isn't afraid to touch either of us in casual ways. She says she has known him for 7 years. I'm hoping I'm misreading things.

After day 2 she tells me that she wants to buy me a birthday gift and sets up a dinner date and a movie date and she will pay since I'm always paying for her. Except she isn't calling them dates. And I'm a bit unsure of what what her intentions are and what I am to her.

So I tell her I didn't like the body language between him and her and I am confused. I told her I'm still pursuing her. I didn't want to mention it but I had to tell her. I was clearly frustrated but didn't want to blow things. Later I said I didn't want to talk to her because I'm mad. If she can attend the convention before work then go ahead without me. I end up going and she doesn't. She messages back later in the day from work a ton of messages. You can tell she is scared and doesn't want me upset and she is begging me to discuss it with her. She apologizes for the body language, etc. We both apologize in fact. I simply apologize several times for being upset/jealous and we are back on for the dinner and the movie meet ups. I didn't ask about the birthday gift but I did send her a picture of the keychain I then bought her at the convention. She says not to chase after her because she can't get romantic with me but she wants to continue hanging out all the time.

So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.

You know how ridiculous this sounds right? Like read this to yourself and tell me it isn't fucking stupid. Never talk to this girl again.

 

[Spinluck]

Alright I started dating a younger woman at work recently. At the time she is 21 and I am 36. You heard me. She seems to love it and everyone seems think we are just this amazing couple. I'm getting compliments from everyone. Keep in mind I stopped dating for 4 years because I was in college and working full time. Many of these people were just glad I found someone. No one really had a problem with the ages. She acts like she wants to meet my mom soon and tries to find out what video game to get me for my upcoming birthday. Then she backs out.

When we first went out she had not told she had been with a guy for 6 months. He found out about me and contacted me. I made her break up with him although she farted around about it saying she was going to. During the dating phase, she wrecked her car and got sick at the same time. Her grandfather was able to drive her but I begged each day to drive her back and forth. In the 3 weeks we were dating, we ate out together on dates before, during and sometimes after work on about 15 or 16 days. We spoke to each other tons. We spoke for hours in the car. We had a unbelievable amount in common. We both enjoyed the difference in age and seemed to enjoy touching each other. We kissed. We both were constantly coming up with date ideas and scheduling dates in the near future.... some would take place months away even. She was so glued to my side while walking I was scared I would trip. She seemed more into me than any woman ever has. I took care of her while she was sick. I helped her while puking and wiped stuff off her face. I did all the little things right during that time. I impressed everyone around. Women said they wanted a guy just like me.

Less than one week after telling me that she had been in long term relationships since she was 15 and needed a break we go to an anime convention together. When we broke up she said she could tell I wanted something serious and she couldn't lead me on any longer about wanting that too. I'm thinking it's a date even if she isn't calling it one. I buy her way in the first day and give her my friends pass the second. She Introduces me to her friends and it seems like it is really important to her that we all approve of each other. She seems to be thrilled that we all like each other. She keeps talking about our food and music bond. We have tons in common including our favorite bands and movies. We both love games and Anime, etc. We take pictures together and post them online. There is one problem, she seems to be attracted to one of them. Her body language between me and him is identical. She gets super close and isn't afraid to touch both ways. At times, one or the other is getting frozen out. We both get plenty of attention but this guy is so much better looking than me it shouldn't be a competition. I'm confused. At times it feels like a date between her and I or a date between her and him. She isn't afraid to touch either of us in casual ways. She says she has known him for 7 years. I'm hoping I'm misreading things.

After day 2 she tells me that she wants to buy me a birthday gift and sets up a dinner date and a movie date and she will pay since I'm always paying for her. Except she isn't calling them dates. And I'm a bit unsure of what what her intentions are and what I am to her.

So I tell her I didn't like the body language between him and her and I am confused. I told her I'm still pursuing her. I didn't want to mention it but I had to tell her. I was clearly frustrated but didn't want to blow things. Later I said I didn't want to talk to her because I'm mad. If she can attend the convention before work then go ahead without me. I end up going and she doesn't. She messages back later in the day from work a ton of messages. You can tell she is scared and doesn't want me upset and she is begging me to discuss it with her. She apologizes for the body language, etc. We both apologize in fact. I simply apologize several times for being upset/jealous and we are back on for the dinner and the movie meet ups. I didn't ask about the birthday gift but I did send her a picture of the keychain I then bought her at the convention. She says not to chase after her because she can't get romantic with me but she wants to continue hanging out all the time.

So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.

Part ways man. This shit is painful. You're giving me flashes.

This will do you no good, because all you'll think about is being with her. If she doesn't want that then you'll just end up in an emotional purgatory.

Don't let them use you because they're too messed up or scarred to know what they even want. Find someone who truly wants to be with you or spend time with you if that's what you want. No waiting around!

 

[Astral]

Muffin man, you're the back-up.

 

[jadedm17]

This is the 19 y/o, am I right? Sure, if you like her or she likes you, that good, but involving any alcohol is a bad idea, especially if you're going to be with other co-workers.

I'm pretty confused, so I'd like to think that my assumption is wrong.

We work at a restaurant, most typical "dont date coworkers" and similar "rules" don't apply since we have no real effect on each other's work, have so many on staff we never really see each other most days and have a higher turnover than office life; As for alcohol it's all about being responsible. Restaurants are about spending all day bitching at each other then going out drinking.

We played some games and drank margaritas.
She texted me when she was home (something I didn't request but my tone through the evening is always safety first so I liked she did) and I texted we should grab food today since we're both off. That was around 3:30 AM and she hasn't texted back so ball is in her court as they say.

My main hope is just that she's open to the idea and doesn't think I'm just trying to hookup : She's a genuinely interesting person and I'd love to spend time later just talking.

 

[names2hard4you]

Jeez Muffin, this is bad news man. You gotta get the fuck out of that. It's not doing you any good.

 

[gaiages]

So i have this really good friend. I never actually thought about her in a romantic way before. 4 months ago she broke up with her boyfriend and people startet after a while to suggest that we should date or whatever. And after a while i started seeing her in a new light.

I know she doesnt see me that way, and i also know the she probably never will. The thing is i dont really feel happy being around her or talking to her anymore. So i am starting to wonder if i should cut off contact with her until the feelings go away( however long that may be). Its making me feel really selfish though.. and how would i even do it? Do i tell her? or do i just phase her out?

Has anyone been in a similar situation?

You could actually ask her out instead of just assuming her feelings. Unless you've already confronted her about said feelings.

If she says no, then yeah, just cutting her out is best

 

[jadedm17]

So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.

This is enlightening reading it from the other perspective.

There isn't a way out : I did this to a girl recently that I dated a while; We broke up and I still wanted to do everything (pool bbq, late night game sessions, movies, dinners, etc) without the physical connection.

I hate the term "friend zone" : I wasn't interested romantically but I loved her friendship.
That wasn't enough for her. You have to decide if you can seperate.

 

[M52B28]

That sounds like a terrible first date. Get to know them, feel out if they're interested, then maybe do it later. Not when you first meet them, though.

Yeah, it's something I wouldn't mention as a firstdate, but only an activity I'd suggest after one or two dates.

 

[Armadilo]

I need some advice, so I was supposed to go on a date on Wednesday but had to reschedule until the next week, so the question is How much should I text her ? at least once a day/ whenever ? ask her questions, what do I do guys ?

 

[M52B28]

I need some advice, so I was supposed to go on a date on Wednesday but had to reschedule until the next week, so the question is How much should I text her ? at least once a day/ whenever ? ask her questions, what do I do guys ?

I don't know about anyone else here, but when it comes to texting in general, if I have something useful or funny to tell someone, I'll text them.

I usually avoid trying to make small talk through text unless it's stemming from the current conversation.

 

[Armadilo]

but the problem i kinda had on the last date, was that we texted a lot. So just some I guess