names2hard4you
Member
Make it natural. Do you have something to say/ask? Do it. If you don't, just leave all talk for the day you meet.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
If your date is already set for next week then don't text at all until the day before when you confirm that you're still meeting.
Texting a lot between now and then will just make you two bored of each other and leave you with nothing to talk about if and when you do meet.
dskillzhtown
keep your strippers out of my American football
I have to agree man. A few quotes stood out to me.
During the dating phase, she wrecked her car and got sick at the same time. Her grandfather was able to drive her but I begged each day to drive her back and forth.
I did all the little things right during that time. I impressed everyone around. Women said they wanted a guy just like me.
Don't do stuff like this early on when you are just friends and getting to know each other. You are basically giving up the goods before you have established anything. You are doing things for her as if you are committed, when she hasn't committed to you at all. Trying to play the role of the bf doesn't make you one. You were just volunteering that effort.
I simply apologize several times for being upset/jealous and we are back on for the dinner and the movie meet ups. I didn't ask about the birthday gift but I did send her a picture of the keychain I then bought her at the convention. She says not to chase after her because she can't get romantic with me but she wants to continue hanging out all the time.
IMO, there is nothing wrong with being upset with someone. You can apologize for the way you expressed that frustration, but not for being upset in the first place. You are minimizing your feelings in the situation. Also right there she basically tells you she likes hanging around you but not bf material and you. You know what the deal is.
So I guess I am in the friend zone and need a way out? I've never been in a situation where someone losses interest but still wants to do what we did while dating. She even hugs me still. I am really unsure what to do here as I can settle for years of friendship but I am also willing to play the long game to get back in.
You were always in the friend zone. She appreciated all the things you did for her, appreciated the attention, loved the dates and gifts, but you did all that without being in a relationship that warranted all that. So when you tried to call her out for not behaving like she is in a relationship, it wrecked the situation you had going.
Yeah I'll go with this, hit the gym, improve myself this week and on the weekend focus on getting the date plan set up
30 million people Jesus Christ... that's more than my country and some surrounding ones combined
that's like playing the old school GTA games with cheats
fart town usa
Member
Started dating my friends cousin who I matched with on tinder. Weren't compatible so we called it off. Still friends though. Now our relationship consists of talking about how hard it is to find someone...and then we have sex, lol.
I'm 31, she's 27. It's nice that we can be adults about it and still truly care for each other. But yea, the dating scene is weird. I've stopped using tinder altogether, it's a waste of time IMO, for the most part at least.
She told me 'hinge' (which I'm unfamiliar with) is completely revamping their app and is going to focus on 'relationships' and not simply swipe dating. I'm gonna give it a try when it rolls out next week.
Edit-
I should point out that when we were together this past Saturday, her most recent tinder boyfriend, whom she eventually told that she wasn't interested in (due to his change in demeanor), was blowing up her phone all night. I don't get that at all, why guys do that. She was telling me how I showed her that 'gentlemen' still exist and whatnot. I thought that was cool, as I was raised by a widow from the age of 13 and I really do respect women in the truest sense, likely due to my upbringing.
I liked her insight though into the way some women approach dating. When we were a couple she was really quiet and reserved*, which is fine, and she would always comment on me being hard to read, which I've been told many times before and always took it as strange as I am very open and make an honest effort to be sincere/genuine. Basically, she started talking about guys she has been on dates with and how they aren't consistent and almost always show signs of having ulterior motives.
Personally, I consider myself handsome/attractive and am told that on the regular by people. I have a good amount of close friends who are female and they comment on how it's strange that I rarely match on tinder and that I get blown off alot. So now I'm starting to think, based on what my bedfellow said the other night, is that I'm missing out on potential relationships because so many men in my generation are total douches and some women drastically alter their perceptions on what they perceive as being normal, which I don't fit into it seems, so I'm labeled "hard to read." It is what it is I guess but it's kind of a bummer. I've always enjoyed being in relationships and outside of a few, they've generally ended on a decent note and we're still cordial via facebook, etc.
But yea, long story short, it can be difficult to find something real in a world of online dating when everyone seems to be on edge and people use others for their own gain.
*she was quiet and reserved because she didn't necessarily trust me. Now she does even though we aren't a couple but I'm actually able to see her true personality. Strange that we've gone about out friendship/relationship completely backwards.
I'm 31, she's 27. It's nice that we can be adults about it and still truly care for each other. But yea, the dating scene is weird. I've stopped using tinder altogether, it's a waste of time IMO, for the most part at least.
She told me 'hinge' (which I'm unfamiliar with) is completely revamping their app and is going to focus on 'relationships' and not simply swipe dating. I'm gonna give it a try when it rolls out next week.
Edit-
I should point out that when we were together this past Saturday, her most recent tinder boyfriend, whom she eventually told that she wasn't interested in (due to his change in demeanor), was blowing up her phone all night. I don't get that at all, why guys do that. She was telling me how I showed her that 'gentlemen' still exist and whatnot. I thought that was cool, as I was raised by a widow from the age of 13 and I really do respect women in the truest sense, likely due to my upbringing.
I liked her insight though into the way some women approach dating. When we were a couple she was really quiet and reserved*, which is fine, and she would always comment on me being hard to read, which I've been told many times before and always took it as strange as I am very open and make an honest effort to be sincere/genuine. Basically, she started talking about guys she has been on dates with and how they aren't consistent and almost always show signs of having ulterior motives.
Personally, I consider myself handsome/attractive and am told that on the regular by people. I have a good amount of close friends who are female and they comment on how it's strange that I rarely match on tinder and that I get blown off alot. So now I'm starting to think, based on what my bedfellow said the other night, is that I'm missing out on potential relationships because so many men in my generation are total douches and some women drastically alter their perceptions on what they perceive as being normal, which I don't fit into it seems, so I'm labeled "hard to read." It is what it is I guess but it's kind of a bummer. I've always enjoyed being in relationships and outside of a few, they've generally ended on a decent note and we're still cordial via facebook, etc.
But yea, long story short, it can be difficult to find something real in a world of online dating when everyone seems to be on edge and people use others for their own gain.
*she was quiet and reserved because she didn't necessarily trust me. Now she does even though we aren't a couple but I'm actually able to see her true personality. Strange that we've gone about out friendship/relationship completely backwards.
Whoa I misread that first sentence. I think hinge is also skewed towards a younger age, just to note. I am not entirely sure, just what I've heard from friends.
fart town usa
Member
Ha, funny enough the last time I was swiping on tinder went like this,
"Hmm, I graduated high school with her, that'd be cool if we matched *swipe right*"
Next profile appears,
"Yup, that's definitely my cousin Heidi..."
Lol
fart town usa
Member
The most matches I had was with this on my profile,
"Looking for a girl who wants to take road trips on weekends and doesn't concern herself with makeup"
Lol.
I actually had a decent amount of dates at the beginning of the summer. It was fun, made a great friend out of it too.
lol so true. I can get about 40-50 swipes and then the app tells me there's no one around.
Dr. Kitty Muffins
Member
Well, she still wants to buy me a birthday gift and she has us planned to hang out twice which she also wants to pay for since I used to pay for everything.I'll probably do those two things while giving less attention in between and then just not text or do much with her immediately after as a way to cool it down and see what she does. Everyone at work just says she is playing games and being my GF without claiming the title or the commitment it entails. She didn't really want to go with me to the convention until I mentioned there was a girl there I would be hanging out with.
As for her previous relationship, it was six months long and only ended when I came around. Her BF was upset but acted like it was inevitable we be dating like he couldn't stop it. I didn't want to do that to someone. She should have been upfront about her current relationship with him and not let me find out that way.
names2hard4you
Member
You do realize that after she gives you the present and you go out with her twice (with her paying!), you most likely will continue doing what you have been doing for the past while right? Just stop and let her go! Don't give more wood to this fire!
Why do you think Tinder is a waste of time?
Staying on it for a long stretch of time perhaps. Every few months or so (or in my case like every six months lol) it's pretty handy. You get a ton of new faces too when you pick it back up too. I usually hit a wall either through dating to texting a girl and just delete again.
Depends on what you're looking for.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I'm not sure why you aren't getting dates or relationships but I can guarantee it isn't because every guy ever is a douche canoe and ruined women before you could save them from themselves. What you wrote reads like Drake lyrics. I like Controlla as much as the next dude but come the fuck on.
I'm just telling you now that doing stuff she wants you to do but then claiming you're "pulling back also" is hilarious and not fooling anyone. You should not do anything with her starting from the time you read this message if you're actually serious. Because you are not showing the attitude of someone who wants to move on (because you probably don't but you should).
She wanted you to ask her out....because she was dressed nice and said "nothing"?
That doesn't seem like much of a hint at all. Asking 3 times is a bit much. I would never do it. She knows you're interested, so it's kind of up to her to show you in some way that she is, if she is. It'd need to be much heavier hints that what you listed.
Did she even ask what you were doing this weekend after you asked?
Ouch.
ZackieChan
Member
Well, then now you know where to start. Hint: it isn't dating.
Does Fart Town USA wave goodbye with both hands?
Hey, been lurking some time here since I started finally getting tinder dates a month back. Saw this one girl on 4 dates which I thought went real good, but then she canceled the fifth date and yesterday she sent a message saying we won't be seeing each other anymore which kind of sucks but is also a relieve after her ghosting me last week. The few other girls I've seen have I felt nothing with them, zero connection whatsoever. But I had got that other girl in my mind the last month and now that I don't have to think about her anymore I have this real zen-like feel.
I started thinking about asking random girls out since I'm going out shopping with a friend today. It would also help me get better at interacting socially with new people. Anyone had any success getting dates from just random people you've never met before? Any helpful tips?
I started thinking about asking random girls out since I'm going out shopping with a friend today. It would also help me get better at interacting socially with new people. Anyone had any success getting dates from just random people you've never met before? Any helpful tips?
hydrophilic attack
Member
Yes of course she asked. She may even have asked first. I don't remember exactly.
But she has given me plenty of hints before, which is why I should have at least taken a chance
EchoChamber
Member
Have your dick out always and when a girl ask why, say to her is because of harambe and she will immediately fall in love with you.
Wiz
Member
I normally don't do this but...I need help GAF. I think I got myself into a difficult situation. I'll keep it brief.
Met this girl on OKC. Been talking almost non-stop since mid August. Hung out once on Labor Day, it was a good time. Overall she's really into me. From the beginning though (talking on OKC), I had my doubts. Those doubts were confirmed when we met up - I'm just not attracted to her.
It's not like she's ugly or anything, it's just that physically I'm not attracted to her. Just not my type. So I feel really "meh" about everything. I want out. And yet I'm still texting her to this day. Why? I don't know lol, maybe I want a texting buddy. Maybe the convos are interesting (they are, but I really don't like texting). Maybe I don't have the guts to just go cold on her after all this time.
In other words, I feel like I'm leading this girl on. So what should I do? Go ghost? Explain how I feel and try to stay friends? Third option that I am not considering? Help!
Met this girl on OKC. Been talking almost non-stop since mid August. Hung out once on Labor Day, it was a good time. Overall she's really into me. From the beginning though (talking on OKC), I had my doubts. Those doubts were confirmed when we met up - I'm just not attracted to her.
It's not like she's ugly or anything, it's just that physically I'm not attracted to her. Just not my type. So I feel really "meh" about everything. I want out. And yet I'm still texting her to this day. Why? I don't know lol, maybe I want a texting buddy. Maybe the convos are interesting (they are, but I really don't like texting). Maybe I don't have the guts to just go cold on her after all this time.
In other words, I feel like I'm leading this girl on. So what should I do? Go ghost? Explain how I feel and try to stay friends? Third option that I am not considering? Help!
Pasta_Soup
Member
Tell her you enjoy talking to her, but you aren't feeling a romantic connection. If you'd like to remain friends with her, then offer that.
There's no reason you should waste time dating someone you aren't physically attracted to, and you're doing yourselves both a favor by ending it now before she develops even stronger feelings for you.
Do not ghost. Just be honest.
Gotdatmoney
Member
what...
Incendiary
Banned
That feeling when you're casually chatting with a new girl on an app, and you ask her who her favorite authors are and one of her answers is Hitler.
😰
😰
War Peaceman
You're a big guy.
must be a joke.
Incendiary
Banned
I mean, that's what I assumed. But if it was, her sense of comedic set-up is awful - especially since she has made 0 other jokes in our conversation.
Liquid-San
Member
In this case, I'd actually just tell you to act your age. She's much younger than you and is obviously opposed to being together. The part that always hurts when I hear how things are going in a relationship, is when the woman in the relationship tells her partner EXACTLY what she wants, (in this case, to not be together and be friends), yet the partner or person in questions starts thinking she insinuated something else. There is no deeper meaning, there is no waiting on the bench until it's your time to shine, it's over.
It lasted three weeks man, let it go and don't waste anymore time on her other than talking to her casually at work. Also, don't be her "friend". You two wanted something different from the very beginning, and it just didn't pan out. Things happen, on to the next one.
Gotta keep that in mind, thanks!
Incendiary
Banned
I went back and read your original post - I don't mean any offense here, but you sound like you're 21 and not 36. "But she was touching me!" "But she hugged me!" The fact is physical contact between friends is absolutely normal and not a sign of a relationship. My friends get me birthday gifts, too.
Last year I dated a 20 year old (I was 30) - here's some advice. Sometimes younger women have an older guy fetish. And I don't mean in a "wants to date and settle down and be exclusive" way. I mean in a "it turns them on" way. And part of what gets them going is that older guys are more experienced, more stable, more mature. They don't act like 21 year old guys. Which is what you're doing, and probably why she decided to say you guys should just be friends. If you're out with her and her friends, analyzing every move she makes and thinking you're in competition with her friends, you've already lost.
The fact is, she's probably not looking for anything serious - but hooking up with a guy who is older than her might be a turn on. And when you start being possessive and trying to get her to be exclusive and acting like guys her age, that will turn her off. So you have to ask yourself what you want, and whether she's looking for the same things you are. From what you've posted, I'm guessing probably not.
And finally, a 36 year old guy being friends with a 21 year old girl hoping she eventually wants to seriously date him is a recipe for disaster. All the reasons you're attractive to her will be diminished entirely if you don't carry yourself with maturity.
I had a girl on Tinder who I didn't even MEET complain to me about not paying her enough attention. "I like guys who pay me attention even when we don't see each other"
...yeah I don't like ghosting, but it does have it's purposes
Creepy shit, blocked her and noped out of there fast
...yeah I don't like ghosting, but it does have it's purposes
Creepy shit, blocked her and noped out of there fastThat wall of text basically reads "I can't get a date because I'm too nice and everyone else is too much of a jerk"
That's not how it works, lol.
Most men aren't douches, actually.
Uh, what's the racist connotation of '88'? That's my birth year and well, it's common for people to put their birth year in their username if they're particularly uncreative. I never knew 88 could be racist
Uh, what's the racist connotation of '88'? That's my birth year and well, it's common for people to put their birth year in their username if they're particularly uncreative. I never knew 88 could be racist
The eight letter of the alphabet is H. 88 = HH, or Heil Hitler. There's also https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/88_Precepts. Disclaimer: I am not a white supremecist, I just know how to search on Urban Dictionary.
Well, GAF bro's this is a first. Think I'll have to cancel on a date because of politics, aka she was a crazy ass Trump supporter. She was actually pretty hot but damn, I just can't.
First she puts this on Facebook:
"If you want change, vote for Trump. Trump is not a political grandstander, but has done way more in 30 years than Killary! Sure she has experience, but what's experience when you have nothing to back it up with? Trump made really good points at the debate! Hillary only made attacks! Wake up America!
To which I politely replied:
"Totally not trying to start an argument here, just curious what points he actually made about policy? Trying not to criticize your guy but he really needs a vocabulary and speech class, I was embarrassed to hear him even talk up there."
The talk continued for 32 replies (she couldn't repeat any policy of course) followed by this gem:
"So, what he didn't pay his federal income tax he didn't break the law that's your homie Hillary's area of expertise! When was the last time you said to yourself I want to pay more in taxes? Yeah, that's what we call dumb."
<sigh>
Was supposed to grab us tickets to do something this weekend, but nahhhh
First she puts this on Facebook:
"If you want change, vote for Trump. Trump is not a political grandstander, but has done way more in 30 years than Killary! Sure she has experience, but what's experience when you have nothing to back it up with? Trump made really good points at the debate! Hillary only made attacks! Wake up America!
To which I politely replied:
"Totally not trying to start an argument here,
just curious what points he actually made about policy? Trying not to criticize your guy but he really needs a vocabulary and speech class, I was embarrassed to hear him even talk up there."The talk continued for 32 replies (she couldn't repeat any policy of course) followed by this gem:
"So, what he didn't pay his federal income tax he didn't break the law that's your homie Hillary's area of expertise! When was the last time you said to yourself I want to pay more in taxes? Yeah, that's what we call dumb."
<sigh>
Was supposed to grab us tickets to do something this weekend, but nahhhh
ZeronosVega
Member
Well, GAF bro's this is a first. Think I'll have to cancel on a date because of politics, aka she was a crazy ass Trump supporter. She was actually pretty hot but damn, I just can't.
First she puts this on Facebook:
"If you want change, vote for Trump. Trump is not a political grandstander, but has done way more in 30 years than Killary! Sure she has experience, but what's experience when you have nothing to back it up with? Trump made really good points at the debate! Hillary only made attacks! Wake up America!
To which I politely replied:
"Totally not trying to start an argument here,
The talk continued for 32 replies (she couldn't repeat any policy of course) followed by this gem:
"So, what he didn't pay his federal income tax he didn't break the law that's your homie Hillary's area of expertise! When was the last time you said to yourself I want to pay more in taxes? Yeah, that's what we call dumb."
<sigh>
Was supposed to grab us tickets to do something this weekend, but nahhhh
Sounds like you were able to dodge a bullet.
well go for it then I say. All I had to go off before was her leaving at the same time as you and doing nothing that weekend. I'm still not a fan of 3 times, but that varies by person.
"Totally not trying to start an argument here,
bit of a side note, but "totally not trying to start an arugment, just curious etc etc, not trying to criticize blah blah" triggers me lol. In general, people should just say what they want to say, especially if you're dang well gonna say it anyway. Not specific to politics, but in most things concerning communication. Since it's the dating thread, I'd say it's helpful here as well.
Gotdatmoney
Member
ZackieChan
Member
Dating Age |OT88| White Supremacy
Messofanego
Banned
That's where I reached max level cringe.
Some of you folks need to read back these little essays you're writing before you post them, and think, really think, about what you're saying. I know I'm on a videogame forum, but goddamn.
ZackieChan
Member
No. TELL her where and when to meet you. Somewhere convenient for you both. If she has an issue with it, she'll have an alternate suggestion. Project confidence!
That's like my daily inner monologue catch phrase when I'm in Off Topic
Messofanego
Banned
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