Etrian Oddity
Member
Never. Unless they come up to you first.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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Gotdatmoney
Member
This is weird. Don't google people's names. That's creepy as fuck. If you wanna get to know her just go in when it's not busy and ask her on a date or give her a piece of paper with your number.
For the gym scenario, I dunno it feels weird to just randomly approach a person in that situation. Have you seen anything from her that would indicate she's interested in you? Have you made eye contact at any stage?
I'd wager women's main pet peeve about going to the gym is being hit on by guys so unless you've had some kind of interaction with her in the past, I'd say not to pursue it.
I'd wager women's main pet peeve about going to the gym is being hit on by guys so unless you've had some kind of interaction with her in the past, I'd say not to pursue it.
My personal rule is: if she texts me, I'll reply saying I had a nice time but I'm not interested. If she doesn't text me, I won't text either and I'll assume neither of us wants to meet again.
So you only have one date all the time?
Haha obviously this only applies in the case where I'm not interested in seeing her again. If I'm interested, I'll message again.
Ahah of course. If you're interested in seeing her again you should text her Armadillo. If you think it's a lost cause then don't, just move on and don't think too much about it.
If you do send go like "I've had fun today, I hope you also had some fun", dont thank her for the date unless you have a real reason to do it.
Keep using tinder for sure. It's a medium through which to meet people and is a lot easier than asking people out in person.
I've only ever been able to ask people out in person when I've established some kind of rapport with them through taking a class together or meeting through friends or whatever.
Yep! It can be brutal lol.
I thought I was a decent looking guy and would be able to find someone as attractive as my ex in no time...
Dating seems to be so much easier for women. I swear...
Ugh, people go to gyms to work out, not exactly find dates. Unless you actually have something useful to say, don't bother her.
A woman that I've been speaking to from time in my art class asked my teacher and I if we could work on her car. I agreed and he agreed, so I started asking her the questions, what was wrong with it, year, what it was doing, etc.
Well, that conversation about cars led to her asking me to go hiking and get lunch with her afterwatds. I started laughing at how we went from talking about working on cars to hiking and getting lunch, so I ignored it and then blushed really bad. Then she tried to do damage control and said to the teacher that we should all get something to eat after working on the car, but my teacher clotheslined that idea by saying "There's not even places to eat where we live!"
Anyways, asked me for my number and sent me a text right afterwards.
Is she just awkward or what? She's cute to me, but she has her shit together has graduated already.
A woman that I've been speaking to from time in my art class asked my teacher and I if we could work on her car. I agreed and he agreed, so I started asking her the questions, what was wrong with it, year, what it was doing, etc.
Well, that conversation about cars led to her asking me to go hiking and get lunch with her afterwatds. I started laughing at how we went from talking about working on cars to hiking and getting lunch, so I ignored it and then blushed really bad. Then she tried to do damage control and said to the teacher that we should all get something to eat after working on the car, but my teacher clotheslined that idea by saying "There's not even places to eat where we live!"
Anyways, asked me for my number and sent me a text right afterwards.
Is she just awkward or what? She's cute to me, but she has her shit together has graduated already.
Valkerionseven
Member
Doesn't sound awkward at all to me. Go for it. Sounds like the opening 20 minutes of a bad middle aged womans love story movie from the 90s if anything haha.
Anyway the lady friend I've had my eye on and been going out with has started to affect my sleep in the bad kind of way lol. Dream wise that is. Starting to think she might be a freaking succubus!
joking... but maybe
Second dream was last night after we went on a dinner date. Was at a shopping mall with all my friends and co-workers, talking about her, how pretty she is, and how they are all in my corner when it comes to hopping it will work out. Then a new worker comes in, and steals her, kissing her ect. I get super angry but try to keep it under control, but my friends/co-workers get angry and are like "Were going to fuck the new guy up!" haha. Then one lady had like lightning powers around her arm and we had to hold her back from attacking them while they walked away kissing... Anime as fuck
Really weird dreams haha. Maybe they are trying to tell me something.
ZackieChan
Member
Sounds like you were the awkward one. You could have just gone with it and been a cool cucumber, but you called her out on it and embarrassed her, maybe.
How exactly is she the awkward one here?
I think it takes a little while to get back into the groove. I was online dating for three months after my last relationship, and the first month I was completely fumbling with a bad profile and sending awkward messages even though it wasn't my first time on. Stick with it, don't expect early results, and you'll be fine. Get out there and do other things to socialize so you don't get too obsessed with it.
You're underestimating the deluge of messages they get from creeps. I have a friend taking a break from online dating because of that.
Lucian Cat
Kissed a mod for a tag; liked it
No... no... no...
It's your awful attitude that makes it harder, not your looks or gender. You should be in therapy, not on Ok Cupid looking for another woman to obsess over.
Women get a ton more messages online, but with that comes a lot of filtering and dealing with aggressive jerks, so... Not really.
Like others said, Night, you really have to work on your attitude with dating, and at this point (judging from your mental health posts) only a therapist is gonna help. There is feeling like shit after a long relationship, and then there is obsessing over it, and you shouldn't be comparing everyone to your ex, that's immensely unhealthy.
names2hard4you
Member
DO NOT be that guy. Don't do it.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Eh it's just different. The guy to girl ratio is really large so they have first choice of who they want. But a lot of choices makes filtering down to find the right people infinitely more difficult. A profile is different than a conversation and an actual date.
And since they are also regular people they don't have infinite time to dig through trash and try out every guy hoping for a good fit.
Up your game if your current method isn't working man. Try new things. Get better pictures. Work on being so social. And jesus christ lose the constant bitterness. Like sometimes we as people are down and out but if you can't muster any positivity what the fuck is the point of anything at all?
Life isn't all Ws all the time. Everything can be ideally perfect and shit just doesn't work out sometimes. Shit might not work out a lot of the time. But if you aren't gonna believe that you'll get it together eventually no one else will either.
For the last month I've been using Tinder a bit.
Maybe it's just a cultural thing, because people in my country are considered pretty cold and distant on the outside, but I've noticed THAT SO FEW MEN SMILE IN THEIR PICTURES!
Smile is the most attactive part of a human being. Why isn't it used? Even if you aren't the most handsome fella out there, but you have a smile on your face, in my books you instantly take the lead from the beautiful murkyface.
Maybe it's just a cultural thing, because people in my country are considered pretty cold and distant on the outside, but I've noticed THAT SO FEW MEN SMILE IN THEIR PICTURES!
Smile is the most attactive part of a human being. Why isn't it used? Even if you aren't the most handsome fella out there, but you have a smile on your face, in my books you instantly take the lead from the beautiful murkyface.
Oops, she started blushing really bad, not me. I was just laughing at the fact.
In hindsight, I should have played it cool like I often do, but I love seeing her blush when I joke with her, but maybe it wasn't the appropriate time.
I have her phone number and I know that she wants to do something besides have me work on her car due to that conversation.
direct_quote
Member
I think there was some psychological study about how a plurality of choices makes one feel less satisfied with the the choice they go with. So I think that's a constant factor for women, while for some men the lack of choices may make oneitis more apparent.
Unfortunately for me it's going to take a while to get over my ex, and I feel in the back of my mind I have the hope she will call me.... Not a lot of luck on tinder mostly bots matching with me...
ZackieChan
Member
I think Night needs to watch Swingers
Incendiary
Banned
Why is it that the exes that contact you out of the blue after months and months of no communication are never the ones you actually want to talk to again?
Have you written a single post in the last month where you don't mention your ex? I'm not trying to be an ass, but rather give you food for thought.
.That's horrible advice.
"So you've been depressed for months and have been stalking your ex to the point where she threatened legal action? Just go on some dating sites and meet someone else."
Meeting a new woman isn't going to solve anything. In fact, it will just make things worse because you will constantly compare her to your ex, who you still obviously have not gotten over. So the relationship (if there is even one) will go nowhere and you will just keep going in your downward spiral because it will fulfill the idea in your head that you will never ever meet anyone as good as your ex. You need a real therapist/psychiatrist, not a counselor.
"So you've been depressed for months and have been stalking your ex to the point where she threatened legal action? Just go on some dating sites and meet someone else."
Meeting a new woman isn't going to solve anything. In fact, it will just make things worse because you will constantly compare her to your ex, who you still obviously have not gotten over. So the relationship (if there is even one) will go nowhere and you will just keep going in your downward spiral because it will fulfill the idea in your head that you will never ever meet anyone as good as your ex. You need a real therapist/psychiatrist, not a counselor.
He said it would be good to see that there are other people out there.
And I am gonna see a therapist, once I get back home. I've been out of state for work for a few weeks now..
But it's also not as easy as opening up a phone book and getting psychiatric help, it's a complicated system in the US
And I am gonna see a therapist, once I get back home. I've been out of state for work for a few weeks now..
But it's also not as easy as opening up a phone book and getting psychiatric help, it's a complicated system in the US
In general yes it's good to see that there are other people out there, but from what you've been posting for the past few months, you can't help compare everyone unfavourably to your ex. Until you can fully get over her, I'd say you're going to have a very frustrating experience in the dating world.
It sucks that getting help is so difficult in the US. A counselor is better than nothing, but it sounds like you got some bad advice.
I know, I have seen one for a good portion of my life. But you seem to come up with excuses why you're not. This really needs to be a number 1 priority for you. Like why are you not looking into this now despite where you are working? You seem content to wallow in self pity. Think about it, if things had gone a little differently with your ex, you could have gotten a restraining order put on you and maybe even worse. This should be your rock bottom and a wake up call for your mental health.
Poor girl, it sounds like she likes you and you made her feel incredibly awkward. If you like her she seems interested just be sure that you're not leading her on.
It is needlessly complicated, but that shouldn't stop you from starting the process now. You can still do the research away from home. Who knows, maybe by the time you return you might have a first appointment within a reasonable time frame.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Anyone on the receiving end of legal threats from their ex should definitely stay away from dating until they've worked through their issues.
gwalio is right. There's no happy ending there if you just dive back in without getting help for those issues, they won't just disappear when you find someone new, all you'll do is make them miserable and very likely project a lot of what you're going through onto them and that's the last thing you should want to do.
gwalio is right. There's no happy ending there if you just dive back in without getting help for those issues, they won't just disappear when you find someone new, all you'll do is make them miserable and very likely project a lot of what you're going through onto them and that's the last thing you should want to do.
So I had a date with a girl and she seemed eager to make a second date happen. We've been chatting for the last week or so but our schedules just haven't lined up. The last day or two I noticed she was being a little distant so I pulled back to give her space. Now I just got a text apologizing for being absent lately. Not sure how to reply. I don't want to just say its okay and be a pushover but I don't want to come off as a jerk either.
Thanks
Thanks
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Why would you be a jerk? She didn't do anything wrong. You went on one date, sand both of your schedules contributed to the roadblock. If you want to see her again, you have one sensible option:
"No worries! We all get busy. How about we try for next Tuesday?"
Not sure how you could come off as either in this situation.
I would just say "no worries". People are busy and schedules don't align.
Ask her out and give her a specific day and time. If she say's she can't tell her she can let you know when she is available. If she wants to see you she will try and find some time.
I don't think I did anything wrong. I have no problem with making her blush, so I do it on purpose, and I really think she's cute and a fun girl to talk to, so there is no problem with leading her on, I'd never do that.
I'll ask if she has a boyfriend. That part is the one that I don't like. I know it's an essential question to ask if you want to date someone, but at some points, I feel like the question is kind of nosy.
What's a good way of asking or finding out? It's pretty much my least favorite question to ask a girl.
ZackieChan
Member
4) Never do anything and wonder your entire life
names2hard4you
Member
This one here is probably the one that will bother you the most. Sometimes you may take that L, but at the end of the day that means you got an answer and can therefore assess the situation, think where you went wrong (maybe nothing was wrong, maybe she had a bf) and just go on to the next one. No lingering thoughts.
Welp just got hit with the i just wanna be friends card.
There isn't a bf. She says she has no much going on.
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