Seriously, keep it to 1 year max. /s
-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
- Status
Been going out with this girl for about a month, funnily enough it was the girl I mentioned here : http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showpost.php?p=232008006&postcount=7994.
I don't know if I'm really that into her though and I can't put my finger on what it is. I feel kinda bad about it because she's honestly a really nice person and I think she really likes me. I wonder if I'm sticking around just because I might lose out on a good girl or that the only reason I don't wanna go any further with this girl is because of commitment issues I may have.
I don't know if I'm really that into her though and I can't put my finger on what it is. I feel kinda bad about it because she's honestly a really nice person and I think she really likes me. I wonder if I'm sticking around just because I might lose out on a good girl or that the only reason I don't wanna go any further with this girl is because of commitment issues I may have.
I'm reaching the point I was at last fall with just too many matches with reasonably interesting women that I'm trying to schedule dates with, while also trying to keep things going to second and third dates with more of the women that I've already met. It can be really time consuming and distracting to keep up with so many matches/conversations, and hard to schedule when I'm gone every other weekend and have assorted weeknight commitments.
It's a good problem to have, but I feel like I should be having more emotional connections than I am.
It's a good problem to have, but I feel like I should be having more emotional connections than I am.
PancakeBurglar
Member
I've got quite a few large tattoos (chest piece, 3 large pieces on my arm) and I have no problem getting matches on Tinder. Before I got Tinder my friend told me lots of girls like guys with beards and tattoos on Tinder and that I'd be fine lol.
PancakeBurglar
Member
Yeah, I've reached this problem too. I'm at a point where I'm talking too and dating 3 women on a regular basis and even that is pretty exhausting for me. I haven't swiped Tinder or Bumble in a while and honestly its actually a pretty good feeling.
Coffee Meets Bagel has a long residual effect. Guys without racial preferences in a large city get shown the max of like 21 matches per day, so even a few days of going through the log will result in matches trickling in for potentially weeks after I've "stopped".
I'm on the other side of the problem on Tinder or Bumble, where I get a few matches in the first 10 I swipe whenever I go through the log, but the matches are "stale" and the response/message rate feels shockingly low.
artsi
Member
Girl (from Instagram) brought up the exclusivity talk a few days ago, and we got into a relationship.
I was happy because that's what I also wanted, then I deleted Tinder, etc.
Today she texted me, cancelled all our weekend plans and said that she wants to talk.
Of course I already knew what's up, I went to her place, she said that she doesn't feel it and we... broke up.
I'm a bit sad as I did like her, but more like WTF just happened.
Already back into the game, but strange.
I was happy because that's what I also wanted, then I deleted Tinder, etc.
Today she texted me, cancelled all our weekend plans and said that she wants to talk.
Of course I already knew what's up, I went to her place, she said that she doesn't feel it and we... broke up.
I'm a bit sad as I did like her, but more like WTF just happened.
Already back into the game, but strange.
Megalosaro
Banned
So she went from initiating the relationship talk to deciding not to be in one in a matter of days?
That is odd. Any idea what changed. It just strikes me as odd that she wanted to commit but then changed her mind. I wonder what happened.
That is odd. Any idea what changed. It just strikes me as odd that she wanted to commit but then changed her mind. I wonder what happened.
Messofanego
Banned
Wow, that sucks. Glad you're taking it on the chin and getting back on the saddle.
Sounds like she's not worth worrying about to be honest. She's fickle and you deserve someone solid.
LegendofDragoonLives
Member
old flame came into picture and you were the back-up all along. That's what my imaginary PhD in psychology tells me. Shame that it happened famo but it seems like you pull as much as Harvey from Suits, so I have faith in you.
artsi
Member
Yeah, and she even said that she's looking for something serious. As for the reason, she said stone cold that she didn't really like me that much.
Odd, indeed ¯\_(ツ
_/¯Yep, it never feels good but at least it happened now, not in a few months when I could've been much more invested in her.
She did also say that she doesn't want children, and I do one day, so I guess it's for the best in the end.
Thanks man. Already almost 30 matches this evening, and a few weeks of summer left. I got this.
Jroman2323
Neo Member
Okay long story, I'll try to keep it short. So I live in Colorado Springs and I met this girl from New York at the top of the incline while she was visiting Colorado Springs alone. We just started talking about traveling and what not and eventually asked if she wanted to come hang out in the town. At the time I was with my friend and his wife who were both from out of state too, so I was showing them around as well. Well all hung out the rest of the night in town and I got her number. She told me she was in town for the next few days, so I messaged her later that night asking if she wanted to go on a hike or something and hang out the next day and she said sure. So we hung out a little that day before going to work and had a good time, and then I asked her if she wanted to hang out again the next day and she said yes. That day we hung out all day and things went really well. I dropped her off at her hotel and we said goodbye because she was leaving the next morning, and there was lingering. I wasn't sure about kissing her because of the whole New York thing so we hugged and it was very drawn out, and then hugged again lol.
Since then we have been talking every day through text and things were really good. So I bought a plane ticket to New York to go visit New York and see her as well. She offered to let me stay at her place and I of course said yes. So everything was fine until like a week ago and my flight is on the 15th of this month. She started giving really short replies to stuff, long times to reply, and texted "Hey so I have some plans popping up during your visit. I hope you don't mind doing some things solo (the city is a good place for solo stuff though *smiley face)" which is completely understandable. But this mixed with just a general change in tone overall is weird. I like this girl and just want to have a fun time in New York and if anything happens then awesome. I just feel like something changed this past week and don't want to be a bother for her and am considering asking her if everything is alright and ask if I should just get a hotel instead of staying with her. I don't know if I really explained the whole situation well enough, but you guys can get an idea.
Since then we have been talking every day through text and things were really good. So I bought a plane ticket to New York to go visit New York and see her as well. She offered to let me stay at her place and I of course said yes. So everything was fine until like a week ago and my flight is on the 15th of this month. She started giving really short replies to stuff, long times to reply, and texted "Hey so I have some plans popping up during your visit. I hope you don't mind doing some things solo (the city is a good place for solo stuff though *smiley face)" which is completely understandable. But this mixed with just a general change in tone overall is weird. I like this girl and just want to have a fun time in New York and if anything happens then awesome. I just feel like something changed this past week and don't want to be a bother for her and am considering asking her if everything is alright and ask if I should just get a hotel instead of staying with her. I don't know if I really explained the whole situation well enough, but you guys can get an idea.
Fucking brutal. That sucks. I've often felt that way about people, but straight up saying it to the person?
Seems like you're handling it well though. 30 matches in a few hours? I wish I had your life.
Sounds like she doesn't want you to get too serious about things. What's the end goal here? Long-distance relationship built off a few days hanging out in Colorado Springs?
It's possible she's met someone else.
I wouldn't treat this as anything more than just a casual fling while you're in NY. But given that you haven't kissed her, it might just be a friend thing.
I have done that before. It sucks but it was the honest truth and I wasn't going to lie as I felt that would just be an insult to them.
I feel like there are ways of saying it that don't involve saying "I just don't like you that much".
Personally I'm a fan of "I feel like things have run their course" and "I feel like my heart isn't in this any more". Most of my relationships are fairly short-term and casual. I would not end a long-term relationship with one of these phrases.
hydrophilic attack
Member
So I just had a pretty great first date. She started talking to me on okcupid nearly a month ago and we finally got around to meeting tonight. Very nice American girl. We were just meeting for beers but somehow ended up talking for over four hours. About politics and culture and games and everything. I don't know where the time went. I didn't go for a kiss at the end, but we parted with a really close hard hug. I'll ask her out for some live music next weekend once she texts me (I sent her my number on okcupid, but don't have her number yet)
I haven't had a date in ages and I haven't really clicked with a girl in forever, so I'm glad this went so well
I haven't had a date in ages and I haven't really clicked with a girl in forever, so I'm glad this went so well
Megalosaro
Banned
Fuck those dudes dogging the guy who is taking a girl on a date to a farmers market. I like that idea.
Girls do love a good farmers' market in my experience.
So been on 3 dates and everytime I'm like "man that was solid" and it's been friskier each time, but I come away being kind of unsure. She actually just texted me that she has "fundamental questions" next time we meet, which I'm going to assume is relationship stuff.
I'm down, I'm more into steady relationships than the stress of dating around, but I'm gonna be honest and say I'm still uneasy about my hobbies. Like guys, she said she's never even played Mario Kart. I can gel with that, if the girl was at least casually interested in trying video games once in awhile, and I've brought it up as something to do and kind of tried to drop hints, but I'm getting flashbacks to my previous relationship where I just felt deeply insecure about bringing up gaming stuff. I'd work up the courage to play some games with her and I'd swear it was fun but then she'd never bring it up again. Just not a great dynamic, I want to feel like I'm not completely forcing it.
Anyway, I realize this sounds extremely like wanting to show her how far gaming has come since Super Mario Bros., but I'm not really into this for the hookup. I'm less awkward about it now but I'm still uneasy that she's not really giving me a hand here, kind of shrugging it off. I just really like casual multiplayer video games, but obviously I don't make that an important dealbreaker until it gets to like, this point.
Do I sound crazy and lame? Not writing it off yet because haven't really confronted it yet, but I dunno, not sure if I have bad perspective here. I'd think people here would be thinking of their hobbies with dating, right?
I'm down, I'm more into steady relationships than the stress of dating around, but I'm gonna be honest and say I'm still uneasy about my hobbies. Like guys, she said she's never even played Mario Kart. I can gel with that, if the girl was at least casually interested in trying video games once in awhile, and I've brought it up as something to do and kind of tried to drop hints, but I'm getting flashbacks to my previous relationship where I just felt deeply insecure about bringing up gaming stuff. I'd work up the courage to play some games with her and I'd swear it was fun but then she'd never bring it up again. Just not a great dynamic, I want to feel like I'm not completely forcing it.
Anyway, I realize this sounds extremely like wanting to show her how far gaming has come since Super Mario Bros., but I'm not really into this for the hookup. I'm less awkward about it now but I'm still uneasy that she's not really giving me a hand here, kind of shrugging it off. I just really like casual multiplayer video games, but obviously I don't make that an important dealbreaker until it gets to like, this point.
Do I sound crazy and lame? Not writing it off yet because haven't really confronted it yet, but I dunno, not sure if I have bad perspective here. I'd think people here would be thinking of their hobbies with dating, right?
Earthbound64
Banned
Edit: Never mind.
Earthbound64
Banned
Show her how far gaming has come since Super Mario World.
(Not very far).
Seriously though - don't even worry about it. Enjoy the things you enjoy, she enjoys the things that she enjoys, life marches on. Don't be insecure, it's really not a big deal.
Yeah but like, I'm deeply into local multiplayer games specifically so I just innately have this awkward compulsion to make it a social thing with anyone. Hard to just ignore it in a relationship.
It's also like, divorced from it being video games, it'd be nice to have a partner who actually notes the things you like and tries to get into that, even a little bit.
Megalosaro
Banned
Take confidence in your hobbies, but don't be your hobbies. I've noticed nerds/gamers have such a hard time because we build up so much of identity around around what we like. Stop doing that.
My suggestion: Get more hobbies. Don't over invest or you won't be well rounded. My formula is this:
Nerdy Hobby: Mecha Anime, Video Games and board games
Physical Hobby: Golf, hiking
Everyman Hobby: watching American Football
Creative Hobbies: Playing Piano, creative writing
Not saying I like those things equally, but by diversifying my interest, I have plenty to talk about. Remember: Nerdy Hobby, Physical Hobby, and Creative Hobby. Three things. Balance, friend.
Shared interests are such a small part of a relationship. You'll find stuff to bond over. Shared experiences and what not if you have chemistry and physical attraction.
it does seem like a pretty good date idea
Earthbound64
Banned
It's really easy to ignore it in a relationship.
Unless she's standing over you screaming at you any time you're playing a game or something.
Anyway - So get another friend for that?
Heck, get a dozen other friends for that.
There are far, far more important things to worry about in a romantic relationship than video games (or any other hobby)..
Pretty much this.
I know, I'm trying. But it doesn't seem wrong to want to share what you like. It makes me comfortable, and I put in the effort for her.
Megalosaro
Banned
Don't be afraid to share what you like, but don't be upset when it doesn't take. You can share without overwhelming them.
I love Dragon Quest. My girlfriend loves Jesus. We don't share those interests at all. You know how we bond? She reads her bible while I play my 3ds while we cuddle on each other. Well discuss other shit while this goes on. That way we both get to enjoy our own stuff while enhjoying each other's company. It's nice. Really fucking nice.
Yeah, that'd be fine. I guess I just want to avoid a repeat of how it felt before. This girl is dropping the hard relationship questions after 3 dates within 2 weeks, and I'm not sure how to handle it, now I'm unsure if I'm leading her on or whatever or what I expect. Relationships are cool but it seems quick to taking it so seriously.
LookAtMeGo
Member
😂 it would make for a good dateGAF story though.
Welp. Looks like I'm rollin solo tonight. Everyone is working or sucks. Last weekend off for the summer. Hopefully something funny happens.
Truth. I think you could beat him up. You got this.
Earthbound64
Banned
Edit: Never mind.
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
All of my friends are out of town and while I have a date lined up for tomorrow night, I'm on my own tonight.
Guess I'm watching movies.
Guess I'm watching movies.
Earthbound64
Banned
Beren the Empty-Handed
Member
Dammit I've been made.
Earthbound64
Banned
EchoChamber
Member
There is gonna be a pool party in 2 weeks for the new students in my university so...this is my chance.
Dammit artsi, you've gone too far
https://www.yahoo.com/gma/women-last-laugh-man-books-6-dates-1-141905120--abc-news-sex.html
https://www.yahoo.com/gma/women-last-laugh-man-books-6-dates-1-141905120--abc-news-sex.html
Messofanego
Banned
This would be more a Krauser Kat thing XD
artsi
Member
lol, this is my life.
I've only once booked two dates for the same day, never again.
I need to book some dates.
Who the fuck does this? I wanna see this dude's mug
always crazy bacon
Banned
There is gonna be a pool party in 2 weeks for the new students in my university so...this is my chance.
This is both embarrassing and creepy. No wonder you're single.
*Null* "It's just a prank post bro"
always crazy bacon
Banned
That's fake. One of those women are selling/promoting something. Just wait and see.
Megalosaro
Banned
There was a moment of clarity today that I had that made me icredibly depressed.
I just don't think my relationship is going to work out.
It's not because we don't get along. We get along fantastically. Our personalities mesh so well and she's basically everything I've ever looked for in a partner.
But the logistics of our relationship and living situations are too fucked. I've complained about it before, but I always felt this was something that could change. Tonight I realized that it wasn't going to get better.
I don't want to have to rent a hotel just to spend the night together. That basically limits it to like twice a month and I just cant do it anymore.
Tonight I tried getting her to spend the night. She refused. I get that we can't stay at her place, but then it has to be my place. She hates coming over period bease it's just not private enough and she doesn't want to shower in my bathroom since it share it with someone.
This isn't going to change. The feeling I'm getting is that she'd never feel comfortable with coming over, no matter who my roommates are. As long as I have roommates, she won't come over. Not enough privacy.
I can't afford to live by myself.
It sucks that two people who work so well together can't work out. We are going to Boston next month. After that, I'm going to break it off. I am already emotionally preparing myself, but I know I'm going to take it hard. But I know it's the right thing to do.
And it hurts knowing that. I'm going to miss her so much. She truly is incredible.
I just don't think my relationship is going to work out.
It's not because we don't get along. We get along fantastically. Our personalities mesh so well and she's basically everything I've ever looked for in a partner.
But the logistics of our relationship and living situations are too fucked. I've complained about it before, but I always felt this was something that could change. Tonight I realized that it wasn't going to get better.
I don't want to have to rent a hotel just to spend the night together. That basically limits it to like twice a month and I just cant do it anymore.
Tonight I tried getting her to spend the night. She refused. I get that we can't stay at her place, but then it has to be my place. She hates coming over period bease it's just not private enough and she doesn't want to shower in my bathroom since it share it with someone.
This isn't going to change. The feeling I'm getting is that she'd never feel comfortable with coming over, no matter who my roommates are. As long as I have roommates, she won't come over. Not enough privacy.
I can't afford to live by myself.
It sucks that two people who work so well together can't work out. We are going to Boston next month. After that, I'm going to break it off. I am already emotionally preparing myself, but I know I'm going to take it hard. But I know it's the right thing to do.
And it hurts knowing that. I'm going to miss her so much. She truly is incredible.
SmackDaddy
Member
Pretty sure you can make it work if you feel this way my dude. But damn, she's pretty picky
It's time for you to move away from your roommate, dude. You are literally going to throw out what seems to be a great person because of your insane fucking roommate. And I can guarantee you it's not about roommates in general, she's already figured out your roommate is a fucking weirdo and doesn't want to be around him. You've gotten comfortable with the insanity you know instead of the potential horizons you can reach with the ones you don't.
- Status