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[BobTheFork]

She was by far the best and worst thing to ever happen to me...and now my watch has ended.

I wish I could just leave the office and hit a fucking pinbar

 

[B-B-Bomba!]

Separated after ten years, just getting active on POF. This is weird ...

 

[IC5]

I wanted to join the gym before her.

She introduced me to it officially though. I really dont mind being friends with her in the long run. Just right now i still think she is cute as fuck and would like a different relationship with her.

Climbing is way more fun with two people even if its platonic. I just have to see some more people and crush on someone else for her to make the full transistion to platonic friend/climbing partner.

really this went from, I get to climb with a sexy girlfriend to i get to climb with an attractive girl that im friends with. Its a little less awesome but ill live.

Honestly dude, if you can decently keep your cool, you will probably be sleeping with her again, before long. The question is, do you want to deal with a fluid/casual relationship?

*and if you can actually make something happen with another girl, it will make her jealous and reconsider. Again, do you wanna play that? You should decide now, before it happens.

**there are a host of reasons why she friendzoned you after three dates and some sex. and most of those reasons do not keep you from being an open option.

 

[ZackieChan]

She was by far the best and worst thing to ever happen to me...and now my watch has ended.

I wish I could just leave the office and hit a fucking pinbar

Keep the bolded in mind, and don't do anything rash. What's a pinbar?

Edit: I agree with the above post. Krauser, how exactly did she "friendzone" you?

 

[Fulminator]

so how do you guys recommend approaching someone who you've never really interacted with before?

there's this really cute girl i see around on campus sometimes but i've never spoken to her before, and idk how to go up to her without it being weird

 

[Psychoward]

I've dated my current girlfriend for almost 6 months and neither of us have said I love you yet.

Oops

 

[vern]

I've dated my current girlfriend for almost 6 months and neither of us have said I love you yet.

Oops

Why is that oops? Seems rational.

 

[Psychoward]

Why is that oops? Seems rational.

Is it normal? I feel like it's past the point where it should have been said by now. I'm going off to school (again) eventually so I know this relationship won't last so I don't wanna get fully committed but at the same time she's really cool.

She matches my personality really well, has similar taste in things, pays for dates/gives me things sometimes, gives great sex etc. and I feel like I'm not committing myself enough to her especially since I'm her first boyfriend.

 

[vern]

Is it normal? I feel like it's past the point where it should have been said by now. I'm going off to school (again) eventually so I know this relationship won't last so I don't wanna get fully committed but at the same time she's really cool.

She matches my personality really well, has similar taste in things, pays for dates/gives me things sometimes, gives great sex etc. and I feel like I'm not committing myself enough to her especially since I'm her first boyfriend.

It usually takes me a year or more to say seriously to the girl I'm with. I don't know what's "normal" but 6 months without saying it seems pretty ok to me.

Also you just said the relationship isn't gonna last, seems like a great reason to never drop the L bomb.

 

[Psychoward]

It usually takes me a year or more to say seriously to the girl I'm with. I don't know what's "normal" but 6 months without saying it seems pretty ok to me.

Also you just said the relationship isn't gonna last, seems like a great reason to never drop the L bomb.

Alright, thanks for the advice. I said it on like my 4th date with my first gf lol, but that was also when I was 17 and in puppy love for the first time.

 

[Jokab]

I'm going on 11 months with my gf and we haven't said it either. It'll come.

 

[ZackieChan]

It usually takes me a year or more to say seriously to the girl I'm with. I don't know what's "normal" but 6 months without saying it seems pretty ok to me.

Also you just said the relationship isn't gonna last, seems like a great reason to never drop the L bomb.

I should post your WeChat talk from the other day, you sad bastard.

Anyone know what the popular dating sites/apps are in Prague and Budapest? Asking for a friend.

 

[vern]

I should post your WeChat talk from the other day, you sad bastard.

Anyone know what the popular dating sites/apps are in Prague and Budapest? Asking for a friend.

Hey now, saying it to you and saying it to a girl directly is two very different things. Also I said I was joking. So feel free to post it buddy

 

[ZackieChan]

Hey now, saying it to you and saying it to a girl directly is two very different things. Also I said I was joking. So feel free to post it buddy

I don't believe a word you say.

Did you break up with her yet?

Btw, Holy fuck China internet is awful

 

[artsi]

Relationship of 3 years ended a while ago, but I'm over it now and feeling like it's cool to meet some people again.

Installed Tinder a week ago, been chatting with a girl for a few days on Whatsapp, and got a date for next week.

I've been to a ton of online dates before and there's nothing new here, but I'm still nervous (yet excited) starting the process again with all the uncertainty how things pan out with this girl.

 

[vern]

I don't believe a word you say.

Did you break up with her yet?

Btw, Holy fuck China internet is awful

Nah we are laying here listening to music and cuddling lol. True love. And yep I gotta leave this country. So sick of Internet here. Maybe I'll take the lady with me🙇🏻

 

[SeanC]

Meetin' this gal tonight after some good chats on Coffee Meets Bagel. First on that app that's been seen through to actually getting together.

In terms of online connecting as a whole: Huzzah she didn't flake! Was getting tired of that because it's exhausting, but she seems genuinely cool and excited to meet.

Should I wear my nice plaid shirt and pants with boots or my gimp mask and choker? Tough call.

 

[M52B28]

Did I just 'simp'?

The girl I've mentioned posts back asked me to do a photoshoot for a magazine she knows a few folks in because she wasn't going to make it. I agreed to because I was interested in it, and I didn't want to disappoint her because it seemed she really wanted me to do it.

So, she asks me if I have a portfolio of photographs to show the staff, I say no, but I let her know that I would have stuff together the next morning. Instead of wanting to wait, she tells me that she's going to pull them from my Facebook. Skeptical, I say okay because it was late at night and I wanted to sleep.

Waking up, I see the email she sent of my photos, and she chose some of my worst photos and put a photo that wasn't even mine in it. She didn't check back to see if her selection was good, she just did it all herself and botched the whole thing. She didn't even tell them about me within the email and only suggested that I'm an "amazing and warm spirited person" and that I wanted to take over directing of the shoot.

After getting that, I immediately text her about my mistake and she responds with "oops". Knowing what this can do to artists, I get kind of pissed. We met at the studio to work and I approached her about it again, and she gave me a monotone response. I asked her why she was so mellow about it and she didn't really respond to that.

I started to dig, and I asked her about her missing the shoot, and she mentions she's going to France unexpectedly for a work trip. She then asks about galleries within Paris that she should visit.

She didn't even say anything about emailing them about the mistake and she left it up to me to clean up, so I spent the whole next morning working out an email for the staff that included my portfolio, an apology and a quite a bit about myself.

After that, she then criticizes me for not having a portfolio ready at all times.

Man, I am annoyed. The staff of the magazine hasn't even contacted me. The shoot is this Sunday, so they probably think I'm a fool for not doing this myself.

I feel like she just dumped that on me and didn't give a shit.

I asked the instructor that's sometimes in the studio about what she did and he said "That's the kind of shit that comes back to bite you in the ass later in your career. I was talking to her, and it seems she's naive when it comes to understanding how the world works."

With that, I feel like any interest in dating is gone. I'm not sure I want to go out with her to this open gallery and indie film viewing.

Just frustrated now.

 

[ZackieChan]

That's not simping.

Spoiler

You should always have a portfolio website and CV ready to go, man.

 

[SeanC]

Well that date went really well. Met up for drinks after work and next thing I know it's midnight. A lot of talking, good sense of humor, we're looking to set up a dinner and maybe something fun for next week. Not sure yet, will have to do some googling on what's going on that might be entertaining seeing as we have similar tastes. Maybe a jazz show.

Not bad for not being on an actual date in over two years. She was surprised when I told her that because apparently I dun good.

 

[brawly]

so how do you guys recommend approaching someone who you've never really interacted with before?

there's this really cute girl i see around on campus sometimes but i've never spoken to her before, and idk how to go up to her without it being weird

Are you new there? If so I'd ask her a random question, "excuse me, do you know where room X is" or whatever. Whether or not she knows her way around doesn't matter, it'll be a good way to at least talk to her.

 

[M52B28]

That's not simping.

Spoiler

You should always have a portfolio website and CV ready to go, man.

Whatever I did, I feel stuoid for allowing for it to happen.

The thing is, I don't actually showcase my photography or art, and if I do, it's usually on Facebook. Although what I do has a certain class to it, I don't take it seriously, and that's because it's just me experimenting and trying to keep my brain from going bored.

Anyways, I told her, pretty much, everything I'm telling you. I had a few drinks, so last post was drawn out and rant like. I'm still annoyed, but I've let it go, for the most part, but I hope she doesn't do stuff like this later on because I have a few other things I want to do with her that will help her with her art.

I also hope she doesn't act surprised that I didn't do the shoot when she comes back from Paris next week.

 

[Kurtofan]

I have a huge confidence deficit these days, I'm having a hard time finding the will to talk online, what can I do to gain more confidence.

 

[brawly]

I have a huge confidence deficit these days, I'm having a hard time finding the will to talk online, what can I do to gain more confidence.

Improve your self image. New haircut, new clothes, working out. All of it helps.

 

[chicko1983]

I have a huge confidence deficit these days, I'm having a hard time finding the will to talk online, what can I do to gain more confidence.

I go in huge swings of confidence, from bordering on overconfidence where I can ask any women who I meet out to not wanting to leave home to hang out with friends.

Honestly, the thing that makes me confident is talking to as many people (my friends or family, not necessarily strangers) face to face as possible. The thing that makes me anxious is being rejected by someone I like.

Eating well and doing exercise also helps a little bit. But nothing improves my confidence more than actually having a laugh with someone.

 

[IC5]

I have a huge confidence deficit these days, I'm having a hard time finding the will to talk online, what can I do to gain more confidence.

Skip the online and do more to make real life connections. Online is a tool, not a replacement.

 

[TCKaos]

Hey GAF, is it unreasonable for me to be uncomfortable at the idea of an open relationship? I'm not under any pressure or about to be in one or anything, it's just a topic of conversation that has come up a bunch between a friend and I. She thinks it's the future and I'm a prude for outright knowing that I'm probably not ever going to be comfortable being in one.

She talks about it like it's the shit and the solution to all of society's problems and I'm over here having trouble getting laid at all, let alone drowning in options. I understand that it's a function of my low self-esteem and jealousy, but I'd like to think that my unwillingness to have an open relationship doesn't make me Hitler.

 

[Sorcerer]

I've dated my current girlfriend for almost 6 months and neither of us have said I love you yet.

Oops

That's great actually. You need to let the infatuation phase end and see what feelings you are truly left with.
The fact that you both have not rushed to say it probably indicates your relationship is based on more solid ground.

 

[ZackieChan]

Hey GAF, is it unreasonable for me to be uncomfortable at the idea of an open relationship? I'm not under any pressure or about to be in one or anything, it's just a topic of conversation that has come up a bunch between a friend and I. She thinks it's the future and I'm a prude for outright knowing that I'm probably not ever going to be comfortable being in one.

She talks about it like it's the shit and the solution to all of society's problems and I'm over here having trouble getting laid at all, let alone drowning in options. I understand that it's a function of my low self-esteem and jealousy, but I'd like to think that my unwillingness to have an open relationship doesn't make me Hitler.

Not at all. She's being unreasonable.

 

[M52B28]

Just chilled with a co-worker with drinks. He grilled me on giving a damn about a woman's advancements.

I was talking to him about the women I know, and he said "If you really care about them, then why are you fucking around?"

Some good stuff he said to me.

Anyways, my company wants me to ask someone out to go outdoors with, so I'm going to take the girl I've getting to know in odd ways up on her initial advancement and Invite her hiking.

Brr

 

[Izuna]

Saw a damn fine girl on the bus as I'm leaving Uni. Expressed my feelings and got her FB. I usually never intrude like that but I couldn't resist.

My ex/BFF is claiming I need to hide all these pictures of us together on FB. Am I silly for not doing that?

Pfffft, I'm the same age as this girl but she just finished her Master's while I'm 2nd Year. I feel like that'd be the biggest hurdle. Fuck it, let's see where this goes.

 

[Unai]

Saw a damn fine girl on the bus as I'm leaving Uni. Expressed my feelings and got her FB. I usually never intrude like that but I couldn't resist.

My ex/BFF is claiming I need to hide all these pictures of us together on FB. Am I silly for not doing that?

Pfffft, I'm the same age as this girl but she just finished her Master's while I'm 2nd Year. I feel like that'd be the biggest hurdle. Fuck it, let's see where this goes.

Unless that's the 2nd Year of High School, I doubt that it will be a problem.

 

[FLAguy954]

Damn, just went out for drinks with this chick that pretty much lied by omission. Lots of things about her threw me off. First of all I had to pick her up, then she reveals that she just moved here (Metro Atlanta). She also gradually reveals that she is currently unemployed (because of a job transfer gone south) and that she has one kid (huge turn-off).

Good thing the drinks were cheap. I definitely won't be seeing her again.

 

[cordy]

Well GAF, did something huge tonight. Told my best friend I still had feelings for her. Let me start off with our backstory though. I'm 29, she's 28. We've been friends for a decade (online) and throughout my relationships she's always been there and helped me recover from them considering the girl's always ended them. Around 5 years ago I told her I had feelings and she turned me down, understandable and it was cool. We talk for hours daily. As with most of these situations, the feelings didn't die. I just started liking different women and all and kept that on the backburner. Anyway, she's been in a long-distance relationship for maybe 6 years now and apparently it's in a bad state and has been for a while unfortunately for her.

Fast-foward to the past month. I've been working on my music (I'm an artist) and I told her I needed time to record and just get in music mode. She understood but throughout the time she's said that she's felt as though she was lonely and she wished I talked more, that type of thing and I understood. I feel the same but we both know this is my passion. I said as soon as I get done with the recording we'll be back on usual schedule, usually our talks have gone from maybe 5-6 hours daily if not more down to 1 a day during this time. She doesn't spend much time talking to her boyfriend daily, maybe 2 hours at most.

So I get done with recording and I then go on a work trip for a week, same situation with me being drained and all. One day she randomly spills out her relationship issues with her boyfriend, she says she's having trouble and they have major problems. He's not wanting to evolve it and she's sick of waiting, she says their relationship's a hollow joke but she's one of the types that hangs on. It's long-distance. She's wondering if she's miss him or their conversations more, she's given him ultimatums but ultimately held on. She's also never really been in a relationship besides that one, she hasn't been hit on ever really and the only other guy who asked her out, she turned him down because in her own words she "was too immature and wasn't attracted to him and he was too late", I'm going to assume that's me given I informed her of my feelings the first time way too late. Regardless, I said I'd be there to support her no matter what. Pray for their relationship, the works, just hope it all works out for the best for her.

So I get back a few days ago from my work trip and I was still drained a lot. We haven't talked much but we got into an argument towards my attitude and just not being in a talking mood. I messaged her today apologizing for it since it was my fault as a whole. She's been trying to reach out and all but because of music and work I've just been so drained mentally it's been wild. We're still in that "ok we argued but we're not talking" phase these past few days. I don't know why but something told me to do this so I actually told her how I felt through a message. I told her that I still had feelings and I know it's a bad idea to say it but I didn't feel right holding the feelings in. She hasn't responded yet to it since I'm sure she's in that "ok we're not speaking for a bit because of an argument" phase and also she's probably trying to wrap her head around what's said.

Even though it was probably a bad idea, better to go on and say it and get it out of the way, I was hiding it in too long and I feel free. No matter what happens, if she doesn't feel the same or if she just wants to stop talking for good (we might have periods where we stop talking for days), I feel good that I got it off my chest. Of course there's other stuff that goes on with us that I think other boyfriends/girlfriends wouldn't approve of, we talk so much that if we ended up dating we wouldn't change how often we talk, just a lot of stuff but that's the gist.

I'm really not sure where this will end up, we're adults and really given how we act, I just don't know. Either way it is what it is. It's a chapter that hopefully ends well and if not then I've learned a valuable lesson. Can't mess around as an adult.

 

[Salamando]

Bunch 'o' Text

Have you ever met this girl in meatspace (aka real life)?

It's good you told her how you feel. But damn if that good wasn't preceded by five years of bad.

 

[cordy]

Have you ever met this girl in meatspace (aka real life)?

It's good you told her how you feel. But damn if that good wasn't preceded by five years of bad.

We're planning on meeting early next year. For context, she hasn't met her current bf yet either. We want to meet but there's money issues in the way. I pay my car off early next year ($400 a month) so I should have the funds shortly after that.

Yeah I know what you mean. I get a feeling she's already known but I have no idea yet.

 

[Troubled Bat]

Well, I might just ask out a friend of mine that I'm interested in whenever she hangs out with me and a bunch of friends on Halloween. Should be interesting. She definitely likes me, so well see..

 

[MTE]

We're planning on meeting early next year. For context, she hasn't met her current bf yet either. We want to meet but there's money issues in the way. I pay my car off early next year ($400 a month) so I should have the funds shortly after that.

Yeah I know what you mean. I get a feeling she's already known but I have no idea yet.

As far as I'm concerned, she doesn't have a boyfriend.
What could possibly be her situation that she can't find anyone local to her?
This seems... suspicious.

 

[vern]

She's been dating a guy 6 years and they've never met?

And your friend for 10 and you talk to her for 2 hours every day and never met? You used to talk 5 hours per day?

Seriously ... something is really fucked here. Are you sure everything is on the level? Do you buy her gifts?

 

[cordy]

As far as I'm concerned, she doesn't have a boyfriend.
What could possibly be her situation that she can't find anyone local to her?
This seems... suspicious.

She used to be fat but she dropped over 100lbs. All throughout school and college she was quiet, kept to herself and was mostly online. She only lost the weight close to 2 years ago which was mid-way with the current boyfriend.

But yeah she was fat so no one hit on her, quiet and an online/pc body. She's been online since before she became a teen.

She's been dating a guy 6 years and they've never met?

And your friend for 9 and you talk to her for 2 hours every day and never met?

Seriously ... something is really fucked here. Are you sure everything is on the level? Do you buy her gifts?

Yep. She's been wanting to meet him and she's given him ultimatums but it just never happens and she's still with him. And yes, we talk around 5-6hrs a day these days but that's only been for maybe the past 5 or so years, before that it was maybe around 2 hours a day. When we became friends, I used to hangout with a lot of locals here but through time I've stopped talking to them. Me and her though we've just gotten closer and closer throughout the years and even when we have arguments/fights, we're still good in the end because we understand each other.

Sorry I don't understand but what do you mean on the level? I've never heard that phrase before lol.

Yeah I buy her gifts at time (Christmas and birthday) and she does the same for me. There was even a point where I needed 500 dollars to go on a major trip and she gave me the money for it surprisingly because she believed in my dreams. Even when she had loans she provided the money. Of course I paid her back since she's got her own money issues, it was the fact she did it in general which was interesting.

I'm just so confused with it all.

 

[Salamando]

We're planning on meeting early next year. For context, she hasn't met her current bf yet either. We want to meet but there's money issues in the way. I pay my car off early next year ($400 a month) so I should have the funds shortly after that.

Yeah I know what you mean. I get a feeling she's already known but I have no idea yet.

On second thought, I'm not sure how good it is to tell a girl you're romantically interested in her when she's in a relationship with someone else, and has confided in you that it's going downhill.

What I am sure of - HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YA'LL DOING? Let's just count the bad, shall we? (for both you and the girl)

- Entering a LDR without having plans to remove the LD part.
- Entering a LDR without having met first, and not having plans to meet at all.
- Doing the above for six years. Just, damn.
- Talking to a platonic friend, daily, for 5-6 hours.
- Talking to a platonic friend, daily, for more than she talks to her boyfriend.
- Becoming despondent when said talking takes a break for a month.
- Ultimatums! Always a hallmark of a healthy relationship.
- Not following through on said ultimatums.
- Holding a torch for a girl, for 5 years, likely to the detriment of other relationships.
- Holding a torch for a girl, for 5 years, when you know she has a boyfriend.
- Holding a torch for a girl, for 5 years, after she turned you down.

And I'm sure I'm missing some. Point is, the girl is codependent, you are an emotional crutch and likely enabling bad behavior, if her and her boyfriend were really into each other they would've found a way to meet in six years, and you're probably best left cutting contact and moving on. If you spent 5-6 hours a day on sculpting, you could Pygmalion yourself a girlfriend by now.

 

[jadedm17]

As far as I'm concerned, she doesn't have a boyfriend.
What could possibly be her situation that she can't find anyone local to her?
This seems... suspicious.

This.

Ten years and never met? There's a lot of red flags here.
Six years with her boyfriend and never met?
My ex was Syracuse NY to Boston MA and I took a bus twice a month. You find money for that.

Where do you, her and her boyfriend live?

truth bombs

On point as always.

The only LDR that work are ones with goals to remove the LD part; She doesn't want a relationship, she wants an emotional crutch.

 

[ZackieChan]

We're planning on meeting early next year. For context, she hasn't met her current bf yet either. We want to meet but there's money issues in the way. I pay my car off early next year ($400 a month) so I should have the funds shortly after that.

Yeah I know what you mean. I get a feeling she's already known but I have no idea yet.

Oh hell no. All of it.

Damn, just went out for drinks with this chick that pretty much lied by omission. Lots of things about her threw me off. First of all I had to pick her up, then she reveals that she just moved here (Metro Atlanta). She also gradually reveals that she is currently unemployed (because of a job transfer gone south) and that she has one kid (huge turn-off).

Good thing the drinks were cheap. I definitely won't be seeing her again.

Just moved here? Unemployed? I wouldn't say that it's a requirement that you disclose that prior to a date. Maybe the kid, but even then, meh. You didn't marry her, you went on a fucking first date for drinks. Mellow out a bit.

 

[cordy]

Just want to thank everyone for their responses with this. It's really helping a lot. The thing with our friendship is that we rarely speak about relationship issues. It gets brought up at times but it's very rare. Only recently has it gotten to the point where she's told me the severity of her relationship but before that she's given some small comments. We never really go into detail about that. Usually speak on other things.

On second thought, I'm not sure how good it is to tell a girl you're romantically interested in her when she's in a relationship with someone else, and has confided in you that it's going downhill.

Yeah seriously, it was a bad mistake on my part and I don't know why I did it, I've been holding it in for a while but I was like "well fuck it let's see what happens" to get it out of the way so maybe now I can move on.

What I am sure of - HOLY FUCK WHAT ARE YA'LL DOING? Let's just count the bad, shall we? (for both you and the girl)
- Entering a LDR without having plans to remove the LD part.
- Entering a LDR without having met first, and not having plans to meet at all.
- Doing the above for six years. Just, damn.

See, that's what's weird to me because they did have plans and from what I remember years ago, she planned on them meeting around the first or second year but it just never happened. I'm really not sure why, I didn't bring it up or anything but it only hit me recently that they still haven't met and she's still with him. I mean I don't get it.

- Talking to a platonic friend, daily, for 5-6 hours.
- Talking to a platonic friend, daily, for more than she talks to her boyfriend.

Yep, this would be different if we were together but we're not. We don't even talk about relationships or anything. We just watch videos, talk about our day, forums online, regular life things non-relationship related. It's always fun but yeah I know what you mean by the amount of time talking.

- Becoming despondent when said talking takes a break for a month.

Yep.

- Ultimatums! Always a hallmark of a healthy relationship.
- Not following through on said ultimatums.

Yeah this worried me when she said that because it shouldn't even come to that.

- Holding a torch for a girl, for 5 years, likely to the detriment of other relationships.
- Holding a torch for a girl, for 5 years, when you know she has a boyfriend.
- Holding a torch for a girl, for 5 years, after she turned you down.

Yep I agree. I've been in other relationships and even tried to get into ones here but it just never works out for some reason. I'm not ugly, I'm not fat either so I'm not sure what it is.

And I'm sure I'm missing some. Point is, the girl is codependent, you are an emotional crutch and likely enabling bad behavior, if her and her boyfriend were really into each other they would've found a way to meet in six years, and you're probably best left cutting contact and moving on. If you spent 5-6 hours a day on sculpting, you could Pygmalion yourself a girlfriend by now.

Ah I see, interesting so you should suggest I stop being friends with her completely or just stop talking for a bit? Try to get a girlfriend? I mean, I've really tried over the years but it just never works out for some reason. The girls here either end up being taken, lesbians or just don't like me. I always end up with the "you're a great guy any girl would be lucky to have you" type of thing which is what it is.

This.

Ten years and never met? There's a lot of red flags here.
Six years with her boyfriend and never met?
My ex was Syracuse NY to Boston MA and I took a bus twice a month. You find money for that.

Where do you, her and her boyfriend live?

Me and her live on opposite sides of the US. He on the other hand lives in another country completely. We haven't met yet simply because our work schedules (we used to work regular low level department store jobs, she then went to college for a bit and we were low on money) and besides that I've been having issues myself dealing with getting a car, moving out and just getting on my feet for a bit. Only within these past few years have things been situated but that's mostly because I've been promoted a bit at work and I've found a way to support myself since my roommate ditched me.

Yeah the 6 years and boyfriend never meeting is real.

On point as always.

The only LDR that work are ones with goals to remove the LD part; She doesn't want a relationship, she wants an emotional crutch.

I think she wants to remove the LD part but it just feels like (to me maybe) she doesn't want to remove it enough. She has low self-esteem so I think that might be one reason she's holding onto the relationship. If I understand right, because she was bigger and shy back in the day that's given her those issues. I just don't get it but I do know that since she hasn't met him in 6 years then there's a problem there I mean if she gives ultimatums and still with them there's an issue. My feelings aside, she can do better.

Oh hell no. All of it.

Yeah I've been reading this here for a while and I understand why people would say that, definitely. It's just weird to me idk, I think her self-esteem issues is keeping her in the relationship but that's me personally.

 

[jadedm17]

She's only going to change when she wants to change.

You don't need to stop being friends - or even being that close - but you're going to have to accept things as they are; She has no will to better her current relationship (if you can call it that) so there's realistically no chance of anything romantic between you. It's best to move on in that regard.

Truthfully you both have a lot of excuses : No chance in ten years to meet? Really? Ten years?
If you put two quarters away a day you'd have had $912 a half a decade ago.

Relationships to her seem like more of a comfort, she seems unwilling to do the work involved in adult relationships. She's spent almost a quarter of her life with someone she's never met; That's a very bad sign.

Not trying to be harsh, just calling it as I see it.

 

[cordy]

She's only going to change when she wants to change.

You don't need to stop being friends - or even being that close - but you're going to have to accept things as they are; She has no will to better her current relationship (if you can call it that) so there's realistically no chance of anything romantic between you. It's best to move on in that regard.

Truthfully you both have a lot of excuses : No chance in ten years to meet? Really? Ten years?
If you put two quarters away a day you'd have had $912 a half a decade ago.

Relationships to her seem like more of a comfort, she seems unwilling to do the work involved in adult relationships. She's spent almost a quarter of her life with someone she's never met; That's a very bad sign.

Not trying to be harsh, just calling it as I see it.

It's all good. Any opinions or comments I'm willing to take note. I mean it is what it is. I'm really not in the position to do anything with her given her current relationship. It's really all up to her. No use on me waiting especially given I'm not even sure if she's want to move to the next level.

With that said, we're friends so I think I do need to meet her sooner than later to get it out of the way. It didn't hit me until this thread that it was pretty weird we've been friends for 10 years and still haven't met yet. I'm going to look into that.

Keep up with the opinions people, loving them. This is really helping me out.

 

[ZackieChan]

It's all good. Any opinions or comments I'm willing to take note. I mean it is what it is. I'm really not in the position to do anything with her given her current relationship. It's really all up to her. No use on me waiting especially given I'm not even sure if she's want to move to the next level.

With that said, we're friends so I think I do need to meet her sooner than later to get it out of the way. It didn't hit me until this thread that it was pretty weird we've been friends for 10 years and still haven't met yet. I'm going to look into that.

Keep up with the opinions people, loving them. This is really helping me out.

My "oh hell no" above wasn't about her, it was about both of you. "Really up to her" means she's never gonna do a damn thing. What's the next level? It certainly isn't any physical intimacy.

Don't bother looking into meeting with her, in my opinion. The whole thing seems to be a disaster. I didn't even read your whole first post, yet I feel like I don't have to. Ridiculously long post about someone you're not in a relationship with who you've never actually met? Full of a bunch of meaningless events that aren't necessary to get an understanding of things? It's a telltale sign that nothing has and nothing ever will happen. I'd love to be proven wrong someday, but I don't think I have yet.

 

[cordy]

My "oh hell no" above wasn't about her, it was about both of you. "Really up to her" means she's never gonna do a damn thing. What's the next level? It certainly isn't any physical intimacy.

Don't bother looking into meeting with her, in my opinion. The whole thing seems to be a disaster. I didn't even read your whole first post, yet I feel like I don't have to. Ridiculously long post about someone you're not in a relationship with who you've never actually met? Full of a bunch of meaningless events that aren't necessary to get an understanding of things? It's a telltale sign that nothing has and nothing ever will happen. I'd love to be proven wrong someday, but I don't think I have yet.

I mean, that's your opinion and you're free to have it. I think you should read the rest of the posts but if you don't feel like you need to then you don't have to. It's all good.

I'll see how it turns out.

 

[vern]

I mean, that's your opinion and you're free to have it. I think you should read the rest of the posts but if you don't feel like you need to then you don't have to. It's all good.

I'll see how it turns out.

I've read it all and I gotta say that I don't think he needs to. What he's saying is solid. We've been down this road many times in dating age. Your story isn't unique, except for the fact that it's ten years lol. Usually people start to realize they dun goofed by year 3 of talking every day and never meeting.

 

[ZackieChan]

I've read it all and I gotta say that I don't think he needs to. What he's saying is solid. We've been down this road many times in dating age. Your story isn't unique, except for the fact that it's ten years lol. Usually people start to realize they dun goofed by year 3 of talking every day and never meeting.

I mean, that's your opinion and you're free to have it. I think you should read the rest of the posts but if you don't feel like you need to then you don't have to. It's all good.

I'll see how it turns out.

What Vern said. I mean, what is your end goal for the relationship? Some dirty talk or cybering? Because you basically talk every day and all that, so what would be different. The problem is that she doesn't seem to want anything more, and I have a feeling that you do.

But the real issue is of overinvestment. You are UNBELIEVABLY invested in this woman, and the super long post full of unimportant details (that you probably swear are all crucial) is a telltale sign. As Vern said, it's happened in these threads numerous times.