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[cordy]

Christ, what the fuck is going on in here

Cordy, whatever the hell this "relationship" you have with this random Internet woman is not healthy. You say talking for five hours a day is normal, but the only examples you bring up are married people. Are you two married? No. I have plenty of people I talk to online, but never for more than like an hour total for all of them (most of that is work downtime) and if I can't talk for a period of time they aren't going to throw a goddamn fit. Why? Because we're all adults. I won't even get into the rest of it.

I think you misunderstood my post. When I said "they worked their way up to that" I meant they started off talking a little and then worked their way up to talking that much before they got married and then I named some examples of people who were married. It's not as if they talked a small amount, got married and all of a sudden reached a large amount. For example, 2 friends of mine talk that much right now and they don't have romantic feelings for each other from what I can tell. Another set of friends started talking for hours daily and then they got together, now they're still dating. Another set of friends started talking for hours, started dating and now they're married with a child. It varies.

It sounds as though people haven't seen that before so it's pretty interesting to me given that's usually what happens here. If anything, the people who don't spend a lot of time talking here are the ones who end up in divorces or breakups. Where are you all from? I'm in the Southern US so it might be a location thing or it might be specific to here.

This thread's honestly the first place I've heard of that not being the norm considering since school days that seems to be the general trend. Interesting stuff overall.

I see you've changed talking 5hours per day to basically "hanging out with skype open" while you do other stuff.

Of course in a relationship (a real relationship) people hang out with each other and talk, that's normal, though I don't think your parents, grandparents, etc. would answer that they talk for 5 hours per day if you asked them. Most people have lives, outside of their relationship even. They work, they have hobbies, they have friends, and yeah they also have each other. Hanging out is fine, even if it is virtual, though I still think 5 hours is a lot even for married people, but it's more normal than what you initially made it out to be. But I still think your relationship with her is pretty wacky. Can't imagine being friends for 10 years and liking someone for 5 and never taking a plane out to see her. Seems fishy still... even with all your explanations. Good luck to you dude.

I'm not trying to make my situation better, that's just what it is lol. I'm just leaving a lot of details out a lot of details considering I can't exactly give a breakdown of my life through posts. I hope people didn't think I was logging onto Skype and talking to someone for 5 hours straight as if that's all I did, sitting in front of the computer, sending a message each 10 seconds or so. If so then that's not what it is at all. When we talk I always have at least 5 other tabs open with a game on the site with other things open, it varies. The same with her.

Thanks man and I understand it's all good. When I mean my funds have been weird these years I mean that. At one point I was even trading in early gen PS3 games just to buy milk to last a month. I couldn't even hangout with friends in certain places since hanging out costs money, let alone take a plane to visit someone across states. Now because of this job I've gotten enough money to at least pay for internet which helped me get in my current position and only now has my financial situation gotten a lot better giving me better opportunities. If I had more money then I would have probably visited her already but I just didn't have that.

That's just how the dice rolls.

 

[vern]

I think you misunderstood my post. When I said "they worked their way up to that" I meant they started off talking a little and then worked their way up to talking that much before they got married and then I named some examples of people who were married. It's not as if they talked a small amount, got married and all of a sudden reached a large amount. For example, 2 friends of mine talk that much right now and they don't have romantic feelings for each other from what I can tell. Another set of friends started talking for hours daily and then they got together, now they're still dating. Another set of friends started talking for hours, started dating and now they're married with a child. It varies.

It sounds as though people haven't seen that before so it's pretty interesting to me given that's usually what happens here. If anything, the people who don't spend a lot of time talking here are the ones who end up in divorces or breakups. Where are you all from? I'm in the Southern US so it might be a location thing or it might be specific to here.

This thread's honestly the first place I've heard of that not being the norm considering since school days that seems to be the general trend. Interesting stuff overall.

I'm not trying to make my situation better, that's just what it is lol. I'm just leaving a lot of details out a lot of details considering I can't exactly give a breakdown of my life through posts. I hope people didn't think I was logging onto Skype and talking to someone for 5 hours straight as if that's all I did, sitting in front of the computer, sending a message each 10 seconds or so. If so then that's not what it is at all. When we talk I always have at least 5 other tabs open with a game on the site with other things open, it varies. The same with her.

Thanks man and I understand it's all good. When I mean my funds have been weird these years I mean that. At one point I was even trading in early gen PS3 games just to buy milk to last a month. I couldn't even hangout with friends in certain places since hanging out costs money, let alone take a plane to visit someone across states. Now because of this job I've gotten enough money to at least pay for internet which helped me get in my current position and only now has my financial situation gotten a lot better giving me better opportunities.

I'm from America but I've lived in a few different countries. Not exactly sure why it matters. I find that people who are so obsessed with their significant other that they don't give them space to be themselves tend to break up more. I can't imagine talking to the same person for hours every day for years on end. Seems like hell, no matter how much you love them.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

There's some heavy stuff here, but I just came to say that my first date in 3,5 years is tomorrow and I'm getting goosebumps. I hope all goes well.

You got this. Remember, they are just a normal person. Just have fun!

 

[Commanche Raisin Toast]

So I've been doing the online dating thing for about 2 months now, and I gotta say, it's been a rollercoaster and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I'm looking for connection, affection, some simple company and activities, and maybe sex if I'm lucky. If things develop into a relationship- cool. If not, that's okay too.

Below are my experiences with matches that actually got beyond small talk on tinder/okc/bumble. I get tons of matches but they either never responded or they ghost me.

Girl A: Seemed charming and nice, but really young, and seemingly only interested in sex. Asked if I would ever go to a 'sex club' (she described it as a normal club except where people have sex randomly in front of everyone) and I responded with firm "no". She faded away shortly after that.

Girl B: Just moved back into town after being out of state for 2 years for internships. Living with her parents and looking for a job. We go out, we hit it off very quickly, we kiss. We text all day every day for weeks, go out a few more times, and things seem like they're headed toward becoming a relationship. I'm crazy about her. Then she stops texting me for days and then suddenly says we need to talk. I get the whole "I'm not ready for something right now and I really like you, but I need time to work on myself" etc talk and I'm pretty let down by it. Since then she's texted me on and off and randomly says she misses me, but never actually goes through with making plans with me despite all my efforts. I'm wasting my time and it's playing with my emotions.

Girl C: Very attractive, 6 years older than me, single mom but doesn't need a dad for him. Rarely texts me, but when we try to meet up something usually comes up. We finally met up over the weekend for her birthday but by the time I got there she was hammered drunk with her friends so I didn't get a good feel for what she's like, and I'm worried that she's going to fade away too like the others.

Girl D: One of those classic "doesn't look anything like her photos situations. She's fun to talk to, we have good conversational chemistry, but I'm just not attracted to her at all. She's been texting me a lot after the date and I need to tell her soon where I stand.

So basically every single one of these ends up being a failure to launch kind of deal. No follow through, no clear idea of what's happening, or I'm not into them. I feel like I'm wasting my time, but I've been without companionship, affection, and general romance for nearly 3 years now. (I'm in the process of divorcing, so just let that sink in for a moment...)

I've even tried to just strictly get laid (without the weird sex club thing) and I can't even manage that. I know what I want, and I'm putting in the effort, but things are just farting away. I don't want to meet new people at bars, and the speed dating type events here in Houston are either out of my age range or they're expensive and aren't tailored to my type of people. Meeting people out in the real world at my age (31) is incredibly hard and usually results in bad experiences or "slim pickings" to be honest.

GAF: Should I quit? Am I setting my expectations too high? Is it unrealistic for me to want some kind of romance in my life after being without it for years? Am I reading these girls wrong?

My anxiety is making me constantly question myself and every decision I make. :/

 

[cordy]

I'm from America but I've lived in a few different countries. Not exactly sure why it matters. I find that people who are so obsessed with their significant other that they don't give them space to be themselves tend to break up more. I can't imagine talking to the same person for hours every day for years on end. Seems like hell, no matter how much you love them.

Man, it's just very interesting to me that a lot of people can't talk to others for hours I mean yeah I can understand not being able to talk for hours non-stop with no breaks and what not every day, but just in general

Yeah I agree. People always need some time to themselves whether to unwind or get their thoughts into place.

I definitely have space and time to myself. On my busiest workdays I've got at least a few hours alone to do what I want but by then I'm usually so drained due to work that I'm just listening to podcasts and gaming or making plans. On my off days that's a good amount of the day considering the work time that's not there's usually all to me.

 

[Messofanego]

Ray Wonder, do you live in the middle of bumfuck where there is no one else to date that you need to deal with this struggle relationship that has red flags popping everywhere? Mental health, living arrangements, "stealing", exes that haven't moved on, and ok to get into a fight over a girl. Who has time for this much drama?! There are so many people "perfect" for us (I'd replace perfect with most compatible imo), you just haven't given anyone else a chance to find out. This myth of "the one" is just so destructive. Read your posts again, from the outsider perspective like we are doing and realise you're worth more than this.

Been talking to this girl for a month, I've seen her everyday, but she's not really over her ex. She's said she's left dude in the past for about a month before she ends up back with him. She says she regretted leaving to go back to him, and wants this time to be different. They lived together for over a year, and what's different this time is she actually moved out. Said she never planned on doing that, but she liked me enough to take that chance. They took their good old time moving out, maybe 8 times going to the apartment to get things together, and she said nothing happens but just talk and cry about how it's over. Now yesterday, she went out bowling with him. She told me it wasn't a date, and that I don't have to worry, that she's not going anywhere. After I heard that, I told her that I was done, that I couldn't handle her ex constantly prowling, and in her phone everyday trying to sweet talk her back. Just to have her leave him in a few months. I can't handle the stress, I'm not going to get feelings for someone that I know has a big chance of leaving at any moment.

So, after I sent that, she said "Wow, this is absolutely crazy. I was about to tell you that when I was with him all I could think about was you." "I gotta say, I'm broken. Just when I made my decision, that it was you."

A few messages back and forth and I'm at square one, with the ex around, and me still tolerating it. They were together three years, and it's hard to compete with that history, especially when he's telling her things like "I was about to marry you, give you a house, and kids. All you had to do was wait a little longer."

She said he told her that he can tell that she's falling for me, and is fading from him. When they were bowling.

Idk what tf to do. I know I have about a 50/50 chance of getting fucked over so fuckin hard, but I like this girl way too much to let her go back to him. Considering she told me she's left him 10+ times, tried killing herself, and he laid hands on her. I don't want that for her.

Help me lol

I said that, but it's more that I want to steal her than save her. I could honestly imagine a future with her if this works out. She's basically perfect for me, besides that she listens to country (No she's not a trump supporter lmao). Never clicked with someone like her before.

Also, I kinda want to be able to sing Trey Songz "It's mr steal your girl" and be for real about it. lol

And tbh I've been in my fair share of tuffles and I'm not worried about him. I got like 40 lbs on him too, he's not v big.

She said she took a handful of pills that she didn't know what they were. And said she tried to drown herself. I already told her she needs to see a therapist because that's not normal.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

So I've been doing the online dating thing for about 2 months now, and I gotta say, it's been a rollercoaster and I'm ready to throw in the towel. I'm looking for connection, affection, some simple company and activities, and maybe sex if I'm lucky. If things develop into a relationship- cool. If not, that's okay too.

Below are my experiences with matches that actually got beyond small talk on tinder/okc/bumble. I get tons of matches but they either never responded or they ghost me.

Girl A: Seemed charming and nice, but really young, and seemingly only interested in sex. Asked if I would ever go to a 'sex club' (she described it as a normal club except where people have sex randomly in front of everyone) and I responded with firm "no". She faded away shortly after that.

Girl B: Just moved back into town after being out of state for 2 years for internships. Living with her parents and looking for a job. We go out, we hit it off very quickly, we kiss. We text all day every day for weeks, go out a few more times, and things seem like they're headed toward becoming a relationship. I'm crazy about her. Then she stops texting me for days and then suddenly says we need to talk. I get the whole "I'm not ready for something right now and I really like you, but I need time to work on myself" etc talk and I'm pretty let down by it. Since then she's texted me on and off and randomly says she misses me, but never actually goes through with making plans with me despite all my efforts. I'm wasting my time and it's playing with my emotions.

Girl C: Very attractive, 6 years older than me, single mom but doesn't need a dad for him. Rarely texts me, but when we try to meet up something usually comes up. We finally met up over the weekend for her birthday but by the time I got there she was hammered drunk with her friends so I didn't get a good feel for what she's like, and I'm worried that she's going to fade away too like the others.

Girl D: One of those classic "doesn't look anything like her photos situations. She's fun to talk to, we have good conversational chemistry, but I'm just not attracted to her at all. She's been texting me a lot after the date and I need to tell her soon where I stand.

So basically every single one of these ends up being a failure to launch kind of deal. No follow through, no clear idea of what's happening, or I'm not into them. I feel like I'm wasting my time, but I've been without companionship, affection, and general romance for nearly 3 years now. (I'm in the process of divorcing, so just let that sink in for a moment...)

I've even tried to just strictly get laid (without the weird sex club thing) and I can't even manage that. I know what I want, and I'm putting in the effort, but things are just farting away. I don't want to meet new people at bars, and the speed dating type events here in Houston are either out of my age range or they're expensive and aren't tailored to my type of people. Meeting people out in the real world at my age (31) is incredibly hard and usually results in bad experiences or "slim pickings" to be honest.

GAF: Should I quit? Am I setting my expectations too high? Is it unrealistic for me to want some kind of romance in my life after being without it for years? Am I reading these girls wrong?

My anxiety is making me constantly question myself and every decision I make. :/

It sounds like you just had some bad dates. Online dating is like rolling a dice. You may roll once and get what you need or you could roll 20 and still miss out. There is no real reason to quit unless you have another plan of action right?

To use sports as an analogy you had a bad season. But you still put numbers on the board. If you quit yoi basically just missed the season. That counts for nothing. It doesn't improve your situation at all. Its just a stat sheet full of DNP.

You can't succeed if you refuse to try. So the answer is just keep at it.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Ray Wonder, do you live in the middle of bumfuck where there is no one else to date that you need to deal with this struggle relationship that has red flags popping everywhere? Mental health, living arrangements, "stealing", exes that haven't moved on, and ok to get into a fight over a girl. Who has time for this much drama?! There are so many people "perfect" for us (I'd replace perfect with most compatible imo), you just haven't given anyone else a chance to find out. This myth of "the one" is just so destructive. Read your posts again, from the outsider perspective like we are doing and realise you're worth more than this.

Lol, I just fall for the dysfunction apparently. Seems like every relationship I step into has a lot of red flags.

 

[gwailo]

GAF: Should I quit? Am I setting my expectations too high? Is it unrealistic for me to want some kind of romance in my life after being without it for years? Am I reading these girls wrong?

My anxiety is making me constantly question myself and every decision I make. :/

Online dating is a numbers game. 4 people is really nothing, especially in a huge city like Houston. It's why you don't put that much effort into it. Keep your profile simple (most people barely read them anyway) with good pics, don't waste a lot of time going through profiles looking for the "perfect" person, get numbers/contact info quickly, make the first date something simple, so on and so forth.

My opinions:

Girl A is probably some sort of pro (ie, hooker).

Girl B you got invested too quickly with. You shouldn't be spending all day every day texting/talking with someone you've only gone on one date with. She maybe felt like things got too serious (ie too much time) too quickly and realized she should be focusing on getting a job and moving out rather than getting dates on Tinder, so her excuse does make sense.

Girl C is probably just looking for some D. You will see that a lot with single moms in that age range. If you're cool with that try to arrange something where you meet up one on one.

Girl D - it is what it is - just text her and say you had a nice time but didn't feel any sparks, etc. It happens, no reason to feel guilty about it.

 

[ZackieChan]

Man, it's just very interesting to me that a lot of people can't talk to others for hours I mean yeah I can understand not being able to talk for hours non-stop with no breaks and what not every day, but just in general

Yeah I agree. People always need some time to themselves whether to unwind or get their thoughts into place.

I definitely have space and time to myself. On my busiest workdays I've got at least a few hours alone to do what I want but by then I'm usually so drained due to work that I'm just listening to podcasts and gaming or making plans. On my off days that's a good amount of the day considering the work time that's not there's usually all to me.

You must live on Mars or something with all these hours in the day.

Spoiler

Actually, I have no idea which planets have longer days...I assume Mars is one of them

Lol, I just fall for the dysfunction apparently. Seems like every relationship I step into has a lot of red flags.

That last girl you were in here talking about was stringing you along but wouldn't leave the house or whatever, and had some kind of illness. It sounds like you are really into "saving" people. Once you date someone who doesn't have these kind of issues, is independent, and doesn't treat you like shit, it's a real breath of fresh air. You just don't know it because you always seem to be in too deep with the bad ones.

GAF: Should I quit? Am I setting my expectations too high? Is it unrealistic for me to want some kind of romance in my life after being without it for years? Am I reading these girls wrong?

My anxiety is making me constantly question myself and every decision I make. :/

2 months is nothing, and it sounds like half of that was spent in a relationship with someone. You texted too damn much, though, as Gwailo said. Slow your roll and take things easy. Your experiences don't even seem that bad, to be honest. Have you read the last few pages of this thread?

 

[Ray Wonder]

That last girl you were in here talking about was stringing you along but wouldn't leave the house or whatever, and had some kind of illness. It sounds like you are really into "saving" people. Once you date someone who doesn't have these kind of issues, is independent, and doesn't treat you like shit, it's a real breath of fresh air. You just don't know it because you always seem to be in too deep with the bad ones.

She doesn't treat me like shit, other than the ex thing. She like brings me lunch to work sometimes, cooks for me often, buys me little cute things, always says really nice motivating things to me throughout the day, took care of me when I was hammered a couple times, helped me quit smoking, motivated me to get back in the gym, my family fucking loves her.

I'm gonna miss the fuck out of this girl. already. fuck.

n yes, she got a song too lmao

 

[Commanche Raisin Toast]

It sounds like you just had some bad dates. Online dating is like rolling a dice. You may roll once and get what you need or you could roll 20 and still miss out. There is no real reason to quit unless you have another plan of action right?

To use sports as an analogy you had a bad season. But you still put numbers on the board. If you quit yoi basically just missed the season. That counts for nothing. It doesn't improve your situation at all. Its just a stat sheet full of DNP.

You can't succeed if you refuse to try. So the answer is just keep at it.

That's true. I guess I'm just worried about neglecting my emotional needs by only focusing on myself (getting a new apartment, saving up money, trying to get the divorce moving forward) but I'm also afraid that my self esteem is going to take a hit by dating going badly.

I'll try to clear my mind and stay at it for a bit longer and maybe consider a "break".

Edit: read everyone else's replies.

Thanks everyone. Sounds like I'm just too anxious and I'm moving at the wrong pace and putting too much pressure on myself all at once. Definitely a bad combination.

I'm going to clear my head for a few weeks while I get ready to move and then come back in a better frame of mind. I also need to get better pics. I have very few photos of me that aren't selfies. People don't really take pics of me. (red flag? Haha)

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I also need to get better pics. I have very few photos of me that aren't selfies. People don't really take pics of me. (red flag? Haha)

Lol. Naw. Best way to get pics is to go do some cool activity with friends that would be cool to have pictures of. I dont have a ton of random with people pics but I wemt on a cool hike in the summer and got a lot of pics from that.

Stuff like that is both natural and makes for easy discussion. If you hang out with mostly men pics are harder to come by generally also.

 

[Spinluck]

Holy crap, that's insane.

 

[Commanche Raisin Toast]

Lol. Naw. Best way to get pics is to go do some cool activity with friends that would be cool to have pictures of. I dont have a ton of random with people pics but I wemt on a cool hike in the summer and got a lot of pics from that.

Stuff like that is both natural and makes for easy discussion.

I do lots of fun stuff with my friends but nobody ever takes pics of me. It's weird. Sometimes I'm in group pics but usually some of those people don't want me posting it anywhere other than Facebook. Maybe I can find some decent ones and crop them out.

I know a lot of photographers though so I might see if they can take some casual shots that don't look too pretentious.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I do lots of fun stuff with my friends but nobody ever takes pics of me.

Ask them to. Give em your phone and say "can you take a pic of me". If you want them you just have to ask.

Sometimes I'm in group pics but usually some of those people don't want me posting it anywhere other than Facebook. Maybe I can find some decent ones and crop them out.

Also a legitimate option. Will reiterate though. Just ask for some pics. Sometimes people dont know you want em til you ask.

I know a lot of photographers though so I might see if they can take some casual shots that don't look too pretentious.

Also a good idea. Though pretentious can be fun too Just pictures so its all about it looking good and you enjoying it. Everythimg else is just gravy.

 

[cordy]

Damn mega-huge update. So she messaged me and said she's had feelings all these years but due to the fact that I didn't seem like I was interested after she turned me down and due to the fact she was in a relationship she didn't let me know. She started liking me years after turning me down. She and her ex-bf now broke up the other day. We still plan on meeting early next year but now since we know each other's feelings we'll see what happens.

Shouldn't have even made my post that quick but damn that's the best thing I could hope for. Dope.

Thanks GAF fam!

You must live on Mars or something with all these hours in the day.

Spoiler

Actually, I have no idea which planets have longer days...I assume Mars is one of them

Lol.

My schedule's like this

8:30-6: Work
6-7: Do whatever
7-12 Usually: Talk to her while doing other things like playing games, eating, working out, music, reading, online, whatever
12-2: Same as above except alone
2-8:30: Sleep

On weekends replace the work part with more of what I do when I'm alone and also add in visiting family, hanging with reals IRL if need be.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already if you talk for 5 hours a day

 

[Milly Osworth]

Talking to someone for 10 years without even meeting and then then claiming to be in love with each other, while she has an online only relationship with some dude for 6 years she also never met in person.

That sounds so damn weird. How can you not set up a meeting in 10 years? And the 6 year relationship without meeting is even more bizarre.

I'm willing to be open minded, but you can not be in a relationship without meeting someone. Actual chemistry is not possible through a cable.

 

[cordy]

That sounds so damn weird. How can you not set up a meeting in 10 years?

It makes sense when you look at it as a whole.

First 5 years - Casual online friends. She was juggling college and a low level department store job while I was juggling a low level job and other relationships and spent more time hanging out IRL. Wasn't serious enough friends to set up a meeting. We weren't talking a lot at this point.

6-8 year - Became closer friends but my life was really screwed when I had to find an apartment and then my roommate ditched and then you factor in the fact that I needed a better job. I was really living off of water and ramen noodles at this point. Didn't even have a car either so I had to find ways to get to work. She on the other hand was still in college, with the current boyfriend and while we talked, we both had money issues.

Past 2 years - Got a new job and was promoted allowing me to finally get some money to myself along with a car. She graduated and has a stable job and her relationship's had issues. This is when we started talking as much as we do now.

We didn't even mention potentially meeting in the first 5 years because it was casual talk. When it was brought up financially it just couldn't have happened especially considering other situations. Some things are more important such as getting on our feet and providing for both of our families. That goes above any meeting especially considering we can talk online.

Thanks for the comments though GAF Fam, appreciate it. I'm glad things are happening as is and I didn't expect it but it was worth it. Everything always eventually works out in the end no matter if you ask for it or not. I feel great, free and now I can go down this new road in life.

 

[Llyranor]

That's a solid 10-yr plan. I'd hire you if this was a job interview.

 

[WolfeTone]

.

Reading your posts makes me feel like you kind of enjoy the drama. I'm kinda like that too, I love it when there's shit going on, makes me feel like I'm part of something important. This girl is messing you around though. She's going to keep going back to him or she's going to get with you and one of you will get bored when all the drama is over.

.

I can't imagine anything coming from this. I'm glad that she has returned your feelings but what's the long-term plan here? You live on different sides of the country. You may go visit her next year as you say, but what then? Are you going to see her that one time then go back home and have a long distance relationship? Are you going to move to be with her? Are you honestly fulfilled from a relationship that's thus far been 100% online? Do you think you'd be happy in a romantic relationship that's likely to be 99% online?

I know you said you have limited options where you're living at, but really? Every girl you meet is either a lesbian or sees you just as a friend? This 10 year online-only friend is your best chance at happiness?

You've got to live your own life man but I could never do that. I admire your patience.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Everything always eventually works out in the end no matter if you ask for it or not.

Nu uh, this is false. I hate myself today.

 

[gaiages]

I can't

I just can't

10 year plans

Songs about dysfunctional women

Nope

 

[WolfeTone]

I can't

I just can't

10 year plans

Songs about dysfunctional women

Nope

I love waking up in the morning, checking the DatingAge thread and seeing two new pages. That's when I know it's going to be a good read.

Never change GAF.

 

[Messofanego]

To be honest, I only come here for the horror stories.

 

[gwailo]

Thanks for the comments though GAF Fam, appreciate it. I'm glad things are happening as is and I didn't expect it but it was worth it. Everything always eventually works out in the end no matter if you ask for it or not. I feel great, free and now I can go down this new road in life.

With the person whose last "boyfriend" was someone that they were with for 6 years but never met?

I have a feeling that when it will come down to meeting, there will always be an excuse, just like all of the other times. Oh, I don't have money. Oh, my job is really busy. Oh, I need to take care of my family.

Ah, whatever, I'm done with this. Have fun living through Skype for another 10 years.

 

[cordy]

I can't imagine anything coming from this. I'm glad that she has returned your feelings but what's the long-term plan here? You live on different sides of the country. You may go visit her next year as you say, but what then? Are you going to see her that one time then go back home and have a long distance relationship? Are you going to move to be with her? Are you honestly fulfilled from a relationship that's thus far been 100% online? Do you think you'd be happy in a romantic relationship that's likely to be 99% online?

I know you said you have limited options where you're living at, but really? Every girl you meet is either a lesbian or sees you just as a friend? This 10 year online-only friend is your best chance at happiness?

You've got to live your own life man but I could never do that. I admire your patience.

Definitely not.

If everything works out then it'll turn into an in-person relationship. Career-wise my job allows me to move anywhere in the US if a position pops up so it wouldn't be easy to move then. We'll meet, see how it goes and then work from there. If it ends up that way then it ends up that way but I don't ever plan on a relationship staying an online-only relationship. Even my serious ones years ago eventually turned in-person. I said I wouldn't do onlines anymore years ago after my ex. This girl however I knew before my ex and she's been there through the years as a friend, she's helped me not only career-wise but she's helped during bad times. Even before I had feelings for her she was my best friend so she's an exception to the rule but other onlines? Nah just can't do it. If all works out it'll turn in-person only.

Man, you have no idea the selection here. It's like a bad sitcom lol. It's always the same way it's crazy but it is what it is. I don't worry about that stuff.

Patience-wise, over these years getting a great financial situation, helping family, getting a great job and going through with my career, all of those things have weighed more on me compared to a relationship. You see it as patience but to me it's been one of those "oh yeah a relationship, that's right" type of things. I've spent way more time on those than worrying about what'll happen in my life with a woman. They always come first. I mean really, if I was living off of water and ramen noodles for years, there's no way I could set up a potential meeting. That's just common sense. That's just a lack of funds.

Nu uh, this is false. I hate myself today.

Man you need to relax, it'll all work out for you. Maybe not soon but if something bad happens you can always recover with the next one. That's what I mean when I say it'll all work out. You might be going through a bad situation now but that won't be the case a month from now. Just switch your game up and be good.

It's cool.

With the person whose last "boyfriend" was someone that they were with for 6 years but never met?

I have a feeling that when it will come down to meeting, there will always be an excuse, just like all of the other times. Oh, I don't have money. Oh, my job is really busy. Oh, I need to take care of my family.

Ah, whatever, I'm done with this. Have fun living through Skype for another 10 years.

And like I said, you're free to have your own opinion. I'm not going to sweat someone over their opinion lol. It's all good.

 

[Llyranor]

False hope and wishful thinking can be dangerous drugs.

 

[Ray Wonder]

Man you need to relax, it'll all work out for you. Maybe not soon but if something bad happens you can always recover with the next one. That's what I mean when I say it'll all work out. You might be going through a bad situation now but that won't be the case a month from now. Just switch your game up and be good.

It's cool.

No offense, I may be fucked up, but I can't take relationship advice from you.

 

[Llyranor]

Lmao. You're a good guy, Ray.

 

[cordy]

No offense, I may be fucked up, but I can't take relationship advice from you.

Bruh I'm not offended one bit lmao. I don't mean to offend you either but I didn't read what's going on in your relationship. I mean I don't know what's going on. I just said you need to keep your head up regardless of what you're going through life. That goes for careers, family issues, your future, whatever. That's not specific advice, that's just common sense. I mean Pac had a song about it. Listen to Pac.

But be on your way man, great luck to you lol.

 

[ZackieChan]

It makes sense when you look at it as a whole.

First 5 years - Casual online friends. She was judging college and a low level department store job while I was jugging a low level job and other relationships and spent more time hanging out IRL. Wasn't serious enough friends to set up a meeting. We weren't talking a lot at this point.

6-8 year - Became closer friends but my life was really screwed when I had to find an apartment and then my roommate ditched and then you factor in the fact that I needed a better job. I was really living off of water and ramen noodles at this point. Didn't even have a car either so I had to find ways to get to work. She on the other hand was still in college, with the current boyfriend and while we talked, we both had money issues.

Past 2 years - Got a new job and was promoted allowing me to finally get some money to myself along with a car. She graduated and has a stable job and her relationship's had issues. This is when we started talking as much as we do now.

We didn't even mention potentially meeting in the first 5 years because it was casual talk. When it was brought up financially it just couldn't have happened especially considering other situations. Some things are more important such as getting on our feet and providing for both of our families. That goes above any meeting especially considering we can talk online.

Thanks for the comments though GAF Fam, appreciate it. I'm glad things are happening as is and I didn't expect it but it was worth it. Everything always eventually works out in the end no matter if you ask for it or not. I feel great, free and now I can go down this new road in life.

Congrats, I guess.

No offense, I may be fucked up, but I can't take relationship advice from you.

i lol'd

 

[WolfeTone]

No offense, I may be fucked up, but I can't take relationship advice from you.

Laughed out loud at work reading this.

Bless you Raymond.

 

[Zaraki_Kenpachi]

Wish there was a better way not to get bummed out. I'm over it now but went on 5 dates with a woman I really enjoyed and then I didn't hear back after she was supposed to text me and then when I asked if everything was alright she said stuff came up at work and with her family and she has no time to date. First person I really enjoyed going out with in a while.

 

[gaiages]

I am legit crying at work this is too much

 

[cordy]

Congrats, I guess.

Appreciate it.

Same with all the good responses, advice and opinions. Funny enough the day I make a post in here with a story it's fixed quickly so right now I don't really have anything else to say. I hope everything works out for everyone else with their relationships and if not, hope their next one is their best one.

Later y'all, thanks again I mean it. I'm outty 5000.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

It makes sense when you look at it as a whole.

First 5 years - Casual online friends. She was judging college and a low level department store job while I was jugging a low level job and other relationships and spent more time hanging out IRL. Wasn't serious enough friends to set up a meeting. We weren't talking a lot at this point.

6-8 year - Became closer friends but my life was really screwed when I had to find an apartment and then my roommate ditched and then you factor in the fact that I needed a better job. I was really living off of water and ramen noodles at this point. Didn't even have a car either so I had to find ways to get to work. She on the other hand was still in college, with the current boyfriend and while we talked, we both had money issues.

Past 2 years - Got a new job and was promoted allowing me to finally get some money to myself along with a car. She graduated and has a stable job and her relationship's had issues. This is when we started talking as much as we do now.

We didn't even mention potentially meeting in the first 5 years because it was casual talk. When it was brought up financially it just couldn't have happened especially considering other situations. Some things are more important such as getting on our feet and providing for both of our families. That goes above any meeting especially considering we can talk online.

Thanks for the comments though GAF Fam, appreciate it. I'm glad things are happening as is and I didn't expect it but it was worth it. Everything always eventually works out in the end no matter if you ask for it or not. I feel great, free and now I can go down this new road in life.

The best thing about this post is that in that 10 year gap FF15 still hasn't come out. That's all I could picture.

So whose really losing gaf?

 

[Salamando]

The best thing about this post is that in that 10 year gap FF15 still hasn't come out. That's all I could picture.

So whose really losing gaf?

We are, for batting our heads against his problem for the last twelve hours, only for everything to work out in his apparent favor?

 

[Llyranor]

The best thing about this post is that in that 10 year gap FF15 still hasn't come out. That's all I could picture.

So whose really losing gaf?

Let's not be hasty. FFXV will still come out before he meets this girl.

Let this be a lithmus test for anyone else who might absorb and learn from this thread's advice rather than 'appreciating' it. If it took more time for you to meet a girl you are interested in than it took FFXIIIVersus/XV to be announced and released, something is wrong.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

We are, for batting our heads against his problem for the last twelve hours, only for everything to work out in his apparent favor?

I'll gladly take this L. I wish every L felt this good.

 

[notaskwid]

I'm glad for you cordy. Relationships are not linear, they can come in all shapes and forms, as long as you're happy with the result, who cares.
Many people will think that it will not work out (I'm the same opinion).
Many people will say that you've been wasting your time, from their prespective this is true, because they would never do something like it, but, from reading your prespective, it doesn't seem like that's the case. I just want to tell that even if it does fail, after the initial inevitable pain, you'll be able to look back and think it was still worth it.
Best of luck!

 

[Damerman]

Those sound like BS "attempts" - like not even cry for help stuff, more like pay attention to me crap. Again, more drama and it will never end for these types of people. She probably loves having two guys throwing themselves over her

Bruh, try to empathyze at least once with the girl. There is no reason to paint her in that light.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Let's not be hasty. FFXV will still come out before he meets this girl.

Let this be a lithmus test for anyone else who might absorb and learn from this thread's advice rather than 'appreciating' it. If it took more time for you to meet a girl you are interested in than it took FFXIIIVersus/XV to be announced and released, something is wrong.

We got a new Star Wars movie last year. Anything is possible.

(And now I just realized that cordy met that girl when Revenge of the Sith came out.)

EDIT: Dating-Age |EPVII| Revenge of the Simp

 

[ZackieChan]

Dating-Age |OT7| Ten years in the making

 

[Ray Wonder]

Dating-Age |OT7| Stuck in development hell

 

[War Peaceman]

10 years a slave... to pussy: the Cordy story

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Dating Age |OT7| A Fantasy Based on Reality

 

[Llyranor]

Come on, this thread has many posts left in it to provide us with more entertaining horror stories.

 

[names2hard4you]

Holy crap. This thread blew up.