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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already

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Just because she rarely goes out doesn't mean she doesn't like going out. I tell people the same thing but mostly so they can fuck off with their small talk.

I'm guessing you need to work on your social pleasantries. You never know when someones small talk opener can lead to something better or of interest.
 

Salamando

Member
Funnily enough, I wasn't able to finish with my lady tonight either. First time we were together, I chalk it up to performance anxiety. I also used the wrong condoms (sometimes I pop too early, hence I usually start with the numbing condoms).

She's definitely started thinking long term. Low-key referred to herself as girlfriend, mentioned baking Christmas cookies together, showed her parents my picture..I'm not as sure, but I don't know if it's her or if I'm reluctant to enter a relationship. That's more of a question for my therapist than anything.

My reservations - she'll never sleep over. She lives at home, and her parents don't allow it. She values intelligence almost to the point of being elitist (need to investigate further). I won't tolerate foolishness either, but I won't hold a lack of smarts against someone. And she has zero interest in letting me introduce her to a gym. I love working out, I love that spent feeling after an intense day, and I'm let down I can't share it with her.
 
I asked her what she does on the weekends and after the job and if she is out a lot and she replied with that she rarely goes out and rather spends time at home
I asked because it's possible she said that as way to rebuff you preemptively. :p Only one way to find out of course.
 

Gizuko

Member
How old are you, if you don't mind?

I know some people are hopeless romantics but don't fall for the first one. Catch some friendly feelings, date her a bit, learn to sex, and then move on.

I'm 23. Not my first relationship, but it was my first time. Also, how come? Is there a reason I'm not aware of?

I did it with her because I felt attracted to her and felt a connection. I'm not saying we should start a relationship but I'm not seeing why we shouldn't, either.
 
I'm 23. Not my first relationship, but it was my first time. Also, how come? Is there a reason I'm not aware of?

I did it with her because I felt attracted to her and felt a connection. I'm not saying we should start a relationship but I'm not seeing why we shouldn't, either.

love and sex are not mutually exclusive. You'll learn this the more experience you get. You just need to get over the dogma.
 

gaiages

Banned
I'm 23. Not my first relationship, but it was my first time. Also, how come? Is there a reason I'm not aware of?

I did it with her because I felt attracted to her and felt a connection. I'm not saying we should start a relationship but I'm not seeing why we shouldn't, either.

People tend to get more attached to the person they lose virginity to than they should.

It's really more just making sure you don't get too clingy too quickly.
 
Funnily enough, I wasn't able to finish with my lady tonight either. First time we were together, I chalk it up to performance anxiety. I also used the wrong condoms (sometimes I pop too early, hence I usually start with the numbing condoms).
I know that feeling mang.

Yesterday morning, i realized I was out of Skins (great brand imho. Only ones I like). I had some Trojan her pleasures left but well, those suck...

We decided to go raw. Yeah...

I think I lasted like 5 thrusts.
 
I know that feeling mang.

Yesterday morning, i realized I was out of Skins (great brand imho. Only ones I like). I had some Trojan her pleasures left but well, those suck...

We decided to go raw. Yeah...

I think I lasted like 5 thrusts.

Congrats on the baby!

J/k, I hope for your sake.
 

Gizuko

Member
I admit to feeling a bit lost regarding how to behave now, and I was/am worried about becoming attached.

I fact, I realize stating that I had lost my virginity followed by that bit about catching feelings might have seemed like a huge red flag, but I have had it in the back of my mind for a few days.

While I do want to get more experience and learn more about sex and how it affects relationships, I decided not to rush things a while back, having connected with my first partner is good enough.

Thank you all for the heads up!
 
I admit to feeling a bit lost regarding how to behave now, and I was/am worried about becoming attached.

I fact, I realize stating that I had lost my virginity followed by that bit about catching feelings might have seemed like a huge red flag, but I have had it in the back of my mind for a few days.

While I do want to get more experience and learn more about sex and how it affects relationships, I decided not to rush things a while back, having connected with my first partner is good enough.

Thank you all for the heads up!

Thing is why are you both afraid to catch feelings? Was this just a hook-up? I think a lot of confusion and fear could be avoided (or at the very least lessened) by clarity and knowing that you two are what you are. Not to say that people can 100% turn off the switch and not have feelings (bc frankly that's impossible), but making things clear helps.
 

artsi

Member
That would be a twist.

But yeah, she is low fertility in her cycle. I think we're safe.

Well...

tumblr_nezshmpscp1s6w6foo1_500.gif
 

Gizuko

Member
Thing is why are you both afraid to catch feelings? Was this just a hook-up? I think a lot of confusion and fear could be avoided (or at the very least lessened) by clarity and knowing that you two are what you are. Not to say that people can 100% turn off the switch and not have feelings (bc frankly that's impossible), but making things clear helps.

I'm afraid of becoming attached yo my first sexual partner, I don't mind catching feelings per se. She... Well, she did tell when we first started talking that she wasn't looking for anything specifically, and she sometimes gives off the impression that she might be catching them but doesn't want to consider it yet.

It is way too early, though, which is what I think frightens the both of us the most.
 

Xun

Member
Are you guys actually exclusive? The way you're writing it sounds vague. Did she explicitly say she is exclusive to you?
She said "I thought we kind of were official already?" when I asked her and she said I'm the only person she's seeing, so I guess so?

After a few drinks it's hard to completely recall what was said, but she said nothing happened whilst she was away and she has no intention going forward.

She just seems hesitant to put a label on it at the moment.
 
I'm afraid of becoming attached yo my first sexual partner, I don't mind catching feelings per se. She... Well, she did tell when we first started talking that she wasn't looking for anything specifically, and she sometimes gives off the impression that she might be catching them but doesn't want to consider it yet.

It is way too early, though, which is what I think frightens the both of us the most.

From experience, usually the more afraid you are that something is going to happen, the more likely that something ends up happening. I wouldn't worry about it unless you start catching feelings, in which case, you should let her know and maybe break it off if she doesn't feel the same.
 
Just discovered a fourm here in Japan about relationships, love, blah blah blah...


People who are gay sex friends but going to dudes wedding and crying, couple who are so into each other they skip work to have sex, lady who found out her boyfriends piano teacher is a sexy milf and is freaking out, and girls wondering if they should just bang the next good looking guy hey find to lose their virginity cause the guy she likes ain't getting the hint lol.

Man no wonder this country's got so many relationship issues... but also there is some scandalous ass shit on here that I just can't stop reading haha.
 

vypek

Member
Just discovered a fourm here in Japan about relationships, love, blah blah blah...


People who are gay sex friends but going to dudes wedding and crying, couple who are so into each other they skip work to have sex, lady who found out her boyfriends piano teacher is a sexy milf and is freaking out, and girls wondering if they should just bang the next good looking guy hey find to lose their virginity cause the guy she likes ain't getting the hint lol.

Man no wonder this country's got so many relationship issues... but also there is some scandalous ass shit on here that I just can't stop reading haha.

The way it comes across is as a forum that is pretty much all really interesting posts to read that would even outshine the stereotypical GAF-level relationship threads. I wish I could read Japanese cause it sounds incredibly fun to read lol
 
The way it comes across is as a forum that is pretty much all really interesting posts to read that would even outshine the stereotypical GAF-level relationship threads. I wish I could read Japanese cause it sounds incredibly fun to read lol

I mean I'm sure this stuff goes on everywhere, heck gaf is an example of that but just in the mood to enjoy some gossipy drama. Feel bad for some of these people cause they are getting what I would say is mixed advice in some places.
 
When you walk into your incredibly hot girls condo in chicago and she is only 23 and find out she is a fucking hoarder but you still really want to make out. I almost walked out it was that crazy. I dont even want to talk about her fridge.

Why has my dating life been so weird lately.

My OKC profile is to good for how much i want to be dating. I get messages from 2-3 decent attractive, interesting, people every weekend that makes me want to meet them. By monday i have 3-4 first dates lined up. Then i wonder where all my free time goes.
 

Leeness

Member
When you walk into your incredibly hot girls condo in chicago and she is only 23 and find out she is a fucking hoarder but you still really want to make out. I almost walked out it was that crazy. I dont even want to talk about her fridge.

Why has my dating life been so weird lately.

My OKC profile is to good for how much i want to be dating. I get messages from 2-3 decent attractive, interesting, people every weekend that makes me want to meet them. By monday i have 3-4 first dates lined up. Then i wonder where all my free time goes.

45288e7a879e479ec2c3a3de41b1c436.jpg
 
Just discovered a fourm here in Japan about relationships, love, blah blah blah...


People who are gay sex friends but going to dudes wedding and crying, couple who are so into each other they skip work to have sex, lady who found out her boyfriends piano teacher is a sexy milf and is freaking out, and girls wondering if they should just bang the next good looking guy hey find to lose their virginity cause the guy she likes ain't getting the hint lol.

Man no wonder this country's got so many relationship issues... but also there is some scandalous ass shit on here that I just can't stop reading haha.

To dating GAF, it was a regular month.
 
This thread is always a rollercoaster when I visit. I'm here to provide some sanity.

I'm happy to be able to say that my girlfriend and I are still going strong. We have officially been in a relationship for a month now. I had the opportunity to visit her last week before our semesters started, and it was an awesome time.
 

Disxo

Member
Just secured Netflix and chill guys, interestellar, and everything is ready.
Any suggestions? Never done anything like this before.

Btw, I live in a students residence so I only have a bed and a lot of pillows.
 

MogCakes

Member
This thread is always a rollercoaster when I visit. I'm here to provide some sanity.

I'm happy to be able to say that my girlfriend and I are still going strong. We have officially been dating for a month now. I had the opportunity to visit her last week before our semesters started, and it was an awesome time.
Grats! Just hit the 3 month marker with mine.
 

Peltz

Member
Just secured Netflix and chill guys, interestellar, and everything is ready.
Any suggestions? Never done anything like this before.

Btw, I live in a students residence so I only have a bed and a lot of pillows.

If the bed is against the wall, give her the side closest to the wall. Then lay in the middle of the bed so she's in physical contact with you the entire time.

Immediately put your arm around her and hold her close as the movie starts. Don't be afraid of or shy away from physical contact.
 
This thread is always a rollercoaster when I visit. I'm here to provide some sanity.

I'm happy to be able to say that my girlfriend and I are still going strong. We have officially been in a relationship for a month now. I had the opportunity to visit her last week before our semesters started, and it was an awesome time.
Congrats, hope for many more months and years!
 
I'm nearly 4 months in. Talking about shit that would make even Mega think I'm moving to fast.

Edit: not prostitute dating Mega, face-saving Mega
 
GAF, I'm kinda at my wit's end here. So this girl I was talking about, who essentially went dark on me for over a week, only to reach out to me with a "sorry, I've been busy, how have you been?". I was just about to write her off and move on. We chat for a while, and she appears happy to go on another date, but when I start suggesting times she goes "well, I'm really busy with work, let us see as we go along". No counter-offers or anything. At that point I put the ball in her court and asked her to suggest the next date. I feel completely discouraged from any further advances towards her, which wouldn't be an issue if I didn't miss her company a lot. I told her as much when she said the same about me last time we met. And now this. What's going on?

I guess I should try dating more than one person at a time, but I dunno... that seems complicated. Besides, dating a single person seems enough to drain my energy.
 

Ralemont

not me
GAF, I'm kinda at my wit's end here. So this girl I was talking about, who essentially went dark on me for over a week, only to reach out to me with a "sorry, I've been busy, how have you been?". I was just about to write her off and move on. We chat for a while, and she appears happy to go on another date, but when I start suggesting times she goes "well, I'm really busy with work, let us see as we go along". No counter-offers or anything. At that point I put the ball in her court and asked her to suggest the next date. I feel completely discouraged from any further advances towards her, which wouldn't be an issue if I didn't miss her company a lot. I told her as much when she said the same about me last time we met. And now this. What's going on?

I guess I should try dating more than one person at a time, but I dunno... that seems complicated. Besides, dating a single person seems enough to drain my energy.

Other dudes? Work stress? Conflicting feelings?

After the past year of many first-second-and third dates, I have just learned to not worry about how other people feel. Either they wanna spend time with you or they don't, and literally the only way they can show this is through their actions. If they are not willing to meet then you have your answer.

Last Sunday I had an amazing first date. Rolled through beer gardens and bars, kissing, basically spooning in the park. She was adamant she wanted to see me again. So we scheduled for Thursday, but she's a resident and got off late so I decided to let her rest up and we'd do Sunday. Sat night I contacted her and gave her location options, she said she's get some sleep and contact me in the morning with what she felt up for.

Haven't heard from her since. Deleted the text convo and started talking to other people. It sucks because it 100% leads to jadedness and not being able to be excited about new people, but it's better than spending time worrying about what she's thinking.
 
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