Story time. Probably sharing a bit more openly than I would normally. 34, M, Chicago, not even remotely Krauser Kat level of looks or game.
So I've disabled my OKC account again due to having basically no time for the next month and a half. It's been a good run, and I'm in a vastly better place than I've been since moving into the city two years ago.
Much of the improvement has come in the last thirteen months. In July of last year I got rejected by a woman after two dates, and I felt like I took it harder than I should have. It was the most I had been interested in somebody through the entire previous year of internet dating, and it made me realize how utterly bad and outclassed I was at dating as an adult.
Since then, I've:
- Lost about 10-15 more pounds, while also building a lot of muscle (down from medium "overweight" to about the upper end of normal weight).
- Replaced about 90% of my wardrobe, including socks and shoes, getting some damn fashion sense in the process.
- Generally upgraded my apartment with actual furniture, rather than holdovers from my grad school days.
- Kept my apartment in generally better condition, and more ready to handle guests on short or no notice.
- More regularly attend professional & hobby events, to keep active and connected.
- Started taking an art class, to make me a more interesting person with more channels to feel a connection with people. I've had multiple women show an interest in the thing I mention in my profile.
- Been more deliberate with who I am continuing to see, and who I have no intentions of seeing again. I used to kind of do the slow, gradual fade far too often-- text after the first meeting, chat them up, but deep down know I have no intentions of seeing them again. I've changed to more either not texting them after the first date if I know there's nothing, or telling them that I don't see it going further if it seems be not-mutual.
I've gone from like 1-in-8 internet dates working out in some way to something like 1-in-2 or 1-in-3. It has been a clear, discernible improvement as I've improved my basics. I'm more relaxed on dates, and probably come off as a nicer, more interesting and more genuine person, and it has paid off.
I still have a lot of room for improvement, though.
- I need a better variety of clothes for different occasions and types of dates.
- I need to have a better selection of default dates, so I can schedule dates without really doing any specific planning.
- I need to be chattier and more decisive in getting numbers from people I'm meeting in the regular, non-internet-dating world.
- I should probably be trying to use Tinder for some hookups, rather than trying to fit every connection on every app to a friendly desert/coffee/walk type meeting. In the past, I've found one-night-stands to not really be worth it, but I'm in a very different circumstance and mindset now, and could probably benefit from having a healthier and more casual view to that kind of thing.
Well, that's all. There's probably some people here that could get inspiration or ideas from what I've typed, I hope.
