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[artsi]

She's looking for attention/self esteem boost. I would maybe ask her out one more time and if she says no again, she's never going go beyond anything than text buddies.

Yea I agree with gwailo, ask her out once more if she says no then its time to move on.

Yeah I thought about that, but she did write in her bio that she's willing to meet if things click well enough on conversation level.

I didn't want to give up that easily because we seem to have a lot of same interests.

Anyway, I asked her out again today and turns out she was thinking about it too. And it's a date next week!

 

[Jindrax]

Hi guys. Can you throw some good second date ideas. I took her out to a nice bar on the first. Now I need something for the second date. Which will be in the evening.

 

[names2hard4you]

Hi guys. Can you throw some good second date ideas. I took her out to a nice bar on the first. Now I need something for the second date. Which will be in the evening.

A walk in the city or mall, go for a coffee, play some board games at a cafe, watch a movie, go to a stand-up show... Idk so many places you could go to. Just pick a place where YOU would like to go to enjoy yourself with her. I shared my experience here recently on how our plans basically went to shit because of public transit and we just made it all work.

 

[M52B28]

Oh, okay, whew. I was just imagining how in the weird this crazy ass lady that spits on people is attractive, hot body or not

I like my women mentally exotic.

😆

The girl I've been mentioning has been bringing up her fear of rape in the United States quite a bit. She mentioned how some of the guys on my campus act towards her and it made me think about what she said.

When she brings it up, I don't mind discussing it, but how should I go along addressing her concerns about it?

I don't want her to feel like she's being taken advantage of.

 

[Dreadnought]

Damn Gaf someone help me make sense of this.

So the semester is almost over and so I went to this girl who has shown sign of interest in me and ask her if she wants to study with me for the final. She says yes and gives me her number. We text and eventually she gives me the address to her house so I can go over and study. Makes sense so I go there and when I arrive she introduces me to her bf. Being nice I still helped her study. But really I don't know what to make of it all

 

[M52B28]

Damn Gaf someone help me make sense of this.

So the semester is almost over and so I went to this girl who has shown sign of interest in me and ask her if she wants to study with me for the final. She says yes and gives me her number. We text and eventually she gives me the address to her house so I can go over and study. Makes sense so I go there and when I arrive she introduces me to her bf. Being nice I still helped her study. But really I don't know what to make of it all

That's your fault for not asking if she had a boyfriend. On top of that, you asked her to study with you, not to go out for a night.

Did you want to date her or take her out or something?

 

[Dreadnought]

That's your fault for not asking if she had a boyfriend. On top of that, you asked her to study with you, not to go out for a night.

Did you want to date her or take her out or something?

I thought she was interested in me so after this final was done tomorrow yeah I was gonna ask. But is it not weird to invite someone you basically just met to your house?

Perhaps I should have been more upfront with her, but is it not strange to drop hints then reveal you have a bf?

 

[M52B28]

What types of hints? There's stuff you don't mention like how long you've known her, how comfortable she is around you etc.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Oh, boy. "Hints."

 

[Messofanego]

Why would she drop hints when she only sees you as a study buddy? C'mon. That's what you get for not being direct.

 

[Exokell]

Damn Gaf someone help me make sense of this.

So the semester is almost over and so I went to this girl who has shown sign of interest in me and ask her if she wants to study with me for the final. She says yes and gives me her number. We text and eventually she gives me the address to her house so I can go over and study. Makes sense so I go there and when I arrive she introduces me to her bf. Being nice I still helped her study. But really I don't know what to make of it all

I'm sorry if I'm being an ass right now but ayy lmao.

 

[kai3345]

What do you guys think?

 

[M52B28]

What do you guys think?

Noooooopppppppeeeeeee.

 

[Armadilo]

I'm going to try to finally try dating again after a break after my failed attempts that I had hopes for something but turned out to nothing. Should be getting more days off and more time to do stuff. New me, if a girl doesn't want to give me a second after I give them a minute than I won't even bother and just move on.

I think to an extent I'm good enough for somebody out there. I have a job, not a good job but it's something. A car and I go to to the gym and I'm nice to people.

Hope that I can actually get my first ever girlfriend, I hope...

 

[Lulubop]

Try Tinder instead. I hear it's great.

 

[Messofanego]

Hi GAF, I'm posting here because I sadly don't have enough forum permissions to post my own thread!

I'm a 32 year old British Chinese girl and have been with my 35 year old Chinese boyfriend for 18 months, living together for 6 months. We got engaged two months ago (which was a surprise, although I suppose it was leading up to it) and now I have doubts, although I also had doubts before.

He is excellent on paper, we get on like best friends and I know that I am very fortunate. However, we differ on the Five Languages of Love theory. He is not affectionate and does not say anything romantic or "I love you" but he shows it through actions/chores, gifts and caring about me. It's a very old-fashioned way which I think is common in some older Asian generations. He does love me but shows it differently in this way.

I have discussed it with him four times over our relationship but it is not possible for him to change because that is just his personality, he's not being malicious. It is not a bad thing but it is not what I need out of a relationship, we are incompatible in this fundamental issue. Perhaps he would get along more with a girl who matches his style, although I would argue that the relationship sounds rather cold and detached. Might as well just be roommates!

There is so much expectation to get married ASAP in my culture and my parents are more relieved than genuinely happy for me that I am engaged. They have put the deposit on the wedding venue but that is a negligible price to pay, I think they would be more hurt about losing face as we have already sent invites for April 2017.

I have told them truthfully about all of this, but they say I'm getting old and he's good to me and is a kind responsible guy with a good job, so really he's good enough and I shouldn't keep thinking the grass is greener. They say no couple feels like they're in love all the time after the initial dating, this is just the reality of living together long-term.

I don't know if I should get married and have a comfortable and stable but perhaps unfulfilled life, or break up and hope for someone I feel completely happy with and excited to marry, or is that unrealistic and I am being too fussy?

TLDR; I am not sure if I should marry my fiance. We are comfortable but I do not feel truly in love, but perhaps that is unrealistic in a long-term grown-up relationship?

Don't stay with him or go into marriage based on family pressures, believe me, that always goes down the wrong path towards eventually annulment, legal separation, or divorce. Presumably you're going to spend the rest of your life with this guy, you should know beforehand that if it's cold/detached now, if he's not looking to improve then it won't go to a loving marriage out of nowhere. He doesn't sound like a best friend from what you're describing. Him not changing isn't a part of his personality, unless if someone being stubborn is your thing. Your family is using your age against you, which is a dick move and it gets thrown a lot at women in their 30s, but it doesn't look like you want to settle with a merely serviceable but unfulfilled life because you're worth more than that no matter the age. You shouldn't care about them losing face if the marriage is called off, that's their fault for fast forwarding. Loads of people get engaged and call it off when it doesn't work out because that's normal, they don't just go with it because of outside forces.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

You guys think it would be weird to ask her out via the company IM system? We've talked a few times before and we briefly touch base on a small weekly project via email every Wednesday. She does graphic design for the company and is also helping me out with a few pieces of art for a personal project of mine, so it's not like an IM from me would be completely out of the blue.
My message would be probably something like

"Hey! This is super not related to work or [personal project], but would you want to ever grab drinks together sometime?"

What do you guys think?

Nope. Man up and ask her face to face somehow. Also if you use company IM theres a record of it should she decide its harrasment and go to HR.

 

[chicko1983]

What do you guys think?

Nope, you have to ask her face to face or over the phone. Also, don't even ask her over text message.

 

[ZackieChan]

I'm going to try to finally try dating again after a break after my failed attempts that I had hopes for something but turned out to nothing. Should be getting more days off and more time to do stuff. New me, if a girl doesn't want to give me a second after I give them a minute than I won't even bother and just move on.

I think to an extent I'm good enough for somebody out there. I have a job, not a good job but it's something. A car and I go to to the gym and I'm nice to people.

Hope that I can actually get my first ever girlfriend, I hope...

All that stuff makes you baseline not trash. It's the other stuff that makes you dateable - what makes you interesting? Do you have career prospects? Do you have experiences and are you good at conversation?

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Damn Gaf someone help me make sense of this.

So the semester is almost over and so I went to this girl who has shown sign of interest in me and ask her if she wants to study with me for the final. She says yes and gives me her number. We text and eventually she gives me the address to her house so I can go over and study. Makes sense so I go there and when I arrive she introduces me to her bf. Being nice I still helped her study. But really I don't know what to make of it all

Argh. Can you not? And by not I mean can you never use something like studying to try and make a move on someone? It's not a real thing. You want soneone ask them on a date. Make your intentions clear. If you can ask someone you barely know (you didn't know she had a bf so clearly you aint really friends) to study, why can't you just flip it more forward and ask them on a date?

You guys think it would be weird to ask her out via the company IM system?

Do any of yall actually care about your jobs? Serious question.

 

[Llyranor]

Damn Gaf someone help me make sense of this.

So the semester is almost over and so I went to this girl who has shown sign of interest in me and ask her if she wants to study with me for the final. She says yes and gives me her number. We text and eventually she gives me the address to her house so I can go over and study. Makes sense so I go there and when I arrive she introduces me to her bf. Being nice I still helped her study. But really I don't know what to make of it all

Did you seriously write the bolded? You helped her study even when you found out she has a bf, after asking to study. This does not make you nice. Honestly, it's giving off 'nice guy' vibes.

 

[Scotch]

Did you seriously write the bolded? You helped her study even when you found out she has a bf, after asking to study. This does not make you nice. Honestly, it's giving off 'nice guy' vibes.

Haha yeah, that's quite something isn't it. He comes over just to get in her pants, and walks away thinking he's the nice one.

Helping her study didn't make you nice, you merely avoided being an asshole.

 

[Adam_Roman]

I really need to vent about something.

I've been talking to this girl for 3 weeks. We went on our first date after talking for like two days and it went better than I imagined. Every few days since then I've been saying stuff like "Hey, maybe we can hang out the next day or two" during our conversations, and she'd say yeah, if she can find time. When she couldn't I was very understanding. I feel like I've been more than flexible, offering to hang out while she's running errands so she doesn't have to set aside time for me and she said she liked the idea. Her reasons for not being able to hang out have been increasingly insincere, and she's starting to outright ignore messages from me. Then the past two nights she's posted screenshots on Snapchat of her conversations with people on Facebook messenger, which is what we use to talk, and she posts them hours after I've sent messages that weren't read.

Before anyone says "Calm down, you only went on one date, give her some space", we were talking nearly nonstop after that first date and then things slowed to a crawl, where I'd hear back from her maybe 3 times in a day, and they'd be incredibly short responses. And shortly after our first date she was telling me how she told her mom about the date and she was really eager to meet me, so she at least expected things to get serious at some point.

Jump to this morning, which is after the second night of seeing those screenshots on her Snapchat story, and I send her a message basically saying that it hurt to see her having full conversations with people when she wouldn't even read the stuff I sent, and I've even told her before that if she needs more space to tell me and I'll give it to her. A few hours later (minutes ago as of writing this) she sent a very angry reply. The part of her message that really got me was this:

I don't owe anyone anything and I refuse to be controlled or manipulated ever again by someone. I'm sorry if I'm not up to your standards but I am a person, with many obligations.

Apparently wanting to talk to someone who you thought you had something with is now "controlling and manipulating them". She then proceeded to block me on Facebook and Snapchat. I now know she's not worth my time after seeing how mean she got after I expressed concern over her ignoring me, but it sucks that I spent 2 and a half weeks trying to get something more to happen before it finally blew up.

 

[gwailo]

She didn't really have any interest in a second date. After she gave the "maybe if I can find time" excuse a couple of times, you should have taken the hint and moved on instead of stalking her social media waiting for a response.

 

[M52B28]

Did you seriously write the bolded? You helped her study even when you found out she has a bf, after asking to study. This does not make you nice. Honestly, it's giving off 'nice guy' vibes.

I really can't believe I didn't read that part.

 

[Adam_Roman]

She didn't really have any interest in a second date. After she gave the "maybe if I can find time" excuse a couple of times, you should have taken the hint and moved on instead of stalking her social media waiting for a response.

I'm not gonna go into detail about conversations and stuff, but I can guarantee that at least until the past few days, she did have interest in a second date. And it's not "stalking her social media" if we're friends on Snapchat and the following morning when I look in my friends' Snapchat stories, I see she posted a photo of a conversation she was carrying out hours after I sent a message.

 

[M52B28]

That story hurt to read. I suggest you avoid adding on social media when it comes to dates you're interested in.

I made that mistake, although, I only add on Facebook to use the messenger app.

 

[Llyranor]

I'm not gonna go into detail about conversations and stuff, but I can guarantee that at least until the past few days, she did have interest in a second date. And it's not "stalking her social media" if we're friends on Snapchat and the following morning when I look in my friends' Snapchat stories, I see she posted a photo of a conversation she was carrying out hours after I sent a message.

Texting a lot by itself is worthless. Showing 'interest' with words only is worthless. Interest in going on a second date is shown by setting up the second date. If she is truly is too busy that particular week but wants the date, she will give you alternatives. 'Sure I want to go on a second date, if ever I had the time hahahaha. Why don't you give me attention through texting in the meanwhile? I will selectively decide whether or not I will read your messages' is not showing interest. I understand your frustration and why you would have sent that last message, but the correct mindset would have been to do other things/meet other people (and let her reach out to you if she really want to date, rather than hover restlessly around waiting for her to possibly allow you the privilege of hoping of getting another date with her). 'Why won't you go out on a date with me?/why are you not reading my messages?' is not a pretty look and never gets the result you want out of it. This is a lesson in interpreting when someone is really interested, and not to take things at face value

 

[names2hard4you]

No such thing as "being too busy" that long term, specially if the interest is there, I'm sorry. The girl I'm dating now works until late and we only get to see each other past 10-11PM. We only see each other once a week, but we make sure to make it work. Heck this week we are going to the last showing of the new Harry Potter movie, but you better believe we still got our tickets to the premiere.

 

[Adam_Roman]

Texting a lot by itself is worthless. Showing 'interest' with words only is worthless. Interest in going on a second date is shown by setting up the second date. If she is truly is too busy that particular week but wants the date, she will give you alternatives. 'Sure I want to go on a second date, if ever I had the time hahahaha. Why don't you give me attention through texting in the meanwhile? I will selectively decide whether or not I will read your messages' is not showing interest. I understand your frustration and why you would have sent that last message, but the correct mindset would have been to do other things/meet other people (and let her reach out to you if she really want to date, rather than hover restlessly around waiting for her to possibly allow you the privilege of hoping of getting another date with her). 'Why won't you go out on a date with me?/why are you not reading my messages?' is not a pretty look and never gets the result you want out of it. This is a lesson in interpreting when someone is really interested, and not to take things at face value

Everyone loves to boil everything down on here to "Well clearly you're socially awkward and can't read signals". It wasn't just texting. Like I said, there are things that I'd rather not go into detail about, but it was clear that there was interest and, at least the first week and a half or so, it was because of her busy schedule that we didn't go on another date. She was working 12+ hour shifts and had classes and school clubs run late at her college that was an hour commute, and she was very apologetic about having to bail on plans we had. She only started to ignore messages the past few days, and all of you are acting like she was avoiding the situation like the plague for the entire time.

I never said anything nearly as desperate as "Why won't you go out on a date with me?/why are you not reading my messages?". I explained to her how I felt about her actively ignoring me after things were going as well as they could for the first couple weeks and asked if she still had any interest in going forward, and she went off on me.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Jump to this morning, which is after the second night of seeing those screenshots on her Snapchat story, and I send her a message basically saying that it hurt to see her having full conversations with people when she wouldn't even read the stuff I sent

I wouldn't even send that type of message to my best friends of 15 years. You sent that to someone you went on one date with?

No wonder she was pissed. That is 0 to 100 man. I dunno what you talked about but the deepness of any conversation does not supercede that you have met once.

 

[stn]

Hi GAF, I'm posting here because I sadly don't have enough forum permissions to post my own thread!

I'm a 32 year old British Chinese girl and have been with my 35 year old Chinese boyfriend for 18 months, living together for 6 months. We got engaged two months ago (which was a surprise, although I suppose it was leading up to it) and now I have doubts, although I also had doubts before.

Seems like you pressured yourself into getting engaged with him.

He is excellent on paper, we get on like best friends and I know that I am very fortunate. However, we differ on the Five Languages of Love theory. He is not affectionate and does not say anything romantic or "I love you" but he shows it through actions/chores, gifts and caring about me. It's a very old-fashioned way which I think is common in some older Asian generations. He does love me but shows it differently in this way.

Believe me when I say its much better to have someone show affection through actions than through words. If this truly is a deal-breaker to you, I think you're being unrealistic. If he showed love through words and not through actions, you might instead be posting now about how his words are meaningless or boring because he doesn't take action.

I have discussed it with him four times over our relationship but it is not possible for him to change because that is just his personality, he's not being malicious. It is not a bad thing but it is not what I need out of a relationship, we are incompatible in this fundamental issue. Perhaps he would get along more with a girl who matches his style, although I would argue that the relationship sounds rather cold and detached. Might as well just be roommates!

Are you attracted to him? Do you have a healthy sexual relationship?

There is so much expectation to get married ASAP in my culture and my parents are more relieved than genuinely happy for me that I am engaged. They have put the deposit on the wedding venue but that is a negligible price to pay, I think they would be more hurt about losing face as we have already sent invites for April 2017.

Let's be realistic: you want out. And you never wanted in. You caved because of family pressure. Not good. Get out immediately and don't let the wound cut deeper.

I have told them truthfully about all of this, but they say I'm getting old and he's good to me and is a kind responsible guy with a good job, so really he's good enough and I shouldn't keep thinking the grass is greener. They say no couple feels like they're in love all the time after the initial dating, this is just the reality of living together long-term.

While its true that no couple feels in love all the time, I think its too soon for you to be feeling that. Its time to move on despite what your parents may think. They are more concerned for your security than your affection towards your husband.

I don't know if I should get married and have a comfortable and stable but perhaps unfulfilled life, or break up and hope for someone I feel completely happy with and excited to marry, or is that unrealistic and I am being too fussy?

Break up and find someone you want. You don't want to marry someone out of the fear of not being able to find someone else. Because the reality is you would immediately drop this relationship if you knew someone you truly wanted was available.

If this is how you feel before the marriage has even begun, imagine how you'll feel later. Good luck!

Everyone loves to boil everything down on here to "Well clearly you're socially awkward and can't read signals".

Apply the Brad Pitt rule. Would she be too busy if you were Brad Pitt. No? Move on. You made some mistakes with this one, take your licks and move forward.

 

[Clay Davis]

Hi there dating gaf, hope everyone is doing well considering the past few days.

I had another question. I've been getting a few matches through the app coffee meets bagel and I've met two people over the course of the past week with both dates going well. One called me an hour after the date to say she had a really good time and she'd like to see me again and the other said the same during the date but has since gone quiet. I'm not concerned about that really but what I wanted to know was should I message her again or leave it up to her to make the first move?

My instincts are telling me to do that and focus on the ones who are replying and talking to me, but part of me wants also some finality too because she said she had a good time and talked about meeting again but hasn't message me all week. Like I said it's not something that's playing on my mind constantly but is seeking finality a problem? I feel it might be, especially after one date?

What does everyone think?

 

[Llyranor]

Everyone loves to boil everything down on here to "Well clearly you're socially awkward and can't read signals". It wasn't just texting. Like I said, there are things that I'd rather not go into detail about, but it was clear that there was interest and, at least the first week and a half or so, it was because of her busy schedule that we didn't go on another date. She was working 12+ hour shifts and had classes and school clubs run late at her college that was an hour commute, and she was very apologetic about having to bail on plans we had. She only started to ignore messages the past few days, and all of you are acting like she was avoiding the situation like the plague for the entire time.

I never said anything nearly as desperate as "Why won't you go out on a date with me?/why are you not reading my messages?". I explained to her how I felt about her actively ignoring me after things were going as well as they could for the first couple weeks and asked if she still had any interest in going forward, and she went off on me.

You're again taking her busy excuses for not being able to set up a date at face value. It's been 3 weeks. She liked the attention you were giving her and now she lost interest. It doesn't matter that she started to give more 'insincere' excuses only recently or that she only started responding less recently, you still went nowhere in the previous 2 weeks after the first date, regardless of texting frequency. All I'm seeing is words words words on her part, not interest.

And come on, all I have to go on is what you wrote:

I send her a message basically saying that it hurt to see her having full conversations with people when she wouldn't even read the stuff I sent, and I've even told her before that if she needs more space to tell me and I'll give it to her.

That sounds desperate/clingy. Not saying you had chances before, but you burned them right there. You are asking someone you've been on one date with if she needs space.

 

[APZonerunner]

Hi there dating gaf, hope everyone is doing well considering the past few days.

I had another question. I've been getting a few matches through the app coffee meets bagel and I've met at least two people over the course of the past week with both dates going well. One called me an hour after the date to say she had a really good time and she'd like to see me again and the other said the same during the date but has since gone quiet. I'm not concerned about that really but what I wanted to know was should I message her again or leave it up to her to make the first move?

My instincts are telling me to do that and focus on the ones who are replying and talking to me, but part of me wants also some finality too because she said she had a good time and talked about meeting again but didn't message me all week.

What does everyone think?

I think the rule on this should just be to drop a poking text -- hey, how's it going? fancy doing something again? -- basically, one more chance to try to get a response, if you're keen. If there's no response, assume it's dead and while she had a nice time she's either had her head turned by someone else or just isn't as into it as you were and as polite 'I had a great time'-ing might've suggested.

If you've got another great lead and you like her and she is responsive and engaged with you, you want to focus on that, 100%.

 

[dreamcastmaster]

Everyone loves to boil everything down on here to "Well clearly you're socially awkward and can't read signals". It wasn't just texting. Like I said, there are things that I'd rather not go into detail about, but it was clear that there was interest and, at least the first week and a half or so, it was because of her busy schedule that we didn't go on another date. She was working 12+ hour shifts and had classes and school clubs run late at her college that was an hour commute, and she was very apologetic about having to bail on plans we had. She only started to ignore messages the past few days, and all of you are acting like she was avoiding the situation like the plague for the entire time.

I never said anything nearly as desperate as "Why won't you go out on a date with me?/why are you not reading my messages?". I explained to her how I felt about her actively ignoring me after things were going as well as they could for the first couple weeks and asked if she still had any interest in going forward, and she went off on me.

She found more interesting dick, by the sound of it.

 

[Clay Davis]

I think the rule on this should just be to drop a poking text -- hey, how's it going? fancy doing something again? -- basically, one more chance to try to get a response, if you're keen. If there's no response, assume it's dead and while she had a nice time she's either had her head turned by someone else or just isn't as into it as you were and as polite 'I had a great time'-ing might've suggested.

If you've got another great lead and you like her and she is responsive and engaged with you, you want to focus on that, 100%.

Thank you. I will leave it for the time being. I am seeing the other girl I met tonight so I will focus on that 100% and see where it goes.

I think you might be right in saying she was being polite. It can hard to figure out out sometimes, either she wanted to keep things with me open while she met others and found someone she liked more or she's busy and forgot. The latter seems unrealistic to me though, but that's dating I suppose.

 

[Adam_Roman]

Apply the Brad Pitt rule. Would she be too busy if you were Brad Pitt. No? Move on. You made some mistakes with this one, take your licks and move forward.

...Except she would have been too busy? She was literally leaving home at 7 and getting home at midnight every day for a week and a half. The one day she had time off, she spent that time with her grandmother. She missed a concert she already had tickets for because she was called in to work an extra shift one day. There's a million different things I could bring up but I assumed I should keep the post short and not include every tiny detail. Like I said, everyone loves to make every story on here into some tale of insane social ineptitude. Never mind that I've already moved on and started talking to other people on Tinder, people will still assume that me defending myself on here after venting my frustration at the situation is me pining over her. As I said in my first post, I've already moved forward and realized she's not worth my time.

 

[Llyranor]

You asked someone you've seen once whether she needed space...

 

[M52B28]

Apply the Brad Pitt rule. Would she be too busy if you were Brad Pitt. No? Move on. You made some mistakes with this one, take your licks and move forward.

Oh god. I couldn't live anymore if I were to do that.

 

[Astral]

I am baseline not trash.

 

[stn]

Like I said, everyone loves to make every story on here into some tale of insane social ineptitude.

Look, you just know things won't work out when you find yourself writing a whole paragraph highlighting all the different reasons a person was too busy during the week to have a date. You can give me a million more reasons that she may have been busy and I'll still say "apply the Brad Pitt rule."

I personally don't think you're insane or full of social ineptitude, as you describe it, but what I'm trying to emphasize is that people who are too busy for you are not into you. The fact that you had to call her out for ignoring your messages just shows nothing was going to materialize. Had she truly been interested it never would have even gotten to that point.

Someone who is into you will find a way to make sure you know it. Simple as that.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Like I said, everyone loves to make every story on here into some tale of insane social ineptitude.

So you feel making an appeal to emotions with someone you met once was in no way shape or form a bad idea?

I believe she was busy. But I also think she just lost interest. And finally I believe you don't make appeals to emotion for people you just havent known a long time.

 

[M52B28]

I've already moved forward and realized she's not worth my time.

Well, use this as a learning experience.

She didn't owe you anything, not even anything such as an apology. If someone doesn't have time to do things with you, either respect that without getting mad, or just move on to do other things.

It makes no sense for you to fester up to the point where you have to send a message about your feelings being hurt, especially if you've only seen her once.

If I were you, I would have just let it go, and kept her in my contacts for later if she decided to contact me. Until the point where she decides to contact me, I would have forgot about her.

 

[Adam_Roman]

The fact that you had to call her out for ignoring your messages just shows nothing was going to materialize. Had she truly been interested it never would have even gotten to that point.

Calling her out was less of me trying to make things work and more of me trying to let her know it wasn't gonna work, and why it wasn't. I feel like that's where a lot of these mixed signals are coming from in here. If I was trying to make it work, I wouldn't have been able to move on so instantly. I realize now that I should've made that clearer in the original post.

 

[stn]

Calling her out was less of me trying to make things work and more of me trying to let her know it wasn't gonna work, and why it wasn't. I feel like that's where a lot of these mixed signals are coming from in here. If I was trying to make it work, I wouldn't have been able to move on so instantly. I realize now that I should've made that clearer in the original post.

Calling her out was your frustration because you wanted it to work but she wasn't reciprocating. You can't tell someone "Its not going to work"after that person has already made up her mind. And you haven't moved on fully. We're her talking about her after the fact. She's on your mind to some degree. Want to truly move on? Cease discussing her and focus your energy elsewhere.

I hope I don't come off as rude or aggressive, I'm just trying to tell you what you may not want to hear.

 

[Holyoneturtle]

Good Afternoon GAF,

An update on my dating life. I have been dating 2 girls last week who were both excellent but i liked one more than the other.

Girl #1
If you'll remember the first girl (I slept with her on the first date), she just cut me off. I didnt go out with her this past week because she had been sick as of sunday of last week. Well it must have been bad because saturday morning she texted that there was a personal matter that she is now coming to terms with. she said she couldnt keep seeing me and she didnt want to lead me on. I was a little surprised but i didnt push to ask for more information. I just said take care and thanks for letting me know (I said that because i have told her about ghosting and she said she would never do that to me). She responded with "doctors suck", and i left it at that. I am still a little sad about it because we had a lot in common and it was pretty much everything i looked for in a girl. Should i have asked for more information or did I do the right thing?

Girl #2
So even though we had less things in common our conversations were more amazing, this is something that i did not expect. I guess because we have less in common we have more to talk about and that in turn shows a little more of each other. Well our first date we ended the night with a kiss and a plan to meet next sunday. Then she cancelled and we planned for thursday. Then she cancelled again and said that for sure monday/today. I have been getting less texts as of last week. On saturday she texted more said that her phone has been acting up and why she has texted less plus she has been busy. I guess at this point I should say that she has 3 kids. So I understand if she's busy, but I think I'll cut it off for sure if she cancels again.
Any thoughts?

One last thing, I found an old high school classmate on facebook. I always wanted to go out with her in high school but i was too shy back then. So i sent her a friend request and she accepted. I was thinking about maybe talking to her later and eventually ask her out. But to my surprise she messaged me first. So we talked a little on Friday and I found out that she is still single. I told her that I wanted to ask her out back then but I was too shy. She responded with that I was not the only guy that has said this. At this point I was reminded of how beautiful she is and how could i think i was the only guy. I haven't messaged her since Friday. Do you guys think I have a chance here or are there too many roosters in the hen house?

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

An update on my dating life. I have been dating 2 girls last week who were both excellent but i liked one more than the other.

Girl #1 said she wasn't going to keep seeing you, so I'd say that's over.

Breaking away from Girl #2 if she cancels another date is a good plan.

Definitely ask out the girl from high school. She sounds interested.

 

[ZackieChan]

Calling her out was less of me trying to make things work and more of me trying to let her know it wasn't gonna work, and why it wasn't. I feel like that's where a lot of these mixed signals are coming from in here. If I was trying to make it work, I wouldn't have been able to move on so instantly. I realize now that I should've made that clearer in the original post.

Dude, come on.

Don't text so damn much. Leave a little mystery and illusion that you have other things going on in your life, at least until you've met a few times. Or actually have other things going on that prevent you from ridiculous amounts of texting.

Be cool, and she'll think you're cool. Be clingy, and she will run.

 

[Messofanego]

One last thing, I found an old high school classmate on facebook. I always wanted to go out with her in high school but i was too shy back then. So i sent her a friend request and she accepted. I was thinking about maybe talking to her later and eventually ask her out. But to my surprise she messaged me first. So we talked a little on Friday and I found out that she is still single. I told her that I wanted to ask her out back then but I was too shy. She responded with that I was not the only guy that has said this. At this point I was reminded of how beautiful she is and how could i think i was the only guy. I haven't messaged her since Friday. Do you guys think I have a chance here or are there too many roosters in the hen house?

What else did she say? Is she interested in you? Or just bragging about how many guys liked her? Just do what the title of this thread says, and then do a follow up.