ZackieChan
Member
The pimp move is to say "well, let's make that right. Meet me for drinks Friday night?"
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
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The pimp move is to say "well, let's make that right. Meet me for drinks Friday night?"
Holyoneturtle
Member
I should also reveal there was a line that she wrote that she has been single for a long time because she needed to be. That line is kind of influencing my decision on whether I should pursue this. If I do pursue this how should I say it? Do I say "Hey you want to go out for dinner"? I originally wanted to ask if she wanted to grab lunch and catch up, but I dont want it to sound casual.
ZackieChan
Member
Be assertive and specific.
"Meet me for drinks at (place) Friday at (time)"
"Meet me for drinks at (place) Friday at (time)"
So, I've known this girl for a long time, like we're in the same friend group but never really spoke. Started talking to her a few weeks ago on messenger when I was drunk one night and the conversation turned kinky, she started sending me nudes and stuff a few days after. Asked her if she wanted to come over one night and she said ok. Night come when we had planned and I sent her a message asking if she was still coming or not and she didn't even open it, haven't heard from her since either. Strange one, should I just ignore it now?
Holyoneturtle
Member
I can be assertive. Ill try it and let you guys know how it goes.
Holyoneturtle
Member
Girl #2 just responded and she got a new phone with a new number. So it looks like I have a date tonight. ^_^
Just from reading what you've been posting, if feels like you were/are very overbearing. I can see exactly where she's coming from. And calling her out on her own personal social media life is a massive no-no. How could she not unfriend you after that??
Don't text too much, leave bigger conversations to in-person dates. After any date you should leave at least one day of silence - let her text if she's interested, or test the waters with a text the following day. If she starts to offer excuses or cancels on a date, it's time to cut loose
Lone_Prodigy
Member
Marion Cotillard applied the Brad Pitt rule.
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
Looking for some advice and I'm kind of scared to ask because of how I might come off but here goes: I'm a 27 year old guy in a relationship with a 24 year old girl. We've been dating for about two years now and things are generally great but there's an issue that comes up every now and again:the difference between our sexual experience. I'm a late bloomer when it comes to dating, hookups, casual flings etc. I've been in 3 relationships before my current one and only one of them involved sex. The first relationship lasted 6 months and the other two didn't make it to 5 months. I honestly don't know how they managed to last that long since physical intimacy is something that I think is important but I was awkward back then and didn't know how to voice that, I did not want to pressure anyone into anything. I've felt inadequate and like I missed out, knowing that my partner has been with more people and had more(and I imagine better sexual experiences than I have).
I feel like the movies and tv shows make it seem like something that is normal, going out partying and sleeping with randoms or having no strings attached type sexual relationships. It seems like something one is supposed to do, get out of their system and then pursue a serious relationship. I've had this conversation before with her and she's offered to give me a pass to try and go out and try this(flat out denied it. Because it really felt like more of a test than a serious proposal) . She's said I'm not too old to participate in that lifestyle, stated she doesn't want to hold me back and asked me if what I want is an open relationship or if I want to not date her and instead find someone with less experience like myself. I really do like her, but I don't know what to do in this situation. I've been out of town and will be out of town for a few weeks and I won't lie, I know I'll get a lot of hate for this, but I've considered trying it.
I've considered going out to a bar or using some dating apps or something to try it out and sort of "even the playing field" in terms of experience. I also find myself asking "will my life be any better for having experienced that though?"do I want to risk a good relationship because I want to feel like I lived without regrets? is the hookup culture and the dating scene just overrated or am I genuinely missing out on an important life experience? I want to know if someone has been in my boat before and what they did or wish they had done, or to get some advice from people who have been in that lifestyle
I feel like the movies and tv shows make it seem like something that is normal, going out partying and sleeping with randoms or having no strings attached type sexual relationships. It seems like something one is supposed to do, get out of their system and then pursue a serious relationship. I've had this conversation before with her and she's offered to give me a pass to try and go out and try this(flat out denied it. Because it really felt like more of a test than a serious proposal) . She's said I'm not too old to participate in that lifestyle, stated she doesn't want to hold me back and asked me if what I want is an open relationship or if I want to not date her and instead find someone with less experience like myself. I really do like her, but I don't know what to do in this situation. I've been out of town and will be out of town for a few weeks and I won't lie, I know I'll get a lot of hate for this, but I've considered trying it.
I've considered going out to a bar or using some dating apps or something to try it out and sort of "even the playing field" in terms of experience. I also find myself asking "will my life be any better for having experienced that though?"do I want to risk a good relationship because I want to feel like I lived without regrets? is the hookup culture and the dating scene just overrated or am I genuinely missing out on an important life experience? I want to know if someone has been in my boat before and what they did or wish they had done, or to get some advice from people who have been in that lifestyle
Hey Dating GAF
Recently I have posted my situation about a girl I liked and how i found it hard to talk to her face-to-face. I can happily say that I have resolved this issue today and got to know her more
.
However sometimes when I go pass her during breaks I get a sense of anger when certain people jokes and touches her without consent. I feel like i need stop them because each time they do it she looks pissed off. Should I feel this way.
Recently I have posted my situation about a girl I liked and how i found it hard to talk to her face-to-face. I can happily say that I have resolved this issue today and got to know her more
.However sometimes when I go pass her during breaks I get a sense of anger when certain people jokes and touches her without consent. I feel like i need stop them because each time they do it she looks pissed off. Should I feel this way
.What do you mean by "touches her improperly"?
The way she phrased that sounds like she's giving you a pass on paper but if you actually do anything with someone else, she would break things off. I really wouldn't worry about your situation too much. You're actually pretty far ahead of a lot of people in this thread in that you've had sex, multiple relationships, and are in a long term one now. Maybe try livening things up in the bedroom, try some roleplaying or different acts/positions, doing it in different places, etc. You might be feeling kind of stagnant so you're looking for that proverbial greener grass.
The way she phrased that sounds like she's giving you a pass on paper but if you actually do anything with someone else, she would break things off. I really wouldn't worry about your situation too much. You're actually pretty far ahead of a lot of people in this thread in that you've had sex, multiple relationships, and are in a long term one now. Maybe try livening things up in the bedroom, try some roleplaying or different acts/positions, doing it in different places, etc. You might be feeling kind of stagnant so you're looking for that proverbial greener grass.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Hey Dating GAF
Recently I have posted my situation about a girl I liked and how i found it hard to talk to her face-to-face. I can happily say that I have resolved this issue today and got to know her more
However sometimes when I go pass her during breaks I get a sense of anger when certain people jokes and touches her improperly. I feel like i need stop them because each time they do it she looks pissed off. Should I feel this way
Do nohing. Companies have HR for a reason. They should deal with that not you.
Im a college student :3.
...what exactly do you feel like you're missing out on?
Hey Dating GAF
Recently I have posted my situation about a girl I liked and how i found it hard to talk to her face-to-face. I can happily say that I have resolved this issue today and got to know her more
However sometimes when I go pass her during breaks I get a sense of anger when certain people jokes and touches her improperly. I feel like i need stop them because each time they do it she looks pissed off. Should I feel this way
There's a lot of holes in this post. Are these guys her friends, are the guys full-out molesting her, has she asked you to stop them, have you asked her about it? Are these actually girls touching her improperly?
ZackieChan
Member
Has she said anything about this to you? Has she said ANYTHING to you?
Sounds like you're white knighting a bit, but I don't know the whole story.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Ah. Still do nothing. You quite literally should not speak for her unless she actually needs help. And she needs to explicitly ask for help from you before you do anything.
You're not a saviour. Do not act like one.
Nothing like that however one of the guys I know have done some shady stuff in the past. But she always ask them to get off her but they wont for like 5-10 mins. I should have said touching her with no consent sorry
.Nah but im worried for her due to one of the person past. I Havent mention it to her because i dont want to fell like white knighting.
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
Yeah I'm fairly certain she's not actually trying to give me a pass. She's said that she thinks that if it will help me move on, then maybe we can try and hopefully I won't end up falling in love with someone else or whatever. I don't think she's actually prepared for if I actually said yes to that. I think maybe she thinks she's prepared but when it actually happens it would crush her.
I feel like I'm missing out on the experience of having sex with multiple people, going out to parties or using a dating app and meeting then sleeping with women. A friend of mine who has lived this kind of lifestyle told me that in his opinion I've missed out, and it seems like the message that is always shown in media is reinforced by many people I know which is that one should have the experience of going to bars or house parties and having one night stands or meeting a friend that you occasionally have sex with. For me it's about sexual experience, and I feel like mine is lacking and thus makes me feel inadequate and not normal.
Nothing like that however one of the guys I know have done some shady stuff in the past. But she always ask them to get off her but they wont for like 5-10 mins. I should have said touching her with no consent sorry
Nah but im worried for her due to one of the person past. I Havent mention it to her because i dont want to fell like white knighting.
"because of his past"? You're being vague. Stop it. Is the guy a serial rapist who is grabbing her boobs, or does he just ride a motorcycle and graze her shoulder? In one of those situations, its okay to get angry, but the other should make you just uncomfortable. Talking to her would be better than taking action without talking to her.
Meeting people in bars or house parties or Tinder isn't all its cracked up to be. Mainly because you're spending most of your time just *attempting* to meet people. One night stands exist, but they aren't as common as the movies would lead you to believe.
How's the sex life with your girlfriend? You've been going out for 2 years...even at once a week, that's far more sex than you'd get with random hookups.
The most important thing - is she satisfied?
ZackieChan
Member
Look how much fun everyone's having in here!
Using all these apps and shit can be a huge pain in the ass, unless you're a pimp like Vern. It's probably not worth it if you're in a good place. Being with a bunch of people can be awesome, but if you weren't exactly a stud before, don't expect things to change now. And she definitely doesn't actually want you to go be with someone else.
I have only had sex with 1 man my entire life. Started dating when I was 15, engaged at 18, married at 21. You do not need to be with other people to gain experience. You can be with her and gain experience by trying new things together. Also, remember if you go to an "open relationship" expect her to be with other people as well. How would you feel about her having sex with someone else?
I have no desire to be with anyone but my husband. Our stable relationship and love is much more important than sleeping with random people.
I have heard he has done similar stuff like that before luckily he hasn't done it to her yet to my acknowledge. There was one case earlier this year where he asked multiple girls for nudes while he was dating someone one. This stuff gets me pissed off however I haven taken action and i probably will not
.It's a tough scenario to handle, and tbh there's probably not too much you can do to help other than the typical stuff (get her a legal weapon, listen to her concerns without trying to deflect it, etc). Honestly as someone with the same (relatively justified) paranoia I honestly don't know how my bf could make me feel better about it other than walk with me at night or whatever.
Is it not strange to assume you're going to study with someone when they say they wanna study with you? Is it weird to invite someone to your house to study as opposed to an uncomfortable library?
Nothing like that however one of the guys I know have done some shady stuff in the past. But she always ask them to get off her but they wont for like 5-10 mins. I should have said touching her with no consent sorry
Nah but im worried for her due to one of the person past. I Havent mention it to her because i dont want to fell like white knighting.
What the fuck, are they fucking mounting her? That's pretty fucked up if so
Here's a handy dandy guide I made up on the fly:
Is she in serious trouble of getting raped? Talk to her about going to police.
Has she expressed to you that she does not like the touching? Tell her to tell them; if she has and it continues, oh look, police.
Is this just something completely perceived on your end? Leave it be unless she brings it up to you.
If your wording is literal and they're actually mounting her? Yeah you might wanna talk to her about that.
Hi DatingGAF... first time/long time... Wall of text incoming.
So, I started seeing a girl about three weeks ago. She's smart, funny, drop-dead gorgeous, and very independent. We talk constantly, and have seen each other maybe three times a week. We've got more in common then i have ever had with anyone before. We've been taking it slow- no sex, no labels. But at the same time, I feel like we're getting pretty attached to each other; she broke it off with the other guy she was seeing after the first time we met, and I broke it off with the girl I had been seeing as well. When we hang out, it's usually us, sitting around, splitting a bottle of wine and listening to music and talking until the wee hours of the morning (5 or 6 am). She drove a half hour on election night to watch the results come in with me. We watched the Indians lose the World Series together. And that was great. So, yeah, needless to say, things have been going really, really well. With the exception of my feeling that she's out of my league (and honestly, the minute my friends meet her, they will tell me that in the most encouraging way possible), I've been doing really well (I have various self-esteem issues and after a bad breakup last year, I've been kinda skittish at the thought of a new relationship, but they haven't really been an issue somehow). I've never felt like someone was perfect for me until now.
Until last night.
The plans was that she was going to come over, and we'd have Mexican food and margaritas, and just hang out. She shows up, we get food, I come back and pour the drinks. For some reason, I pour an extra shot of tequila into mine each time, and off we go. Like usual, I can do no wrong. She thinks I'm hilarious. I show her Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. She looooves it. We watch Chappelle on SNL. She's howling. We're talking, and kissing, and whatever, and she takes me by the hand and leads me to my bedroom. Now, like I said, we haven't had sex. The last time I saw her, we got INSANELY close. But we both decided that wasn't the right time. So we get to my bed and lay down. I remember her talking about how comfortable my bed was, and how much she loved my satin sheets. And then I've got nothing. I blacked out. I remember bits and pieces- I know she wasn't wearing pants at some point. I know that I had my hands all over her. But I've got nothing otherwise. I vaguely remember us talking in bed, and her saying "Stop telling me to 'shut up'", but not in an angry way. Next memory I have is her leaving, and I text a few close friends telling them that I screwed the proverbial pooch.
I wake up this morning and immediately go into damage control mode. I know I fucked up. I don't know how, but I know I did. The strands of memory I have are enough to prove that. So I text her: "Your honor, my client respectfully requests a re-do." She's, needless to say, upset, and I can only guess that she has every reason to be. Now, for me to be in the state I was in last night, I can honestly say was a fluke. With the exception of us splitting a bottle of wine when we're together, I can't think of the last time I had more than maybe two beers in a day. I can count on one hand how many times in 15 years I've been that drunk on one hand and still be able to tell you 're OK afterward. But she has a history with people abusing alcohol. And I freaked her out. She tells me she wants a partner, not a project. She tells me that last night moved us back a few steps progress-wise. And I'm trying to defend myself somewhat by explaining that I'm never like that. That I never get that way. That I dated a girl for 8 years that acted like that. I never want to be like that again. But then it occurs to me... If she's dealt with alcoholics before, she's heard that all before. And no matter how earnest I am, she doesn't know it. I don't know what to do. So I just keep pointing out how I want to make it up to her. How I can prove that it was a fluke. That I really am better than that. She tells me that she will see me again. That the best way to apologize is to show her that that isn't me if it isn't. But then she hits me with "I won't get into a relationship unless it's with a healthy, responsible adult."
What do I do? I know I fucked up. I'm curious what happened while I was blacked out, but the last thing I want to do is unpack all of that with her. I feel helpless. I want to fix it, and I want to fix it now. Only problem with that is that one of her parents had surgery this morning, and she's staying there to help take care of her. I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't even know what I expect anyone to offer as far as insight or advice. Maybe someone can give me some new angle I haven't looked at it from. Any help would be great. I really like her. I'd really like to see where this all goes.
Thanks for reading.
So, I started seeing a girl about three weeks ago. She's smart, funny, drop-dead gorgeous, and very independent. We talk constantly, and have seen each other maybe three times a week. We've got more in common then i have ever had with anyone before. We've been taking it slow- no sex, no labels. But at the same time, I feel like we're getting pretty attached to each other; she broke it off with the other guy she was seeing after the first time we met, and I broke it off with the girl I had been seeing as well. When we hang out, it's usually us, sitting around, splitting a bottle of wine and listening to music and talking until the wee hours of the morning (5 or 6 am). She drove a half hour on election night to watch the results come in with me. We watched the Indians lose the World Series together. And that was great. So, yeah, needless to say, things have been going really, really well. With the exception of my feeling that she's out of my league (and honestly, the minute my friends meet her, they will tell me that in the most encouraging way possible), I've been doing really well (I have various self-esteem issues and after a bad breakup last year, I've been kinda skittish at the thought of a new relationship, but they haven't really been an issue somehow). I've never felt like someone was perfect for me until now.
Until last night.
The plans was that she was going to come over, and we'd have Mexican food and margaritas, and just hang out. She shows up, we get food, I come back and pour the drinks. For some reason, I pour an extra shot of tequila into mine each time, and off we go. Like usual, I can do no wrong. She thinks I'm hilarious. I show her Garth Marenghi's Darkplace. She looooves it. We watch Chappelle on SNL. She's howling. We're talking, and kissing, and whatever, and she takes me by the hand and leads me to my bedroom. Now, like I said, we haven't had sex. The last time I saw her, we got INSANELY close. But we both decided that wasn't the right time. So we get to my bed and lay down. I remember her talking about how comfortable my bed was, and how much she loved my satin sheets. And then I've got nothing. I blacked out. I remember bits and pieces- I know she wasn't wearing pants at some point. I know that I had my hands all over her. But I've got nothing otherwise. I vaguely remember us talking in bed, and her saying "Stop telling me to 'shut up'", but not in an angry way. Next memory I have is her leaving, and I text a few close friends telling them that I screwed the proverbial pooch.
I wake up this morning and immediately go into damage control mode. I know I fucked up. I don't know how, but I know I did. The strands of memory I have are enough to prove that. So I text her: "Your honor, my client respectfully requests a re-do." She's, needless to say, upset, and I can only guess that she has every reason to be. Now, for me to be in the state I was in last night, I can honestly say was a fluke. With the exception of us splitting a bottle of wine when we're together, I can't think of the last time I had more than maybe two beers in a day. I can count on one hand how many times in 15 years I've been that drunk on one hand and still be able to tell you 're OK afterward. But she has a history with people abusing alcohol. And I freaked her out. She tells me she wants a partner, not a project. She tells me that last night moved us back a few steps progress-wise. And I'm trying to defend myself somewhat by explaining that I'm never like that. That I never get that way. That I dated a girl for 8 years that acted like that. I never want to be like that again. But then it occurs to me... If she's dealt with alcoholics before, she's heard that all before. And no matter how earnest I am, she doesn't know it. I don't know what to do. So I just keep pointing out how I want to make it up to her. How I can prove that it was a fluke. That I really am better than that. She tells me that she will see me again. That the best way to apologize is to show her that that isn't me if it isn't. But then she hits me with "I won't get into a relationship unless it's with a healthy, responsible adult."
What do I do? I know I fucked up. I'm curious what happened while I was blacked out, but the last thing I want to do is unpack all of that with her. I feel helpless. I want to fix it, and I want to fix it now. Only problem with that is that one of her parents had surgery this morning, and she's staying there to help take care of her. I don't know what to do. Honestly, I don't even know what I expect anyone to offer as far as insight or advice. Maybe someone can give me some new angle I haven't looked at it from. Any help would be great. I really like her. I'd really like to see where this all goes.
Thanks for reading.
ZackieChan
Member
I have no idea what you did
I have heard he has done similar stuff like that before luckily he hasn't done it to her yet to my acknowledge. There was one case earlier this year where he asked multiple girls for nudes while he was dating someone one. This stuff gets me pissed off however I haven taken action and i probably will not
What business is it of yours if the guy is asking other girls for nudes when he's in a relationship?
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
The sex is pretty frequent and I think we have fun. We haven't been intimate in some time as I've been out of town for the past 3 weeks. I don't think it's so much the amount of sex with one person as it is the diversity. Like I said, she's been with many different partners vs my 1. She's told me she enjoys sex with me(without me even asking if she does) and she's often come onto me before I have a chance to come on to her.
I don't know if it was so much a lack of looks as it was just the fact that I was very busy with school and work, and I also lived in a repressive/judgemental household.
That's part of the reason why I wouldn't take her up on her "offer" of an open relationship, the thought of her with someone else makes me uncomfortable. She told me that she would be able to deal with me sleeping with someone else if she thought it would help me feel better but I think she feels the same way. The thought of me with someone else would bother her and she's had many partners in the past so essentially the whole hookup/party stage is out of her system. Her fear is that one day I'll just tell her that I can't deal with her past and feeling inadequate and just break things off out of the blue so I can go and pursue this supposedly meaningful life experience. And that's just the thing, is it a meaningful experience, will it actually make me feel better if I sleep around with different partners and have casual relationships like she and so many other people have done?
LucidMomentum
Member
To the guy wondering if he should sleep around more, eh.
If you're having fun having sex with your girlfriend, there's something to be said for how nice it is to have a steady physical and emotional relationship with someone.
If you told me I could have a new partner twice a week or a nice girlfriend where we fuck once a week, I'd take the girlfriend.
Trust me, a stable relationship is amazing. Especially with sex. Hookups can be fun, but they aren't the end all be all. You'll probably spend more time trying to set things up than actually having fun, which is why a relationship where you get to know someone is pretty awesome.
Don't feel like you have to live up to "standards" or "numbers" or whatever the media says is "normal".
Do you.
If you aren't happy with the physical aspects of your relationship though, talk about it to your partner. We can only do so much. You've got someone there who can help you discover things about yourself, and vice versa.
One of the biggest benefits of a relationship is you can do the freaky stuff a one-night stand might not be down for.
Stop worrying about experience, hookups, or either of your pasts. Start having fun.
If you're having fun having sex with your girlfriend, there's something to be said for how nice it is to have a steady physical and emotional relationship with someone.
If you told me I could have a new partner twice a week or a nice girlfriend where we fuck once a week, I'd take the girlfriend.
Trust me, a stable relationship is amazing. Especially with sex. Hookups can be fun, but they aren't the end all be all. You'll probably spend more time trying to set things up than actually having fun, which is why a relationship where you get to know someone is pretty awesome.
Don't feel like you have to live up to "standards" or "numbers" or whatever the media says is "normal".
Do you.
If you aren't happy with the physical aspects of your relationship though, talk about it to your partner. We can only do so much. You've got someone there who can help you discover things about yourself, and vice versa.
One of the biggest benefits of a relationship is you can do the freaky stuff a one-night stand might not be down for.
Stop worrying about experience, hookups, or either of your pasts. Start having fun.
Ninhead
You definitely need to chill out a bit. Sending a bunch of texts is only exasperating things. TBH you both maybe need to pump the brakes a bit. You've been going out for 3 weeks, the whole idea of a committed relationships, fights, aplogizing profusely and showing you can change shouldn't even really be in the picture.
You definitely need to chill out a bit. Sending a bunch of texts is only exasperating things. TBH you both maybe need to pump the brakes a bit. You've been going out for 3 weeks, the whole idea of a committed relationships, fights, aplogizing profusely and showing you can change shouldn't even really be in the picture.
Oh yeah also that. That's his business, not yours, and asking for nudes doesn't exactly make him a sexual predator. Maybe skeevy?
Why do you think it would be meaningful to have sex with random people more than having sex with the person you love and trust?
If you love her and she loves you and you are both happy, why does the numbers of partners in her past make you feel inadequate? Would you have to sleep with as many people as she has to feel adequate? more people than she has?
You have something meaningful, a steady girlfriend of several years who you say you are happy with and she is happy with you.
ZackieChan
Member
Sounds like classic "nice guy" behavior to me.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I have heard he has done similar stuff like that before luckily he hasn't done it to her yet to my acknowledge. There was one case earlier this year where he asked multiple girls for nudes while he was dating someone one. This stuff gets me pissed off however I haven taken action and i probably will not
Man can you knock it off with this save a girl shit? Mind your own fucking business man. Reading this is just annoying. This dude isn't your friend. This girl you talked to once isn't your gf and these perceived problems you think you need to address for her are not real. Stop this.
You haven't told us anything. All I have grasped is you met a girl, drank way too much with her and then acted like an asshole while you were drunk.
When stuff like this happens you simply apologize "one" time sincerely and state that you are fine with her setting the pace. Don't go desparation mode and shit. If you fucked it up there is literally nothing you can do or say in relation to apologies that will fix it so just chill.
And while you claim you have never been that drunk in like however many years, it really is not an excuse for your behaviour. She hasn't known you 8 years, it has been 3 weeks. Don't get so lost in yourself you forget how you are suppose to behave around people you just met.
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
Thanks man. I think that makes me feel better about how things are going.
That's the thing I'm struggling with. I don't know why I feel inadequate, it's like I feel like her and other people had a fun experience and I missed out. It's like a type of curiosity that I'm feeling, what would it be like to be with a black woman, an older woman? What about a woman with a certain body type? What would it be like to have a friend with benefits situation? What would it be like to get a girls consent at a bar and hook up? I'm getting the general vibe that whether or not I have these experiences in the long run it doesn't make a difference. It's a bit of a relief to feel like maybe I'm not someone who has missed out on an important milestone in life
It really doesn't. The number of partners simply does not matter. Sure, sex with a rando from the bar might be great, or it might be terrible. You wanna try something else? It's easy enough to do with your current partner. If there is a particular fetish she is not into, you can talk about maybe other methods of acting it out with another person. Sex is sex in the end, and there's not a special partner quota to reach to make it worthwhile in life.
Gotdatmoney
Member
As a black person (not a woman granted) I fucking rolled my eyes all the way to the back of my head. These are people, not fucking object experiences.
Just to answer the question, no none of this shit actually matters. If you are happy with your gf you are not missing anything special.
Kuroi Gogeta
Member
My apologies. Did not want to come off as reducing an individual to an experience
Megalosaro
Banned
Got mathe up with a pretty cool girl on a dating app. Weny pretty well until the topic of jobs came up. As soon as I mentioned I was in logistics, she stopped responding. Guess moving other people's stuff isn't too sexy.
I guess so. Shame, was really enjoying talking to her.
Bit weird though that she said she'd come over and then just totally ignores it. Ah well.
artsi
Member
When I told one girl where I live (it's a nice area), she said in a pretty hostile way that she will never ever move there and unmatched me.
It even read in my bio, lol.
This is always a good sign that the person in question isn't worth your time anyway. Though it's a bit harder for me - as someone who has a decent job in an industry that otherwise has a huge stigma where I live. I even had one girl offer to pay on a date because "I know you don't make much money" (even though I'm doing decently well :/)
Also on Tinder I keep matching with this one woman who unmatched me one time when she found out what my job was. And then she keeps matching with me and unmatching, probably after she realizes who I am, lol
ZackieChan
Member
Luckily, I benefit from positive stereotypes, even though they don't reflect reality (I ain't well off, but I'm an attorney).
My efforts to be just friends with this girl whom I dated for two months aren't going well. We broke up 'cause the sex did nothing for me, and I get the distinct impression she's waiting for those issues to be fixed, so we can date again.
There's lots of signs there. She invited me to go applepicking, an activity more befitting a couple...and at the apple farm, she mentioned how weird it felt to be there without a kid (later saying there's a lot of kids activities here and my nephew would've loved it). When I mentioned my desire to visit someplace warm, she suggested I go with her to visit her home state. There's a few more signs I noticed, but you get the point.
Sunday, I asked her straight up "Are you okay that we're still just friends? You aren't waiting for me or anything?" to which she replied "Yeah, I know we're friends. I'm not waiting, but if you ever feel ready again...". I double down with a "Listen, if someone asks you out, or if you're interested in someone else, go out with them". I don't know if I could be more blatant without telling her "we won't be dating again".
There's lots of signs there. She invited me to go applepicking, an activity more befitting a couple...and at the apple farm, she mentioned how weird it felt to be there without a kid (later saying there's a lot of kids activities here and my nephew would've loved it). When I mentioned my desire to visit someplace warm, she suggested I go with her to visit her home state. There's a few more signs I noticed, but you get the point.
Sunday, I asked her straight up "Are you okay that we're still just friends? You aren't waiting for me or anything?" to which she replied "Yeah, I know we're friends. I'm not waiting, but if you ever feel ready again...". I double down with a "Listen, if someone asks you out, or if you're interested in someone else, go out with them". I don't know if I could be more blatant without telling her "we won't be dating again".
LucidMomentum
Member
Why not be blunt with her then?
Seems like you still like hanging out with her but something about the sex was off so you aren't interested in dating?
If you couldn't / didn't choose to work that out, then you might as well be honest with her and make sure she isn't going to be too upset later on.
That's what I'm afraid I'll have to do.
Sex with her just wasn't enjoyable in a way that can't be fixed. I framed the break-up as a problem with myself, which is why she might be thinking I'll be ready someday.
I had thought I was clear enough when the breakup first happened, but then these signs. You'd think me saying "you should date other people" is direct enough, but apparently she's choosing to wait.
DM me. I'll critique the pics best I can.
Well, she has avoided relationships here, so I'm assuming that it really has a toll on her perspective.
I asked her out for drinks after what entailed Thursday, but I had to cancel. That was on the weekend. Being around her just feels lacking since then. I'll ask her if she's down for something this week, if not, I'm leaving it. I don't want to come off as pushy at all.
Doesn't help that I have some people within the studio openly commenting about her and I. It really wrecks the mood and makes me not even want to bother anymore.
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