ZackieChan
Member
I'd say "Looks cool. Let's go see it [day]!"
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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The only problem is I'm not sure if I'll be free this week just yet.
Normally I'd be more assertive.
ZackieChan
Member
peanutbutterlatte
Member
names2hard4you
Member
I almost spit my coffee. Now tell us his GAF username.
Haha, I'm not that bad.
I was always planning on asking her out to see it, even if I'm not a massive fan of cinema dates.
As long as drinks are involved before or after the film I'm sure it'll be fine.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Come to think of it, I've never been on a cinema date with someone I was going on a "first date" with since high school. I always try and avoid it for the reasons you state, but as long as you combine it with a meal or coffee like Zackie says it's fine.
I used to go on loads of cinema dates with my ex because the conversation had died and the only thing that could save our relationship momentarily was overpriced pick n' mix and Planet of the Apes reboots.
Actually, there's a theatre near me screening It's A Wonderful Life, one of my all-time favourites. I'd love to take a girl, but if she hated it I genuinely would have difficulty liking her...
I used to go on loads of cinema dates with my ex because the conversation had died and the only thing that could save our relationship momentarily was overpriced pick n' mix and Planet of the Apes reboots.
Actually, there's a theatre near me screening It's A Wonderful Life, one of my all-time favourites. I'd love to take a girl, but if she hated it I genuinely would have difficulty liking her...
names2hard4you
Member
Me and the girl I'm currently dating went to the Fantastic Beasts premiere and it was fine. We played at the arcade they have at the theater for like 45min before the movie started and spent some time together afterwards too. So yeah, I guess doing something before or after the movie would probably make the date a lot better than JUST watching the movie and then leaving.
Oh and make sure you share the popcorn if you end up getting it.
Oh and make sure you share the popcorn if you end up getting it.
artsi
Member
Just a quick update.
I had a date with this girl on friday, I think it went well, we had a lot to talk and laugh about over dinner and then a few beers.
I texted her the next day that I had a nice time and I'd like to see her again soon.
She also said that she had fun, didn't comment on the second date though and I didn't want to keep asking her about it in that conversation.
I've made my interest in her quite clear. She has been sending a ton of texts, pictures, videos, voice messages etc. after that and her communication is "warm" so at least she's not avoiding me despite knowing my intentions.
Going to ask her out more directly again, hopefully things go well because she's a lovely person and I really don't want to start this process once again.
I mean, I know how to play the game, and I know how to lose (take rejection), and I've also won the jackpot (a good, long relationship) two times. But goddamn I still hate the game.
I just hope I didn't do any damage.
lunchtoast
Member
Today was a bad day to join Tinder. Been chatting with a girl most of the day, then realized what am I doing wasting time so I asked her out, only to realize this week is Thanksgiving, and she lives 45 min away so tonight wouldn't work since she works tomorrow-wed. Should probably just hold off until next weekend since everyone will be going home.
Thought about making a unique thread for this, but maybe I can get some opinions here.
I've been seeing a woman for four months and she recently came out and told me that she has HSV-2 (Genital Herpes). Putting aside how scummy it is to have not told me off the bat, the relationship is good. We both really like each other and get along well. I'm a paranoid guy though, and even though I always wear protection and play it safe, I'm nervous in the off-chance that I do get infected, it's basically a death sentence for my love life down the road (should the current relationship fail).
Some people say that HSV-1 and HSV-2 are so normalized though that it's not a big deal, but the idea of an incurable infection scares the hell out of me. Should I be so worried about this or is it just paranoia?
I've been seeing a woman for four months and she recently came out and told me that she has HSV-2 (Genital Herpes). Putting aside how scummy it is to have not told me off the bat, the relationship is good. We both really like each other and get along well. I'm a paranoid guy though, and even though I always wear protection and play it safe, I'm nervous in the off-chance that I do get infected, it's basically a death sentence for my love life down the road (should the current relationship fail).
Some people say that HSV-1 and HSV-2 are so normalized though that it's not a big deal, but the idea of an incurable infection scares the hell out of me. Should I be so worried about this or is it just paranoia?
Well, she did knowingly put your health at risk at your expense for 4 months. Your call.
It's not a death sentence, but still a health concern. But, it is pretty treatable (though still not fun to have), and some people have very infrequent outbreaks.
Would things have been different if she had told you outright?
If she had told me outright, the relationship would've ended before we got attached, although that's beside the point because I don't have a time machine to go back and turn things around. I have to figure out if I want to commit to an otherwise good relationship with this risk involved.
Every fiber of my being is screaming no, but the woman I'm with is very invested, so on top of it being a good relationship, I also don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. Ultimately, it feels like I'm looking out for myself and casting them aside if I don't continue.
If you look at it objectively, she deceived you with the terms of the relationship. Now that she's put you at risk for 4 months, either the guilt became too much for her and she confessed, or maybe she got into it with the intention of deceiving you outright and only revealing it later so that you'd already be invested and it'd be harder to break it off (and maybe you'd even feel guilty about it). If you do decide to break it off, do remember that this is a consequence of her deception to begin with. Do not let yourself be guilt-tripped.
From a health perspective:
1) It *can* be pretty mild and infrequent, but not necessarily. Do not google-image genital herpes.
2) Treatment is pretty effective, but only helps reduce the duration/severity of the outbreak. It's not a magic pill that makes it instantly vanish.
3) HSV-2 is usually more severe than HSV-1. You can also get either of them on either face or genitals. So if you give oral sex, you put yourself at risk.
4) Condoms are not fool-proof. If she has a rash along the groin somewhere, just contact can spread it without requiring penetration.
5) Even if she does not actively have an outbreak, there is still a change of asymptomatic viral shedding without lesions, so there will never be a 0% chance of transmission (if she is on suppressive antiviral treatment, it might lower the risk perhaps)
So you need to outweight the pros of the current relationship, vs those health concerns AND her deception (and willingness to put you at risk without your consent - my personal dealbreaker). Everyone has a different personal line they draw.
From a health perspective:
1) It *can* be pretty mild and infrequent, but not necessarily. Do not google-image genital herpes.
2) Treatment is pretty effective, but only helps reduce the duration/severity of the outbreak. It's not a magic pill that makes it instantly vanish.
3) HSV-2 is usually more severe than HSV-1. You can also get either of them on either face or genitals. So if you give oral sex, you put yourself at risk.
4) Condoms are not fool-proof. If she has a rash along the groin somewhere, just contact can spread it without requiring penetration.
5) Even if she does not actively have an outbreak, there is still a change of asymptomatic viral shedding without lesions, so there will never be a 0% chance of transmission (if she is on suppressive antiviral treatment, it might lower the risk perhaps)
So you need to outweight the pros of the current relationship, vs those health concerns AND her deception (and willingness to put you at risk without your consent - my personal dealbreaker). Everyone has a different personal line they draw.
LucidMomentum
Member
Update: Took the girl to the restaurant. On the way there...
"I don't think boys and girls can be friends."
man...
Edit: Food is dope tho
Super late, but you were the guy who honestly wants to just go eat food with nice people, right? You shouldn't have much trouble with that.
Btw did you find out if that was a When Harry Met Sally reference or was she really saying that?
Count Dookkake
Member
Not telling you prior to first sex is unforgivable. It sucks that she has that cross to bear, but she completely failed to comport herself in an ethical manner. You have no reason to trust her from this point on.
And I say this as someone who has dated a girl with the herp. She was forthcoming and let me make my own decision as to whether or not I was willing to take the risk.
Will the Thrill
Banned
It's pretty disheartening to see someone instantly stop being OK with me after they asked what my religion was, and I told them I'm agnostic. I've always been perfectly good with dating someone who was religious. But ugh :/
Man, I don't even want to talk about how weird shit got by the end of it. I should have known better.
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
:lol If you ask someone out a second time and they say "sure, why not" is there even a point of meeting up?
Been dating a fair bit recently! Highlights:
Girl #1: 10 years my senior, we went and got drinks at this craft brewery nearby. We had a lot of similar interests (politics, music/podcast taste) but the conversation wasn't as free flowing as I thought it would be. I think she was sorta shy, she could barely make eye contact with me in the beginning. Things did get better after a few more drinks; somehow it turned into a pretty awkward one night stand and she bolted afterwards, wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing but it didn't seem like we clicked that well. I liked her but felt early on that the long term potential was low.
Girl #2: Been on three dates with her in the past few weeks, she seems pretty cool. Very intelligent (went to an Ivy League school!) and kind. I do wonder if we have enough in common; I feel like I can be too quiet without being able to gush over common interests (AND SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC THAT MUCH), but usually we've got along relatively well mostly talking about politics and travel. I think she wants to take things slow so I am trying to oblige.
Girl #3: Had one date this past Thursday that I thought went really well, we talked for 3 hours and had a similar sense of humor. I also got the feeling she was comfortable with me; she started to vent a little bit about her family dynamic and it didn't seem like she anticipated getting into that. I also thought it went well since she said she hasn't been out that late on a weekday in awhile. Anyway, I text her the next day saying I'm watching something she recommended to me, and some stupid joke about it, and then it takes her nearly another full day to respond. Now I'm wondering if she had as good a time as I did. I think she is out of town for most of next week, I still plan on seeing if she wants to meet up again when she gets back, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't happen. I do sometimes read too much into text response times though.
Another two girls have agreed to the idea of going out with me, may have to figure that out after the holiday.
Girl #1: 10 years my senior, we went and got drinks at this craft brewery nearby. We had a lot of similar interests (politics, music/podcast taste) but the conversation wasn't as free flowing as I thought it would be. I think she was sorta shy, she could barely make eye contact with me in the beginning. Things did get better after a few more drinks; somehow it turned into a pretty awkward one night stand and she bolted afterwards, wasn't sure what to make of the whole thing but it didn't seem like we clicked that well. I liked her but felt early on that the long term potential was low.
Girl #2: Been on three dates with her in the past few weeks, she seems pretty cool. Very intelligent (went to an Ivy League school!) and kind. I do wonder if we have enough in common; I feel like I can be too quiet without being able to gush over common interests (AND SHE DOESN'T LISTEN TO MUSIC THAT MUCH), but usually we've got along relatively well mostly talking about politics and travel. I think she wants to take things slow so I am trying to oblige.
Girl #3: Had one date this past Thursday that I thought went really well, we talked for 3 hours and had a similar sense of humor. I also got the feeling she was comfortable with me; she started to vent a little bit about her family dynamic and it didn't seem like she anticipated getting into that. I also thought it went well since she said she hasn't been out that late on a weekday in awhile. Anyway, I text her the next day saying I'm watching something she recommended to me, and some stupid joke about it, and then it takes her nearly another full day to respond. Now I'm wondering if she had as good a time as I did. I think she is out of town for most of next week, I still plan on seeing if she wants to meet up again when she gets back, but I wouldn't be surprised if it doesn't happen. I do sometimes read too much into text response times though.
Another two girls have agreed to the idea of going out with me, may have to figure that out after the holiday.
Count Dookkake
Member
I don't recall your previous posts, but I'm pretty certain your problems are fixable.
No need to give up just yet.
Don't be disheartened; be happy!
That dingleberry just saved you from a whole bunch of potential heartache and trouble.
They could have hidden their depth of their religiosity and then forced the issue when things got serious, or even further down the road until marriage or kids. Then they'd really have you by the balls.
Gotdatmoney
Member
This is not the type of thing you let go. You can't fucking lie about having any kind of sexual infection. Leave.
This week has thankfully cleared up a little bit for me, so I asked her out this Friday, which she can't do so I suggested early next week.Haha, I'm not that bad.
I was always planning on asking her out to see it, even if I'm not a massive fan of cinema dates.
As long as drinks are involved before or after the film I'm sure it'll be fine.
She just messaged me saying "Mmmm, is it too cheeky of me to say that I wish I didn't have to wait a week to see you?" and then suggested meeting up for dinner this Wednesday.
Not a bad sign I guess...
Messofanego
Banned
Zaraki_Kenpachi
Member
Dude, grow a spine. You're going to possibly get herpes because you don't want to hurt someone's feelings? Would you marry hey instead of breaking up with her to protect her feelings? Unless you're being an asshole, whether or not she'll have hurt feelings (doesn't pretty much everyone have hurt feelings when someone breaks up with them?) And decide what is OK with you and what you want.
Don't ever feel bad about looking out for yourself.
She was deceptive from the start and I wouldn't be able to trust someone like that personally.
Okay so this is pretty much my first time going through a traditional date 1, date 2, date 3 structure with a single girl.
We've had our second date and we're having to wait another week to see each other due to conflicting schedules. So far everything has been going really well, first kiss was awkward but hysterical, and she's a total sweet heart who's really fun to be around.
First was dinner, second we did a kind of coffee and walk around town/lunch date thing. For the third she wants to have me over to her place for some arts and crafts stuff. I guess my question is, should I try to make a move/be prepared for sex? Like I said I've never done the whole traditional structured date thing so I'm not really sure where I should be by the third date, but going back to her place seems to indicate that I should probably attempt to make some moves?
We've had our second date and we're having to wait another week to see each other due to conflicting schedules. So far everything has been going really well, first kiss was awkward but hysterical, and she's a total sweet heart who's really fun to be around.
First was dinner, second we did a kind of coffee and walk around town/lunch date thing. For the third she wants to have me over to her place for some arts and crafts stuff. I guess my question is, should I try to make a move/be prepared for sex? Like I said I've never done the whole traditional structured date thing so I'm not really sure where I should be by the third date, but going back to her place seems to indicate that I should probably attempt to make some moves?
Prepare for sex, but don't expect it. Making out is likely on the table, but beyond that you're just going to have to read the scenario. Whatever moves you make, don't go too big too fast, and listen to her if she says "no" or "not yet".
Will the Thrill
Banned
Count Dookkake, that is very true! Always nice to look at the bright side of things
And Well if you guys need a good laugh, a couple days into talking to this new tinder girl I've been friendzoned and she's already talking about netflix and chill with another dude on Tinder
And Well if you guys need a good laugh, a couple days into talking to this new tinder girl I've been friendzoned and she's already talking about netflix and chill with another dude on Tinder
I don't even know what the fuck happened here lol
Thanks. I'll do my best to not get my hopes up. We've already had our fair share of tension, so I'll take the advice and try to take it slow and not get too pushy. Thanks.
However, now copious amounts of beer will apparently be involved so I'm trying to contain my excitement, lol.
Do not mix copious amounts of alcohol and sex. That is a recipe for mistakes and regret.
Copious may have been too generous a word. We both just really like beer. 😃
Frankly with my anxiety being what it is it does far more benefit than harm. 😂
I still stand by my statement. A beer or two to get a little tipsy is fine. Much more than that and you're asking for trouble. you think your alcohol tolerance is better than it is, you two hit the bed, black out, and wake up to a barrage of angry texts informing you "you fucked up" while you can only remember repeatedly yelling at her to "shut up" the night before.
And you're still talking to her why...?
Gotdatmoney
Member
I understood that reference.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Either look really good or send a more interesting message, I would assume.
electricshake
Member
A dozen is nothing. Also make sure you have good pics.
Will the Thrill
Banned
Oh don't worry I'm not, me realizing she's just friend zoned me and her talking about the other dude was pretty quick, I got the fuck out of that fast.
I signed up to Plenty of Fish early last week since it was free - why not. I came out of a 7 year relationship around 3 years ago and have not dated once since then, but decided now is the right time.
This is my first ever experience of online dating as well so I have no previous experience to compare to - but I think I have just been very lucky here. Within 24 hours I was messaging a girl in my area who I was attracted to. She has been replying and it has been a really good feeling.
She gave me her number a few days later and we have been texting daily since. Fast-forward to yesterday afternoon and we had our first date. We met at a local train station and walked along the seafront. We walked for about 3 hours, got hot chocolate and some chips (the British kind!) and sat on the sea wall. It was really nice and the conversation was fantastic - and she is gorgeous as well. We got on the train home together and I suggested another meeting sometime, she seemed happy to do so. We text a few times that evening after our date (both agreed we had a great time) and again this morning and afternoon.
It just feels mad this has all happened in as little as a week since deciding to put myself out there. I'm not sure why I posted this to be honest, but I would like to think if there is anyone out there on the fence about trying online dating - just go for it. It's fun and a huge boost to confidence for me.
This is my first ever experience of online dating as well so I have no previous experience to compare to - but I think I have just been very lucky here. Within 24 hours I was messaging a girl in my area who I was attracted to. She has been replying and it has been a really good feeling.
She gave me her number a few days later and we have been texting daily since. Fast-forward to yesterday afternoon and we had our first date. We met at a local train station and walked along the seafront. We walked for about 3 hours, got hot chocolate and some chips (the British kind!) and sat on the sea wall. It was really nice and the conversation was fantastic - and she is gorgeous as well. We got on the train home together and I suggested another meeting sometime, she seemed happy to do so. We text a few times that evening after our date (both agreed we had a great time) and again this morning and afternoon.
It just feels mad this has all happened in as little as a week since deciding to put myself out there. I'm not sure why I posted this to be honest, but I would like to think if there is anyone out there on the fence about trying online dating - just go for it. It's fun and a huge boost to confidence for me.
Absolutely agree. I'm taking my time and don't want to ruin anything. What would you say is too much? We're texting maybe 3-4 times throughout an entire day. It feels okay at that pace to me, not overbearing for me.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Back and forth.
For example, she text in the morning today. I replied. I text in the afternoon, she replied. That's it for today so far.
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