Well ...
This is a cry for help, with a little ranting and a lot of unnecessary back story
A month and a half ago I met a girl at a student party in a tent next to the university. Actually I wasn't looking for a girl there, I just went spontaneously with a colleague because he's kinda desperate looking for new people/a new gf and wanted some company. I had no intention to meet girls at all. Just grab a few beers after work and chat with friends. Later that evening our group (actually a friend of mine and his posse) chatted up a group of girls and I went of looking for a couple of beers. When I came back the event was over and the security guards made us leave the area. Someone asked: "Where are the girls? They wanted to hit another club and drink some tequilas with us..." Me: "Well, I just go back and look for them." So I went back into the tent, looked for them and found the cute one. "Hey, you said you'd like to drink tequila with us." "Yeah, sure!" The security guard asked us to leave again. "Yeah, sure." We went outside the tent. And she just stopped and started chatting with me. She's new to the city, just started studying here, got fed up with the work she did before, comes from a town nearby, lives in a 1 room apartment. Actually she knew what she wanted and had an idea how she wants to accomplish her goals. I began to get interested in her and kept the conservation going. Actually I started to get into the "zone" and only had eyes and ears for her. My friends started to pull out their phones, pointing at them. I grinned, nodded and focused on her again. A few moments later we headed to the next club.
We arrived at the end of the cue, my friends said, "Fuck it, the cue is long, we're outta here, have fun, good luck, see you!" Now I was alone with the cutie's group. When we entered it, I asked for her number. "Well, actually I have a boyfriend, but give me your phone, I'll just enter my number and call myself so I have yours. Oh, please enter your name into my contacts. Thanks!" OOOOOKAAAAY. The first moment of great confusion, but I didn't think much about it and just went on to have some fun. After we got to the bar, we just sat down and went on talking. The beers were empty I looked on my phone and was a little bit terrified. It was already 1 a.m. and I had to work the next day. "Hey, it was real fun, but I have to go now. Work starts in a few hours." "Oh, yeah, I have a lesson in the morning too, I'll go with you." A few steps down the stairs to the wardrobe, she looked at me, and said, "Well, we didn't dance. I really want to dance. You want to come?" "Ah, fuck it, why not?" We went dancing. The music was utter crap. We laughed about it together and I simply looked at her the whole time. So did the rest of my fellow male competitors. All eyez on her like she was Tupac. Yarp, she's a beauty. Suddenly I realized I still had to get up and get to work in the next 5 hours. I told her, asked if she was okay, if I leave. She said, "Sure, I know some people here. Have a good night!" and hugged me.
Two days after this night, I asked her, if she came home safely and if she made her lesson in the morning. She was a bit sick and didn't make it. I told her to get well soon. This was it. A week later I was in Serbia and sent her a picture of a store she used to work for in Germany. "Well, maybe try it in Serbia then?" She laughed (at least the emoji did) and asked me, what I was doing there. I told her, she wished me a nice trip and we went back to silence again.
After two weeks I thought (well, actually I never forgot her) again about her and her actions the night I met her. "Ah, fuck it. There is a holiday coming this week, maybe she wants to go party with me the night before." I sent a text and initiated some smalltalk. She told me about all her projects and stuff she had to do at the moment. I mentally prepared for a rejection because of the few moments free time she had. Yep, called it. She still agreed to a meeting when she had less stuff to do. We made a few jokes about the project and I left her alone again. The next few days I pinged her sporadicly about the project and her exam. Everything went fine and we agreed to meet each other two days later.
Wednesday evening. It was on!
Nervous as fuck I took the tram wondering if her bf will show up and beat me to death or maybe she brought a few friends? Narp, there she was, alone, beautiful as I remembered her, smiled at me and hugged me. We went for drinks and bar hopping. She actually got my hint at a walk to the nightlife area of the city, but the weather wasn't supporting my game. The conversation went on and on, we never got bored (at least I think so) and nobody stared at the phone and texted with others. While listening to her I mentally fist bumped my drunken-me for its choice of women. She actually played with her hair a few time while smiling at me. The best part? She never mentioned the bad, bad word "boyfriend". Not a single time. After 4 hours we got back to the tram station. I may fucked this part a bit up. A few moments before I told her which trams get me back home from here. My tram got into the station, she started to say goodbye and I said, "nah, you're tram is leaving not until almost 15 minutes. I'll wait, get on the same tram as you and will change at this station." "Ah, I got this." "Hm, I have nothing special to do anyway." "Okay." Maybe I should have left her alone and hopped on the tram after a goodbye hug? Probably.
Later I got with her on the tram, the topic was politics. I kinda agreed with her views but had no real interest talking about it in the last few minutes we had this evening. So maybe I was a bit unfocused and seemed bored. At the station where I had to change the tram, we hugged and said goodbye.
Friday morning I messaged her, if she got home safe. (I didn't metnion that I enjoyed our little meeting. Maybe I should have?) She answered "Sure, how about you." Told her everything went smooth and asked her about how her day with her mother was (her mother came to visit her on Thursday). Made a joke. She said "Haha yes" and went silent again. I didn't know what to answer, was a bit fed up with the short answers and went on strolling through Berlin with some friends.
That's like things are now.
I had the feeling that evening went great (if you leave the the things mentioned above out of the equation), but the answers are killing me. Short. Didn't mention how she liked the evening. Didn't say something like, "Wanna join me and some friends clubbing this weekend?" and so on.
Did I read the signs correct?
Every person I spoke to thinks that it's strange to just meet with a complete stranger that's (clearly) interested in you, if you're in a (happy) relationship and to go on with my efforts.
They mentioned different approaches when I asked what they think though.
Some said, "just text her, that you enjoyed the evening and ask her out a second time!"
Others told me, "Wait until she texts you again!"
The third group, "Don't rush and scare her." Although nobody has an idea what "don't rush it" means in days.
At the moment I'm thinking about texting her on Monday/Tuesday asking her if she wants to meet again this week(end).
I'm not a fan of the "old" saying "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
If somebody is interested in me, I would appreciate knowing about it and would feel flattered.
I hate this game to the fullest.
TL;DR: Met a girl that told me she was in a relationship. Met with her anyway. Had a great time together. Felt like she actually has no bf. No idea what's up now and how to go on ...
