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[WolfeTone]

Thanks for the additional replies/comments.

I had no idea that ghosting is really common.

It sucked when it has happened to me, but now being on the other side of it. I get why people do it now.

It's not ghosting if it's mutual.

For a first date, it's absolutely fine not to message after.

 

[Will the Thrill]

Officially dating the girl I met through Okcupid. We're great for each other. Her roommate is also dating a girl he met through OKcupid, some of you might wanna check that site out.

Best of luck everyone!

Congrats!

Okcupid has never gotten me anywhere sadly :/ compared to Tinder I get absolutely no responses and if I do they never lead anywhere.

----

Well guys, I have a new date planned for tomorrow from Tinder so wish me luck, one odd but funny thing, she's a writer and working on her own books but hates reading in general.

 

[radioactivez0r]

Hi dating gaf, how's everyone this evening?

This is a vent, so I hope everyone doesn't mind.

I just got done with a date and it started well enough, we met after talking on the phone earlier in the day and we both breathed a sign of relief that we looked like our profile pics and had a little laugh about it. We went for coffee and started to talk, things were going well until she brought up the subject of people she's dated. I sat and listened to nearly 20 minutes of horror stories, men who had groped her, made inappropriate comments and one even tried to slip something into her drink.

After she finished she asked me and I was honest about things, she seemed okay about everything but after we left and started to head towards the second part of our date she launched into a huge rant about how men aren't willing to date women their own age and always want to date younger women and she attacked me directly saying that I must be immature to have dated someone who was five years younger than me and for mostly having younger dates and relationships. It soured the whole experience, I felt like I was being chastised by her and she wouldn't stop. Eventually we reached our destination and things settled down, we started to have fun but her rant stuck with me and while I did have fun for the rest of the date I didn't appreciate the dressing down she gave me and I feel her being judgemental without knowing anything significant about me is a red flag about the type of person she is.

Am I reading too much into her behaviour or am I right to see the red flag and not contact her again? I didn't send her a message after the date, but as we said goodbye, we hugged and she said she had a good time and we should skype over the weekend to arrange something next week.

Would it be wrong if I didn't respond to her messages or should I see her rant as her venting and not a sign of a deeper issue?

She's the oldest women I've ever dated, she's 34 to my 31, so I don't know if her age is the problem here and she's feeling frustrated or something? I apologise if that's judgemental or anything, I'm trying to rationalise her behaviour.

I think I'm at the point in my life where if someone I just met started judging me for my past I'd walk out on the date. Like, why even give them the opportunity? That's awful.

 

[MogCakes]

Going to drink a hefty amount of Bushmills tonight. Date cancelled on me. Here's to the single life!

 

[TheAquaticApe]

Am I reading too much into her behaviour or am I right to see the red flag and not contact her again?

It sounds like you had a good time on the date overall. Sometimes people say silly things on dates because they're nervous. I usually gave people the benefit of the doubt. Was her tone serious or sarcastic? It could have been a joke that went sideways on her. I've had that happen before. If you honestly had a good time and that was the one bad thing I would say give it another go.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

It sounds like you had a good time on the date overall. Sometimes people say silly things on dates because they're nervous. I usually gave people the benefit of the doubt. Was her tone serious or sarcastic? It could have been a joke that went sideways on her. I've had that happen before. If you honestly had a good time and that was the one bad thing I would say give it another go.

I agree in theory but not in practice.

No one should bring up who they've dated in the past within 20 minutes of meeting another person. That's quite possibly the biggest red flag there is, to say nothing of the other personal attacks.

Basically: it sounds like this woman has a twisted world-view and she's expecting Clay Davis to fit into it ("Men only want women 10 years younger, those assholes!"), even though... he did go out with her. She's toxic and negative and she doesn't understand proper dating etiquette.

Take a hard pass on her, Clay.

 

[WolfeTone]

I agree in theory but not in practice.

No one should bring up who they've dated in the past within 20 minutes of meeting another person. That's quite possibly the biggest red flag there is, to say nothing of the other personal attacks.

Basically: it sounds like this woman has a twisted world-view and she's expecting Clay Davis to fit into it ("Men only want women 10 years younger, those assholes!"), even though... he did go out with her. She's toxic and negative and she doesn't understand proper dating etiquette.

Take a hard pass on her, Clay.

I agree with this.

This girl sounds very insecure about her age, maybe she's been burned in the past, who knows. It's no reason for her to lash out at you like that. This person will be a source of drama in your life. If she can't contain that on a first date, there's not much hope for her.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Hi dating gaf, how's everyone this evening?

This is a vent, so I hope everyone doesn't mind.

I just got done with a date and it started well enough, we met after talking on the phone earlier in the day and we both breathed a sign of relief that we looked like our profile pics and had a little laugh about it. We went for coffee and started to talk, things were going well until she brought up the subject of people she's dated. I sat and listened to nearly 20 minutes of horror stories, men who had groped her, made inappropriate comments and one even tried to slip something into her drink.

After she finished she asked me and I was honest about things, she seemed okay about everything but after we left and started to head towards the second part of our date she launched into a huge rant about how men aren't willing to date women their own age and always want to date younger women and she attacked me directly saying that I must be immature to have dated someone who was five years younger than me and for mostly having younger dates and relationships. It soured the whole experience, I felt like I was being chastised by her and she wouldn't stop. Eventually we reached our destination and things settled down, we started to have fun but her rant stuck with me and while I did have fun for the rest of the date I didn't appreciate the dressing down she gave me and I feel her being judgemental without knowing anything significant about me is a red flag about the type of person she is.

Am I reading too much into her behaviour or am I right to see the red flag and not contact her again? I didn't send her a message after the date, but as we said goodbye, we hugged and she said she had a good time and we should skype over the weekend to arrange something next week.

Would it be wrong if I didn't respond to her messages or should I see her rant as her venting and not a sign of a deeper issue?

She's the oldest women I've ever dated, she's 34 to my 31, so I don't know if her age is the problem here and she's feeling frustrated or something? I apologise if that's judgemental or anything, I'm trying to rationalise her behaviour.

Don't rationalize the behaviour. That shit is fucking not okay. Bail like you need outta jail son.

 

[Sky Chief]

On Sunday, I matched with this girl on Tinder and we had a great time chatting. Soon after on her suggestion we switched to texting. On Monday, I asked her out and we agreed on tonight at 8. She said "It's a date ". I knew she mentioned she thought she might be getting sick then so I asked her during the week how she was doing but no response. I texted her this morning seeing how she was and if everything was good for tonight and no response. So now I'm just wondering is there any point of even going to our agreed upon meeting place? I've only had a couple girls flake and at least then they came up with some crappy excuse to postpone but is there any reason to go anyway? I mean I don't know, maybe she lost her phone or something but we still had plans...

 

[bluethree]

On Sunday, I matched with this girl on Tinder and we had a great time chatting. Soon after on her suggestion we switched to texting. On Monday, I asked her out and we agreed on tonight at 8. She said "It's a date ". I knew she mentioned she thought she might be getting sick then so I asked her during the week how she was doing but no response. I texted her this morning seeing how she was and if everything was good for tonight and no response. So now I'm just wondering is there any point of even going to our agreed upon meeting place? I've only had a couple girls flake and at least then they came up with some crappy excuse to postpone but is there any reason to go anyway? I mean I don't know, maybe she lost her phone or something but we still had plans...

Don't go to the meeting place without confirmation. It sucks but it happens.

 

[names2hard4you]

On Sunday, I matched with this girl on Tinder and we had a great time chatting. Soon after on her suggestion we switched to texting. On Monday, I asked her out and we agreed on tonight at 8. She said "It's a date ". I knew she mentioned she thought she might be getting sick then so I asked her during the week how she was doing but no response. I texted her this morning seeing how she was and if everything was good for tonight and no response. So now I'm just wondering is there any point of even going to our agreed upon meeting place? I've only had a couple girls flake and at least then they came up with some crappy excuse to postpone but is there any reason to go anyway? I mean I don't know, maybe she lost her phone or something but we still had plans...

Son. You have a lot to learn. It was talked about on this very page, but it seems like in your desperation for an answer you did not read. Look up "ghosting". As it was said, yes it happens. If she lost her phone and it was that important to her, she would have found a method of getting in contact with you anyway, she wouldn't go to that place without confirming with you also.

 

[turtle553]

Hi dating gaf, how's everyone this evening?

This is a vent, so I hope everyone doesn't mind.

I just got done with a date and it started well enough, we met after talking on the phone earlier in the day and we both breathed a sign of relief that we looked like our profile pics and had a little laugh about it. We went for coffee and started to talk, things were going well until she brought up the subject of people she's dated. I sat and listened to nearly 20 minutes of horror stories, men who had groped her, made inappropriate comments and one even tried to slip something into her drink.

After she finished she asked me and I was honest about things, she seemed okay about everything but after we left and started to head towards the second part of our date she launched into a huge rant about how men aren't willing to date women their own age and always want to date younger women and she attacked me directly saying that I must be immature to have dated someone who was five years younger than me and for mostly having younger dates and relationships. It soured the whole experience, I felt like I was being chastised by her and she wouldn't stop. Eventually we reached our destination and things settled down, we started to have fun but her rant stuck with me and while I did have fun for the rest of the date I didn't appreciate the dressing down she gave me and I feel her being judgemental without knowing anything significant about me is a red flag about the type of person she is.

Am I reading too much into her behaviour or am I right to see the red flag and not contact her again? I didn't send her a message after the date, but as we said goodbye, we hugged and she said she had a good time and we should skype over the weekend to arrange something next week.

Would it be wrong if I didn't respond to her messages or should I see her rant as her venting and not a sign of a deeper issue?

She's the oldest women I've ever dated, she's 34 to my 31, so I don't know if her age is the problem here and she's feeling frustrated or something? I apologise if that's judgemental or anything, I'm trying to rationalise her behaviour.

I went out with someone my own age, 38, and she had so much emotional baggage. Always complaining about being used and how modern dating is terrible. We went out for a couple of months, but it never went away.

 

[ZackieChan]

Got dates tonight, tomorrow, and next weekend with three different girls. The king is back

 

[artsi]

Met a girl on Tinder, she announced in a very clear way that she's not looking for hookups, and neither am I so that's cool.
Then we chatted a while and asked her out, got her number etc.

Well it's a date this weekend. I suggested coffee first but now she wants to meet at her place ("look at her pets") and my phone is full of her suggestive, sexually loaded texts.

I mean I'm not saying no but... why don't you just admit you're horny af girl.

Going to her place in a few hours, I have absolutely no idea what's going to happen because she keeps giving these mixed messages but I'll just have to be prepared for anything and wing it, lol.

At least I'll see a kitten. I love kittens.

 

[Blackquill]

I asked the girl out on facebook said she wanted to see but not for a date so I guess it's over.

And one week on Tinder for 5 matchs and no response from all of them, guess my pictures are still lame I don't know how to make them better

 

[Jokab]

Hi dating gaf, how's everyone this evening?

This is a vent, so I hope everyone doesn't mind.

I just got done with a date and it started well enough, we met after talking on the phone earlier in the day and we both breathed a sign of relief that we looked like our profile pics and had a little laugh about it. We went for coffee and started to talk, things were going well until she brought up the subject of people she's dated. I sat and listened to nearly 20 minutes of horror stories, men who had groped her, made inappropriate comments and one even tried to slip something into her drink.

After she finished she asked me and I was honest about things, she seemed okay about everything but after we left and started to head towards the second part of our date she launched into a huge rant about how men aren't willing to date women their own age and always want to date younger women and she attacked me directly saying that I must be immature to have dated someone who was five years younger than me and for mostly having younger dates and relationships. It soured the whole experience, I felt like I was being chastised by her and she wouldn't stop. Eventually we reached our destination and things settled down, we started to have fun but her rant stuck with me and while I did have fun for the rest of the date I didn't appreciate the dressing down she gave me and I feel her being judgemental without knowing anything significant about me is a red flag about the type of person she is.

Am I reading too much into her behaviour or am I right to see the red flag and not contact her again? I didn't send her a message after the date, but as we said goodbye, we hugged and she said she had a good time and we should skype over the weekend to arrange something next week.

Would it be wrong if I didn't respond to her messages or should I see her rant as her venting and not a sign of a deeper issue?

She's the oldest women I've ever dated, she's 34 to my 31, so I don't know if her age is the problem here and she's feeling frustrated or something? I apologise if that's judgemental or anything, I'm trying to rationalise her behaviour.

I'd definitely not see her again. If she reaches out again, then I'd perhaps text her that what she said was not appreciated and that she comes of as a very negative person. Perhaps she doesn't realize how she's perceived.

 

[Booser]

This is kind of a pet issue of mine, but in my opinion, you didn't ask her out. You should try being more direct. If I were you I would have said: "Let's meet for dinner at Local Italian Restaurant at 7pm the Wednesday after you get back."

The timing of her trip complicates things so you could have just asked her when she got back.

I feel like a lot of people ask other people out 'in theory', so they'll say stuff like "Wanna go out for drinks sometime?" To me, that's not asking someone out. Asking someone out is "Want to go for drinks on Friday at 9pm at Local Bar?".

I get your point. But if someone is genuinely interested they will still agree and acknowledge what you said. Anyway, I have a first date with a different girl later, who coincidentally has the same name.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

I asked the girl out on facebook said she wanted to see but not for a date so I guess it's over.

And one week on Tinder for 5 matchs and no response from all of them, guess my pictures are still lame I don't know how to make them better

I mean you matched in the first place out of hundreds of guys so your pictures aren't that bad. People play Tinder like a game, some people aren't even on there for dating.

Must say the "In a happy relationship, just on here to chat" profiles always make me giggle.

 

[FyreWulff]

Online dating is disheartening. What's the secret? I feel like it's just a waste of time.

Don't treat it like you're shopping for people to date (ie, trying to select "the one you like" and then elevator pitching them death). You gotta set the ego aside, read profiles, and then send someone conversation starter message to anyone that has a high match rate. I'd say around 15-20 people a day. Don't send more than one message to start, and don't send another one if they stop responding.

 

[Blackquill]

I mean you matched in the first place out of hundreds of guys so your pictures aren't that bad. People play Tinder like a game, some people aren't even on there for dating.

Must say the "In a happy relationship, just on here to chat" profiles always make me giggle.

I don't know maybe because these 5 girls are just that desperate i dunno

 

[Delicious Waffles]

Quick little story.

Had a work holiday party last night. There's a girl I've known a few years that works with me. We met in college and she got a job at this place before me. We're just chatting since we rarely see each other. We're chatting about work and, one thing led to another, I kinda tell her I've been into her for a while. She pretty much got it out of me. I can't even remember how but whatever.

After that, for the next two or so hours, she's continuously tells me how she's boring, she's not like other girls, and she's never had a relationship due to the lifestyle she leads (basically, she travels the world on a whim thus never being tied down). Throughout all this, there's an open bar. She's getting tipsier and tipsier. I didn't drink since I drove.

I got the gist that nothing is going to materialize, despite the fact she said she was curious about the situation, but that was near the end of the night so I don't know if that's legit or not.

My question is next time I see her, what should I do?

 

[ZackieChan]

How about don't miss obvious clues that she's into you?

 

[Delicious Waffles]

How about don't miss obvious clues that she's into you?

Really? I'm that oblivious? Wow. I suck at this.

 

[ZackieChan]

Really? I'm that oblivious? Wow. I suck at this.

Just going off what you said, that seems like the point. Otherwise, wouldn't she have tried to escape after you said you lied her?

 

[Delicious Waffles]

Just going off what you said, that seems like the point. Otherwise, wouldn't she have tried to escape after you said you lied her?

Wait, where'd I lie to her?

 

[GK86]

Wait, where'd I lie to her?

I think he meant, liked.

 

[ZackieChan]

I think he meant, liked.

Yeah, sorry. Blame SwiftKey

 

[Delicious Waffles]

I think he meant, liked.

Oh, okay. I was looking back, hoping I didn't lie to her or something, haha.

I understand not escaping but she didn't really give me a clear cut answer to what I said, except for saying she's curious about the situation. I feel she basically gave me a whole bunch of reasons as to why it wouldn't work but in the vaguest sense. Thing is, with the alcohol involved, I don't know. She seemed pretty with it until the end so I don't really want to base it on that.

Should I text her, see if we can meet up, and clear the air? Should I wait until I see her at work?

 

[Xun]

Had a date with the girl I'm seeing at the moment and went back to her flat last night.

We tried it twice, but both times failed miserably. The first time I didn't work, and the 2nd time she said she was too intimidated by my size and tensed up...

It didn't help matters she didn't want to do oral yet either since she finds it more intimate and wants to know me better first, but it certainly would've made things easier.

She wants to make it work next time though, so fingers crossed it goes better. 😐

 

[LucidMomentum]

Had a date with the girl I'm seeing at the moment and went back to her flat last night.

We tried it twice, but both times failed miserably. The first time I didn't work, and the 2nd time she said she was too intimidated by my size and tensed up...

It didn't help matters she didn't want to do oral yet either since she finds it more intimate and wants to know me better first, but it certainly would've made things easier.

She wants to make it work next time though, so fingers crossed it goes better. 😐

Seems like you both got nervous. But if she's down to try it again then yeah, you're gonna be okay.

Just bring lube and take it slow if she feels intimidated by your size.

Give her a massage and or some foreplay to loosen her up and get her more comfortable, although the oral thing might make that a challenge.

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

I don't know maybe because these 5 girls are just that desperate i dunno

I had exactly the same thing man, 6 girls matched with and only 1/6 replied. Like any other dating site, it's a law of averages.

With POF I literally messaged 20 girls in one night.

 

[Afrocious]

Had a date with the girl I'm seeing at the moment and went back to her flat last night.

We tried it twice, but both times failed miserably. The first time I didn't work, and the 2nd time she said she was too intimidated by my size and tensed up...

It didn't help matters she didn't want to do oral yet either since she finds it more intimate and wants to know me better first, but it certainly would've made things easier.

She wants to make it work next time though, so fingers crossed it goes better. 😐

This is the exact reason why I find having a bigger than average penis annoying as opposed to be something to have some faux-pride over. I haven't had good sex in forever because of this. I work with what I got but damn.

 

[War Peaceman]

This is the exact reason why I find having a bigger than average penis annoying as opposed to be something to have some faux-pride over. I haven't had good sex in forever because of this. I work with what I got but damn.

gaf is full of large members so you should find many are empathetic to your struggles here

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

gaf is full of large members so you should find many are empathetic to your struggles here

Actually the reason registration takes so long is because Evillore has to jet over to wherever you are and ensure you're above average. That "no free email" thing is just a cover story.

 

[Afrocious]

I don't think there's a large group on GAF that have above average penises. They're probably outspoken and vocal, however.

I could be wrong though.

 

[Exokell]

Fucking hard... Be with my girl, she super bitch mad. Treat me like shit. Go to a new job, girls try to feel my muscle, calling me handsome. This beautiful girl at work telling me to treat her lunch. Love is retarded.

 

[TimeEffect]

I hate asking for help, but I need advice from a girl gaffer or some dudes.

Can I possibly PM somebody? Kind of urgent since I have to see this person every weekend and she wants to meet tonight but I just dont want to do this because I feel she's being dramatic for no reason

I really dont want to make a separate thread

 

[M52B28]

When on dates, do any of you prefer to sit side by side, or across from your date?

There's something I find great about sitting side by side.

I hate asking for help, but I need advice from a girl gaffer or some dudes.

Can I possibly PM somebody? Kind of urgent since I have to see this person every weekend and she wants to meet tonight but I just dont want to do this because I feel she's being dramatic for no reason

I'm down for a story. Send me a PM.

This is the exact reason why I find having a bigger than average penis annoying as opposed to be something to have some faux-pride over. I haven't had good sex in forever because of this. I work with what I got but damn.

I kind of laughed when reading this, but I guess I can understand why you'd be annoyed.

I'm just average, but when I wear some shorts, I have a bulge. If I were any bigger, I would be really annoyed.

I work with what I have. I'd rather do oral in the first place, so it's not a big deal to me.

 

[TimeEffect]

When on dates, do any of you prefer to sit side by side, or across from your date?

There's something I find great about sitting side by side.


I'm down for a story. Send me a PM.

I kind of laughed when reading this, but I guess I can understand why you'd be annoyed.

I'm just average, but when I wear some shorts, I have a bulge. If I were any bigger, I would be really annoyed.

I work with what I have. I'd rather do oral in the first place, so it's not a big deal to me.

It would mean a lot. Sending

 

[War Peaceman]

I don't think there's a large group on GAF that have above average penises. They're probably outspoken and vocal, however.

I could be wrong though.

No actually the gaf average (tm) is noticeably above the human average.

Spoiler

I hope you manage to resolve your issues

 

[TimeEffect]

When on dates, do any of you prefer to sit side by side, or across from your date?

There's something I find great about sitting side by side.


I'm down for a story. Send me a PM.

I kind of laughed when reading this, but I guess I can understand why you'd be annoyed.

I'm just average, but when I wear some shorts, I have a bulge. If I were any bigger, I would be really annoyed.

I work with what I have. I'd rather do oral in the first place, so it's not a big deal to me.

I sent it, Id really appreciate some perspective, as best you can from my version of things.

 

[Messofanego]

I asked the girl out on facebook said she wanted to see but not for a date so I guess it's over.

And one week on Tinder for 5 matchs and no response from all of them, guess my pictures are still lame I don't know how to make them better

I don't know maybe because these 5 girls are just that desperate i dunno

Work on your self esteem. There is self deprecation and then there is self loathing. Like a famous cosmetic slogan goes, "Youre worth it!".

 

[peanutbutterlatte]

What's your opinion on putting a selfie in your profile if it's just one, and surrounded by pics of you with friends & taken by other people? Got a new haircut and wanted to show it off, looks kinda decent for once.

I know mirror pics are a hard "no".

 

[GK86]

When on dates, do any of you prefer to sit side by side, or across from your date?

There's something I find great about sitting side by side.

Side-by-side. Easier to make a move if we are both feeling it.

 

[Afrocious]

I'm considering taking my dating profiles offline. Might go on a break. I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth being on dating sites if you're not looking for anything serious.

 

[M52B28]

Side-by-side. Easier to make a move if we are both feeling it.

Yeah, that's how I'd rather sit.

Better for me because I get distracted by background activity when in busy places, plus it's easier to hear person if it's noisy.

 

[Salamando]

What's your opinion on putting a selfie in your profile if it's just one, and surrounded by pics of you with friends & taken by other people? Got a new haircut and wanted to show it off, looks kinda decent for once.

I know mirror pics are a hard "no".

One selfie is fine, you just better look damn good in it! Take dozens of pics, and use the very best one.

 

[Kieli]

I'd definitely not see her again. If she reaches out again, then I'd perhaps text her that what she said was not appreciated and that she comes of as a very negative person. Perhaps she doesn't realize how she's perceived.

She'd seem the type of person that if you'd try to explain to her rationally that her rants were off-putting and inappropriate on a first-date, she'd feel all the more validated.

 

[Blackquill]

I had exactly the same thing man, 6 girls matched with and only 1/6 replied. Like any other dating site, it's a law of averages.

With POF I literally messaged 20 girls in one night.

POF ?

Work on your self esteem. There is self deprecation and then there is self loathing. Like a famous cosmetic slogan goes, "Youre worth it!".

I'm working on it !

 

[Xun]

Seems like you both got nervous. But if she's down to try it again then yeah, you're gonna be okay.

Just bring lube and take it slow if she feels intimidated by your size.

Give her a massage and or some foreplay to loosen her up and get her more comfortable, although the oral thing might make that a challenge.

This is the exact reason why I find having a bigger than average penis annoying as opposed to be something to have some faux-pride over. I haven't had good sex in forever because of this. I work with what I got but damn.

I was taking it slow before, but I'm definitely going to take lube next time just in case.

It certainly doesn't help that I suffer with anxiety, so my mind is already thinking about next time going the same way...

gaf is full of large members so you should find many are empathetic to your struggles here

I know it may sound like I'm bragging, but it honestly made me feel pretty shit.