Megalosaro
Banned
Who is the dad? If it's Brown, youre fucked.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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names2hard4you
Member
It'd be awkward lol. Swipe right, and if she recognizes you and swipes right also, maybe then talk.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Past my prime, man. I would too.
I fuckin wish it was. I'd be there every time he came to see his kids. Ask him to ride in his Bentley, tell him he fucked my girl better than I can, say business is booming like 40 times a day, probably live somewhere dope because he's paying child support. I'd try and marry that girl haha
william_557
Member
I don't really use tinder much and id imagine she wouldn't use it and i know it'd be a little awkward i'm just wondering if i should go about it and/or the best way to do that
Damn man, I really wanna know who the Steelers player is. I totally understand and encourage you not naming him, though.
You are both on Tinder. This just sounds like excuses. Is this you being 'shy'?
ZackieChan
Member
Literally anything you do is better than just making excuses and doing nothing. Also, Tinder notifies you if she swipes right after you did. So...it doesn't matter how often you use it.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Yeah, lol, I can't do that. I can't even give clues I think people would be able to guess if I did.
william_557
Member
What i mean by this is if i have her number already should i just sit there and wait for her to swipe right after i've already done so? (We haven't matched yet if thats what you mean?)
That seems more like the shy option
I mentioned tinder as it was what reminded me of this girl
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Just text her, what's the worst that could happen? She doesn't reply?
william_557
Member
Sure im just not sure how to go about reintroducing myself if we haven't spoken in months?
Thanks for the advice though
Just either friggin swipe and wait for her to swipe, and say hi or something, or text her and say hi.
Christ. This is not rocket science.
artsi
Member
lol, kind of similiar thing happened when I went on a date with a close relative of an F1 driver.
Nothing came out of it in the end, but I dunno if I could handle being around someone who's not only a nationwide but worldwide superstar.
Ray Wonder
Founder of the Wounded Tagless Children
Idk, if she has your number, and you talked enough to where she'd remember you, "Hey how's it going" Or "Hey, how've you been"
Yeah that would be weird.
I went on a single date with Kurt Angle's niece, like 4 years ago.
Was proud of myself. Even though she didn't want a second one. lol
Clay Davis
Member
Good evening dating gaf, hope everyone is doing well.
I took everyone's advice and didn't call her over the weekend, she didn't call me either so I thought that was the end of it until earlier when she sent me a long message through whatsapp saying she knew I was immature and couldn't handle a real woman who knows her worth and some other stuff that I won't go into, but it's weird isn't it that she feels this kind of response to my not calling her is acceptable?
I didn't reply and I have blocked her number, but it's really eating at me that she sent such a message, I've got a really strong urge to reply back and tell her her behaviour is out of order, but I also get the sense that's what she wants, she wants a reaction and by not giving her one, I don't feed her issues or validate her behaviour.
Am I reading the situation correctly?
To the other point, does anyone here think she might be right in that dating younger women shows a sign of immaturity and an unwillingness to grow up and accept responsibility? I've never thought about it like that before, but I am questioning myself after her outbursts.
I took everyone's advice and didn't call her over the weekend, she didn't call me either so I thought that was the end of it until earlier when she sent me a long message through whatsapp saying she knew I was immature and couldn't handle a real woman who knows her worth and some other stuff that I won't go into, but it's weird isn't it that she feels this kind of response to my not calling her is acceptable?
I didn't reply and I have blocked her number, but it's really eating at me that she sent such a message, I've got a really strong urge to reply back and tell her her behaviour is out of order, but I also get the sense that's what she wants, she wants a reaction and by not giving her one, I don't feed her issues or validate her behaviour.
Am I reading the situation correctly?
To the other point, does anyone here think she might be right in that dating younger women shows a sign of immaturity and an unwillingness to grow up and accept responsibility? I've never thought about it like that before, but I am questioning myself after her outbursts.
Crash55118
Member
It honestly sounds much more like she is projecting her insecurities on to you, and trying to get you to admit fault to validate herself.
You did the right thing in not responding. Don't reengage, there is no positive outcome.
That is the kind of message where I'd feel so bothered by that I'd feel compelled to reply because it is on my mind so much and I'd tell her how I really feel about her and what I think is wrong with her. I might just say some sort of goodbye. But I do think that it is better to just not reply and just eventually forget about what she said. And yeah I think that she wants a reaction out of you.
I wouldn't put stock in what she says. Dating younger people doesn't make you immature. You can be compatible with people of different ages. You can be a completely responsible adult and still date someone younger. Don't let her outbursts get in your head
Incendiary
Banned
I had a similar experience. I started dating a 20 year old (when I was 30) and I had a friend (with benefits) at the time that I stopped seeing because of it who was a few years older than me. She didn't take it very well and one night at a mutual friends party she got drunk and started laying into me, but not in an aggressive way but more of a guilting me way. Lots of references to "trading in for a newer model" and how I hope I enjoy my fling and that it won't be as satisfying as a real relationship. Even tried to get me to go home with her instead because clearly we had a better connection than I could hope for with a younger girl.
Thing was I got along great with the 20 year old and was happier dating her than I'd ever been with the FWB. We always had fun together, had similar interests, and she was super mature for her age (about most things). It wasn't about me dating her because she was 20, I was dating her because I liked her and had things in common with her.
Sometimes people project their own insecurities onto you. I think this woman has just been burned by too many men (or maybe one or two specific ones) in regards to her vs. "the newer model." You didn't do anything wrong and you read the situation right - she's trying to get under your skin. You're allowed to have preferences - I have absolutely no guilt about preferring women younger than me and I don't think I'm immature or not ready for commitment. In fact I'm regularly referred to as the Dad of my group of friends due to my responsibility and several people think I act like I already have kids and are surprised that I don't.
So yeah - long story short - you did a good, and don't doubt yourself. She's just trying to validate her world view.
Count Dookkake
Member
Was this the old lady who was lecturing you for dating younger? (Been a lot of action on GAF lately so it's hard to keep up.)
If so you have 2 options:
-no response
-"Maybe you're right. Good luck with that biological clock thing!"
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Don't reply. She's batshit.
From what I recall, you dated women a few years younger. You're not dating 19-year-olds. So, no, it doesn't show a sign of immaturity. She's the immature one for conducting herself like a child.
artsi
Member
That's crazy, just ignore what she's saying and keep on rolling man.
This girl I'm seeing now is also 4 years younger than me, and god forgive them if someone said I'm immature because of that.
Mobile Suit Gooch
Grundle: The Awakening
like that movie.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Who cares what she thinks lol. Never take anything someone this salty says to heart. She took a giant L and the best she can do is bitch about how no one wants to put up with her. She'll enjoy loneliness and you'll continue on with your life. Sounds like a good result to me.
Me personally, I have a huge friend zone problem.
I really like this girl (she's a gamer girl), but I just can't help but think that she just wants to be friends, while I want to be a little bit more.
Kinda like James and Elyse on Funhaus.
So I was reading this guide on getting out of the friend zone, and I feel like I learned a bit more on how to handle my problem.
One thing I learned was that I have to make myself more "desirable", whether it's through looks, value, status, etc.
I was wondering if anyone else had successfully got out of the friend zone and in the dating zone?
I really like this girl (she's a gamer girl), but I just can't help but think that she just wants to be friends, while I want to be a little bit more.
Kinda like James and Elyse on Funhaus.
So I was reading this guide on getting out of the friend zone, and I feel like I learned a bit more on how to handle my problem.
One thing I learned was that I have to make myself more "desirable", whether it's through looks, value, status, etc.
I was wondering if anyone else had successfully got out of the friend zone and in the dating zone?
First time posting in here and I feel like I need to vent since I don't have anybody to talk about this and I'm getting so anxious about it I think it's reaching unhealthy/sick levels in myself. There's this girl I meet on Tinder on June, she is 20, I'm 26. And to make the long story short, we have a big crush on each other.
We live on the same city and kinda close of each other but despite of that, we still haven't seen in person, yet we're always imagining that moment like "the big moment". She is very sweet and kind to me but unfortunately, she suffers from depression (just like me yay....) Sometimes we talk really nicely for hours and we're always praising and cheering up each other and I truly appreciate her words of enthusiasm, but then at the next day... like if everything positive I told her went to the trashcan.
She post depressive thoughts on FB, about how meh she feels with life overall, and the worst part is that she then ignores me for 4 or 5 days until she "reappears" only to tell me an excuse that she was mad busy with school. Then at the next morning she sends me a huge message telling me sorry and how much she likes me and stuff. I answer properly full of gratitude telling her how much I like her and I want to see her well and happy.
After that, we talk nicely again for hours and hours, we say goodbye and then boom! The same sequence I just wrote repeats all over again and it's been like that since we meet in June and I'm honestly getting REALLY tired of it. Just right now for example, it's been 3 days since the last time we talked, I send her several messages already wishing her all the best and all of them left on "seen"... I support it and praise her like no other and she seems to be grateful for it, but despite of that, she continues doing the same, and everytime I tell her to hang out to finally meet in person, she gives an excuse... I respect her decisions but I'm honestly getting really sick of this situation where nothing happens and nothing improves.
I've been really patient with her because I understand how she feels where sometimes you just don't want to talk to anybody and you want to be alone since I also suffer from depression, but after 6 months of the same situation, I think I'm done. I have anxiety attacks all the time due to my not-so-great lifestyle (currently working to fix that) and this situation it's only making things worse because I reached the point that everytime I think about her, instead of feeling happy and inspired, I feel even more anxious and it's starting to affect me physically and mentally. I can't concentrate at work, I can't sleep and overall I simply don't feel well anymore because I spend the whole day thinking about her on what I can do to truly let her know she desserves to be happy. I feel defeated because I've tried/told her everything and nothing improves after half a year.
What do you guys think? Should I end up this "relationship" and move forward? Or should I stick with her to see if things finally improve? I'm 50/50. I want to move forward because I'm mentally and physically tired of dealing with this, maybe it sounds a bit selfish but I can't help it since it's starting to affect my health due to the high amounts of anxiety it's giving me... but on the other hand, I also really like her and I would feel really shitty if I left her knowing she will still continue being depressive and I truly want to support her to help it get out of that depression. Sigh I don't know, I think I'm leaning more towards move forward because the worst part of all is that we're not even into a serious relationship yet! Just imagine if I make her my GF... but anyway, just wanted to get this off of my chest and I'm actually feeling a bit more relaxed now that I wrote aaaaaall of this. Huge thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. Y'all guys rock!
We live on the same city and kinda close of each other but despite of that, we still haven't seen in person, yet we're always imagining that moment like "the big moment". She is very sweet and kind to me but unfortunately, she suffers from depression (just like me yay....) Sometimes we talk really nicely for hours and we're always praising and cheering up each other and I truly appreciate her words of enthusiasm, but then at the next day... like if everything positive I told her went to the trashcan.
She post depressive thoughts on FB, about how meh she feels with life overall, and the worst part is that she then ignores me for 4 or 5 days until she "reappears" only to tell me an excuse that she was mad busy with school. Then at the next morning she sends me a huge message telling me sorry and how much she likes me and stuff. I answer properly full of gratitude telling her how much I like her and I want to see her well and happy.
After that, we talk nicely again for hours and hours, we say goodbye and then boom! The same sequence I just wrote repeats all over again and it's been like that since we meet in June and I'm honestly getting REALLY tired of it. Just right now for example, it's been 3 days since the last time we talked, I send her several messages already wishing her all the best and all of them left on "seen"... I support it and praise her like no other and she seems to be grateful for it, but despite of that, she continues doing the same, and everytime I tell her to hang out to finally meet in person, she gives an excuse... I respect her decisions but I'm honestly getting really sick of this situation where nothing happens and nothing improves.
I've been really patient with her because I understand how she feels where sometimes you just don't want to talk to anybody and you want to be alone since I also suffer from depression, but after 6 months of the same situation, I think I'm done. I have anxiety attacks all the time due to my not-so-great lifestyle (currently working to fix that) and this situation it's only making things worse because I reached the point that everytime I think about her, instead of feeling happy and inspired, I feel even more anxious and it's starting to affect me physically and mentally. I can't concentrate at work, I can't sleep and overall I simply don't feel well anymore because I spend the whole day thinking about her on what I can do to truly let her know she desserves to be happy. I feel defeated because I've tried/told her everything and nothing improves after half a year.
What do you guys think? Should I end up this "relationship" and move forward? Or should I stick with her to see if things finally improve? I'm 50/50. I want to move forward because I'm mentally and physically tired of dealing with this, maybe it sounds a bit selfish but I can't help it since it's starting to affect my health due to the high amounts of anxiety it's giving me... but on the other hand, I also really like her and I would feel really shitty if I left her knowing she will still continue being depressive and I truly want to support her to help it get out of that depression. Sigh I don't know, I think I'm leaning more towards move forward because the worst part of all is that we're not even into a serious relationship yet! Just imagine if I make her my GF... but anyway, just wanted to get this off of my chest and I'm actually feeling a bit more relaxed now that I wrote aaaaaall of this. Huge thanks to everyone who took the time to read this. Y'all guys rock!
Pattycakes
Banned
Why keep playing games with her? Just be upfront, honest and open with her about where you are at. Tell her the that you'd like to make things more serious, but that you have concerns X, Y and Z. If she doesn't adequately address your concerns or doesn't want to change the current dynamics of the relationship, move on. If she does, then congratulations you have yourself a (likely) girlfriend. Communication is key to any healthy and successful relationship, and it appears like the two of you need to have a frank conversation.
Have you actually told her how you feel? I'm feeling like you haven't actually told her, but drawing assumptions instead. Make it clear you're looking to pursue a relationship with her, that you have romantic or sexual feelings for her. If that isn't something that she wants to pursue, then you need to respect that. From there, your only options are to either remove her from your life if you can't deal with that (short term or long term) or remain friends SOLELY under the assumption that you will always ONLY be friends, nothing more. Don't remain her friend thinking she is going to change her mind in a month, year, or five years from now.
There's potentially two different scenarios at play here...the first, you're just friends, with you wanting to date her. Solution? Ask her out.
The second, you've asked her out, she doesn't say yes, and you remain just friends. If this happens, the proper move isn't to focus your time and energy in escaping the friend zone. If you're capable of being her friend (and I mean a true, not-waiting-for-booty friend), be her friend. If you're not, drop contact. In either case, pursue other women.
You should've dropped contact five months and two weeks ago. Straight up, end of story. You're invested in a girl before you have reason to.
I truly appreciate your advice, guys! And just like if I had invoked her, she finally got online and wrote me something right now. It's time to deal with this once and for all, hope things end up well for both. Will tell you here how it went!
timetokill
Banned
So, there's a girl I'm friends with in one of my classes and I'm crushing on her. However, if she said no, I'd still want to be her friend, and I'm mature enough to be able to shrug it off.
What are the chances it backfires on me and everything gets weird?
What are the chances it backfires on me and everything gets weird?
Pattycakes
Banned
If you're mature enough to shrug it off, it really only depends if she's mature enough to not let it impact the friendship or get weirded out, etc.
Count Dookkake
Member
There is no friend zone. You either take action or do not.
By taking action, you find out if she likes you or not. Either outcome is a good thing.
By not taking action, you poison yourself and any chance of happiness by being a liar. You don't really want her as a friend, but you are pretending to be a friend, always waiting for something more to magically happen. Don't do that.
Make your move and move on.
If you didn't have her fb profile, I'd suspect she was a dude or morbidly obese. Regardless, the situation is bogus. You'll never meet her. Cut your losses and move on. In the future, do not let meet-ups take more than a week, maybe 2 tops.
Today I went ice skating and these two girls were there. I left and one of them asked me for my number. Has never happened before . I was happy until she texted me and put me down. All hopes for nothing. She just wanted to fuck around with me. She used a texting app instead of real phone.
Made me sad, had hopes that it was real. But my bad luck continues.
Made me sad, had hopes that it was real. But my bad luck continues.
Count Dookkake
Member
That's really mean, but can you expand on the story, please? How the conversation started, what lead up to it, what was said, etc.
I suspect that there were signs that you should have been more skeptical.
I'm not saying that it would be your fault, but rather that with some clear thinking, you would not have been so vulnerable to a mean trick.
artsi
Member
You know what to do man, that's a start.
Now start doing it and you'll find out it's getting easier every time.
So I went ice skating for the first time ever and I was pretty good for a person that just started, so everybody else skating is either a kid or a parent except me and these girls.
They were struggling skating, so yeah they caught my eye. I was going to talk to them but didn't. So I left and sat down to put on my shoes and they decided to sit in the same bench next to me. So I decided to do some small talk. (ice skating was fun/ first time) made them laugh and that was all. Later I told them.
I left and was followed and asked for my number and I gave my number. So I would think that she liked me. But then she text me. But through a messaging app. That was what weird at first. She said stuff like, she didn't really like me and what not. Basically a bunch of shit that gave me a what the fuck is going on expression.
So yeah.. Had fun ice skating, saw some girls that I thought were interested in me but only wanted to fuck around with me. Bunch of nothing, they need to grow up.
Count Dookkake
Member
Well, shit. That's pretty effed up.
Good on you, though, for doing something new by yourself. Bonus points for actually being good at it.
Good on you, though, for doing something new by yourself. Bonus points for actually being good at it.
Messofanego
Banned
Dude, you've already won by blocking her. She's the one who's gonna feel like crap instead of provoking you to get a response. Dating someone younger doesn't automatically make you immature unless if she's a high schooler and you've been out of high school for 13 years lol.
So I met this really nice girl this fall quarter, we talk every now and then when we have class. We have a good time; she made business class bearable.
Today was the last day before winter break & we were both taking the same final. I wanted to muster all I had to ask for her number without sounding awkward after class but, I finished early and had to study for my next exam. I waited a few minutes out the hall, but when she exited the classroom she looked like she was in a hurry so I made a few silly comment about the test and said goodbye.
Disappointed, I left to study & take my math final. Hours later as I get ready to leave I noticed a slip on my windshield. I'm thinking "F*** it's either a ticket, or someone hit my car again"
It was a note from her with a phone number, I just smiled. That made my day.
Today was the last day before winter break & we were both taking the same final. I wanted to muster all I had to ask for her number without sounding awkward after class but, I finished early and had to study for my next exam. I waited a few minutes out the hall, but when she exited the classroom she looked like she was in a hurry so I made a few silly comment about the test and said goodbye.
Disappointed, I left to study & take my math final. Hours later as I get ready to leave I noticed a slip on my windshield. I'm thinking "F*** it's either a ticket, or someone hit my car again"
It was a note from her with a phone number, I just smiled. That made my day.
ZackieChan
Member
Armadilo,
How do you present yourself IRL? I remember you making a thread before about wanting to have your hood up and not smiling in a Thanksgiving photo. You also post a lot of vague stuff sometimes. Are you acting like that when you are out trying to meet girls? Or are you projecting confidence in the things you do?
Those girls are assholes, though. No doubt about that.
How do you present yourself IRL? I remember you making a thread before about wanting to have your hood up and not smiling in a Thanksgiving photo. You also post a lot of vague stuff sometimes. Are you acting like that when you are out trying to meet girls? Or are you projecting confidence in the things you do?
Those girls are assholes, though. No doubt about that.
artsi
Member
I'm getting better, today I had a job interview so I went skating in a job interview outfit . Tucked in shirt, I was having fun. I'm goofy, I like to smile and over the years I know how make myself laugh.
I look people in the eyes but I never say anything. Sometimes I want to say something but I don't. I have fear that when I bother a girl, I'm just being a creeper that's trying to hit on her. I need to just do it, even if I get turned down everytime. Need to lose that fear and accept rejection.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Clay Davis inspired me to go out with a cute redhead about 8 years younger than me. And I had a fantastic time; date 3's on Sunday. Let us all learn from his lesson.
It'll happen in time. "Be yourself" isn't always the best advice, but "don't be yourself" is unequivocally the worst. Once you're in a comfortable place with yourself, don't apologize for it.
Pasta_Soup
Member
Ask her out. It's that simple. If she says no, either put your feelings aside and embrace her as only a friend, or cut contact and move on.
The faster you act on your honest intentions, the better your results will be. Listen to Count Dookkake, he's spot on.
Dude, end this. This is the beginning of every episode of Catfish. She doesn't respect you or your time. But you continue to stay and interact with her because you're desperate to be with her. This will never turn into anything. If you can't get an in-person date within a couple of weeks, move on.
How much time and energy have you invested into this person? And how much more are you willing to give? No relationship should start on such a twisted note.
Mine does this from time to time.Girl sent me a sweet good morning and "have a nice day" message like 7 hours ago in the morning, but Whatsapp didn't notify me until I opened the damn app just now to send her a message.
Not my fault but feels bad I didn't see it in time.
It's a fucking nuisance.
ZackieChan
Member
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