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[Mr Solo Dolo]

Don't message her until after Christmas. If it fizzles out, it wasn't meant to be. If you're writing long ass messages to her one/two word replies, you need to stop that shit immediately and just go a few days without messaging her.

You don't have other shit you could be doing?

No no no, there's no long ass messages or anything like that. I'm just being my sarcastic witty self. One or two sentences max.

Like I say I've got no problem leaving things, I've left it for days, even weeks and I'm definitely not pining over her waiting and checking my phone for a response. It probably comes down to me being so used to having a back and forth conversation with my ex.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

No no no, there's no long ass messages or anything like that. I'm just being my sarcastic witty self. One or two sentences max.

Like I say I've got no problem leaving things, I've left it for days, even weeks and I'm definitely not pining over her waiting and checking my phone for a response. It probably comes down to me being so used to having a back and forth conversation with my ex.

Weeks?

How long have you been texting? Any planned meets that didn't go ahead?

 

[Mr Solo Dolo]

Weeks?

How long have you been texting? Any planned meets that didn't go ahead?

Like a couple?

First started talking the towards the end of last month. Conversation wasn't going anywhere so I left it. She then saw me round town last week, messaged me and we got talking again. Nope never had any dates lined up until I asked about going for a drink after Christmas.

 

[haveheart]

No no no, there's no long ass messages or anything like that. I'm just being my sarcastic witty self. One or two sentences max.

Like I say I've got no problem leaving things, I've left it for days, even weeks and I'm definitely not pining over her waiting and checking my phone for a response. It probably comes down to me being so used to having a back and forth conversation with my ex.

I might be in a similar situation. Went out with her two days ago. I think it went pretty well, we had a good time. But now I've good a bad feeling. She hasn't replied to my last text which was me telling her that I'm hoping to see her soon again.

Now she went home yesterday and the soonest I could see her again would be in roughly two weeks when she gets back.

Problem is: I'm so fucking into her since the first moment I saw her. It kills me that she hasn't texted me yet. My (female) friend recommended to write her on Christmas Eve the soonest.

I hate having feelings.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Like a couple?

First started talking the towards the end of last month. Conversation wasn't going anywhere so I left it. She then saw me round town last week, messaged me and we got talking again. Nope never had any dates lined up until I asked about going for a drink after Christmas.

Dont message her until after Christmas. (Maybe a merry christmas if you fancy) No point dragging out a convo that is going no where. Just message her after with a date and time and be done with it.

I might be in a similar situation. Went out with her two days ago. I think it went pretty well, we had a good time. But now I've good a bad feeling. She hasn't replied to my last text which was me telling her that I'm hoping to see her soon again.

Now she went home yesterday and the soonest I could see her again would be in roughly two weeks when she gets back.

Problem is: I'm so fucking into her since the first moment I saw her. It kills me that she hasn't texted me yet. My (female) friend recommended to write her on Christmas Eve the soonest.

I hate having feelings.

Just leave it be. Also reign in this falling for a girl at first site shit. It's just ridiculous.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Like a couple?

First started talking the towards the end of last month. Conversation wasn't going anywhere so I left it. She then saw me round town last week, messaged me and we got talking again. Nope never had any dates lined up until I asked about going for a drink after Christmas.

Ah. Yeah, leave it be until after Christmas. I'm curious though, any reason why you didn't arrange a pre Christmas drink?

I might be in a similar situation. Went out with her two days ago. I think it went pretty well, we had a good time. But now I've good a bad feeling. She hasn't replied to my last text which was me telling her that I'm hoping to see her soon again.

Now she went home yesterday and the soonest I could see her again would be in roughly two weeks when she gets back.

Problem is: I'm so fucking into her since the first moment I saw her. It kills me that she hasn't texted me yet. My (female) friend recommended to write her on Christmas Eve the soonest.

I hate having feelings.

Is this some fell in love at first sight shit? Jesus dude, reel it in. It's embarrassing. And why she hasn't replied. Maybe she's busy with Christmas, maybe she didn't feel the same way you didd, maybe she's gone home to be with her local guy she bangs every time she goes home.

You need to de-invest.

 

[Mr Solo Dolo]

Ah. Yeah, leave it be until after Christmas. I'm curious though, any reason why you didn't arrange a pre Christmas drink?

A combination of short noitce, me being busy during the run up to Christmas and feeling a bit under the weather.

I'm off work for 10 days from tomorrow so should have plenty of time to meet up with her straight after Christmas. I'm not waiting weeks before meeting up. I've made that mistake too often in the past.

 

[No_Style]

Just leave it be. Also reign in this falling for a girl at first site shit. It's just ridiculous.

Is this some fell in love at first sight shit? Jesus dude, reel it in. It's embarrassing.

You need to de-invest.

This isn't directed at me and I know better but sometimes I just need to read this kind of advice again for my own life.

Thank you both.

For the first time, I think I'm suffering from holiday blues. I also started a new job which is taking me longer to adjust than I anticipated which doesn't help. Then I hit it off with this girl from OKC and I'm tripping over myself not invest too much too quickly into this nonsense.

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

Astrology can work in your favor if the stars align, despite it being nonsense. Get it bro

I guess it's obvious that the next step is to get her number and ask for a date.

But still, I hope she isn't "just being nice" and is actually interested.

 

[ginger ninja]

Alright folks, some further advice needed. Everything went fine and I am going on a date with her this evening. Now confession time. I haven't been on actual date in almost three years. And the last time I did, the ending kind fucked everything up bad so I stopped trying for a while.

You see, I can talk to girls just fine and behave like a normal adult. However I have zero experience being physical with anyone because of the culture I grew up in. The date I had three years ago, it was good. When it was ending however, she leaned in for a kiss and although I knew it was coming, I kinda ruined it. Because I didn't knew how to respond and it become an awkward face hug.

She texted me the next day and asked what was that about, I came clean saying I haven't with anyone before so i am little inexperienced. She said she isn't ready for someone so inexperienced and ended thing. I was kinda bummed out but moved on soon enough.

So now my question about the date today is, should I be upfront like I was last time, telling her I may be a little in over my head when it comes to being physical or is it ok to just tell a little white lie and roll with it ? Like until when things get actually serious and we are about to get intimate. By a white lie I mean not open up just yet, until I have to.

I am leaning towards the latter. People don't look too kindly to virgins in their mid 20's these days, especially if you're male. For the record, I am not uncomfortable being physical, I just worry I might fuck it up again being inexperienced.

 

[Solo]

I wouldn't open things with your experience or lack thereof, but if you sense things are headed in an intimate direction, I'm thinking honesty is the best policy here.

But if she leans in for a kiss? Just kiss her. It's just a kiss. Don't overthink it.

 

[DeathoftheEndless]

Just kiss her, brah. Don't explain your inexperience. Try your best and it will hopefully be the first of many.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Solo is right.

Don't explain lack of experience over a kiss unless it's brought up, but do mention you're inexperienced when it comes to sex. You need to be honest and upfront about that so she can work with you and make it a pleasurable for you and for her.

Don't rush to tell her though, wait until you know things are headed in that direction before you say anything.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Alright folks, some further advice needed. Everything went fine and I am going on a date with her this evening. Now confession time. I haven't been on actual date in almost three years. And the last time I did, the ending kind fucked everything up bad so I stopped trying for a while.

You see, I can talk to girls just fine and behave like a normal adult. However I have zero experience being physical with anyone because of the culture I grew up in. The date I had three years ago, it was good. When it was ending however, she leaned in for a kiss and although I knew it was coming, I kinda ruined it. Because I didn't knew how to respond and it become an awkward face hug.

She texted me the next day and asked what was that about, I came clean saying I haven't with anyone before so i am little inexperienced. She said she isn't ready for someone so inexperienced and ended thing. I was kinda bummed out but moved on soon enough.

So now my question about the date today is, should I be upfront like I was last time, telling her I may be a little in over my head when it comes to being physical or is it ok to just tell a little white lie and roll with it ? Like until when things get actually serious and we are about to get intimate. By a white lie I mean not open up just yet, until I have to.

I am leaning towards the latter. People don't look too kindly to virgins in their mid 20's these days, especially if you're male. For the record, I am not uncomfortable being physical, I just worry I might fuck it up again being inexperienced.

:/

Just kiss her. And if you do it shitty just like accept it and like I dunno. Try again. Like you only get better by doing. Also its a date not a confession booth. Dont say shit about your level of experience.

If it's about to get intimate just roll with it. You only get experience by doing. So do. And another thing you should do is accept that sometimes things dont work out and that is nothing to stress about.

 

[Jhoan]

How was your year dating GAF?

Let's see I ghosted a bunch of girls; got ghosted by a bunch of girls in return; made out with a ton more girls than last year so it's a personal best for me; ended my year long dry spell in September with only to end up in another dry spell for three months and counting for reasons I'll never know; broke my personal record of seeing the same girl for 3 dates; opened my horizons and dated older women; dropped the ball on a sexual advance back in November; learned that I get slightly irritated dating women of a certain height and have a slight preference for taller women (a sign of things to come in the future); learned that I don't have the patience for shy women; learned that some women don't like to kiss on a first date; made some dumb mistakes.

All in all, despite being cynical, I'm a lot more experienced than I was this time last year. I learned a great deal about myself as well as things I like in women and things I don't like (impatient women). Also, dating women during the holidays is tough business if they're originally from out of town.

Alright folks, some further advice needed. Everything went fine and I am going on a date with her this evening. Now confession time. I haven't been on actual date in almost three years. And the last time I did, the ending kind fucked everything up bad so I stopped trying for a while.

You see, I can talk to girls just fine and behave like a normal adult. However I have zero experience being physical with anyone because of the culture I grew up in. The date I had three years ago, it was good. When it was ending however, she leaned in for a kiss and although I knew it was coming, I kinda ruined it. Because I didn't knew how to respond and it become an awkward face hug.

She texted me the next day and asked what was that about, I came clean saying I haven't with anyone before so i am little inexperienced. She said she isn't ready for someone so inexperienced and ended thing. I was kinda bummed out but moved on soon enough.

So now my question about the date today is, should I be upfront like I was last time, telling her I may be a little in over my head when it comes to being physical or is it ok to just tell a little white lie and roll with it ? Like until when things get actually serious and we are about to get intimate. By a white lie I mean not open up just yet, until I have to.

I am leaning towards the latter. People don't look too kindly to virgins in their mid 20's these days, especially if you're male. For the record, I am not uncomfortable being physical, I just worry I might fuck it up again being inexperienced.

Good luck man! That being said, don't be upfront about being inexperienced. That just looks so bad as you learned from your previous experience. It would be akin to a girl blurting out right before you make out that's she never kissed a person. I lost my virginity at 26 and never told the girl I was a virgin. It wasn't great but it was solid if a bit awkward.

To echo what everyone else said, don't overthink things. If you feel like making out, go for it and if she declines, then at least you tried. The more dates you go on, the more experience you get, the more you learn about yourself. Every date is different so it's best played by ear.

 

[misses bull]

How was your year dating GAF?

I asked one girl out and she said "id rather not"

10/10 great

 

[ZackieChan]

:/

Just kiss her. And if you do it shitty just like accept it and like I dunno. Try again. Like you only get better by doing. Also its a date not a confession booth. Dont say shit about your level of experience.

If it's about to get intimate just roll with it. You only get experience by doing. So do. And another thing you should do is accept that sometimes things dont work out and that is nothing to stress about.

This. Don't make it a big deal, but maybe watch some videos or practice on your hand or something. I dunno. You need to get some confidence in these matters, which only comes from doing it repeatedly.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

This. Don't make it a big deal, but maybe watch some videos or practice on your hand or something. I dunno. You need to get some confidence in these matters, which only comes from doing it repeatedly.

Keep in mind too that everyone likes different things. The bitchy Brazilian girl I dated told me I was the worst kisser she'd ever had. Nearly everyone else has had positive reviews. The Aya doppelganger I'm dating loves everything I do.

So, in other words? Just do it. Don't use your tongue as a spear. Don't slobber. It's really not hard.

 

[ZackieChan]

I take it slow, don't press too hard, mix things up. I bet Ms. Brazil was an awful kisser.

 

[Incendiary]

Had a dream about my ex last night. And it was a sexy dream too, which is gonna throw this day for a loop.

The weird thing is, it made me think about how happy I was when I was dating her and how I knew I liked her, while I'm still on the fence with the girl I'm currently seeing despite having been going out with her for nearly two months now. Girl I'm currently seeing reminds me too much of my first gf in too many of the bad ways and not enough of the good ways.

I enjoy being with her but there's still something missing - and I can't figure out if I'm self-sabotaging or if my gut knows something my brain hasn't caught onto yet. Hmm.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Had a dream about my ex last night. And it was a sexy dream too, which is gonna throw this day for a loop.

The weird thing is, it made me think about how happy I was when I was dating her and how I knew I liked her, while I'm still on the fence with the girl I'm currently seeing despite having been going out with her for nearly two months now. Girl I'm currently seeing reminds me too much of my first gf in too many of the bad ways and not enough of the good ways.

I enjoy being with her but there's still something missing - and I can't figure out if I'm self-sabotaging or if my gut knows something my brain hasn't caught onto yet. Hmm.

Dreams dont mean anything. Literally nothing. Just like forget it.

If you dont actually like the current girl just end it. Its one thing to enjoy someones company but if you are ho hum about it 2 months in that really doesnt bode well. This is supppose to be the period when there are literally no issues.

 

[names2hard4you]

I sometimes still dream about smoking cigarettes even though I quit over 3 years ago, with no plans of going back. Dreams are just that, fragments of memories stitched up in your head creating some kind of narrative. You can't place too much importance on them. Live in the now, in the real world.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I don't think you're self sabotaging but you clearly don't have deeper feelings for the person you're currently seeing, so you have a choice. Stick it out and maybe feelings will develop or break things off and get back out there.

And gut feelings. Eh. Approach it from a more rational and semi detached point of view. Ask yourself, if you were seeing someone and they didn't have feelings for you, would you appreciate being strung along because they only like your company and nothing else.

 

[Llyranor]

I had a sexy dream about Trump, so don't worry about it.

 

[NipplesAndToes23]

How was your year dating GAF?

Non-existent as usual.

 

[stn]

Alright folks, some further advice needed. Everything went fine and I am going on a date with her this evening. Now confession time. I haven't been on actual date in almost three years. And the last time I did, the ending kind fucked everything up bad so I stopped trying for a while.

You see, I can talk to girls just fine and behave like a normal adult. However I have zero experience being physical with anyone because of the culture I grew up in. The date I had three years ago, it was good. When it was ending however, she leaned in for a kiss and although I knew it was coming, I kinda ruined it. Because I didn't knew how to respond and it become an awkward face hug.

She texted me the next day and asked what was that about, I came clean saying I haven't with anyone before so i am little inexperienced. She said she isn't ready for someone so inexperienced and ended thing. I was kinda bummed out but moved on soon enough.

So now my question about the date today is, should I be upfront like I was last time, telling her I may be a little in over my head when it comes to being physical or is it ok to just tell a little white lie and roll with it ? Like until when things get actually serious and we are about to get intimate. By a white lie I mean not open up just yet, until I have to.

I am leaning towards the latter. People don't look too kindly to virgins in their mid 20's these days, especially if you're male. For the record, I am not uncomfortable being physical, I just worry I might fuck it up again being inexperienced.

Don't admit anything, just roll with it. Also, move slow and keep her as close as possible to your body. Heck, grab some ass if its getting really intimate. Just be confident and do what your gut tells you. But don't have any melodramatic moments where you open up to her to admit that you're inexperienced. That will kill her mood if anything.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I had a sexy dream about Trump, so don't worry about it.

Yeah, gonna need details.

 

[ZackieChan]

Honestly, until you're seriously dating, I wouldn't do any serious opening up. Unless it's a serious deal breaker, which this is not.

 

[Llyranor]

I did it, bruh!

I got her name (she asked for mine too) and chatted a little bit.

Well, okay not much cause she had to go in, but still. We're the same age and she asked me when's my birthday. She did that astrology shit with the signs but whatever, no dealbreaker.


Was a nice exchange not sure if she would go for me but still...she seems pretty down to earth...Kinda up my alley.

Spoiler

I sent this to gaiages.

I guess it's obvious that the next step is to get her number and ask for a date.

But still, I hope she isn't "just being nice" and is actually interested.

So this is the girl from work?

Bear in mind, so far this has just been friendly introductions and small talk. Don't mistake this for interest, especially since we're talking about coworkers.

Yeah, gonna need details.

It was just a defusing joke to make it not sound like a big deal. And now this is going to look like backpedalling!

But don't have any melodramatic moments where you open up to her to admit that you're inexperienced. That will kill her mood if anything.

Yup. It's the insecurity about the inexperience that kills the mood rather than the inexperience itself, I would say.

 

[ginger ninja]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

The date went alright, she was cute and I had a good time but there isn't going to be another one. Supposedly we have a lot of ideological difference.

I know Gaf is gonna rile that why I went to political topics anyway on a first date anyway, but she worked on Hillary's campaign so you tell me how I would dodge the subject. Politics and cultural topics was basically what we have been talking about since day one and she was VERY into it. I mean I asked her about her hobbies and somehow we still ended up talking politics. We agreed on most things since I am liberal too but she was one of those extreme liberal elites, in her own words and she's said there's nothing wrong with being the elite. So she was perfectly fine with discussing this and I don't think it was this that turned her off.

I think in the end it was this: She had a SERIOUS problem with me being in the Army. Like she kept bringing it up again and again how it doesn't make sense for a guy with good career prospects to end up in the military. At one point she even said how can you love this country so much when you weren't even born here and she could never think of a cause worthy enough to die for.. I tried my best to explain that there's a lot of reasons I joined the service and I am content with being a solider but she kept saying it doesn't make sense. Basically looking down upon the whole thing.


I love what I do bros. May be it is hard for folks to understand that there might be things others would be willing to put everything on the line for, but yes, having actually lived in the third world, I know that even after all the shit that happened this year, how fucking great this country is.

I take great pride and honor in what I do and I wouldn't change it for anything. So even though it feels a little bad, probably for the best that this didn't work out.

I hope Gaf is ok with me venting a bit. Not much folks around to talk about this and not be judged. Thanks y'all.

P.S at one point there was a guy playing thr guitar on the subway platform and he was good. I said I feel like music is the projection of the human soul. And she went on a tangent how souls aren't real. I was rolling my eyes so hard. No shit they aren't real, it's a metaphor.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

You're a goddamn tease, Lly. I lit the candles and warmed up the oil for nothing.

I won't forget this.

 

[The Cretan]

So, I just said to the girl I like (I texted her) that I like her and I want to go on a date with her. I felt very nervous before doing that, I feel a bit nervous now. However, I think what I did was for the best. Was there a better way asking her out? Note that I can't see her, she's in her home for Christmas. Also, any tip for the nervousness will be much appreciated.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Thanks for the advice everyone.

The date went alright, she was cute and I had a good time but there isn't going to be another one. Supposedly we have a lot of ideological difference.

I know Gaf is gonna rile that why I went to political topics anyway on a first date anyway, but she worked on Hillary's campaign so you tell me how I would dodge the subject. Politics and cultural topics was basically what we have been talking about since day one and she was VERY into it. I mean I asked her about her hobbies and somehow we still ended up talking politics. We agreed on most things since I am liberal too but she was one of those extreme liberal elites, in her own words and she's said there's nothing wrong with being the elite. So she was perfectly fine with discussing this and I don't think it was this that turned her off.

I think in the end it was this: She had a SERIOUS problem with me being in the Army. Like she kept bringing it up again and again how it doesn't make sense for a guy with good career prospects to end up in the military. At one point she even said how can you love this country so much when you weren't even born here and she could never think of a cause worthy enough to die for.. I tried my best to explain that there's a lot of reasons I joined the service and I am content with being a solider but she kept saying it doesn't make sense. Basically looking down upon the whole thing.


I love what I do bros. May be it is hard for folks to understand that there might be things others would be willing to put everything on the line for, but yes, having actually lived in the third world, I know that even after all the shit that happened this year, how fucking great this country is.

I take great pride and honor in what I do and I wouldn't change it for anything. So even though it feels a little bad, probably for the best that this didn't work out.

I hope Gaf is ok with me venting a bit. Not much folks around to talk about this and not be judged. Thanks y'all.

P.S at one point there was a guy playing thr guitar on the subway platform and he was good. I said I feel like music is the projection of the human soul. And she went on a tangent how souls aren't real. I was rolling my eyes so hard. No shit they aren't real, it's a metaphor.

Sounds like the girl I dated in November, right down to the anti-military bias. You dodged a bullet.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

So, I just said to the girl I like (I texted her) that I like her and I want to go on a date with her. I felt very nervous before doing that, I feel a bit nervous now. However, I think what I did was for the best. Was there a better way asking her out? Note that I can't see her, she's in her home for Christmas. Also, any tip for the nervousness will be much appreciated.

Few questions. Age, how long have you both been talking and where did you meet?

I think it's better than nothing, you probably could have done it in person but some people prefer doing via text as it takes some pressure away, helps with anxiety/nervousness and allows the other person some time to think things through.

 

[The Cretan]

Few questions. Age, how long have you both been talking and where did you meet?

I think it's better than nothing, you probably could have done it in person but some people prefer doing via text as it takes some pressure away, helps with anxiety/nervousness and allows the other person some time to think things through.

I'm 22 (I have never had a girlfriend, though). We know each other for 1.5 or 2 months. I hanged out with a friend for drinks and she came with us, because my friend invited her. This is the first time I got to know her, before that we had met, but it was brief and we hadn't met many times.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

I'm 22 (I have never had a girlfriend, though). We know each other for 1.5 or 2 months. I hanged out with a friend for drinks and she came with us, because my friend invited her. This is the first time I got to know her, before that we had met, but it was brief and we hadn't met many times.

Hmm. So she's the first girl you've asked out?

I think you did good, just don't expect too much and if she says yes, don't start bombarding her with messages, etc. Set a date/time and keep loosely in touch until the actual date.

You got past the main hurdle most stumble with, you asked her out. So now it's the waiting game. Could go either way. Good luck.

 

[The Cretan]

Hmm. So she's the first girl you've asked out?

I think you did good, just don't expect too much and if she says yes, don't start bombarding her with messages, etc. Set a date/time and keep loosely in touch until the actual date.

You got past the main obstacle most stumble with, you asked her out. So now it's the waiting game. Could go either way. Good luck.

No, she's the third girl.

 

[ginger ninja]

Sounds like the girl I dated in November, right down to the anti-military bias. You dodged a bullet.

Well this was in NYC. Its illuminating how some liberals call for tolerance and open-minded towards all people and ideas, until they come cross something they don't agree with and suddenly it's all black and white. At one point she said she doesn't feel any loyalty towards this country and she was a part of the Hillary campaign. Such is the state of things.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I'm 22 (I have never had a girlfriend, though). We know each other for 1.5 or 2 months. I hanged out with a friend for drinks and she came with us, because my friend invited her. This is the first time I got to know her, before that we had met, but it was brief and we hadn't met many times.

Overall I would say yeah ya done well

Wait and see now. Play it low key

 

[Mobile Suit Gooch]

So this is the girl from work?

Bear in mind, so far this has just been friendly introductions and small talk. Don't mistake this for interest, especially since we're talking about coworkers.

Damn.

Looks like I'm back to square one. I'll keep the small talk and keep it moving. Since I don't see her that often, it'll make that easier.

 

[ZackieChan]

No, she's the third girl.

Ask someone else out in the meantime

Damn.

Looks like I'm back to square one. I'll keep the small talk and keep it moving. Since I don't see her that often, it'll make that easier.

Ask someone else out in the meantime

 

[Will the Thrill]

I feel like while this was the first year I actually tried and did get to go out on a decent amount of dates (From 0 every year before) It has just lead me to feeling like "Well no one has liked you so far, why is anyone going to from here on"

It certainly isn't helping my brain that the only people I'm matching with recently are people home for the holidays and going to a college 2+ hours away. So no one is really even interested in going out on a date.

I think I need to just stop in general for now, take a step back and focus on other stuff. Mentally I'm starting to feel rough again.

 

[TimeEffect]

I feel like while this was the first year I actually tried and did get to go out on a decent amount of dates (From 0 every year before) It has just lead me to feeling like "Well no one has liked you so far, why is anyone going to from here on"

It certainly isn't helping my brain that the only people I'm matching with recently are people home for the holidays and going to a college 2+ hours away. So no one is really even interested in going out on a date.

I think I need to just stop in general for now, take a step back and focus on other stuff. Mentally I'm starting to feel rough again.

Hey man, you're making good progress.

Ive been using this thing for like 1+ years and only went on one date.

Some I really wanted to meet but ended up ghosting me (I wouldn't have been prepared for them anyway, I feel too inexperienced) and others Ive just let the conversations die out because I was too unmotivated/nervous/lazy to plan something.

Truth is, Im just not motivated, even with those who ghosted me, in the off chance that they were willing to see me

Now Im finding that I have less and less matches and I feel so lost. I cant even seem to start a good convo and feel like its too competitive for me to try and get a word in or a convo started.

 

[The Cretan]

Update: She's still in love with her ex-boyfriend. Damn.

 

[tearsofash]

This is my tinder profile. I've used to get over 1000 dates.

 

[Messofanego]

Alright folks, some further advice needed. Everything went fine and I am going on a date with her this evening. Now confession time. I haven't been on actual date in almost three years. And the last time I did, the ending kind fucked everything up bad so I stopped trying for a while.

You see, I can talk to girls just fine and behave like a normal adult. However I have zero experience being physical with anyone because of the culture I grew up in. The date I had three years ago, it was good. When it was ending however, she leaned in for a kiss and although I knew it was coming, I kinda ruined it. Because I didn't knew how to respond and it become an awkward face hug.

She texted me the next day and asked what was that about, I came clean saying I haven't with anyone before so i am little inexperienced. She said she isn't ready for someone so inexperienced and ended thing. I was kinda bummed out but moved on soon enough.

So now my question about the date today is, should I be upfront like I was last time, telling her I may be a little in over my head when it comes to being physical or is it ok to just tell a little white lie and roll with it ? Like until when things get actually serious and we are about to get intimate. By a white lie I mean not open up just yet, until I have to.

I am leaning towards the latter. People don't look too kindly to virgins in their mid 20's these days, especially if you're male. For the record, I am not uncomfortable being physical, I just worry I might fuck it up again being inexperienced.

Yo, you went for the facehug? Hardcore.

 

[ginger ninja]

Yo, you went for the facehug? Hardcore.

why you gotta kick a man when he's down fam ?

 

[gaiages]

This is my tinder profile. I've used to get over 1000 dates.

I'm sure you're joking

You're joking right

 

[Ashby]

Well dudes I got laid last night. 2 weeks to the day that I got dumped. Feel pretty good about that!

 

[SmackDaddy]

I am leaning towards the latter. People don't look too kindly to virgins in their mid 20's these days, especially if you're male. For the record, I am not uncomfortable being physical, I just worry I might fuck it up again being inexperienced.

You need to channel your energy from "I hope I don't fuck this up!" To "oh boy I can't wait for this to happen!"

And with it will come confidence, a goal, and a plan.