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[Etrian Oddity]

Taking a straight 10 out to a party tonight. She agreed to come w me even though she won't know anyone there. I'm assuming this is a date.

I mean if a guy and a girl enter a party together, you just assume they have 'something' going on right?

Gaf?

Gotta be upfront. She needs to know if there are romantic undertones.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Taking a straight 10 out to a party tonight. She agreed to come w me even though she won't know anyone there. I'm assuming this is a date.

I mean if a guy and a girl enter a party together, you just assume they have 'something' going on right?

Gaf?

Not necessarily.

Not necessarily.

Got a date for tomorrow. This one isn't much of a texter, which means we didn't have pointless banter the week leading to tomorrow, so that was awesome lol. Considering how I have been so busy because of a new job, it was well appreciated. We'll see how it goes. I'll let y'all know.

Me and The Girl talked so much over text the last four days I'm freaking out about having nothing to talk about on Sunday when I meet her for coffee.

When you ask a girl to coffee, that's specifically a date, right? I don't have to say "This is a date."

I'm sorry, I'm freaking out. I've only talked to her a few days, but I really dig her.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Not necessarily.



Me and The Girl talked so much over text the last four days I'm freaking out about having nothing to talk about on Sunday when I meet her for coffee.

When you ask a girl to coffee, that's specifically a date, right? I don't have to say "This is a date."

I'm sorry, I'm freaking out. I've only talked to her a few days, but I really dig her.

You need to use the word "date," in my experience. Even if it's something you casually slip in. Otherwise you're just a buddy to meet up with.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

You need to use the word "date," in my experience. Even if it's something you casually slip in. Otherwise you're just a buddy to meet up with.

Not really. It depends where you "meet." If it's Tinder, then it's implicitly a date. If it's some random grad school class, then it could be anything.

Oh, and... coffee? Really? Meet people for a drink, not coffee. Coffee is in that limbo zone. If you ask someone out for a drink in the evening, then it's in that date-ish zone where you don't need to worry about intentions.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Not necessarily.



Me and The Girl talked so much over text the last four days I'm freaking out about having nothing to talk about on Sunday when I meet her for coffee.

When you ask a girl to coffee, that's specifically a date, right? I don't have to say "This is a date."

I'm sorry, I'm freaking out. I've only talked to her a few days, but I really dig her.

Assuming the coffee goes well, say "do you want to date again next week?" Something like that. Next time ask for a coffee date so it's clear what your intentions are.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Assuming the coffee goes well, say "do you want to date again next week?" Something like that. Next time ask for a coffee date so it's clear what your intentions are.

Never, ever say "do you want to date again?" ... like, ever. And, there ought never be a planned coffee date anyway, unless you've met someone and it's 10am and you've got time to kill before lunch.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

You need to use the word "date," in my experience. Even if it's something you casually slip in. Otherwise you're just a buddy to meet up with.

Yeah, I didn't say date. We talked for a couple days and I didn't wanna lose my nerve so I asked if she wanted to do coffee on the weekend. I was pretty busy Saturday, so Sunday worked for both of us.

I dunno if she thinks it's a date or not. My friend said have low expectations and I'm already psyching myself out.

Assuming the coffee goes well, say "do you want to date again next week?" Something like that. Next time ask for a coffee date so it's clear what your intentions are.

Yeah, maybe I should somehow slip it in. Dunno how to do it well. I'd just message or call her later and say I had fun and ask if she's down to hang later in the week.

Not really. It depends where you "meet." If it's Tinder, then it's implicitly a date. If it's some random grad school class, then it could be anything.

Oh, and... coffee? Really? Meet people for a drink, not coffee.

Met her on POF. I didn't wanna be too forward to ask for a drink since she isn't a big drinker.

We've talked everyday, and so far it's been:

70% snark
20% getting to know each other
10% serious real things about our lives

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Yeah, I didn't say date. We talked for a couple days and I didn't wanna lose my nerve so I asked if she wanted to do coffee on the weekend. I was pretty busy Saturday, so Sunday worked for both of us.

I dunno if she thinks it's a date or not. My friend said have low expectations and I'm already psyching myself out.



Yeah, maybe I should somehow slip it in. Dunno how to do it well. I'd just message or call her later and say I had fun and ask if she's down to hang later in the week.



Met her on POF. I didn't wanna be too forward to ask for a drink since she isn't a big drinker.

We've talked everyday, and so far it's been:

70% snark
20% getting to know each other
10% serious real things about our lives

You met on a dating site. It's a date. Stop worrying.

 

[Horse Detective]

Not necessarily.



Me and The Girl talked so much over text the last four days I'm freaking out about having nothing to talk about on Sunday when I meet her for coffee.

When you ask a girl to coffee, that's specifically a date, right? I don't have to say "This is a date."

I'm sorry, I'm freaking out. I've only talked to her a few days, but I really dig her.

I don't think it makes much a difference how you specify what the occasion is.

The thought will cross her mind regardless of if she is for it or not. I would just spend time together and see how it develops. I think she will figure out pretty early on if she is into you, so just try to read signs?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

You met on a dating site. It's a date. Stop worrying.

I don't think it makes much a difference how you specify what the occasion is.

The thought will cross her mind regardless of if she is for it or not. I would just spend time together and see how it develops. I think she will figure out pretty early on if she is into you, so just try to read signs?

Sorry for being so nervous, I haven't been on a date in months and this is the first girl I've liked this much in a long time, and it's only been a couple days. I feel awkward.

I think I've just gotten way too invested and she's somehow gotten under my skin.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Yeah, maybe I should somehow slip it in. Dunno how to do it well. I'd just message or call her later and say I had fun and ask if she's down to hang later in the week.

Advice for everyone as you've already mentioned you met on POF. No, not "hang", "date" clear as that becuse if she doesn't want to date you then you are wasting your time. No hidden intentions, no friend zone.

 

[Horse Detective]

Sorry for being so nervous, I haven't been on a date in months and this is the first girl I've liked this much in a long time, and it's only been a couple days. I feel awkward.

I think I've just gotten way too invested and she's somehow gotten under my skin.

Keep expectations in check, but remain hopefully optimistic.

I only disagree with people saying to clarify it as a date because I think it is slightly awkward. If shes into you, you should be able to tell. Plus its not like she is waiting for your go ahead.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Sorry for being so nervous, I haven't been on a date in months and this is the first girl I've liked this much in a long time, and it's only been a couple days. I feel awkward.

I think I've just gotten way too invested and she's somehow gotten under my skin.

You've not met her. There's a nontrivial possibility that you two have nothing in common. Or, maybe things might be as good as you suspect. You've got a realistic ceiling and floor now.

Proceed accordingly.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Advice for everyone as you've already mentioned you met on POF. No, not "hang", "date" clear as that becuse if she doesn't want to date you then you are wasting your time. No hidden intentions, no friend zone.

But... why else would we go out and hang together if it wasn't a date.

Then again, she messaged me out of the blue. Maybe there's a deeper game here.

Keep expectations in check, but remain hopefully optimistic.

I only disagree with people saying to clarify it as a date because I think it is slightly awkward. If shes into you, you should be able to tell. Plus its not like she is waiting for your go ahead.

Yeah, I think I'll be able to tell if she's into it or not.

You've not met her. There's a nontrivial possibility that you two have nothing in common. Or, maybe things might be as good as you suspect. You've got a realistic ceiling and floor now.

Proceed accordingly.

:/

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Her reasons for breaking up were she hadn't been happy for a while and things had become more of a routine.

I could be wrong, but it sounds like she doesn't have much of a life outside of the relationship. Someone who cries when they don't get to see you literally every day is too clingy. That and her lack of effort when it comes to trying new stuff and working out your problems makes me think you're better off without her.

I tend to agree. I think you avoided a lot of hassle in the long term. Probably doesn't mean much right now, but someone who behaves the way she was behaving...yeah, you don't need to become too invested with someone like that. It's a life of nightmares.

Sorry for being so nervous, I haven't been on a date in months and this is the first girl I've liked this much in a long time, and it's only been a couple days. I feel awkward.

I think I've just gotten way too invested and she's somehow gotten under my skin.

Sounds super healthy. What will you do if it doesn't work out when you meet? What if she's a completely different person to the one you've gotten to know via text?

Try to take a step back and de-invest. I mean, what the hell have you been doing/talking about where she's already under your skin?

 

[Mr Solo Dolo]

I could be wrong, but it sounds like she doesn't have much of a life outside of the relationship. Someone who cries when they don't get to see you literally every day is too clingy. That and her lack of effort when it comes to trying new stuff and working out your problems makes me think you're better off without her.

When I think about it she actually didn't. I can count on one hand the amount of times she had a night out during our relationship, and they were always with her sister. I know she's burned a lot of bridges with some friends and her best friend that she 'platonically' (that's a whole other can of worms) love's isn't always around or doesn't want to see her as much as she does.

I knew she was joking but when I did make plans to see my friends she would say stuff like "Oh so you don't love me. You don't want to be with me yeah?" as if she was trying to make me feel guilty for having a life outside of the relationship.

Yeah she is very clingy and tbh I can see her new relationship going the same way ours did. She just doesn't know how to be alone.

 

[Scotch]

When I think about it she actually didn't. I can count on one hand the amount of times she had a night out during our relationship, and they were always with her sister. I know she's burned a lot of bridges with some friends and her best friend that she 'platonically' (that's a whole other can of worms) love's isn't always around or doesn't want to see her as much as she does.

I knew she was joking but when I did make plans to see my friends she would say stuff like "Oh so you don't love me. You don't want to be with me yeah?" as if she was trying to make me feel guilty for having a life outside of the relationship.

Yeah she is very clingy and tbh I can see her new relationship going the same way ours did. She just doesn't know how to be alone.

Uhh, yeah... you're better off without her. Hell, she did you a favor, and she's that other guy's problem now.

I'm sure she had some good qualities, but all I'm reading are red flags after red flags. Clinginess like that is toxic, and she's unlikely to ever change.

Forget her, and get back out there.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

When I think about it she actually didn't. I can count on one hand the amount of times she had a night out during our relationship, and they were always with her sister. I know she's burned a lot of bridges with some friends and her best friend that she 'platonically' (that's a whole other can of worms) love's isn't always around or doesn't want to see her as much as she does.

I knew she was joking but when I did make plans to see my friends she would say stuff like "Oh so you don't love me. You don't want to be with me yeah?" as if she was trying to make me feel guilty for having a life outside of the relationship.

Yeah she is very clingy and tbh I can see her new relationship going the same way ours did. She just doesn't know how to be alone.

Um, she wasn't joking and she was trying to make you feel guilty. This is eerily similar to another story that was posted here a few weeks ago, but that guy broke up with her because of her behaviour.

 

[Blackquill]

Ok so I have a girl I just met on Tinder like yesterday and unlike others she is VERY insisting. She already wants to meet up tomorrow evening, first she wanted to meet with me home but I said they are too many people home so I can't, now she wants to meet at a hotel in the city center. She's good looking but not particuraly extremely attractive (so she does not look fake) and she is a student that comes from very far (philippines). Also she asks me for selfies a lot, I gave her only one but that's it (she finds me very handsome). I feel like it's too good to be true, there is something odd in there, am i imagining things ?

 

[names2hard4you]

But... why else would we go out and hang together if it wasn't a date.

Then again, she messaged me out of the blue. Maybe there's a deeper game here.

Yeah, I think I'll be able to tell if she's into it or not.

:/

You need to relax, it's nice that you are eager to meet this person and I'm sure you are happy that you got yourself a date. I think everyone is happy when they do. However, I'm noticing that you are way too nervous already and this is only your first meeting. You have never met in person, so this "digging her a lot" is you digging a projected image on to her texts and photos. Again, nothing wrong to be happy about going out with her, but chances are that the person you are going to meet will not align with your expectations. This is why I choose to not judge a person by their texting before meeting first.

Ok so I have a girl I just met on Tinder like yesterday and unlike others she is VERY insisting. She already wants to meet up tomorrow evening, first she wanted to meet with me home but I said they are too many people home so I can't, now she wants to meet at a hotel in the city center. She's good looking but not particuraly extremely attractive (so she does not look fake) and she is a student that comes from very far (philippines). Also she asks me for selfies a lot, I gave her only one but that's it (she finds me very handsome). I feel like it's too good to be true, there is something odd in there, am i imagining things ?

Sounds a bit strange and even annoying to some level. But I mean, you are meeting in a public place for what I assume can only be one thing, and one thing only (a hotel? Whew lad) , so you may as well go and see how things go. If your gut tells you not to, follow that instinct. You haven't met in person yet, so you don't know her at all.

 

[Blackquill]

Yeah at least I will go there but I just feel like there is something fishy, now she even asks me to have a photo of my chest wtf

 

[Scotch]

Yeah at least I will go there but I just feel like there is something fishy, now she even asks me to have a photo of my chest wtf

Bring condoms 😏

 

[gaiages]

Yeah at least I will go there but I just feel like there is something fishy, now she even asks me to have a photo of my chest wtf

She wants to bang bro that's about it

Just make sure to tell someone else where you are on the off chance that she might try and steal your kidneys

 

[Mr Solo Dolo]

Uhh, yeah... you're better off without her. Hell, she did you a favor, and she's that other guy's problem now.

I'm sure she had some good qualities, but all I'm reading are red flags after red flags. Clinginess like that is toxic, and she's unlikely to ever change.

Forget her, and get back out there.

Um, she wasn't joking and she was trying to make you feel guilty. This is eerily similar to another story that was posted here a few weeks ago, but that guy broke up with her because of her behaviour.

The tone she said it in never made me think she was being serious and tbf she never complained when I did make other plans, but yeah saying that kinda stuff is something she should picked up on at the time.

Same goes with the clinginess, at the time I took at as how much she cared for me and wanted to be with me. Like you say it's the new guys problem now.

 

[names2hard4you]

I often find that break ups just happen because the other party fell out of the relationship. Not because of anything the other person did, but especially after it becomes routine. Grass is always greener on the other side and all. It's easier to give some kind of excuse for a break up than to just say you did it just because. Don't blame yourself, things like these happen. You seem to be doing pretty well for yourself and aren't moping so that's already a huge step forward. Keep that head up and do you, one day she will realize that the grass was always green where she was standing, but it'll be too late.

 

[TimeEffect]

Girl I never met wants to go to a club. Im not a club guy, and I just cant fathom spending the night buying drinks, even though it all sounds promising as she's dropping obvious hints.

But I'm a "let's just get coffee" kind of person, and she's some young uni student who goes out drinking every Friday night. I feel like such a bore lol

Edit: well she wants to go on a proper date first, which is good. Now I just have to haul my ass down to see her, as she's in the city and Im just outside of it. things are going well.

 

[LNBL]

I'm so stupid. Was honestly doing fine in the last week. Saw on social media that my ex was in the hospital because of fainting, so i text her and ask if she is ok. End up in the same shitty position as before where i receive these apathetic responses a day later. So angry at myself for even texting her in the first place, but at the same time it's a good reminder that I deserve so much more than that shit.

 

[The Power Of Snap]

Well that was a strange date.

I'm seeing this girl and last night was the fourth date. It was the first time since the Christmas vacations that we saw each other. I had a small gift for her (wine). When i gave her the gift she was super happy, but things went very strange for a moment. She told me she really likes me, loves having a good time with me but she then asked me what would happen if we were just friends. I told her I'm not the kind of guy that date girls that are friends. She was a bit surprised by my answer from her reaction.

But, after that, there was lots of kissing sessions...

Did she tried to friend-zone me? Did i get out alive?

I have another date this week with her. Gonna me honest, when she told me about the friends thing, it was like i got punched in the gut lol.

edit: I know she wasn't seeing someone else during the vacations...

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Well that was a strange date.

I'm seeing this girl and last night was the fourth date. It was the first time since the Christmas vacations that we saw each other. I had a small gift for her (wine). When i gave her the gift she was super happy, but things went very strange for a moment. She told me she really likes me, loves having a good time with me but she then asked me what would happen if we were just friends. I told her I'm not the kind of guy that date girls that are friends. She was a bit surprised by my answer from her reaction.

But, after that, there was lots of kissing sessions...

Did she tried to friend-zone me? Did i get out alive?

I have another date this week with her. Gonna me honest, when she told me about the friends thing, it was like i got punched in the gut lol.

edit: I know she wasn't seeing someone else during the vacations...

This is weird.

It could be her way of preparing you for a "let's just be friends" talk. Or it could be her way of trying to gauge your investment. Your response, by the way, was perfect. You successfully communicated your wishes.

But now we're on GAF! So, stop worrying about what she wants and continue worrying about what you want. For instance, if you want to be exclusive with her, say it.

"I like you, Anna, and I want to date you. I don't really want to see anyone else."

You'll have your answer.

Girl I never met wants to go to a club. Im not a club guy, and I just cant fathom spending the night buying drinks, even though it all sounds promising as she's dropping obvious hints.

But I'm a "let's just get coffee" kind of person, and she's some young uni student who goes out drinking every Friday night. I feel like such a bore lol

Edit: well she wants to go on a proper date first, which is good. Now I just have to haul my ass down to see her, as she's in the city and Im just outside of it. things are going well.

Enjoy! And maybe consider going to the club with her. You might have fun.

But... why else would we go out and hang together if it wasn't a date.

Then again, she messaged me out of the blue. Maybe there's a deeper game here.

Yeah, I think I'll be able to tell if she's into it or not.

:/

Dude. It's a date. Stop overthinking it. There's no game. (Now you're reading hidden meaning into what we're posting in this thread!) Stop texting her. Stop waiting for her replies.

Set a time and location. Confirm the day of. Meet her and see what happens.

There's no game.

 

[Tsukumo]

Well that was a strange date.

I'm seeing this girl and last night was the fourth date. It was the first time since the Christmas vacations that we saw each other. I had a small gift for her (wine). When i gave her the gift she was super happy, but things went very strange for a moment. She told me she really likes me, loves having a good time with me but she then asked me what would happen if we were just friends. I told her I'm not the kind of guy that date girls that are friends. She was a bit surprised by my answer from her reaction.

But, after that, there was lots of kissing sessions...

Did she tried to friend-zone me? Did i get out alive?

I have another date this week with her. Gonna me honest, when she told me about the friends thing, it was like i got punched in the gut lol.

edit: I know she wasn't seeing someone else during the vacations...

Did you ever kiss her before she "gut-punched" you? If not, that question was meant to ask you "it's the fourth date, you bring presents yet not even one kiss?".
If you already kissed her in previous dates, then she meant that you have to speed things up in the physical department. She was basically telling you that by not making any move on her she is starting to feel like she likes you more than you like her.
A girl who was seeing someone else wouldn't give you this sort of ultimatum. She would just wait around to see what you do, because she would have time on her side.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Did you ever kiss her before she "gut-punched" you? If not, that question was meant to ask you "it's the fouth date, you bring presents yet not even one kiss?".
If you already kissed her in previous dates, then she meant that you have to speed things up in the physical department. She was basically telling you that by not making any move on her she is starting to feel like she likes you more than you like her.
A girl who was seeing someone else wouldn't give you this sort of ultimatum. She would just wait around to see what you do, because she would have time on her side.

I actually agree with this 100%. (I don't know -- if you don't kiss on the first date, it's time to move on, but that's just me.)

 

[names2hard4you]

Welp tonight's date flaked. Very apologetic, something about a family member that got hurt, blah blah. I didn't ask for the details but she kept giving them saying she didn't want me to think I got blown off. She didn't suggest a time for another date so it's time to move on to the next one.

 

[The Power Of Snap]

Did you ever kiss her before she "gut-punched" you? If not, that question was meant to ask you "it's the fourth date, you bring presents yet not even one kiss?".
If you already kissed her in previous dates, then she meant that you have to speed things up in the physical department. She was basically telling you that by not making any move on her she is starting to feel like she likes you more than you like her.
A girl who was seeing someone else wouldn't give you this sort of ultimatum. She would just wait around to see what you do, because she would have time on her side.

I think you're 100% right. We kissed the first date, but didn't in the others... I know i did mistakes with those dates. Well, i think i did the right thing yesterday.

 

[Silvard]

So tonight I'm seeing a girl (woman? I don't know at my age) I know from college that I haven't seen in over 10 years. We flirted a bit way back when but we never really had anything. She reached out to me about a month ago, asking me how I've been, asked me in a roundabout way if I'm seeing anyone ("so how are the girlfriends?"), and well, we've been chatting since. We agreed we should meet to catch up with each other and it's happening tonight.

I haven't been on a date since I broke with my girlfriend of 5 years last May. Now here's the thing about this particular girl/woman: She's a close friend of one my exes (who has since married) and classmate/friend of my last ex as well. In fact, I met my ex through her, she brought her to a birthday party I hosted.

Personally I don't really care, I don't keep in touch with either ex (too long ago and too painful, respectively) and we don't really have big overlapping social circles, but could this be an issue? Am I getting way ahead of myself by worrying about this when it could just be a friendly get together?

 

[gaiages]

So tonight I'm seeing a girl (woman? I don't know at my age) I know from college that I haven't seen in over 10 years. We flirted a bit way back when but we never really had anything. She reached out to me about a month ago, asking me how I've been, asked me in a roundabout way if I'm seeing anyone ("so how are the girlfriends?"), and well, we've been chatting since. We agreed we should meet to catch up with each other and it's happening tonight.

I haven't been on a date since I broke with my girlfriend of 5 years last May. Now here's the thing about this particular girl/woman: She's a close friend of one my exes (who has since married) and classmate/friend of my last ex as well. In fact, I met my ex through her, she brought her to a birthday party I hosted.

Personally I don't really care, I don't keep in touch with either ex (too long ago and too painful, respectively) and we don't really have big overlapping social circles, but could this be an issue? Am I getting way ahead of myself by worrying about this when it could just be a friendly get together?

Why would it even be an issue, exactly? Knowing a past ex how has since moved on doesn't seem like a dealbreaker imo.

 

[Silvard]

Why would it even be an issue, exactly? Knowing a past ex how has since moved on doesn't seem like a dealbreaker imo.

It's not an issue for me, but I know it was kind of a issue between them at the time. Apparently when we were classmates in college (she later transferred to another uni, same town) she was into me, but after she transferred I started dating her best friend (the one that's married now). A mutual friend told me there had been some bitterness because of it, but that she ended up getting over it and they're still very close friends to this day.

Let me rephrase the context. Has anyone here ever dated an ex's best friend, where your ex is still a big part of your SO's social circle? How is it?

This is in no way a dealbreaker for me, by the way. I'm still seeing her and if we're into each other I'm going to pursue it. I'm just wondering what it would be like. I may be naïve in thinking these are uncommon circumstances.

 

[Ultramantaro1]

Where do most of y'all get your dates from? Since being out of school, and working in a male-dominated field, I don't have many occasions to meet women during the day unless I go out of my way. Dating apps haven't had much results; I think I'll try going to bars/clubs again. Where have the serial daters in this thread gotten the most success ?

 

[names2hard4you]

Where do most of y'all get your dates from? Since being out of school, and working in a male-dominated field, I don't have many occasions to meet women during the day unless I go out of my way. Dating apps haven't had much results; I think I'll try going to bars/clubs again. Where have the serial daters in this thread gotten the most success ?

I personally get a lot of my dates off of Tinder. Coffee shops, the occasional bar I go to as well. And now I'm meeting new people every day because of my new co-op job. All co-ops work in different divisions/building/branches within the same area, but we all get together at lunchtime to talk. All of us come from different backgrounds, areas of the city and schools so it's really nice. Not that I have gotten any dates from this, but again, more socialization and meeting new people building up my conversational skills. I honestly think you can meet new people anywhere as long as you try and speak up. I'm at an all time high in my social life simply because I actually made an effort to think less and speak more.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

Welp tonight's date flaked. Very apologetic, something about a family member that got hurt, blah blah. I didn't ask for the details but she kept giving them saying she didn't want me to think I got blown off. She didn't suggest a time for another date so it's time to move on to the next one.

I chuckled at this, not because she flaked (sucks) but because she must think you're an idiot.

Family member hurt, I'm so so sorry, yadda yadda yadda. No mention of a reschedule because she wants to see where the current thing she has going on is headed, but overacts and makes sure to leave it vague enough with you that she thinks she can hit you back up if the current thing goes pear shaped.

I honestly don't know if I miss dating or not with stories like this. I will say I'm happy to be engaged and leave it at that I think.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

It's not an issue for me, but I know it was kind of a issue between them at the time. Apparently when we were classmates in college (she later transferred to another uni, same town) she was into me, but after she transferred I started dating her best friend (the one that's married now). A mutual friend told me there had been some bitterness because of it, but that she ended up getting over it and they're still very close friends to this day.

Let me rephrase the context. Has anyone here ever dated an ex's best friend, where your ex is still a big part of your SO's social circle? How is it?

This is in no way a dealbreaker for me, by the way. I'm still seeing her and if we're into each other I'm going to pursue it. I'm just wondering what it would be like. I may be naïve in thinking these are uncommon circumstances.

It would only matter if things ended really badly with the ex and she's holding a grudge, but even then she reached out so if there was any badmouthing, she doesn't seem to care or she realises there's two sides to every story and is interested to know yours.

 

[Silvard]

It would only matter if things ended really badly with the ex and she's holding a grudge, but even then she reached out so if there was any badmouthing, she doesn't seem to care or she realises there's two sides to every story and is interested to know yours.

I don't think there's been any badmouthing from my ex. It wasn't a great breakup (I was a great boyfriend until I moved overseas for school, but my ex was still under the impression that the relationship was on while I wasn't, and we had that talk way too late) but we've seen each other since then and it's all been quite amicable.

Well, no sense in getting ahead of myself. It might not end up being a romantic date. Picking her up in a couple of hours, we'll see.

 

[names2hard4you]

I chuckled at this, not because she flaked (sucks) but because she must think you're an idiot.

Family member hurt, I'm so so sorry, yadda yadda yadda. No mention of a reschedule because she wants to see where the current thing she has going on is headed, but overacts and makes sure to leave it vague enough with you that she thinks she can hit you back up if the current thing goes pear shaped.

I honestly don't know if I miss dating or not with stories like this. I will say I'm happy to be engaged and leave it at that I think.

Ahahaha yup. I too found it funny, I think she is new to the whole online dating thing, and made it a huge deal even though we never even met in person once. Like girl, trust me I get it. I've been doing this for a while LOL.

Truth be told man it's tiring. Yet I keep doing it lol.

 

[Messofanego]

Why are some of you so scared of saying it's a date? lol. You're not a teen anymore who wants to "hang" or whatever.

 

[gaiages]

Why are some of you so scared of saying it's a date? lol. You're not a teen anymore who wants to "hang" or whatever.

Fear of rejection I suppose, and some attention is better than none. Neither are good things to think but there you have it

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Why are some of you so scared of saying it's a date? lol. You're not a teen anymore who wants to "hang" or whatever.

Fear of rejection I suppose, and some attention is better than none. Neither are good things to think but there you have it

In this guy's case, he met someone on a dating site. Therefore, it's completely pointless to confirm whether something's a date. It's implied.

Otherwise, completely agreed.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Why are some of you so scared of saying it's a date? lol. You're not a teen anymore who wants to "hang" or whatever.

Dont want to scare her off before she gets to know the real them. Its exactly not calling it a date that causes mixed messages.

 

[Messofanego]

Dont want to scare her off before she gets to know the real them. Its exactly not calling it a date that causes mixed messages.

I mean, don't exactly be surprised if someone "friendzones" themselves with this kind of mixed signalling

 

[baxter2231]

Using your full name on okcupid a bad idea? If so i gotta change it.

 

[Servbot24]

There's a girl I've been messaging on OKC the last couple days who doesn't move to my city for 2 weeks. Anyone ever had this sort of situation work out? Keeping messages going on OKC for 2 weeks is probably impossible, so I'll see if we can take it to text tomorrow.

Using your full name on okcupid a bad idea? If so i gotta change it.

I wouldn't recommend it. Probably nothing would happen, but it's not good internet practice.

 

[baxter2231]

There's a girl I've been messaging on OKC the last couple days who doesn't move to my city for 2 weeks. Anyone ever had this sort of situation work out? Keeping messages going on OKC for 2 weeks is probably impossible, so I'll see if we can take it to text tomorrow.




I wouldn't recommend it. Probably nothing would happen, but it's not good internet practice.

My real name is on facebook and most other people have it that way but i realized after i made it this could be a bad thing at least on that kind of site. Didnt realize until i saw 2 other people look at my profile and they didnt have full names.