http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1332139
TLDR version: Attractive woman hits on, gets date with gaffer, gaffer is confused.
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
- Start date
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http://www.neogaf.com/forum/showthread.php?t=1332139
TLDR version: Attractive woman hits on, gets date with gaffer, gaffer is confused.
Lol thanks. Interesting read.
artsi
Member
LOL that's gold.
EchoChamber
Member
Apparently if you listen to the thread title is possible to get some dates, 😂
Overcoming my overthinking is hard but baby steps I guess.
Overcoming my overthinking is hard but baby steps I guess.
ZackieChan
Member
Not sure what you mean, but here in Scandinavia it is very common to have exams in January
Sorry brehs. #TrumpsMurica
Messofanego
Banned
Just had an emotional breakdown in my whip about how I'll never git gud at modern dating and am destined to be frustrated as fuck and cynical all the time. Swiping through Tinder as per DatingGaf recommendation and its just not working. I'm getting matches, compliments etc. but convos are going nowhere and no one seems interested in having an actual date. I wait and wait and they never ask OR i ask and they ghost or deflect. So we end up sending snarky jokes back and forth until i get bored of it. sometimes I'll send the digimons (phone digits) and the chemistry dies right after like i was talking to two different people or some shit
I desperately don't want to go to a bar or club because I'm just not into talking to people when alcohol is involved anymore ughh i know i sound like a fucking loser but it's just who I am. I would literally only be there to find a date... Hoping I meet someone at the Nintendo Switch press event at this point because I can't even.
Porn has lost its luster. I only watch one porno at this point and i just cum and roll over like i just finished eating a lackluster sub sandwich & im tired of watching other people get off so now im sexually frustrsated AND emotionally distraught. A bad combo as im sure we all know.
I just want to
1) meet someone, get their number with NO frills or mandatory fishing minigame
2) go on a legit date to a nice establishment, doesn't have to be Katsuya or Akira Sushi where you take your shoes off and sit on placemats.
3) feel like im not alone in this world and dealing with life's bullshit AND dating's bullshit for once.
Is there a such thing as someone who is unable to find love? Please just say there is so I feel better about myself!😣😣 im an emotional wreck 😢
I desperately don't want to go to a bar or club because I'm just not into talking to people when alcohol is involved anymore ughh i know i sound like a fucking loser but it's just who I am. I would literally only be there to find a date... Hoping I meet someone at the Nintendo Switch press event at this point because I can't even.
Porn has lost its luster. I only watch one porno at this point and i just cum and roll over like i just finished eating a lackluster sub sandwich & im tired of watching other people get off so now im sexually frustrsated AND emotionally distraught. A bad combo as im sure we all know.
I just want to
1) meet someone, get their number with NO frills or mandatory fishing minigame
2) go on a legit date to a nice establishment, doesn't have to be Katsuya or Akira Sushi where you take your shoes off and sit on placemats.
3) feel like im not alone in this world and dealing with life's bullshit AND dating's bullshit for once.
Is there a such thing as someone who is unable to find love? Please just say there is so I feel better about myself!😣😣 im an emotional wreck 😢
nintendork666
Member
Yeah, I get ghosted a lot on Tinder too. Honestly I've had far better luck with just random Facebook adds.
I understand that simply getting a simple date, is a hurdle you've placed for yourself. But let me tell you, you will tire of "dinner" for first dates. Many people are already tired of "dinner and a movie" or "Netflix and chill". Both of which are about the same level of activity. Which is just about zero. (I'm ignoring that "Netflix and chill" often means "come over so we can pet eachother").
There is a fairly large set of people who are online dating, because they are tired of the classic dating grind. It allows them to be choosy and they are looking for you to even hint at being more interesting than the aforementioned bore.
grabbing food cart food and going for a walk is 14 times more engaging, than sitting in uncomfortable chairs, waiting for someone to make your food, while the other person is visibly indexing their possibly next sentences.
Tell the other person that you want to do X activity with them.
Near where I live, is an old campus of military bunkers. I like to go there. I love it there. The place itself, gives plenty of inspiration to talk and many threads are branched off, as things come to mind. Even though I have been there a lot, each trip is different. Even with the same person.
Its pretty, interesting, can be kind of creepy, can be ominous, is a fun place. Its great. There is even a beach! Wild deer. One time, a hummingbird was dive bombing us. I guess we were in his claimed area!
Then I cap it off with (insert fun food here such as pizza).
One time, a girl took me to a bounce house. (place with giant trampolines and foam pits). We didn't connect, but man did we have fun! We didn't even go get food!
Miles Quaritch
Member
Some of that thread didn't surprise me. Having dated SE women, things get weird fast. Some of them are told they have 'expiry dates' and will end up useless/worthless if they aren't married by a certain age. Shit's fucked up.
'Dating' and marriage is very male oriented. Most men can be picky, but educated men can choose to be extremely picky and will complain over things like gum ratios. It's about having the perfect 'wife'
The fat contract thing though.... Jesus.
Yeah, I picked up on that but being asked out by someone you consider attractive should be a huge confidence booster. You shouldn't fall into a spiral of 'why me'
Also depressing as fuck that some people aren't used to be being asked out. Possibly weird experience...Sigh.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Maybe you need to change your expectations about what you want from a date and try to be more direct and confident in how you interact with matches.
You're getting compliments, so looks aren't an issue. Sounds like you're chatting too much instead of actually chasing details and arranging dates.
You should be asking for details after the third message. Don't have full blown conversations on the app, you're there to meet people and get to know them off app, in person.
Have those conversations in person.
🤔😦
If you're getting matches you're on the right track, so I wouldn't give up.
How much do you message before asking them out? You saying "you wait and wait" or "sending snarky jokes back and forth until I get bored" makes me think you wait too long. You shouldn't be texting for days before asking. The sooner the better, because you'll have your answer right then which saves you time, and girls will lose interest the longer you wait.
Don't worry about getting to know them over text, that's what the date is for.
Right there with ya dude, it's tough out there. I'm a 6'4, athletic, moderately good looking guy with a pretty good salary, and I can't even get a hint of interest. I'm certainly not boasting about my status or anything, just saying that I think I should seem viable. I admit I'm slightly shy, but it's not to an unusual degree or anything like that. After a while you just kind of chalk it up to some intangible thing about yourself and give up.
jeez.. this is not what a 5'8 not-so-athletic dude wants to hear after just breaking it off with someone.
what avenues are you using to date?
Just OKC, and I started trying Tinder two days ago. Maybe that's my problem and I need try meeting people in person more, I just always have the concern that girls will assume things and put their guard up if I walk up and talk to them in person, whereas online there's the understanding that most people are single and looking.
always crazy bacon
Banned
In society women are expected to be asked for their number, don't wait for them to ask. If you ask and it's a no (anything not yes is a no), just delete them and move on and stop getting over invested. You'll save yourself time and heartache and be one step closer to the woman that will say yes.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Jesus Christ. That is disgusing. The worst part is you know the dude aint even getting girls either. He's just a dick.
Oh 😔😔😔
Silas Lang
Member
Definitely ask sooner as opposed to later. In fact, last night I got a match and had a good chat for an hour and then asked to meet for coffee today and boom- date. We even continued chatting for a bit after setting up the date. Don't wait and strike while the iron is hot. Be confident and don't worry too much about saying the right thing. In my experience, if she likes you she will respond positively to most anything.
I really just started dating a year ago and practice does help. Listen to people in this thread! It has been a very helpful source of info for noobs such as myself.
I really just started dating a year ago and practice does help. Listen to people in this thread! It has been a very helpful source of info for noobs such as myself.
I'm pretty confident in my ability to woo someone in person, so it's more of the whole getting them there that might be the issue.
Anyways, I'm not ready to date just yet. I'll start updating my progress once I jump back in.
Incendiary
Banned
I choose to believe this person is just trolling and doesn't actually have these views because I still have hope for humanity.
All package all the time for me. I have so many dates, I go on the best dates. You wouldn't believe the dates I go on.
I've never sent a dick pic in my life.
Messofanego
Banned
stn
Member
No, you'll go far - just not in finding someone for a relationship. But you'll definitely get messaged.
You should try Bumble too
Just getting back in the game for the first time in years, so the whole tinder/bumble thing has been interesting
Yep. My first OKCupid profile from ~2.5 years ago had one pic - And it was kinda terrible. I still got dates. Guess my word game is just that strong. As AD likes to say, "know what makes you worth dating".
Lone_Prodigy
Member
It's just online, but some people can sense lack of confidence and desperation.
I'll give that a shot, thanks.
names2hard4you
Member
That can only take you so far. On paper you are picture perfect yet it still isn't enough. I have height going against me: I'm 5'5". Still, that doesn't stop me from going out of my way to speak to people and getting dates pretty frequently. I bolded your problem. The moment you begin fearing, and thinking more than doing, you simply won't see any changes in your dating life. I was "slightly shy" too until about 5-6 months ago, when I felt it was enough. I became more outgoing, took more risks, and since then not only did my dating life improve severely, but other aspects as well. Doesn't matter how good the cover of a book is if what's inside isn't worth reading. Be interesting, do stuff, be engaging.
I've lost all hope of ever getting a girlfriend. Still nobody that visits my profile page on different dating sites, answers my mails or anything. Only once in a blue moon someone visits my page and that is because I visited their profile page. Tinder doesn't work either.
So I'm desperate and I want to know if anyone has dated a Thai or Philippine women. I see tons of them here in Sweden with Swedish guys. Guess that is what losers and brain dead guys like me get when we can't date Swedish women
Edit:
Either that or I just give up dating all along and just focus on a solitude and my computer/Nintendo games
So I'm desperate and I want to know if anyone has dated a Thai or Philippine women. I see tons of them here in Sweden with Swedish guys. Guess that is what losers and brain dead guys like me get when we can't date Swedish women
Edit:
Either that or I just give up dating all along and just focus on a solitude and my computer/Nintendo games
I'm not sure that's being very nice to Thai and Philippine women...
Hold up - why are you referring to Thai or Filipino women as someone to be dated only out of desperation? As if they'd want to date someone who's only interested because of a lack of other options.
If you want advice on how to improve so that more girls want to date, tell us what you've done already. Post pics, post your profile, post something. We will help. If you're just here to mourn your failures, we can't do shit.
Don't despair guys.
I was internet dating for about 6 or so years before meeting my first girlfriend. That didn't last long but now I'm on my second and we've been together for more than 6 months now.
I have some advantages, but I am obese (136kg/300lbs) having been much heaver before. I was about 190kg/420lbs and I have the skin to show for it. Also, my teeth are all kinds of stained (like, blotchy) and crowded.
But you know what? Those things don't matter to my girlfriend. She loves me anyway. And believe me, I'm punching way about my weight (hur hur)
So don't give up hope, please. I know how it feels sometimes. I've been there.
Don't necessarily listen to those that say "just stop trying and it'll happen" people though. They have no idea >_>
I was internet dating for about 6 or so years before meeting my first girlfriend. That didn't last long but now I'm on my second and we've been together for more than 6 months now.
I have some advantages, but I am obese (136kg/300lbs) having been much heaver before. I was about 190kg/420lbs and I have the skin to show for it. Also, my teeth are all kinds of stained (like, blotchy) and crowded.
But you know what? Those things don't matter to my girlfriend. She loves me anyway. And believe me, I'm punching way about my weight (hur hur)
So don't give up hope, please. I know how it feels sometimes. I've been there.
Don't necessarily listen to those that say "just stop trying and it'll happen" people though. They have no idea >_>
Gotdatmoney
Member
This racist ass bullshit is not deserving of pity and or help. What the fuck is this?
Give your head a fucking shake.
I felt alright today so I did meet up with her in the end.Ughhhh.
I'm not 100% sure, but it looks like I could be coming down with glandular fever (mono) after all.
I'm meant to be meeting the girl who I would've caught it from on Tuesday, but I'll have to see how I feel I guess.
Fingers crossed things don't end with her, but in any case I'll probably be out of action with dating for quite a few months...
We met up for dinner which was fine, but afterwards she said she wanted to go for a walk and chat.
She told me she would've thought she would've felt more of a connection to me by now, and that she doesn't feel either of us have opened up as we much as we probably should've by now. She didn't flat out say she wants to end it, but it felt almost implied in how she was speaking to me.
I did say to her that it can be tough for me to open up at times, and that it's probably my biggest flaw. Perhaps it's my anxiety or even my Britishness, I don't know, but I do struggle to talk about my feelings at times.
More spark existed before she became ill, and naturally since then I feel the spark has diminished between us. I don't think the issues we had in the bedroom the time we tried helped either, and nor did her going back to the US for Christmas.
She wanted suggestions in what to do, and I suggested we could give it a couple of weeks and see how we feel (her parents are over at hers anyway).
Honestly I feel like I'm wasting my time, but I thought that perhaps in giving her space maybe her opinion would change? It's a headache.
I certainly don't want anything to be one-sided, I just wish she was more forward with how she feels.
That's pretty cool. I haven't had that many bad dates and even still i dont mind having an awkward experience or two. Its just getting to that point that frustrates me. I feel like people are literally looking for reasons not to go on a date idk. I was just kidding about the Katsuya stuff. I like unique dates. Thanks for the advice.
Yeah I'm sexy AF to be frank and im really friendly so i just need to get to the actual date and at that point whatever happens happens. It's just the initial barrier I'm finding really hard to jump over. It's like putting on contacts or riding a bike for the first time. But yeah i guess I'll start asking for dates alot sooner. Thanks for the advice.
To be honest, going through my text logs, i probably wait abit too long and see now that i need to ask sooner. But when they send me a stupid ass gif or put snarky shit in their bio it just seems like i have to write an exciting screenplay or something before i ask. Thanks for the advice.
I'm close to giving up but then i have interactions with people that I'm not attracted to in real life and I can just tell I'm an appealing person. Sorry if that sounds arrogant or whatever but it seems like im likable enough to be loved... idk. Thanks for being so understanding.
Thanks for the advice.
Count Dookkake
Member
That's a pretty awful thing to say.
If it is reflective of your general disposition, I can't possibly imagine why you aren't scooping up the ladies.
names2hard4you
Member
I tried. Seems the problem is much deeper though
Pasta_Soup
Member
Aside from your blatant, disgusting racism, your attitude is awful. No one wants to date a self-pitying, desperate guy like you're coming off as. Take a long break and work on your attitude and confidence. Maybe try joining some clubs and meet people in real life when you're feeling better.
It probably is a waste of time. No relationship should be this much work this early. It should be fun, light-hearted, and passionate. Both parties should be excited and eager to spend time together - and getting intimate together. From your description, she seemed pretty straightforward: she doesn't see this developing into anything with how it's currently playing out.
Give it the couple of weeks if you'd like, but unless you can somehow instill a strong romantic connection between the two of you within this arbitrary time limit, it probably won't change the inevitable outcome.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
I asked her out for a second date for this Friday, but she hasn't replied yet. Hope that's not too forward for her, cause we were talking last night about taking things slow and ensuring we've got a good solid base of friendship before ramping things up
Lone_Prodigy
Member
I think she wanted to end it right then and there but gave you a chance at the end. Sure circumstances got in the way (illness, travel, holidays) but if the attraction is there, it won't affect things. I believe you said you went on 4 (or was it 6) dates before she left for the US? That should be enough time to establish exclusivity or some sort of commitment.
I would probably end it. No sense making yourself uncomfortable trying to change for her sake.
Meeting up is not going too fast, unless it's a candlelight dinner followed by Barry White, roses in the bathtub, and a reenactment of a scene from Fifty Shades. Remember that she might be seeing other people, so meeting up often and ASAP is prudent.
Gotdatmoney
Member
I dunno man. Me personally. I gotta lots of friends. I am not looking for new ones. I don't focus on building a friendship and doing lots of talking and sharing with my friends. It comes and goes. When someone says I wanna be friends first my first response is basically, "well I can go months without seeing my friends or talking to some of them so is that really what you want?" Normally they either dip out or get the picture that I am not wasting time on the special treatment process.
I think asking for date 2 is the correct move man. Don't play any games.
always crazy bacon
Banned
That's fine, taking it slow does not mean not seeing each other, more not getting intimate or emotionally invested too much too soon.
EchoChamber
Member
Went to a date today it went really nice, but one problem tho, she is 28 years old and I didn't know until today hahaha I like her but I think the age gap is too big 😯😯😯😯
Now how am I supposed to comment on your overthinking of something as trivial as an age gap without you telling us how old you are?
what a detailed posted
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