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[Kyne]

I am 31 years old and i have never had a single love relationship in my life, for various reasons, one of them being that i could not trust people not trust myself wwhen i was younger. I have been unemployed since 2009 and it had a devastating impact on my social life, which was already rather empty. I have what you can call "virtual friends" online and that is all.

I have listened to various advices, like "go out more often, join groups,etc", but this is something uneasy because i have always been rather lonely since my childhood, i cannot really tell you "I started being/feeling like that" when i was xx years. I never figured how teenagers could start relationships so young, back then i was just pretending to not care and focus on work, which was something i could have control on.
I can say i have sometimes felt attracted to women, but i never experienced pure love,i tend to always analyse things by putting pluses and minuses, questioning, weighing the risks,etc.

Attempts to use a dating website failed and were rather frustrating. It was like everyone had high standards and specific expectations that were not possible to fulfil(to me). I have kept hoping, that destiny would make things happen but so far it did not.
I think what made me stay alone was the feeling i had to not fit in this world, and events i had lived at school like harassment, which had made me think i was ugly or not normal. With the time, i have relativized a bit all that, but there are still a lot of stones on the path.
It is not something that is taught at school and there does not seem to be a universal recipe.

Recurrent thoughts are "can I be important for someone outside of my family, is it important"?, "I do not find love, but well after all many people seem to suffer, divorces are common , etc and media try to say the time of exclusiverelationships is over", "how do these people proceed to be in love or have someone fall in love for them",etc.

Sounds lonely fireflame. Is there a specific reason that you have not been able to work since 2009? You don't have to post it here if it's personal.

Online dating isn't for everyone. Hell, sometimes it doesn't even work for the intended audience. The only advice I can give to you is not to give up and just try and better yourself while searching for a partner.

 

[Wikzo]

I am 31 years old and i have never had a single love relationship in my life, for various reasons, one of them being that i could not trust people not trust myself wwhen i was younger. I have been unemployed since 2009 and it had a devastating impact on my social life, which was already rather empty. I have what you can call "virtual friends" online and that is all.

Try to listen to this podcast about Rejection Therapy. Maybe it will motivate and help you to meet new people

 

[Insane Metal]

Start going to the gym, get yourself a nice haircut, grow a beard (trim the thing though, don't let it go crazy), work on your closet/clothing style, engage in more social activities. Use meetup to see if there's anything interesting happening around you. Just don't sit at home playing videogames/reading memes all day. Put in some work!

Damn. Tried going to the gym twice, hated every second. :|

clean up

put yourself out there

don't fear rejection

accept rejections and move on

Rejection is all I got every time, maybe that's why I gave up.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Damn. Tried going to the gym twice, hated every second. :|



Rejection is all I got every time, maybe that's why I gave up.

If you're not willing to put in the effort, we can't help you.

 

[Salamando]

I am 31 years old and i have never had a single love relationship in my life, for various reasons, one of them being that i could not trust people not trust myself wwhen i was younger. I have been unemployed since 2009 and it had a devastating impact on my social life, which was already rather empty. I have what you can call "virtual friends" online and that is all.

Social life aside, how's the rest of you? Do you have hobbies, talents? Without a job, you might not be getting that sense of satisfaction that comes from a job well done. If there's nothing to take pride in, it becomes damn easy to question your worth.

Beyond that, work on basic social skills. Talk to people in real life, about anything. Bus is late? Gripe. Weather sucks? Commiserate. Buying a soda? Compliment the server. Board game meetups are also great places to make friends.

Damn. Tried going to the gym twice, hated every second. :|

Cardio or weights? 'Cause it's natural to hate every second of cardio. If exercising was fun, everyone would be cut.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

I don't know, my sister had a big Pakistani wedding here in UK with like 100s of people, but I had a lot of fun arranging the seat planning with my dad and an uncle. We managed it all so well. It was the good kind of stress, eustress. I had fun greeting the hundreds of people as the older brother. Running around the venue, making sure the bride gang was there before the groom gang. Making sure the photographers knew what to do. The DJ, too. Bribing the groom's family for money before they could enter. You'll only understand if you're desi heh, I got £300 .

Before this I was anti-big weddings but now I've turned around when I've seen how well managed my sister's was.

I'm the eldest brother as well, so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be in the same situation as you in four months. But I actually do like that kind of running around, makes me feel useful.

I am 31 years old and i have never had a single love relationship in my life, for various reasons, one of them being that i could not trust people not trust myself wwhen i was younger. I have been unemployed since 2009 and it had a devastating impact on my social life, which was already rather empty. I have what you can call "virtual friends" online and that is all.

I have listened to various advices, like "go out more often, join groups,etc", but this is something uneasy because i have always been rather lonely since my childhood, i cannot really tell you "I started being/feeling like that" when i was xx years. I never figured how teenagers could start relationships so young, back then i was just pretending to not care and focus on work, which was something i could have control on.
I can say i have sometimes felt attracted to women, but i never experienced pure love,i tend to always analyse things by putting pluses and minuses, questioning, weighing the risks,etc.

Attempts to use a dating website failed and were rather frustrating. It was like everyone had high standards and specific expectations that were not possible to fulfil(to me). I have kept hoping, that destiny would make things happen but so far it did not.
I think what made me stay alone was the feeling i had to not fit in this world, and events i had lived at school like harassment, which had made me think i was ugly or not normal. With the time, i have relativized a bit all that, but there are still a lot of stones on the path.
It is not something that is taught at school and there does not seem to be a universal recipe.

Recurrent thoughts are "can I be important for someone outside of my family, is it important"?, "I do not find love, but well after all many people seem to suffer, divorces are common , etc and media try to say the time of exclusiverelationships is over", "how do these people proceed to be in love or have someone fall in love for them",etc.

Is there a reason you've been out of work since '09? Honestly, I feel shitty to tell you this, but it keeps coming down to having to put yourself out there, take the brunt of rejection like 95% of the time, and see what the chances are like with the other 5%. Online is the same as the real world, mostly rejection and occasionally acceptance and interest.

I mean, I've been trying dating sites for the last couple years, and for the most part it was a crappy experience, but I just kept working on myself in the meantime and I'm in a place where I'm more satisfied (but not happy yet) with myself than before, and it shows. You have to show that you're a compelling person.

I dunno, this new girl I'm kinda crazy about and I think she feels the same, but the only reason she kept talking to me was cause she found me funny, not cause I'm much of a looker. I asked her as much the other day.

 

[fireflame]

I have applied to lots of jobs through unemployment structure, i also tried to get government jobs by passing specific exams where they take those who get the best results, but it came in a moment where they were (and still are) reducing the number of jobs available in order to reduce the debt. I tried to find a job as a writer, as secretary, etc. A decent amount of answers from companies are " if we do not provide an answer in the following 2 weeks, please consider your apply has been rejected"

In 2015 i filed a request to get social aid for psychological disability and it was accepted so i also try to find jobs specifically reserved to people meeting those requirements.

There were also circumstances were i could have accepted jobs, but the places where i would have moved were too expensive to live in(for example a half time job paid for 700 euros would be barely enough to just rent a small place to sleep in Nice, even trying to find a village or smaller town around). The cost of life depends greatly depending on regions and sometimes you live better with a smaller pay in a town wherelife is less expensive than in a big town with a much higher pay.

The region where i live has a high unemployment rate, so i know i am likely to have to move. I considered returning to university, but circumstances made it harder or delicate because my stepfather had a cerebrovascular accident, my grandfather has alzheimer and is treated in a house for this, and my mother has to deal with all that.
During the years where I was unemployed i discovered that i had OCD(it took me time to see a psychiatrist because i was afraid of thoughts and obsessions i had).

I know I have indeed to face the fear or rejection and i try to prepare myself for that. I absolutely do want to work again as soon as possible because it helps to socialize and makes things more natural.(and helps to answer the question "hey what do you do in life" with less guilt and hesitation).

 

[Messofanego]

I'm the eldest brother as well, so I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be in the same situation as you in four months. But I actually do like that kind of running around, makes me feel useful.

Hope you enjoy! Definitely makes you feel like a man, getting things done.

 

[Llyranor]

My best friend spent $30k+ on his wedding. And all the while, I was thinking, why?

I would rather put that money towards a house.

Ruh-oh http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=971786

Damn. Tried going to the gym twice, hated every second. :|

I freaking hated the gym too, both cardio and weights. So mind-numbing.

Find a sport you like and it makes working out immensely more enjoyable.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Hmm. The girl I'm seeing canceled on me last night, citing fatigue (flew in on a red-eye that morning) and because she received some bad news about her dad's health.

Makes sense.

No rescheduling attempted, and she said she wanted "alone time" when I asked if she needed anything. I said that I understood and that I was a call or text away, but that was that.

We've been dating for about a month and are exclusive, plus I don't get ghosted, so I guess this really is a wait and see approach. Trying not to read too much into it, but I've always been correct about detecting beginning of the end vibes. Not quite there yet, though...

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

It was fun, lighthearted and passionate for the majority of our dates (8 overall). The vibe on our earlier dates was great, and I could tell she was feeling the same way. She was always so eager to meet up with me again, but things just hit the gutter when she became sick and went back to the US for Christmas.

I said to her (perhaps I shouldn't have? I don't know), that I don't feel our lack of intimacy/getting physical has helped in the situation at all in "opening up" either. We seemed to be going at a decent pace and then things just came to a standstill completely. It's simply not healthy and I said this after she compared us to her friends new relationship who've been dating for about the same time.

I think I'm going to give it a couple of days and then just end it. It's frustrating since this is the first time I've met someone where I personally feel a connection, but obviously it wasn't meant to be.

At the moment I'm finding it hard not to keep blaming myself for things going this way, but truth be told I doubt I'm the one at fault here.

Edit: Since she took the time to speak to me in person, should I do the same or just end it via text? I don't think I could wait another 2 weeks before that to be honest.

I think her comparing it to a friend's relationship is unfair: different people, different relationship, different pace. But since the lack of progress is frustrating both of you, I think it's better that you end it now rather than spinning your wheels for 2 weeks or trying to save it.

As for doing it face to face or via text, since it's Wednesday you could try scheduling something for this weekend, but I am fairly certain she would decline.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

Damn. Tried going to the gym twice, hated every second. :|


Rejection is all I got every time, maybe that's why I gave up.

I mean no offense but who the fuck enjoys the gym after 2 times? After my first 2 weeks at the gym I avidly remember being so sore I could barely bend my arm enough to feed myself one day.

It's not necesarily going to feel amazing when you start. Its just a bunch of soreness and struggles. But you eventually do overcome it. This isnt to say you are going to like it but twice? Wtf is that? What in life can you try twice and it just has instant positive benfits?

Maybe buy some weights for home (a 20, 30, 40) should be plenty and use that in combo with a sport or activity. Hiking plus weights or soccer plus weights so you can see your gains be useful besides looks.

As far as only ever being rejected is concerned I mean that is a lot of people's experience. If you dont try you will be alone, if yountry then you at least give yourself a chance. And why shouldnt you give yourself a chance at what you want? Why give up? Is there anything lost by taking some pictures and swiping on Tinder?

 

[CorporateClown]

Alright, what's everyone's thoughts on the first date kiss. I have a date tomorrow and this is something that has always given me anxiety. My worst fear is that I go in for one and get shut down. I've dated girls that appreciated that I didn't attempt one on the first date, but my last gf constantly brought it up like I was insulting her or something.

Context, in case it matters: She's Korean, we met on tinder and have texted back and forth the last week or so.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Alright, what's everyone's thoughts on the first date kiss. I have a date tomorrow and this is something that has always given me anxiety. My worst fear is that I go in for one and get shut down. I've dated girls that appreciated that I didn't attempt one on the first date, but my last gf constantly brought it up like I was insulting her or something.

Context, in case it matters: She's Korean, we met on tinder and have texted back and forth the last week or so.

None of that is relevant context.

If you're feeling it, then do it. Don't force it. If you're touching each other (and you should be if there's mutual physical attraction), then it'll happen.

I personally view first dates without some making out as failures, though - but that's just me. (I can't remember the last time that didn't happen though, honestly.)

 

[Messofanego]

Alright, what's everyone's thoughts on the first date kiss. I have a date tomorrow and this is something that has always given me anxiety. My worst fear is that I go in for one and get shut down. I've dated girls that appreciated that I didn't attempt one on the first date, but my last gf constantly brought it up like I was insulting her or something.

Context, in case it matters: She's Korean, we met on tinder and have texted back and forth the last week or so.

Only go in if she's staring at you all quiet and moves in closer, lowering her eyelids. All movie like lol. Otherwise, just play it by ear and you should be able to feel it from her. If she's flirting and touching, you might have a chance.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

Only go in if she's staring at you all quiet and moves in closer, lowering her eyelids. All movie like lol. Otherwise, just play it by ear and you should be able to feel it from her. If she's flirting and touching, you might have a chance.

Disagree, partially.

Move in if you want to. Don't wait for her to "lower her eyelids." But yeah: you'll feel it.

You are NEVER wrong to express (in a respectful way, of course) that you're attracted to someone. Even if the girl's all, "just a kiss, save it for the second date," you've communicated you're interests successfully.

 

[The Lamonster]

Alright, what's everyone's thoughts on the first date kiss. I have a date tomorrow and this is something that has always given me anxiety. My worst fear is that I go in for one and get shut down. I've dated girls that appreciated that I didn't attempt one on the first date, but my last gf constantly brought it up like I was insulting her or something.

Context, in case it matters: She's Korean, we met on tinder and have texted back and forth the last week or so.

Go for it if the date went well. You'll know by the end.

Or you can straight up ask her feelings on kissing on the first date (earlier in the night). Make it like a flirty joke.

 

[GK86]

Ruh-oh http://m.neogaf.com/showthread.php?t=971786


I freaking hated the gym too, both cardio and weights. So mind-numbing.

Find a sport you like and it makes working out immensely more enjoyable.

Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if they got divorced within the next year.

 

[Messofanego]

Disagree, partially.

Move in if you want to. Don't wait for her to "lower her eyelids." But yeah: you'll feel it.

You are NEVER wrong to express (in a respectful way, of course) that you're attracted to someone. Even if the girl's all, "just a kiss, save it for the second date," you've communicated you're interests successfully.

Oooh but I wonder if people here would be ok with being rejected for the kiss

 

[LucidMomentum]

Oooh but I wonder if people here would be ok with being rejected for the kiss

It's happened to me before.

Better to try and fail, ya know?

I usually just go "fair enough," and wish them a good night.

 

[Kyne]

Hmm. The girl I'm seeing canceled on me last night, citing fatigue (flew in on a red-eye that morning) and because she received some bad news about her dad's health.

Makes sense.

No rescheduling attempted, and she said she wanted "alone time" when I asked if she needed anything. I said that I understood and that I was a call or text away, but that was that.

We've been dating for about a month and are exclusive, plus I don't get ghosted, so I guess this really is a wait and see approach. Trying not to read too much into it, but I've always been correct about detecting beginning of the end vibes. Not quite there yet, though...

There's not too much to read into.

Honestly put yourself in her shoes. If my father was super ill/going to pass away or something and I was only in a one month relationship I would personally (probably) break it off. I wouldn't want someone to have to deal with me while I went through that kind of stuff.

 

[Incendiary]

Alright, what's everyone's thoughts on the first date kiss. I have a date tomorrow and this is something that has always given me anxiety. My worst fear is that I go in for one and get shut down. I've dated girls that appreciated that I didn't attempt one on the first date, but my last gf constantly brought it up like I was insulting her or something.

Context, in case it matters: She's Korean, we met on tinder and have texted back and forth the last week or so.

For me I've kissed on the first date and also not and had both turn out successful. It's all about reading signals. If the girl wants you to kiss her, you'll be able to tell by body language. Don't go for one just because you're "supposed" to and also don't not go for one because you want to appear more gentleman-like either. Read the room.

Best example I had was I went out with a girl and the first two dates she gave me absolutely no room for kissing at the end of the dates. Complete shut down of any attempt. I legit thought she wasn't interested in me after both times, but she kept scheduling another date after so I was like "okay, whatever." Then at the end of the third date there was a clear shift in her body language, a kind of lingering and wanting to extend the date as long as possible, so that's when I kissed her. And everything worked out great.

 

[Lulubop]

If things are flowing well, just going for it during the date.

 

[Advocatus Diaboli]

There's not too much to read into.

Honestly put yourself in her shoes. If my father was super ill/going to pass away or something and I was only in a one month relationship I would personally (probably) break it off. I wouldn't want someone to have to deal with me while I went through that kind of stuff.

Yeah, that's essentially what I was suspecting. It really does underscore that timing is really everything. Rather unfortunate, and I suppose I'll see what happens because we had amazing chemistry, but family's the priority.

 

[Insane Metal]

I mean no offense but who the fuck enjoys the gym after 2 times? After my first 2 weeks at the gym I avidly remember being so sore I could barely bend my arm enough to feed myself one day.

It's not necesarily going to feel amazing when you start. Its just a bunch of soreness and struggles. But you eventually do overcome it. This isnt to say you are going to like it but twice? Wtf is that? What in life can you try twice and it just has instant positive benfits?

Maybe buy some weights for home (a 20, 30, 40) should be plenty and use that in combo with a sport or activity. Hiking plus weights or soccer plus weights so you can see your gains be useful besides looks.

As far as only ever being rejected is concerned I mean that is a lot of people's experience. If you dont try you will be alone, if yountry then you at least give yourself a chance. And why shouldnt you give yourself a chance at what you want? Why give up? Is there anything lost by taking some pictures and swiping on Tinder?

I meant that I tried to make it my routine. Started going, went a few times but soon got bored/started hating it and stopped. A few years later I tried again, same thing.

If you're not willing to put in the effort, we can't help you.

Sounds about right.

 

[ZackieChan]

Alright, what's everyone's thoughts on the first date kiss. I have a date tomorrow and this is something that has always given me anxiety. My worst fear is that I go in for one and get shut down. I've dated girls that appreciated that I didn't attempt one on the first date, but my last gf constantly brought it up like I was insulting her or something.

Context, in case it matters: She's Korean, we met on tinder and have texted back and forth the last week or so.

Stick to Thai and Filipino girls

 

[Xun]

I think her comparing it to a friend's relationship is unfair: different people, different relationship, different pace. But since the lack of progress is frustrating both of you, I think it's better that you end it now rather than spinning your wheels for 2 weeks or trying to save it.

As for doing it face to face or via text, since it's Wednesday you could try scheduling something for this weekend, but I am fairly certain she would decline.

From the sounds of things she's going to spend most of her time with her parents anyway, so I'm starting to feel more inclined to text her tomorrow and end it then for my own sake.

I was thinking of maybe saying the below (which you'd have to quote), although perhaps it's simply too long and lighthearted near the end. I just thought it could be a way of signing off from her.

 

[Salamando]

From the sounds of things she's going to spend most of her time with her parents anyway, so I'm starting to feel more inclined to text her tomorrow and end it then for my own sake.

I was thinking of maybe saying the below (which you'd have to quote), although perhaps it's simply too long and lighthearted near the end. I just thought it could be a way of signing off from her.

You're making smalltalk about the weather in a breakup letter? Wanting to keep in touch is nice, but friending an ex can be hard. You've known this girl for 8 dates...I think a clean break is better here.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Regarding first date kisses: if I'm having a good time and it appears that she is as well, but I can't tell if she is ready, I'll just say "I want to kiss you."

This has worked every time for me.

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Regarding first date kisses: if I'm having a good time and it appears that she is as well, but I can't tell if she is ready, I'll just say "I want to kiss you."

This has worked every time for me.

Nailed it. Same has worked for me.

 

[Llyranor]

I broke up with someone through email before. Feels bad.

 

[LucidMomentum]

Regarding first date kisses: if I'm having a good time and it appears that she is as well, but I can't tell if she is ready, I'll just say "I want to kiss you."

This has worked every time for me.

Nailed it. Same has worked for me.

When in doubt, be honest. I usually tell them I'm having a great time with them and would like to give them a kiss. Most of the time it works, but I have misjudged the mood sometimes.

 

[Blitzrules240]

Well, it's been awhile since I posted.

Update #1: I finally blocked that girl who was going to get me nowhere and was nagging me. Probably one of the hardest things I've done but it's done with and I've felt better since. I wonder if she realizes I've blocked her, maybe I just appear offline on the chat.

Update #2: This one is a bit of a headscratcher. So my best friend and his ex were really close and they had a peaceful breakup but last weekend, he told me we were going to go party with his ex's sister out of town and well I'm up for an adventure, so I'm going along. The kicker is apparently his ex's sister is attracted to me because he told me that she said she wanted to kiss me and she's heard "stories" about me. So I guess I'm going to pursue this option this weekend. Not going to overthink it. Live in the moment.

I'm content with how I've handled myself so far in 2017.

This weekend will be my first true attempt at getting back out there.

 

[Gotdatmoney]

I meant that I tried to make it my routine. Started going, went a few times but soon got bored/started hating it and stopped. A few years later I tried again, same thing.

Find a gym buddy!!! That alwayys helps. Amd start a sport like soccer, basketball, rowing. Something where working out translates into better performance

Sounds about right.

I dunno if you want us to feel bad for you but I dont. Sympathy ks designated for those that are trying their very best. It's not for peoplw who dont even wanna try. There are all these people out their putting in work day in and day out gettimg no results. You think you should be able to not try and get it? Hate to break it to you but. . .

 

[Makonero]

Alright, so I've been seeing this girl for almost two months. She's fun, sweet, thoughtful, pretty, and basically everything I've been looking for.

The problem is that I'm not excited about her. This is the first time I'm trying to take things slow and have a healthy relationship and it's nice that I'm not infatuated since I'm not overly anxious or obsessed. But I don't get butterflies and my heart doesn't leap when she texts or calls and I kind of miss that.

So is it that there's just no spark and I should call it quits before she gets too invested, or that this feels different because I'm actually doing this the right way? Should I just give it more time and see if I fall in love over time? Infatuation never lasts anyways so maybe it's not worth pursuing.

I have a lot of fun with her and I think she's great. I just wish I was more excited about her.

Well, I made the call and ended things with her tonight. It wasn't easy. We've had a lot of fun over the course of our relationship but I couldn't shake the feeling that my heart just wasn't in it. I'd begun to notice everything that annoyed me or bored me with her.

I hate breaking up with people. It never stops being hard, especially when you do care about them and want them to be happy. But I couldn't keep going when I knew I just didn't love her and couldn't see myself falling. I know I damn well tried, since she's so great on paper.

I think I need a break from dating.

 

[Horse Detective]

Man first date kisses are bizarre. I feel like you have to REALLY be getting some vibes for that.

 

[vern]

Man first date kisses are bizarre. I feel like you have to REALLY be getting some vibes for that.

What about sex on first date?

 

[NotTheGuyYouKill]

Man first date kisses are bizarre. I feel like you have to REALLY be getting some vibes for that.

Sometimes the chemistry is off the charts

I meant that I tried to make it my routine. Started going, went a few times but soon got bored/started hating it and stopped. A few years later I tried again, same thing.



Sounds about right.

I finally stuck with the gym on my third try. Lost 90 pounds over three years. The final 25, I've added kickboxing classes and am trying to totally clean my diet.

 

[Incendiary]

Well, I made the call and ended things with her tonight. It wasn't easy. We've had a lot of fun over the course of our relationship but I couldn't shake the feeling that my heart just wasn't in it. I'd begun to notice everything that annoyed me or bored me with her.

I hate breaking up with people. It never stops being hard, especially when you do care about them and want them to be happy. But I couldn't keep going when I knew I just didn't love her and couldn't see myself falling. I know I damn well tried, since she's so great on paper.

I think I need a break from dating.

I'm kind of in the same boat. Been dating a girl for two months and I like her and there isn't anything wrong with her, but at the same time I don't get the butterflies when I'm talking to her. It's almost already routine two months in and that's weird to me. But I also don't dislike her and legitimately enjoy spending time with her. There's just that extra spark that I can't find.

Comparatively, my old work crush stopped by my workplace the other day and two minutes of talking to her made me feel super giddy and brightened my mood considerably.

Feelings, man. How do they work?

 

[Valkerionseven]

^ lets hit the science lab and figure it out together lol.

But kinda feel bad about something from New Years. Went to a gathering and everyone is chatting having fun. I was kinda not in the mood to drink to much, though my best friend went hard... for some reason (I think he was overly trying to have fun) anyway, a lady friend. Actual friend that happens to be a woman lol. Comes and brings a few of her friends. They are a bit older, I already knew and had 'interactions' not sex with one of them.

Anyway~ about 30 minutes after the ball dropped, lady friend introduces me to a lady I did not know. I saw her looking my way several times but ignored it. She tries to introduce us one time and I said hi, my name is blah blah and went back to watching the new years music show. Later when we were leaving to go to another party she tries to make us talk again, I did not really say anything that time.

I felt bad later when I stopped to think about it and realized she was trying to set that up since the lady did not talk to anyone else outside her friends, nor was she introduced to anyone else.

Feel like I need to apologize to my friend for that. Been on the -no women- kick and maybe it came off as rude, when I don't want to seem that way. Though I do thank her for trying!

 

[artsi]

I'm kind of in the same boat. Been dating a girl for two months and I like her and there isn't anything wrong with her, but at the same time I don't get the butterflies when I'm talking to her. It's almost already routine two months in and that's weird to me. But I also don't dislike her and legitimately enjoy spending time with her. There's just that extra spark that I can't find.

Comparatively, my old work crush stopped by my workplace the other day and two minutes of talking to her made me feel super giddy and brightened my mood considerably.

Feelings, man. How do they work?

I don't know if there's something wrong with me but I've never had any kind of butterflies talking to girls I've dated. After getting to know them and entering relationship, I mean.

Man first date kisses are bizarre. I feel like you have to REALLY be getting some vibes for that.

I kissed my current GF on the first date, but like NotTheGuyYouKill said we had some serious chemistry there, we were already laying on the sofa cuddling and it felt natural

 

[ZackieChan]

What about sex on first date?

Signed consent form

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Went on a weird and hilarious first date earlier this week. We instantly hit it off on the phone over the weekend so decided to meet Monday night.
We meet at a nice bar that's midway between our homes. Soon as we enter we're being treated extra well, to a suspicious degree. Hostess saying: "we've been expecting you" etc.
Turns out there's a group of comedians scheduled to perform at the place and they thought we were with them.

We take a seat far in the back to try and remain inconspicuous. Everything's going great, laughing, good chemistry. Then another group arrives and sits at the table next to us. Big guy heavily bumps into our table spilling our wine all over us. After going through a pile of paper towels and washing up we laugh it off and continue to enjoy ourselves.

About an hour into the evening the actual comedians arrive and boy are they awful. One after another, just unfunny and inappropriately dirty. We both laugh at how we're probably too old for this kind of humor and feel sorry for the performers. The rest of audience isn't responding well either and it's getting slightly awkward. Then the host decides to single us out, all the way in the back. "What are your names? Where are you guys from? Do you like going to the movies?" etc.

I try to answer politely but the guy won't let us off the hook and starts asking me about what it's like being single vs. in a relationship etc. I do my best to deflect him while keeping the mood light. Guy on stage is drowning and he knows it!

Eventually he moves on to other members of the audience and other comedians come up but every once in a while they "check up" on us by throwing a remark, some not quite appropriate.

Early on when this begins I tell her to let me know if she wants to get the hell out of here and finally she says "now". We quickly pay the bill and try to leave without being noticed, unsuccessfully of course. The current performer is kinda pissed about us walking out and throws a slightly nasty remark just as I'm stepping outside. I don't look back.

We walk outside and she says she'll just order a cab and go home. She's more distant now. I say good night and we part ways. When I get home I text her "So.. Wow" and she replies "yeah". I write back "I think you're charming and as weird as it sounds haven't enjoyed a first date as much as this in a while."
No answer. That was a mistake on my part.
I've been on too many bad dates recently and have come to expect the worst, I think it did me in this time. After not hearing from her I text "I imagine it probably wasn't 'it' for you, was glad to meet." Couple minutes later she replies with: "You've kind of left me speechless and I don't like leaving things in the open so I'll just say: well, okay." whatever the hell that means.

Definitely one of the weirdest, if not the weirdest first dates I've ever been on.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

What say you GAF? Did I blow it? Was the evening just too much of a disaster to recover from or was she just not interested?

The message about leaving her speechless makes me feel like this was on me.

 

[cheezcake]

What say you GAF? Did I blow it? Was the evening just too much of a disaster to recover from or was she just not interested?

Look I am absolutely no expert when it comes to dating, I've only had a handful of fairly short relationships throughout my life, but to me it sounds almost like she didn't really appreciate the way you handled the awkward situation. I might be completely off base but that last text from her is definitely weird and I can't think of much that really fits that type of response. The way things panned out in the evening didn't do you any favors either, definitely some bad luck.

 

[efyu_lemonardo]

Look I am absolutely no expert when it comes to dating, I've only had a handful of fairly short relationships throughout my life, but to me it sounds almost like she didn't really appreciate the way you handled the awkward situation. I might be completely off base but that last text from her is definitely weird and I can't think of much that really fits that type of response. The way things panned out in the evening didn't do you any favors either, definitely some bad luck.

Thanks for the reply. Your interpretation is one of the few I've come up with that makes some sense. I wish we could have talked about it because I was definitely furious at the way some the comedians spoke to us but never got a chance to tell her. Was too shocked/confused by the whole series of events to think clearly about it until the next day.

 

[always crazy bacon]

Man first date kisses are bizarre. I feel like you have to REALLY be getting some vibes for that.

I never planned 1st date kisses, they either happened or not. I think a lot of women expect you to try so don't worry if you get knocked back. It's all part of dating.

 

[True Savior]

Signed consent form

What about first date booty eating?

 

[Miles Quaritch]

She might be 'left speechless' because you said you enjoyed what was obviously a very bad and awkward date.

Her reply to the 'wow' told you everything you needed to know about how she felt the date went but you went all in and said you had a fun time. A fun time isn't bailing on a date, a fun time isn't her saying I want to leave now and go home.

She didn't appreciate the attention from the stage cunts, she didn't appreciate being singled out and then you added in that you had fun.

Pick a more neutral first date next time. Comedians are cunts, if they end up tanking they will become mega cunts and try to mock the audience because they think that kind of humour will divert attention away from their shitty set.

 

[Miles Quaritch]

And fuck cake tasting.

Fuck it. how the fuck am I supposed to know which cake tastes good after tasting three of the fucking monstrosities in a row?

They literally all start tasting the same after that point.

And the prices. Jesus Christ. Even had the fiancée give them the side eye when they told her the one she wants is £170.

£170, for fucking cake. The kicker? She told me on the way home they were overpriced and she will look at alternative options.