For my sins, I've done it via SMS. It was a weird thing we had going on and we did email a couple of times later just to clear the air. The last date ended with a big disagreement about the fundamentals of relationships and we both left knowing that it was never going to work out. I think I simply wrote "Thanks. It has been fun."
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Dating Age |OT$6| Just ask her out already
- Thread starter gaiages
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For my sins, I've done it via SMS. It was a weird thing we had going on and we did email a couple of times later just to clear the air. The last date ended with a big disagreement about the fundamentals of relationships and we both left knowing that it was never going to work out. I think I simply wrote "Thanks. It has been fun."
Miles Quaritch
Member
I broke up with someone through email before. Feels bad.
For my sins, I've done it via SMS. It was a weird thing we had going on and we did email a couple of times later just to clear the air. The last date ended with a big disagreement about the fundamentals of relationships and we both left knowing that it was never going to work out. I think I simply wrote "Thanks. It has been fun."
Heh, I remember breaking up with someone through her friend.
I was 19 so don't judge.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
She might be 'left speechless' because you said you enjoyed what was obviously a very bad and awkward date.
Her reply to the 'wow' told you everything you needed to know about how she felt the date went but you went all in and said you had a fun time. A fun time isn't bailing on a date, a fun time isn't her saying I want to leave now and go home.
She didn't appreciate the attention from the stage cunts, she didn't appreciate being singled out and then you added in that you had fun.
Pick a more neutral first date next time. Comedians are cunts, if they end up tanking they will become mega cunts and try to mock the audience because they think that kind of humour will divert attention away from their shitty set.
I swear to god I had no idea there would be comedians until we were told by the hostess, and the place wasn't even the one I originally suggested. Definitely not making that mistake again(!!) but the reason I feel kind of shitty is her response makes it sound like I was on the same side as the comedian when in reality I wanted to punch him in the face.
During the show we both groaned and laughed at the awkwardness of it all I was the one to say, early on, that the moment this is uncomfortable we can split. Perhaps I should have reacted sooner but it was such a weird position to be in, the comedian was practically making us a part of his act. Never been in such a position before.
I figured it was obvious that I enjoyed myself despite the terrible awkwardness but I guess the way I phrased my text gave the exact opposite impression.
Miles Quaritch
Member
Hindsight, yadda yadda yadda.
You probably should have said let's go rather than give the option. Be more assertive when you feel something isn't going great. Did you read her body language to see how uncomfortable she was?
And yeah, what happened to you is what happens when comedians tank. They pick someone in the crowd to divert attention and make things less awkward for themselves. They know you aren't there to be part of their act so they rely on your awkwardness to the situation to give them something to work with.
You probably should have said let's go rather than give the option. Be more assertive when you feel something isn't going great. Did you read her body language to see how uncomfortable she was?
And yeah, what happened to you is what happens when comedians tank. They pick someone in the crowd to divert attention and make things less awkward for themselves. They know you aren't there to be part of their act so they rely on your awkwardness to the situation to give them something to work with.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Got it. Lesson learned. Thanks for the help.Hindsight, yadda yadda yadda.
You probably should have said let's go rather than give the option. Be more assertive when you feel something isn't going great. Did you read her body language to see how uncomfortable she was?
And yeah, what happened to you is what happens when comedians tank. They pick someone in the crowd to divert attention and make things less awkward for themselves. They know you aren't there to be part of their act so they rely on your awkwardness to the situation to give them something to work with.
ZackieChan
Member
What about first date booty eating?
I've got a rider for that
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
What about sex on first date?
I generally always say "I want to wait until there's an emotional connection" without any apologies. Then I usually cave and I've got something like a 99% success rate on second date sex.
In other news, I'm seeing the girl I'm dating this Saturday. She reached out and apologized; I said there was nothing to apologize for, and we'll see how it goes.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Can't get a break at the moment.
Matched with a girl on Tinder yesterday, got talking, she gave me her number and made plans to go out straight after work tonight.
So I asked her where I should meet her and she said at her workplace. I could grab a coffee whilst she locks and cashes up (Alarm bell goes off. My Ex is a barista in the same city) so I ask where she works and of course sods law it's the same place my ex works at. SMH.
We both reluctantly agree it would be too weird and awkward for the new girl if anything became of us.
Matched with a girl on Tinder yesterday, got talking, she gave me her number and made plans to go out straight after work tonight.
So I asked her where I should meet her and she said at her workplace. I could grab a coffee whilst she locks and cashes up (Alarm bell goes off. My Ex is a barista in the same city) so I ask where she works and of course sods law it's the same place my ex works at. SMH.
We both reluctantly agree it would be too weird and awkward for the new girl if anything became of us.
Gotdatmoney
Member
Can't get a break at the moment.
Matched with a girl on Tinder yesterday, got talking, she gave me her number and made plans to go out straight after work tonight.
So I asked her where I should meet her and she said at her workplace. I could grab a coffee whilst she locks and cashes up (Alarm bell goes off. My Ex is a barista in the same city) so I ask where she works and of course sods law it's the same place my ex works at. SMH.
We both reluctantly agree it would be too weird and awkward for the new girl if anything became of us.
Eh, I dont see why you can't see this girl because of your ex. Maybe dont meet her at work but otherwise your ex isn't your problem. She shouldnt be why you pass on a date.
Can't get a break at the moment.
Matched with a girl on Tinder yesterday, got talking, she gave me her number and made plans to go out straight after work tonight.
So I asked her where I should meet her and she said at her workplace. I could grab a coffee whilst she locks and cashes up (Alarm bell goes off. My Ex is a barista in the same city) so I ask where she works and of course sods law it's the same place my ex works at. SMH.
We both reluctantly agree it would be too weird and awkward for the new girl if anything became of us.
they aren't going to work there forever.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Heh, I remember breaking up with someone through her friend.
I was 19 so don't judge.
I remember I found out my girlfriend was no longer my girlfriend when I came back from a summer holiday with my family and she had a new boyfriend. To be fair I'd had a girlfriend that week that I met in the campsite entertainment center disco. so I wasn't that bothered. Also I was 13.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Eh, I dont see why you can't see this girl because of your ex. Maybe dont meet her at work but otherwise your ex isn't your problem. She shouldnt be why you pass on a date.
Never cross the streams and let your EX meet your current girlfriend..
I am not kidding about costco cake. I've heard of people who've done that.And fuck cake tasting.
Fuck it. how the fuck am I supposed to know which cake tastes good after tasting three of the fucking monstrosities in a row?
They literally all start tasting the same after that point.
And the prices. Jesus Christ. Even had the fiancée give them the side eye when they told her the one she wants is £170.
£170, for fucking cake. The kicker? She told me on the way home they were overpriced and she will look at alternative options.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Me and my previous girlfriend of a year and half talk about stuff like that pretty often.Anyone have experience with staying friends with an ex and telling them that you're online dating?
We both want the best for each other.
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
Anyone have experience with staying friends with an ex and telling them that you're online dating?
Yes. It doesn't happen often, and right now I'm really only close to my ex-wife. We both cheer each other on. I also talk to a girl I dated for a month back in September or so, but things never really got too serious anyway.
That's about it. Ordinarily I'd say not to remain friends. Or rather, not become friends, since you likely weren't "friends" in the first place.
Mr Solo Dolo
Member
Eh, I dont see why you can't see this girl because of your ex. Maybe dont meet her at work but otherwise your ex isn't your problem. She shouldnt be why you pass on a date.
Meeting her there isn't the problem, that can be avoided. It's the fact that (as she puts it) they're "work pals". I couldn't care less how my ex feels but I can see why it would put the new girl in an awkward situation.
they aren't going to work there forever.
But they are for the foreseeable future
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Meeting her there isn't the problem, that can be avoided. It's the fact that (as she puts it) they're "work pals". I couldn't care less how my ex feels but I can see why it would put the new girl in an awkward situation.
But they are for the foreseeable future
Yeah that's a problem.
Incendiary
Banned
I don't know if there's something wrong with me but I've never had any kind of butterflies talking to girls I've dated. After getting to know them and entering relationship, I mean.
I have. I don't think there's anything wrong with not having the butterflies, per se. But when you date someone for a few months and every time you're with them you have butterflies and everything clicks and you can't believe this person actually is choosing you to spend their free time with, it's very noticeable when you're dating someone later and those feelings are absent.
Anyone have experience with staying friends with an ex and telling them that you're online dating?
I personally don't. But I had a friend who stayed friends with his ex, and she found out he was online dating through finding his profile instead of him telling her, and it did NOT go well. It is a good barometer to test and see if your ex really just wants to be friends, though.
I could really use some advice, from anybody. Thank you in advance.
Last summer around June, i started talking to this girl but never hung out because we both were out of the state. Fast forward to September, after a little bit of not talking, and we make plans on seeing each other when we get back.
We hangout November 9th and hit it off, we spend the next week hanging out. Everything is going good but then about 3-4 weeks into it, she tells me about this other guy (Guy B) who she's trying to distance herself from. I knew about him before she told me but this confirmed he was important. We had a lot of talks about it. There was Guy A as well but he didn't matter.
Fast forward another couple weeks, she hangs out with Guy B for the "last time" so he could get closure. She goes ghost for 24 hours because she was afraid to tell me what she did. She tells me things changed and she realized she didn't want to cut him out of her life. Fast forward a week, i tell myself that she made her choice, i don't want to deal with that.
So i start hanging out with an old friend. Things move quicker than i expected and she ends up catching feelings for me, which i did too a little bit, she's a sweet girls who respects me more than Girl #1.
And then another week goes by, christmas passes out, and Girl #1 tells me she "cut both of them" out of her life and that she truly wants to be with me. Cool. I blew off Girl #1 on NYE to hang with Girl #2 but i kind of regret it because it gave a wrong impression to #2.
The problem for me is, Girl #2 wants a relationship. Girl #1 wants a relationship **but** she tells me last night that she's been talking to Guy #1 because she felt sad when they weren't friends and she's a little happier that he's back in her life. This irritated me to the max. We had a blowing out last night but agree to talk about everything later tonight, for good or bad. She also responds to Guy #2 sometimes when he texts her because she wants to be on "good terms" with him.
She asked me if i'm trying to dictate who she talks to and i'm not really. I just view this as sort of a respect issue. If i have problems with you talking to someone you had relations with in the past, and you care about me, wouldn't you respect my wish and cease communication? Or am i being too controlling and having personal problems? I wanted to be with Girl #1 originally but i fear that these little things we had thrown at us is a solid indicator of our relationship would be. On the other hand, Girl #2 shows me mutual respect and treats me good but i don't know if i see myself being as happy as i would with Girl #1.
I need to make a decision fast because i don't want to keep dragging people along for nothing.
TLDR: Statted talking to a girl, she had a love triangle going on, i eventually distanced myself, she tells me she wants to be with me, i start having feelings for an old friends, but i really want to be with the original girl who did my wrong but she's still talking with the triangle guys as "friends" because they "bond". Also, original girl is going to start working at my job in a couple weeks.. so.
Last summer around June, i started talking to this girl but never hung out because we both were out of the state. Fast forward to September, after a little bit of not talking, and we make plans on seeing each other when we get back.
We hangout November 9th and hit it off, we spend the next week hanging out. Everything is going good but then about 3-4 weeks into it, she tells me about this other guy (Guy B) who she's trying to distance herself from. I knew about him before she told me but this confirmed he was important. We had a lot of talks about it. There was Guy A as well but he didn't matter.
Fast forward another couple weeks, she hangs out with Guy B for the "last time" so he could get closure. She goes ghost for 24 hours because she was afraid to tell me what she did. She tells me things changed and she realized she didn't want to cut him out of her life. Fast forward a week, i tell myself that she made her choice, i don't want to deal with that.
So i start hanging out with an old friend. Things move quicker than i expected and she ends up catching feelings for me, which i did too a little bit, she's a sweet girls who respects me more than Girl #1.
And then another week goes by, christmas passes out, and Girl #1 tells me she "cut both of them" out of her life and that she truly wants to be with me. Cool. I blew off Girl #1 on NYE to hang with Girl #2 but i kind of regret it because it gave a wrong impression to #2.
The problem for me is, Girl #2 wants a relationship. Girl #1 wants a relationship **but** she tells me last night that she's been talking to Guy #1 because she felt sad when they weren't friends and she's a little happier that he's back in her life. This irritated me to the max. We had a blowing out last night but agree to talk about everything later tonight, for good or bad. She also responds to Guy #2 sometimes when he texts her because she wants to be on "good terms" with him.
She asked me if i'm trying to dictate who she talks to and i'm not really. I just view this as sort of a respect issue. If i have problems with you talking to someone you had relations with in the past, and you care about me, wouldn't you respect my wish and cease communication? Or am i being too controlling and having personal problems? I wanted to be with Girl #1 originally but i fear that these little things we had thrown at us is a solid indicator of our relationship would be. On the other hand, Girl #2 shows me mutual respect and treats me good but i don't know if i see myself being as happy as i would with Girl #1.
I need to make a decision fast because i don't want to keep dragging people along for nothing.
TLDR: Statted talking to a girl, she had a love triangle going on, i eventually distanced myself, she tells me she wants to be with me, i start having feelings for an old friends, but i really want to be with the original girl who did my wrong but she's still talking with the triangle guys as "friends" because they "bond". Also, original girl is going to start working at my job in a couple weeks.. so.
I personally don't. But I had a friend who stayed friends with his ex, and she found out he was online dating through finding his profile instead of him telling her, and it did NOT go well. It is a good barometer to test and see if your ex really just wants to be friends, though.
Yeah...I'm a little worried about that happening, I broke up with her so it wasn't really mutual and I know it'll hurt her either way
Advocatus Diaboli
Member
I could really use some advice, from anybody.
Last summer around June, i started talking to this girl but never hung out because we both were out of the state. Fast forward to September, after a little bit of not talking, and we make plans on seeing each other when we get back.
We hangout November 9th and hit it off, we spend the next week hanging out. Everything is going good but then about 3-4 weeks into it, she tells me about this other guy (Guy B) who she's trying to distance herself from. I knew about him before she told me but this confirmed he was important. We had a lot of talks about it. There was Guy A as well but he didn't matter.
Fast forward another couple weeks, she hangs out with Guy B for the "last time" so he could get closure. She goes ghost for 24 hours because she was afraid to tell me what she did. She tells me things changed and she realized she didn't want to cut him out of her life. Fast forward a week, i tell myself that she made her choice, i don't want to deal with that.
So i start hanging out with an old friend. Things move quicker than i expected and she ends up catching feelings for me, which i did too a little bit, she's a sweet girls who respects me more than Girl #1.
And then another week goes by, christmas passes out, and Girl #1 tells me she "cut both of them" out of her life and that she truly wants to be with me. Cool. I blew off Girl #1 on NYE to hang with Girl #2 but i kind of regret it because it gave a wrong impression to #2.
The problem for me is, Girl #2 wants a relationship. Girl #1 wants a relationship **but** she tells me last night that she's been talking to Guy #1 because she felt sad when they weren't friends and she's a little happier that he's back in her life. This irritated me to the max. We had a blowing out last night but agree to talk about everything later tonight, for good or bad. She also responds to Guy #2 sometimes when he texts her because she wants to be on "good terms" with him.
She asked me if i'm trying to dictate who she talks to and i'm not really. I just view this as sort of a respect issue. If i have problems with you talking to someone you had relations with in the past, and you care about me, wouldn't you respect my wish and cease communication? Or am i being too controlling and having personal problems? I wanted to be with Girl #1 originally but i fear that these little things we had thrown at us is a solid indicator of our relationship would be. On the other hand, Girl #2 shows me mutual respect and treats me good but i don't know if i see myself being as happy as i would with Girl #1.
I need to make a decision fast because i don't want to keep dragging people along for nothing.
The more paragraphs you write about a girl you're not even dating the faster you should run away.
By this logic, you know your answer.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I could really use some advice, from anybody. Thank you in advance. Quote to see the post.
Last summer around June, i started talking to this girl but never hung out because we both were out of the state. Fast forward to September, after a little bit of not talking, and we make plans on seeing each other when we get back.
We hangout November 9th and hit it off, we spend the next week hanging out. Everything is going good but then about 3-4 weeks into it, she tells me about this other guy (Guy B) who she's trying to distance herself from. I knew about him before she told me but this confirmed he was important. We had a lot of talks about it. There was Guy A as well but he didn't matter.
Fast forward another couple weeks, she hangs out with Guy B for the "last time" so he could get closure. She goes ghost for 24 hours because she was afraid to tell me what she did. She tells me things changed and she realized she didn't want to cut him out of her life. Fast forward a week, i tell myself that she made her choice, i don't want to deal with that.
So i start hanging out with an old friend. Things move quicker than i expected and she ends up catching feelings for me, which i did too a little bit, she's a sweet girls who respects me more than Girl #1.
And then another week goes by, christmas passes out, and Girl #1 tells me she "cut both of them" out of her life and that she truly wants to be with me. Cool. I blew off Girl #1 on NYE to hang with Girl #2 but i kind of regret it because it gave a wrong impression to #2.
The problem for me is, Girl #2 wants a relationship. Girl #1 wants a relationship **but** she tells me last night that she's been talking to Guy #1 because she felt sad when they weren't friends and she's a little happier that he's back in her life. This irritated me to the max. We had a blowing out last night but agree to talk about everything later tonight, for good or bad. She also responds to Guy #2 sometimes when he texts her because she wants to be on "good terms" with him.
She asked me if i'm trying to dictate who she talks to and i'm not really. I just view this as sort of a respect issue. If i have problems with you talking to someone you had relations with in the past, and you care about me, wouldn't you respect my wish and cease communication? Or am i being too controlling and having personal problems? I wanted to be with Girl #1 originally but i fear that these little things we had thrown at us is a solid indicator of our relationship would be. On the other hand, Girl #2 shows me mutual respect and treats me good but i don't know if i see myself being as happy as i would with Girl #1.
I need to make a decision fast because i don't want to keep dragging people along for nothing.
Girl 2 or none at all should be your decision. Cut girl 1 from your life and apologize to girl 2 for not doing so sooner.
The more paragraphs you write about a girl you're not even dating the faster you should run away.
By this logic, you know your answer.
Yeah... you're right. The issue though is that i have actual legitimate feelings for this girl and it sucks that she talks one thing but doesn't always prove it. Actions speak louder than words. I don't want to walk away, as sad as it sounds
Miles Quaritch
Member
I remember I found out my girlfriend was no longer my girlfriend when I came back from a summer holiday with my family and she had a new boyfriend. To be fair I'd had a girlfriend that week that I met in the campsite entertainment center disco. so I wasn't that bothered. Also I was 13.
Hah! I can't remember if I had any girlfriends at that age. I do remember a quick petting session outside of the disco.
Yes, disco! Fuck anyone who tries to mock. Disco's were the shit back in the day.
I am not kidding about costco cake. I've heard of people who've done that.
I've seen their cakes and they do look decent. Hmm, think I'm going to suggest this and see how it goes.
I mean, £170 for fucking cake? What the fuck are they thinking? That shit shouldn't cost more than £50. £60 tops For £170 you better give me something special, I've had better tasting cupcakes for fuck sake.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Yeah... you're right. The issue though is that i have actual legitimate feelings for this girl and it sucks that she talks one thing but doesn't always prove it. Actions speak louder than words. I don't want to walk away, as sad as it sounds
Girl 2 doesn't deserve this.
Girl 2 doesn't deserve this.
I know she doesn't. I was totally content with commiting to her and walking away from 1 and then Girl #1 hopped back in and acted like everything was perfect, she wanted me. but then she missed her old friends and that hurts me to the point that i don't want it in my life (this is after our big fight last night).
The only thing to note, is that girl 2 knows about 1 and wants me to block her, etc. because according to her she treated me "like shit".
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
I know she doesn't. I was totally content with commiting to her and walking away from 1 and then Girl #1 hopped back in and acted like everything was perfect, she wanted me. but then she missed her old friends and that hurts me to the point that i don't want it in my life (this is after our big fight last night).
The only thing to note, is that girl 2 knows about 1 and wants me to block her, etc. because according to her she treated me "like shit".
Girl 2 is right and you're not far from losing her from the sound of it.
Okay so this sounds similar to what happened to me. Except I didn't have a girl #2. Love triangle, etc etc. We got serious pretty quick and everything felt awesome until I found out she was sexting her ex and another guy she'd met in a foreign country she had been to a few months ago. Too bad, I thought she was perfect as we had all the same interests.Yeah... you're right. The issue though is that i have actual legitimate feelings for this girl and it sucks that she talks one thing but doesn't always prove it. Actions speak louder than words. I don't want to walk away, as sad as it sounds
Just cut her off. Tell girl #2 how you feel and don't lead her on.
Edit: Yes you've been treated like shit. Same with me and it doesn't become clear until after the fact.
Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well. This is the first time I've posted on this thread, but there's something that has been bothering me for a while now. So, I've been using Tinder for some time now and I've had a few matches, even got a few numbers too. Now, the problem I'm having is my height. I'm 5'4" or 1.63m (my country uses the metric system), but that's not something that bothers me a lot.
The thing is that Tinder is a physical attraction kind of app (at least in the beginning) not to mention many girls may be taller than me, which may be a turn off for them. However, since people won't know my height in Tinder, it's kind of a bet every time I meet a girl.
So what could I do to deal with this? Should I put my height in my bio? But that could result in getting less matches too. Or perhaps the app just isn't for me? I mean, I have confidence that I'm not ugly at least lol
On a side note, I'm worrying about this because in one of these dates the girl was slightly taller than me. It was really awkward because she didn't talk much.
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
The thing is that Tinder is a physical attraction kind of app (at least in the beginning) not to mention many girls may be taller than me, which may be a turn off for them. However, since people won't know my height in Tinder, it's kind of a bet every time I meet a girl.
So what could I do to deal with this? Should I put my height in my bio? But that could result in getting less matches too. Or perhaps the app just isn't for me? I mean, I have confidence that I'm not ugly at least lol
On a side note, I'm worrying about this because in one of these dates the girl was slightly taller than me. It was really awkward because she didn't talk much.
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
I know she doesn't. I was totally content with commiting to her and walking away from 1 and then Girl #1 hopped back in and acted like everything was perfect, she wanted me. but then she missed her old friends and that hurts me to the point that i don't want it in my life (this is after our big fight last night).
The only thing to note, is that girl 2 knows about 1 and wants me to block her, etc. because according to her she treated me "like shit".
What was the relationship between Guys 1&2 and Girl 1? You're putting girl 2 through the exact same shit Girl 1 put you through.
Incendiary
Banned
I know she doesn't. I was totally content with commiting to her and walking away from 1 and then Girl #1 hopped back in and acted like everything was perfect, she wanted me. but then she missed her old friends and that hurts me to the point that i don't want it in my life (this is after our big fight last night).
The only thing to note, is that girl 2 knows about 1 and wants me to block her, etc. because according to her she treated me "like shit".
Girl #2 all the way. Doesn't matter how you feel about #1 - she clearly doesn't respect you or your time. She's waffling because she wants to hold on to her past at the same time as going into the future, and that's not fair to you. On top of that, everything you said points to her dropping you if any guy she's more interested in wants to take her back. You're the consolation prize to her and you deserve better than that.
Meanwhile you're doing the exact same thing to Girl #2. Cut #1 out or you'll lose both, probably.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well. This is the first time I've posted on this thread, but there's something that has been bothering me for a while now. So, I've been using Tinder for some time now and I've had a few matches, even got a few numbers too. Now, the problem I'm having is my height. I'm 5'4" or 1.63m (my country uses the metric system), but that's not something that bothers me a lot.
The thing is that Tinder is a physical attraction kind of app (at least in the beginning) not to mention many girls may be taller than me, which may be a turn off for them. However, since people won't know my height in Tinder, it's kind of a bet every time I meet a girl.
So what could I do to deal with this? Should I put my height in my bio? But that could result in getting less matches too. Or perhaps the app just isn't for me? I mean, I have confidence that I'm not ugly at least lol
On a side note, I'm worrying about this because in one of these dates the girl was slightly taller than me. It was really awkward because she didn't talk much.
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
Why not bring it up after matching but before setting up a date?
What was the relationship between Guys 1&2 and Girl 1? You're putting girl 2 through the exact same shit Girl 1 put you through.
Guys 1 & 2 were actually best friends.. She hung out with guy 1 first and ultimately met 2 through him. Both guys actually had their own little fight between them over this girl.
Your Entertainer
Member
Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well. This is the first time I've posted on this thread, but there's something that has been bothering me for a while now. So, I've been using Tinder for some time now and I've had a few matches, even got a few numbers too. Now, the problem I'm having is my height. I'm 5'4" or 1.63m (my country uses the metric system), but that's not something that bothers me a lot.
The thing is that Tinder is a physical attraction kind of app (at least in the beginning) not to mention many girls may be taller than me, which may be a turn off for them. However, since people won't know my height in Tinder, it's kind of a bet every time I meet a girl.
So what could I do to deal with this? Should I put my height in my bio? But that could result in getting less matches too. Or perhaps the app just isn't for me? I mean, I have confidence that I'm not ugly at least lol
On a side note, I'm worrying about this because in one of these dates the girl was slightly taller than me. It was really awkward because she didn't talk much.
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
Don't put it in your profile. If they ask, be honest. If they're gonna rule you out for it early on, it saves everyone time to know that upfront anyways.
Incendiary
Banned
Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well. This is the first time I've posted on this thread, but there's something that has been bothering me for a while now. So, I've been using Tinder for some time now and I've had a few matches, even got a few numbers too. Now, the problem I'm having is my height. I'm 5'4" or 1.63m (my country uses the metric system), but that's not something that bothers me a lot.
The thing is that Tinder is a physical attraction kind of app (at least in the beginning) not to mention many girls may be taller than me, which may be a turn off for them. However, since people won't know my height in Tinder, it's kind of a bet every time I meet a girl.
So what could I do to deal with this? Should I put my height in my bio? But that could result in getting less matches too. Or perhaps the app just isn't for me? I mean, I have confidence that I'm not ugly at least lol
On a side note, I'm worrying about this because in one of these dates the girl was slightly taller than me. It was really awkward because she didn't talk much.
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
I'm 5'8" and kept running into Tinder profiles that said stuff like "6'0" and over please," etc. So I made my profile tongue and cheek and put "If you have a height requirement, I'm probably too short for you."
Still got plenty of matches after I did that, and it helped ease the worry that I'd end up matched with a girl who had arbitrary height issues. So yeah, I'd just recommend putting something fun in your profile over a matter-of-fact "this is my height" statement.
Messofanego
Banned
I could really use some advice, from anybody. Thank you in advance.
Last summer around June, i started talking to this girl but never hung out because we both were out of the state. Fast forward to September, after a little bit of not talking, and we make plans on seeing each other when we get back.
We hangout November 9th and hit it off, we spend the next week hanging out. Everything is going good but then about 3-4 weeks into it, she tells me about this other guy (Guy B) who she's trying to distance herself from. I knew about him before she told me but this confirmed he was important. We had a lot of talks about it. There was Guy A as well but he didn't matter.
Fast forward another couple weeks, she hangs out with Guy B for the "last time" so he could get closure. She goes ghost for 24 hours because she was afraid to tell me what she did. She tells me things changed and she realized she didn't want to cut him out of her life. Fast forward a week, i tell myself that she made her choice, i don't want to deal with that.
So i start hanging out with an old friend. Things move quicker than i expected and she ends up catching feelings for me, which i did too a little bit, she's a sweet girls who respects me more than Girl #1.
And then another week goes by, christmas passes out, and Girl #1 tells me she "cut both of them" out of her life and that she truly wants to be with me. Cool. I blew off Girl #1 on NYE to hang with Girl #2 but i kind of regret it because it gave a wrong impression to #2.
The problem for me is, Girl #2 wants a relationship. Girl #1 wants a relationship **but** she tells me last night that she's been talking to Guy #1 because she felt sad when they weren't friends and she's a little happier that he's back in her life. This irritated me to the max. We had a blowing out last night but agree to talk about everything later tonight, for good or bad. She also responds to Guy #2 sometimes when he texts her because she wants to be on "good terms" with him.
She asked me if i'm trying to dictate who she talks to and i'm not really. I just view this as sort of a respect issue. If i have problems with you talking to someone you had relations with in the past, and you care about me, wouldn't you respect my wish and cease communication? Or am i being too controlling and having personal problems? I wanted to be with Girl #1 originally but i fear that these little things we had thrown at us is a solid indicator of our relationship would be. On the other hand, Girl #2 shows me mutual respect and treats me good but i don't know if i see myself being as happy as i would with Girl #1.
I need to make a decision fast because i don't want to keep dragging people along for nothing.
TLDR: Statted talking to a girl, she had a love triangle going on, i eventually distanced myself, she tells me she wants to be with me, i start having feelings for an old friends, but i really want to be with the original girl who did my wrong but she's still talking with the triangle guys as "friends" because they "bond". Also, original girl is going to start working at my job in a couple weeks.. so.
What's the dilemma here? Stay with Girl #2. She likes you, you like her, and doesn't have baggage unlike Girl #1. You ain't got time for Girl #1 to get over both guys, that just sounds like a mess.
Guys 1 & 2 were actually best friends.. She hung out with guy 1 first and ultimately met 2 through him. Both guys actually had their own little fight between them over this girl.
They "hung out" or "were fuckin"? You wanting a girl to not talk to platonic male friends "out of respect" does make you a jerk. If they're exes, it's a lot muddier, but at minimum your believes aren't in synch. That's a pretty big negative for a relationship.
efyu_lemonardo
May I have a cookie?
What's the dilemma here? Stay with Girl #2. She likes you, you like her, and doesn't have baggage unlike Girl #1. You ain't got time for Girl #1 to get over both guys, that just sounds like a mess.
It doesn't sound like a dilemma so much as emotional baggage getting in the way of making the right decision.
Probably something a lot of us are familiar with.
Miles Quaritch
Member
I'd say neither. #2 is the safe option and you've already said you won't be as happy. Why be with someone who doesn't make you as happy you feel you should be.
You're using her so you don't end with alone and I'm almost 100 per cent sure you'll fuck with her emotions/feelings because #1 ain't going anywhere from the sounds of it.
If you really wanted #2, you wouldn't need advice. You'd know what to do.
You're using her so you don't end with alone and I'm almost 100 per cent sure you'll fuck with her emotions/feelings because #1 ain't going anywhere from the sounds of it.
If you really wanted #2, you wouldn't need advice. You'd know what to do.
What was the relationship between Guys 1&2 and Girl 1? You're putting girl 2 through the exact same shit Girl 1 put you through.
I can see that now. I knew i was dragging her along in the beginning in the hopes of something changing but then i grew an attachment to her.
Girl #2 all the way. Doesn't matter how you feel about #1 - she clearly doesn't respect you or your time. She's waffling because she wants to hold on to her past at the same time as going into the future, and that's not fair to you. On top of that, everything you said points to her dropping you if any guy she's more interested in wants to take her back. You're the consolation prize to her and you deserve better than that.
Meanwhile you're doing the exact same thing to Girl #2. Cut #1 out or you'll lose both, probably.
My biggest thing that i talked to girl #2 with about girl #1 is that i felt disrespected. She's kind of petty and likes to play off my reactions so when i'm upset, that makes her upset, if i don't reply when i'm upset, she won't reply, etc. Maybe it's little games like that should've told me to leave a long time ago. Maybe it was the fact that she told me she wanted to date one of the other guys before she came back and changed her mind. I always viewed myself as a safe choice in case these 2 guys don't work out but i didn't want to believe it. I guess i really was just that the entire time.
I'd say neither. #2 is the safe option and you've already said you won't be as happy. Why be with someone who doesn't make you as happy you feel you should be.
You're using her so you don't end with alone and I'm almost 100 per cent sure you'll fuck with her emotions/feelings because #1 ain't going anywhere from the sounds of it.
If you really wanted #2, you wouldn't need advice. You'd know what to do.
To be honest, i think i'm telling myself i wouldn't be as happy in the hopes that girl 1 really isn't a mess and actually respects me. If i take her for what she is, i have just as a good time with girl 2 and she respects me greatly. To make it fully work, i have to get #1 out of my life or at least put her as a "friend"/soon to be coworker
They "hung out" or "were fuckin"? You wanting a girl to not talk to platonic male friends "out of respect" does make you a jerk. If they're exes, it's a lot muddier, but at minimum your believes aren't in synch. That's a pretty big negative for a relationship.
She thought they were gonna hangout but after "hanging out" a few times, she realized that he just wanted to fuck, i think. And then the second dude, i think they were probably fucking/hanging out/maybe getting serious but she had told me that the guy she liked told her before he wasn't ready anything due to being "emotionally unstable". She kept at it tho because he did. In the end, they became plantonic "friends" while she was talking to his friend (guy 2) and became "friends" with guy 2 after they went through a 3 day texting phase of her telling him she doesn't think they should talk anymore.
ZackieChan
Member
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
You should date Thai and Filipino girls
Only half joking
Daria, you are the backup guy and Girl #2 is your backup girl.
Don't put anything. Or if you do, say you share the same height as the all-time greats, Mozart and Beethoven, Picasso, and more importantly, Stalin.Hey everyone, I hope you're all doing well. This is the first time I've posted on this thread, but there's something that has been bothering me for a while now. So, I've been using Tinder for some time now and I've had a few matches, even got a few numbers too. Now, the problem I'm having is my height. I'm 5'4" or 1.63m (my country uses the metric system), but that's not something that bothers me a lot.
The thing is that Tinder is a physical attraction kind of app (at least in the beginning) not to mention many girls may be taller than me, which may be a turn off for them. However, since people won't know my height in Tinder, it's kind of a bet every time I meet a girl.
So what could I do to deal with this? Should I put my height in my bio? But that could result in getting less matches too. Or perhaps the app just isn't for me? I mean, I have confidence that I'm not ugly at least lol
On a side note, I'm worrying about this because in one of these dates the girl was slightly taller than me. It was really awkward because she didn't talk much.
So, should I state my height outright, keep going as usual until we meet up or just stop using Tinder? Thank you all in advance.
always crazy bacon
Banned
She thought they were gonna hangout but after "hanging out" a few times, she realized that he just wanted to fuck, i think. And then the second dude, i think they were probably fucking/hanging out/maybe getting serious but she had told me that the guy she liked told her before he wasn't ready anything due to being "emotionally unstable". She kept at it tho because he did. In the end, they became plantonic "friends" while she was talking to his friend (guy 2) and became "friends" with guy 2 after they went through a 3 day texting phase of her telling him she doesn't think they should talk anymore.
Why are you inviting all this drama into your life? Do you want advice or justification for what you are getting yourself into?
Daria, you are the backup guy and Girl #2 is your backup girl.
Don't put anything. Or if you do, say you share the same height as the all-time greats, Mozart and Beethoven, Picasso, and more importantly, Stalin.
I would do this
Daria, you already know what the deal is here. I'm guessing Girl 1 is super hot or up your alley. There will be other girls, even if not Girl 2, that come into your life for which you'll feel those strong emotions that also respect you as a potential partner. Girl 1 is not that person.
So cut the shit with her and see how things go with Girl 2. Or if you don't want do, go back to the drawing board. It's better than clinging onto the hope that Girl 1 doesn't become fickle in her love life again after "choosing" you.
So cut the shit with her and see how things go with Girl 2. Or if you don't want do, go back to the drawing board. It's better than clinging onto the hope that Girl 1 doesn't become fickle in her love life again after "choosing" you.
Incendiary
Banned
Don't put anything. Or if you do, say you share the same height as the all-time greats, Mozart and Beethoven, Picasso, and more importantly, Stalin.
Don't forget Napoleon.
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