Sanky Panky
Banned
That might have been it. Without too many details, why was it mediocre? from her part? your part? If the thing bringing her around was the hooking up with no ties, if it's no longer fun then there is not much hope.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
- Start date
- Status
That might have been it. Without too many details, why was it mediocre? from her part? your part? If the thing bringing her around was the hooking up with no ties, if it's no longer fun then there is not much hope.
theignoramus
Member
It was my fault. I'll wait until tomorrow before I start drawing conclusions. I wasnt given much indication I was being looked at as just a fuck toy though, there was movies and cuddling and shit prior to it.
Who was it? Soultron? Saying it's better when a girl rejects you because then you know 100% that it ends there, no wondering or waiting. Totally right. I've discovered on online dating(kinda hard by the way though I've spoken to a couple so far) that I'd much rather a "thanks but no thanks" to nothing at all. Like fuck, I come across your profile, write a message, send it, no reply, no comment, nothing. Pffft, forget you girl. I don't like that aspect of online dating. It's so impersonal. Here are some stats, a pic, go.
SMT
this show is not Breaking Bad why is it not Breaking Bad? it should be Breaking Bad dammit Breaking Bad
The irony of this is I'm listening to Slayer, and read his comment. lol
Very interested in hearing this secret.
Yeah, I'd rather very much this were the case, as then you know which park the ball is in.
SpectreFire
Member
What the fuck. Are you me?
Just talk about class.
"Hey, you're from [name of class] right? What did you think of readings this week?" Etc etc.
Yeah, something I've learned over time, is just talk about SOMETHING, anything. It's like getting your foot in the door, then if you can flow the conversation, it really doesn't matter what the content was at first. Just talk to her and smile.
completely agree.
Online dating is tough though. I completely agree a thanks but no thanks would be much preferable. On the other hand I look at it from the girls perspective she probably gets 20 or messages a day if she has decent photos and looks good.
This is the plan but it is almost going to be impossible to not look desperate unless I catch her before the lecture. At the end she will be zooming off and I have to either run or walk briskly to catch up.
Haha apparently I'm being stalked on here. You should move on. I'm doing my best to do so. I've got no more time to spend arguing with you. If I'm wrong, then I'm wrong, but nothing in the month of January gave me any inclination that I was wrong to trust my judgement. "Peace."
SMT
this show is not Breaking Bad why is it not Breaking Bad? it should be Breaking Bad dammit Breaking Bad
Creepy dude, they followed you all the way here? They must have been here before. Oh wait, you know her.
This is the only place I posted any relevant info since I'd rather not air out my dirty laundry to everyone I know. The slight anonymity around here is good for letting loose, despite the fact that I do know some people on here in real life. In any case, it's no big deal. Time for both of us to move on.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Been there. It cost me a relationship. That's why I am way more anonymous around here
I'm not on this board to be totally anonymous anyway. I alway choose my name or variation of my name in anything I ever do/register. I know stuff posted here is public. I wouldn't post anything 100% personal in here, but in the spirit of this thread, I opened up a little more than usual. No regrets about it, and not changing anything anytime soon. It's a fun and informative thread, and if I can help out anywhere, I'm more than happy to.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I understand. When I was a regular around here, I wanted to inspire people with my experience, and I was 100% sincere and in the open, but I still got shit.
SpectreFire
Member
Why don't you sit your ass next to her DURING lecture?
SpectreFire
Member
EDIT: Wrong thread
Well I don't know any good motel here in Sweden (or in Stockholm), but it's best if you look it up online or maybe someone else here in GAF that lives in Stockholm can help you out.
So why Sweden of all places?
Nothing you can do, he likes ponies, his favourite song is Gee by SNSD and he plays BF3 8 hours a day.
CF_Fighter
Member
So I started chatting with this really cool and cute chick yesterday on OKC. Got her #, but she is out of town until Monday so we're gonna get together next week.
Date tonight with a gorgeous cool chick. A few years older than me, but no problem. Plus she's got a sexy S. African accentI'm actually kind of nervous/excited, but I'm sure it will go well.
She's nervous and excited too. Knowing that, the playing field is level. Have fun!
smokeandmirrors
Banned
Sending this girl flowers, the only issue I have is coming up with good message to send with it. I know I'm over thinking it... Something like a simple "Just 'cause "?
And would be sending them on valentines day be too cliche? Debating on having them sent either the monday before or the friday before
"?And would be sending them on valentines day be too cliche? Debating on having them sent either the monday before or the friday before
I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
Most likely it's not that you are repulsive. It's that your attitude is repulsive, which permeates into your demeanor. Which comes through in how you say things. This seems to be the root of your problems, and until you can work on that and "fix" it, you won't make any progress. Work on changing yourself into a person you like and others will like you.
Yeah, I'm trying to keep that in mind. I am looking forward to it, it should be a nice evening. Rooftop bar in Santa Monica should help set the right environment
Almond
Member
I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
I don't want to sound harsh, but it probably is your attitude even when you don't realize it. I've seen you post before and a lot of people, not just girls, could be put off by that. I know I would be.
I know because apparently I exude some sort of negative attitude too, at least that's what I've been told and I don't even realize it. So I'm trying to work on it.
I wish you luck and try not to be too down.
I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
Look, Kinggi, I'm in no way saying you're not entitled to post here. But are you going to at least make an effort to change what's not working or are you going to continue to post negative stuff like this? It's all you really do now. You're not taking advice from the people who're trying to help you. You're not even saying, "Dudes, I messed up this today, how can I do better next time?"
You're paralleling Combine circa 2010 right now.
The "I'm going to kill myself" shit is also really making me think about throwing you on my ignore list, to be honest.
It's awesome when you message a girl on OKcupid and she leaves the site the next day.
I feel like I did it because the message I sent was fucking epic.
I think it's better to calm yourself and focus on doing what makes you happy. I know it's easier said than done but a happy attitude and demeanor will make things better. Ignore all you couldn't get or achieve in the past, it's meaningless, just work to make sure your life moves at the way you want it to.
I feel like I did it because the message I sent was fucking epic.
I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
I think it's better to calm yourself and focus on doing what makes you happy. I know it's easier said than done but a happy attitude and demeanor will make things better. Ignore all you couldn't get or achieve in the past, it's meaningless, just work to make sure your life moves at the way you want it to.
luckyboyceo
Member
The bolded is something you should be proud of. You act like there's nothing interesting about you at all but just going to the gym sets you apart from a large percentage of GAF and people in general.I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
You're not as helpless as you think you are.
My baseline personality is fucked. I have done everything i could have to improve my situation over the past 4 years thinking that if i just reached those goals things would turn around for me. Basically all the basic advice given in this thread for people in those situations. I've got my own place, i have a job, I used to be overweight and now im not and am becoming muscular. I got a whole new wardrobe. New haircut. Fuckin nothing has happened cause none of that shit seems to matter.
I over-analyze everything and i am constantly nervous and anxious and am too self-aware of my problems it is literally impossible to get a worthwhile thought in my head. There's no fixing that its just who i am. I become so overwhelmed that the only way to relax is become non-aggressive and passive on everything. Im very quiet and its how i make it through the day. I refuse to take meds cause i took those in my teenage years for severe depression and i think they made things worse.
The most positive i have ever been was right at the moment i had reached my weightloss goal. I signed up to okcupid and managed to get a date with a girl. At the time i was just thinking all my hard work is now paying off look how great! Well turns out the whole week of that first date i was a total wreck. Anxiety out the ass. All day every day. I had to drink to overcome the tension and show up. Then i managed to get a second date. Here im thinking ok i went through that torture the next time will be better. No it was just as bad and my personality wouldnt let me have fun. It just became an acting gig where i try to act as normal as possible.
The worst thing was i dont think we were even into each other that much. The realization that i have this nightmare journey of endless uncomfortable dates to maybe get lucky and find someone just blew my mind and then i hit rock bottom and now i have to muster up everything i can just to maintain going to the gym, cause i dont see the point anymore.
AdventureRacing
Member
You really need to seek some professional help (assuming you aren't already).. It sounds like you have some major anxiety issues and they won't just go away. No amount of advice in this thread is going to fix your problems. (not saying you shouldn't read or that people shouldn't give it).
You also need to be putting so much weight on getting a partner. You need to deal with the real problem in your life and that's your extreme anxiety.
You also need to be putting so much weight on getting a partner. You need to deal with the real problem in your life and that's your extreme anxiety.
Hydrogen Bluebird
Member
For dudes in a relationship, do you guys think that a lot of women you actually see in person are hotter than your gf? Or are you pretty satisfied w/ her in the looks department?
BronzeWolf
Banned
OK, girl and I are on speaking terms again.
She told me she was having a very rough time. I told her that she was forbidden from leaving me out. We conversed quite some over the day. I gave her some twinkies so she can sweet that depression out. She loved it. This sounds like classic friendzone story, but through the whole thing I am working my butt off to escalate kino. Got as far as lower arm extended rub and lower back holding.
We are going out on Friday, she is also available on Saturday so I need to think of a cool Friday date spot (no dinner again, not doing THAT again!), thinking maybe at my place to watch some series and drink some beers and something to date-chain Saturday with, maybe photography hunting or going to the beach.
I guess we'll see what happens
I don't care for whiners anymore. I'll only help those who want to help themselves. Otherwise, I believe you are just attention seeking.
As a recovered manwhore with serious BBD syndrome (bigger better deal syndrome), I can tell you that you have to be honest with yourself. You cannot be with someone unless you think she is the best for you. To me, it was coming to the point where I realized that no matter how hot a girl was, there are so many things that I care about in a relationship. Sure, she is hot, but what is she like? does she like the same music as I do? Will she put up with my thesis writing marathons? or will she whine because I am at the lab during a whole lot of the day? You get the drill.
That's does not mean you should stay with someone just because she does X or Y as your number one priority is that she makes you happy. I will not be the one to say "Look man, she is awful to you but at least she knows how to cook right?", that shit sucks. But you never know what you'll get out from a girl (besides sex lol). She could be hot and crazy. Instant erection killer
She told me she was having a very rough time. I told her that she was forbidden from leaving me out. We conversed quite some over the day. I gave her some twinkies so she can sweet that depression out. She loved it. This sounds like classic friendzone story, but through the whole thing I am working my butt off to escalate kino. Got as far as lower arm extended rub and lower back holding.
We are going out on Friday, she is also available on Saturday so I need to think of a cool Friday date spot (no dinner again, not doing THAT again!), thinking maybe at my place to watch some series and drink some beers and something to date-chain Saturday with, maybe photography hunting or going to the beach.
I guess we'll see what happens
I feel like such shit. Im stressed, anxious, i feel ugly all the time. All my energy is expended just trying to blend in which makes me totally invisible. My work also sucks. I have a perfectionist mentality and my world is in constant flux i cant handle it anymore. Ive been trying more to try and talk to people but i cant do it. Like im at the gym today and this smoking hot girl is there. Then this buff motherfuckin dude comes in and after 10 minutes is striking up a conversation with her and she's teaching him fucking stretch moves. I just look at that and want to blow my brains out. When i see attractive people i don't think 'gee i need to take advantage of that!'. Instead i think 'ah shit there goes another thing im never getting'. I cant help it, it's been my instincts for past 10 years.
Even when i do manage to utter a 'hello' or go out of my way to hold a door or do something nice it never amounts to anything. Nobody ever seems interested in conversing with me further. I must be repulsive in some way.
I don't care for whiners anymore. I'll only help those who want to help themselves. Otherwise, I believe you are just attention seeking.
As a recovered manwhore with serious BBD syndrome (bigger better deal syndrome), I can tell you that you have to be honest with yourself. You cannot be with someone unless you think she is the best for you. To me, it was coming to the point where I realized that no matter how hot a girl was, there are so many things that I care about in a relationship. Sure, she is hot, but what is she like? does she like the same music as I do? Will she put up with my thesis writing marathons? or will she whine because I am at the lab during a whole lot of the day? You get the drill.
That's does not mean you should stay with someone just because she does X or Y as your number one priority is that she makes you happy. I will not be the one to say "Look man, she is awful to you but at least she knows how to cook right?", that shit sucks. But you never know what you'll get out from a girl (besides sex lol). She could be hot and crazy. Instant erection killer
Ok, this isn't strictly about dating. I have another fucking cold sore. I've been getting them since I was a kid, probably once a year. This is my 2nd one in a month and a half. This is my first GF (dating for 2 months), I've gone down on her about 5 times. She is a virgin, so it isn't coming from that. It's just bugging me. I don't want to go as crazy making out with it.
Oh yeah, I'm 18 w/o health insurance. If you guys have any advice (maybe point me to another thread?), I would greatly appreciate. Just on my lip btw.. don't worry.. genitals are clean lol.
Oh yeah, I'm 18 w/o health insurance. If you guys have any advice (maybe point me to another thread?), I would greatly appreciate. Just on my lip btw.. don't worry.. genitals are clean lol.
I'm very satisfied with how my GF looks. She isn't flawless, but I think she is gorgeous. Bronze Wolf said it right though. She is great for me in so many ways, looks aren't the most important (though they can help of course).
I'm very satisfied.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Looks are key though. Your dick has to get hard for her. When my dick is so hard it starts to hurt, I know she is the one.
Exactly. I pop painful boners left and right when I'm with her, and she loves it.
Atramental
Banned
BronzeWolf
Banned
*starts bumping laptop*
Hey what's going on guys?
Hey what's going on guys?
CliqWriter
Member
Satisfied. I wouldn't make someone my girlfriend unless I was, I hope you wouldn't either.
Hydrogen Bluebird
Member
Good stuff. In terms of personality and the stuff that she likes, my gf and I are really compatible. I know that she has good taste in music, is articulate, and likes video games to some degree. And she understands my long work hours (work in a local casual game dev studio). I just can't help but feel a little down when I see women I personally know and think that they're hotter than my gf. It seems like my gf's looks isn't enough to satisfy me. I know looks aren't everything but I think I want to be w/ a girl w/ looks that will satisfy me enough. I think it's a case of me being fine w/ her looks when our relationship started but as it got longer, it didn't satisfy me anymore.
Okay that made me laugh.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Ok let's get honest here, how is the sex life going?
SpectreFire
Member
I'm going out for coffee with the cute girl who messaged me on POF. She's a little below my preferred age range (she's 19 and I'm a month removed from 23), but I'll see how she turns out.
Wish me luck boys!
Wish me luck boys!
I hate to break it to you man, but I think everyone gets this every now and then, it's not just you. I had one in December. It's typically caused by stress, so maybe something stressful caused it (well beside inheriting it genetically). That's Herpes Simplex 1. I'm not a Biology major but it's good to know these things.
Two simple things (among several other things) that you should not do while you have a cold sore. Do not make with your girl at all until it's gone. And do not go down on her. Why? It's obvious why. Because she's going to get infected. Don't share towels, tooth brushes, etc, don't touch it then proceed to touch your eyes or your genitals.
As to how to get rid of it using home remedies, you can apply an ice cube to it every day. Also put petroleum jelly on it; cold sores can get infected with bacteria. By applying a layer of petroleum jelly to it, you protect it from getting infected, and help it heal faster.
Alternatively if you have some extra cash, you can buy cold sore remedies such as Abreva that are available without needing a perscription. That's typically in the lip balm section of any pharmacy. I've never bought any of that kind of stuff because the home remedies work as if not better than any over the counter drug. The might heal it faster than say using an ice cube but that's it.
Again, do not under any circumstances kiss your girlfriend, or go down on her until it completely heals, unless you want to give her genital herpes.
I don't mean to be so hard on you, but when people are young, they tend to be more reckless (no offense to you), so don't make a dumb mistake; I'm only looking out for you (I'm 23). Also, get yourself some health insurance, especially if you're sexually active. Your health is the most important thing in the world. Since I'm assuming you live in the U.S., apply for Medicaid (yeah, yeah, health insurance for the poor; who cares?) or attend a college health fair. Chances are there will be health insurance people there offering insurance to students either for free or at a huge discount. You can also apply for Medicaid in the said college health fairs.
Any way good luck man.
- Status