Hydrogen Bluebird
Member
Good but not great I guess.
Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy
- Thread starter soultron
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Good but not great I guess.
ThisWreckage
Banned
I've decided to give up. I hate the fucking Bible Belt. Go out on a couple of dates and then the religious fanaticism rears its ugly head. Delaying your fanaticism only briefly postpones the inevitable.
Thanks a lot man. Yeah, I guess it's pretty normal. I just hate how it will cockblock me for the next 5 days or so. I'm going to try that petroleum jelly, see what that does. I need to get around to getting healthcare, definitely.
Good luck man. I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 23 and my minimum age preferred is 20 just so that they hopefully have at least some college or something under their belt. A month ago I was getting to know this 18 year old that I met and she turned out to be still stuck in the "high school" attitude for most things. It got annoying fast. There are definitely mature 18-19 year old's out there though, so I hope you get one of those!!
ConradCervantes
Banned
So the girl and I are going to a Latin American eatery on Saturday at the behest of a co-worker who lives nearby said eatery. I asked my co-workers, both females, about how the bill should be paid. They were adamant that I pick it up. Thoughts? The girl does make more at her job than I do at mine, so I wouldn't think she'd let my picking up the entire bill become a regular occurrence if we were to progress beyond Saturday night.
It's just the two of you and she knows it's a date right?
Pay the bill. If she offers to split (or doesn't let you pay the bill by yourself and insists on paying half) then she wins points. If not, she might be a little lacking in the social graces department. Also, what you said about subsequent dates is a good practise to follow.
Bucket-o-roadkill
Member
What a bizarre article for a site like that to run. More of it is down to the attractiveness of the profile pictures and then what is said in my opinion. I bet a guy who is the spitting image of Brad Pitt could message a girl about farts or something and still get a reply to be honest.
What I did before was paying it, but saying "next time it's your turn", in a playful way. It usually comes over very well and it's a way to rearrange a second date quite easy.
It's Thursday night so it's time to start this week's three night streak after the gym.It's extremely rare for me to pay for the girl on a first date. If we're at a bar or something, I just say this round's on me and you get the next. Never had a problem.
Man, I've been seriously thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend for the past few weeks. She's a great girlfriend and hasn't done anything wrong, it's just that I'm in my early 20s, I get a lot of female attention and I'm so easily tempted at the moment. I have kept faithful but I keep on seeing things as lost opportunities which can't be a good sign for a relationship.
Man, I've been seriously thinking about breaking up with my girlfriend for the past few weeks. She's a great girlfriend and hasn't done anything wrong, it's just that I'm in my early 20s, I get a lot of female attention and I'm so easily tempted at the moment. I have kept faithful but I keep on seeing things as lost opportunities which can't be a good sign for a relationship.
CF_Fighter
Member
Friend asked me today "How do you approach a girl with headphones on?" I know the headphones thing can go two ways, they are simply listening to music or they don't want to be bothered. I suggested he simply just ask what she is listening to and if the response you get has that air of being being annoyed to it then bail-out, she doesn't want to be bothered. If she seems like she is bothered than continue the conversation. He says he always catches her looking at him. I told him if he thinks she is checking him out than just go for it.
I went through a LOT of years of that only MUCH WORSE. Then, over time, the anxiety just evaporated. I wish you luck man, because that one thing is your challenge now. I do believe some day it will just pass and you will really live.
There really is something to the logic that women are attracted to guys with other girls. You drop her for no reason and you might find yourself not attracting anywhere like you used to.
BronzeWolf
Banned
I've changed my mind on paying the bill. I think it really depends on what you are looking for in a girl and how the situation develops.
The only reason I used to NOT pay for the bill is because I don't want gold diggers up my ass. I still say that paying for drinks on a bar/club is the dumbest shit you can do and that you don't need it, but then again, you are not really trying to send a message on a bar other than "hey I am available and cool so I'll meet YOU".
On a date date, though, it's another matter.
Do you want something serious? Paying the first bill is a good way of sending the message of "I can take care of myself and I can take tare of you". Even if the girl makes more than you, it doesn't matter, girls want to be taken care of, especially powerful or successful girls. I think the risk of ending up with a gold digger on a date is much lower than on a bar. Especially if you know the girl. You can easily spot gold diggers by the questions they ask of you, and the answers to certain questions about your life. Paying for the first date is a good way of saying "This is a date" instead of "This is just some friends hanging out" so it's another weapon if you are hovering too close to the friendzone.
On subsequent dates.
I don't think it's in the dude's best interest to let the girl pick up the whole bill EVER. If a girl has to pay for you, she can and will lose interest really fucking fast. Nothing says "I am dating my child" like paying for your meals. So if you are short on cash, share it with her after you foot the first bill. If she doesn't understand, she is a goldigger or an asshole, as long as you show ambition to better your financial situation.
That is why costly dates should be reserved to girls that deserve it.
BronzeWolf sayeth
You should not drop your girlfriend because other girls are attracted to you. You are with your GF by choice, because you want to. If you don't want to be with her, then break up
Just gesture her to take her headphones off. Then ask a silly question:
"yeah, you looked better with your headphones on, don't you think?"
MutantCyborg
Member
Today was a weird day.. I woke up today just sick of how I have been acting toward my ex. Just last week I was thinking of trying to getting back together with her, but today I woke up and didn't have those feelings. More of, "Why the hell am I still on this subject?", I feel so much better right now than I was for the past month... You guys were right, it just didn't hit me until now. Thank you guys!
Now onto my problem from last week... My friend told me that a friend of his had liked me for quite sometime, recently I've caught her staring at me way more than she used to, or at least I'm paying more attention now. Last weekend I was going to ask her out but some problems came up and I couldn't go out that weekend, so I never asked. I think I'm going to ask her this weekend unless something pops up again. It is supposed to be nice out, but a little cold.. Can I get some ideas, in my last post someone suggested mini-golf, which would be great but there aren't really any places around here.
Now onto my problem from last week... My friend told me that a friend of his had liked me for quite sometime, recently I've caught her staring at me way more than she used to, or at least I'm paying more attention now. Last weekend I was going to ask her out but some problems came up and I couldn't go out that weekend, so I never asked. I think I'm going to ask her this weekend unless something pops up again. It is supposed to be nice out, but a little cold.. Can I get some ideas, in my last post someone suggested mini-golf, which would be great but there aren't really any places around here.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Ice cream, photography shooting, bike riding, wine tasting, book shopping, beer sampling, creek fishing...
DON'T DO DINNER AND A MOVIE.
You know your city better than we do, you know what can be done around there
boostedcivic8
Neo Member
Long story short. My girl broke up with me a few months ago after taking a "break". I was reluctant as I don't believe in breaks. Less than a week later, she is in a relationship with another guy. To this day, I wonder how long she was talking to him while we were together.
MutantCyborg
Member
The sad part is that my city is EXTREMELY boring.. Luckily I'm about 30 minutes from Philadelphia but parking is so expensive I really don't want to go there for a first date...
Also, Movies on the first date is always a bad idea unless you two were friends for a while before. I would love something to do where we could joke around and talk the whole/majority of the time.
Perspicacity
Banned
First time posting in here, hoping someone could give me some insight.
So I've been dating/in a relationship with a girl for the past year and a half, things are generally always drama free and we’ve never had a “fight” of any sort. We usually don’t see or talk to each other more than a couple times a week, mostly due to conflicting schedules. Recently we had planned on taking a trip together, but I sort of backed away from the idea because she’s been having money issues and plans to take a semester abroad so I didn’t want her to use up a lot of money to go on a trip with me, but I neglected to mention that and she took it to mean I didn’t want to go on a vacation with her.
Lately we’ve been getting a little more distant and last night we had a long conversation wherein she told me that we don’t have a future together (this is true, I’ve never led her to believe that we’d get married or live together or any of that), and that it bothers her that our relationship isn’t all that close. I told her I wanted to be closer (she said she doesn’t feel she can call me to discuss her life, I said this wasn’t true and I’m there for her), but she was just sort of dismissive and told me there was no point as we have no future and when we do break up she doesn’t want to make it harder. I responded by telling her that even though we know our story has an ending doesn’t mean we need to end it or let things stay bad.
She doesn’t want to break up and neither do I, but how long can the relationship last with all of this out in the open?
TL;DR version: We know things are bad, she doesn't want to fix them and we both don't want to break up. What do?
EDIT: We're both 24 if that matters at all
So I've been dating/in a relationship with a girl for the past year and a half, things are generally always drama free and we’ve never had a “fight” of any sort. We usually don’t see or talk to each other more than a couple times a week, mostly due to conflicting schedules. Recently we had planned on taking a trip together, but I sort of backed away from the idea because she’s been having money issues and plans to take a semester abroad so I didn’t want her to use up a lot of money to go on a trip with me, but I neglected to mention that and she took it to mean I didn’t want to go on a vacation with her.
Lately we’ve been getting a little more distant and last night we had a long conversation wherein she told me that we don’t have a future together (this is true, I’ve never led her to believe that we’d get married or live together or any of that), and that it bothers her that our relationship isn’t all that close. I told her I wanted to be closer (she said she doesn’t feel she can call me to discuss her life, I said this wasn’t true and I’m there for her), but she was just sort of dismissive and told me there was no point as we have no future and when we do break up she doesn’t want to make it harder. I responded by telling her that even though we know our story has an ending doesn’t mean we need to end it or let things stay bad.
She doesn’t want to break up and neither do I, but how long can the relationship last with all of this out in the open?
TL;DR version: We know things are bad, she doesn't want to fix them and we both don't want to break up. What do?
EDIT: We're both 24 if that matters at all
I was lucky a week ago, me and a girl went out to a movie (her idea) the whole time I was thinking that I for sure needed to see if she wanted to go anywhere else after the movie was done. She somehow beat me to asking if I wanted to go by a bar to chat for a while.
Going out with her again tomorrow, hoping all goes well.
Omegasquash
Member
Well, if she doesn't want to fix them and you want to be closer, that's a red flag. I don't mean to be blunt, but if she's saying she doesn't feel like she can discuss things, she's starting the process now.
I was in a similar situation once. Once the break up is on the table, it's over. Once it's been discussed and acknowledged by both, it's only a matter of time before one of you becomes irritable and uses that as ammunition in an argument.
I'd say break up with her ASAP, for both your sakes. This is important because she's going abroad. She's going to be in a new place with new people and temptation is going to be high, especially when she's knows your relationship is on its last legs. If she's not into the relationship and the type to consider it, she will cheat on you. (I don't blame her in this circumstance, however, to be honest.
So why not just break up now, be on good terms with one another, and let her enjoy her semester abroad? It means you have zero chances of being cheated on since you won't be in a relationship with her anymore. Adding distance when there is indifference in a relationship is never a good combination. She's going to want new dick (she most likely already does if she's bandying a break up about so lightly), so you might as well let her enjoy it guilt-free and not get yourself hurt in the process.
Honestly, even if she wasn't going abroad, I'd still suggest breaking up ASAP. Once you're thinking about it, the best thing to do is to not delay the inevitable. Rip the bandaid off fast and it hurts less, know what I mean?
BronzeWolf
Banned
Look man, I don't want to do the dishes, but I do. Life is tough, break it up.
J-Roderton
Member
I've actually considered doing an experiment putting up 2 different profiles... both with the exact same text but with different profile pictures and compare the responses.
Hot damn. Well, I kinda saw this coming, but today I found out that my lady friend's father is a pastor. Normally that wouldn't be too much of a problem for most, but I happen to be atheist. What do, GAF? 
EDIT: To add some more detail, I'm the type of atheist who gets along with everybody of all religious affiliations rather than one who condemns all religion as the enemy. So, it could possibly work out as long as I'm careful with my words. Now I just hope her family possesses the same mentality rather than one of "convert or else."
EDIT: To add some more detail, I'm the type of atheist who gets along with everybody of all religious affiliations rather than one who condemns all religion as the enemy. So, it could possibly work out as long as I'm careful with my words. Now I just hope her family possesses the same mentality rather than one of "convert or else."
Hot Coldman
Banned
Remember duders: always double-check that a girl is single. :lol (Nothing bad happened, in case anyone is wondering, I just felt embarrassed after re-checking her FB info)
Mr. B Natural
Member
Hot damn. Well, I kinda saw this coming, but today I found out that my lady friend's father is a pastor. Normally that wouldn't be too much of a problem for most, but I happen to be atheist. What do, GAF?
Be honest without saying the "a word"
"I'm not really affiliated with a religion"
"religion isn't a big part of my life."
"Nah, I don't do go to church. My parents really didn't bring me up to believe in anything specific."
"i'm live and let live when it comes to that kind of stuff.."
etc.
But, best of all would be not bringing it up and hope they do the same. My in-laws might have figured out I'm atheist, but they certainly know I'm indifferent, because that's the truth, if more the truth, than where I categorize myself.
Sanky Panky
Banned
Sorry to say that even if she said she didn't want to break up, or kind of back-tracked on it, it simply means that maybe she feels really bad about it, and lacks some of the courage it takes to end it outright. That talk seemed like THE break-up talk, but she was extra diplomatic, and not able to close it after you reasoned with her. She was hoping that you would agree, but you didn't.
End it now, as future interactions might just be weird before the actual breakup. It's up you anyways.
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
I'm no good at meeting new people. Doesn't help that I'm stuck in bumfuck nowhere. Am I destined to be stuck with Match.com and OK Cupid the rest of my spinster life?
You can find happiness, as long as you pay for it!
You can find happiness, as long as you pay for it!
Perspicacity
Banned
It wasn't THE break-up talk, there were a lot of details missing from my description (90 minute conversation and I only hit some of the keynotes).
I had always sort of assumed that when she left would be the end point, never intended to do the long distance thing and figured we'd sort of just move on amicably from there. But yeah I'm starting to feel the humane thing to do would be to put it down as soon as possible, feedback here is confirming.
Thanks for the assistance guys, will give you an update whenever.
luckyboyceo
Member
Be careful, man. If there are other reasons for breaking up, then that's another thing, but if your sole purpose for leaving her is to pursue other women who've been giving you attention, you may want to think twice.
I actually did this to my last girlfriend. She was amazing and to this day I wish I hadn't. It's funny how the day after I dropped her, the attention I was getting from women seemed to disappear. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it's true. I ended up trying to get back with her and she had moved on. It was a bad situation.
Trust me man, don't do what I did. Best of luck.
BronzeWolf
Banned
Hot damn. Well, I kinda saw this coming, but today I found out that my lady friend's father is a pastor. Normally that wouldn't be too much of a problem for most, but I happen to be atheist. What do, GAF?
EDIT: To add some more detail, I'm the type of atheist who gets along with everybody of all religious affiliations rather than one who condemns all religion as the enemy. So, it could possibly work out as long as I'm careful with my words. Now I just hope her family possesses the same mentality rather than one of "convert or else."
I say go ahead, but this would be a test of tolerance for both of you... but never hide what you are though, being an atheist is brave and powerful stance
BronzeWolf
Banned
He will have to learn on his own. This is the kind of thing that women think differentiates between a boy and a man
The Elite
BOSS
So I've been seeing this girl for about a month. I've only actually seen her about four times but we've both been really busy. Anyways, her birthday is coming up tomorrow and she invited me to a small gathering of her friends at her place.
I pretty much feel obligated to get her something but I have no clue what to pick up. It shouldn't be something pricey and I don't know her well enough to grab something sentimental. I'd like to grab something cute and funny.
Any suggestions?
I pretty much feel obligated to get her something but I have no clue what to pick up. It shouldn't be something pricey and I don't know her well enough to grab something sentimental. I'd like to grab something cute and funny.
Any suggestions?
BronzeWolf
Banned
Is she your official girlfriend? if not, I would go with Twinkies. Anything more expensive than $5 USD and it would be weird. Besides, who doesn't love fucking Twinkies? I would work my butt off to be alone with her when you give whatever you brought, that will keep you from feeling bad if someone else gives her an iPod or something like that. Apologize for not knowing what she likes or wants.
"Look I don't know what you wanted for your birthday, but I brought you my favorite [food], I hope you enjoy it!"
Will there be alcohol involved? bring alcohol for everybody
Where's the gathering? If it's at a house, bring a decent bottle of wine. That way it's open to interpretation for her. Haha.
"You bought me wine for my birthday? You're so sweet." G-damn right I am.
"You bought me wine for my birthday? This is a bit weird." It's for everyone, girl!
You win either way!
BronzeWolf
Banned
Do what soultron says
So I've joined match.com and most of the girls there state they want the guy to be 175cm tall and I'm 169cm. Should I even bother write to them?
Also what should I say to start an conversation on the chat? Never ever written to someone on a dating site before, starting to get anxious over not knowing what to write
Also what should I say to start an conversation on the chat? Never ever written to someone on a dating site before, starting to get anxious over not knowing what to write
Roger Danish
Member
Also what should I say to start an conversation on the chat? Never ever written to someone on a dating site before, starting to get anxious over not knowing what to write
Just write something quick and simple (no more than two lines). Play off something interesting/unique about her profile, and ask her an open-ended question about it. E.g.: if she says she loves to cook, ask her if she is making any cool meals this week.
Then, move on to the next one. It's a numbers game.
Wolf you called bookshopping a date, how so? I'm not knocking you just curious what you would do.
Also if you meet a girl on her way to her lunch break and she is going to meet her friends for a normal informal lunch with them. Obviously she'll say she's going to eat with friends would you try to go with her or tell her to ditch them? And how would you say it to not offend her?
Also if you meet a girl on her way to her lunch break and she is going to meet her friends for a normal informal lunch with them. Obviously she'll say she's going to eat with friends would you try to go with her or tell her to ditch them? And how would you say it to not offend her?
How's the vegetarian girl going, by the way? I'm curious because my GF is a vegetarian and I want things to work out similarly well for you too. Haha.
The Elite
BOSS
Where's the gathering? If it's at a house, bring a decent bottle of wine. That way it's open to interpretation for her. Haha.
"You bought me wine for my birthday? You're so sweet." G-damn right I am.
"You bought me wine for my birthday? This is a bit weird." It's for everyone, girl!
You win either way!
Exactly what I was thinking. It's at her place. We've had wine once over at my apartment so I might go for something a little more pricey this time around. I don't feel bad spending a bit more if it's going to be shared amongst the group.
I might grab some twinkies too.
Women that complain about not being able to find anyone who wants to treat them like an actual person need to realize they need to stop being a brick wall when talking to them... lol.
One girl gave me her number after talking a bit, and good god it's painful trying to have a conversation with her. Leaving that one on the backburner til later...
On to the other current two who actually know how to carry a conversation.
One girl gave me her number after talking a bit, and good god it's painful trying to have a conversation with her. Leaving that one on the backburner til later...
On to the other current two who actually know how to carry a conversation.
Precisely why it's good to have options, which you do. Nice! c:
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