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[SpectreFire]

Update on coffee with POF girl. She turned out pretty amazing, different than what I had expected, for the better though. In short, she was the cute adorable geeky type that was mature for her age, and still plenty sociable. We got along fantastically. Ended up cuddling along the waterfront.

The downside though? I've run into this scenario so many times that I can pretty well write the ending to this. Spoiler alert: I somehow don't get the girl.

I also hate that when I'm smitten with a girl, I suddenly become aware of every action I make and its subsequent reaction and start overthinking things. Great trait for hockey stats, terrible trait for dating :|

 

[Hylian7]

Alright, I have just a general question. This situation hasn't come up yet, but I'm sure it probably will at some point. How best to go about hitting on a girl you see in public that you've never met before? Say on a university campus or something like that?

 

[Khalifa Jayy]

Alright, I have just a general question. This situation hasn't come up yet, but I'm sure it probably will at some point. How best to go about hitting on a girl you see in public that you've never met before? Say on a university campus or something like that?

Hey can you tell me how to get to X building? Wait so a left then a left? Then talk to her...? Or tell her you need her number so you can text her if and when you find the building.

 

[soultron]

Update on coffee with POF girl. She turned out pretty amazing, different than what I had expected, for the better though. In short, she was the cute adorable geeky type that was mature for her age, and still plenty sociable. We got along fantastically. Ended up cuddling along the waterfront.

The downside though? I've run into this scenario so many times that I can pretty well write the ending to this. Spoiler alert: I somehow don't get the girl.

I also hate that when I'm smitten with a girl, I suddenly become aware of every action I make and its subsequent reaction and start overthinking things. Great trait for hockey stats, terrible trait for dating :|

It only takes one instance to break what you perceive to be an established norm. Don't let superstition get to you or you'll get exactly what you think is coming. Don't ask for a self-fulfilling prophecy because you'll get it, in short.

Have fun with her for the time being and never expect a girl is yours unless you've officially entered into a committed relationship with her. Just focus on keeping it light and casual. Maybe the reason you've been seemingly warding off these good ones is because, like you said, you're too analytical of your own behaviour and this causes you to unnecessarily modify your behaviour. Again, just have fun with it and enjoy her company with no expectations for the future.

There are plenty of awesome girls out there if this one doesn't work out, so don't stress or put too much emphasis on this one being super-special-ultra-rare. This line of thinking always helped me out when I was trying not to get overly invested early on. It's the same line of thinking that will help you get over a break up.

 

[SpectreFire]

It only takes one instance to break what you perceive to be an established norm. Don't let superstition get to you or you'll get exactly what you think is coming. Don't ask for a self-fulfilling prophecy because you'll get it, in short.

Have fun with her for the time being and never expect a girl is yours unless you've officially entered into a committed relationship with her. Just focus on keeping it light and casual. Maybe the reason you've been seemingly warding off these good ones is because, like you said, you're too analytical of your own behaviour and this causes you to unnecessarily modify your behaviour. Again, just have fun with it and enjoy her company with no expectations for the future.

There are plenty of awesome girls out there if this one doesn't work out, so don't stress or put too much emphasis on this one being super-special-ultra-rare. This line of thinking always helped me out when I was trying not to get overly invested early on. It's the same line of thinking that will help you get over a break up.

That's what I always say to myself and do, don't get me wrong, I've already learned not to be super invested at the start and I don't. But I've also learned that I'm very picky with women, a friend told me once that because of the kind of person I am, there really is a small percentage of girls that I can legitimately go out with and be comfortable with it and I'm realizing that she's right.

I'm not trying to put too much emphasis on these special ultra rare girls, but it's hard not to feel some sort of pressure considering how hard it is for me to find someone to click with that much.

 

[hipgnosis]

Oh man thank god it's friday! Time to hit the bar scene of my town with my mates, we'll see how this evening will turn out girl-wise.

Also have a date planned for next week with a new girl. She seems pretty cool, she is a singer in a band and loves music. She is quite attractive as well. She is quite young though, maybe 19 and I'm turning 24 in a month. Going there just have fun and don't keep high expectations. She's been pursuing quite a while though and texts me a lot so that's good I guess.

Another girl who I met a while ago and lives quite far is coming to visit my town this month and suggested we should meet when she comes, so I guess that's gonna be another date. I know this won't lead into anything because of the distance, but I can always have fun and get to know new people.

Shit is cool yo.

 

[Kad5]

Ok so I was hanging out with this girl.

She ended up sleeping in my bed.

I didn't wake her but we're going to spend time together all day tomorrow. We're going to go on a mushroom "trip" if you catch my drift.

 

[soultron]

Ok so I was hanging out with this girl.

She ended up sleeping in my bed.

I didn't wake her but we're going to spend time together all day tomorrow. We're going to go on a mushroom "trip" if you catch my drift.

Hopefully she doesn't bug out and leave. Provide some context, because right now it's sounding like she threw herself at you and you did nothing.

 

[dmshaposv]

Alright, I have just a general question. This situation hasn't come up yet, but I'm sure it probably will at some point. How best to go about hitting on a girl you see in public that you've never met before? Say on a university campus or something like that?

"Hey is that Morissey on your shirt? I totally listen to the Smiths too!"

But seriously, use your "eyes" and make a remark to break ice. "Cool shirt", "I dig the bag", e.t.c.

Heck, just go up and ask "hey are you in my world cultures class?" e.t.c and then talk about your majors, e.t.c.

It aint rocket science - they are just as shy and confused as you are.

 

[Detox]

How's the vegetarian girl going, by the way? I'm curious because my GF is a vegetarian and I want things to work out similarly well for you too. Haha.

The vegetarian had her birthday a week before we met and when I asked her how it was she said she ate a cheeseburger. It was said in a lighthearted way but if that was the most memorable part of her birthday she either had a small celebration with friends or it's really important to her. I teased her and haven't brought it up since.

The bookstore date is perfect can't believe I didn't think of that, her major is in English. Any other tips for intellectualy stimulating dates?

 

[Kad5]

Hopefully she doesn't bug out and leave. Provide some context, because right now it's sounding like she threw herself at you and you did nothing.

No she already left.

We're hanging out later today.

I didn't want to make a move because we just started hanging out very recently so i'm trying not to move too fast.

 

[Darklord]

So this chick I've been into at my work and wanted to ask out(though hesitant because I normally don't like asking people out that I work with if it all turns south). I always thought she was like 22-23, I found out she's 17. I mean still legal and everything but that's a 6 year maturity gap...

Now I'm reconsidering even trying. :|

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

So this chick I've been into at my work and wanted to ask out(though hesitant because I normally don't like asking people out that I work with if it all turns south). I always thought she was like 22-23, I found out she's 17. I mean still legal and everything but that's a 6 year maturity gap...

Now I'm reconsidering even trying. :|

Just give it a shot. You'll find out soon enough whether she is immature or not. Have to say though that dating a chick from work isn't a good idea, but you've mentioned that yourself.

 

[soultron]

Just give it a shot. You'll find out soon enough whether she is immature or not. Have to say though that dating a chick from work isn't a good idea, but you've mentioned that yourself.

I'd advise against this. She's almost 99.99999999999% guaranteed to be immature and there's the whole dating-a-coworker no-no.

 

[Darklord]

I'd advise against this. She's almost 99.99999999999% guaranteed to be immature and there's the whole dating-a-coworker no-no.

I'll chat to her on facebook and see how it goes. One of the reasons I didn't think she was 17 was because she didn't act like it. MAN, I could get past the work thing but this age thing. I literally just watched a friend get screwed over by a 17 year old girl. Then I see the girl I like is 17. A sign perhaps? Either way, it sucks.

Maybe I'll just go for it and go down with the ship. Better than being stuck on an island by yourself.

 

[BronzeWolf]

The bookstore date is perfect can't believe I didn't think of that, her major is in English. Any other tips for intellectualy stimulating dates?

Bitch, please, this is what I used to do for a living lol

Ok so I was hanging out with this girl.

She ended up sleeping in my bed.

No one sleeps on my bed unless my dick has been inside of them. RULE

I didn't want to make a move because we just started hanging out very recently so i'm trying not to move too fast.

Oh shit, you just fucked it up

So this chick I've been into at my work and wanted to ask out(though hesitant because I normally don't like asking people out that I work with if it all turns south). I always thought she was like 22-23, I found out she's 17. I mean still legal and everything but that's a 6 year maturity gap...

Now I'm reconsidering even trying. :|

Are you that desperate? Coworker, teenager. NO NO. My dick doesn't get hard for teenagers, so much trouble. Not worth it.

 

[Darklord]

Are you that desperate? Coworker, teenager. NO NO. My dick doesn't get hard for teenagers, so much trouble. Not worth it.

No, I'm not. But I've gotten on well with her. I'll see if it goes anywhere, which it might not even, but I'll make a choice if it does. The choice will probably be no though.

 

[Spacebar]

So my friend was telling me about this $100 challenge he read about. Say you go out to a bar/club with some friends. Give one of your friends $100 in cash. For every girl you approach you get (x) amount back. It's usually 10$ or 20$. This way you have to make 5-10 approaches that night to get your money back.

You can also add stipulations yourself like if you score a number it's more back then an approach. If you actually take home a girl then your buddy can pay you all the money back.

I don't think it's a bad idea trying to get guys out of their comfort zone. Once you give that 100$ out you better start talking if you want that money back.

 

[Xun]

Going out tonight to some student club tonight (despite no longer being a student).

I don't expect anything to happen but it'll be good fun I'm sure.

Well the student bar seemed to be completely empty so we went elsewhere, even though I was up for waiting around a bit to see if it picked up at all.

The problem is I honestly have no idea where to go in London that would make getting home easy. Because of this we just went to a pretty run of a mill pub and just chatted.

I'm fine with this but I really want to break out of my shell. I feel trapped and in a rut the whole time, and it doesn't look like it'll get any better (negative thoughts I know). I'm always wanting to go out but my friends are just fine with not doing much.

My anxiety issues don't help at all, and it's really getting me down.

I hate having such negative thoughts but I feel completely stuck in a rut.

 

[djtiesto]

Ehh, allow me to rant a bit in here, take a bit of steam off...

I was in a dead-end relationship for a year and a half. My girlfriend was very tomboyish (not really a problem, but it is when she doesn't even bother to dress up for friend's parties, or refuses to go to weddings because she'd need to wear a dress), and would get all pissed at me when I would tell her that she needs to put some more effort into herself. She was in her own comfort zone, never wanting to help herself or her situation (living at home with a crazy family, whose problems she always took on her shoulder)... worked a dead-end job, never had any cash (was a bad saver, spending all her money on her nieces), didn't want to go back to college for her Masters, didn't even have a car... not to mention I never really felt like she took any interest in myself or any of my interests (she didn't even bother listen to some of my DJ mixes!) So I told her I didn't see things working out and that we should "take a break". Then after a few days on break, and taking my relationship status off of Facebook, she called me yelling at me that I was an asshole for doing that and that she never wanted to talk to me again. I was real sad, because as wrong as the girl was for me, I still deeply cared for her and wanted to see her pull herself out of her situation. Even after all the encouraging I tried to do. She was a quitter and loved to make excuses.

During the relationship, I built up my confidence a whole ton, something I've always suffered with all my life (I'm now almost 30 - and have had plenty of girlfriends, but there was always a lingering sense of self-doubt I had). Bought a new house and finally getting ready to live on my own, getting rid of some people who were holding me back, working extra hard at my job (where in recent years I've kinda been a slacker)...

So fast forward to last fall... I started up OKCupid again, with renewed confidence. I've been going on lots of dates, with girls who have much more going for them than my ex. But it hasn't been working out yet. I hardly ever get second dates with the girls, and have only met one girl I really clicked with -

I do the simple first dates - meet for coffee, or at a small pub for a drink. And then an activity date for a second... if I can get that far!

Anyways, 2 things have popped up that I have some questions about:

-what do you guys do to try and get a followup? You had a first date that didn't end in disaster, and liked the girl enough to want a second... how do you go about getting that second date? I usually will call back and be like "Hey, what's up? I had a nice time the other night and wanted to see if you want to go out again.."

-Also I went out with a really cute girl a few days ago, she was a bit on the younger side (22) but very pretty. Seemed to have a good time, we went out for drinks and I did a bit of kino (playful touches), maintained eye contact, body language (this is the only thing I'm a natural at, being Italian and all), etc. Called her up, got voicemail, left a message... and she texted me back with "I had a great time too! But I think we are better off as friends." Should I even bother writing back at this point? Something to the extent of "OK, well friends hook each other up, do you have any single friends who might be interested?"

 

[Spacebar]

Live Journal Rant

I don't think you're doing anything really wrong from what you wrote. The girls who use online dating have so many options because they get bombarded with messages. You also could be in one of those funks where every girl you talk to isn't interested for no real reason. You know they always say girls come in waves....well it can go the other way sometimes.

I'm kind of shocked you haven't picked up girls with your DJ gig. I thought DJ's got tones of pussy. Keep your head up and putting yourself out there. That's all you can do and at the end of the day if you're happy with yourself someone will see something in you and want to share time with you.

As far as that last girl at most I would just text her and say "That's cool. Good luck." Then never talk to her again. That way you don't come off as bitter or too clingy.

 

[BronzeWolf]

-what do you guys do to try and get a followup? You had a first date that didn't end in disaster, and liked the girl enough to want a second... how do you go about getting that second date? I usually will call back and be like "Hey, what's up? I had a nice time the other night and wanted to see if you want to go out again.."

On the First date you should be focusing only in two things really:

1. Is this girl all right? Meaning as is she nuts? is she a gold-digger? is she relationship handicapped. You dig for red flags, that's why first dates should be all about the talking.
2. Setting up a second date. This is crucial. I never have problems daisy-chaining dates because I always ask questions that lead to second dates and set them up right there and then. E.G. "So you like paining? that sounds great, look, I love photography, so why don't we go to the beach and I do you a photo-shoot of you, painting. sounds great? how about this Sunday, cool, hey, I need to go the bathroom brb". (trustory btw)

I actually get a little worried if a girl makes out on the first date. A kiss is fine, hand holding is fine, but full out face-eating, dick-sucking, vagina-penetrating action...what is she playing at?

-Also I went out with a really cute girl a few days ago, she was a bit on the younger side (22) but very pretty. Seemed to have a good time, we went out for drinks and I did a bit of kino (playful touches), maintained eye contact, body language (this is the only thing I'm a natural at, being Italian and all), etc. Called her up, got voicemail, left a message... and she texted me back with "I had a great time too! But I think we are better off as friends." Should I even bother writing back at this point? Something to the extent of "OK, well friends hook each other up, do you have any single friends who might be interested?"

You obviously didn't project enough sexual energy towards her. And yes, that is a good follow up. She owes you lol

 

[boundedseven]

Need your advice here GAF because the title of the thread is directly speaking to me.

Just some background that I had gone out with this girl a couple of times, and the first time we went out she said we are going out as friends only as she is new in town. Third time we were out, we were in a outdoor bar lying on a bed facing each other (quite a romantic setting) and I made a pass at her and was shot down and she said we are going out as friends only and she doesn't want to date anyone now as she wants to settle down in a new city After that we spoke a few times and I stopped calling her.

Today, more than two months later, she called and asked why am I ignoring her and we should meetup. She picked me up and took me out to dinner and insisted she pay for it. I didn't make a pass and acted cool and calm.

We were talking about each other, and she said that I'm too nice of a guy. I asked what she meant and said that girls want guys that are more aggressive, and i the end no matter how nicely the girl wants to be treated, in the end all girls want to be dragged be their hair.

Now I'm wondering if she turned me down if I am 'too nice'? If yes then I'm asking , how am I too nice when I made a pass at her, told her what I want even after she had clarified that she wanted to be just friends. Secondly does she want me to chase her, and should I risk being shot down again, it would be quite embarrassing the second time around.

Help me GAF!

 

[Kad5]

Bitch, please, this is what I used to do for a living lol


No one sleeps on my bed unless my dick has been inside of them. RULE


Oh shit, you just fucked it up


Are you that desperate? Coworker, teenager. NO NO. My dick doesn't get hard for teenagers, so much trouble. Not worth it.

I mean I think I still have a chance with her. She wants to hang out with me still.

 

[ACH1LL3US]

nm

 

[BronzeWolf]

I mean I think I still have a chance with her. She wants to hang out with me still.

You need to make a fucking move. It might be too late but you've make a move or forget her dick-wetting experience.

 

[low-G]

You wouldn't have to move right to sticking it in. She's laying on your bed you at least snuggle, work into frisky and see where the line is. (just my 2 cents)

 

[LosDaddie]

Help me GAF!

She is using you for attention. No, she doesn't want you to chase her. You should've known this the instant she said you were going out "as friends only" on your first date. Huge red flag there.

Make no mistake, she would already be with you / fucking you if she wanted that. You're just the guy she goes to when she wants some attention, and the ego boost of knowing she could have you if she wanted. In fact, I'd say she feels kinda sorry for you since she told you that you're "too nice".

There's no helping you with this girl. It's not going to happen. Best to move on and ignore her. 99% of the time when a girl says "I don't want to date anyone right now" it really means "I don't want to date you"

 

[mt1200]

Nope, my crush won't talk to me, I always have to ask her a question or something, because she never starts conversations with me, and even if I talk first, she only replies with "Yes.." or "no", its so hard to figure out what to tell her just to get a monosyllabic answer.

On the other hand she talks to another coworker without him asking her something or talking first.

I have a friend who always tells me that its better the less we have in common because the relationship would be less predictable and boring, but I find really hard to date with someone who doesn't like your stuff and vice-versa.

Spoiler

Guess I never had any game with her, girls why do you hate geeks so much!?, we are no aliens, we're just different

 

[LosDaddie]

No one sleeps on my bed unless my dick has been inside of them. RULE.

Seriously. How does that even happen? :lol

 

[boundedseven]

She is using you for attention. No, she doesn't want you to chase her. You should've known this the instant she said you were going out "as friends only" on your first date. Huge red flag there.

Make no mistake, she would already be with you / fucking you if she wanted that. You're just the guy she goes to when she wants some attention, and the ego boost of knowing she could have you if she wanted. In fact, I'd say she feels kinda sorry for you since she told you that you're "too nice".

There's no helping you with this girl. It's not going to happen. Best to move on and ignore her. 99% of the time when a girl says "I don't want to date anyone right now" it really means "I don't want to date you"

I'm thinking of just 'grabbing her by the hair' just to see how deep does that statement go

 

[BronzeWolf]

We were talking about each other, and she said that I'm too nice of a guy. I asked what she meant and said that girls want guys that are more aggressive, and i the end no matter how nicely the girl wants to be treated, in the end all girls want to be dragged be their hair.

All girls want a guy that is confident and that makes a move. I would normally scorn you for not making a move but since you did do so. You did make a move and now she is whining that you are too nice of a guy? Did you actually touch her on the night you made a move before kissing her? If you worked your way up to the kiss fuck her. If not, then you went too far...

She is now trying to "apologize" by taking you out. I find that a shitty thing to do. She wants an aggressive guy but insists on paying and taking you out? That sends conflicting messages, as an aggressive guy would never let a girl do such thing.

You did the right thing by sending her to warm the bench. I am sure she respects you more because of that, but not enough it seems.

Secondly does she want me to chase her, and should I risk being shot down again, it would be quite embarrassing the second time around.
Help me GAF!

There is only thing to do for you now and that is to tell her that by going out with you, she is accepting the fact that you will try to fuck her at every minute. See how she responds

 

[BronzeWolf]

Nope, my crush won't talk to me, I always have to ask her a question or something, because she never starts conversations with me, and even if I talk first, she only replies with "Yes.." or "no", its so hard to figure out what to tell her just to get a monosyllabic answer.

On the other hand she talks to another coworker without him asking her something or talking first.

I have a friend who always tells me that its better the less we have in common because the relationship would be less predictable and boring, but I find really hard to date with someone who doesn't like your stuff and vice-versa.

Spoiler

Guess I never had any game with her, girls why do you hate geeks so much!?, we are no aliens, we're just different

1. Your friend is a fucking idiot.
2. Don't talk to this girl again until she talks to you.

 

[LosDaddie]

I'm thinking of just 'grabbing her by the hair' just to see how deep does that statement go

I hope this is a joke. But if not, then do this instead:

There is only thing to do for you now and that is to tell her that by going out with you, she is accepting the fact that you will try to fuck her at every minute. See how she responds

yes, seriously. I'd almost guarantee that she'd respect you more if you said this to her.

 

[boundedseven]

All girls want a guy that is confident and that makes a move. I would normally scorn you for not making a move but since you did do so. You did make a move and now she is whining that you are too nice of a guy? Did you actually touch her on the night you made a move before kissing her? If you worked your way up to the kiss fuck her. If not, then you went too far...

She is now trying to "apologize" by taking you out. I find that a shitty thing to do. She wants an aggressive guy but insists on paying and taking you out? That sends conflicting messages, as an aggressive guy would never let a girl do such thing.

You did the right thing by sending her to warm the bench. I am sure she respects you more because of that, but not enough it seems.



There is only thing to do for you now and that is to tell her that by going out with you, she is accepting the fact that you will try to fuck her at every minute. See how she responds

Before I made the move, we lying very close to each other and I was playing with her hair and there was mutual touching. I told her all the signs point to the fact that this leading to something romantic. Then she started apologizing that I'm sorry I didn't mean to give off the wrong signals etc.

Actually she also told me story of another guy (who lives in her building) that was drunk and tried to hit on her and she shot him down, in a harsh way.

We've gotten drunk together so I'm thinking I should make a move after getting her inebriated and say I'm not taking no for an answer. But that might be borderline assault?

 

[BronzeWolf]

Then she started apologizing that I'm sorry I didn't mean to give off the wrong signals etc.

Oh such bullshit! BULLSHIT

Actually she also told me story of another guy (who lives in her building) that was drunk and tried to hit on her and she shot him down, in a harsh way.

What's the fucking point of this story? Oh right, more attention

We've gotten drunk together so I'm thinking I should make a move after getting her inebriated and say I'm not taking no for an answer. But that might be borderline assault?

True players need no fucking alcohol. I am all about the day game

 

[soultron]

Before I made the move, we lying very close to each other and I was playing with her hair and there was mutual touching. I told her all the signs point to the fact that this leading to something romantic. Then she started apologizing that I'm sorry I didn't mean to give off the wrong signals etc.

Actually she also told me story of another guy (who lives in her building) that was drunk and tried to hit on her and she shot him down, in a harsh way.

We've gotten drunk together so I'm thinking I should make a move after getting her inebriated and say I'm not taking no for an answer. But that might be borderline assault?

The bolded is where you failed. All you had to do was go in for the kiss without announcing it to her.

Announcing what you're going to do in a situation like this (where it's the first real intimate physical contact) is highly likely to deflate the attraction almost instantly. It gives her a brief pause to think things over and reject the notion of you being intimate. You don't want this.

Move on and learn. Ditch her.

 

[Cubsfan23]

I mean I think I still have a chance with her.

stop thinking like this

 

[boundedseven]

The bolded is where you failed. All you had to do was go in for the kiss without announcing it to her.

Announcing what you're going to do in a situation like this (where it's the first real intimate physical contact) is highly likely to deflate the attraction almost instantly. It gives her a brief pause to think things over and reject the notion of you being intimate. You don't want this.

Move on and learn. Ditch her.

I think I didn't write that correctly. After I made the move, I said the part about t here being romantic signs as she as surprised why I tried that.

 

[Sanky Panky]

We've gotten drunk together so I'm thinking I should make a move after getting her inebriated and say I'm not taking no for an answer. But that might be borderline assault?

Dude you got the wrong message. She's not saying "please be more aggressive and I might yield". She told you you are too nice, but she made that determination BEFORE you guys went out. She was never sexually attracted to you, hence she said that you guys would be going out just as friend from the getgo. You ignored that (that she didn't like you), and went ahead and did it anyways.

Her seeking you out is out of loneliness probably, or she hasn't been able to find that dude to rock her socks. It's not you. She wants to go out in the town, so she can bring you along for company. The fact that she paid tells me she doesn't want you to spend mooney on her, so you don't get any expectations of anything being a "date".

I mean, persistence is the mother of success, but you stand the chance that she'll simply settle for someone she wasn't attracted to from the start, until she finds new dick.

 

[Kad5]

stop thinking like this

Why?

I wasn't trying to fuck her after hanging out with her for pretty much the first time.

 

[Combine]

Question. What kind of pictures do you guys use to display, either on online dating profiles or just in general to show off to others? Do you just have a picture taken of you solitary just with a smile or are you able to take a photo with other people around?

I've never been at all happy with any picture taken of me. Even the ones where I'm smiling just feel so fake or off somehow (bad lighting maybe?). Granted I have to accept that I don't look so good and my age is showing but surely there must be a way to know that a picture is ok or not. Even a picture that I thought was ok, when I showed it to someone else, they said that something was just off with the way I looked. So, when I become incapable of judging how I'm coming off to other people, well, that's kind of a bad thing.

 

[BronzeWolf]

Why?

I wasn't trying to fuck her after hanging out with her for pretty much the first time.

If you are not trying to fuck her, why not invite a dude out? It's not about fucking, but about letting her know that you can make her feel all tingly down there.

You had your best chance, and you blew it. Is she still interested in you? Maybe, but not bloody likely

Question. What kind of pictures do you guys use to display, either on online dating profiles or just in general to show off to others? Do you just have a picture taken of you solitary just with a smile or are you able to take a photo with other people around?

I've never been at all happy with any picture taken of me. Even the ones where I'm smiling just feel so fake or off somehow (bad lighting maybe?). Granted I have to accept that I don't look so good and my age is showing but surely there must be a way to know that a picture is ok or not. Even a picture that I thought was ok, when I showed it to someone else, they said that something was just off with the way I looked. So, when I become incapable of judging how I'm coming off to other people, well, that's kind of a bad thing.

SMILE UNTIL IT HURTS!!! Seriously, learn to smile. All my pictures looked like shit, until I took my time to learn to fucking smile.

Not smiling? Unless you have a body to show, smile smile smile.
Pictures pluses:
Sociable (+100 points up to 3 people)
Sharply dressed (+100 points, not douchebaggery)
With girls (+100 points for each girl)
With dudes (+1 point for each dude -2 for each dude after the third one)
Doing some sport, where your face is showing (+50 points)

 

[soultron]

Why?

I wasn't trying to fuck her after hanging out with her for pretty much the first time.

She made herself vulnerable most likely because she wanted to be intimate.

You didn't have to fuck her. But she's probably thinking, "Fuck, why didn't he do anything?"

 

[boundedseven]

Dude you got the wrong message. She's not saying "please be more aggressive and I might yield". She told you you are too nice, but she made that determination BEFORE you guys went out. She was never sexually attracted to you, hence she said that you guys would be going out just as friend from the getgo. You ignored that (that she didn't like you), and went ahead and did it anyways.

Her seeking you out is out of loneliness probably, or she hasn't been able to find that dude to rock her socks. It's not you. She wants to go out in the town, so she can bring you along for company. The fact that she paid tells me she doesn't want you to spend mooney on her, so you don't get any expectations of anything being a "date".

I mean, persistence is the mother of success, but you stand the chance that she'll simply settle for someone she wasn't attracted to from the start, until she finds new dick.

I see your point but at this point my ego is a bit bruised and I'm looking for something more intimate here. If she finds someone else after, it's fine with me

 

[BronzeWolf]

I see your point but at this point my ego is a bit bruised and I'm looking for something more intimate here. If she finds someone else after, it's fine with me

HINT: this might not be a girl you want to get too serious about right now

 

[LosDaddie]

at this point my ego is a bit bruised and I'm looking for something more intimate here. If she finds someone else after, it's fine with me

:lol
Have fun wasting your time. You have almost a 0% shot of fucking this chick.

 

[Combine]

SMILE UNTIL IT HURTS!!! Seriously, learn to smile. All my pictures looked like shit, until I took my time to learn to fucking smile.

Not smiling? Unless you have a body to show, smile smile smile.
Pictures pluses:
Sociable (+100 points up to 3 people) - got none of these
Sharply dressed (+100 points, not douchebaggery) - this is doable, though my fashion sense isn't that up to snuff
With girls (+100 points for each girl) - haha, nope nothing here
With dudes (+1 point for each dude -2 for each dude after the third one) - not much here either, but clearly that wouldn't earn much points
Doing some sport, where your face is showing (+50 points) - nothing I'm super proud of

I guess I have to work on my smile. Funny thing is that I once thought I smiled too much, even when talking regularly and thought it probably made people uncomfortable because it made me look creepy. But maybe I haven't learned how to really sincerely smile.

You're chasing a girl who's not into you. How is this logical?

Man, I hope I never go down this route and lose sight of things by becoming so enamored with a girl. Of course, right now I can say that because I don't know what it's like to be truly infatuated/obsessed over someone else. At the moment I'd say it sounds so foolish and stupid to even consider that I would fall into such a trap

 

[soultron]

I see your point but at this point my ego is a bit bruised and I'm looking for something more intimate here. If she finds someone else after, it's fine with me

You need to get over this and move on.

You're chasing a girl who's not into you. How is this logical?

 

[BronzeWolf]

I guess I have to work on my smile. Funny thing is that I once thought I smiled too much, even when talking regularly and thought it probably made people uncomfortable because it made me look creepy. But maybe I haven't learned how to really sincerely smile.

Didn't even know it was Combine...

*sigh*