Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

Status
Not open for further replies.
jasonng said:
A man never turns down a bourbon, your hangover is justified.

So the girl I took out on Thursday turned out to come from a heavy Christian family. She came to new York to experience life outside her realm (she seems to be questioning her faith). I'd feel guilty if I persuade her in the ways of the secular flesh. I'm going to take it slow with this one since I'm having fun but a part of me says I shouldn't be that guy.
Click to expand...

Pssh, be that guy,or you just aren't being yourself.
 
jasonng said:
A man never turns down a bourbon, your hangover is justified.

So the girl I took out on Thursday turned out to come from a heavy Christian family. She came to new York to experience life outside her realm (she seems to be questioning her faith). I'd feel guilty if I persuade her in the ways of the secular flesh. I'm going to take it slow with this one since I'm having fun but a part of me says I shouldn't be that guy.
Click to expand...

Unless she is questioning herself, it might be more trouble than it's worth. I did that for 5.5 years, and it only made her MORE Christian.
 
Friday night was great :) Finally got together with the "crazy" milf (HighLuxury, you should know who I mean) and we had a blast. She didn't leave until about 10 pm tonight. Couldn't help myself from laughing when she descibed what her impressions of me were and how they were completely off now that she's spent some alone time with me. After about half a year of both inner and outer work, it was nice to hear that things have indeed changed :) Hearing a woman actually admit that she never chase a guy for this long (a bit over a month I think) before either giving up or succeeding, and that she had in fact noticed just how care free I appear to be, was pretty great. And it's apparently really attractive even if she can't express it with words completely (which was funny because I know why, thanks to PUA, this thread, etc). Overall, not the worst night out :) I'm still a bit troubled by the apparent desire for a serious relationship (it's too obvious she has already fallen flat for me) but ordering pizza and spending most of the day in bed in one fashion or the other is something I can get used to, in general.

//Blog time

Anyway, she basically only left tonight because I was going out again with my friends. She even sent a text message wishing me good luck. Tonight we decided to try a rejection game. No one got laid so I suppose we're all winners? We were six guys but two didn't do much, if anything at all. So the four of us must've racked up about 80 rejections in total tonight. Didn't bother any of us at all, which was surprising. Failing on purpose was actually a lot of fun. The winner won a small money pot (50$ or so). I think I can recommend it to those with anxiety issues (I still had them even though the paragraph above just happened, literally a couple of hours earlier).

Wednesday can't come fast enough.
 
onemic said:
Ok, redid parts of my profile again, specifically the parts I didn't really bother doing before:

Once again, it was mostly stream of consciousness stuff, so it might sound weirder than it should be. Criticize away!
Click to expand...

Uh....I don't even know where to start.

I mean, it's funny in a "Hahaha crazy" sort of way and not in a "Hahaha I could totally hang out with this person" sort of way. I think if you tone down just a little bit of the stream of consciousness writing it would be good.

EDIT: okay, the inner editor in me needs to fix this, so here goes:

My self-summary

You clicked on the pic of sexy and ended up here. Where is here you may ask? It's my awesomesauce profile silly, where I say totally random things that will make you explode in a fire of long lasting want and desire. Desire is a vice you say? well I eat vices up for breakfast and spit out the virtues.

This gets ridiculous. Actually say a little bit about yourself, if not you sound like someone who walks around using the word "Epic" because someone wrote it on the internet once.

What I’m doing with my life

Doing my honors in liberal arts, but other than that I am what you can call the chillest person you can meet. Like to travel? check. Play music? Check. Sports? check. Being that totally random tech expert when technology goes awry? check. You don't wanna see me with a pair of screwdrivers when I'm angry, that computer's gonna get shoved a new fan.

This is actually alright, but what do you plan to do with that "honors in liberal arts"? Liberal Arts is a pretty wide focus.

I’m really good at

Doing those things where you're like, "damn I wish I thought of that"
Making you laugh
Making you smile













like now

meh?

constructing arguments about how crunchy peanut butter sucks

Finding stars in the most random places. Mario said he wanted he wanted his job back. I politely said, "no you plump mustache plumber."

This is obscure for most everyone other than GAF. IF this means you actually like stargazing, where? While camping, telescope, what?

Philosophizing about eating the red ones last. It is the most sought after question of every humans life when they eat a pack of smarties. Under what moral ground do these red smarties have to be savagely eaten last? It is a question that may never be answered

There's red Smarties? I thought they were pink?

Give me a pair of sticks and my inner John Bonham will rock the set so hard, Barney will come out of retirement. Right before jamming out on the bass in one giant flash of creepy plush dinosaur music

Maybe something more traditional about drumming and not bringing up a kids show that is over 10 years old.



The first things people usually notice about me

My sexy filling the screen in one great giant orgy of sexiness

No. Just...no. Find practically anything else to put here. Only Timedog can pull this off.


Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

Books: 1984 is all my mind needs. I've been interested in reading Ayn Rand novels, but everywhere I turn I'm reminded of how insanely crazy Ayn Rand is.

Come on, you have to have read more than 1984. That's High School level man.

Shows: Breaking Bad, Mad Men, Game of Thrones, The Wire

Music: I like too many types of music to count so I'll just relegate it to hip hop, rock, alternative, indie, electronic, experimental, jazz

Dude, just tone it down, pick a select few (like the artists below). Too general a view makes you bland.

....And I already listed too much, but if you were to ever get into a music debate with me my faves are currently: Led Zeppelin, Jimi Hendrix, Rush, The Roots, Destroyer, Deerhunter, and Wutang

Food: I'm not foodist, all food is equal to me


The six things I could never do without

PC
Drums
Guitar
Phone

4 things, guess I'm in trouble now :o

Well it seems as if there is a hidden requirement to get to 1000 words to make your profile unlocked.... sooooooo to help get this crazy limit, I guess I'll say that if I was ever put on an island with Questlove and Paul McCartney and the plane to get us off the island could only carry two people, I'd take quest every time. Sorry Paul, I hate Wings

I approve of this, the 6 Things section is always pretty boring, this is at least interesting.


I spend a lot of time thinking about

Those weird questions Okcupid makes users fill out

You and everyone WHO JUST FILLED THEM OUT while making their profile. Change it up.

On a typical Friday night I am

Out of the house doing something and not on OKC durr

Are we IMing now? What ARE you actually doing? Bar with friends is perfectly acceptable.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit

I rescued a cat once
It thanked me afterward


I’m looking for

Girls who like guys
Ages 20-30
Near me
For new friends


You should message me if

You're cool, carefree, and wanna know more about me
you smiled
you also think about eating the red ones last

Okay, nice, way to make them have to at least skim through your profile
 
PLEASE HELP!

Last night I went to a club in Tokyo (I live in Tsukuba which is about 50 minutes away) and the music was great, not the trashy music that is usually played, so I genuinely enjoyed it and was going all out dancing and having a good time, instead of pretending to enjoy the trashy music in most clubs (I despise rap and hip-hop, sorry). Long story short I got picked up by a girl. We danced, we kissed (tongue kissed) lots of time, she kept close to me the whole time, she always held my hand and never let go, and we both had a genuinely fun time, we sat down afterwards and chatted for a bit. I got her e-mail and connected with her on Facebook but no phone number. Before she left she said she wants to take it slow, and wants us to meet again. As she was leaving she grabbed my hand and I left with her. She lost her glasses so I made effort to find it for her which she mentioned to her friend as we were leaving I thought maybe I'll get lucky even though she said she wanna play it slow, it turns out she just wanted to walk me to the station, it was still early for my train, so instead I walked with her until she got a cab and left. I asked for her phone number and she said we'll exchange phone numbers on Facebook as she rushed to get into the cab as her friend was waiting.

I'm totally clueless. I had my eyes on her the whole time but avoided doing anything because I was afraid I might mess things up and was hoping she makes the first move if she were interested which she did. She started the conversation and eventually she grabbed my hand and followed me to the dance floor.

It has been 12 hours since then, what should I do?

Did I blow it by asking her if I can escort her to her home?
 
Just got back from a date, which I must say was a major success!

So, last Monday I got a girls number after I overheard her talking about The Wii Dolphin Emulator and how she's been playing Sonic Adventure 2 battle. I know, this sounds awkward but we really hit it off. Anyways, I played it cool and waited a few days before calling her back.

I was having trouble thinking of something for us to go do since we're both gamers I didn't want to just go out to coffee and I didn't feel it right to invite her over for a game session just yet.

So I found this Meet Up on Deviant for Artists of any skill level called the Sketchbomb. It's a social gathering of DA members who meet up in SF draw and share ideas. I convinced a few friends to come with and told her to bring friends and we'll make a fun social night out. She said yes!

We meet up, go for some Gelato and wait for our friends to come. Friends come, we go to the Sketchbomb, had a ton of fun, a few drinks and a lot of laughs. I really liked two of her friends. There were two girls who's names I don't remember and this guy who I bet if given the chance would be all over the girl I'm interested in but seems to be hardcore friend-zoned.

It starts to get late, and people are leaving - my friends take off and we get a cab for her friends. Her guy friend stays a while we talk on the corner a bit but he eventually gets a cab and leaves. We walk to the bus stop. We talk while waiting for the bus, I got her to laugh! Her bus arrives and she kisses me on the cheek gives me a hug and thanks me for the good time. I add I had a really great time and that we should get together again sometime next week. She smiles agrees gets on the bus and that's that.

I honestly couldn't of done it without you Gaf. I don't think this date could of gone any better. I've always had a problem with confidence but this thread and overcoming a few fears has really helped out. Here's to hoping for a good date #2!
 
I'm bored and a little tipsy, so I figured why not see what GAF thinks of my profile. I rewrote somewhat recently, and got some fairly positive response to it. Basically girls either love it or don't know what to think of it.

My self-summary
Personally, my identity crisis takes on a daunting shape as one week I'll be a musician, the next a culinary adventurist, and another a screenwriter. The only common theme tying those all together is creativity, but the outlet for that creativity is about as consistent as I am illiterate. All that stuff is still me regardless, but taking the time and effort to sort them into the proper drawers is still an ongoing project that I'm having way too much fun tackling.

I should also point out that I might possibly be considered perennially weird because unlike most in this town, I actually enjoy a nice quaint commute on public transit. Outside of that, I'm always a huge fan of going to concerts, walking aimlessly around the downtown core and yelling colourful expletives with friends at Keith Ballard while trying to win a free round at Yagger's.

What I’m doing with my life
Fresh off a six month stint working for the government, I've come to the realization that my life was much better when I had a steady paycheque and a job that required me to sit in an office with a fancy downtown view. The concrete interior and what I suspect to be the equally concrete chairs at SFU are seemingly a world apart from my life of employment only a few weeks prior.

Since then, I've made it my life's effort to re-enter once again that beautiful world of bi-weekly paycheques, coffee breaks and clocking out at five. This is of course, as opposed to my previous efforts of deciding whether or not to go to bed at two in the morning or three in the morning.

I’m really good at
Excelling at a very certain or specific talent for a short span of time and then suddenly sputtering out like Christy Clark's face after missing a botox injection.

Other more permanent talents include making a mean steak, forgetting everyone's birthdays and throwing out hockey references like they're HMV's business model (see: going out of business).

The first things people usually notice about me
Is that I'm not Dane Cook, in that when I tell a joke, I don't pace around like a four year old on Nutella while I recite an albums' worth of nonevents in my life, periodically gesturing wildly with my arms to ensure that the sheer amount of comedic daftness in my blood doesn't all bunch up in my head and cause an aneurism.

I'm also very dance-y when I've had a few drinks and Weezer is on.

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Because clearly, we all judge solely on each other's stances on young Canadian songstress, Justin Beiber.

Favorite Movies:

Scott Pilgrim Vs The World, Gattaca, South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut, Mary Poppins, Star Trek, Wall-E, Anchorman, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, and many many more.

Favorite Shows:

Everything on the Food Network, Life, Community, Stargate, Doctor Who, Arrested Development, Conan, The Daily Show, Scrubs.

Favorite Music:

Arcade Fire, Green Day, Alkaline Trio, Rise Against, The Strokes, Tokyo Police Club, The Gaslight Anthem, The Loved Ones, Rancid, We Are Scientists, Our Lady Peace, The Postal Service, Death Cab for Cutie, Weezer, Pinhead Gunpowder, The Beatles, Ben Folds, Regina Spektor, The Hives, Flogging Molly, , Bowling for Soup, Ok Go, Reel Big Fish, Radiohead

I spend a lot of time thinking about
Whether or not plaid is ruining my outlook on life.

On a typical Friday night I am
Having a pulse has typically been the only consistent theme of my Friday nights recently. Inconsistency has taken over the nights as well as I'm concerned. Fridays for me are as predictable as something wildly unpredictable.

For the most part though. You'll find me occupying a mix of activities generally involving alcohol, hockey, music and food. Incredible amounts of terrible food, followed up by more terrible food. Also, organic IPAs apparently taste like abject war crimes. The more you know.

The most private thing I’m willing to admit
I think Ted Danson is incredibly awesome.


You should message me if
If you want me to charm another pair of pants onto you.
Click to expand...
 
Had a date last night. Turned out she is divorced and has two kids and did not tell me upfront. Nonetheless, we went to her place (kids were with their father). Condom ripped and she is not on birth control. Fuck this.

First time I made love to a woman who has kids. It feels different indeed.
 
I don't really plan on having kids and even if i did i'm not sure i could go there. Nothing against them i'm just not sure it's something i could handle.

Also if she's a single mum with 2 kids i'm surprised she would want to go around sleeping with people without birth control. If it was me i would probably want to be extra careful.
 
AdventureRacing said:
I don't really plan on having kids and even if i did i'm not sure i could go there. Nothing against them i'm just not sure it's something i could handle.

Also if she's a single mum with 2 kids i'm surprised she would want to go around sleeping with people without birth control. If it was me i would probably want to be extra careful.
Click to expand...

It was a very strange situation. She divorced in september and the last time she had sex was in december. She is pretty attractive (especially for a 32 y/o), but she lacks confidence... Guess the divorce is still fresh and she just wanted some dick. I like helping people, so...
 
Boozeroony said:
It was a very strange situation. She divorced in september and the last time she had sex was in december. She is pretty attractive (especially for a 32 y/o), but she lacks confidence... Guess the divorce is still fresh and she just wanted some dick. I like helping people, so...
Click to expand...

Wait, how old are you?
 
27

Awkward moment: had to pass through the kids' room to get to the bathroom. Image me passing through a pink room with fairies to clean myself a bit after sex. I feel dirty.
 
Well, I sent her an e-mail. It might work, it might not work. I have no clue. I tried looking for advice online and it was everything from e-mail her the next night to wait a week. That's a huge disperencey. Is it 1 day? 2 days? 3? 4? a week? I don't understand girls.
 
nHDR said:
Geez, ok.

Chick I have history with messages me randomly bitching because I don't keep enough contact. I ask what's up, she doesn't reply (predicted) in order to show me her anger/rage/whatever. So, I'm wondering. Obviously things will NEVER heal since I don't feel like becoming whipped any time soon.

Q: Should I let her know why she's a bitch, or do I just disappear as I have been doing for years now?

I figure maybe she'll realize that she needs to be more respectful of people in the future. It will also be somewhat satisfying.
Click to expand...

This is her attempting to assert a form of control over you from afar. Probably to make her feel better about herself and make herself feel validated at your expense. Calling her a bitch means she wins.

Say nothing, she is a non-factor in your life. Your life is good and you are free of those negative influences. If she persists then kindly ask her to end contact.
 
random luck story that might turn out good:

A girl I was semi hitting on friend zoned me a few months ago and we just became good friends having fun and whatnot. We promised to help each other find someone for the other person since we agreed we both needed it.

Come now to a few months later and randomly she asked me if it would be awkward if her and I went out on a date. This is honestly the last thing I was expecting her to say.

So this week or next couple of days we will be going out and have some fun after dinner ^_^

I'm fine if it dosn't work out but it's def interesting :)

so yeah, being friend zoned isn't always a bad thing.
 
Hylian7 said:
So uhhh, my question kind of got lost in the BronzeWolf shuffle earlier, and I only got 2 opinions out of the regulars in here....I'll type the short version....

That girl in my calculus class that that other guy basically cockblocked me from might not be into that guy after all. He's flirting with her like no other but she's not really responding much to it. I'm not sure if she's shy or actually thinks he's a douchebag. Should I try to go for it when the guy isn't around or not?
Click to expand...

Of course you should. They're not married. Do you like her? The worst that can happen is that she'll turn you down and then you're free to stop thinking about it and look to other people. Which you should be doing anyway - don't get so focused on this one particular girl or you'll get nervous.

FortunateSon said:
Guys need help. Please.

- Talked to a girl at a bar / restaurant. She was with her friend (has a boyfriend).

- Introduced myself, had a conversation with her about multiple topics and ended it with a "nice meeting you".

- Didn't close the deal, but she really wanted me to ask her for her # but I didn't.

---------

But then.....

- I realised when I wished my friend happy birthday on facebook, we had a couple of mutual friends and thus I saw her picure and recognize her.

- Then I messaged her. It was two days after the initial meet that we had.

---------

So is this considered creepy and I basically fucked up and lost all chance at getting this chick because I gave her a creppy perception or am I still good? Basically, did I fuck up and become a creep in her mind or am I still in it?

She seemed a lot more excited to meet than I was to meet her.
Click to expand...

The only way this is creepy is if you said creepy, self-deprecating things in your message. If you just said "Hi I'm xxxx I met you the other day, how are you?" then that's great. Keep it brief, don't over communicate. Keep her interested and intrigued.
 
onemic said:
Well I made a terribly done profile on Cupid.

suggestions? criticisms? love?
Click to expand...

Your "smile of death" photo is much better than your current main pic. You should try getting a new photo more in that style (in which you are looking relaxed, natural, and enjoying yourself) in which you're looking a little bit more toward the camera.

You downplay yourself too much in your profile.


amrihua said:
Well, I sent her an e-mail. It might work, it might not work. I have no clue. I tried looking for advice online and it was everything from e-mail her the next night to wait a week. That's a huge disperencey. Is it 1 day? 2 days? 3? 4? a week? I don't understand girls.
Click to expand...


slow. down.

honestly it might already be too late. just take it easy and let things unfold. if you push then it's guaranteed to go nowhere.
 
amrihua said:
Well, I sent her an e-mail. It might work, it might not work. I have no clue. I tried looking for advice online and it was everything from e-mail her the next night to wait a week. That's a huge disperencey. Is it 1 day? 2 days? 3? 4? a week? I don't understand girls.
Click to expand...
You are overthinking things to a ridiculous degree.

You only just met this girl last night and she's already causing you this much stress? Just calm down and let things flow slowly and naturally.

You guys spoke about chatting on facebook so do just that. Add her and send her a little message saying you enjoyed dancing/chatting with her and that's all. If she's interested, she'll respond and you can build on from there.
 
I met a girl. She is in one of my classes, and we were hanging out with 3 other guys. we ended up following home the next morning, and ate breakfast together. I sort of clumsely suggested if we should eat together next week. we shared some intimate talks. it sounded like heavy shit. I feel like I am on the verge of either friend zone, or going for it.

She is pretty, small and petite. the opposite of me. I think she is very quiet, fragile and I don't think her self esteem is that high. I probably need to be a bit more emotional, than I would have been with an out-going girl who gets drunk every weekend.
another guy in our class was with her for a couple of weeks back. I consider him a friend, but just a casual friend. we hanged out for the first time outside of school yesterday. Does bro's before hoes, apply here you think? or am I allowed to try to hit that without his permission?





FStop7 said:
This is her attempting to assert a form of control over you from afar. Probably to make her feel better about herself and make herself feel validated at your expense. Calling her a bitch means she wins.

Say nothing, she is a non-factor in your life. Your life is good and you are free of those negative influences. If she persists then kindly ask her to end contact.
Click to expand...

Women seem to be emotional beings. Be steady as a rock when she is not. her mood swings... her dissapearings acts.. her jealousy acts.. her hot and then cold acts.. all these things seems to be some sort of test to see how manly you are.


just like a little child who will do dumb shit, just to see how far they can get away with it without their parents getting angry. its testing borders. it's finding out how much power you have. parents who dont control this on their kids, raise little monsters. spineless parents are the worst.


i think women think that spineless men are the worst.

so she is bitching about not keeping contact. well first of all - you can be a gentlemen and at least call or reply back, and if you cancel an appointment, you can at least suggest a new time. if you do these things you leave the impression that you still wish to see her. anything past that unreasonable, in most cases (IMO).

dont play her game. dont be childish. be yourself. you dont need to do anything that is not something you wouldn't naturally do. but dont live for others, for her. thats when you get pussywhipped.
you can hang out with whoever the hell you want. how is she worthy of your time?
 
Vigilant Walrus said:
I met a girl. She is in one of my classes, and we were hanging out with 3 other guys. we ended up following home the next morning, and ate breakfast together. I sort of clumsely suggested if we should eat together next week. we shared some intimate talks. it sounded like heavy shit. I feel like I am on the verge of either friend zone, or going for it.

She is pretty, small and petite. the opposite of me. I think she is very quiet, fragile and I don't think her self esteem is that high. I probably need to be a bit more emotional, than I would have been with an out-going girl who gets drunk every weekend.
another guy in our class was with her for a couple of weeks back. I consider him a friend, but just a casual friend. we hanged out for the first time outside of school yesterday. Does bro's before hoes, apply here you think? or am I allowed to try to hit that without his permission?
Click to expand...



If he's not a close friend and she dosn't need more time to rebound or whatever she needs to do then the 'bros before hoes' line shouldn't to be followed.
 
I have a confession to make.....I made an OKCupid profile last night and messaged someone on there. She responded and seems interested. I think I might have a date with her at the very least. I was extremely hesitant about online dating in general, we'll see what happens I guess.
 
FStop7 said:
This is her attempting to assert a form of control over you from afar. Probably to make her feel better about herself and make herself feel validated at your expense. Calling her a bitch means she wins.

Say nothing, she is a non-factor in your life. Your life is good and you are free of those negative influences. If she persists then kindly ask her to end contact.
Click to expand...

Have to remember to take this advice at heart, more often when I dont. But Yes, very true.

There are people out there that will use you to boost their self-esteem, ego or other kinds of validation. At times its hard to see the difference between people who are genuinely into you, or just trying to get what they need out of you and move on.

EDIT: There are alot of social manipulators out there. Especially those who are in a socially powerfull postion tend to do this.

EDIT 2: also, the bold is VERY important. The moment you express any kind of emotional response to disrespect, the person in question will know he/she has you by the jewels.

Bringing out the big guns and useing a 'Silent treatment' is way more powerfull than most people believe.
 
Boozeroony said:
Had a date last night. Turned out she is divorced and has two kids and did not tell me upfront. Nonetheless, we went to her place (kids were with their father). Condom ripped and she is not on birth control. Fuck this.

First time I made love to a woman who has kids. It feels different indeed.
Click to expand...

I'd be very hesitant towards some who have kids, especially those who aren't paranoid about getting pregnant again. No birth control when she's on her second kid?
 
FStop7 said:
This is her attempting to assert a form of control over you from afar. Probably to make her feel better about herself and make herself feel validated at your expense. Calling her a bitch means she wins.

Say nothing, she is a non-factor in your life. Your life is good and you are free of those negative influences. If she persists then kindly ask her to end contact.
Click to expand...
She ended up messaging me again, asking me how my life is. For whatever reason she's stopped bitching and has instead been friendly again. Either way, my defense is up but I'm still chatting. And you're right: Better not to say anything. Nothing makes a bitch angrier than when she truly thinks you don't care! :)
 
Jroderton said:
Yeah, but about what? Speaking in person is so much easier, Imo. There is only a profile to go off, which should make it easier I suppose, but seems kind of awkward.
Click to expand...
That's exactly what you do. talk about her interests and how they're similar to yours, say something you've done and ask if she has too (such as an interest in hiking, mention you've gone camping or whatever).

Not too long but not "hey bb sup you're a cutie"
 
FStop7 said:
Your "smile of death" photo is much better than your current main pic. You should try getting a new photo more in that style (in which you are looking relaxed, natural, and enjoying yourself) in which you're looking a little bit more toward the camera.

You downplay yourself too much in your profile.

.
Click to expand...

Oh, I always thought the general consensus was to use pictures where you're not looking toward the camera. I can upload a few more then.

Ya, writing about myself has never been my greatest strength, it's the reason why I deleted my profile the last time I used OKC. Well back to redoing my entire profile.
 
I've got about ten minutes between classes and want to hit on a girl right after the first class but she hangs with another female friend of hers. I can engage both with conversation but obviously at some point due to the time constraint I have to ask her out. Should I just ask the friend if I can borrow the girl? Or is there another way to do this?
 
onemic said:
Oh, I always thought the general consensus was to use pictures where you're not looking toward the camera. I can upload a few more then.

Ya, writing about myself has never been my greatest strength, it's the reason why I deleted my profile the last time I used OKC. Well back to redoing my entire profile.
Click to expand...

o_O. I would just say include the pics in which you look your best. And if you have a friend that's a woman ask her which pictures she prefers.
 
Devolution said:
o_O. I would just say include the pics in which you look your best. And if you have a friend that's a woman ask her which pictures she prefers.
Click to expand...
Off of oktrends:

http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/the-4-big-myths-of-profile-pictures/
Men’s photos are most effective when they look away from the camera and don’t smile:

men_smiling2.png
Click to expand...
 
onemic said:
Oh, I always thought the general consensus was to use pictures where you're not looking toward the camera. I can upload a few more then.

Ya, writing about myself has never been my greatest strength, it's the reason why I deleted my profile the last time I used OKC. Well back to redoing my entire profile.
Click to expand...
There are statistics on OKC that show that is somewhat true for males yes, but really now, I doubt the percentage is that significant in the long run. But I suppose it couldn't hurt. A good way of going about it is to either do the opposite of what others do, or the opposite of what you use to do.

Edit: Beaten :)
 
So I might be having a date with OKC girl on Thursday, providing she doesn't have any school work to do that day, but she does seem legitimately interested.
 
Hylian7 said:
So I might be having a date with OKC girl on Thursday, providing she doesn't have any school work to do that day, but she does seem legitimately interested.
Click to expand...

Nice.

I'm currently watching my inbox like a fucking hawk after I sent the first message. I hate this.
 
Detox said:
I've got about ten minutes between classes and want to hit on a girl right after the first class but she hangs with another female friend of hers. I can engage both with conversation but obviously at some point due to the time constraint I have to ask her out. Should I just ask the friend if I can borrow the girl? Or is there another way to do this?
Click to expand...

I don't think you should ask her friend to borrow her, that just complicates things. I'm thinking you should just ask her out, no matter if the friend is there or not. But only if you asses she wont get embarrassed by it. If you're afraid she might get embarrased just engage them both in conversation and at some point ask if you can talk to her alone, and ask her out :) i ususally think the simple tricks are the best. Worst thing is to over-think things.
 
Don't know about her being embarrassed the main thing I'm worried about is the conversation will switch from the three of us to just two while we're still in a group which could make it awkward for both women and definitely for myself. Maybe I'm just being way too nice and overthinking it.
 
Jroderton said:
Nice.

I'm currently watching my inbox like a fucking hawk after I sent the first message. I hate this.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't take my advice on this as gospel or anything, but just make sure you say something specific that you like about their profile or something like that, and compliment them somehow. Part of mine was "You are really cute." Again, don't take this as blanket fact, as this is my first time ever doing this.
 
FStop7 said:
slow. down.

honestly it might already be too late. just take it easy and let things unfold. if you push then it's guaranteed to go nowhere.
Click to expand...

Aurora said:
You are overthinking things to a ridiculous degree.

You only just met this girl last night and she's already causing you this much stress? Just calm down and let things flow slowly and naturally.

You guys spoke about chatting on facebook so do just that. Add her and send her a little message saying you enjoyed dancing/chatting with her and that's all. If she's interested, she'll respond and you can build on from there.
Click to expand...

She replyed to my e-mail late last night so I didn't respond so she doesn't get the idea I was eagerly waiting for her reply, and it would also be a very late time to respond to an e-mail I thought.

She said 'yeah, let's meet and have fun.' She also gave me her number and asked if I had school today.

Where do you go from here? It's Monday. I don't have classes until mid April but I do have my research that I'm working (procrastinating) on as a grad student. I consider myself to be on a vacation.

I think I should text her, since I got her number, the girl is apparently interested but I don't want to blow it. It is still 9am so she must be at work. When to text and what to say? I think I should be making plans. What would be a good place for a first date? Is bringing flowers and putting on a suit for the first date a stupid idea?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

Dating app could be in trouble, and here's what may take their place
40
3K
AJUMP23 replied
Anyone here look and feel younger than their age?
2
86
3K
Hazzard4life replied
I had a surprisingly nice Warner Bros night
1
598
Vyse replied
Am I being pathetic here
43
500
kpopSuperstar replied
I'm tired of being the nice guy at work.
2 3 4
153
10K
IlGialloMondadori replied
Top Bottom