Dating-Age |OT3| Positivity, Confidence, and Not Being a "Nice" Guy

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Posted this in Dr. Eggman's thread, but I figured I should post it here. Not really sure what I want out of you guys, but since I typed it out, I might as well hear some comments.

I'm in a situation with a girl that I'm just not 100% sure. We work together in loose terms, we are planning/running a program at college which requires us to be pretty close. We get along extremely well, and she sometimes makes little offhand remarks like "we should do a group run together", on the surface this isn't aimed just at me because we are almost always in a group, but she knows I'm the only serious runner in the group. I sometimes catch her straight up staring at me, and while she isn't a very flirty person, her texts have the "heyy" thing going on and she isn't afraid of contact with me/she initiates it a lot of the time even if it's not suggestive at all. A lot of this could just be my personal bias though. She has also started to wait for me after our meetings finish because we live in the same dorm, so we walk back together/alone. Basically the only time I'm alone with her.

I basically can just wait until after our program is done and ask her out, which would negate the whole "dipping pen in the company ink" thing, and it would also save me the hassle of asking her out when we only have two weeks of school before going home for the summer.

How long is the program going to run for? If it is not too long, it would be fun to fool around in between, and it could be a great relationship-building experience.

On the flip side, if you are misinterpreting the signals wrong, it will be the most awkward time of your life if you come full on onto her.

I would casually ask her out on the weekend to go out and party/hang out, with no plans to hook up. See how the night goes, and if she gets close/ shows clear interest, go for it.
 
How long is the program going to run for? If it is not too long, it would be fun to fool around in between, and it could be a great relationship-building experience.

On the flip side, if you are misinterpreting the signals wrong, it will be the most awkward time of your life if you come full on onto her.

I would casually ask her out on the weekend to go out and party/hang out, with no plans to hook up. See how the night goes, and if she gets close/ shows clear interest, go for it.

We have an organized party Wednesday night where I could do that. I wouldn't go for a hookup with her anyways, she is a really pure type of girl, never drank before this year, never had a boyfriend, (and I'm not positive about this, but most likely a virgin). What makes her so attractive to a lot of guys is how innocent she is.

Listening to "Call Me Maybe" is sort of semi-depressing. It's that yearning thing. That's all, thought I'd share.

At college that song immediately gets all the girls up dancing, thank you to whoever wrote that song!
 
I was seeing this girl for a few months. I ended a few weeks ago after I realized I wasn't completely there for her and I wouldn't be for a long time. I didn't want to lead her on. It's been nearly 7 months since my ex dumped me. We were together for nearly 4 years and I thought I was starting to get over her, however the more I got involved with the current girl, the more I realized I still held a ton of feelings for her and according to the current girl, I said I still loved the ex while drunk one night. I don't know what I want really. I'm completely stressed out about my current situation. My life is no where near together. Judging from her Tweets, she still is trying to convince herself she made the right decision. While her drunk texts say that she misses me so much and wishes she still wanted it all from me. She's confused. I know that for sure.

I'm pretty confused myself. I'm enjoying my time being single, but hating it all at the same time. I commute to school 20 hours a week and work around 50 hours a week. My father is extremely depressed and is constantly lashing out at my bed ridden mother as she recovers from major reconstructive surgery on her knee. On top of that, I'm trying to live my own life. Oh and my doctor kind of slipped and said I might have some form of hepatitis or cancer based on my symptoms. I'm currently waiting to hear back from him after doing some bloodwork last week.

Each day, I wish I had someone to talk to that wasn't paid to listen to me every week. My friends are all away at school and I'm stuck at home or work just drowning in my own thoughts. I just wish I was still with her. In these circumstances, I want her more because she's safe and someone I can comfortably vent to, but it's also because I genuinely miss her. I plan on continuing to focus on myself as best as I can until I feel more than satisfactory with my life talk to her again. I really want to right now, but I know I'm no where near ready to start speaking to her again and it seems like she isn't ready to talk to me. We're both struggling and both of us need a break. For her, she needs one from school and it's lifestyle. I need one from life.
 
Quick update for those who are interested:

My girl is coming over on Saturday, she'll stay the night.
She's going to meet my parents (and is looking forward to it) and we plan on spending the afternoon in the city and then play games (Guild Wars 2 for example) all evening/night.
It'll also be the first time we bang in a bed :D
 
How long is the program going to run for? If it is not too long, it would be fun to fool around in between, and it could be a great relationship-building experience.

On the flip side, if you are misinterpreting the signals wrong, it will be the most awkward time of your life if you come full on onto her.

I would casually ask her out on the weekend to go out and party/hang out, with no plans to hook up. See how the night goes, and if she gets close/ shows clear interest, go for it.
Just what I was going to say.

We have an organized party Wednesday night where I could do that. I wouldn't go for a hookup with her anyways, she is a really pure type of girl, never drank before this year, never had a boyfriend, (and I'm not positive about this, but most likely a virgin). What makes her so attractive to a lot of guys is how innocent she is.
Are you sure of any of that?

Quick update for those who are interested:

My girl is coming over on Saturday, she'll stay the night.
She's going to meet my parents (and is looking forward to it) and we plan on spending the afternoon in the city and then play games (Guild Wars 2 for example) all evening/night.
It'll also be the first time we bang in a bed :D

Isn't it a bit too soon?

Aaanyways, congrats. Weren't you the one who had some problem about it and was gonna try the no-porn thing?
 
Isn't it a bit too soon?

Aaanyways, congrats. Weren't you the one who had some problem about it and was gonna try the no-porn thing?

Well I live in the front half of our house and my parents in the back half, so it's kinda inevitable that they meet anyway. We want to do some stuff in the city and hang at my place, would be a bit stupid/weird of me to try and hide her from my parents.

And yeah, I had trouble to get an orgasm during our sexy times, but it's since been remedied.
I'll still cut down my porn usage considerably and basically stopped fapping.
She's, uh, pretty demanding in bed and I want to give her what she likes.
 
So uh, things happened last night.

I was walking to the local convenience store at around 11pm last night. As I was crossing the road, there was a car parked at the intersection. It was the only car on the road at the time, since it was kinda late. There were two girls in the car who were probably around my age or a little younger (around 21, I'm guessing), and they both started yelling out of their windows at me. I assumed that they were either shit-faced or just trying to get a reaction from me (possibly both) so I shook my head in bewilderment and walked away.

Then one of them shouted out "I really like your hair!" and I replied with "uh, thanks?" and continued on my way. They might have been just pulling my leg, though. I am not ugly, but by no means am I an Adonis of any kind. My hair is long, I have a beard (no neckbeard though), I was wearing a black hooded sweater with the hood down, white shorts, and sandals.

I guess I'm reading too much into this, but maybe I'm not the fat ugly beast I thought I was.
 
That's great man :) Honestly, that response of yours feels fairly normal and justified imho xD That's just a bit weird, isn't it? Stopping and talking to them might've been nice, but just walking away seems valid enough as well to me.

Also, there is no maybe. Of course you're not a beast! Very few people are, and from what I've seen, you're not one of them. It might be as you say, that you aren't an Adonis, but I'd tell myself I am anyway, and one day people will see you as one. Looks aren't worth all that much and beauty fade fast. The good stuff in people's hearts don't fade with time.
 
That's great man :) Honestly, that response of yours feels fairly normal and justified imho xD That's just a bit weird, isn't it? Stopping and talking to them might've been nice, but just walking away seems valid enough as well to me.

Also, there is no maybe. Of course you're not a beast! Very few people are, and from what I've seen, you're not one of them. It might be as you say, that you aren't an Adonis, but I'd tell myself I am anyway, and one day people will see you as one. Looks aren't worth all that much and beauty fade fast. The good stuff in people's hearts don't fade with time.

It would have been impractical to strike up a conversation with two girls in a car stopped at a red light. I just wish I had more attractive features, as it would certainly make my life that much easier.
 
So uh, things happened last night.

I was walking to the local convenience store at around 11pm last night. As I was crossing the road, there was a car parked at the intersection. It was the only car on the road at the time, since it was kinda late. There were two girls in the car who were probably around my age or a little younger (around 21, I'm guessing), and they both started yelling out of their windows at me. I assumed that they were either shit-faced or just trying to get a reaction from me (possibly both) so I shook my head in bewilderment and walked away.

Then one of them shouted out "I really like your hair!" and I replied with "uh, thanks?" and continued on my way. They might have been just pulling my leg, though. I am not ugly, but by no means am I an Adonis of any kind. My hair is long, I have a beard (no neckbeard though), I was wearing a black hooded sweater with the hood down, white shorts, and sandals.

I guess I'm reading too much into this, but maybe I'm not the fat ugly beast I thought I was.

Without being there, I would guess the same, that they were drunk as hell, and somewhat trying to get a reaction for their actions. It happens a fair bit to me and the girls are always smashed out of their minds.
 
Big thank you to a couple people in this thread. I asked for advice and was told not to contact a girl because she would get back to me if she wanted me. And she did. And we've gone out a few times since then.

Bad news is, I think I may have royally screwed up during sex. She didn't seem that into it and it took me forever to get off. And after a few minutes she asked for lube which I did not have, so that was awkward. Plus there was a pause where she said, "Do you want to stop?" Talk about a mood killer. Afterwards she was like, "So, I'm pretty busy for the next few weeks." Bad times. Not sure what to do with this now.

Need more advice!
 
Big thank you to a couple people in this thread. I asked for advice and was told not to contact a girl because she would get back to me if she wanted me. And she did. And we've gone out a few times since then.

Bad news is, I think I may have royally screwed up during sex. She didn't seem that into it and it took me forever to get off. And after a few minutes she asked for lube which I did not have, so that was awkward. Plus there was a pause where she said, "Do you want to stop?" Talk about a mood killer. Afterwards she was like, "So, I'm pretty busy for the next few weeks." Bad times. Not sure what to do with this now.

Need more advice!

Was it your first time?

How comfortable are you with giving oral?
 
Well I live in the front half of our house and my parents in the back half, so it's kinda inevitable that they meet anyway. We want to do some stuff in the city and hang at my place, would be a bit stupid/weird of me to try and hide her from my parents.

And yeah, I had trouble to get an orgasm during our sexy times, but it's since been remedied.
I'll still cut down my porn usage considerably and basically stopped fapping.
She's, uh, pretty demanding in bed and I want to give her what she likes.
Didn't know that, it's okay in that case.

She sounds like my kind of girl. Practice dat oral.

Not my first time. Okay, this is weird, too: I was moving in to go down on her and she says, "so are you going to fuck me?" And I say, "No foreplay? Okay." And then we went right to sex/her giving me oral.
She didn't reply to that?
 
Without being there, I would guess the same, that they were drunk as hell, and somewhat trying to get a reaction for their actions. It happens a fair bit to me and the girls are always smashed out of their minds.

And for a second I thought the compliment was legit. Bummer. D:
 
She kept you from going down on her and then complained about dryness? Erm. Anyway you're making her sound altogether pretty banal and terse, which paints a weird picture for being in bed with someone.
 
Big thank you to a couple people in this thread. I asked for advice and was told not to contact a girl because she would get back to me if she wanted me. And she did. And we've gone out a few times since then.

Bad news is, I think I may have royally screwed up during sex. She didn't seem that into it and it took me forever to get off. And after a few minutes she asked for lube which I did not have, so that was awkward. Plus there was a pause where she said, "Do you want to stop?" Talk about a mood killer. Afterwards she was like, "So, I'm pretty busy for the next few weeks." Bad times. Not sure what to do with this now.

Need more advice!

Not my first time. Okay, this is weird, too: I was moving in to go down on her and she says, "so are you going to fuck me?" And I say, "No foreplay? Okay." And then we went right to sex/her giving me oral.

1EYZd.gif
 
That really sounds like she just wanted to get it over with and wasn't really enjoying herself dude.

(Also, from today on it'll be only two more months untill my girlfriend is back in Belgium. Yay!)
 
Was she alright before that? It seems she was uncomfortable for some reason.

She was fine. Everything before that went as well as could be. We had made out each of the last couple dates and it was clear that we were going to have sex on this date as it was the first time she came over to my place.

It might not be as bad as I'm making it sound. She did stay for a while afterwards and we just chilled and talked. And in bed she was asking questions like, "What do you like?" and "What do you want me to do?" so it's not as if she was just lying there with a puss on. And she gave head enthusiastically enough. I may be over-analyzing things.
 
I was seeing this girl for a few months. I ended a few weeks ago after I realized I wasn't completely there for her and I wouldn't be for a long time. I didn't want to lead her on. It's been nearly 7 months since my ex dumped me. We were together for nearly 4 years and I thought I was starting to get over her, however the more I got involved with the current girl, the more I realized I still held a ton of feelings for her and according to the current girl, I said I still loved the ex while drunk one night. I don't know what I want really. I'm completely stressed out about my current situation. My life is no where near together. Judging from her Tweets, she still is trying to convince herself she made the right decision. While her drunk texts say that she misses me so much and wishes she still wanted it all from me. She's confused. I know that for sure.

I'm pretty confused myself. I'm enjoying my time being single, but hating it all at the same time. I commute to school 20 hours a week and work around 50 hours a week. My father is extremely depressed and is constantly lashing out at my bed ridden mother as she recovers from major reconstructive surgery on her knee. On top of that, I'm trying to live my own life. Oh and my doctor kind of slipped and said I might have some form of hepatitis or cancer based on my symptoms. I'm currently waiting to hear back from him after doing some bloodwork last week.

Each day, I wish I had someone to talk to that wasn't paid to listen to me every week. My friends are all away at school and I'm stuck at home or work just drowning in my own thoughts. I just wish I was still with her. In these circumstances, I want her more because she's safe and someone I can comfortably vent to, but it's also because I genuinely miss her. I plan on continuing to focus on myself as best as I can until I feel more than satisfactory with my life talk to her again. I really want to right now, but I know I'm no where near ready to start speaking to her again and it seems like she isn't ready to talk to me. We're both struggling and both of us need a break. For her, she needs one from school and it's lifestyle. I need one from life.
Sorry to hear this man. I'm vaguely familiar with your situation but it's been awhile since we've spoken so it's a little foggy right now.

I think it's only natural for you to feel the way that you do. In times of need like the situation you've described, our natural inclination is to cling towards the people who've been there the most for us. You two were together for 4 years. She obviously falls into that category and undoubtedly had a huge effect on your life. Now that she's not there, you're left with this void that only gets bigger when you get into situations like the one you've described (family problems, work/school, etc.), because she's not there to fill it.

So what do you do? Unfortunately, I can't speak from experience here. I've never been in a relationship longer than 6 months let alone 4 years. I would try and fill that void with some of your friends, if possible. I know you said they're busy and/or not accessible to talk to during these times, in which case, try and preoccupy yourself with activities until they are. Hell, keep posting on GAF. Pretty much anything that will keep you active and keep you from sitting in your room thinking about your ex. You said you plan on continuing to focus on yourself and I think that's the best course of action here.

I know I'm not telling you anything you don't already know but hopefully it helps anyway. Either way, I'll be wishing you the best and hoping that things start to smooth out here soon. You'll make it!
 
I was seeing this girl for a few months. I ended a few weeks ago after I realized I wasn't completely there for her and I wouldn't be for a long time. I didn't want to lead her on. It's been nearly 7 months since my ex dumped me. We were together for nearly 4 years and I thought I was starting to get over her, however the more I got involved with the current girl, the more I realized I still held a ton of feelings for her and according to the current girl, I said I still loved the ex while drunk one night. I don't know what I want really. I'm completely stressed out about my current situation. My life is no where near together. Judging from her Tweets, she still is trying to convince herself she made the right decision. While her drunk texts say that she misses me so much and wishes she still wanted it all from me. She's confused. I know that for sure.

I'm pretty confused myself. I'm enjoying my time being single, but hating it all at the same time. I commute to school 20 hours a week and work around 50 hours a week. My father is extremely depressed and is constantly lashing out at my bed ridden mother as she recovers from major reconstructive surgery on her knee. On top of that, I'm trying to live my own life. Oh and my doctor kind of slipped and said I might have some form of hepatitis or cancer based on my symptoms. I'm currently waiting to hear back from him after doing some bloodwork last week.

Each day, I wish I had someone to talk to that wasn't paid to listen to me every week. My friends are all away at school and I'm stuck at home or work just drowning in my own thoughts. I just wish I was still with her. In these circumstances, I want her more because she's safe and someone I can comfortably vent to, but it's also because I genuinely miss her. I plan on continuing to focus on myself as best as I can until I feel more than satisfactory with my life talk to her again. I really want to right now, but I know I'm no where near ready to start speaking to her again and it seems like she isn't ready to talk to me. We're both struggling and both of us need a break. For her, she needs one from school and it's lifestyle. I need one from life.

That was mostly my story last year, man (except we were together 3 years and I didn't have cancer) . Since I feel good now, I can only give you one advice: give you some time.

When you get to the bottom of the barrel, the only thing that can happen is going up and at the surface again.
 
Hey Dating-age, been a while since I visited you...

I'd been seeing a girl for a while (two dates so far), and things were doing well (for once; it's perhaps the only time things have ever seemed to work on both ends for me). We weren't official, but we were both into each other, and had a blast.

But there's always a but. We understood from the start that it might not last as we're in internships (different places, but we studied in the same school) and should she get a job offer, we'd end up about 500km away. She did get an offer last week, so of course it won't be getting any more serious.

That being said, I decided to ask her out one last time while we still have a week nearby. We'll be spending the day together on saturday.

I'm not especially worried about anything, we'll just take it easy and visit the city for a day. But I'm just curious if that's ever happened to other gaffers since it's sort of a weird spot to be in. Anyone here been on this kind of agreed-upon last date before?
 
So this girl tells me that she likes me, but she won't do anything with me. Anytime I try, she says she's not ready. We both leave to go home from college in less than two weeks. Seems like a complete waste of time even bothering here since she's so stuck on her stance on this.
 
So this girl tells me that she likes me, but she won't do anything with me. Anytime I try, she says she's not ready. We both leave to go home from college in less than two weeks. Seems like a complete waste of time even bothering here since she's so stuck on her stance on this.
Yes. To hell with her, go try to find another girl. I had to come to grips with this a few months ago.

Anyways...if I had some better pictures (or if I actually looked good in pictures :\ ) I would think about making an OKCupid profile for the summer, but that's probably not gonna happen.

This girl I haven't talked to in like 6 months came up to me in class (apparently we're both in it) and starts flirting with me and says we should study for our final together. But she didn't give me her number and instead told me to message her over facebook since we're already friends, lol.... Not holding my breath on this one (though I did send a message).
 
If she wanted to see him, she would text him. Plus, she's in your class, so if you want to show how needy you are and text her, go ahead.

This isn't one of those situations. He should txt her casual, like someone said kinda like "Hey I'm going to x, wanna come along?". After that, then the ball is entirely in her court.
 
Gaf theres a cute girl in my room....we work together in the summer...but itll be our last summer working together....idk if shes interested but im going for it oh god

Go for it. Good luck!

So uh, things happened last night.

I was walking to the local convenience store at around 11pm last night. As I was crossing the road, there was a car parked at the intersection. It was the only car on the road at the time, since it was kinda late. There were two girls in the car who were probably around my age or a little younger (around 21, I'm guessing), and they both started yelling out of their windows at me. I assumed that they were either shit-faced or just trying to get a reaction from me (possibly both) so I shook my head in bewilderment and walked away.

Then one of them shouted out "I really like your hair!" and I replied with "uh, thanks?" and continued on my way. They might have been just pulling my leg, though. I am not ugly, but by no means am I an Adonis of any kind. My hair is long, I have a beard (no neckbeard though), I was wearing a black hooded sweater with the hood down, white shorts, and sandals.

I guess I'm reading too much into this, but maybe I'm not the fat ugly beast I thought I was.

That's always fun. Though on the one or two occasions this happened to me, it was just unintelligible gibberish.

Big thank you to a couple people in this thread. I asked for advice and was told not to contact a girl because she would get back to me if she wanted me. And she did. And we've gone out a few times since then.

Bad news is, I think I may have royally screwed up during sex. She didn't seem that into it and it took me forever to get off. And after a few minutes she asked for lube which I did not have, so that was awkward. Plus there was a pause where she said, "Do you want to stop?" Talk about a mood killer. Afterwards she was like, "So, I'm pretty busy for the next few weeks." Bad times. Not sure what to do with this now.

Need more advice!

supernatural_confusedbdy5p.gif


That's weird. How exactly did you wind up in bed with her? She seems not in the mood.
 
So uh, things happened last night.

I was walking to the local convenience store at around 11pm last night. As I was crossing the road, there was a car parked at the intersection. It was the only car on the road at the time, since it was kinda late. There were two girls in the car who were probably around my age or a little younger (around 21, I'm guessing), and they both started yelling out of their windows at me. I assumed that they were either shit-faced or just trying to get a reaction from me (possibly both) so I shook my head in bewilderment and walked away.

Then one of them shouted out "I really like your hair!" and I replied with "uh, thanks?" and continued on my way. They might have been just pulling my leg, though. I am not ugly, but by no means am I an Adonis of any kind. My hair is long, I have a beard (no neckbeard though), I was wearing a black hooded sweater with the hood down, white shorts, and sandals.

I guess I'm reading too much into this, but maybe I'm not the fat ugly beast I thought I was.

Just wait until a (drunk) girl flashes her tits at you randomly from a car. That was fun, lol.

Feels so good gymming and making eye contact with most of the girls as they check me out. Shame most of them appear attached.
 
And for a second I thought the compliment was legit. Bummer. D:

At least drunk chicks are at least humorous like that. Their XY counterparts tend to call you a "faggot" and the like. Plus you probably did having something going for you otherwise the wouldn't have done it to you, I suppose.
 
Ok guys I just want to get some advice on one part because I've not been in this situation before and don't want to make a cock up.

I met this girl on Saturday when I went to see a friends gig and we instantly started talking about video games and things, her being a big Valve (Half life, Portal) and Nintendo (Loves Zelda series a lot) fan, we instantly hit it on and I asked for her number and then soon she added me on facebook the day after.

We met up at a bar last night, so we saw each other for the first time on Saturday and then met on the Tuesday and talked for several hours. She planned to be there for a little bit since she's busy with her last part of work but we was enjoying ourselves too much on talking and our interests it expanded quite a fair more length of time, it was a great time and we hugged each other goodbye and she replied back onto a text with me that she said it was cool seeing my friends too and again thanked for a lovely time out and it was so much fun. I did make her laugh a lot and she was very impressed with my background and liked how we’ve got a lot in common in many things and she’s happy to come round my place very soon (hopefully next week at some point) so I can cook us a nice meal and we can enjoy talking together while watching our favourite shows or play some games. I did say on this when she yes in a cheeky fashion “it’s a date” and she smiled back and said yes, even though that I didn’t intend to say it come out of me, which was a good thing. But here’s the thing I am a bit blinded on.

She went out of a long distant relationship a week before and they were together for 7 months. The guy left her for saying how he wasn’t over his ex. I told her I come out of a 5 year relationship a few months back and I am over her and enjoying my life, and she does refer him as her ex and doesn’t seem to want to go back with him and so forth.

I have very strong feelings for her, I’ve not felt like this in ages and I know when my feelings are true and I would like to go out with her but I don’t know when’s the best time to ask her and how to do in this situation as of the above that’s happened (she never mentioned him or anything, it was only when I asked about her situation and she was very content with herself so it doesn’t seem she was that affected) and I don’t want to make a cock up. Heck, I don’t know what I should do on how often I should talk to her and things as I don’t want to make her feel like if I will be a bother but I don’t get that impression in the slightest on the few text messages and Facebook chats we have had, and it always worked around very well when she’s finishing her last bit of uni work. What to do gaf? I am usually very smooth and feel in control when it’s come to having fun with random ladies but this one feels much more than that with me and I would love to be with her, that’s how I feel with it.
 
Shiiit. Bumped into the girl I dated for two months last fall. I was really into her at the time, but she wanted to be just friends after our two month relationship. Seeing her today got my feelings up again and now I'm pissed we couldn't work it out. She seemed really happy seeing me and was so cheery.

Got me thinking I don't have these kinds of feelings towards the girl I'm dating now and I'm not feeling too good about her after bumping to the other girl. I'm confused again and don't know what to do. I might want a girl with a similar cheery, cute and kind nature as the girl I dated before.
 
Ok guys I just want to get some advice on one part because I've not been in this situation before and don't want to make a cock up.

I met this girl on Saturday when I went to see a friends gig and we instantly started talking about video games and things, her being a big Valve (Half life, Portal) and Nintendo (Loves Zelda series a lot) fan, we instantly hit it on and I asked for her number and then soon she added me on facebook the day after.

We met up at a bar last night, so we saw each other for the first time on Saturday and then met on the Tuesday and talked for several hours. She planned to be there for a little bit since she's busy with her last part of work but we was enjoying ourselves too much on talking and our interests it expanded quite a fair more length of time, it was a great time and we hugged each other goodbye and she replied back onto a text with me that she said it was cool seeing my friends too and again thanked for a lovely time out and it was so much fun. I did make her laugh a lot and she was very impressed with my background and liked how we’ve got a lot in common in many things and she’s happy to come round my place very soon (hopefully next week at some point) so I can cook us a nice meal and we can enjoy talking together while watching our favourite shows or play some games. I did say on this when she yes in a cheeky fashion “it’s a date” and she smiled back and said yes, even though that I didn’t intend to say it come out of me, which was a good thing. But here’s the thing I am a bit blinded on.

She went out of a long distant relationship a week before and they were together for 7 months. The guy left her for saying how he wasn’t over his ex. I told her I come out of a 5 year relationship a few months back and I am over her and enjoying my life, and she does refer him as her ex and doesn’t seem to want to go back with him and so forth.

I have very strong feelings for her, I’ve not felt like this in ages and I know when my feelings are true and I would like to go out with her but I don’t know when’s the best time to ask her and how to do in this situation as of the above that’s happened (she never mentioned him or anything, it was only when I asked about her situation and she was very content with herself so it doesn’t seem she was that affected) and I don’t want to make a cock up. Heck, I don’t know what I should do on how often I should talk to her and things as I don’t want to make her feel like if I will be a bother but I don’t get that impression in the slightest on the few text messages and Facebook chats we have had, and it always worked around very well when she’s finishing her last bit of uni work. What to do gaf? I am usually very smooth and feel in control when it’s come to having fun with random ladies but this one feels much more than that with me and I would love to be with her, that’s how I feel with it.
While this sounds really cool for you, please keep in mind that a girl liking videogames and the same shows you do does not mean she is automatically a good partner. Not saying you are thinking that, but on the other hand, it wouldnt be unheard of for guys to think that way.

Anyway, i dont really see the problem? She wants to come over, so i take it you've already planned a date for it? If not, just ask her tomorrow or friday if she wants to come over on friday/saturday evening? Based on your story im sure she'll be happy to come. See how that goes and take it from there.

If your dinner date goes well you can probably plan a new date the same evening, so do that. If you get another date, i would caution against talking too much to her in the days leading up to the date, so you've got things to talk about during the date. So dont have chats which last for hours, you can do that once things develop into a real relationship.

We cant really tell how often you should text her or chat on her on facebook or whatever. That depends on the girl: some like it if you give them a lot of attention, others like their independence more. You just have to get a feeling for it, but my experience is that girls usually like it if you give them some attention. Had a first date a couple of weeks ago, which went very well, and i send her a text two days later just asking how she was doing. It was just a short message, but it showed interest in her, which she really appreciated.

And her coming out of a relationship, well, if she seems fine with it, you should be fine with it too. Her coming out of a LDR might mean she was already getting over her ex before the split finally happened, and 7 months isn't all that long. I wouldnt worry about it too much.
 
"The one" is something that romantic comedies tells us we should strive for, but which is completely unrealistic to expect. You need to find someone who you can stand not only today and tomorrow, but in ten years time, or in twenty years time. And that might even be a person which takes a bit more work to find that connection with, while people you have an instant connection with might be unsuitable for you in the end.

Yup, I thinks its pure jokes that people think everything should just "click" with "the one"and work for X amount of years until they shuffle of their mortal coil.
And liking everything eachother likes is not a requirment and I think it would be pretty dull to be honest.
 
so here's the situation living with friends recently in a two story house

There's this girl 23-24? Recent Chinese immigrant upstairs that seems like a ghost up at 6-7 am for work and back home @ god knows what hr but I know she exist and she does me, when said hi a number of times smiles and all she speaks Cantonese and I know that shit....

HOW do I approach her ? Do I just go upstairs and well do what exactly ?

I don't wanna go upstairs with literally nothing but dick in hand looking foolish

Wished it was that easy....

She has no internet

Seems akward as fuck though....

Any ideas GAF ?

I've had GFs and relationships in the past but those were fall ass backward lucky as fuck kind where she approached me....
 
And for a second I thought the compliment was legit. Bummer. D:
Raw, stop seeking the approval of others. You don't need it. While compliments are nice, your confidence is all you need and that comes from being comfortable with yourself. You know you're not ugly and you know you're working hard to be a better you. So who gives a fuck if those girls meant it or not? The drive for self improvement is incredibly attractive and you will exhibit that when you realize your own approval is what matters.

so here's the situation living with friends recently in a two story house

There's this girl 23-24? Recent Chinese immigrant upstairs that seems like a ghost up at 6-7 am for work and back home @ god knows what hr but I know she exist and she does me, when said hi a number of times smiles and all she speaks Cantonese and I know that shit....

HOW do I approach her ? Do I just go upstairs and well do what exactly ?

I don't wanna go upstairs with literally nothing but dick in hand looking foolish

Wished it was that easy....

She has no internet

Seems akward as fuck though....

Any ideas GAF ?

I've had GFs and relationships in the past but those were fall ass backward lucky as fuck kind where she approached me....
Knock on her door and say "hey you're hungry? I know this great place to yum cha. Come join me. Oh I.m Emily chu by the way."

In truth it doesn't really matter what you say. Just make a move. The more time you dwell on this the more nervous you'll be.
 
Knock on her door and say "hey you're hungry? I know this great place to yum cha. Come join me. Oh I.m Emily chu by the way."

In truth it doesn't really matter what you say. Just make a move. The more time you dwell on this the more nervous you'll be.

Well she still lives with her two parents, should I bring my cousin (female 23) too into this yum cha ?

just to break the ice a bit maybe

thanks for the advice, other then that what other useful tidbits can be offered up ?
 
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