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FRIDAY NIGHT [OT] - Official NeoGAF Weekend Kickoff

ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
Nitty_Grimes said:
I'm too old to drink how I used to drink (but I still drink how I used to drink)

Plus they upped my meds for the back pain and one of the stipulations was 'do not drink' and thought yeah fuck off... but then I woke up on the floor first weekend of trying them with zero knowledge of how I got there don't even know if I blacked out so that was a wake up call (haha didn't even mean that joke blacked out / wake up call ho hum!!) I live on my own and if I'd smashed my head on the side of a cupboard or something similar I would probably not be writing this.

But the course runs out this Friday. And of course there is no improvement to the back pain (well, maybe it is a little duller than it used to be) but I don't think I'll be having another months worth.
Click to expand...

Yeah alchohol really helps with chronic pain. It also makes it flair up the next day. Double edged sword. I also share your blackout experience expect i did hit my head and blacked out. Woke up with a red pillow and and horror scene in my hallway. No recollection.

I "only" started drinking heavily a decade ago. "X" happened and I lost all hope and will to live. Since then It's been on and off. Either all out or nothing for weeks/months.

Having a all or nothing character trait is quite something.
 
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V1LÆM

V1LÆM

Gold Member
22•22 said:
Preface: I'm guessing so no need to respond regarding my guess work seeing it's highly personal.

If the reason stems from psychological reasons like trauma or depression etc etc and if you know which it is you can seek help.

Stressful lifestyle; work/personal relations etc etc is more difficult perhaps but maybe you have to much on your plate in those regards.

I think it comes down to the initial core issue(s) at play which drive you to numb (???) yourself?

In any case you're self medicating I guess. Problem is that alcohol as your choice of coping works momentarily. The negatives outweigh the positives greatly and facilitates your inability/hesitation to seek help seeing that it fucks you up mentally and emotionally. Especially since your brain is probably operating from those side effects that are now normalized.

Again sorry if this comes across in whichever way.

I mean well.
Click to expand...
i know you mean well and i appreciate it :)

there have been some traumatic things but i would say i'm over them now so that's not really why i drink anymore. maybe back then it was a reason to drink. now it seems i drink to get rid of anxiety and fear. without going into it too much, i can have some crazy panic attacks and struggle to sleep. drinking makes me so tired i can jump into bed and sleep easily. even during the day i am still a very anxious person and overthink everything. all my life i've worried about something because i'm just the worrying kind of person and everything scares me. when i was a kid i was terrified to go out in the rain or if the sky was cloudy lol. it's a lot of stupid shit that bothers me but there are of course other serious things in my life.

aside from the drinking i find myself taking painkillers even if i don't need them. i'm not sure i'd say i'm addicted to them but this week i got hold of some strong ones and was takiing them just for the feeling of being relaxed and they help me stop feeling anxious. i can't get hold of them all the time or i'd be taking them every day. it's only now and then i can get them off someone as they need to be prescribed so it's not like i can go into a shop and buy them.
 
ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
nightmare-slain said:
i know you mean well and i appreciate it :)

there have been some traumatic things but i would say i'm over them now so that's not really why i drink anymore. maybe back then it was a reason to drink. now it seems i drink to get rid of anxiety and fear. without going into it too much, i can have some crazy panic attacks and struggle to sleep. drinking makes me so tired i can jump into bed and sleep easily. even during the day i am still a very anxious person and overthink everything. all my life i've worried about something because i'm just the worrying kind of person and everything scares me. when i was a kid i was terrified to go out in the rain or if the sky was cloudy lol. it's a lot of stupid shit that bothers me but there are of course other serious things in my life.

aside from the drinking i find myself taking painkillers even if i don't need them. i'm not sure i'd say i'm addicted to them but this week i got hold of some strong ones and was takiing them just for the feeling of being relaxed and they help me stop feeling anxious. i can't get hold of them all the time or i'd be taking them every day. it's only now and then i can get them off someone as they need to be prescribed so it's not like i can go into a shop and buy them.
Click to expand...

Wow. Respect for being so honest and describing your post as you have.

I'm always anxious and scared as well. Since I was a child like you. I (think) I know exactly how you feel... Your nervous system can only take so much so it's only logical to try to subdue that state of being. I hope you realize that. I can tell you that alchohol makes your sleep worse but you know that. It's about escaping the constant anxiety and force yourself in such way you're able to fall asleep.

Sorry for the "I's" btw. But I (lol) can relate so much with what you just posted.

I (damn it) found my reason for my constant anxiety not so long ago and it all clicked. Especially looking back at my childhood, teen years, etc, until the present.

Sought help and I'm currently in the starting phase of that process.

Although if I'm being honost I'm not sure it'll ever go away...

Thanks for sharing and know you're not alone fwiw. ♡♡♡
 
West Texas CEO

West Texas CEO

GAF's Nicest Lunch Thief and Nosiest Dildo Archeologist
giphy.gif
 
ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
Nope. Coincidently it was yesterday I was thinking about something akin to a turtle or something. Had a rat in my 20's. Very very sweet and beautiful. But they piss and poop on you which isn't that great lol.

Well, who knows. But it's most certainly something in the back of my mind.

Chinchillas are so cool.
 
ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
badblue said:
I'd love to go camping near Dildo. Looks like a wonderful place. I'd really want to go during crab season.
Click to expand...

Yeah. Dildo valley, next to the dildo cave system and those giant dildo trees!

Oh man, good call. The word on the street is that crab season is very infectious; so much fun!
 
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ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
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ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
Con-Z-epT said:
We have a banner! Don't make sedg87 sedg87 sad!
Click to expand...

I know I know. And I didn't wanted to disrespect and make sedg87 sedg87 sad at all!

You know me better than that! In no way shape or form did I ever consider removing his work. I'm very happy for his work!

That's definitely kept in for sure!

I was thinking about a post "box" wide flashy "Friday Night OT" banner.

There's room for more. Just thinking out loud. Perhaps edit the first post etc.

Should've made myself more clear in my initial post.

Now I'm sad 😪
 
ÆMNE22A!C

ÆMNE22A!C

NO PAIN TRANCE CONTINUE
Something like this:



Perhaps on some gummy's Skip?

In any case this is a 3 hour set but give it a try I'd say.

Words i associate with this kind of music are

Ambient
Soundscape
Organic
Tribal
Melodic
Spacy
Hypnotic

A more short example would be... let me look..

 
Maiden Voyage

Maiden Voyage

Gold™ Member
22•22 said:
Welcome and feel free to stay! The more the merrier ♡

West Texas CEO West Texas CEO

water gushing GIF by Make it Move


Maiden Voyage Maiden Voyage

kanjobazooie kanjobazooie

Con_Z_ǝdʇ Con_Z_ǝdʇ

@Everyone

Whomever that's good with photoshop... Maybe it's nice to have a banner for the thread? Yes/No?

Could be creative or basic, whatever. Would be sick.

Last day boys and gals

waiting gif GIF
Click to expand...
Yeah I can throw something together. No reason we can't have two or more fun images in the OP.

22•22 said:
Nitty_Grimes Nitty_Grimes

It seems you like spacy dreamscape music

(among other genre's most likely)

Did you ever get into the EDM variant of that?

Same goes for Maiden Voyage Maiden Voyage
Click to expand...
I had friends back in high school with diverse tastes so I got exposed to a ton of genres. One friend got me into EDM and hip hop. EDM is definitely not my main genre, but I enjoy certain groups or musicians enough to follow their releases. A friend I have now listens to pretty much nothing but EDM so I still get some exposure to new stuff through him. Con_Z_ǝdʇ Con_Z_ǝdʇ is another source for me right now. I wish I had more time to listen to music posted in the 'what are you listening to' thread.
 
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