Support NeoGAF

[Xun]

Good luck zatara, keep us posted!

 

[Orgen]

The fucked up thing is that before saturday things between us I thought was going great. But now that I realize that atleast during the last 3 weeks she's been texting a dude non stop, it's just something I can't, not forget. All the times she would be texting right when she woke up and all through the day started to make sense, just about all the time we were together she was texting this dude. That doesn't sit well with me.

Since I started my new shift last month we've had one day off together a week and all we did was watch tv and i sat on the couch and she'd be on the recliner. Now i know during that time, the only day we have to spend some time together, she's texting another dude.

Stop remembering all the shit she has done to you, close your laptop, grab your mp3 player, go out for a walk or running and when you finish take a good shower. This will clear your mind and make you feel better, I can assure you.

And when she gets home proceed as planned.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

Stop remembering all the shit she has done to you, close your laptop, grab your mp3 player, go out for a walk or running and when you finish take a good shower. This will clear your mind and make you feel better, I can assure you.

And when she gets home proceed as planned.

Agreed about the walk but remember each piece of disrespect. When she gets home, spit all that shit out and give her CLEAR OBVIOUS EXAMPLES about what she has been doing that caused this to happen.

If she doesn't give a shit, so be it. But lay all that shit out when she gets in so at the very least she can't act like she doesn't comprehend why you're doing what you're doing.

 

[zatara]

Stop remembering all the shit she has done to you, close your laptop, grab your mp3 player, go out for a walk or running and when you finish take a good shower. This will clear your mind and make you feel better, I can assure you.

And when she gets home proceed as planned.

Yeah I gotta do something, I went for a ride before but it didn't do much.

 

[zatara]

do you think she will get pissed if i show her a paper with all the logins for the websites i use to pay our utilities and such? i always took care of the bills.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

do you think she will get pissed if i show her a paper with all the logins for the websites i use to pay our utilities and such? i always took care of the bills.

I wouldn't worry about whether she gets pissed off or not man. She wasn't considering your feelings when she went to work without her wedding band on, or speaking to this guy every 5 minutes. This is about YOU now, and how you feel, not her. She gave up any respect you should have for her feelings when she started disrespecting your marriage.

 

[FallingEdge]

Agreed about the walk but remember each piece of disrespect. When she gets home, spit all that shit out and give her CLEAR OBVIOUS EXAMPLES about what she has been doing that caused this to happen.

If she doesn't give a shit, so be it. But lay all that shit out when she gets in so at the very least she can't act like she doesn't comprehend why you're doing what you're doing.

Agreed. As hard as it may be, I still am in the camp of being respectful and explaining your thought process as calmly as possible. Explaining why you feel this way and so on. If she disregards all of that, then the rest will be up to you but at least you know that you did the right thing and did as much as you can. I always feel like there can be a positive solution to it all. 6 years is a long time and there is no 'easy way out'. Feelings are strong on both sides.

Best of luck.

 

[~Kinggi~]

Never get fucking married. Guys like Zatara confirm it.

 

[Schlep]

Never get fucking married. Guys like Zatara confirm it.

Marriage is fine. In his case, it sounds like she made it pretty much clear from the get go that she was going to do what she wants, when she wants. That's what you have to watch out for. Anyone who can't compromise for the benefit of their SO shouldn't be in a relationship, much less married.

 

[[KoRp]Jazzman]

Never get fucking married. Guys like Zatara confirm it.

Im not sure you were ever married and you can be upset all you want about your own dating situation in here, but don't bring your ridiculously narrow minded comments into a thread meant to help people (especially trying to show support for someone who is going through something horrible).

I don't post often but I am sorry to hear about what has happened Zatara, no one should ever be treated that poorly by another, least of whom the woman you loved.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Never get fucking married. Guys like Zatara confirm it.

I'm sure it would be awesome if you could meet someone who was actually trustworthy. Not many people around like that these days though, so it seems.

 

[luckyboyceo]

Never get fucking married. Guys like Zatara confirm it.

Couldn't disagree more. I understand divorce rates are high nowadays but if you meet someone you love and can legitimately trust I see no reason not to get married.

Good luck Zatara, GAF is here for you.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

For zatara's sake, I hope he has a birthday coming up and his wife has been trying to plan something extra special for him.

 

[mj1108]

Was hoping there was some update from zatara.... Might be too early to ask though.

 

[Miguel]

Wow zatara. Just read the last 3 pages. I'm so sorry. That is an awful awful situation. Best of luck whatever you do.

 

[Shouta]

I'd probably just canceled the utilities, dropped her from the insurnace, and left without a word in zatara's case.

 

[Snakeyes]

snip

Do both at the same time.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

So, in an effort to better myself, I've decided that I'm tired of not knowing how to dance. XD

Each night, I'm gonna play Youtube videos and get a little workout in building some rhythm and coordination. Gonna stick with recent stuff--already got the Cupid Shuffle down, now the next target is the Dougie. XD

 

[soultron]

This one regular at work is kind of flirtatious. Thinking I might venture off my bachelor path and ask her out. The only thing psyching me out is that she's a few years older than I am.

So, in an effort to better myself, I've decided that I'm tired of not knowing how to dance. XD

Each night, I'm gonna play Youtube videos and get a little workout in building some rhythm and coordination. Gonna stick with recent stuff--already got the Cupid Shuffle down, now the next target is the Dougie. XD

Why not take some dance lessons? No joke. They're fun!

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

So, in an effort to better myself, I've decided that I'm tired of not knowing how to dance. XD

Each night, I'm gonna play Youtube videos and get a little workout in building some rhythm and coordination. Gonna stick with recent stuff--already got the Cupid Shuffle down, now the next target is the Dougie. XD

Trust me the Dougie is easy as fuck but really impresses the ladies. Speaking of finding new hobbies, (well this one isn't really new, just rekindling an old one) I'm going to start cooking up new recipies thanks to the Iron-GAF cookoff thread.

 

[soultron]

Trust me the Dougie is easy as fuck but really impresses the ladies. Speaking of finding new hobbies, (well this one isn't really new, just rekindling an old one) I'm going to start cooking up new recipies thanks to the Iron-GAF cookoff thread.

Cooking alone is therapeutic. Cooking with/for a lady is impressive. Use it as a second or third date to impress the pants off a lady you're courting.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Cooking alone is therapeutic. Cooking with/for a lady is impressive. Use it as a second or third date to impress the pants off a lady you're courting.

Well I'm planning on cooking for a bunch of lady friends in a week so I guess that should help with demonstrating my value....

 

[lawlohwhat]

So, in an effort to better myself, I've decided that I'm tired of not knowing how to dance. XD

Each night, I'm gonna play Youtube videos and get a little workout in building some rhythm and coordination. Gonna stick with recent stuff--already got the Cupid Shuffle down, now the next target is the Dougie. XD

Yea! Cuban dancing is the way to go. After learning salsa, cumbia, merengue, cha cha, etc, anything else will seem really easy.

Take lessons!

Well I'm planning on cooking for a bunch of lady friends in a week so I guess that should help with demonstrating my value....

Cooking is great. It will keep you healthy, impress people, and figuring out the science behind it is fun. Watch good eats episodes online. Alton brown is amazing. His recipes aren't always the best, but he explains why he's doing everything he does, which is way more important to understand than a step by step list of ingredients.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Yea! Cuban dancing is the way to go. After learning salsa, cumbia, merengue, cha cha, etc, anything else will seem really easy.

Take lessons!

.
I don't know your ethnicity but spanish chicks will be at your mercy if you learn those dances

 

[low-G]

The fucked up thing is that before saturday things between us I thought was going great. But now that I realize that atleast during the last 3 weeks she's been texting a dude non stop, it's just something I can't, not forget. All the times she would be texting right when she woke up and all through the day started to make sense, just about all the time we were together she was texting this dude. That doesn't sit well with me.

Since I started my new shift last month we've had one day off together a week and all we did was watch tv and i sat on the couch and she'd be on the recliner. Now i know during that time, the only day we have to spend some time together, she's texting another dude.

Wow, that sounds frighteningly like what's going on with one of my female friends, only I'm the guy she's texting. We're FRIENDS. I'm almost afraid to ask your name. Have you met this guy in person? If not I can say whew.

OK, you're married. Nevermind. As far as it goes in my case the numbers aren't quite as high, but I'd seriously watch the jealousy / controlling bullshit.

 

[low-G]

Why do so many women stay in abusive relationships when they know there's potential for other, stable relationships?

Usually because they don't want to be alone. They'd rather have that something than nothing at all. And like clockwork when these girls do eventually break up or get dumped they obsess over it for months, mourning their loneliness.

Why don't they transition to another guy? Usually because they're afraid of upsetting the first guy, hoping that relationship will continue rather than taking a chance on something that might not work at all.

Then after they break up they get disillusioned, they think every relationship will be like that one.

 

[Miguel]

Well I'm planning on cooking for a bunch of lady friends in a week so I guess that should help with demonstrating my value....

Usually cooking leads to engaging physically, so you're already 1/3 of the way through.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Why not take some dance lessons? No joke. They're fun!

I think I may take Beginning Modern Dance or Beginning Recreational Dance next fall (spring classes are locked), haha.

 

[TurboLibre]

So the new girl at work is definitely into me. Either that or she's trying to confuse me. I've seen this girl maybe three times before and as soon as I show up at work today she runs up and gives me a big hug. She was only around for about ten minutes before her shift was over, but even then she still made it a point to throw a number of complements my way. She's a really cool girl from what I've seen, has a lot of the same tastes and a similar personality. We work together though so I have to be careful.

Not long after that I was chatting this girl up while I was making her drink. When I finished she said "I wish I could take you home with me". I'm pretty good at coming up with clever comments but this really threw me off and I got tongue tied. I feel like I just got shy and smiled. Probably blew it unless she comes back, but I still had a good laugh throughout the day.

My friends keep telling me I could have any girl I wanted. While I wouldn't take it that far, I am starting to see a little bit of hope here. I'm think I just haven't noticed any flirting coming my way so I always responded like I wasn't interested. I'm slowly getting away from that though, so that could explain some of the changes.

 

[faceless007]

Why not take some dance lessons? No joke. They're fun!

Not that that's a bad idea, but is there any danger that would seem transparent to some girls? Like it's obvious what your main reason for being there is? /cynic

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

Not that that's a bad idea, but is there any danger that would seem transparent to some girls? Like it's obvious what your main reason for being there is? /cynic

whogivesashit.gif
As long as you don't act like a creeper women won't care why you're there...

 

[TheVampire]

So Im on this dating site right.

Today I load up my facebook and I have a new email message thing.

Its from a girl who saw my profile on this dating site and tracked me down on facebook so she could add me and talk to me on there since she isnt a fan of dating sites (I didn't put my surname on my profile)

(she mentioned how she got a little creative and shes defently not crazy or a stalker)

She also was born on the 10th of November when I was born on the 11th of November and is now 26 like me.

Crazy weird huh?
She also lives close to me so thats another plus and is attractive.

Just wondering if this is fate or something just bizzare.

 

[lawlohwhat]

.
I don't know your ethnicity but spanish chicks will be at your mercy if you learn those dances

I'm honky. Met my current girlfriend doing salsa though.

Not that that's a bad idea, but is there any danger that would seem transparent to some girls? Like it's obvious what your main reason for being there is? /cynic

A lot of girls are doing it to meet other people ;D

Just think of it as a chance to learn something new, have fun, and meet new people.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

So Im on this dating site right.

Today I load up my facebook and I have a new email message thing.

Its from a girl who saw my profile on this dating site and tracked me down on facebook so she could add me and talk to me on there since she isnt a fan of dating sites (I didn't put my surname on my profile)

(she mentioned how she got a little creative and shes defently not crazy or a stalker)

She also was born on the 10th of November when I was born on the 11th of November and is now 26 like me.

Crazy weird huh?
She also lives close to me so thats another plus and is attractive.

Just wondering if this is fate or something just bizzare.

She wants your kidneys.

 

[Dabookerman]

So Im on this dating site right.

Today I load up my facebook and I have a new email message thing.

Its from a girl who saw my profile on this dating site and tracked me down on facebook so she could add me and talk to me on there since she isnt a fan of dating sites (I didn't put my surname on my profile)

(she mentioned how she got a little creative and shes defently not crazy or a stalker)

She also was born on the 10th of November when I was born on the 11th of November and is now 26 like me.

Crazy weird huh?
She also lives close to me so thats another plus and is attractive.

Just wondering if this is fate or something just bizzare.

If it was the other way round...

 

[Miguel]

Haha, in regards to that, since apparently everyone ever has linked their FB account with their phone number... if you ever get a girls number you can pull up her name (assuming her FB account has her full name) through the "Find Friends" option on iPhone/Android.

I've used it mostly to check for alternate photos than the 1-2 someone posts on there.

Chat up on site, get number, find name, search for it on my desktop facebook, check pics... then continue messaging and decide on whether to ask for a date or not.

 

[Miguel]

I typed this in my blog, but I'll copy/paste here, cause this woman basically flipped the fuck out because I wouldn't call her (I was busy in a conversation with my cousin and it was like midnight/12:30, and was going to be getting ready for bed soon...plus she wasn't really that interesting and if I even did go with her, I'd probably only be looking to hook up and be done with her, (as you can see by her txtspeak in the middle of the post), she was just all sorts of crazy... lol

So, funny story.

Kind of anyway. Maybe a little sad, but mostly really funny if you know me.

So after a fairly rough stretch of life the past few months... I've decided to try to put a ton of of stuff behind me. A lot of things that have been dwelling on me, things that honestly don't matter in the grand scheme of things, and decided I need to wipe my hands clean of all of it. So, after coming to this realization on my birthday, I've taken a somewhat new attitude towards how I handle trouble/adversity in my day to day life.

I'll skip over this for the most part except for the mention, but I had an awesome date on Saturday night, and hope it'll lead to another. I'll leave it at that, because I'm superstitious. Ok, maybe just a little stitious. Yes, I recycled that from Michael Scott... hey kettle, I hear you saying "That's what she said" every 5 minutes... don't judge.

In any case, this blog post isn't about that. When the time comes to write about that, I will. I'll probably write about it anyway, and just not post it until much further down the line.

No, this blog post has to do with another woman who I'd been messaging with back and forth lately. Slowly breaking down all the walls to all my friends that I usually put up because I don't want them to know every single detail of my life, since I'm usually very open about everything I do talk about, I just like to keep some things to myself. This was one of them, but now the cat's out of the bag. I'm on a dating site. *GASP* I know, how awful.

What's the standard lie for saying you met someone on a dating site anyway? I've heard cooking class. Is there still a stigma about using a dating site? I'm getting sidetracked again.

So, this woman messages me not too long ago, we chat through the site for a bit, exchange numbers, and text back and forth for a while. I'm mostly non-chalant about it, as I don't have much interest in the woman, but she took the time to write me a message (ok all of 4 words), I figured the least i could do is reply, and have a quick chat. We had a nice conversation, a lot longer than I expected to, but it was enjoyable. I left it open, and went about my day. Got another message later in the day, so we started talking a bit more, asked for her number cause at a certain point it gets boring having to check the message through the site. We texted back and forth some more, and never really much more than that, asking when she was free, typical getting to know someone/trying to set up a possible date at some point conversation. Yeah, that's what happens on these things. Scary isn't it?

So, after a few days, more conversation, I get the following question last night...

"Would it be weird if I asked you to call me?"
​

reply:

"No, not weird, but I can't right now, talking with my cousin about his birthday. Maybe we can talk tomorrow"
​

My response apparently sent her brain flying in a million different directions, here are some awesome excerpts... (reading through them, it's amazing how much the ability to text like a normal coherent person seems to line up with someone being emotionally stable)

Ok...so... not really sure what to say... AKWARD

What is awkward is that im laying in bed texting u... and u r having a conversation with someone else at the same time is he seeing the text

Nice texting with you.... to many red flags sorry...done that been there...seems like u have ur phone on silence as to not awake a insignificant other..so u couldnt call because...that is the lamest excuse ever...oh well same shit another bullshiter...lol good luck in ur search for a lover...not trying to be dramatic its just so obviouse...im a little smarter than that...night night

Well if even after that ur cousins conversation at 1 am about a bday party that is tomorow and aperently nobody remembered until now...u still cant call then im right anyways really nice convrdsations the only thing i regret is that i was really beeing sincere about it all...now i feel like an idiot...guess thats part of on line dating....never nowing whos lieing intil u put 2 and 2 together

Maybe it is my inability to trust...but too late now...sorry hope you have better luck on ur account i just went and canceled mine...who am i kidding im nrver going to trust anyone​

Yikes... heh. My cousin's birthday was yesterday (11/13) and he was in San Antonio and Austin with his brother and mom (my cousin and aunt), to go visit with their sister (my OTHER cousin) who's in SA for school, and then go to Austin for the birthday boy's dance show. None of this is really in any way relevant, but that's why we were discussing that overnight, because that's the only chance we got to really talk all weekend.

Even if that wasn't the case, I'm not entirely sure I would have called the woman anyway, but mostly because it was midnight and I had at least intended to go to sleep by then, and didn't want to engage in a conversation with anyone, and have to hang up 2-3 minutes later cause I'm falling asleep. Apparently it was a test to make sure I wasn't married... heh. So guys, I guess I have a wife I don't know about. Heh heh. It totally shocked me. I mean, come on, me? Someone's gonna marry me? Put up with me each and every day until the end of time?**

**Your mileage my vary

So she flipped out over me not making a phone call cause I was busy/tired. People are goddamn paranoid. Maybe I've just managed to become less cynical and don't feel the need to distrust everyone until proven trustworthy.

 

[Idde]

Not that that's a bad idea, but is there any danger that would seem transparent to some girls? Like it's obvious what your main reason for being there is? /cynic

Nobody at my salsa class thinks like that. Perhaps if you went around acting like a creep staring at everyones ass (which is quite tempting...and women do it as well anyway) they'd be weirded out. Taking a dance class is actually a pretty great way to get to know people, get comfortable with making physical contact and well...learning to dance. And having fun as well.

Slightly rantish: I am once again slightly vexed by the fact that most women don't initiate any contact. Yesterday I was on the train reading a book for my psychology class. There was a girl sitting opposite of me who saw what I was reading, and looked at the book several times. At first I didn't notice since I was studying, but as I looked up at a distraction I saw her watching and she smiled at me. This happened a couple of times.

After fifteen minutes of having lots of eyecontact (and waiting if she was gonna say anything) I asked her if she was interested in psychology. She immediately jumped into the conversation and didn't appear shy at all, so that wasn't the reason she didn'tsay anything. I don't want to sound bitter, because I'm not anymore but why is this?

I can think of only one girl who came up to me to start a conversation. Is it because it's a sign of confidence of a guy has the balls to walk up to you? Is it because it's just 'the way it is'? Even female friends of mine say it's unfair,and most of her friends wouldn't feel comfortable starting a conversation.

Do advice givers in Girl-Age have women come up to them?

 

[Minamu]

So, in an effort to better myself, I've decided that I'm tired of not knowing how to dance. XD

Each night, I'm gonna play Youtube videos and get a little workout in building some rhythm and coordination. Gonna stick with recent stuff--already got the Cupid Shuffle down, now the next target is the Dougie. XD

Hey, send some videos our/my way

Skrillex and LMFAO are the most common stuff being played around here, so regular dancing isn't really that common while clubbing here :S

 

[Rei_Toei]

Meh, I've been doing some dating after breaking up with my GF. One date was nice but immediately friendzoned the girl - just not my type. Then hooked up with two other girls, only to conclude that I'm really not over my ex yet. I don't know, guess I have to get her out of my system first before I can really move on. Sucks :/

 

[zatara]

staying at my brothers will update when I get to a laptop.

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Meh, I've been doing some dating after breaking up with my GF. One date was nice but immediately friendzoned the girl - just not my type. Then hooked up with two other girls, only to conclude that I'm really not over my ex yet. I don't know, guess I have to get her out of my system first before I can really move on. Sucks :/

I've been at this stage all year lol yes it truely sucks. I know deep down there's no going back but its like my soul still won't let it go. Its a bummer. Wish I had some advice to help but I'm definitely in the same boat, even after all this time.

 

[PhoenixSFT]

I typed this in my blog, but I'll copy/paste here, cause this woman basically flipped the fuck out because I wouldn't call her (I was busy in a conversation with my cousin and it was like midnight/12:30, and was going to be getting ready for bed soon...plus she wasn't really that interesting and if I even did go with her, I'd probably only be looking to hook up and be done with her, (as you can see by her txtspeak in the middle of the post), she was just all sorts of crazy... lol

Wow she seems nuts. I met a girl just like that on OKC, she acted like she was entitled to me and was pissed when I turned her down because I just wasn't into her. Probably was "rich girl syndrome".

 

[Bucket-o-roadkill]

Wow she seems nuts. I met a girl just like that on OKC, she acted like she was entitled to me and was pissed when I turned her down because I just wasn't into her. Probably was "rich girl syndrome".

Haha sounds like a girl I was talking to on there. I added her on skype and we spoke a bit on there a few nights. The following week I logged in a couple of times automatically with due to skype starting on boot, she was online but I didnt start a convo with her (I was doing other things), she ended up removing me blaming the fact I didn't talk to her when I came online every time. I explained I was going through a busy period and wasn't checking my skype every time I came online.. She said some comment about it being 'too late now' or something. Haha, I had to laugh. What a lucky escape, feel sorry for the lapdog she ends up with!

 

[Oozinator]

Haha, in regards to that, since apparently everyone ever has linked their FB account with their phone number... if you ever get a girls number you can pull up her name (assuming her FB account has her full name) through the "Find Friends" option on iPhone/Android.

I've used it mostly to check for alternate photos than the 1-2 someone posts on there.

Chat up on site, get number, find name, search for it on my desktop facebook, check pics... then continue messaging and decide on whether to ask for a date or not.

or get her msn address, which can very often be used to find her on facebook to check how good she's looking if she uses the "Fat Girl Angle Shot" on the dating site.

 

[Oozinator]

Not that that's a bad idea, but is there any danger that would seem transparent to some girls? Like it's obvious what your main reason for being there is? /cynic

Salsa dance is a COUPLE's dance so we guys are needed and have a valid motive for being there.

 

[Mammoth Jones]

staying at my brothers will update when I get to a laptop.

Be strong man!

<brofist>

 

[hipgnosis]

Having a first date with a new girl tomorrow. The girl seems awesome, very attractive, studys law and has the same taste in music.

Feeling the daterush coming again!

 

[Idde]

staying at my brothers will update when I get to a laptop.

Just read the last couple of pages. Damn. Good luck dude, in everything to come.

 

[Spacebar]

Having a first date with a new girl tomorrow. The girl seems awesome, very attractive, studys law and has the same taste in music.

Feeling the daterush coming again!

Don't set high expectations. Go out and just have fun.