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[SRG01]

Hate to shatter the confidence, but things only get worse post-college. Opportunities to meet women go down significantly. Whereas college is a target rich environment where you don't have to work at it, you have to seek out new places and events to meet people afterwards.

I suggest getting out of your comfort zone and trying to find success while you're still in college. Do you have any male friends who can help you with what to do/what you're doing wrong?

No, absolutely false. Like I mentioned several times in the past, a person's chances to meet women in university in forced social situations is greater. However, their opportunity to meet women after college/university graduation is larger because they have more time to date.

The trap that many people fall into post-graduation that they become complacent in getting out to do stuff -- whether it be dating or socializing.

Please

Only place I know is bars/clubs and i suck at those places as I never have a willable wingman with me. Classes are terrible because all I can talk about is shit related to school, so it never goes anywhere beyond classroom friends.

I've mentioned this earlier in the thread too: Anywhere that's acceptable to talk to a woman is a good place to meet women... which basically means everywhere. Don't start by hitting on them, though. Start instead by chatting and talking normally. If you're at a coffee shop, you'd be surprised at how much eye contact and a smile can go. Gauge their body language and go from there.

By the way, onemic, as one guy to another: you're fairly good looking so you'll do fine out there!




edit2: Actually, to the people of Dating-GAF that are also part of Real-GAF this month, many of you are good looking, so keep up the good work!

 

[jdogmoney]

I don't know if this deserves its own thread, but I need perspective on this, and it's not an issue I feel particularly comfortable talking about.

So, I'm seeing this girl. We're both 20. Exceptionally sweet girl. I care about her a whole lot, and she cares about me just as much. Everything is going well. We are approaching the stage in the relationship where sex is a very real possibility. I have been physical with a girl in the past, so I'm not particularly nervous or anything along those lines.

The problem is that she's never been physically intimate with anyone, due to a strict Christian upbringing. Private Christian school level of strict. The sort of Christian school where she had to debate evolution, and got marked down for winning the debate when she was arguing pro-evolution.

But I digress.

Her belief system is...in flux. She's not really sure what she believes, she tells me, which is totally fine. I'm an atheist, and I'm probably a little "obnoxious" about it, but she doesn't care about that and I only want her to be happy with her metaphysical views. If she straight up said she didn't want to have sex until she was married, I'd be cool with that. The problem, (at long last), is this: I feel weird being the influence that leads her to change a long-held belief. She'd hardly held hands before we started going out, and since then I've spent nights over at her apartment. She was confused about her beliefs before we started going out, but I'm trying very hard not to influence her to forgo religion entirely. As much as I may think religion is harmful, it's not my business what she believes.

This is long, and winding. I apologize. It's difficult to describe the problem.

I guess I'm asking if I should just...let things develop naturally? Prepare for certain eventualities? Should I bring it up with her?

I don't know what to do, if anything.

 

[Count Dookkake]

I don't know if this deserves its own thread, but I need perspective on this, and it's not an issue I feel particularly comfortable talking about.

So, I'm seeing this girl. We're both 20. Exceptionally sweet girl. I care about her a whole lot, and she cares about me just as much. Everything is going well. We are approaching the stage in the relationship where sex is a very real possibility. I have been physical with a girl in the past, so I'm not particularly nervous or anything along those lines.

The problem is that she's never been physically intimate with anyone, due to a strict Christian upbringing. Private Christian school level of strict. The sort of Christian school where she had to debate evolution, and got marked down for winning the debate when she was arguing pro-evolution.

But I digress.

Her belief system is...in flux. She's not really sure what she believes, she tells me, which is totally fine. I'm an atheist, and I'm probably a little "obnoxious" about it, but she doesn't care about that and I only want her to be happy with her metaphysical views. If she straight up said she didn't want to have sex until she was married, I'd be cool with that. The problem, (at long last), is this: I feel weird being the influence that leads her to change a long-held belief. She'd hardly held hands before we started going out, and since then I've spent nights over at her apartment. She was confused about her beliefs before we started going out, but I'm trying very hard not to influence her to forgo religion entirely. As much as I may think religion is harmful, it's not my business what she believes.

This is long, and winding. I apologize. It's difficult to describe the problem.

I guess I'm asking if I should just...let things develop naturally? Prepare for certain eventualities? Should I bring it up with her?

I don't know what to do, if anything.

I've been there before, except my girl had even been on mission trips to the third world.

Don't worry about it at all. Part of what turns her on about you is that you stand in opposition to her community, specifically her father. Be yourself and speak freely, but not cruelly. Challenge her playfully and don't be condescending.

My recovering Christian and I have long since split up, but to this day she still thanks me for opening her eyes.

 

[Eggo]

No, absolutely false. Like I mentioned several times in the past, a person's chances to meet women in university in forced social situations is greater. However, their opportunity to meet women after college/university graduation is larger because they have more time to date.

The trap that many people fall into post-graduation that they become complacent in getting out to do stuff -- whether it be dating or socializing.



I've mentioned this earlier in the thread too: Anywhere that's acceptable to talk to a woman is a good place to meet women... which basically means everywhere. Don't start by hitting on them, though. Start instead by chatting and talking normally. If you're at a coffee shop, you'd be surprised at how much eye contact and a smile can go. Gauge their body language and go from there.

By the way, onemic, as one guy to another: you're fairly good looking so you'll do fine out there!




edit2: Actually, to the people of Dating-GAF that are also part of Real-GAF this month, many of you are good looking, so keep up the good work!

It's not forced social situations. College is a target rich environment. You can meet girls in class, in your dorm, walking to class, in the cafeteria, at a party, as part of an organization, at a sporting event, etc. Your odds of coming across a dateable woman in day-to-day life are much higher than after you graduate.

After you graduate and get a full-time job, you have less free time than you did in college. I don't know about you, but I certainly didnt have 40 hours of class every week as an undergrad. It's very easy to get stuck in a routine of work -> home -> sleep where your chances of coming across a dateable woman are very slim if you choose not to date coworkers. It gets even worse if you have a long commute or your job requires 50-60 hours a week.

Absolutely it's still possible to meet a girl post-college and have a healthy relationship, but you have to make a far greater effort on your part to seek out opportunities that previously were in your face without you having to work for it. You also have to sharpen up your game and social skills to talk to a stranger at a bar, library, or grocery store because you don't have the crutch of shared classes/pre-existing commonality built in for you to talk about.

 

[Kalnos]

@jdog

I'm atheist and I date a Catholic who's at least moderately passionate about her views. My advice: determine if there's anything major that your beliefs will cause disagreements and decide if you want to make a sacrifice or break it off. Having kids, what to raise them, that sort of thing.

If neither of you cares what the other believes and it won't affect your lives in any way, then I'd advise never to bring up religion/politics. Nothing good ever comes from those two subjects, just let them be personal. If she wants to change then she will change, don't force the issue.

 

[MrGame&Watch]

I don't know if this makes sense in this thread but I was making out with a girl on the dance floor for 20ish minutes. She made me buy her a drink and I completely lost all sexual motivation after we got back on the floor. The worst was she could tell too so after 5 minutes she was done with me. I shoul be happy I made out with a hot chick but now I feel lackluster in the penis department.

 

[Eggo]

I don't know if this deserves its own thread, but I need perspective on this, and it's not an issue I feel particularly comfortable talking about.

So, I'm seeing this girl. We're both 20. Exceptionally sweet girl. I care about her a whole lot, and she cares about me just as much. Everything is going well. We are approaching the stage in the relationship where sex is a very real possibility. I have been physical with a girl in the past, so I'm not particularly nervous or anything along those lines.

The problem is that she's never been physically intimate with anyone, due to a strict Christian upbringing. Private Christian school level of strict. The sort of Christian school where she had to debate evolution, and got marked down for winning the debate when she was arguing pro-evolution.

But I digress.

Her belief system is...in flux. She's not really sure what she believes, she tells me, which is totally fine. I'm an atheist, and I'm probably a little "obnoxious" about it, but she doesn't care about that and I only want her to be happy with her metaphysical views. If she straight up said she didn't want to have sex until she was married, I'd be cool with that. The problem, (at long last), is this: I feel weird being the influence that leads her to change a long-held belief. She'd hardly held hands before we started going out, and since then I've spent nights over at her apartment. She was confused about her beliefs before we started going out, but I'm trying very hard not to influence her to forgo religion entirely. As much as I may think religion is harmful, it's not my business what she believes.

This is long, and winding. I apologize. It's difficult to describe the problem.

I guess I'm asking if I should just...let things develop naturally? Prepare for certain eventualities? Should I bring it up with her?

I don't know what to do, if anything.

Enjoy the sweet nectar of forbidden fruit, crazy, religious girl sex. Just be prepared for her to end it because 1) she doesn't want to think of you burning in hell for eternity or 2) you begin to erode her beliefs. While it lasts, it's a memorable adventure, but it will not end well.

 

[Onemic]

No, absolutely false. Like I mentioned several times in the past, a person's chances to meet women in university in forced social situations is greater. However, their opportunity to meet women after college/university graduation is larger because they have more time to date.

The trap that many people fall into post-graduation that they become complacent in getting out to do stuff -- whether it be dating or socializing.



I've mentioned this earlier in the thread too: Anywhere that's acceptable to talk to a woman is a good place to meet women... which basically means everywhere. Don't start by hitting on them, though. Start instead by chatting and talking normally. If you're at a coffee shop, you'd be surprised at how much eye contact and a smile can go. Gauge their body language and go from there.

By the way, onemic, as one guy to another: you're fairly good looking so you'll do fine out there!




edit2: Actually, to the people of Dating-GAF that are also part of Real-GAF this month, many of you are good looking, so keep up the good work!

I'm guessing doing some online stuff like OK Cupid is good too, just to keep my social activity up?

 

[lazybones18]

Deleted my POF account and basically done with trying to get a date for a while. Online dating is such a waste of time

 

[Idde]

I don't know if this deserves its own thread, but I need perspective on this, and it's not an issue I feel particularly comfortable talking about.

So, I'm seeing this girl. We're both 20. Exceptionally sweet girl. I care about her a whole lot, and she cares about me just as much. Everything is going well. We are approaching the stage in the relationship where sex is a very real possibility. I have been physical with a girl in the past, so I'm not particularly nervous or anything along those lines.

The problem is that she's never been physically intimate with anyone, due to a strict Christian upbringing. Private Christian school level of strict. The sort of Christian school where she had to debate evolution, and got marked down for winning the debate when she was arguing pro-evolution.

But I digress.

Her belief system is...in flux. She's not really sure what she believes, she tells me, which is totally fine. I'm an atheist, and I'm probably a little "obnoxious" about it, but she doesn't care about that and I only want her to be happy with her metaphysical views. If she straight up said she didn't want to have sex until she was married, I'd be cool with that. The problem, (at long last), is this: I feel weird being the influence that leads her to change a long-held belief. She'd hardly held hands before we started going out, and since then I've spent nights over at her apartment. She was confused about her beliefs before we started going out, but I'm trying very hard not to influence her to forgo religion entirely. As much as I may think religion is harmful, it's not my business what she believes.

This is long, and winding. I apologize. It's difficult to describe the problem.

I guess I'm asking if I should just...let things develop naturally? Prepare for certain eventualities? Should I bring it up with her?

I don't know what to do, if anything.

I think you should just let things develop naturally. If she comes into close proximity with someone who has different views she's bound to be influenced be that. That goes doubly if it's her boyfriend. You shouldn't persuade her to become an atheist, but you probably shouldn't hide your own views. It's up to her to decide if she wants to remain a Christian, or if she's challenging her views.

Personally I believe there's nothing wrong with holding hands. But those are just my atheist beliefs I think it's a big sign of respect you're not trying to convert her. Props for that!

edit) this might seem a little currazy, but since it's about her, ask her about it?

 

[jadedm17]

stuff.

Sounds like you're already pretty understanding about it, so I wouldn't worry. You obviously don't want to push her - you're aware of that - so just enjoy the benefit of sharing new views and perspectives on things. Be respectful and should be fine either way.

Anyways, I seek advice as well.

About me : I'm mostly reclusive but highly personable and outgoing in social situations, dating and talking to woman included. My cousin taught me at a young age that its 90% confidence 10% looks. I'm also a bit sarcastic and honest to start with, which leads to most woman hating me at first then wanting to be best friends when they realize im geniune and just not usually serious.

So I met a girl on OkCupid. I can understand girls most of the time, but this one I can't read.
She's 22, lives at home, I'm 24 and don't. Both of us work at a restaurant. Also a sidenote I HATE text, but she apparently hates talking on the phone so yes, most of this is begrudgingly text.

We had dinner at a local restaurant, great conversation and become really honest quickly - started off when she made some joking comments about situations around us. Honestly enjoyed how geniune she seemed to be, I had a lot of fun. I invited her over to my house after to play Kinect, she said no, we part ways. Couple of days later I text suggest we go ice skating, and that I had fun. She says she didn't really feel it, I move on with my life like a boss.

Here's where I get confused.

Next week she texts me something obscure about a movie. I text back, we text for a bit. Curious - and as I said honest - I text :
"Here's another thought to ponder - and apologies if it sounds rude, text doesn't convey tone well. Why are you still texting me?"
Her : Bc i think ur a nice guy and although we didn't completely hit it off when we met I don't think ur repulsive enough to completely stop talking to lol
Me : "What were your expecations then after one dinner date? Or hopes?"
Her : Oh I dunno what I was expecting

Did I mention the date was 3 weeks ago and we talk through text - 90% intiated by her, and ended by her texting last - almost daily? It got strange after that : I suggest that was silly of her and we wouldn't work, she wants friends, i say i have plenty, she apologizes and begs we go on another date. Now she wants to go to some beer tasting on Jan 28th.

Thoughts : Will this just be weird? Did I make it weird too quickly? Am I a back-up because she's lonely? Am I her only option and she's talking to me out of loneliness even though she felt nothing? She seems mature but has admitted to not having any serious dating in the past, and I sure as hell have disillusioned myself with plenty of girls who seemed mature but were batshit crazy. I guess the confusion here is mostly what went wrong, especially since I've had bad dates or boring dates and this seemed like neither.

Other story : I was serving tables today and a girl at another table left another server their phone number to give me. Now I've never acted on the numbers left me - "Hey I'm that dude that works at the place you ate, wanna hang out?" - its been pointed out by that server how much courage that takes to do something like that. How do I approach a situation like this?

 

[Count Dookkake]

1) Too much texting will never work out in your favor. You should have followed your instincts on that one.

2) If she's attractive to you, then call her. If not, don't. You have all the power right now.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

Didn't notice this last text until now.

Her: You out tonight?
Me: Yes. Out with friends
Her: Ok...was just thinking of you and got horny =)

 

[Schlep]

1) Too much texting will never work out in your favor.

The girl I'm with now I probably average 7500 texts a month for the past three months. If you're good at texting, and she likes it, then it can be very effective.

 

[Miguel]

edit2: Actually, to the people of Dating-GAF that are also part of Real-GAF this month, many of you are good looking, so keep up the good work!

Is that why everyone has their own pics as their avatars? People thought I was weird when I did this back in like 04-05, lol.

Trendsetter!

Update, while I'm here.

Things still going well with the girl and I. Ex still being an annoying douche on fb, but it's harmless liking, although he's taken to liking my comments/posts on her wall now, good shit, whatever, not an issue now, I'll deal with him later once things are official.

Speaking of official...

We've been pretty open in conversation and not really any topic has been off limits, so we've kind of jokingly discussed attaching a label to our relationship. (stemming from a conversation on fb). She stole my phone and posted this as my status as a joke (we were having a nice dinner/going to the movies after)

Status:
Food... dolllar menu. Movies...redbox. I'm spoiling her. We've been dating for about a month now...

friend: "Dollar menu. *girl*, if he let's you order cheese on it, it's srs"

girl: "Haha i guess we are getting serious. Lmao."


In any case, we'd discussed it, and I could sense she kind of wanted it, and to be honest I did too. Some more half joking half serious discussion earlier this week, I decided I was ready, and determined I didn't think she would freak out if I sprung it on her.

So, today was our 10th date, and so we had plans to go to a pretty nice place for dinner, being our 10th date, and I figured I'd ask her to be my gf at some point in the night, whenever seemed like the best time to do it.

Sidenote: I'm fairly big on astrology, not so much daily horoscopes, but traits/characteristics that each sign has. Through conversation/observation, we've determined we're very alike in a lot of the characteristics/traits that relate to scorpio (which we both are). Very intuitive, "detectivelike" etc... this comes into play in a second.

She messages me today, since I had told her the place/location we were going today, and tells me...

--her: so ive made a decision.
--me: let's hear it
--her: i wanna wait.
*longer pause than I would have liked at this point in the conversation*
--her: lol as in dont ask me tonight if thats what u were planning
--her: i can be pushy and i know that i do want that with you but not this second.
--her: so my answer would be yes but i know in my heart id be reluctant.
--me: Oh ok. That was a little scary for a second...
--her: lmao
--her: i want to be yours miguel, but my heart is telling me to give it a lil more time.
--her: so im gunna do something i never do.
--her: im gunna be patient.

She totally sniffed me out, and while she didn't specifically tell me the reason she wants to wait, we've discussed something that's coming up in the next 2-3 weeks that's very personal/tragic which I don't want to get into further. So she wants to wait to make things official, and I'm perfectly fine with it. This sets up a cheesy valentine's day thing, which from what I've learned about her up until this point, she will totally eat it up.

Lost in all of this, is that we're barely hitting week 5 today, so in a sense, we've jumped pretty far in that time period, to the point where we both were ready to get serious, even a week ago on NYE...

I think in the mix of her issue I mentioned... and the fast pace we've moved at, it's for the best to wait a bit for this... and with how open we've been with things, and the fact that we're seeing each other at least twice a week, plus what she said in this conversation and others... I've got a really good feeling about how all this is going to turn out.

Been a fun month, and from the looks of things, more fun months to come.

 

[Xun]

It's not forced social situations. College is a target rich environment. You can meet girls in class, in your dorm, walking to class, in the cafeteria, at a party, as part of an organization, at a sporting event, etc. Your odds of coming across a dateable woman in day-to-day life are much higher than after you graduate.

After you graduate and get a full-time job, you have less free time than you did in college. I don't know about you, but I certainly didnt have 40 hours of class every week as an undergrad. It's very easy to get stuck in a routine of work -> home -> sleep where your chances of coming across a dateable woman are very slim if you choose not to date coworkers. It gets even worse if you have a long commute or your job requires 50-60 hours a week.

Absolutely it's still possible to meet a girl post-college and have a healthy relationship, but you have to make a far greater effort on your part to seek out opportunities that previously were in your face without you having to work for it. You also have to sharpen up your game and social skills to talk to a stranger at a bar, library, or grocery store because you don't have the crutch of shared classes/pre-existing commonality built in for you to talk about.

I mentioned it on the previous page but it wasn't like this for me at all.

There were no dorms at my college, nor were there many events, and sporting events? Hell no.

I spent the 3 years of college with the same group of people for every class, it's just the way it works over here.

 

[Minamu]

Uh oh, I'm in a shit test I think. I jokingly accused a girl of being shy and she responded with she's not shy at all. My response was basically "prove it to me" and she countered with "nah I'm fairly confident I'm not shy so there's probably nothing for me to prove ". Now what?

 

[Subtervotion]

I don't know if this deserves its own thread, but I need perspective on this, and it's not an issue I feel particularly comfortable talking about......

I've been there before, except my girl had even been on mission trips to the third world.

Don't worry about it at all. Part of what turns her on about you is that you stand in opposition to her community, specifically her father. Be yourself and speak freely, but not cruelly. Challenge her playfully and don't be condescending.

My recovering Christian and I have long since split up, but to this day she still thanks me for opening her eyes.

I dated a girl that had been on mission trips too. She also told me she was waiting to have sex until he was married. Two weeks later we consummated the relationship. Every time we got physical before that, she told me she was 'freezing up'. Your girl is probably doing mental gymnastics in her head. Shes been taught her whole life to be a certain way, but now her body is taking over and compelling her to do the opposite. She may try to lay all the responsibility on you. I wish you the best....

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

Please

Only place I know is bars/clubs and i suck at those places as I never have a willable wingman with me. Classes are terrible because all I can talk about is shit related to school, so it never goes anywhere beyond classroom friends.

Anywhere you feel like you can be comfortable and social. These can be places where everyone there has a particular interest in common, so that would be based on things you like to do. But you should be able to be social anywhere and I feel like the key to that, is just using your surroundings to your advantage, as you will meet cute girls, everywhere, all the time, whether you expect it or not. One of the greatest skills you can have is to be able to go out and talk about anything lol, whether you know alot about it and your trying to inform, or you know nothing about it and you ask a bunch of questions, regardless of where you're coming from, this is key to conversing about whatever. At the end of the day, if all else fails, when you see someone you find attractive, just walk up and say hi, you couldn't help but notice her and you needed to know her name and find out all about her. It may work, it may not, there are tons of variables in play that could work for you or against you, but thats it. It is as easy as you allow it to be.

Also, I think you're underestimating how great of an opportunity sharing classes with girls offers. Just because that's what you have in common doesn't mean its all there is to talk about. I've met girls in classes before, asking maybe one thing about the course perhaps, or just pointing out something, and quickly following up questions about that persons weekend, blah, blah, blah, now I have her number lol. Hell, come to think of it, talking about class isn't interesting in the first place so there wouldn't be much to talk about from my perspective.

But its about opening up, there are a wealth of different things you can talk about, sometimes you just have to take a chance and see what sticks. But I could easily go from asking about a homework assignment, to telling about how much hw I have, or how much I hate hw, to asking the girl about how much she gets, to how many, or what classes shes taking, to asking about how much time she usually has to go out, to what she does when she goes out, to telling her what I do when go out, to inviting her out sometime. Its just the rhythm of conversation.

 

[Count Dookkake]

The girl I'm with now I probably average 7500 texts a month for the past three months. If you're good at texting, and she likes it, then it can be very effective.

Yeah, and you might win the lottery, too...

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

Honestly...I hate it. But everyone else does it, so i'm forced into doing it...meh...

 

[Subtervotion]

I don't understand the text hate.

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

I don't understand the text hate.

My problem is that most times girls (and people in general) try to have entire conversations with me via text, and it drives me up a friggin' wall to type a bunch of stuff I could just say.

 

[Subtervotion]

My problem is that most times girls (and people in general) try to have entire conversations with me via text, and it drives me up a friggin' wall to type a bunch of stuff I could just say.

I enjoy texting because I can multi-task while doing it. You don't have to drop everything you're doing to have a phone convo. Sure you could say more in a 30 minute phone convo than in a two hour text convo, but thats a good thing. Don't over communicate, right?

 

[Count Dookkake]

Phone calls are lame, too. Unless you are in prison or basic.

To keep the balance of power in your favor, go with face to face.

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

I enjoy texting because I can multi-task while doing it. You don't have to drop everything you're doing to have a phone convo. Sure you could say more in a 30 minute phone convo than in a two hour text convo, but thats a good thing. Don't over communicate, right?

That is a rule I like to apply initially, but for relationships that develop into something more, or just a really chatty person, i'll entertain them with something more drawn out from time to time. It's just those moments, I feel more annoyed than anything, so I usually respond with one word answers or just try to type as least as I can. Sometimes I ignore them, which usually gets the "why are you ignoring my texts" response, which I do find amusing.

 

[Subtervotion]

That is a rule I like to apply initially, but for relationships that develop into something more, or just a really chatty person, i'll entertain them with something more drawn out from time to time. It's just those moments, I feel more annoyed than anything, so I usually respond with one word answers or just try to type as least as I can. Sometimes I ignore them, which usually gets the "why are you ignoring my texts" response, which I do find amusing.

At that point, I'm going to see that person often enough that I can wait a day to have a drawn out convo.

Phone calls would be necessary in long distance relationships or if you can't see your SO for a week or more.

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

At that point, I'm going to see that person often enough that I can wait a day to have a drawn out convo.

Phone calls would be necessary in long distance relationships or if you can't see your SO for a week or more.

Yeah its just my preference...but it doesn't matter...nobody does it anymore anyways

 

[Raynes]

Ugh this close friend who I like just told me there's someone she likes. In all honesty I don't want to be friends with her after this, it'll just keep reminding me of what I can't have. It won't be the same anymore, because I only spoke to her the way I did (pet names etc) because I liked her, but now I know I won't feel like speaking to her in the same way.

 

[hipgnosis]

Holy fuck I love the bar scene in my town. So much game whenever we visit bars with my friends, lots of friendly and open women. At my current state I don't even try to hook up or anything, but so much fun can be had just socializing. Last night played truth or dare whole night with some random girls and the night was really awesome. For me bars and clubs are definitely the place to meet new people.

 

[PhoenixSFT]

Ugh this close friend who I like just told me there's someone she likes. In all honesty I don't want to be friends with her after this, it'll just keep reminding me of what I can't have. It won't be the same anymore, because I only spoke to her the way I did (pet names etc) because I liked her, but now I know I won't feel like speaking to her in the same way.

Then...you lost? Sorry that someone else made a move on her?

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

So last night the girl I've been dating for 3 weeks drunk calls me and keeps telling me
"I wanna be your girlfriend" over and over. This morning she texts me about "the question". While I really enjoy being with her and wouldn't mind having a relationship with her, is 3 weeks too soon to become exclusive????

 

[Blader]

So last night the girl I've been dating for 3 weeks drunk calls me and keeps telling me
"I wanna be your girlfriend" over and over. This morning she texts me about "the question". While I really enjoy being with her and wouldn't mind having a relationship with her, is 3 weeks too soon to become exclusive????

No. But it doesn't really matter anyway if you both want to be exclusive.

 

[Count Dookkake]

So last night the girl I've been dating for 3 weeks drunk calls me and keeps telling me
"I wanna be your girlfriend" over and over. This morning she texts me about "the question". While I really enjoy being with her and wouldn't mind having a relationship with her, is 3 weeks too soon to become exclusive????

It's up to you.

You have all the power right now. Don't squander it.

 

[CherryWoodFuton]

It's up to you.

You have all the power right now. Don't squander it.

No. But it doesn't really matter anyway if you both want to be exclusive.

Pulled the trigger and said yes. So basically I'm not single anymore.....

 

[Raynes]

Then...you lost? Sorry that someone else made a move on her?

I don't think anyone made a move on her. There's just someone she likes. Either way, lost.
I know it's pointless just posting it, I just wanted to let it out somewhere.

 

[Attackthebase]

Enjoy the sweet nectar of forbidden fruit, crazy, religious girl sex. Just be prepared for her to end it because 1) she doesn't want to think of you burning in hell for eternity or 2) you begin to erode her beliefs. While it lasts, it's a memorable adventure, but it will not end well.

Yup. My friend dated the VP of a Catholic club. She became crazy because of his sexual ventures. He broke her of her religion, but she tried to kill him....That was a fun night to watch, and we had to haul ass after shit went down.

Point: it won't turn out well.

 

[Aesius]

Uh oh, I'm in a shit test I think. I jokingly accused a girl of being shy and she responded with she's not shy at all. My response was basically "prove it to me" and she countered with "nah I'm fairly confident I'm not shy so there's probably nothing for me to prove ". Now what?

I know this is an advice thread and it's common to dissect scenarios like this in your head and share them with GAF, but holy fuck you've gotta stop doing that.

It's really, really difficult to get anywhere with women when you are breaking down and analyzing every single thing they say and then thinking of the "perfect" response or comeback.

I used to be big into PUA shit when I was 19/20 years old, but you know what helped me more than anything? Forgetting every single bit of it with one exception: confidence.

And having confidence means you don't agonize over conversations like this. Live in the moment and don't worry too much about the things you say.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Basically, be a Jedi.

 

[Ninja_Hawk]

I know this is an advice thread and it's common to dissect scenarios like this in your head and share them with GAF, but holy fuck you've gotta stop doing that.

It's really, really difficult to get anywhere with women when you are breaking down and analyzing every single thing they say and then thinking of the "perfect" response or comeback.

I used to be big into PUA shit when I was 19/20 years old, but you know what helped me more than anything? Forgetting every single bit of it with one exception: confidence.

And having confidence means you don't agonize over conversations like this. Live in the moment and don't worry too much about the things you say.

DING DING DING!!!! WE HAVE A WINNER!!!!

 

[soultron]

I know this is an advice thread and it's common to dissect scenarios like this in your head and share them with GAF, but holy fuck you've gotta stop doing that.

It's really, really difficult to get anywhere with women when you are breaking down and analyzing every single thing they say and then thinking of the "perfect" response or comeback.

I used to be big into PUA shit when I was 19/20 years old, but you know what helped me more than anything? Forgetting every single bit of it with one exception: confidence.

And having confidence means you don't agonize over conversations like this. Live in the moment and don't worry too much about the things you say.

Troof bawmbs.

 

[Minamu]

I know this is an advice thread and it's common to dissect scenarios like this in your head and share them with GAF, but holy fuck you've gotta stop doing that.

It's really, really difficult to get anywhere with women when you are breaking down and analyzing every single thing they say and then thinking of the "perfect" response or comeback.

I used to be big into PUA shit when I was 19/20 years old, but you know what helped me more than anything? Forgetting every single bit of it with one exception: confidence.

And having confidence means you don't agonize over conversations like this. Live in the moment and don't worry too much about the things you say.

Sure, you have a point there Turns out it wasn't that big of a deal, we've been talking back and forth all evening and it's cool. I haven't actually tried any of the really deep PUA stuff in "the field" yet and i'm already starting to feel like it's too much work and sort of creepy.

Edit: How old are you now?

 

[NihonTiger90]

I know this is an advice thread and it's common to dissect scenarios like this in your head and share them with GAF, but holy fuck you've gotta stop doing that.

It's really, really difficult to get anywhere with women when you are breaking down and analyzing every single thing they say and then thinking of the "perfect" response or comeback.

I used to be big into PUA shit when I was 19/20 years old, but you know what helped me more than anything? Forgetting every single bit of it with one exception: confidence.

And having confidence means you don't agonize over conversations like this. Live in the moment and don't worry too much about the things you say.

Bingo. I can't tell you how much confidence matters. Now, it doesn't mean you won't feel down

And update on the girl thing: found out she is like super, super shy. That explains things a bit easier. Good news is that ... well, I know exactly how this is because I used to be the same, so I know how to deal with it.

 

[soundahfekz]

I don't think anyone made a move on her. There's just someone she likes. Either way, lost.
I know it's pointless just posting it, I just wanted to let it out somewhere.

How much of a friend were you if as soon as she has interest in someone you want to end the friendship? Should've manned up and took her out on a date or something.

It'll probably do her good to be rid of your "friendship" anyway. That level of passive aggressive behavior just kills me.

I know this is an advice thread and it's common to dissect scenarios like this in your head and share them with GAF, but holy fuck you've gotta stop doing that.

It's really, really difficult to get anywhere with women when you are breaking down and analyzing every single thing they say and then thinking of the "perfect" response or comeback.

I used to be big into PUA shit when I was 19/20 years old, but you know what helped me more than anything? Forgetting every single bit of it with one exception: confidence.

And having confidence means you don't agonize over conversations like this. Live in the moment and don't worry too much about the things you say.

Yup. PUA shit is just taking another man's formula and wearing it as your own. The core message of confidence is sound, but to hell with emulating techniques. It's best to flow within your own personality. If you're confident in what you say and do, and don't put women on a pedestal regardless of looks, you'll do great.

 

[soundahfekz]

edit : double post

 

[Raynes]

How much of a friend were you if as soon as she has interest in someone you want to end the friendship? Should've manned up and took her out on a date or something.

It'll probably do her good to be rid of your "friendship" anyway. That level of passive aggressive behavior just kills me.

You've got the wrong idea. We're actually very good friends, with the things she says it seemed as though she was leading me on. The reason I don't think continuing to be friends would be best is that I'd always be jealous, and our relationship just wouldn't be the same. I'm not being passive aggressive, I'm more than willing to tell her exactly how I feel. And I have been out with her a couple of times and I asked her again somewhat recently, but she said she couldn't. Please don't be so quick to judge.

 

[SRG01]

It's not forced social situations. College is a target rich environment. You can meet girls in class, in your dorm, walking to class, in the cafeteria, at a party, as part of an organization, at a sporting event, etc. Your odds of coming across a dateable woman in day-to-day life are much higher than after you graduate.

After you graduate and get a full-time job, you have less free time than you did in college. I don't know about you, but I certainly didnt have 40 hours of class every week as an undergrad. It's very easy to get stuck in a routine of work -> home -> sleep where your chances of coming across a dateable woman are very slim if you choose not to date coworkers. It gets even worse if you have a long commute or your job requires 50-60 hours a week.

Absolutely it's still possible to meet a girl post-college and have a healthy relationship, but you have to make a far greater effort on your part to seek out opportunities that previously were in your face without you having to work for it. You also have to sharpen up your game and social skills to talk to a stranger at a bar, library, or grocery store because you don't have the crutch of shared classes/pre-existing commonality built in for you to talk about.

It is most certainly forced social situations, because a person is placed in that situation without any choice. A person's social life dropping off a cliff after college is certainly not because a person has no time, because that has more to do with the person and whether they are willing to make the effort to go out.

Saying that the college years are "target-rich" relative to post-grad is completely delusional. Not only does a person have more spending money after graduation, but they have less academic commitments, regular working hours, and not to mention a larger dating pool age-wise.

If the only stated advantage is "relative effort", then I'm sorry, I don't jive with that kind of philosophy.

I'm guessing doing some online stuff like OK Cupid is good too, just to keep my social activity up?

Yes, but I suggest combining that with other activities. Rec leagues are a good start. Or dance classes. Online dating should only be a supplement to, and not replace, your existing social life.

 

[Smelly Tramp]

so my new years resolution is to become like ryan gosling from crazy stupid love, i have a current girlfriend but i'm gonna get ripped as fuck anyway and then eventually cut my hair like his.

 

[Miguel]

Oops... wrong thread. Well, I'll just bump my long ass post from above, thoughts?

 

[BoobPhysics101]

so my new years resolution is to become like ryan gosling from crazy stupid love, i have a current girlfriend but i'm gonna get ripped as fuck anyway and then eventually cut my hair like his.

You also have to figure out a way to make one of your eyes slightly cock-eyed like his.