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[TurboLibre]

I'm starting to realize a core problem these past few weeks and it's being highlighted by these two girls I know. Both of them like me, but I respond to them very differently. The difference is I'm interested in one and the other is a little too young (18), so I don't really see her the same way. When I talk to the younger one I don't analyze what she's saying, what it means if she doesn't respond to a text, I don't read into her actions to see if she likes me or not. The other is the opposite, I'm pretty interested in her and while I have absolutely no problem talking to her I analyze the shit out of her texts and what it may mean when this or that happens. I'm great at hiding it so it hasn't got in my way yet, but it does make things unnecessarily stressful on my end.

Anyways, I think it's been a bit of a breakthrough. Now that I know I act this way I can work towards changing it. Need to learn how to treat these girls I'm interested in the same way I'd treat any of my friends, and not get hung up on the small stuff. Easier said then done, but I think I can make it work.

 

[Xun]

I'm starting to realize a core problem these past few weeks and it's being highlighted by these two girls I know. Both of them like me, but I respond to them very differently. The difference is I'm interested in one and the other is a little too young (18), so I don't really see her the same way. When I talk to the younger one I don't analyze what she's saying, what it means if she doesn't respond to a text, I don't read into her actions to see if she likes me or not. The other is the opposite, I'm pretty interested in her and while I have absolutely no problem talking to her I analyze the shit out of her texts and what it may mean when this or that happens. I'm great at hiding it so it hasn't got in my way yet, but it does make things unnecessarily stressful on my end.

Anyways, I think it's been a bit of a breakthrough. Now that I know I act this way I can work towards changing it. Need to learn how to treat these girls I'm interested in the same way I'd treat any of my friends, and not get hung up on the small stuff. Easier said then done, but I think I can make it work.

18 isn't that young, but it of course depends on how mature she is.

Do you go to college?

 

[Count Dookkake]

Regarding confidence:

THE NEVERENDING STORY has a great lesson on the subject in the scene with The Southern Oracle. Watch that scene repeatedly and let it sink in.

 

[TurboLibre]

18 isn't that young, but it of course depends on how mature she is.

Do you go to college?

Graduated two years back. College was a giant sausage fest so it didn't do me any good, and it got worse afterwords. Not because I couldn't find women, but every women I met was in a long term relationship. Every. Single. One. Even now finding a single women is like finding a four leaf clover. I find one once in a great while and every time I'm a little shocked they exist.

As for the girl, 18 is a little too young when you're in your mid twenties. I'm not counting her out, I just don't care all that much and sort of just see her as a friend.

 

[SRG01]

Regarding confidence:

THE NEVERENDING STORY has a great lesson on the subject in the scene with The Southern Oracle. Watch that scene repeatedly and let it sink in.

Something needing a name from a human child? What?

 

[SlasherJPC]

Hey dating gaf! Have not been on here in awhile and a SHIT storm of stuff has happened. All I can say is... I left to go overseas for work, had to come back for surgery, found out my gf was cheating, and dumped her. There is plenty more to that story but... that's the main idea. Though now I've been back almost 6 months, I have another 4 left before I come back home for good.

Now my question to you all is this. I have three vacations planned. One in a month for Thailand for 10 days. Then three weeks after I get home Vegas (for memorial day weekend). Then a week after that I go to the UK and Belfast areas for a month.

So with that said this girl I know barely from back home has started chatting and we like the idea of dating one another, but honestly, I just don't want any commitment like that of any kind till I'm back home from all my vacation and figuring out what else to do from there on out. So she staretd developing feelings for me and I understand that but I put a stop to it. Personally I don't think its fair for either one of us to get attached especially when we don't even know if the physical chemistry will be there or not.

Anyways, just wanted to know if there was any other pointers or suggestions from some fellow gaffers!

 

[Count Dookkake]

Something needing a name from a human child? What?

lol, no. More the path to getting there. Walking between the Sphinxes.

 

[Smelly Tramp]

You also have to figure out a way to make one of your eyes slightly cock-eyed like his.

HEY, ITS OUR IMPERFECTIONS THAT MAKE US UNIQUE

dont diss the gos haha

 

[Count Dookkake]

stuff

From experience, I advise not to initiate romantic relationships any other way but in person.

The problem you describe is only one of several that can emerge.

 

[Miguel]

Decided to join RealPic GAF now that I know it exists.

 

[SlasherJPC]

From experience, I advise not to initiate romantic relationships any other way but in person.

The problem you describe is only one of several that can emerge.

Thats pretty much why I put a stop to it. Though after my last gf, and all that crap. I'm not in the idea to rush into anything and I don't want to be bothered with it while I'm traveling.

 

[Sailor]

hey GAF..so im a 2nd year college student home for winter break and i decided to fb nessage this girl i knew about 5 years back..we used to have a big circle of friends and usually all hung out as a group during summers but that decreased less and less as we went to different high schools..so we were always friends but never too close. here's the convoy:

*disclaimer, the names are fake

me: hey sarah! how've you been?

her: hi mike! been doing pretty well, how about yourself?

me: i've been doing pretty awesome..college is deff much harder as a sophomore but im keeping up thank God haven't talked to u in a while but glad to hear you're doing well..is college everything u expected?

btw, you look stunning in your profile pic ;p

her: good to hear all is well,college is pretty much what i've expected so far, which is nice and awe lol why thaank you mike!

soo..I want to casually ask her to lunch/dinner without coming off as creepy and without gettong ffriendzoned immediately ha..any advice as to where to go next?

 

[Boss Man]

hey GAF..so im a 2nd year college student home for winter break and i decided to fb nessage this girl i knew about 5 years back..we used to have a big circle of friends and usually all hung out as a group during summers but that decreased less and less as we went to different high schools..so we were always friends but never too close. here's the convoy:

*disclaimer, the names are fake

me: hey sarah! how've you been?

her: hi mike! been doing pretty well, how about yourself?

me: i've been doing pretty awesome..college is deff much harder as a sophomore but im keeping up thank God haven't talked to u in a while but glad to hear you're doing well..is college everything u expected?

btw, you look stunning in your profile pic ;p

her: good to hear all is well,college is pretty much what i've expected so far, which is nice and awe lol why thaank you mike!

soo..I want to casually ask her to lunch/dinner without coming off as creepy and without gettong ffriendzoned immediately ha..any advice as to where to go next?

She doesn't sound interested. At least not from what I can gather from that conversation. I could be dead wrong though, go for it if you think there's a shot. Might wanna beat around the bush a bit more with this one before just asking her out though.

 

[Smelly Tramp]

bro you cant just say - "oh yeh you look stunning in your fb profile pic, yo wanna come out for a coffee with me?"

you've got to ease her in. set up, or make sure you're at some kind of social gathering you know she'll be at where you all have mutual friends.

then talk to her, get to know her, charm that motherfucker then throw down the proposition.

asking girls out over fb is crazy stalker shit.

 

[Sailor]

^i guess that's true..thanks for tthe advice guys. we all might be getting together again soon so we'll see, im usually better in person with girls anyway

 

[threenote]

Is this a bad sign?

I asked her out for another date and suggested we do it this weekend, and she said she was extremely busy, but said Monday would work.

Thing is, she did this a couple times before, but we always ended up doing something. Regardless, we are doing something on Monday.

I guess I'm over thinking things again, and that makes sense since I'm going crazy over this girl.

 

[JambiBum]

Is this a bad sign?

I asked her out for another date and suggested we do it this weekend, and she said she was extremely busy, but said Monday would work.

Thing is, she did this a couple times before, but we always ended up doing something. Regardless, we are doing something on Monday.

I guess I'm over thinking things again, and that makes sense since I'm going crazy over this girl.

STOP OVER THINKING. It is going to drive you insane. It doesn't matter if you are going crazy over a girl or not. That isn't an excuse to over think. You use it as an excuse to make yourself feel better about it. She gave you a day that would work, and you think that's a bad sign. Over thinking is the number one problem in this thread. By far.

 

[NihonTiger90]

Is this a bad sign?

I asked her out for another date and suggested we do it this weekend, and she said she was extremely busy, but said Monday would work.

Thing is, she did this a couple times before, but we always ended up doing something. Regardless, we are doing something on Monday.

I guess I'm over thinking things again, and that makes sense since I'm going crazy over this girl.

Don't overthink it. threenote, you are still golden, man.

 

[threenote]

Thanks guys. This thread is so useful and you guys are incredibly supportive. I really appreciate it.

 

[Dragon]

Is this a bad sign?

I asked her out for another date and suggested we do it this weekend, and she said she was extremely busy, but said Monday would work.

Thing is, she did this a couple times before, but we always ended up doing something. Regardless, we are doing something on Monday.

I guess I'm over thinking things again, and that makes sense since I'm going crazy over this girl.

She's making time for you.

You're fine. It's when she starts canceling on you or not responding to you that you have a problem.

Keep it up man!

 

[-PXG-]

STOP OVER THINKING. It is going to drive you insane. It doesn't matter if you are going crazy over a girl or not. That isn't an excuse to over think. You use it as an excuse to make yourself feel better about it. She gave you a day that would work, and you think that's a bad sign. Over thinking is the number one problem in this thread. By far.

Why aren't you playing the Stranded playlist with me...oh wait...

I've rediscovered Gears. No need for wimnez. Fuck 'em

Spoiler

I hate being single. Lonely as fuck. Depressed. Hold me dawg.

 

[JambiBum]

Why aren't you playing the Stranded playlist with me...oh wait...

I've rediscovered Gears. No need for wimnez. Fuck 'em

Spoiler

I hate being single. Lonely as fuck. Depressed. Hold me dawg.

Because I go on road trips where I watch cops shoot deer in the head. Twice.


But for realz, because I have been dating two ladies. I don't have a lot of time for the gears right now. I'm just enjoying the attention I get until either one of them decides they want to get serious. Then I must make a choice. Blurghghhgh.

 

[jasonng]

hey GAF..so im a 2nd year college student home for winter break and i decided to fb nessage this girl i knew about 5 years back..we used to have a big circle of friends and usually all hung out as a group during summers but that decreased less and less as we went to different high schools..so we were always friends but never too close. here's the convoy:

*disclaimer, the names are fake

me: hey sarah! how've you been?

her: hi mike! been doing pretty well, how about yourself?

me: i've been doing pretty awesome..college is deff much harder as a sophomore but im keeping up thank God haven't talked to u in a while but glad to hear you're doing well..is college everything u expected?

btw, you look stunning in your profile pic ;p

her: good to hear all is well,college is pretty much what i've expected so far, which is nice and awe lol why thaank you mike!

soo..I want to casually ask her to lunch/dinner without coming off as creepy and without gettong ffriendzoned immediately ha..any advice as to where to go next?

She doesn't sound interested. At least not from what I can gather from that conversation. I could be dead wrong though, go for it if you think there's a shot. Might wanna beat around the bush a bit more with this one before just asking her out though.

Nooooo. Just ask her for lunch, be direct. There's not a lot of info to go on so it's hard to tell if she's interested or not. Being direct lets her know you are though. If she's not, you're off to the next. Don't waste her time or more importantly, don't waste yours.

 

[-PXG-]

Because I go on road trips where I watch cops shoot deer in the head. Twice.


But for realz, because I have been dating two ladies. I don't have a lot of time for the gears right now. I'm just enjoying the attention I get until either one of them decides they want to get serious. Then I must make a choice. Blurghghhgh.

Be honest, you bought two Real Dolls

 

[DoomGyver]

Why aren't you playing the Stranded playlist with me...oh wait...

I've rediscovered Gears. No need for wimnez. Fuck 'em

Spoiler

I hate being single. Lonely as fuck. Depressed. Hold me dawg.

I know that feel bro.

I keep striking out. Too depressed to play gears.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

My new "girlfriend" has ignored me for the past two days and flaked on me the last time that we were going to hangout.

She hasn't communicated anything to me so I have no idea what is even going on. She updates her statuses on Facebook and replies to other peoples comments but wont say a word to me.

Not to mention I go back to Lincoln tomorrow night for school and we were supposed to spend the weekend together, yet she hasn't texted or called me. Nothing.

Back to the drawing board it seems soon. Oh well, at least I know I can get a girlfriend after getting my heart crushed by the ex. confidence booster if anything

 

[JambiBum]

Be honest, you bought two Real Dolls

NO. That would be like 5 grand lol. One of them just started working at a fancy ass massage parlor so I get some fancy ass massages for free. Plus she sings quite well. The other one makes too much money and has been a close friend of mine forever. I DON'T KNOW WHO TO CHOOSE. So I am just playing it out until one of them decides that they want something more serious.

 

[radioheadrule83]

I haven't seen my ex flatmate since I moved out about three weeks ago, he's got a girlfriend who is really nice.. we're out a at a friend of a friends housewarming party and he's rolling around on the floor with the new house owner girl snogging her face off. Part of me is pissed cos I like this girl, and I know he's not interested beyond the here and now, but the other part of me is pissed because he's betraying his perfectly nice girlfriend and doesn't realise how lucky he is. I came out of my relationship in September and it wasn't great for a few months before that but I'd have never dreampt of doing what he's doing now. Everyone is asleep in the same room and I had to get up, take my shit and go to another room to sleep because I just can't abide it. I'm not going to tell him or her what to do or grass them up but I think he's a fucking prick... And I didn't before tonight. It's a strange feeling, losing all respect for a friend.

 

[-PXG-]

I know that feel bro.

I keep striking out. Too depressed to play gears.

I've been too busy to play Gears as well. I renewed my Live sub today (made sure to disable auto renewal) That and I just have a shit load of other games. I hate it when I have a huge backlog and I end up not knowing what to play. I just bought Rayman Origins and Uncharted 3. I can't decide on what to beat first.

Of course, I just got a shit load of games on Steam. Plus, I got Dolphin to work on my new PC. I have the sudden urge to transport my favorite GC and Wii games over. Oh, and I still have my stupid XBLA and PSN backlog too. It's ridiculous.

Anyway, it seems like I have EVERYTHING I could ever want in the world, except someone special to share my life with. Ever since 2008, I had gotten used to having a GF. I've been single longer than I have been now, but I just don't like it. I don't like myself without a woman around. Things just feel off and not as good as they should.

My job and my portfolio work takes up a huge chunk of my time. Any free-time I have I'd rather dedicate towards giving myself time to relax. I'd hate to waste what little free time I have with a female who is just going to BS me and not be worth the effort. I hate the dating/courtship stage. It's such nonsense, especially when time is limited. If I knew if things wouldn't work out with a girl, I would have used that time finding someone different or done something for myself. If only I had that kind of insight. No one does though.

Oh, and I miss that lovey dovey shit. I miss cuddling and late night phone calls. I miss sex too. One great perk with monogamous relationships is sex without rubbers (thank da lawd for birth control pills). You haven't lived until you put your raw dick inside a woman. The feeling is incredible. Night and day difference. Hell, it's even better is when you bust a nut inside. I've only done that one time. I don't plan on doing that again for a looooooooooong time.

I loathe the fact that once I start fucking again, I gotta where those horrible things. But hey, if it stops her from getting pregnant and helps me not get a STD, then so be it. I ain't gonna play with fire.

NO. That would be like 5 grand lol. One of them just started working at a fancy ass massage parlor so I get some fancy ass massages for free. Plus she sings quite well. The other one makes too much money and has been a close friend of mine forever. I DON'T KNOW WHO TO CHOOSE. So I am just playing it out until one of them decides that they want something more serious.

Happy endings? ^_________________^

 

[soultron]

Why aren't you playing the Stranded playlist with me...oh wait...

I've rediscovered Gears. No need for wimnez. Fuck 'em

Spoiler

I hate being single. Lonely as fuck. Depressed. Hold me dawg.

I sense a disturbance in the force.

Why are you hinging your happiness on having a partner?

 

[Attackthebase]

I sense a disturbance in the force.

Why are you hinging your happiness on having a partner?

What Soultron said. Embrace the glorious life of being single for a bit.

 

[jasonng]

I want to vent a bit, maybe a bit off topic. It's about a friend and he's incredibly terrible with women. I got to hang out with him tonight, a first time in a long time because he never comes out to just to chill with us. It's always an excuse; no money, doesn't like to drink beer, public transportation is on a weird schedule, etc. The guy has self-esteem issues and because of it he has such a backwards view on women and the dating scene. So today he shared his frustration with a girl who's not texting him back. Not calling because he only texts her or "likes" her statuses on facebook. Surprisingly, he was still able to go out twice with her despite not being forward with her. So tonight, he was venting about how this girl is not texting him back and he's even writing on her facebook being very passive agressive and asking her why she's not hitting him back.

The problem I'm having is that he's refusing my advice because he's so focused on getting this girl's attention. I've witnessed a lot of his strike outs and he always gets depressed afterwards. I'd get upset because he ignores my advices (along with many others) and restarts this vicious cycle all over. I've given up on him. But it's gotten to the point where I'm getting angry at his bullshit excuses and reading his vent #2342356639 about why women are terrible. I'd ignore it but now I'm making fun of him for it. I know I shouldn't and I feel like a dick but I joke on him because he's an idiot. Why do I get so worked up about this guy?

 

[News Bot]

Well, after more than a year, no longer single. Not totally feeling it yet but considering the amount of time I've been single, I guess that's to be expected. Or is that just how women feel most of the time? She's excellent though.

 

[-PXG-]

I sense a disturbance in the force.

Why are you hinging your happiness on having a partner?

Uh oh. I feel a "don't put so much energy into having a relationship" or "don't feel that you have validate yourself through others" post coming. I've given that advice to a lot of people in the past. I'd have numerous people (IRL, not just GAF) tell me that. I know who who I am and I know what I want. Some things just never change...

No one likes to be lonely. Everyone likes some level intimacy, whether it be someone to talk to, someone to sit with, someone to hold in your arms, someone to have sex with, ect. I just feel empty without a lady of my own. Hookups are lame and don't offer the level of substance that satisfies me. I've always had different or higher standards for things than most people. I've felt and and saw things differently than most people. I guess why that's the reason I don't get along with a lot of folks, inspite of the that I'm told how nice and caring I am (yet, I can be a total asshole too). Anyway, that's an entirely different subject.

I just like having a companion and life partner. Note, I didn't say I like the idea of being in a relationship. I like being with the actual person. I love being in love with a person, and doing all I can for them, not the just the general notion of being in love. There's a huge difference. I'm not depressed (okay, maybe a little) or suicidal (definitely not). I'm just bummed. I have so much going on for me right now, I'd just love to share my happiness with someone else and would love to give some joy to someone special. Having done that before, it hurts more that I don't have that now.

I wish there was more to my life now than work, art, video games and getting drunk with friends. A female would fill that void. In all seriousness, it's what I need right now. I've been told how happy I am whenever I've had a girlfriend, especially the last one I had. I miss those days. I want to have them back (with someone else, of course) as soon as possible.

 

[Count Dookkake]

My new "girlfriend" has ignored me for the past two days and flaked on me the last time that we were going to hangout.

She hasn't communicated anything to me so I have no idea what is even going on. She updates her statuses on Facebook and replies to other peoples comments but wont say a word to me.

Not to mention I go back to Lincoln tomorrow night for school and we were supposed to spend the weekend together, yet she hasn't texted or called me. Nothing.

Back to the drawing board it seems soon. Oh well, at least I know I can get a girlfriend after getting my heart crushed by the ex. confidence booster if anything

Why the scare-quotes around "girlfriend"?

How long were you dating?

 

[TheSchwab_7]

Why the scare-quotes around "girlfriend"?

How long were you dating?

Not even a week officially, but we've been going on dates for a month before we put a label on it. On all of our dates things were great, ton of fun, then boom nothing now.

 

[JambiBum]

Uh oh. I feel a "don't put so much energy into having a relationship" or "don't feel that you have validate yourself through others" post coming. I've given that advice to a lot of people in the past. I'd have numerous people (IRL, not just GAF) tell me that. I know who who I am and I know what I want. Some things just never change...

No one likes to be lonely. Everyone likes some level intimacy, whether it be someone to talk to, someone to sit with, someone to hold in your arms, someone to have sex with, ect. I just feel empty without a lady of my own. Hookups are lame and don't offer the level of substance that satisfies me. I've always had different or higher standards for things than most people. I've felt and and saw things differently than most people. I guess why that's the reason I don't get along with a lot of folks, inspite of the that I'm told how nice and caring I am (yet, I can be a total asshole too). Anyway, that's an entirely different subject.

I just like having a companion and life partner. Note, I didn't say I like the idea of being in a relationship. I like being with the actual person. I love being in love with a person, and doing all I can for them, not the just the general notion of being in love. There's a huge difference. I'm not depressed (okay, maybe a little) or suicidal (definitely not). I'm just bummed. I have so much going on for me right now, I'd just love to share my happiness with someone else and would love to give some joy to someone special. Having done that before, it hurts more that I don't have that now.

I wish there was more to my life now than work, art, video games and getting drunk with friends. A female would fill that void. In all seriousness, it's what I need right now. I've been told how happy I am whenever I've had a girlfriend, especially the last one I had. I miss those days. I want to have them back (with someone else, of course) as soon as possible.

I fucking swear. Every time you make a substantial post about your life I am just reminded more and more that we are twins. I know we joke about it and shit but things like this just make me go check my reflection. Until my recent run I could never have a good job and a good relationship at the same time. I'm not a guy who likes random hookups, I would rather have something substantial. I kind of lucked out with what I have going right now, but at the same time I am just stuck waiting until one of them is ready to commit.

 

[Count Dookkake]

Not even a week officially, but we've been going on dates for a month before we put a label on it. On all of our dates things were great, ton of fun, then boom nothing now.

Going on dates... any sex?

I only ask, because it is a bad idea to call anyone your gf if you have not gotten off together in some way. Unless you are a kid.

No disrespect intended. I mean it to prevent further pain for you.


Did you send her a bunch of texts or IMs or something? If so, never do that.

 

[-PXG-]

I fucking swear. Every time you make a substantial post about your life I am just reminded more and more that we are twins. I know we joke about it and shit but things like this just make me go check my reflection. Until my recent run I could never have a good job and a good relationship at the same time. I'm not a guy who likes random hookups, I would rather have something substantial. I kind of lucked out with what I have going right now, but at the same time I am just stuck waiting until one of them is ready to commit.

Maybe we're secretly gay and we just don't know it. Destined to elope and ride into the sunset together.

 

[overcast]

So Gaf.. My girlfriend was giving me a hand job (kind of) through my boxers.. and well..

Spoiler

I came too soon

Humiliation.

 

[-PXG-]

So Gaf.. My girlfriend was giving me a hand job (kind of) through my boxers.. and well..

Spoiler

I came too soon

Humiliation.

You have hands.

Girls who don't suck dick make me sad. I looooove eating pussy. I expect my lady to love oral too. It's only fair.

 

[ThanksVision]

So me and this girl were seeing each other for about 6 months total. Nothing "official" but we would hang out and cuddle (do stuff etc) and it was honestly a blast. Pretty much dating without the title. Eventually her feelings fizzled out for me, and we just separated. I won't lie, I really fell for her. So every time I talked to her from then on I had a hard time suppressing any feelings, so it was better for me to ignore her and try and move on. But she didn't want to lose me in that sense, because we had become so close and she had started relying on me for support and friendship etc. Eventually she realized that it was really hard for me to talk to her, and decided that it would be better if we didn't talk after all. I know it's for the best, because I really need to move on, but I hate this situation. We have tons of classes together so it's p much impossible to just ignore her.

I started seeing this other girl, who is actually great in every sense of the word, but I don't feel anything like I did with the previous gal. I just don't know what to do about it. We both want to remain close but I don't want something more than just a close friend.

 

[overcast]

Well she gives me a lot of oral. There isn't a lack of that. We were using hands on each other simultaneously, and this is what happened. I laughed at myself quite a bit.

 

[TheSchwab_7]

Going on dates... any sex?

I only ask, because it is a bad idea to call anyone your gf if you have not gotten off together in some way. Unless you are a kid.

No disrespect intended. I mean it to prevent further pain for you.


Did you send her a bunch of texts or IMs or something? If so, never do that.

We madeout a few times, but no sex. Felt her up and stuff but no jobs yet.

And no I didn't send her a bunch of texts, I've learned not to do that. Sent like two and then thats it.

 

[Eggo]

We madeout a few times, but no sex. Felt her up and stuff but no jobs yet.

And no I didn't send her a bunch of texts, I've learned not to do that. Sent like two and then thats it.

Second base does not a girlfriend make. Why are some of you guys so anxious to put a label on things? It only makes things worse by putting extra pressure on the relationship, I don't think my girlfriend ever asked to put a label on things, and we're together for 2 years. I'm certainly not going to bring it up.

Also, PXG, you need to learn how to be happy with yourself. Your alone self. Otherwise you're trying to fill a hole all the time, and that's not a healthy way to live.

 

[Idde]

Part of what PXG wrote about bit me in the ass last night. I'm simply not compatible with a lot of people. Went on a date with a girl (woman) from salsaclass and I wasn't really feeling it. She's pretty hot, smart, has a awesome job and can hold a more than decent conversation.

The date was sort of against my better judgment. During salsaclass I was talking with her once and she told me we had good chemistry together and she really enjoyed my company. I said yes, but I thought no. Apparently the bar was lower for what she considered 'great chemistry'. It happened to me several times before:

A couple of yours ago I was in class with some girl. We were working together on a mag about sports and she was writing an article about a Dutch top-rope climber. She said she liked climbing as well. So did I. During the class I put on my iPod with Pink Floyd. Wish you were here was also her favorite song. She was also pretty hot. We went climbing together and though the climbing was fun...that was it. We had soooo much in common and there was no chemistry. I had to work to keep the conversation going.

I have the same with men. Most of the times I just don´t want to have a conversation. I´m just not interested and think about where I´d rather be.

About two months ago I had a sort of date to go for drinks and to the fair with the friend of a good friend of mine. I had briefly seen her once before. Set it up through facebook. The fair was already breaking up so I thought; well, there goes the date...what do we do now? We ended up café hopping and weaving through traffic in Amsterdam on her bike. Lots of banter, the fysical contact came naturally and there was never a dull moment. It was like...the perfect date. Though we didn't do anything special. Unfortunately she just broke up and she was going through all sorts of drama with her ex and another guy she was seeing. So no dice.

I used to get frustrated about the first two examples; I'm going on dates with them...why isn't anything happening? Now I just know I don't have chemistry with a loooot of people. So I just shrug and move on, without taking it personally.

The second kind of date..well...that really sucked because it was really awesome and that took me admittedly longer to get over. I've met several girls like this. Most of the time they're already taken or otherwise not available.

That's why I think PUA stuff like kino etc. doesn't work for me. When I meet someone I really like, I'm the smoothest motherfucker on the planet. If I'm not feeling it I completely shut down. So a question: if I go on a date with someone who I'm not feeling entirely, should I just power through and still 'escalate the kino'?

Euh...this ended up longer then I expected. Never talked to anyone about this and writing it down felt good. Sorry about the long post

 

[Slayer-33]

So Gaf.. My girlfriend was giving me a hand job (kind of) through my boxers.. and well..

Spoiler

I came too soon

Humiliation.

overcast
Member

Rained on her I guess.

<3 LOL.

 

[SRG01]

Joining in on the career-foreveralone GAF.

To be quite honest, a conversation with an old friend of mine got me thinking. Dates are supposed to be fun. I can set up a pretty good date, but it always felt like work on my part.

Up until last night. This was probably the first time in a long while that I've had fun on a date while single. Perhaps a part of it was the lowered expectations, but it was surprisingly low pressure and relaxing.

I think that's a factor that many of us forget is that there's more to the date than courting the girl. If you're not enjoying yourself, then what's the point?

 

[Miguel]

Random waves of insecurity have been hitting me more and more due to a recurring issue... I'll elaborate more tomorrow, or today if I feel like typing it out, but I have a suspicion the reason I thought she didn't want to be official yet has more to do with that, than the issue I originally thought.

I know, vaguesies doesn't help anyone, but I'll type it out later on.

 

[-PXG-]

Second base does not a girlfriend make. Why are some of you guys so anxious to put a label on things? It only makes things worse by putting extra pressure on the relationship, I don't think my girlfriend ever asked to put a label on things, and we're together for 2 years. I'm certainly not going to bring it up.

Also, PXG, you need to learn how to be happy with yourself. Your alone self. Otherwise you're trying to fill a hole all the time, and that's not a healthy way to live.

I've heard this shit so much in my life. What people don't understand is that I've spent most of my life alone. I'm sick of it. I've never really had many friends or people who to spend time with, growing up. Things have improved vastly over the years. I went from being very introverted to Mr. Social.

I can be content by myself but its not enough. Over time I get bored, lonely and eventually upset. My work, hobbies and friends can only fulfill me so much. I need balance. All the balls have to in the air