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Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need

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SRG01

Member
So, I'm in a bit of a bind here.

Last night, I went to Tango/second date with the girl, and it went pretty well. We had a lot of physical chemistry and we flirted a lot. We even got to talking about sex (not between us, but our views on it) in the car.

At one point, we got to talking about how we viewed each other, and it was mutual that we didn't know much about each other. I said that I liked spending time with her, and that I was interested in her. She said that she liked spending time with me too, but she got the impression that I wanted to jump into something right away (which she couldn't offer right now), to which I said that I wasn't (which was true). I remarked that 'The faster you get into something, the faster you want to get out'. I wanted to know her better before any potential relationship. At the end of the date, we tentatively set something for a mini-belated birthday for us, as well as possibly more Tango. No kiss, just a hug since she was also recovering from a cold.

That isn't the problem.

The problem is that after the date, I got to thinking about things. I'm obviously very attracted to her, and she excites me because she's very flirtatious and sexually open. On the other hand, our compatibility worries me. It says that we're like 83% match on OkC and we get along amazingly well, but... she's atheist and not really a dancer. In other words, I have fun with her and I'm enjoying myself... but does it mean that I like her? Is there even potential for something more? Should I call it off before I get too emotionally involved?

God, it's like the roles have suddenly reversed on me...
 

vitaminwateryum

corporate swill
SRG01 said:
So, I'm in a bit of a bind here.

Last night, I went to Tango/second date with the girl, and it went pretty well. We had a lot of physical chemistry and we flirted a lot. We even got to talking about sex (not between us, but our views on it) in the car.

At one point, we got to talking about how we viewed each other, and it was mutual that we didn't know much about each other. I said that I liked spending time with her, and that I was interested in her. She said that she liked spending time with me too, but she got the impression that I wanted to jump into something right away (which she couldn't offer right now), to which I said that I wasn't (which was true). I remarked that 'The faster you get into something, the faster you want to get out'. I wanted to know her better before any potential relationship. At the end of the date, we tentatively set something for a mini-belated birthday for us, as well as possibly more Tango. No kiss, just a hug since she was also recovering from a cold.

That isn't the problem.

The problem is that after the date, I got to thinking about things. I'm obviously very attracted to her, and she excites me because she's very flirtatious and sexually open. On the other hand, our compatibility worries me. It says that we're like 83% match on OkC and we get along amazingly well, but... she's atheist and not really a dancer. In other words, I have fun with her and I'm enjoying myself... but does it mean that I like her? Is there even potential for something more? Should I call it off before I get too emotionally involved?

God, it's like the roles have suddenly reversed on me...

Letting a website percentage predetermine whether or not you're good for another person is absolute horse shit. You're both enjoying your time together (as far as I can tell) so what does it matter? As for whether you like her or not, that's up to you to figure out.
 
BronzeWolf said:
UPDATE: Went to the dr's office today. Catched the assistant checking facebook out. Talked a little bit, made her laugh a few times. She actually was kind of nervous. The dr did her thing and I was done. I said bye.

I didn't ask her for her facebook or number, but it was implied that I had facebook too so I just sent her a request!

I hope she accepts u.U

And she added me, not online, but I will leave her a message. I have done this tango quite a few times before, so this should be smooth sailing
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
dskillzhtown said:
I think in my post I presented two sides of what could happen. Alot of the advice here gives the moral high ground extreme. I try to give some real-life shades of gray. If she is spending all her time with him and not with her bf, then there could be something in the future for them, maybe not. But to totally dismiss that chance is being naive. I am not saying I know what will/is happening in this situation, but I am saying that there is a chance that things could work out for the best for the two of them.

I agree with you. It's easy to wear the white knight persona online, but I question how these moral upstanding citizens would react in a real-world scenario. It's one thing to say "I would never cheat, and cheating is wrong." It's another to be presented with a real opportunity on a business trip in a foreign country when a girl has her hand on your lap and you've been drinking. I'm not condoning cheating, but things aren't always black and white in the real world.

Adent said:
Wow this thread makes me cringe. It's nice that your all trying to help each other with advice just not the right advice. I'm sure it's happened before but what happened when someone came in and told you guys about Pickup websites like http://www.fastseduction.com/? Were you guy's like "No we like to bash our heads against the wall instead!"?

GAF's reaction to PUA material is generally negative. I don't understand it myself. I think the majority of people who criticize PUA as 'sleazy' or 'trying to be something you're not' are close-minded and quick to judge without trying it. I'm of the belief that if you keep doing the same thing, you will get the same results, so why not do something different? The pickup resource I recommend is Pickup Podcast. I agree with almost everything they say, and the value of social circle game/being a better man.
 

Aesius

Member
Russell said:
Thanks for asking.

To make a long story short (very short, since I have to leave now)...

I've always very deeply longed to experience an intimate physical/emotional connection with a woman, but it hasn't happened. And because it hasn't happened, it's making me feel fucked up.

Why hasn't it happened? Have you tried and failed? And how old are you?
 

Adent

Can't manage for sh!t
Eggo said:
GAF's reaction to PUA material is generally negative. I don't understand it myself. I think the majority of people who criticize PUA as 'sleazy' or 'trying to be something you're not' are close-minded and quick to judge without trying it. I'm of the belief that if you keep doing the same thing, you will get the same results, so why not do something different? The pickup resource I recommend is Pickup Podcast. I agree with almost everything they say, and the value of social circle game/being a better man.

Thanks for that response. I've thinking of looking for a podcast like that. Is it on Itunes? I'll definitely check it out.
 
Adent said:
Thanks for that response. I've thinking of looking for a podcast like that. Is it on Itunes? I'll definitely check it out.

It's very good.

And please don't feel as if you are offending us. We welcome most input.
 
Aurora said:
Heh, at the fear of sounding patronising, you remind me of me when I was 19. Similar build and height to you, regarded as good-looking, and was in a similar situation regarding girls. I'm almost 22 now and I've changed and improved so much over the past 2-3 years.

I'm not really sure of any guides that would help, but have you read The Game or ever read any Pick Up Artist material? You can disregard a lot of the content, but the frame of mind they set you up for is actually really good for talking to girls.

Apart from that, I have to say 90% of it will come from trial and error and just getting stuck in with social situations. Uni is a great time for this because everyone is new, nobody is quite familiar yet and so people are much more inclined to be nice and befriend you. You will find many people feeling the way you do so no reason to feel shy or left out.

The most obvious place to start chatting to girls is in your dorms. Even if you just live with guys, there must be girl neighbours right? You don't even need an excuse to talk to them, you live with/next to them so just approach and it should flow really easily.

Another area is during your lectures, or generally on campus.

There is probably no better place to start sharpening your social skills than at uni, so get cracking and meet some new people! That's the first step anyway.

PS: I'm in my final year of uni, also in the UK. Feel free to ask questions.

Thanks for the advice, i'll look into The Game. It just always struck me as being too 'Americanised' and not really compatible with UK life. Just too many terrible jokes and cringe worthy pickup lines that I can't see even the veterans using well. But i'll give it a read regardless.

I live at home and commute which makes things kind of difficult on the dorm front - I basically just go in for classes and come home. Also, when in uni, I am almost always with friends so I never really get any 'alone' time which I can experiment with. I have been thinking of maybe trying out the student union or one of the clubs like movie night or something like that.

And the subject i'm studying is pretty much a complete sausage fest - there is literally only 3 girls out of my class of 100 people. Sometimes we join up with another class which adds some more girls to the mix, but i'm not interested in any of them (two are taken, a couple aren't great, another couple are bitches, and one is a hot Muslim - no offence meant, but they can't date).

I find I get on well with all the guys on the course because we all have similar interests, although I think i'm actually too sociable for them. It would be great if I could channel that into the opposite sex - I reckon I need some new hobbies for a start.
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
'The Game' is fucking retarded and horribly written. If you're going to get into that whole PUA community stuff at least dive into the real material and go to some place like fastseducers.net or whatever it's called, or get an ebook or something.
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
Adent said:
Thanks for that response. I've thinking of looking for a podcast like that. Is it on Itunes? I'll definitely check it out.

Yes, I downloaded it from iTunes.


demon said:
'The Game' is fucking retarded and horribly written. If you're going to get into that whole PUA community stuff at least dive into the real material and go to some place like fastseducers.net or whatever it's called, or get an ebook or something.

I'll counter this by saying I enjoyed The Game and would recommend it to others in a heartbeat. It's what got me interested in pickup culture to start. It also led me to other reading like that body language book which I recommended a few pages back. I liked Strauss' writing enough to read The Dirt as well.
 
alright first shot at this because this time, I want a relationship with this gal:

shes 30, im 24

first date: took her on a miniadventure and she had a blast - went out around 2pm, adventure took an hour, afterwords got some food, chatted (she was still shaking from the adrenaline) and then moved on over to an ice cream joint. we both seemed to have a great time and she was giving me the "touching" regularly, though I only touched her once or twice on the small of her back. we parted ways by nightfall and instead of a kiss (not the right moment - loud/busy on the street), we exchanged hugs and she wouldent let go for a good .5 seconds and squeezed nice and hard. go me.

second date: decided to go have dinner and a movie, so we met at the food joint. she replies "youre cuter than i thought" (i read this: younger), but we end up having pretty decent conversation, with her smiling and giving all the good signals. we end up driving to the movie theater, only to park in the garage and sit, talk and drink in the car. enough time goes by that we decide to skip the movie and go bar hopping instead. we hop around a few bars, touching/holding hands along the way, lent her my coat to which she held on herself with crossed arms, but with my hand on around her and her left hand gripping my right hand around her waist. cool. we get back to her car, drive back to the restaurant and park next to my car. were sitting in the car, and we start to make out. making out continues, to which i open the door and go around her side, yank her out and sit her in the backseat of my car which i swing around and jump into as well (more room - seats fold). seats fold, and making out goes on for over 4 hours under the full moon we can both see depending on whos on the bottom. I unbutton her pants, but she pulls them on. I figure no sex, cool, i like her enough to wait (lotttttta nipple play/groping, though). she then mounts me and starts grinding on me (erect as ever), and literally soaks herself through her pants. eventually this dies down, and we make out some more and cuddle in the back, nearing 5am so i tell her she sound go and she heads out. prius trunk-window ftw. accidently leave my coat in her car, she drives off.

i text her about 3 minutes after she books that she stole my jacket. before we met she had planned a week trip to go backpacking with someone (not sure if its a guy/girl, pretty sure its a guy). we text lightheartedly, she mentions meeting up but says she ran out of time before the trip so left it at her work where i could pick it up. text ends with "have a lovely week. xo"

so i guess i wait a week. i assume she has some sort of failing relationship going on and wants to end it beforehand, hence no sex.

now i just cant get this image out of my mind: as we make out with me on top in the back of a prius, i pause and stop to look at her. shes damn beautiful. model beautiful. i said "youre pretty", she says "youre handsome"... then she says "i like you" and i reply with "i like you too" and i keep looking until the smile on her face slowly fades, and her eyes get super-duper lovey and it feels like im staring into her soul. we then pull each other hard and get back into it.

tl:dr waiting sucks

and question: if youre well off, when do you show a gal and/or let her know this? its pretty hard to avoid if she comes back to my pad
 

demon

I don't mean to alarm you but you have dogs on your face
Eggo said:
Yes, I downloaded it from iTunes.




I'll counter this by saying I enjoyed The Game and would recommend it to others in a heartbeat. It's what got me interested in pickup culture to start. It also led me to other reading like that body language book which I recommended a few pages back. I liked Strauss' writing enough to read The Dirt as well.
It really is pretty bad writing, and the second half of the book is like a terrible, never-ending episode of The Real World. But I'll admit I enjoyed the first half on some level.

As for The Pickup Podcast, I've listened to it. It's not bad; some of the episodes are interesting and somewhat insightful, and the two hosts don't come off as genuine douches, but a majority of the episodes feel like they don't have any real content. Granted I haven't listened in a while.
 
Eggo said:
I agree with you. It's easy to wear the white knight persona online, but I question how these moral upstanding citizens would react in a real-world scenario. It's one thing to say "I would never cheat, and cheating is wrong." It's another to be presented with a real opportunity on a business trip in a foreign country when a girl has her hand on your lap and you've been drinking. I'm not condoning cheating, but things aren't always black and white in the real world.

How is that not black and white? One choice will hurt someone you (supposedly) care about and is easily avoidable. The other is, well, nothing.

I'm not about to give someone a pass because they don't know how to turn down a woman.
 

SRG01

Member
vitaminwateryum said:
Letting a website percentage predetermine whether or not you're good for another person is absolute horse shit. You're both enjoying your time together (as far as I can tell) so what does it matter? As for whether you like her or not, that's up to you to figure out.

No, you're misunderstanding my problem. Many signs -- including a match percentage -- point to success. However, I cannot figure out whether I want to pursue it further or not.

In other words, I'm confused as to whether emotional compatibility can come second to physical compatibility in a relationship.
 
liquidatedbrains said:
alright first shot at this because this time, I want a relationship with this gal:

shes 30, im 24

OMG WTF?

and question: if youre well off, when do you show a gal and/or let her know this? its pretty hard to avoid if she comes back to my pad

You should have taken her back to your place. Back seat of a Prius? What are you 24?!

LOL.

Don't say anything about being well off. Let her see how you live your life and she will get it. I would caution you though, if there is a high degree of contrast between you two in earning, it can be a problem.
 
Solideliquid said:
You should have taken her back to your place. Back seat of a Prius? What are you 24?!

LOL.

Don't say anything about being well off. Let her see how you live your life and she will get it. I would caution you though, if there is a high degree of contrast between you two in earning, it can be a problem.

offered to take her back to my place (which was dumb, as it would expose her to something i dont want her to know yet), she politely turned it down

and yeah, the income difference will be a problem... how the fuck do you deal with it? granted things could be worse... but im not entirely sure how to handle it seeing as unless im dating a full on heart surgeon itll be noticeable. guess ill just leave all that out of the equation until i know we're working well
 
liquidatedbrains said:
offered to take her back to my place (which was dumb, as it would expose her to something i dont want her to know yet), she politely turned it down


That's fine. Overall it seemed to go very well. I had a similar situation and it's probably better to wait until date #3 or #4 for the sex. Don't worry, it seems that she likes you and that means if you go out again you'll be hitting it. Guaranteed dude.
 

SRG01

Member
So looking back at my life, this is perhaps the second time that I've encountered such a situation. I think my main problem is that I tend to confuse physical attraction with emotional intimacy quite often. I'm a lot better at it these days -- hence my repeated first dates as I've said multiple times in this thread.

My criterion as of late has been whether I could be friends with any given woman I date and it has been fairly effective. It shows respect, compatibility, and so forth. This rule should be a deal-breaker to anyone who doesn't meet this requirement. However, I've finally met someone who is tempting enough despite knowing that I'll get hurt really bad if things don't work out.

Hence my newfound hesitation...
 
Tkawsome said:
Say "Hi" to the girl 20 times and then maybe she'll approach me. It's foolproof.

Really, if I'm seeing her that frequently I'll try my luck with a good old fashioned conversation. Maybe do the "Hi" thing a couple of times, but that description is nuts.

While the description is terrible, this actually worked for me... although inadvertently.

Last summer, there was this really cute girl in my office who worked on different team from myself, we had no direct contact with each other. I was still with my ex at the time, but she was cute, so I'd give a friendly "Hi" whenever I saw her, but never stopped to speak. Within a few days, she was approaching me to chat and I'd catch her eyeballing me whenever i'd pass by her team.

It was only when she saw me one day coming off the train holding hands with my gf, that she cooled off.
 

vitaminwateryum

corporate swill
SRG01 said:
No, you're misunderstanding my problem. Many signs -- including a match percentage -- point to success. However, I cannot figure out whether I want to pursue it further or not.

In other words, I'm confused as to whether emotional compatibility can come second to physical compatibility in a relationship.

Heh, misread that bit.
 

Druz

Member
SRG01 said:
So, I'm in a bit of a bind here.

Last night, I went to Tango/second date with the girl, and it went pretty well. We had a lot of physical chemistry and we flirted a lot. We even got to talking about sex (not between us, but our views on it) in the car.

At one point, we got to talking about how we viewed each other, and it was mutual that we didn't know much about each other. I said that I liked spending time with her, and that I was interested in her. She said that she liked spending time with me too, but she got the impression that I wanted to jump into something right away (which she couldn't offer right now), to which I said that I wasn't (which was true). I remarked that 'The faster you get into something, the faster you want to get out'. I wanted to know her better before any potential relationship. At the end of the date, we tentatively set something for a mini-belated birthday for us, as well as possibly more Tango. No kiss, just a hug since she was also recovering from a cold.

That isn't the problem.

The problem is that after the date, I got to thinking about things. I'm obviously very attracted to her, and she excites me because she's very flirtatious and sexually open. On the other hand, our compatibility worries me. It says that we're like 83% match on OkC and we get along amazingly well, but... she's atheist and not really a dancer. In other words, I have fun with her and I'm enjoying myself... but does it mean that I like her? Is there even potential for something more? Should I call it off before I get too emotionally involved?

God, it's like the roles have suddenly reversed on me...


Whoa she's atheist? Marry her.
 

Eggo

GameFan Alumnus
Tkawsome said:
How is that not black and white? One choice will hurt someone you (supposedly) care about and is easily avoidable. The other is, well, nothing.

I'm not about to give someone a pass because they don't know how to turn down a woman.

Have you been in that situation before?
 

soultron

Banned
That "hi" thing sounds so funny. I must try it.

Could've worked well at the bus stop today. Met a glance with a girl and we both held it for reeeeally long. I'd say it was a good three seconds.

If only I knew about this magic "hi" trick then! Haha.
 
jamesinclair said:
"o thats koo and yea i luhv kids"

Fuck online dating. I don't want to have to read crap like this.


I've seen girls saying they won't talking to guys who type like that, win!

But I've seen girls with entire profiles typed out like that. Wtf are you 15? Shockingly many are 20+
 

Biff

Member
liquidatedbrains said:
how the fuck do you deal with it? granted things could be worse... but im not entirely sure how to handle it seeing as unless im dating a full on heart surgeon itll be noticeable.
...

Girl-Age: Stealth Bragging Since 2009™
 
So I created an okcupid account just because I felt like it. A girl has this in her profile.

You should message me if

You love juice....I mean...You fucking love juice!

I am incredibly tempted to say something about pussy juice.
 

Kinitari

Black Canada Mafia
A bit random, but I wanted to ask GAF a question here.

So I have two friends, male and female, who are dating. I won't go into the whole sordid affair, but they broke up a few months ago because a bunch of problems here and there.

Well in these few months, I took out the dude - we went to a few clubs and I tried to get him to hit on women... he just can't, he doesn't know how, and to be honest I probably am not the best coach. Regardless, he got no play.

Her on the other hand, about a month after they broke up, she started sleeping with someone on and off, but stopped because (while the sex was apparently very good) they were too different, and she was worried about getting hurt in a casual relationship. She then tried dating someone, and almost immediately after she did, decided she wanted to get back together with the guy she broke up with a few months back.

Well now they're back together, like I knew they would be, I feel bad for the guy - but he doesn't have too many prospects.

here's the real problem. While a lot of the reasons for the original breakup are either gone, have been fixed, or are being worked on - there is one problem that seems to be unfixable - their sex life. For some reason, I have this effect on girls where they think I have the answers to all their relationship problems, so she comes to me and tells me about her not-so-good sex life. Some of her problems could be fixed, if he put an effort into fixing them, she's tried talking to him about it, but he isn't responsive. One problem though... can't exactly be fixed.

She's actually a bit worried, she had really good sex when she was broken up, and she's relatively young so that's new for her. Now she can't help but compare it, and it's apparently driving her crazy, and making her feel kind of slutty for placing so much importance on sex.

She isn't sure what to do, and in the last little while a few new problems have popped up in their relationship (for example, he found out she slept with other people, and he isn't taking it well).

I sort of think they shouldn't be dating - she's really young, and he is much older and is looking for something serious, while she is still learning about... being in relationships and whatnot. And while she asks for my advice a lot, I haven't given her anything other than "slow down".

What does GAF think?
 

Kinitari

Black Canada Mafia
Barrage said:
Relationship sounds doomed at this stage in their lives.

What's the unfixable problem? Premature ejac? Pube stench? Spicy foreskin?

I think it is too - she's 19, he's 26.

Endowment.
 

soultron

Banned
Kinitari, it's doomed. Just humour her with advice if you're her friend. Unless the guy works on his bedroom antics, she will move on.

They just got back together and she's been exposed to good dick. This is the new problem in their relationship that will break them up. His insecurities (if he doesn't do a 180, but that's unlikely) will put the last nail in the coffin.
 

SRG01

Member
I can't shake this feeling for some reason. Hell, I don't even know what I'm feeling right now. Am I anxious? Absolutely. But is it a fear of unreciprocated feelings, or that I might not even like her in the first place? Is it anxiety over chemistry? I haven't felt this way about someone for almost two years now.

Ugh, I need to calm down. I'm losing my mind.
 
Relix said:
Meh, I think I am gonna drop the gloves with this girl. She's awesome and all but I don't know how to "get in", not in the sexual sense of course. I can't decipher her, plus re-reading one of the texts I sent drunk a week ago I found one I skipped over that she sent... it said "Better the way it is" (as friends). So, taking the gloves off. As said before, she has gotten a bit more physical, taking the initiative to talk to me, but that little sentence completely shut me off.

I think I'll go clubbing. Easier to get girls that way =P, besides I don't really want a serious relationship even though I like the girl.

*Walks away with head held high*
I don't really think you know what "drop the gloves" means.
 

Jhoan

Member
The week has started off pretty good for me. Yesterday, I went to the second orientation at my college, met a bunch of people and practiced my game on a Puerto Rican chick and teased her on the fact that she would need to use a microscope to see her signature on her I.D and made good conversation with her and her friend who I believe is gay based on the weak and awkward handshake he gave me and the way he spoke. Suffice to say, I still got game after not practicing it for a little while. I also had to read a question in front of people then I cracked a joke when the prize wheel which made people laugh. Unfortunately, the Puerto Rican chick left with her friend and I wasn't able to catch up to them after orientation ended, so I went to run my school errands. I'll probably see her around.

So about 30 minutes ago or so, I was on Facebook, when this chick I went to high school with started chatting with me. Now keep in mind that my good friend told me that she used to like me back in high school, although she had some nasty habits like belching and being extremely loud and tomboyish and that's a turn-off for me and I never had a thing for her. Long story short, she invited me to go to some youth event that's in her church next Sunday. Here's another thing that I should mention: I'm not a fan of going to churches because I used to go a Christian church and from personal experience, it brainwashed me and turned me into a huge pansy and prevented me from doing "things not of God." Thankfully, I haven't been to a church in over 7 years because I don't believe in pastors and I think they're thieves and it opened my eyes to life again and ever since, I've been drinking socially, cursing, and have done some things that devout Christians would condemn me for.

So she asked me for my number and after my brother told me that I should give it to her because I don't go out much, I obliged. I told that I can't promise her that I'll go and that I haven't been to a church in a while. I don't wanna feel forced to go because she has my number and she sees me online on FB. So my question to you guys (and gals) is should I go? I have a feeling she still likes me and that's probably her motive for inviting me. On the other hand, it's an opportunity to practice my game, and if I still don't find her attractive and find myself not liking the event, I'll tell her straight up and tell her that I don't want to go any more. Another part of me feels like this is a trap to try to get me to pray (I'm not atheist; I'd rather pray at home and in silence) and and commit to going to her church and I'm not a fan of that type of stuff.
 
Eggo said:
Have you been in that situation before?

Yes, I have turned down women who were aggressively trying to sleep with me. Women in long term relationships seem to love me as well, so I've had to cut things off a couple of times because I didn't want to be responsible for them cheating.
 

SRG01

Member
BronzeWolf said:
So you get a cute girl AND an awesome critical thinking in one package. WHAT A DEAL

I know she sounds good on paper. Believe me, I feel the same way. But I can't shake the feeling that something's very wrong about this...
 
Adent said:
Wow this thread makes me cringe. It's nice that your all trying to help each other with advice just not the right advice. I'm sure it's happened before but what happened when someone came in and told you guys about Pickup websites like http://www.fastseduction.com/? Were you guy's like "No we like to bash our heads against the wall instead!"?

That's all excellent advice for the average guy looking to get laid. A lot of questions/problems ITT are about relationships and complicated situations that come from them. If you followed that websites advice at the first sign of trouble its solution would be "drop her and move on".
Fine if no particular girl means more than the next.

A lot of that advice could definitely help you in the initial stages of a relationship though, I'll definitely say that.
 
SRG01 said:
I know she sounds good on paper. Believe me, I feel the same way. But I can't shake the feeling that something's very wrong about this...

Dude! just try it, what good is life if you don't go out and live it
 
SRG01 said:
I know she sounds good on paper. Believe me, I feel the same way. But I can't shake the feeling that something's very wrong about this...

If your religion is important to you, it will eventually become an issue. I had an ex-gf that was an atheist and when we reached a certain situation in our relationship, her atheism and my Catholicism just wouldn't mesh at all. We stayed together after we got through the situation but it was clear that we were on our last legs.
 

Rubenov

Member
Just dropping by to add another vote for the Pickup podcast (with the Harbinger (sp?) folks... not the other cheap imitiations). Great resource overall and non-douchey; although they seem to have slowed down with the podcasts they are putting out quite a bit. There is still a ton of info there though.
 
I'm going to rant for a bit in a long post because I'm confused and if anyone wants to read it and sort through my thoughts and give me advice it would be wonderful. Sorry if it's jumbled and possibly a little over informative or graphic.

So I met this girl about one week ago at a sports pub out in Manhattan while watching the first Steelers playoff game Saturday, we hit it off pretty good, she's really into sports and we have some good jokes going back and forth so I ask her to come with me to a different bar (since the one we were in was stupidly crowded) to watch the Falcon's game with me, she obliges and we go to watch the game and eat at a bar down the street. Odd thing is she doesn't want any drinks though, says she doesn't want to get sleepy. To make a long story short it goes well and I end up walking her home and getting a nice little make-out session from it. She calls me the next day on Sunday, says she knows it's short notice but wants me to come watch the Jet's game with her - I blow off my plans to hang with my friends and go to meet her at her place. We get about half way through the game before we're making out again and I end up spending the night in her bed. No true sex though, just almost everything but. Monday morning I take the "shameful" subway ride home.

The reason I say shameful is because I realize I don't really know the girl at all. outside of football at least, and was worried it was moving too quickly since I know after having sex with a girl they're all of a sudden in "let's be in a relationship" mode... At least in my past experience. I kind of say to myself I won't see her again for a week at least but she continues to text me throughout the next few days. Come Thursday night she calls me and tells me she had a really bad day at work and wants to see me. I tried to get her to meet me at a coffee shop or movie theater but she insisted she wanted to relax at home and "cuddle" and offers to order pizza. I go to her place, eat pizza, and try to get to know her a little better but aside from learning she hasn't seen a single one of my favorite movies and her favorite genre of music is country and bubble-gum pop (both of which I hate) I learn mostly about her job before it gets sexual again. In the midst of it all I end up promising her I'll watch the Jet's/Steelers game with her if she goes to see The Fighter with me and watches the copy of Goodfella's I let her borrow.

Saturday I meet her and we go and watch The Fighter and then she wants to take me ice skating. I don't ice skate but she really wanted me to with her and insists we do it at Bryant Park (it's free there as opposed to Rockefeller) I go, she rents the skates for us, and it's pretty fun for about 30 minutes until she starts complaining her ankles are hurting. We stop and I go to buy us coffee when I learn she hates coffee (I'm a heavy coffee drinker) but ok, we go back to her place after I have a cup and she wants me to get her off as a "reward" to her because she took me skating. I do it and then she proceeds to give the worst hand job in history in return... she can't get me off and I tell her to let me show her how - she gets sad and I cheer her up by complimenting the shit out of her. Next day we wake up and I want to get out and walk around a bit since we'd been in bed for about 12 hours... just out to Times Square or something or to the coffee shop. She says she hates walking around but says I can go grab coffee if I want (I walk every day, I love it and exercise that way). A little disappointed I'm going alone I go down and buy coffee, she gives me her keys so I can come straight back, it kind of weirded me out she was handing over all her keys to me but I took them and left for about an hour. We go to a bar to watch the Jets game, hoping they'd go to the Superbowl so there'd be a big party, but when we get there I learn she doesn't drink, at all... ever. I also learn, after having a few drinks myself, she's a virgin and the longest relationship she's been in was 3 months long with a guy she only saw every other week. So the Jets are losing and I'm learning all this shit about this girl so I end up drinking two or three more beers and maybe a vodka tonic than I should. I end up passing out on her bed back at her place but not before she tries to get me off again, it works this time but only because I'm finger-banging her the entire time piss drunk.

The next morning we wake up and I try to ascertain her interests once more. She plays me some music from her iTunes library, shows me pictures, tells me how much she loves romantic comedies and tries to explain to me how Glee is the absolute best show on television. I basically can't agree with her on anything, and besides the fact that she's a total sport nut can't think of any interest we share. In fact I think our interests go against one another. She tells me she wants me to to "ask her to be in a relationship" and that she wants me to take away her virginity... I really don't want to sound like I'm bragging but she's really really into me, more than any girl I've dated before. I don't know why though, she says she likes the way I treat her, but I just treat her like I would any other random girl I'm dating - nicely and with respect. Maybe I'm acting too affectionate or overly romantic in general? The last girl that broke my heart said I was clingy but I actually had similar interests with that girl and tried to share them with her... now I don't even know what to do with this girl after the Superbowl is over.

Advice? Please?

P.S. I'm 25 years old and she's 24 (if that matters somehow)
 

spineduke

Unconfirmed Member
Houston3000 said:
Advice? Please?

If you have very little in common, and you guys don't really click with each other's routines/mentalities... What can you do? She really doesn't sound like your type.

edit: Re-read your post. Is there anything positive you've mentioned about her?
 
Urrgh

Sleeping with a chick from work, nothing more than that which is cool. But it's boring, and we're hardly talking right now

There are a few chicks on OKC that I want to talk to but I'm not even bothered to write a damn email! I've done everything I could, got my self sorted, got my money (kinda) right, got my full job, got into super shape but I'm just not finding the right girl man.

Guess I gotta go out more to find more ladies but I barely get time after work and uni. Eh!
 

SephCast

Brotherhood of Shipley's
Houston3000 said:

Give it a shot for a couple weeks/months. Smang it. She'll lose her virginity and realize it's not a big deal, and then probably get tired of the fact that you two have nothing in common.
 
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