Directed by Colin Trevorrow
Written by Derek Connolly
Music by Michael Giacchino
EXECUTIVLEY PRODUCED BY Steven Spielberg
Hatches June 12
After audiences incredibly high demand for a new Jurassic Park film 14 years since the last critically acclaimed installment, Steven Spielberg answered the call of the series’ many fans (i.e. Universal Studios who needs another franchise that aren’t cheap horror flicks or Fast & Furious) and EXECTUVIELY PROUDCED a new film with director Colin Trevorrow and writer Derek Connolly of Safety Not Guaranteed fame that everyone saw on release.
The next Indiana Jones
Don’t get her confused with Jessica Chastain.
He is the ill-intent.
You’re trying to put your finger on where you saw him last…
After less than TWO (2) minutes of screentime, he returns.
No tigers this time, just dinosaurs.
So you’re Jurassic World. Your job is to rejuvenate life in to a film series that even its fans admit kinda suck as only 1 out of 3 movies are any good. People are cynical and tired of seeing a bunch of CGI prehistoric animals eat people and want something new. So you deliver a new, bullshit, made-up lizard monster to try and wow audiences one last time (JUST like the plot of your film, because you're a clever girl like that). You’ve been set to strike in the summer of 2015. Competition is about as fierce as your main attraction considering you’re not the hotly anticipated sequel to a beloved Superhero-team up film, nor are you the universally acclaimed post-apocalyptic car chase movie. But you still have a chance, see, you’re not the superhero reboot with zero expectations, nor are you an overlooked horror remake or sequel.
If that wasn’t enough, there are people out there who have no faith in you. Now this is your chance to make good on all those kids who grew up with the brand name you're carrying. To make good on those kids that launched their imaginations with Jurassic Park who played on the playground by being an Alan Grant among their friends escaping T-Rexes. So please, don’t fuck this up because everyone who’s defended this movie is going to be shat on for, like, the next week and a half (until the OT goes to page 2), and I just can't have that because I am physically unable to close my eyes, exit a browser, or visit another website (for some reason) so I just take the abuse.
Look, Jurassic World, what I’m trying to say is that, despite the series’ history and the unimpressive marketing campaign, people are still rooting for you to be your best. Some people are just happy you exist after 14 years. Now let me just grab my pom-poms and I’ll go back to cheer for you throughout your ups and downs like a good cheerleader. I was 8 when Jurassic Park III came out, The Lost World was the first movie I saw in a theater (I was 4), you really think I'm going into this movie with a critical mind? <_< >_> You've read the OT up to this point, right? Listen, if you're better or as good as TLW or JPIII, I'll consider that a success. I mean, your leading lady is pretty scary:
Hahaha, no, not really. Not yet, anyways. But just in case studio executives are reading this, a fellow member already has your layout for the future:
It was only a matter of time. Ride on.
So as we learned that more dinosaurs had feathers, we all, foolishly assumed Jurassic Park would try to be up-to-date on more mainstream science. But then, uh, THIS happened:
Plot twist: It was Spielberg the whole time.
Say it with me now: Birds. Are. Dinosaurs.
Embargo lifts on the 10th of June. So place your bets now so you can be humiliated later.
What NeoGAF is saying:
Footage of the Indominus Rex and Tyrannosaurus Rex fight:
Featuring the greatest love story in the Jurassic Park series:
Official Website
Spoiler Thread
Jurassic World.org -Great fansite
Walking With Dinosaur GAF and other prehistoric creatures |OT| -Want to learn more about Earth's pre-historic past? Click here.
I guess if you actually bothered to read all this, you're probably asking yourself, "Well, Toa TAK, should I go see it?" Dude or Dudette, I'm not your damn Magic 8 Ball, just go see it, I mean, you're already here wasting time reading an OT. You're apparently very curious (about the movie) just go. It won't hurt you, I promise, and look, no Spinosaurus (sadly). How bad could it be? So go forth my fourm-goers.
Hang on to your butts, and go forth (just don't go into the long grass).
And once more:
**Special Thanks to Quick for the OT's images, Demoncarnotaur for leading the herd into hype mode for this film, and SunhiLegend for the awesome Indominus gif.**
