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Kai Cole, Joss Whedon's Ex-Wife, calls him out as a 'Hypocrite Preaching Feminism'

Okay congratulations? Did you think you knew everything there was to know about the many different ways feminism is interpreted?

Can't wait to tell my ex girlfriend what an awful feminist she's been for cheating on me. LOL

Do you realize how silly that sounds?
 

entremet

Member
Married guy writing a show about empowered women who uses his position to possibly bang said actresses?

That is literally patriarchalism.
Curious, what if the women enjoyed sleeping with him and wanted to fuck him?

My issue with this interpretation is that it removes sexual agency and is rather sex negative.

I’m not saying exploitation doesn’t happen. Of course it does. But has Joss been accused of it?
 

Famassu

Member
If you pay attention in Buffy and Angel it is really apparent.


Dude had a hard-on for punishing his women characters whenever they had sex.
Umm... Whedon punishes everyone for anything & everything. He likes tragedy more than keeping a happy status quo, especially when it comes to relationships.
 
The cheating doesn't strike me as anti-feminist.

But the abuse of producing power over young women working under him to get them in the sack certainly treads the hypocrite line.
 

LotusHD

Banned
Honestly question, if someone wants to sleep with you because you are famous/talented or they think it will help them advance their career, are you to blame for doing it? Whedon isn't exactly Mick Jagger but I don't doubt he legitimately had people interested in him just for being himself or for being in charge of so many projects, no "grooming" required.

Like, telling an actress they have to sleep with you or they won't get a part is one thing, but what if it's initiated by the "less powerful" party? Is it the more powerful's responsibility to deny regardless of circumstance because of the dynamic?

Uh, yes?
 

Kinyou

Member
You could say this in a vacuum, I guess, but the fact is that he was a man in power in a male dominated field, having affairs with women on the project he's leading. And he somehow felt like he could get away with it, and the wife at home didn't need to know?

Also notice how he described the problem as being that he's too good and the women are the flawed and 'needy', 'aggressive' ones.
Isn't it very possible that those other women did indeed pursue him? I'm not going to jump to a conclusion there with so little info.

From what I read in the OP she isn't accusing him of abusing his power, is she?
 

DeathyBoy

Banned
Curious, what if the women enjoyed and wanted to fuck him?

My issue with this interpretation is that it removes sexual agency and is rather sex negative.

I’m not saying exploitation doesn’t happen. Of course it does. But has Joss been accused of it?

If he actually slept with his actresses, as their boss he's crossing a line. Especially as their is a clear and very weird power issue at play. He literally is a patriarchal figure to them.
 

Feep

Banned
You cannot be a decent feminist if you don't treat consent and bodily autonomy as sacrosanct. Yes, this means there are bad feminists out there, but I've been calling Joss a bad feminist based on his writing for years.
Are there any accusations of violating bodily autonomy or consent, here?

Feminism, to me, means treating those of all genders with equal respect and consideration. Cheating is a deep personal blow, but it doesn't necessarily have anything to do with thinking women in general are less than people.

Not defending Whedon here, though...I find using a position of power to hurt someone intolerable. But it's an interesting debate to talk about how that specifically relates to the concept of feminism. I think you can be a shitty person and still be a feminist.
 

SRG01

Member
It's not the cheating that sticks out as much as he sounds like he took advantage of and preened young, likely impressionable fans and actresses.

DING. He can't say he's a feminist if he's taking advantage of women from a position of power and influence.
 

entremet

Member
If he actually slept with his actresses, as their boss he's crossing a line. Especially as their is a clear and very weird power issue at play. He literally is a patriarchal figure to them.
Even if consensual?

I think it’s morally wrong, to be fair. Just trying to understand the feminist angle.
 
If judging by nothing else but his Wonder Woman script, I would argue that Joss Whedon is way more into fetishized versions of strong and independent women than realistic versions of strong and independent women.
 

Slayven

Member
When I was running ‘Buffy,’ I was surrounded by beautiful, needy, aggressive young women. It felt like I had a disease, like something from a Greek myth. Suddenly I am a powerful producer and the world is laid out at my feet and I can’t touch it.”

That sounds sleazy as hell.

"I have all this power over women and goddamn i can't use it to make them sleep with me"
 

Shoeless

Member
This is certainly disappointing to hear, though considering the way Hollywood works, it definitely can't be called a surprise that no one would ever consider.

Still, it ultimately doesn't detract from the fact that Buffy entertained and inspired many people. As did Firefly, and as did the Avengers. It does tarnish the artist a bit, but doesn't negate the positive feelings that the art created in people.
 
Just like sports stars and politicians, no?

Joss should've been honest and separated from his wife if he wanted to play the field with consensual relationships. But I don't think temperament has anything to do with it.
sorry, i guess i meant to say, dude who pretended he was a lovable geek feminist who used his non-threatening persona to prey on young and impressionable women* is a scumbag, i'm so surprised!

also i love this part lol:
Editor's Note: A spokesperson for Joss Whedon provided the following response, ”While this account includes inaccuracies and misrepresentations which can be harmful to their family, Joss is not commenting, out of concern for his children and out of respect for his ex-wife."

like this isn't making a statement in and of itself. "there's inaccuracies, we won't say what they are, but anyways..."
 
Yes, really lol

Saying "STOP" in all caps at someone like that is ridiculous

Maybe sit down and listen to women talk about feminism instead of lecturing them about it

Nobody's lecturing anybody. I disagree that infidelity has anything to do with advocating for woman's rights on the basis of equality of the sexes.
 

DeathyBoy

Banned
Even if consensual?

I think it’s m wrong, to be fair. Just trying to understand the feminist angle.

Yes.

Because the power imbalance means that he holds a warped control over them. And it goes against everything he ever said about empowered women battling patriarchal institutions.

I agree. I was replying more to that specific hypothetical without the power play.

A woman cheating on a man isn't inherently anti feminist. Depends on context I'd guess.
 

SArcher

Banned
Whedon about to be driven off of twitter again lol.

But seriously, I've been defending Whedon ever since everyone turned on the guy (AoU) but this is a shitty thing to learn about jim and I'm really disappointed in the guy.
 
That sounds sleazy as hell.

"I have all this power over women and goddamn i can't use it to make them sleep with me"

I don't know. It sounds pretty human. Day after day you encounter sexually attractive people who want you (or what you can give them). Who wouldn't be tempted? I'm in no way saying this excuses infidelity or lack of self restraint but I see how easily this story could be true.
 

Slayven

Member
Black Widow in Age of Ultron makes way more sense now.

I don't know. It sounds pretty human. Day after day you encounter sexually attractive people who want you (or what you can give them). Who wouldn't be tempted? I'm in no way saying this excuses infidelity or lack of self restraint but I see how easily this story could be true.

It's the phrasing that is telling
 

Pau

Member
Can't wait to tell my ex girlfriend what an awful feminist she's been for cheating on me. LOL

Do you realize how silly that sounds?
I don't fucking care about how you want to deal with your relationship messes.

Did I ever call Joss an awful feminist for this? I mentioned what cheating could have to do with feminism. A lot of people think a big part of feminism is focusing on people (particularly women but not exclusively) being able to make informed decisions about their bodies. You know what is the opposite of an informed decision? Have unprotected sex with someone who lies to you about not having sex with anyone else and not having any STDs.
 
Joss Whedon is now someone's Milkshake Duck

😂 I know at least two people who will hate to read this, and probably refuse to believe it.

Not too shocked personally, his preaching always felt contradicted by some of the things in his movies. Especially recently. Especially if you read the scripts.
 

firehawk12

Subete no aware
Yeah, I'm not sure why anybody is surprised by this revelation.
You don't go around talking about being a feminist and do this stuff though. That's the difference. Would anyone care if this was like, Tom Brady or some other celebrity who has no political opinions of positions?
 

Dan

No longer boycotting the Wolfenstein franchise
I've heard some other stories about him being an asshole to people close to him, so... not too surprising.
 

Biske

Member
Haven't we moved past the point where anyone can pretend to be shocked that rich powerful men and women with tons of options aren't monogamous or that heros aren't special?

Apparently people really cant believe that someone who makes things they like is a douche bag.

Most obvious shit in the world.
 

royalan

Member
Uhhh...

If Joss Whedon is using his fame and position to step out on his wife and hook up with impressionable young actresses and fans, that doesn't make him a bad feminist; that makes him a bad person, period.

It's strange to tie infidelity and coercion directly to feminism.
 
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